Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #182: Never Underestimate Your POWER With Heather!

Episode Date: January 12, 2022

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Believing in yourself  Letting go of negativity    Changing your mindset  Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  Releasing negativity can change your whole mindset. You always have YOU to fall back on, so don’t stress the small things! I’ll read you a chapter from my book, Confidence Creator to show you how to get to the next level in your most challenging moments. Focus on all the success you DO have and release the idea that things must happen as you planned them. When you rely on your own power and trust your intuition, it’s guaranteed to lift your spirits and bring you closer to your goals!  See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me today. So if things seems really unexpected to you right now, you are in my boat, right? right? I never anticipated my poor son having to go back on virtual school in 2022. However,

that has happened, right? That has been our last week, which is so crazy because it was my biggest fear for 2021, and it never happened then. It just goes to show you cannot plan for anything these days. Everything is up in the air. We'll put it that way. That's the new normal. We have no idea what's going to happen next, which is so bizarre. So I see. started thinking about how much things are just unexpected and not planned in this new year of 2022. And who knows what it has to bring? I truly have no idea. I'm sure there's going to be some great things and I'm sure there are going to be some not so great things. But I also know I really can't predict the way that I used to think back when I was in corporate America. I always

thought, I'm in this well-lit space and I know what's going to happen next. I know what happens in Q1 and our planning and our pacings. And I know that we've got this big annual meeting in Q2. And I know up front, you know, I thought because I had been in one industry for so long, and I had been in one industry for so long, that I could just forecast everything. And so everything seemed planned out and methodical and like a well-lit arena that I could see everything. And now it's the complete opposite. But I also know I was fooling my. myself, right? Because none of us can predict what's going to happen tomorrow or next quarter. And for sure, the pandemic has made that incredibly clear if we didn't recognize it prior to the pandemic

hitting, which is so funny. This is on the whole vibe of the pandemic. I had someone reach out to me in 2019 to pitch me to speak for an event in Italy. It was going to be my first international speaking event, you know, big speaking event. And we worked out in agreement in December. December or November of 2019, and the event was scheduled for 2020. Of course, that event ended up getting postponed to 2021. Of course, in 2021, it was postponed until 2022. And what's so crazy, funny, and ironic is that today I had a call with the woman who booked me back in 2019 for an event in 2020, and she is trying to pull the trigger on my plane tickets for 2022 now. Because I'm so jaded by the past couple of years, I said to her, are you sure you want to pull the trigger on the tickets

right now, or do you think we should wait? I mean, my son's back in virtual school, and we really don't know what tomorrow brings. And she was really taken aback by that and said, no, we are having this event, 2022. Things are opening back up. I'm putting it out into the universe, Heather. There is no what ifs. So I said, okay. But that definitely has not been my life lately, but I hope you are right. hope everything is opening back up and going well and that we don't have to keep canceling things. But we will see because one thing I know for sure, I am no longer in a well-lit arena where I can forecast anything. So it was funny. This week has been very different because my poor son has been back on virtual with no sports. And one morning I just thought to myself,

I'm not showing up as the best version of myself today. I'm frustrated and, you know, know, struggling, I've got to go to spin. And so I said, that's it. I'm just going to work out always makes me feel better, makes me happy, and takes me out of that headspace when I'm in a funk. I don't know if you feel the same way, but the next time you're feeling low, go outside, go for a walk, go for a run, you know, do some type of a workout that will lift your spirits. It literally can change your day. And that's what happened for me is I jumped in the car. I said, I'll be back in an hour. And I jumped in the car and I head over to my spin class. And on this day, I think it was on Tuesday, my favorite instructor teaches the 8.30 a.m. class.

And I was so excited to see her because she's very positive and uplifting. And I needed that right. I was just kind of down and discouraged. And I walked in and she was not there. Have you ever had that happen? You're certain, you know, this person's going to be there and you're excited for it. And they are nowhere to be found. And I thought, oh, my gosh, who's that weird looking guy sitting in where the Instructors sit, some hippie-ish-looking guy that I've never seen before. I don't know. And immediately, my mind went to negative zone.

