Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #168: You ARE Enough with Heather!

Episode Date: November 24, 2021

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  With all success comes some failure   Accepting you ARE enough   Clearing negative energy out of your life Giving the gift of confidence  Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  Focus on the things in life you CAN control! I encourage you to keep moving forward even through the hiccups because all we can do is learn from our mistakes. SO much goes into launching a book or a business that it is almost inevitable something will go wrong. Trying out new things can come with mishaps, but you are not alone! The struggle is VERY real and I am right there with you.  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me today. Okay, so if we're going to title this episode, anything, I think it should be the struggle is real. Or if you are struggling, you are not alone. So let me give it to you. Here's what's going on. As you know, my book launch date after eight months of prep work and planning and, well, it was changed, you know, a week before launch. It was changed by seven days. And then Barnes & Noble, books a million and Christian books all shipped my books on the original launch date. And I had an in-person speaking event with the company had ordered a thousand books. for the event and that was delivered early as well. So splitting, you know, all of my numbers between two weeks, which is pretty much not a great thing for an author because the way you make the bestseller lists is you put all of your books into one week so that you're able to hit these lists and mine were split between two. Okay. So that happened, which is, you know, there's nothing you can do.

That was all around shipping issues and supply chain issues, which is impacting everybody. I know that. There's nothing we can do. So you just focus on the things you can control. I'm not going to lie. It is frustrating, right? I've worked on this book for two years. For eight months, we worked on the launch, and it kind of just fell apart in the end. So chalk it up and we keep on moving. It's kind of crazy when I look back to 2018 when I launched Confidence Creator. There were no supply chain issues. There were no delivery issues. The launch date happened exactly when it was supposed to, right? None of these factors that you deal with in 2021 were issues in 2018. And I didn't realize what a blessing that was, right? I just took that for granted. The other thing that's super interesting is when I launched my first book

in 2018, I just picked a random date, you know, that people thought seemed like a good date in May. I think it was May 9th or May 15th. I don't remember anymore. But nothing was going on. There was just, there was no big news, no big book launches, nothing. And so my book, the first week, it took, number one on the Amazon bestseller list in like five different categories. Cut to 2021. Will Smith launched his book the same time my book launched. Adele dropped this album. Taylor Swift dropped some huge album.

The CEO of PepsiCo dropped a business book directly targeted at me and my audience, right? Like there's so much. There's all this news around supply chain. It's the holidays. My book gets delayed, right? There's all this noise. and I was so clear on, oh my gosh, I'm definitely hitting Wall Street Journal bestseller list. The first week the book comes out, well, that ship has sailed because that didn't happen.

My books were split in two. And then I also thought, okay, if in 2018 I was able to hit five lists on Amazon, I'll definitely hit 10. This one. I hit one, right? Because it's so much more competitive. And again, out of our control, it was just based on something random, a date, right? the date that we picked was just not the most ideal date, super competitive this time versus in 2018, randomly picked a date and it was an ideal date. So, you know, there's oftentimes nothing we can

do, and so it's not worthwhile getting dragged down into, you know, what if? What if I had launched this book on another date? What if there wasn't so much competition? What if there wasn't so much noise out there, right? Would it be different? Maybe, but maybe not. So we move on and I just try to focus on what next action step can I take to move things forward. In the spirit of trying to keep it real for you, sometimes I think people think, oh, that person has it all together and everything goes swimmingly. Well, that's definitely not the case for me. Okay, maybe it is for some people. I doubt it, but I'll just tell you that behind the scenes, things are a lot more hectic than what you might realize. But I also want to break it down for you because there's a tremendous amount of hard work that

goes into a book launch, into my book launch in particular, some of it pays off amazing and some of it doesn't, right? I make some bad choices because I believe in testing and trying different things in an attempt to innovate, an attempt to go one to many, in an attempt to launch this book really with some major impact. So whenever you try new things, you're going to have failure, right? You're going to have success, hopefully, and failure along the way. And I just want to give you a little peek into what the last week has been like for me and what I, and what I was doing behind the scenes that you might not have been aware of and some of the headaches that came along.

