Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #196: Discover YOUR Perfect Balance With Heather!

Episode Date: March 2, 2022

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Making time for YOU  How to step away from negativity  Finding balance through it all  Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  Finding a work balance is SO important. You can’t do your best work if you aren’t taking time for yourself. When you can relax and enjoy life, that is when your BEST ideas will come. You are in charge of your own destiny! Remember to take time to step away from the mess so you can return with a clear mind. We can all create abundance for ourselves! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me today. So, gosh, a lot happening in the world. I don't know if you are feeling this heaviness with, I can't even believe I'm saying this,

it's 2022 and we're talking about war. It seems so insane to me. I can't even fathom that technology is so advanced. People are just so much more open. And I thought evolved. I thought that I don't even know what I thought. I just can't believe there's a war happening right now. And these poor people in Ukraine are separated from their families and losing lives and homes being blown up. It's horrific. and I just, I'm at a loss of words. I don't even know what to say. I can't believe that this situation is happening in our world, in our life. And it's so crazy. We just live through a global pandemic and the whole world is just trying to get back on their feet and move things forward and create some sense of normalcy. And now Putin starts a war.

I have no words. I'm so sad for everyone in our world. I just am so sad for everyone. This is just horrible, and I'm praying that the right people are able to get this shut down and shut Russia down. This is just, I just have no words. I'm just praying for everybody. And I hope you are to totally believe in the power of prayer. And there's so much information and data and science behind the power of prayer and the impact it can have. So don't think that your prayers aren't noticed or don't have an impact.

They do. And hopefully you can say a prayer for everyone and peace in our world and safety for people. Freedom is something I just always have taken for granted. And really the last couple of days have just made me think so much about, you know, the pandemic taught me that anything can happen at any point in time. We have no control, never did, never will. And then this is just a further reminder of that, that, you know, you can be doing the best job that you can in your life and controlling the

things you can control and something so insane can happen. And it's just, I have no words. Okay. So definitely prayers for Ukraine, prayers for everyone and prayers for peace for sure. So this is an interesting week for me. My son was on vacation for the week. And, you know, we didn't really have any plans. And I'm really big into, you know, I'm definitely not perfect. I make a lot of And one of the things that I've probably done wrong or could have done better or am trying to work on now is sometimes I just work too much, right? Because I always believe in revenue fixes all problems and accelerating revenue and leaning into work. And I typically really like what I do. So, right? So it's not like I don't want to do it. And sometimes I get obsessed with it, right? Like a maniac,

especially after getting fired and not knowing what I was going to do and not knowing, you know, not having that track record or forecast or pipeline, it was really nerve-wracking for me. You know, it still is because I, I'm just a rookie entrepreneur trying to figure out, you know, what the right things are to work on, who the right people are to partner with, you know, should I have partners? Should I have more products? Should I lean in more to my speaking? Should I write another book? Should I do more podcast? I'm sure you feel like this sometimes, too. It's hard to know where are the right places to invest your time when your time is your most valuable thing. Well, I've been reading more and more about this idea that working all the time is not good and it's actually hindering you. And so,

anyhow, I made a decision that I would work Monday and Friday and that I would not work Tuesday, Wednesday, or Thursday this week and just spend time with my son doing fun things. And I asked God, I was like, God, I don't know what we're going to do, but please just deliver me a miracle. I don't know what it's going to be. And it's so crazy because a number of things happen, some good, some not so good. But, you know, we actually had a super fun week. I don't know. like people say, when you go off and enjoy life, you'll see abundance will come to you. I don't know if that's happening, right? I haven't seen it yet. I'll keep you updated if I do, but we did definitely have a fun time. And the older I get, the more I realize life, like the meaning of life, what you're

really supposed to do, like what life is all about is about joy. Life is about spending moments with people that you love and creating experiences. And life is about reaching and striving for your potential to do good in the world and like finding your purpose. in impacting the planet and the earth and the world with whatever special gifts you've been given. And I feel really grateful at 47. I know what my purpose and my mission is. That's crystal clear to me. Like I am so clear, and I have to be, you know, thankful for getting fired for finding that

