Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #2: Learning To Stand Up with James Altucher

Episode Date: May 21, 2019

After a very odd first encounter a year ago, Heather sits down with the entrepreneur, best-selling author behind Choose Yourself, and podcaster about the important lessons one can learn from following a passion like stand up comedy, what happiness really means, and how awareness and small acts of self-care is key to powering through the rough times. Review this podcast on Apple Podcast using this link and when you DM me the screen shot, I buy you my $299 video course as a thank you! Click here to review! My book Confidence Creator is available now! Get it right here ! If you are looking for more tips you can download my free E-book at my website and thank you! DM your questions for the show -- Instagram | Facebook | Twitter | LinkedIn See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Thank you for listening to this Podcast One production, available on Apple Podcasts and Podcasts and Podcasts. For joining me back again this week, creating confidence. My second show, I'm so excited you're here. And I just wanted to say thank you so much for all of your support, encouragement, subscriptions, readings, and reviews. They made such a difference. Now, like anything, when I go into a new venture, I'm going to have a, goals, I'm going to have deadlines, I'm going to have a plan and strategy. And coming into creating

confidence as a first-time podcaster last week, I had met with a podcast one team. This is their expertise. They know this arena. I do not. So they shared with me that the first 48 hours of a show are really critical to achieving massive success. So there's a short-term play, which is the first 48 hours and then of course there's a longer term play which you want to over time become a top show all of the time offering great value for your audience and driving more subscribers and ratings and reviews. So I learned that I had 48 hours, a really intense window. I decided to clear my schedule for those two days and I relied on an experience that I had nearly a year ago. May 22nd, 2018 is when my first book, Confidence Creator, dropped.

And going into that launch, I had never had a launch before. Remember, I had been in corporate America for my entire lifetime, my entire career. So I had never had a personal launch. And launching the book was scary. I didn't know what I was doing. I made plenty of mistakes. However, some really positive things did happen. And like anything, hard work works.

So I worked really hard at driving the launch of the book and it ended up doing well. And there's a number of reasons why that happened. So I used and leveraged the knowledge that I had created from my launch last year, nearly a year ago, serendipitously. So, you know, so much can happen a year. In 2018, I was launching the book in 2019. I'm launching the podcast and going into the podcast. I'm set up a little bit better.

I've got the experience with launch from the book, so I know some of the things to do and not do. I've got this time a team behind me of experts at Podcast 1 that do this for a living, and they prop me up and they gave me some information. They said, hey, Heather, here's what's worked. They talked a lot about social media, a lot about accessing people with millions of followers. Now, spoiler alert, I don't have millions of followers yet. So I thought to myself, okay, I see how some of these show hosts were able to go number one because their following was so massive. They have a lot of reach. I don't have that.

So to reach millions of people, I can do it a different way. I can tap hundreds of people with thousands of followers and that could potentially get me the same result. It's going to take more work. It's going to take a lot more follow up. But that was the only way I could find in my circle of influence. an opportunity to reach that amount of people. So I put that on my list. I created a massive list, just like I did when I launched the book, of my ride or die people I could tap that would help me, that I could get to before launch, before that 48-hour window and do some work ahead of time.

Sadly, that list has changed drastically in the last year. After leaving corporate America, a lot of the people that I used to consider my friends have disappeared from my life. and I was reminded of this when I compared the list for my book launch to my list now. And today I feel really grateful. I know that the people who are with me are not with me because of my job title. They are not with me because I can get them tickets to an event. But looking back, I think a lot of the people that I was surrounded with weren't really in it to be with me. They were in it to get something from me.

And I think that's part of the reason why I feel happier now. I feel more grateful now because letting go of some of the friendships, quote unquote, friendships that I believed had, you know, my interest as a best interest really didn't. And sometimes it takes a really hard experience like getting fired to shake out and see who your real friends are. There are plenty of friends from that business that I still have as my ride or die. I still talk to and they will be with me to the end. I know that. But it's a much better feeling, even though it's painful at first, it's a much better feeling to know people are with you for the right reason, not just for their reason.

So that brought me some gratitude looking at this new list. And I reached out to my rider dies and they were there for me and they stirred up their networks and said, hey, Heather's got this great show coming out. we would love for you to listen. Here's why you're going to like it. It was really clear with people. I needed them to subscribe, rate, and review. So you need to get clear on what is it that you're asking people to do.

You need to ask with frequency because people will want to help you and they'll forget. You know, people get busy. It's so normal. Everyone's got a lot going on in their life. So I was very specific in my ask. I asked with frequency. I would post on social. I reached out, you know, via email.

And then I decided I've got to really give people value here above and beyond my show being great, which I really believe it is great. And I'm grateful that you're supporting me and believing in it as well. You know, how can I offer more value? Now, this is a difference maker that I didn't have a year ago. So much can change in a year. In the past year, I've created an online course, Confidence Creator 101. It's a video course. And it sells for $299.