Okay. So this is just to let you know you are not alone. The struggle is very real. And I am right there with you in this struggle. And it is sometimes a hard pill to swallow, but we're keeping it moving. Okay. So going into book, my new fake book launch week, we'll call it the first one was supposed to be the ninth.

The second one was the 16th. So we'll call the new launch was the 16th. That's the one that, you know, Harper Collins had me pivot to. So going into book launch week that Friday, I had a board meeting in Naples, Florida, which I have to share this with you. My compensation on my board position is massive versus what my comp used to be in stock when I was a C-suite executive at the same company for 14 years. And I share that. Because it's funny, whatever you become used to or familiar with, you think that's just the norm and that's, you know, all that there can be. And now here I am outside of that company, outside of that negative situation, and I'm getting my compensation on my stock that I'm awarded is so much greater. It's mind-blowing. Oh, my gosh, why didn't I leave that company earlier? If you're stuck in a situation and wondering, is there something better outside? Yes, there is.

Of course, it does take a little of a stumbling around to find it, right? I didn't find my board seat immediately. It took me a couple of years to find it. But I've been there over a year now. I work with the most amazing people. We have so much fun together. We're innovating and doing so much great work. And they're compensating me in a way that I never would have been compensated back in corporate America. So I'm super grateful for that. And I didn't know that was going to be available to me. So I wonder what is available to you that you're not aware of yet. You've got to. to put yourself out there, step into that, no, and take those risks in order to find out. So I'm so grateful. And that all came from me launching my coaching program during the pandemic. And one of the gentleman that was in my coaching program said, you've got to be on the board of directors for the company that I'm on the CFO of. We need you. And he pitched me.

Again, I needed to have that expertise from 20 plus years, you know, leading sales teams in corporate America. but because I had that, and then because I launched a coaching program, because he joined, serendipitously all these things lined up, and then he was willing to nominate me. And so much of being on a board is around the expertise that you have, of course, first and foremost, but then secondly, the trust that you have from some board member or from the CEO or the founder. You know, trust is always at that epicenter that people know you're a good person,

you're reliable, you know, your word is powerful and important. Okay, so that was just a little bit of behind the scenes. On Friday, I had my board meeting. Then I had to hop on a plane and head to Orlando. I had a speaking engagement at the Gaylord Palms Convention Center, which is this huge, massive convention center. And I used to go there and stay there with my son during the holidays because it's beautiful and they do such a wonderful job making it festive and they have an ice rink and, you know, Universal is all decorated so much fun. So I had anticipated to take my son with VIII. And on this trip, and then it ends up, we find out from his basketball team that his first game is the Monday when we get back. And if he misses practice over the weekend, he cannot start. And Dylan is obviously super committed to his basketball team and his basketball. So we talked about it, and he wanted to find a way to stay home and work on his game, which I totally understood. However, as a parent, right, you always, you wish you could bring your child to anything that's going to be fun with you. But, you know, I understand that as he gets older, he's got his commitments. He's got to follow through on. So I end up going by myself to Orlando and get there the first night. They had asked the speakers to come in a day before because there's been a lot of issues lately with travel. There's a lot of flights getting canceled. There's a lot of delays. So I agreed to do it. They were compensating me fairly. And, you know, it was not a huge ask given our current issue with travel changes. So I flew out to Orlando, had no problem got there.

And the next day I was speaking. But before I was speaking for this event, I had agreed a friend of mine, Lou Parker, who's amazing anchor, KTLA TV in Los Angeles. She'd asked me, she was putting together this amazing event with Suzanne Summers, Cheryl Teeks, right? This really cool women supporting women event and asked me to participate. So I said, just make sure I go on first because I have to speak at a live event in Orlando right after. I'll be, you know, zooming into you from my hotel. She says, no problem.