and stepping into the work that I do now. But, you know, it's just sometimes I struggle with that idea that it's about really just, you know, relaxing into finding joy and these moments because this underlying, regular me or 1.0 version of me wants to always be working super hard to create revenue. So I toggle back and forth with, right, like what is the right thing to do? Anyhow, so Monday and Friday I worked and then Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday took off. And it ended up being great. One of a dear friend of mine from home from Massachusetts came down unexpectedly with her son,

who's the same age as my son. And we got to hang out with them and had the greatest time I hadn't seen her since 2019. It was so fun. And we just had just a great time, totally unexpected, out of nowhere, and just serendipitous how it all worked out. My other good friend from home came down with his daughter, who's a save age as vice side, and he got a yacht for a day. And he had his mother there and another good friend who I hadn't seen in years. And this was crazy. It just all came out of left field.

And so we had such a great time that day. It was what an amazing experience to be out on the water. I live in Miami, but, you know, most of the time I'm inside, thanks to virtual world. And it was just such a great reminder of, you know, how beautiful everything is and the gratitude I have to live where I live and be able to do fun, amazing things like this. It was just, it was so cool. And my son had such a great time. And then we went away to one of our favorite hotels for one night just to give ourselves,

like, that vacation vibe. And it was a lot of fun. I'll keep you updated on if it pays off, if what some people tell me, my good friend, Gina, who I had on the show, you know, gave me a long lecture. on the show, on the podcast, about the need to really relax into things and enjoy and watch when you do that. That's when your best ideas will come, and that's when abundance will come to you. So I will keep you updated on that. And to that end, I have another girlfriend, another good friend of mine who lives here, who's really been on this journey about she's trying to find out what

her purpose is in life and, you know, what her special work is she's supposed to be doing and what does that look like? And I don't know if you're struggling with that right now, but I do know a lot of people are. I know I did for years, but I was never going to figure it out if I didn't leave the bad situation I was in. That I'm clear on, right? So if you are in a bad situation, it's kind of hard to start seeing what that right opportunity is because you're so dragged down in the negativity and your energy and your creativity is pulled out of you and you're kind of just trying to survive. So it's hard to thrive. It's hard to foresee and create that vision when you're in that negativity. This is why I wrote, Overcoming Your Villains, right? It's all about how to get

away from that negativity enough so that you can get that space for yourself to say, okay, what is my life's work? What is my passion? Like, what am I, who are the people I'm supposed to be rolling with here? Because I'm not with the right ones right now in this situation or in this instance. And how can I reshape this? And how can I re-imagined it? Like, what can this look like? And so, again, I go back to getting fired was that big redirection for me and that blessing to find my life's work, my mission, my passion. And so as I mentioned, I have a really good friend who's kind of going through that same phase in her life right now, which I think so many of us do. And she's been big into, she wants to try new and different things, which is super smart, right?

If you're not getting the answer to whatever big question you have, doing the same things and asking the same people and going through the same processes, it's time to try different things. makes all the sense in the world. And I remember when I was looking for my purpose and passion, my mentor said to me, you need to do something that you're completely uncomfortable with, that you don't want to do, that you're resisting doing, because when you find that thing, that will help you unlock, you know, what it is you're looking for. And so it ended up being, you know, he posed the question to me, which is great. And if this is something you want to work on, pose a question to yourself, what is something that makes you really uncomfortable or

that you really don't want to do and force yourself to do? And force yourself to do it. do it, you know? And a lot of times that's just holding yourself accountable. I tapped a friend. My thing was I didn't want to do this stand-up comedy class. I thought it was ridiculous. And why would I do that? What a waste of my time and blah, blah. I was coming with every reason why. I shouldn't do it. And so finally a friend called me out and said, gosh, you're really against us. What's wrong with you? And I thought, oh my gosh, this is, I'm resisting it. Okay, I have to do it. So I grabbed a girlfriend. I said, let's go. We're going to go do this together. And we did. But what was so interesting is, and this is years ago now, probably a decade ago,

one night when we got there, they said, okay, everyone, you know, you're going to take turns, get up on stage, you have to speak for seven minutes, and you can talk about anything, and then we're going to give you feedback. And so when I got up, I was, you know, going on and on, who knows what I was talking about? I don't even remember. But I always knew that I could just talk, you know, I had been doing this in sales and sales leadership my whole life. You know, you just get up and you have to speak in front of audience.