I decided this year, since I have that course, I would offer that course to anyone that subscribed, rated, and reviewed my show in the first 48 hours of launch. Yes, that was a lot of work because I had to set people up in the accounts. I had to buy the course for them. I had to send them the course. It's a lot of work, but it paid off because if you want to ask someone for their time, their effort, and create a sense of urgency that's going to disrupt their day or their life for a moment, you need to offer them value in exchange and offering to buy them my course

in exchange for their time to listen to the show and rate and review it paid off. And we've got a lot of ratings and reviews. I so appreciate them. Please subscribe, rate and review. If you have not yet, it does make a huge difference. Now, my goal at launch and with, you know, in conjunction with podcast one, we wanted to get the show to number one. Unfortunately, that did not happen. However, When I woke up after 48 hours, I jumped on my phone to check and see if we were number one. We weren't there, which is okay. There's nothing wrong with setting a high bar and not achieving it. However, we did achieve in the business category, new and noteworthy show, which I'm really,

really proud of and really excited for. So thanks for the support. Sometimes we don't achieve our massive goals, but we achieve smaller ones, which are indicators to me that I'm on the right path. I just need to reach more people, keep creating great shows and bringing value to you each week, which I'm doing this week. I'm really excited for the show this week because a year ago at this time is when I, my guest that you're going to meet here in a minute, I actually went on his show and I want to share with you what happened there because it's an interesting story. A year ago, I was in the dark. I was launching my first book. I didn't know what I was doing.

But one of the things I had figured out was going on podcasts allowed me to reach new audiences. And the larger the show I could go on, the better opportunity I had to share my message and tell my story about my low moments and how I learned to create confidence and how the reader could too. So one of the ways to do that is to go on a major celebrity show. Now, there's twofold reason why it's so important you are face to face with people. one, you want that connection that you're sitting with them, locking eyes and really having an authentic conversation, and nothing's going to allow that to happen like being face-to-face. But the second reason for me is, if I am face-to-face with someone and I can touch their shoulder, I can say, hey, can I grab a selfie with you?

I'd love to, you know, put this up on social. Would you mind putting this on your social too? That's where you can make a comfortable ask and connection and take a picture with someone you're with that can really help your initiative and extend your reach. When you don't have that face-to-face connection, it's never as powerful and you lose that opportunity. About a year ago today, I flew out to New York and when I take on a trip like that, it costs me a lot of money. I don't bill that back to anyone but my company. And being an entrepreneur can be expensive and you need to make really good decisions with where are you going to allocate funds. Well,

when I know I'm getting a face-to-face meeting with a big show, big show host, I'm going all in because those are the times I want to roll the dice and spend the money. On this trip a year ago, I was flying to New York to go on the Jenny McCarthy show, which I had decided was going to be my game changer. In my mind, this was how I was going to get my book to take off and I just knew it. Or so I thought, I got off the elevator on my way to do her show. And I was told that Jenny did not make it to New York and instead was stuck in Chicago and would be Skyping in for the interview. Wow, mic drop moment. I was discouraged to say the least.

I knew I wouldn't be able to get a picture with her. I knew I wouldn't be able to make that connection with her. And I was really disappointed as I had made the investment to fly to New York, stay in New York. Now, I had created other meetings around this, but this was really the epicenter of my trip and why. I made the trip. So I was discouraged, and as I thought, I sat down in the studio, lights went on, she came on a screen, she asked me some questions. It was basically a hot minute, and the lights went off, and she was gone.

So there was no connection, no friendship, no follow-up, and a lot of disappointment on my end. I went back to my hotel room, disappointed. Again, this is just about a year ago today, and I text a friend of mine that I had met five years prior. I text my friend Steve and let him know I was in the city, disappointed, and, you know, the show had not panned out the way I thought. He responded to me, hey, I think I can get you on my show tomorrow. Let me check with James. So he checked with James Altichur and got back to me right away. Yeah, he's read your book. We've got an opening in the morning.

Someone just canceled on us. Why don't you come in? And this reminds me of. of the voice when someone has been voted off and suddenly another coach hits the red button and goes for the save. This was that moment for me. I had been so clear that it was the Jenny McCarthy show that was gonna change everything for me. And I was sitting, feeling bad for myself in my hotel room,

so disappointed that I'd spent all this money on this trip in my mind for nothing when the coach that went for the save was my friend Steve. And it just worked out unbelievably well. That show and that interview, when he interviewed me a year ago, ended up being one of the largest shows I have gone on year to date, sold more books for me, expanded my reach immensely. And to this day, I still get notes about that interview.