Great. So I am getting ready in the morning. I jump on Zoom. And the first woman that was speaking was really interesting. She was speaking about tapping. And she was doing a tapping exercise around you are enough. And so one of the things, and if you've never heard of tapping before, I actually may do an episode on this because if a lot of you haven't heard about it, I want you to know and

have it readily available to you. But tapping is something that I started using. back, oh my gosh, probably seven or eight years ago to help me process, you know, negativity or negative self-talk or feelings of upset. It's a way to release emotion and you tap on meridian points on your face, your head, your shoulder, you know, your hand, your wrist, and you do the sequence, which ultimately helps you to let go of these emotions while saying certain things. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than a rough patch, you don't need just another meditation app.

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So I didn't. But it was a cool thing for me to do. And I stayed on camera the whole time, which I also thought was kind of powerful because I wasn't afraid of doing this exercise. One, I've done the work before, right? but I also do believe I'm enough, right? And it was just kind of a cool thing that I stayed on with a woman who was guiding and it's all about saying that you are enough and working through if you don't think you're enough, right, and to accept that you are. And it's a very powerful exercise. I think I have to have

this woman on to share it with you because it really impacted people in a big way. So I did the exercise live. I did not cry. I felt good about myself, but it's supposed to clear any type of negative emotion that you might have around yourself, around not being enough. Cut to, this was super important. I didn't know at the time. I thought I was just doing my friend of favor. You know, I did a little talk with her on air, and then I had to jump and run to this keynote

because this convention center is so massive, it takes so long to get from one side to the other. So anyhow, I do the exercise with them. I do a little talk with her. I jump off and I head over to the keynote, to the convention center portion of the venue. And I walk in. And they take me into the green room. I'm meeting everybody. You know, I'm excited to go on. And all of a sudden, a gentleman

comes up to me and says, oh, did you, I was closing the event out, by the way, okay, which is a huge deal, right? Like Tim Story was the one that closed the event out a couple weeks ago when I did an event. They usually keep their bigger names to be the last, you know, speaker. So I was super grateful to have that opportunity and really wanted to do a great job. Well, a gentleman who is emceeing the event comes over to me. He said, did you hear that the keynote speaker from yesterday killed it, Heather? He's amazing. And I had seen the guy on, they had done a Facebook live where they had all the speakers come in and, you know, just do a quick little talk to get people excited about the event. So I had seen him. I saw that he was a great speaker. I didn't feel intimidated, but, you know, I felt

excited that I was alongside other great speakers. And he says, well, you know, he really killed it. I mean, do you feel a little nervous that you've got to, you know, get yourself to that same level? And it was so funny. I was so grateful I'd have just done that I am enough exercise to clear any question that I might have about being enough because I looked right at him dead in the eye. I said, no, I'm good. I think that you're going to be really excited when you see me out there. Don't worry about it. I got this. And I felt 100% confident saying that. You know, so it was, it just worked out really nicely that I just done that exercise so that I didn't feel nervous walking into that. Because in a different mindset, obviously, you could feel a little bit nervous. when someone says, oh, so-and-so did so well, you know, are you going to be able to match that level of, you know, expertise or performance? So then I'm sitting backstage. We're talking. I'm meeting everybody and they, someone comes over that's in charge of the actual event logistics and says, oh, hey, Heather, a couple of things. We've got a little over a thousand people out there. We've got a camera back right that is live streaming to 32 countries, thousands of other people are live streaming.

please periodically connect with camera back right, as well as addressing the 1,000 plus attendees that we have live in front of you. So that was a new experience for me, this new hybrid where you're in-person, you have an in-person audience, right? It's not 10,000 people, but it's still a thousand people. You've got a decent audience in front of you, plus you have a camera to connect with. So I thought, okay, process this. Okay, I'll find a way to remember to look up there.

No problem. She said, oh, and then by the way, we cut Q&A. This is right when I'm about to go on. She said, we cut your Q&A portion. We just were having some issues around Q&A and chat thread and whatnot with the other speakers. So we just got rid of it. And we want you to improvise. And by the way, your books arrived.