I thought, oh, this is great. You've got to be kidding me. The one thing I was looking forward to today, I needed this to pick my spirits up. And my number one instructor's not here. So I started saying, okay, just get through the next 45 minutes. You're going to get a workout in. That's a positive. You're doing something good for yourself. Hopefully he doesn't play bad music. That's really, I just completely lowered the expectations on this potentially amazing workout, what was supposed to be, to now I was downgrading it to just get through it. And it was funny, he did everything differently than the regular instructors, right? He didn't put the music on first. He was saying, hello, is anyone there? And he was very different.

He was a New York instructor who happened to be on vacation in Miami and was coming to teach. And so I was just not even looking at him. I was just looking off in space because we're on a rooftop, which is so beautiful, as I've mentioned before, and I can just look off, you know, at this beautiful view, which is amazing. So I was doing that. And then all of a sudden he starts talking about how grateful he is to be in Miami. And holy cow, how incredible it is to be on a rooftop in Miami looking at this view.

And he's saying, aren't you all so grateful for this opportunity in this moment right now? It's amazing. And it really made me think that I take for great. granted, you know, just even the past few weeks that I've been able to do this. And I so love it. And that immediately lifted my spirits. And I really was thinking, gosh, this is something to be so grateful for. So I don't know what it is in your life right now that you can think of that you could feel really grateful for. Maybe it's your health, right? Maybe it's your family. Maybe it's your pet. Maybe it's you and me hanging out here right now, right? So it could be

anything, but just focus on one thing you could be grateful for. And that will lift your spirits. It definitely lifted mine, and I could feel my negative mood start to shift, even though I had downgraded this guy in a big, big way, unbeknownst to me, that was about to change, because again, it's 2022 and nothing is predictable. So he starts class, and I don't like the music he's firing up, and it's really just intense, not my vibe at all. And I think, oh, great, just what I didn't want bad music. Okay, Heather, just get through it. Hopefully he'll talk more about gratitude.

So the guy starts telling us about his life and all the struggles he's overcome. And I am a sucker for a good story. I don't know if you're the same way, but someone can pull me in with a great story. And he did. And so that I'm forgetting I'm even working out, right? But we're working out. I'm forgetting about the awful music, which I couldn't stay in. And I've forgotten that my favorite instructor was not there.

And he's pulling me in. And then he's got us, right? It's like a song in. You could just, the energy shifted. Everyone starts yelling. And when the energy changes, you know, one person can truly impact people so quickly. One person can not only change your energy, but your day. It just really can hit you in a big way.

And it was just so clear to me in that whatever 10-minute window or a five-minute window, he had impacted everyone so powerfully that the whole energy shifted. And it was just exciting to see. And I'm sure you know someone like that that can. just come in and have that positive impact really quickly. And it was this guy. And so he's got everybody in and now he starts talking about how grateful he is for each one of us and how he's sick of the super spreader conversation. So he's going to be a super spreader of love, which I thought was so cute. And, you know, just went on and on about gratitude and loving everyone and, you know,

bringing more good into the world and letting go of negativity and focusing on what we have. And just reminding me of all those basics, right? It was totally unexpected because I didn't know the guy, but I ended up, I was screaming my head off for him. I had the greatest class, and before the end, it was clear to me this man had completely changed my day, completely changed my mindset and my energy, and I was incredibly grateful for him. So I left there feeling like on top of the world, and I started thinking to myself what other times or people in my life have had an impact like this. And two came to mind right away. One was Elvis Duran.