It was really raw, and I was really nervous going into it. For whatever reason in my life, I'd always been told I was the quote unquote social one. So when I would hear about smart ones, quote unquote, I would put those smart people up on pedestals. And to me, that is James, you know, such an intellectual. And I felt intimidated going in there. Luckily, I had my friend Steve that came running out to grab me to go into the show and I felt a bit more at ease. But what's interesting this week versus last week is last week I went to meet Gary Vee for the first time.

I went to his studio and office for the first time. And anytime you go somewhere for that first time, it can be intimidating and nerve-wracking. You don't know what to expect. The second time is always so much easier. So I'm interested to hear what you think this week with this show and with my guest because I do have a friendship with him. I have been to his studio before. I've been on his show before.

And my good friend, Steve, is sitting right there with me for it. So it'll be a little bit of a different dynamic. I definitely felt more confident in this situation. I had the experience. I've been there before. I could visualize it in my mind. And I knew I was surrounded with people that want me to win and care about me. And that creates confidence in me.

So definitely interested to hear if you hear a difference in my voice, in the cadence of the show and the rapport and how that affects you and impacts you. I know that James imparted a lot of knowledge. He's so different from me. So I really like to sit with people that see things differently than I do, that have a different perspective than I do. And I've decided to take intellectuals and smart people off of the pedestal and see us all as equals, just unique in our own right. And I definitely think that comes through.

I hope you take other people off of pedestals and see them as you're equal as well, because they are. They may be unique and different. but so are you. And I'm excited for you to see how unique James is in this show. And I can't wait for you to meet him. Hey, this is Jordan Harbinger, host of the not so creatively titled Jordan Harbinger show. We dig into the superpowers of the world's most interesting thinkers,

and then we deliver them to you right into your ears. It's more than just a way to get inspired. And I get it. We're not all superheroes. That's why we give you their blueprint and include worksheets for every episode, as well as answer your listener questions, so you can live what you listen. Listen free to the Jordan Harbinger Show, available on Apple Podcasts and Podcasts.com. Okay, so this is so surreal. I'm so excited to be here today.

My guest is James Altiture. He has been called by Forbes Magazine. He's described as one of the most interesting, no, the most interesting man in the world, which we need to discuss that. He's an author, investor, writer of 23 books, including Choose Yourself, a chess master, stand-up comedian and comedy club owner, and the host of the enormously successful James Altisher show. So the irony here is, and why I'm so excited to be with you, is almost one year ago today, I was sitting in the seat that you are sitting in. At this very table.

Literally at this table. And I was going on your show. And I'm just so grateful that you made time for me today and that you had me as your guest a year ago. Well, first off, it was a pleasure to have you. And I loved your book. And I think the podcast, my goal always is are the listeners getting real value out of the podcast. And is it riveting enough for them to keep listening? And so it was both riveting and they got value.

And I hope you got, I don't know if you got any feedback. Sometimes people get feedback from their friends. I feel like this is staged. Okay. So I have done and promoted my book endlessly, as you know, in the past year. I sold more books coming on your show, which shocked me because I did not think your audience would be my audience. And it just really, to me, what that showed me was you read my book. You were so thoughtful about my book.

And you had such great questions. It really dug into the book, which revealed the book to the audience and in turn delivered sales. And it was phenomenal feedback. So thank you. No, I really appreciate it. And I think what people are starting to realize is that a three- minute segment on traditional media, you know, I won't, you know, whether it's national, some national morning show when there's all the well-known ones or local media in New York and

LA and other big cities, it's not as powerful as a podcast where you can really get in depth on a subject and really learn. So my goal is like, I read your book and then I have this amazing opportunity. I have the author in front of me. So everything I wanted to learn from the book, I can just dive deeper and ask about because I wanted more confidence. We can all use more confidence and, you know, and all the other topics that your book, you know, touched upon. And that's why we're here today, creating confidence. But the sad thing is so many people don't take the time to actually do due diligence and research a guest.

I have listened to so many of your shows and having met you in person, you know, it was funny. When I walked in here a year ago, I was very nervous and intimidated by you. Fact. Straight up fact. And this was absolutely the largest podcast I had ever been on. you are extremely successful. I perceived you very much as an intellectual, so intelligent and smart.

I feel like I want to correct you on every item you just said. Of course you do, because I know you now. However, when you don't know someone and you walk into a situation, you create your own persona story. And I was sitting out there so nervous. And thankfully to Steve, your executive producer, you know, we had a relationship. So he helped bridge that fear gap for me walking in,

which was super helpful, allowed me to feel a bit more confident to come in here. And then I also got the sense, right or wrong, that you didn't care for me when you first met me. What? Yeah. I told it. That's really, no, but that's really interesting.

So tell me, tell me why. I'll tell you why. Because when I walked in, you said, you were doing another show with some athlete, a former athlete, baseball players. Keith Hernandez. Sorry about that. Oh, I just apologized.