So let's do something where you're directing people to leave after the event and meet you out in the hall and you'll sign books. And I said, okay. She said, so just improvise. So it was kind of one of those, these big moments where you have to say, I'm going to trust myself. The words are going to come to me. And in my mind, I started thinking like, okay, how could you? Could you tee this up? And for some reason, Oprah came into my mind and I started thinking how she used to do those like car giveaways, you know, these massive giveaways on her show. And you win one. And you win one. It just popped into my mind. So I thought, okay, I guess I need to do that, right? And I've got to wing it. I've got to find a way to get this place on their feet, going crazy, super excited. Of course, because that man challenged me behind stage to be better than this other speaker. But also, because I just wanted to do it. great job and that's what I was there, you know, to do for them. So they introduced me. I go out there

and I'll tell you, because I haven't done, I've probably done six in-person events since the pandemic. Everything has been done virtual for a year and a half now. I mean, I literally do multiple virtual events a day, multiple virtual webinars a day. And I walk out in-person live to over a thousand and people screaming and jumping up and down. And I really had to change course in the moment. You know, I'm so used to just me standing in my living room looking at that Zoom speaking, that I had to start jumping up and down, right? I had to start, they were giving me their energy and I needed to feed off and give it back to them. So anyhow, it ended up super exciting. I almost fell over, of course, because I'm not used to jumping up and down in high heels

anymore. I'm constantly with no shoes on at home. And so it was so funny. I had to make a joke and then boom, we were off and running. And the engagement was off the charts. These people were on, they were so my people. The company is called Lifewave. It's a direct sales company, MLM company. And these people were just so fired up, wanting, you know, wanting to respond, wanting to engage, wanting to yell out, which I love. That's so my people. So the energy was crazy. And I kept looking to the back right camera and trying to include the people in the 32 countries. It was just a wild, wild experience. And in total, attendees, there was thousands of people there.

So it was a very big conference. And for me to be closing it out was an honor, right? I was super grateful for the honor and I'm super excited because in real life, my book wasn't out yet, but we were able to get it in by chance, by luck. And because the CEO of the company, you know, paid Harper Collins to make it happen. So at the end of my speech, I say, okay, I've got one last announcement before I'm going to let everybody get out of here. here and go get a drink at the bar. They had been in this conference for three days, and they were, I'm sure, on some level, excited to be done. And I said, but first, I need to know, has anyone

ever seen the Oprah Winfrey show? Right. So I went into my whole Oprah thing. And then I started with, and you get one, and you get my book, and you get my book. They went crazy. They were standing up, cheering, screaming. It was so exciting. It was so cool. It was just such an unbelievable experience. I was so grateful to be back in person, back in front of larger audiences, back in front of people, excited to be around people, and with my book there. So I forgot all about the book launch challenges I was having and just was really in the moment. And it ended up beautiful. So I get off stage and they say, okay, we're going to take you out front and we'll let the attendees out. By the time I got out front, there was a line.

There was over a thousand people there in line. waiting to see me. They all had my book, and they wanted a signature and a picture. And it was incredible. So I sat there by myself signing books for over three hours. And I'll tell you, it was so fun for me. And people kept saying, oh, my gosh, your poor hand, oh, my gosh, you must be so tired. But you don't work for two years to write a book just to write it. You work for that moment, right, to know you're getting to meet these people and touch these people and, you know, hopefully impart your message and teachings and learnings for them. And it was just to some people were crying. Like it was just such an moving, unbelievable experience. And I was so incredibly

grateful, grateful, grateful for it. That's all I can tell you about that. Totally grateful. So excited. And then after I was done, I was walking out and I saw a couple of people sitting in the lobby area, reading my books just sitting there alone reading. And some of the people in line read my book in line and were like, oh, I'm three chapters in already because they had plenty of time while they were standing in that crazy line. So it was just this unbelievable experience, and I was so grateful for it and so proud of the speech that I gave and so proud of my book and seeing it in real life. And it was just, it was like really incredible. Okay, cut to, by the time I got out there, it was too late to leave. I had to leave in the morning.

I fly home on Sunday and now I'm ready to get into book launch week, right? Because it was happening on the 16th. So Monday was just full of me reaching out to every single person and every company I know, trying to get them to pull the trigger on those last minute book sales. Did you put the bulk order in? Can you send the email out this week to promote it? Can you post on social media? I had my VIP book launch team meeting trying to encourage everybody on my team.