of people. And so I had become not only competent at it, but very confident in myself when I was speaking. And so it was so funny because when I got off, they were like, oh my gosh, that was amazing. You're a natural blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I thought, oh, I am. And it's one of those things that you just assume, and we all do this. Whatever you're really great at, whatever's so special and unique about you, you probably assume everybody has that same power. Or it's not that big of a deal. I definitely did. I never thought twice about it because to me I thought it's just like part of my job, whatever. Who cares if I can speak?

It didn't seem to bring any value to me that I could first. I just, again, I was back in a negative situation. I wasn't seeing things clearly. Well, that night, I'll never forget when I left there that night, remembering to myself, okay, they just pointed this out. This is special, unique, and different. Other people don't have this talent. This is something I was given from God a gift.

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that I was going to launch a podcast, that I was going to start writing books. I didn't know those things, but just posing the question was step one. And then two, stepping into really uncomfortable, fearful situations that I was resisting. That was the next step. And then observing and acknowledging and receiving that positive feedback, right? Instead of brushing it off like, oh, no, no big deal. I said, oh, my gosh, thank you for saying that. and opening my eyes to this gift that I've been given.

And then I would occasionally think about it, right? It wasn't like this overnight change. I didn't figure it all out overnight, but I just started thinking, gosh, the speaking thing. I've got to try to find ways for me to speak more and in different venues and arenas. And that's when I got really into charity work. And I was on the board of a charity here in Miami. And they started having me headline different events. And I started speaking all.

But again, I put it out there. It's all, this is process. It doesn't just happen overnight. And all that process, you know, from a decade ago, led to when I got fired, writing the book, Confidence Creator, and then Googling, how do you sell books? And it said, speak. And I thought, oh, I'm great at that. No problem.

But again, I didn't know it was a business, right? I didn't know. I didn't have all these answers. It was just like one stepping in the dark, leading to the next step in the dark, leading to the next to who knows. And that's, to me, what's exciting about today, tomorrow and beyond is that, As long as we keep getting up and just moving forward, making messy action and taking steps, not knowing what's to come, we have no idea what's ahead of us. And that is so flipping, exciting, right? So it's finding that certainty in the uncertainty, which is exciting, right?

Oh my gosh, I can't wait to get up tomorrow. I have no idea what's about to happen, which is the complete opposite of how I felt back in corporate America. I thought everything, I was in this well-lit arena, and I absolutely know the next thing that's going to happen. And this is guaranteed and this is guaranteed. And I never felt that excitement of, of that possibility like I do now. But of course, there's moments where it's scary, right? Like this unknown is still scary. And I toggle back and forth with that. But I try to lean into, there's a fine line between fear and excitement. I'm leaning towards excitement. I hope you are leaning with me. I highly suggest it. Okay. So, oh, one of the, I was working this week with one of my one-on-one

coaching clients. It was interesting. She's sitting there with me. She has all the answer. She's so smart. She's such a talented person. But when I'm working with her, I see she just doubts herself and second guesses herself so much. Here's what I want everyone to know. I've been there. I've done that. Everybody's been there and done that. But the key, the answer, is to push through with messy action. You don't have to have a business plan built out. You don't have to spend thousands of dollars on something like to tell you what to do. You know, you have to take messy action and just keep pushing yourself through those times where you do feel full of doubt. I certainly felt full of doubt for a long time, you know, after getting fired and moving into that unknown and the pandemic

and all of this. And it's so crazy because I was just reminded, plant a seed, there's no way for you to know how soon it's going to materialize. We hope it will and we hope someday it will, but we don't know exactly when. And an example of that is back in 2019, I was in Boston speaking for the Drift Marketing Sales and Marketing Conference. I was interviewing Sarah Blakely and her husband, Jesse Itzler, live on stage. And I remember saying to myself, this is an opportunity for me to check in with a speaker bureau that happens to be headquartered in Boston. It was going to be a pain, right? I wasn't going to be able to spend the day with my friends or do the things that maybe I would have wanted to do. But I thought it's probably a good idea.