And I hadn't done that since the 80s. That was late. I know him because he was on Seinfeld. That's the all the main reason I know. So you were wrapping up one show. You came out for a hot second. and I went to take a picture with you and you said, I don't do pictures.

What? I never say that. Yes, you did. I don't do, I don't do pictures and let's go. Let's get her on. And we came right in and sat down. And I thought, oh, boy, I don't remember that. It was a very fast interchange and you were rushed.

And anyways, we got in here. And at first, I was so taken aback and nervous. And then as we got into, you knew so much about my book, that made me feel comfortable. And you were asking me really true questions. from your heart and I could sense that. And so then we started talking and then it was just a conversation. And then I loved you and we, you know, hugged at the end and we did a selfie and it was great. So to me, you know, that's one of those examples. Look how things can change just in such a

short window of time, whether it be because you have someone there supporting you, whether it be because you realize you were creating a story in your own mind, but really getting the chance to know somebody and be vulnerable with them because that conversation was really a lot of vulnerability. both parts. Yeah, no, I'm, again, I, I thought it was such a great podcast. I do want to say, I probably you misheard the, I never take pictures because I always take pictures. Maybe I did. Maybe it was like, uh, Keith was leaving and other people might have been taking pictures with him. And I was like, you know, Steve, move this. Oh, that's, don't, don't point the finger. Don't point the finger. Point the thumb.

Blame yourself. Choose yourself, not blame yourself. Just a quick story. I was talking once to a friend of mine, Catherine Schultz, I'm trying to remember the title of her book. Maybe it was On Being Wrong, or Being Wrong. But she told me, I said, how did you come up with this idea for a book?

And she said, a friend of hers went to her father's funeral and she was describing the story of her father's funeral and it was snowing and she was cold. And my friend Catherine asked her, wait, didn't your father die in June? And the whole idea of then

of her book is that most people actually don't like we're sort of um not quite uh our past is kind of half myth and half true not saying not saying your perception or what you remember is is incorrect but we all have our own my maybe my memory is incorrect we all have our own memories of the past and our mind forms them to fit other stories the book is called up being wrong adventures in the margin of error like katherine And I should add, she also hasn't really talked to me lately because I, she really doesn't like my opinion about college. And we had an argument about it. And then she hasn't talked to me since.

That's her loss. Well, moving on. So this is weird. Again, I'm such a beginner as a podcast host. Just for a second, I was looking to you to say, okay, what is James going to ask next? So this is a little bizarre. But some of the things I wanted to dig into your past that really interests me, one, the comedy piece.

I did, as you know, from a chapter of my book, I did a stint where I took a stand-up comedy class and it was really hard. And I watched so many people struggle with that. And you were just sharing with me how it's helped you become such a better speaker. You know, how did you get into that? Why did you get into that? And how did you create more confidence for yourself as a speaker as a result? Well, it's interesting.

because so I always like a big challenge. And I don't say this, I feel like there's a lot of self-help books that say, oh, you know, get out of your comfort zone. Say hi to a stranger in the elevator. You know, they give all these little quirky exercises. But I always, I'm not as much into those as when I'm really passionate about something. I want to learn it like anybody would. I want to learn it as quickly as possible.

And the only way to learn something is to really choose the most difficult paths in that field to really challenge yourself. So you're going to fail miserably for quite some time. But at the end of that time, you'll have learned faster than anyone else. So whether it was starting a business, which I was not a natural entrepreneur, I had to learn through very painful trial and error, unfortunately, about entrepreneurship or investing or writing. or, you know, many things. And I think about 20 years ago, I was working for HBO and I got obsessed with stand-up comedy. I would go probably two or three times a week to watch stand-up comedy. I would go out to the Aspen Comedy Festival every year.

I was just really into it. And this was a time when a lot of the people who are famous, well-known comedians now were just starting out then. And I would see them perform every week. And I always wanted to do it. But I was terrified. scared to death. So then when I started public speaking, I would, I would basically watch stand-up comedy before every talk that I gave, even if I was giving a talk about investing to investors, I would, I would watch stand-up comedy for a good chunk of the 24 hours before the talk,

just to kick in what are called mirror neurons. So if I, if you watch somebody climb up a ladder, you don't have to climb up the ladder. You'll know your mirror neurons, kick in and you'll know how to climb up that ladder without having ever done it. So I figured if I watch a lot of stand-up comedy before I give a talk, you know, stand-up comedians, they're not just giving a talk to an audience. They're doing stuff with their voice. They're doing stuff with their phases. They're doing stuff with the crowd.