Please post up. Please ask people to promote the book. And then my son had his first game. And it was so cool. One of the things that has happened, my son has different coaches this year than he did last year. And this new coaching staff takes it really seriously, which it's so interesting to see how that impacts another person in that my son came home and he had a sizzle reel after his game of him and his highlights in the game. And it was so professionally done and so cool. And to see the confidence that that gave. him to see how special that made him feel just reminded me that we all have that potential, right? We can all make people feel really special. It might be a little bit more work. I'm sure these guys are putting a lot more work in, you know, creating these sizzle reels for the kids, but wow, did it put, you know, a big smile on his face? And then they posted about him on social media, on their social media handle. And that was just like, you know, the cherry on top.

It was, wow, to be recognized in that regard for his hard work and his athleticism and his passion for the game. It was just so cool. So just never underestimate when sometimes you get to put a little bit of work in to do something special for someone, but it can make such a difference in how they feel about themselves and how they show up, right? We can all impact that, which I thought was so cool. When you want more, start your business with Northwest Registered Agent and get access to thousands of free guides, tools, and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business. All in one place. Build your complete business identity with Northwest today. Northwest Agents has been helping small business owners and entrepreneurs launch and grow businesses for nearly 30 years.

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But similar setup to what I did, you know, camera back right is where thousands of people are and then you could see where the audience was in front of you. So the second time you do anything, it gets easier, right? So I was definitely familiar with speaking to the camera and to the audience, which was great. And that went really well. I stayed after we did a book signing of my first Miami book signing, which was super exciting. Then I rushed back home to start doing my back-to-back zooms to promote the book, right? So the more audience you can reach, the more people you can touch, the more books you can sell. And so that's really been my strategy in this weird hybrid world.

Then I got a call from a news station that was looking at potentially working with me to be a contributor. I mean, there was just so many random crazy things happening this week. It was intense. Okay. So then on Wednesday, I had this really big live streaming webinar that I was doing. I was doing Kim Gravelle's show. She's a new podcast, and she had me on as a guest. And then I had this really big book launch event that we had worked on for weeks, myself and

10 other friends and people supporting me on LinkedIn. And I'll tell you, this is just one of those examples of you work so hard, you tap so many people, bring a lot of people in. And it just doesn't end up having the kind of reach that you think you're going to have, right? So a lot of people donated their time and showed up and worked on this. And I think we ended up, maybe we had five or six hundred people that showed up. So the return on it wasn't really worth it. But what was cool was I had these 10 friends that showed up for me and donated their evenings

to be there instead of being at home with their family and sharing their beautiful stories about overcoming adversity and overcoming the villains in their life and how they did it. And it was this beautiful event that was so, you know, we made so many mistakes along the way. we did not connect people's streams properly. Like there was a lot of fumbles and flops, but it was an amazing event. I'm super proud of it. But again, these are the things that you live and learn and keep testing and trying to see what will work and what doesn't.

Thursday, I had more virtual events all day long and some new partnership meetings, which was really cool. And then Friday, I had more virtual events back to back so much so on two of them on Friday. One was Accenture Google. And the other one was the third. Southern Realtor Association in California. I was logging on and just looking at notes saying, who am I logging on for right now? And the problem is, when you get this busy, you're going to drop balls, right? Of course. But however, you know, it's for a finite period of time. It's not forever. It's not

going to be like this forever. It's finite. It's book launch week. You want to make an impact. I had split the numbers of the book, so I had to crush it in this new week, right, to try to find a way to make these bestseller lists, because when you do that, then your publisher really starts to spend money behind you and become invested because they see you're invested, right? So that's the whole game here is to get the dominoes to start moving. You have to be the one to launch it first in order to get that momentum behind you. And so I'm looking at my notes trying to remember from weeks ago when I met with these clients, okay, who's the audience I'm speaking to? What is my ultimate goal? How much time am I speaking for. And it was hysterical for the Southern California realtors, what I got on that call.