As you know, four years ago, I was very unexpectedly fired. And when that happened, I put a post up on social media, which landed me on the Elvis Duran show. And halfway through that show, he spoke this truth and this conviction into me that was so powerful. It completely changed the trajectory of my business and my life. He said to me halfway through that interview, well, Heather, obviously you're right. writing a book, but I wasn't writing a book, right? I'd always seen my sister as the smart one, and I was the social one, and I belonged in corporate, in sales leadership, and that's my lane, and that's where I belonged. And I just believed it so strongly, and I really don't know why,

but when he spoke this truth and conviction and passion and confidence into me, it made me realize what potentially could be possible for me. And I thought, I'm going to run with this. I'm going to take this gift that this man is giving me, this truth he is speaking into me. I'm going to Google how to write a book. I'm going to jump on that plane and head back to Miami, and I'm going to do it. And that's truly what happened. When you want more, start your business with Northwest Registered Agent and get access to thousands of free guides, tools, and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business. All in one place.

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That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash confidence to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince. So just never underestimate the power that you have to impact another person's life. You can truly change the trajectory of their day, their life, their career by speaking your truth and power into them. Just don't ever underestimate that because right now people need that more than ever. Okay, so that was one of the big ones that stuck out to me. And then another one that was more recent.

And if you've been with me for the last couple of months, you definitely heard an episode I did about this, but Tim's story had become a friend of mine during the pandemic. We had never met in real life, but I had had him my podcast a few times. He had done some stuff with my coaching programs. He did an endorsement for my new book. He's just amazing. And I'm a huge fan of his and just really care about him a lot. He ended up headlining an event I was speaking at in November of 2021.

And we got to meet in real life. And not only do we get to meet in real life, but he had just flown in from Spain. he was going to head to his hotel room to take a nap. And when he found out I was going on at four, he didn't take the nap, stayed up, watched me speak, cheered me on publicly in front of everyone. And then he went back to bed, came down and gave his speech, which I stayed for, of course. He closed out the event. And after that, we went up to the 25th floor to the speakers area.

And he sat with me for a while and gave me some really strong tactical tips and advice and direction, and it was the first time since I have been out on my own that someone who's really light years ahead of me has sat and given me constructive feedback to get better. And it was so cool. And I'll tell you, my next speaking engagement, which was a couple of weeks after that one, I implemented the tweaks that he had shared with me that he thought would help me. And I got a standing ovation. And it was a really powerful speech. And I know that's because of the things, the truth that he spoke into me. He told me, he said, that magic that you see within me, it resides within you too, and I see it.

You know, he spoke this truth into me that was so powerful and made me feel so special. And I was just so grateful when I left him. So he's another person that's really changed what I used to think was possible for me and expanded it so massively that it feels limitless right now. And that he put me on par with him was just, you know, it was a, a, a, that was a magic moment for me. That really changed how I saw my speaking business and career going in a really, really powerful way. So don't underestimate you can have such an impact on other people. Don't hold back when you have that feeling or that sense that you want to share something

with them and speak a truth into them. Do it. It can change everything for them. Or they could just be having a bad day. And like that spin instructor, he completely turned my day around on a dime. So you don't have to be the most global speaker that's best friends with Oprah Winfrey like Tim's story is. You can be the spin instructor and you can say, you know what? I'm going to bring my energy and my heat and my goodness and super spreader love to this class. And I'm going to impact these people in a positive way. So I hope you do that today. Okay, so there was one other person that came to mind.

This is so funny. If you haven't heard this story yet, I can't wait to tell you. There was another person that impacted my life in a really powerful way. and this is a few years ago. But when I was driving away from spin class that day, and I thought about Elvis immediately, and secondly, I thought of Tim's story. Then thirdly, I thought of Taylor Swift. So if you haven't heard this story yet, I'm going to go ahead and read it.

It's a super short chapter in my first book, Confidence Creator, which if you have not read Confidence Creator yet, are you kidding me? First of all, get the Audible. Always get my audibles. My audible on Overcome Your Villains is incredible. And I'm seeing that with the most humility possible. My producer and I worked super hard at it. We're really good friends.

He produced my first book, Confidence Creator. He produced Overcome Your Villains. We go back decades in the radio business. I trust him, love him. Shout out Scotty. This Audible book, I know it. It's going to become an editor's pick on Audible. It's that good.