They're moving around. They're controlling the stage. They're also funny in the way they, you know, say things and they're saying funnier things than the normal person. And so that, you know, just doing it. that would always help my public speaking. And I guess finally about five years. And so I was always kind of doing a little bit of stand up in my talks. But then finally about maybe four or five years ago, I said, okay, I'm going to just get up on a stage and do it. So I did it. And, you know,

it was fun. And I got, but all of a sudden, this, this like drug emotion kicked in. I got like obsessed with it of going on stage and getting that kind of quick feedback. You know, you get to do something and you get instant feedback about whether you're doing it good or bad. And I love activities like that. So, for instance, a game like chess is like that or investing, you know, day trading is like that. And comedy turned out to be the hardest, out of all of these different skills I learned,

turned out to be the hardest skill I've ever had to learn. And, you know, there's the one thing of overcoming the fear of going up. on stage and talking to an audience. So a lot of people go up and on stage once or twice and they figured, okay, I did it. But then there's all these subtleties and nuances as you get deeper and deeper into it. And it was so beautiful like studying the art form and watching other comedians. And the more I studied it, the more I would see when I would watch some of my favorite

comedians, I would see all the nuances and the artistry in what they were doing that I had never noticed before. So I decided, okay, I'm going to really get good at this. And so some weeks I'll do up to 10, 11 times a week. And I've been doing this now for, you know, maybe I started taking it seriously like four years ago. It's so strange to me that you make this sound so simple because having stood up on a standup comedy stage myself, it is so incredibly hard. And let me ask you, like, you do public speaking. You do a lot of public speaking.

You're really good at it. You're very comfortable in front of like a TV camera where you're speaking to me. maybe millions of people. What do you feel is the hard part for you when you're standing up in front of 20 strangers who don't know you at all and won't, you know, won't know you afterwards? Steve, you knew he was going to have to go back to hosting the show. I mean, I knew this was coming. So for me, it's not hard anymore at all.

I don't even think about it. It just comes naturally, but it's because I'm 44 years old and I've been doing it for 24 four years. So somewhere along the way that progression, it became natural. I don't know. Like, what was the difference in stand of comedy? Because it's the same thing. You're going to go up on a stage and you're going to talk to people. Well, coming up with bits and making people laugh is different than speaking and sharing, communicating a message. What if, what if, I mean, I'm not, it's always bad to steal jokes and and to use someone else's jokes. But I'm just wondering, would it change for you if someone gave you

the jokes and so you knew okay these jokes have been tested by jerry seinfeld and now i'm going to do them absolutely because i think i think i think i would be just as nervous uh because i think i don't think the you know we're all funny people like when we're talking to our friends we're funny we make our friends laugh and so on but for me it was just there's something else about a bunch of strangers judging you and you know and then things go wrong even if you have the funny all prepared things go wrong. Someone drops their drinks. Someone's whispering and figuring out the check. Someone's just talking to their friend or texting on their phone or there's a drunk heckler or there's only 12 people in the audience. So there's 500 people in the audience. So there's all sorts

of situations in comedy that don't occur in public speaking. And so I'm curious if an element of that made it difficult, made the comedy thing difficult for you. No. And you just, you reminded me of a personal story that really was about creating confidence. which is an NBA player reached out to me, had read my book, and said, I'm struggling with my confidence, Heather. Can we meet and talk about how I can create more? So, of course, I met with him. And when I sat down, I said, really, what is the crux of this? He said, here's a thing.

I have, you know, I've got a great shot from the free throw line in practice. I never miss. However, in the games, my stats don't represent that. I panic. And I said, why? Why are you panicking? And he said, every single person in the world is watching me. You don't understand, Heather.

You've never played professional sports. And I said just what you just said, basically, no one's watching. They're dropping their drink. They're on Instagram. They're running to the bathroom. There's a million different things happening. And people are so consumed with themselves. The goal is actually trying to get people to look at you.

But I don't know. I don't know if he's totally correct either because the stakes for him is not that everybody's watching him. is that the stakes are that he's in a professional game where his future income and status in the game, you know, his team is his tribe. So his status in his tribe is not defined by how he does in practice. It's how he does in the game. And I think he's kind of fooling himself into thinking it's another issue when it's more of this tribal issue that he's going to lose status in a professional game unless he makes the same baskets he makes in practice. practice. And I think that's, you know, that will affect your, your, your, the, the neurochemicals that are triggered when, when confidence is triggered.

So, so, so, for instance, doing comedy, getting that kind of confidence on stage and learning those nuances, that made me so much more. I was already a confident public speaker and, and, and pretty good at it, but it changed the game completely for me in public speaking and even going on TV. So you can go on, when you go on TV, there's an anchor or two. And then there's two or three people. people on a panel often, you know, and then you're, you're being a pundit about something. Suddenly I realized, oh, this is like these, just these three other people or four other people. It's like, one of us is on the stage and the rest is the audience. So I just make sure I'm the one on the stage. And that's, so I put on my stand-up comedy muscles and not necessarily the humor, but

the controlling the stage, because only one person can do it. And that works even on media appearances. So anything, I don't know, there's a lot of skills that, that, and it's related to, a lot of it's related to confidence. There's a lot of skills that comedy bleeds into. But comedy itself is, requires, as you know, requires such enormous confidence because you're, you're naked up there on the stage in a way that not even for normal public speaking. Public speaking, they go there, they know who you are or they know what the topic is. They want to learn more. Yeah, I'd like to learn more about confidence.