get to do it. So I spent the day going over, meeting their entire team, sitting one-on-one with all the key players, and I got up and did a speech for them while I was there so that they would, you know, gain some insight into who I am, and just thought that would help make me more real to them and create that personal connection, trust. And so they would want to start pitching me. Well, of course, then, the pandemic hit and everything kind of went dark for a while. But wouldn't you know, out of the blue this week, I got an email from one of the speaker agents who I met who saw me speak when I came to their offices. And he said, Heather, haven't heard from you in a while, hope you're well, listen, I've got a client. I just think you're going to be the right fit. And so I'm pitching

you. I'm going on. Anyways, he ended up securing the deal and getting the deal done. And it was one of those moments. I thought, you know, we do plant these seats. We don't know if they're ever going to pay off or not. Gosh knows, you know, I have my partnership with Perry Ellis International. I spent so much time on and that fell apart. I had a skincare line I was working on for a year. That fell apart, right? A lot of things I've worked on that haven't materialized yet, right? I mean, they may in the future. I don't know if they will. But I do know the key is to keep stepping into what seems right at the right time, doing that next right thing and planting those seeds in various places. And I recently had Chris Harder on the podcast. You haven't heard it yet. The episode hasn't come out. But he does a lot of

work with people around the way they think in regards to money. And I just signed up for his text program, which when I do the episode with him, you'll hear about and you can sign up for it too. It's amazing. And so I've been getting these daily texts from him talking about our relationship with money. And one day last week, he sent a text that said something like this. Don't think you know where money has to come from. Money can come from seeds planted years ago, ideas you had years ago, friendships you had years ago, acquaintances you made years ago. It doesn't have to come from the one thing you think it's coming from. Money can come from anything, anywhere, any time. That's the beauty of abundance. And I really sat with that for a while and started thinking, you know, it doesn't matter

that I wrote Confidence Creator in 2018, that book could go viral tomorrow and make me million. Right. Like, who's to say that it can't? No one is to say that. You never know where that next opportunity will come from. We can't just dictate that all my revenue will come from these two sources and here. That's how I've always thought. I always thought it had to be that way.

But that text he sent really opened my eyes to anything's possible. It can come from anywhere. and I can't be forcing things. I can just keep showing up as my best self and being open to receiving where these things come from, you know, with a positive attitude. So it was kind of crazy and it made me realize even my board seat, right, that would have never happened had the pandemic not hit. And here I was saying I can't stand the pandemic and I had to do, you know, these group

coachings and I didn't know what I was doing. But that's how I met my friend that ended up nominate me to the board of directors of HealthLink. So I wouldn't have landed that position if it hadn't been for this whole crazy situation. So you never know what seeds you're planting today and what those can grow into and the abundance and opportunity it can bring into your life. That's what's so exciting about today. And tomorrow is, you know, stepping into that possibility of who knows what we're creating right now and who knows when we started creating it. It could have been years ago and we just had no idea.

So plant those seeds. Stop at the marketing agency when you're in the city and make a pitch and shake their hands and speak to them because you never know a couple years later, they might have a chance to pitch you. And they're going to say, oh, I met her. I know who she is. No, I can vouch for her. She's great. You know, I just, I thought that once the pandemic hit, all that stuff just went away and it didn't. So those seeds that you planted years and years ago, maybe now is their time that they're coming to They're coming to abundance, and they're going to bring opportunity into your life just when you least expect it. That's my new angle on money and abundance and what is possible. So I hope that you consider that for you. Okay. So, oh, this is crazy. March is shaping up to be my biggest speaking engagement month yet, which is kind of weird because, you know, I started this whole thing. I think it was 2019 when I was officially a public speaker, whatever that is, and started getting