The way they had it set up, I could not see anybody. I only saw my own face. And I was so bummed out about that. I had to start making some jokes. Anyway, it ended up going great. All the books arrived. They all had them. The unfortunate part is I'm not there to sign them, but at least we were there via Zoom, which ended up being, it was a great event. It was a lot of fun. So it was a crazy, crazy, tense week, just all over the place. Overall, I think it went well. I mean, we'll find out with the numbers, but the feedback's been great. And I'll tell you, if you have not, please check out the reviews of my book, Overcome Your Villains. They're amazing. And if you have read the book, if you could please leave a review, it would mean the world to me, because we live in a review

and recommendation world, right, where people want to see the reviews. They want to know what they're buying before they buy it. So I want to read you one of the reviews that I am just over the moon about. Okay, here we go. In a world full of embellished social media profiles, fake news, Instagram filters, and people who are filthy, rich, and infinitely famous for contributing absolutely nothing to the world, it's hard to distinguish what's real anymore. That's just one of the reasons why Heather Monaghan's voice is so refreshing, relevant, and relatable right now. She approaches overcome your villains, much like her last book, with an astonishing amount of humility, humbleness, candor, and connection to the audience. Monaghan isn't trying to put on a facade.

Instead, she introduces her beliefs, actions, and knowledge formula by exposing moments from her past that most of us would never dare to publicly address. Yet, she does so in a way, which doesn't make her a victim and doesn't try to establish herself as a savior. In contrast to a villain, you come out of this experience with Heather believing that she is your champion and the kind of person you'd love to be your best friend. More importantly, she demonstrates the importance of self-respect, self-love, and owning your own destiny. For many of us, yours truly included, the memories of villains past and present are painful ones. The truly debilitating realization, however, comes when you discover that your most influential villain is yourself. But just like the best friend we've always hoped for, Heather isn't going to let us wallow in our self-pity.

Instead, she calls for quick and decisive action. Yes, unfair things happen to good people. And there are times when it looks like the sociopaths rule the world. But Monaghan empowers us to turn the tables on self-limiting beliefs and our antagonists, thereby taking back our power and becoming the best, most real version of ourselves, we can be. And there is really nothing more meaningful in life than that. Thank you, Heather, Natalie Van Enron. So I'm so grateful for that review. I thought it was so beautiful, so well written, so thoughtful. And it means the world to me. So if you haven't bought Overcome Your Villains yet, you need to get it today.

The book is money. And I'm not seeing that just because I wrote it. I really, really love it. And it's really going to help you. It's going to help you overcome adversity and read frame this idea of being stuck or that you have to be somewhere or that you are a victim. Heck no, you are a victor and we are going to get you out of whatever difficult situation you're in. My three-step process is proven powerful. It works every time. It works all the time. And I can't wait to share it with you. Overcome your villains right now, live everywhere. And P.S., I even went to Barnes & Noble this weekend to visit my book to see if it was in there in the store because my first book was not. And yes.

It's there. Overcome Your Villains is everywhere you go. Amazon, it's Audible. And I narrate the audible. Oh, my gosh, the narration of the Audible is so flipping good. That's my favorite. And I know you're saying, why is she bragging so much about this book? I worked so hard on this thing. And I promise you, I deliver on this one. It was two years in the making, but you'll feel it when you hear it or when you read it. And I'm just so grateful for that. I'm so grateful. So we are in the holidays, people. This is an amazing gift for someone that you love. love, if you have someone in your life that you know isn't living up to their potential, please give them this gift, overcome your villains, and get them started down a new and better

path for 2022, where they can make some big change, make some big leaps, and just go bigger. Give the gift that keeps on giving. It's the gift of confidence, and it's in Overcome Your Villains. So I can't wait to hear what you think. If you've read the book, please leave a review. Reviews help so much. And if this show is helping you, please share it with one friend. And when you post about it, just tag me.

I will always reshare, comment, support, and get right back to you. So thank you for supporting me. Thank you for investing in overcome your villains. And most importantly, thank you for investing in you. Until next week, have an amazing holiday. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone listening on Thanksgiving week. Let's lead with some gratitude and let's lead with confidence. Until next week, I'll be creating my confidence and I know you'll be creating yours.

I'm gonna make them out