And they go air and then and and so you're given you're given a free pass for at least the first few minutes. And then of course, you're great at what you do and you establish your credentials and you tell some stories and now they're in. You know what works because you've done it so many times. And with comedy, you've given like, they give you only a few seconds before they either like they're in or they're out and they're like, okay, 15 minutes until the next comic. I'm just going to tune out for now on this guy. And have you ever been booed before? Oh, yeah. I mean, I've done it like a, you know, over a.

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slash confidence-free. That to me sounds horrible. And we were talking earlier about someone who had read my book, got into comedy. It was a passion of his. He loved it. Funny Pat, great guy. And he was booed off stage once. And he never went back up.

Got into a career in aviation. Became very successful, financially, you know, supposedly successful. but really had detached from his passion and he felt empty, you know, whatever it was, 15 years later and happened to read my book, I met with him. He went back into comedy after really discovering for himself how to create confidence in himself and pursue his passion. How did he specifically do it? I mean, he went step by step. He first of all decided, I'm not pursuing my passion.

I'm empty at work. I don't love what I'm doing. What is it I love to do? So he started journaling and figuring out, I really missed. the comedy piece. I miss standing up on that stage. I stopped it because I was scared of getting booed again. And when he came to that realization, I think that's when he really discovered where he needed to move. Well, you know, it's interesting because first off, every single comedian from number one on down, even if they've been doing it for 30 years, they're still going to get

boot off stage occasionally. Dave Chappelle a year ago, I think he was playing in Detroit, got booed. He got booed. He did not get off stage. I love that. He specifically told them, too, you're not getting your money back. And I forgot the exact joke he said, but he made it funny when he described it in a future special. But, you know, that's, you know, I've, every time I've been mildly heckled or even worse, if there's silence and you just get off the stage and you have this feeling like, gosh, they didn't like me for some reason. I always feel like, okay, that's the last. I don't need to do this.

It's, it takes even a 15 minutes set, just preparing and amping myself up. It takes three or four hours out of my day for, for, you know, anywhere from like 12 to 200 people who knows how many people are going to be there. I'm not going to do it anymore. But then you go, you go back and do it and you look at the video. I try to take the video of my sets and you study it. Well, here's where I might have done a little better. That's hard for some people to do to watch yourself. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, you have to do that. That's critical. And, you know, that's one of the ways to get better. That's the deliberate, you know, so I've even corresponded with Andrews Erickson, who's the, he's the guy who studied and created the so-called 10,000 hour rule where you do deliberate practice for 10,000 hours or something. And that's how you get to be the best in the world. So I've had correspondence with him about stand-up comedy and getting better.

And one of the things in deliberate practice is always studying your mistakes. So you have to take that video to do that. And actually studying it with someone better than you. So he can point out or she can point out the mistakes that you're making. That's great advice. And that works for public speaking as well. Yeah, well, it works for everything. So selling, negotiating, investing, chess, writing.

You would film yourself doing those different tasks? No, no, no, with each way, with each thing, there's another way, you know, you find another way to measure yourself. So with stand-up comedy, the only way to really measure myself, like with chess, I have the game. So I have the notes of the moves of the game written down, but I'll show those to a teacher or I'll run them through a computer and see all the places where I missed opportunities. And I'll think to myself, what was I thinking? Why did I miss that opportunity? Or in investing, if I made a trade and it doesn't work, did it not work because I didn't stick to my plan? Did I stick to my plan?

And it didn't work. In which case, it's okay. It's okay to fail sometimes if you stuck to your plan with entrepreneurship, with a sale or with hiring and fire. employees, you know, did I, you know, with each thing, it's the, it's the same kind of process. Like, you look at your mistakes. You try to learn from them. Try to analyze them. And that gives you more confidence later on as well. Like, oh, okay, I've seen this situation 50 times before. Now I know what to do. Oh, someone's heckling me in this kind of way. Now I know what to do. I'll pull that out of the catalog I have of heckling situations and I can deal with it a certain

way. But what about those people that are younger that don't have the experience yet? Well, you have to get, you have, it's, what, this is an important thing that that is really interesting, it was interesting for me to realize is that when you are really love and, and are passionate about something, and by the way, hopefully everybody does something that they love and are passionate about, I think it's definitely most people do not, by the way, but I think most people do not, but I think, I think it interweaves with, if you're really good it's something, probably will be passionate about it too. And there's usually some ways to make money at it, no matter what it is. But you know, it's, you have to kind of find the right