If you haven't heard it yet, you have to. But I'm not talking about that today. I'm talking about Confidence Creator. And really this chapter, I just wanted to share this with you because she was the third person that popped into my mind when I thought, who are these special people I've had in my life that have really changed my life in, you know, whether it be challenging moments or in ways to get to the next level. So here we go, Confidence Creator by Heather Monaghan, chapter 16, entitled Karma. In the end, I believe that people get what they deserve. It may not seem like it sometimes,

and you don't want to sit around and wait for others to fight your battles for you. but sometimes the universe has a weird way of working itself out. Okay, sidebar, I totally and completely believe that. I don't know if you agree, but I've seen it. Karma's worked its magic a few times in my life. I bet you've seen it too. Okay, back to the story. I had just been named the VP of Sales at a radio company,

so I was riding high and feeling proud about my recent accomplishments going into the company's annual awards night. Part of the event was a roast. That was my first year at the company awards night, so I had no idea what I was in for. But I was warned about an employee named Tommy, well, we'll call him Tommy, who would roast other employees. I didn't know Tommy, and I couldn't imagine why he would attack me, so I just didn't think much of it. Being the youngest member of the leadership team, I was both excited and a little nervous about the event. But I showed up smiling.

Then Tommy took aim at me. During his routine, he called me the new VP of cleavage. I thought the comment was beyond inappropriate. I was crushed. I was mortified. People were laughing. And I did my best to muster a laugh because I thought that was the best way to handle the situation. But boy, was I wrong. I was not throwing a bucket of water on my villain. I let the water get thrown on me. My confidence hit rock bottom. I struggled not to cry, and I had to excuse myself from the table. I went to the ladies' room where I broke down in tears. Afterward, I called my old boss, who was one of my biggest supporters and fans, I told him what happened. He encouraged me. He went so far to say I should sue Tommy. He told me to quit. He said we'd figure something else out. More importantly, he had my back. The following week, I let my boss know that I had a problem with what happened and didn't want to be involved in a roast like that again. It wasn't supportive, it was hurtful, and I deserved better. That was something I needed to do.

Speaking our truths and standing up for ourselves allows that confidence muscle to grow again. My boss listened to me, and Tommy never took aim at me again. What goes around comes around. A few years later, I found myself sitting through, yet again, another awards meeting, complete with another roast. Tommy got up and did his thing. But he made sure to avoid saying anything about me because he had been told I was off limits. Tommy never considered that at one point, someone might roast him. That night, we had invited a guest performer looking to break into the radio industry to serve as our entertainment. that performer turned out to be a very young Taylor Swift.

And she was sitting at my table with her mother. A couple of minutes into the roast, she leaned over to me and she said, Are you kidding me? This guy gets away with trashing everyone else? She was horrified. Before I could respond to her, she jumped up and ran out the door. I thought she left because she didn't want to listen anymore. But she returned 10 minutes later after speaking with other employees

and getting dirt on Tommy. She used that as ammo to roast him through a song she performed on stage. Taylor Swift won my heart that day. And she definitely threw that bucket of water on Tommy that I never did. We are all in control of our own destiny and responsible for our own success.

But if we stay the course and do the right thing, every once in a while, karma will have our backs. Here's to me hoping karma has your back in 2022 and that we all have this unpredictable yet exciting ride. There's going to be a lot of great things to come, like amazing people, like Taylor Swift showing up and supporting us out of nowhere. And there's going to be some challenges ahead. But if you use the back process from my new book, Overcome Your Villains, you will be sure to overcome and leapfrog those villains and stay on your path to pursuing your goals and your potential, which is limitless, infinite, and forever expanding.

And don't forget, what is possible for you is always changing and growing to. Each day we show up, we are learning more, going for more, and creating more confidence within ourselves. I'm so grateful you're here creating your confidence with me. If you could please share this episode. If you like it, if you're digging what I'm putting down, share this one so I know so I can create more content that you like and keep and hope to bring your energy up, to give you more, and to be there because I've got your back. I know you've got mine.

Until next week, keep creating your confidence.