represented by agents and whatnot. But this whole weird virtual world, right now I'm in a virtual world, everything I have on my books that I'm secured for is for virtual events, which is not my favorite. Right. I prefer to be in person with people shaking hands and high-fiving, signing books for people after I'm done talking, like feeling the energy in the room. That's more my vibe. But I do have to look at the blessings of virtual in that I'm able to do multiple speaking engagements in one day, which is crazy. That had never been the case before when we were back in person and had to fly. And so for the month of March, I have more speaking engagements than I've ever had in any other given month just because of that gift of virtual. So anytime that we are dealing with something

that we see as negative, there's always a chance to see it also as something really positive. And I was on one of my speaking engagements for March is for Amazon women's group, all the female employees at Amazon. And I was doing one of my qualifying calls. I've had a few calls with them. This is going to be one of my biggest speaking engagements ever, which I'm so excited for. But one of the things that, you know, I ask is I'm always asking qualifying questions, right? I want to say, what's your ultimate goal for the event?

What is important for me to understand going into this about what? what you want to accomplish, explains me who your audience is, what are their pain points, how can I most impact them in a positive way, how can I support them the best, what problem do they need to have solved? You know, I want to understand what I'm walking into. And then at the end of the call, I said, I want to know about culture for the company. And let's talk a little bit about culture and from anything from, you know, what you wear, to how you speak, to a word choice. And when she started mentioning how many different countries would be on the call, it really blew my mind. And then we had the talk around word choices when it comes to inclusion, which is this really kind of new, right?

I mean, pronouns and whatnot. And I said, just set me up, what are the words I should use? And any words I shouldn't use, that would be helpful. And, you know, we're at this point now where a lot of people don't want to be called a woman or a man or whatever. you know, whatever that is. Again, personal choice. I believe people should do whatever works for them, not here to judge, but I don't know a lot about this stuff. And so this woman was really cool. And she said, let's use this. People. Why don't we just say people? Why do we have to label everybody, a woman or a man? And she says, how about allies? How about friends? And so she just started talking in

these really bigger picture words that aren't so limiting, aren't so labeling. And I thought it was so cool. was super helpful for me. And now I can start applying that to all my talks, right? I don't have to label people. And again, this is something I'm learning. I never even knew to ask about the importance of inclusion and word choices before. It's like everything is constantly evolving and changing and growing. And that's a beautiful thing. And so I'm challenging you. You know, what word choices can you utilize now moving forward that can make people feel? more included that can make people feel more special or more seen because gosh knows with the heaviness in our world right now and what everyone's been through and is going through, people need to feel

loved. They need to feel special. They need to feel supported. And that's how I want you to feel. And the more we can show up that way, the more we can impact and help other people to feel that way, which will start a domino effect, which will make the world a better place. So the more money and abundance and success you have, the more you can give back and the more good work you can do. So this is, again, from Chris Harder's texting program that is super powerful. Definitely check it out. You can check them out on Instagram and sign up now, or you can wait until the episode comes out. Either way, whatever works for you. But he talks a lot about money is such a great thing because the more that we have and the more good people have money, the more good work we can

all be out there doing. And that's something that is really important right now. Right. So think about the possibilities, think about those opportunities, think about the seeds that you've planted, and be willing to receive all that abundance around the work you've already done and that possibility of how that abundance can show up today or tomorrow for you that's unexpected that you can't force, but that will happen. So I'm putting that good vibe out there for you today. I hope some exciting possibility and opportunity shows up. And tomorrow, I'm going with my friend who's looking for her purpose and passion to some really weird, strange, like manifesting, meditation. I don't even know what thing I'm going to, but I felt resistance around it.

And it reminded me of that stand-up comedy thing. And I thought, okay, I'm thinking she's nuts for wanting to go to this. I need to go to this. So I'm going. I have no idea what's going to happen. And I'll keep you updated. I'll let you know next week. I'm hopeful that something amazing and exciting is going to happen.

and there'll be some gifts, and hopefully for her, she can figure out, you know, what next step is the right one for her to finding her purpose and her passion. And if you're on that path, keep stepping forward, keep taking messy action. Done will always be better than perfect. That is a guarantee. Okay, until next week, keep creating your confidence. If you like this episode, tag me on social media, post about it. I will always repost and reshare. And if you haven't yet, please leave a review of the show. It helps so much. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be.