spot where it's that sweet spot of you're good at it, you're passionate about it, and you can make money at it. And then there's usually some intersection there and you just have to find it. And I think people give up and they say, okay, forget it. I'm just going to go to law school or whatever. That's the I gaki. I think is that the word, Steve, you'll have to tell me if I have that right, the agacchi principle, I, G, G, A, K.I. But it's all about marrying your purpose, your passion, and your value and your work together and finding that opportunity to drive value financially for yourself too. Yeah. No. And I think, I think the problem is, is that that people think, okay, that's the path to happiness, right? Happiness has become this kind of catch-all phrase

for like this state of being that we should, you know, strive to be in. But that doesn't really, that's not really true. Like happiness, you know, is a result, again, of, oh, somebody claps, so you're happy for a few seconds, but then you're back down to your base level. Everybody's got a base level of happiness, which is hard to change. But there's other things like fulfillment and meaning and, and other things that really have nothing to do with happiness. And so when you find something you're passionate about, something that's worthy of being passionate about, you're not going to be good at it. Because if it's so important that it's worthy of your efforts and being passionate about it, then then you're you're going to really suck at it for the first, you know, week, month, five years, 10 years.

You know, it's one of those things. The more you learn, the more there is to learn. Even Plato said, you know, the one thing I know is that I know nothing. So, you know, if you decide, oh, I really love tennis and I'm going to get better at tennis. And let's say you're young enough to be a pro and you have some talent, you're going to just suck when you start. And it's going to take you years to get good. Or if you're an entrepreneur, you're not going to know all the things about entrepreneurship on day one.

There are so many subtleties and nuances. There's like a thousand little nuances of entrepreneurship. Like how will my company be valued by others? How do I sell so that I could hand this off to a project manager? How do I negotiate price? How do I price things? All these subtleties and nuances that take years to really learn. And you're going to suck at it for so long.

while you learn it. And it's going to feel really bad during that process most of the time. And so that's why I'm always, you know, it's like finding your passion and, and or purpose or whatever you want to call it is almost the opposite of going for easy happiness because you're about to put yourself in through the struggle. Yeah, it's, it's hard. That's why to, you know, that's why, you know, you could love comedy. But if you love it, you're going to get heckled and booed and, and have audiences that hate you. And it's going to be so many painful things that happen. How do you know the difference between I'm doing, I'm in the wrong field,

I'm doing the wrong thing, or this is part of the climb to get me where I'm supposed to go. Because when I left corporate America and started as an entrepreneur, there's been so many times I started wondering, hang on, you know, that self-doubt crept in, wait a minute, maybe this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing. I'm not making enough money yet. It's not connecting yet. Maybe I'm supposed to pivot here and go another direction. direction. How do you know that that you should just keep going?

I think that's, I think that is the question because A, at any point, you always have alternatives to what you're doing. So like with entrepreneurship, it could be the case that your business is not working out. And the best thing is to, um, cut your losses and, and go a different direction. It might not be being an employee, but it might not be being an entrepreneur either. Maybe it's being what's called a lifestyle entrepreneur, where it's just you, but, you know, making money and charging for your services or making an online course, but it's not a full scale business. Or maybe you write more books or, you know, which is kind of a writer is sort of an entrepreneur,

an artist entrepreneur, but it's not the same thing as a business entrepreneur. So there's lots of different ways to slice something you're passionate about. Like the other day, I was feeling frustrated, and this is after a thousand, well over a thousand sometimes doing stand-up comedy, I made a list for myself, what are 10 other ways I can explore comedy and the field of humor? Or I always think about this podcast, you know, my podcast. What are 10 other formats I can try? You know, just to, you know, if things feel like they're ever plateauing, I can try other ideas. And, you know, Steve and I, you know, we started trying different different things on the podcast. So. But that point that you just made, I really want

highlight that when things start to feel like they're plateauing that's when you start to pivot and look for alternatives most people so many people that I know including myself for a decade had plateaued and stayed there felt comfortable and safe and and really got nice and comfy in that there's nothing there's nothing wrong with that um in in in some cases in some cases there might be something wrong with that. But here's the key thing is it's okay to try multiple things at the same time. So yes, some things require 24-hour dedication and often entrepreneurship is one of those things. But usually there's ways to try other things slightly. So for instance, and we were talking a little bit about this before the podcast, like with stand-up comedy, oh, maybe one

alternative is I go back to doing more public speaking, but bring in all the elements. that I've learned from stand-up comedy. Or with investing, I really didn't enjoy, you know, day-to-day investing. So I changed the style by which I was investing. I did more private company investing and more long-term investing. I didn't do day trading as much. And with entrepreneurship, I used to be, I used to start companies and be the CEO of them and manage employees.

now when I start a company, I make sure there's another CEO managing the employees, and I'm more focused on what I'm good at, which is, you know, kind of the initial idea and the very initial execution, but not the follow-through, which I'm not as good at. So you kind of sort of start to learn where your spots are by trying many things as you get better in this one umbrella thing. Or you give up because it's not satisfying something for you and you try something new, and then maybe later you go back, like your friend did on. comedy or your reader did on comedy, you know, for me, I might go, I might leave this,

the stage. Oh, everybody hated me. And then I'm not, I'm never doing this again. And then three days later, I feel that urge. You know what? I'm going to, I feel like going up again. And I'll go up. But it sounds like you really got to know yourself. And that's a really powerful thing. Getting to know, you know, who you are. How did you do that? Well, I think, I think it's an ongoing process. But I think the important things are and you know we both talk about these things in our books is you kind of I'll just metaphorically saying people use this expression before you kind of have to make your bed before you go out and change the world like you have to make sure other aspects of your life are going well you can't be for instance in a really bad romantic relationship and then expect to go do

stand-up comedy at night or or even go to work and be an entrepreneur in the morning and have everything be great because your emotions are all, you know, entangled and you're not going to be able to, that, that muscle, or let's even view it as like a body, like an emotional body, it's clogged somewhere. So the emotions are clogged as they're going through this emotional body. So it's like you have like an emotional heart attack or an emotional stroke where not a real stroke, but something that clogs you so that you can't live up to your potential. And so you have to make sure all your relationships are going as well as possible. to make sure your creativity is going as well as possible. Like, like your friend started journaling

and that got, you know, creativity muscles atrophy. But when you start journaling or any kind of start painting, journaling, composing music, whatever, your creativity muscles start to loosen up. They start to strengthen. And then suddenly he's like, oh, this is what I want to do. And this is how I can do it. Because his creativity now was working better. It had atroph, that muscle had atrophied or that that body had atrophied his 15 years in aviation. Spiritually, like, do you have a sense of, you know, sometimes I feel unblocked. I care what people think about me or I care about, you know, am I hitting some goal? When really, you should just care about like, am I getting better?

Am I improving in the things that I love doing? And am I a good person? So that's, you could block yourself spiritually. And then physically, you need to be in good health. It doesn't mean you need to be like an athlete, but you know, you need to sleep. Most people need to sleep eight hours a day, eat pretty well, move, you know, move around enough to get some exercise because you don't want to be, you're not going to be your full potential if you're sick. So and all these things I described are different variations of being sick. So physically sick, emotionally sick, creatively sick, creatively sick, spiritually sick.

You have to make sure you're healthy. And then from there, you start to get to know who you are a little better. because now you're at the point where you could be potentially your best. Okay, that sounds really hard. And I think for most people hearing that, they're saying, how can I do that? Yes, my relationship is struggling. My health isn't good. But I'm so stressed out at work and trying to pay the bills.

I have to put in overtime right now. I have zero creativity. We've all seen people and or been in that space. What is the one thing that you can do or what is the first thing you can do to break out of that? Yeah, that's a great question. So like, like, there's been times when, like, I remember one time where my finances were a wreck and I was scared of death. I mean, I was broke and I was scared of death. And my relationships were not so good.

And there was no easy. I couldn't understand. I didn't even understand that they weren't going so well. And there was no easy fix. But there's just pick one thing. Okay, I'm going to make sure I sleep eight hours a day. Whatever it takes, like blackout shades. Don't look at the computer.

two hours like all none of these things I do right now but I did then I like focused on one thing which was sleep eight hours a day don't look at your phone or or any kind of screen for two hours before you sleep don't eat for the three hours before you sleep get blackout shades uh maybe read a little bit before you go to sleep so I focused on eight hours of sleep I focused on eating a little better I focused on taking a nice walk and in nature and and you know suddenly my life's a little better because I'm doing that as opposed to being physically sick as well as being emotionally sick. And then the next thing is I would get these waiters pads. And, you know, I got one on me right now.

James is pulling out a pad from, it looks like a diner. Yeah, yeah. So they're great as opposed to these like fancy moleskin or moleskinne notebooks that cost $6,000. And these you could just buy for like 10 cents a pad or I actually take them from the bar downstairs now that I own a bar. Well, you own it so you can't steal it. So, so, so and then I, I would write, even if I'm not journaling, I'll write lists of 10 ideas and that gets me more creative. So when I was going broke, I started writing down.

Well, what? I can't stop myself from going broke. Like the, the, the, the path that my money is on is happening. So, so how can I make more money? Instead of just like crying every day about my money, which I was actually doing, literally doing, I would say, okay, well, maybe. I can get a book advance or maybe I can start a new business or maybe I can get a job for a little while at these three places or maybe I can call these people who are friends of friends and

get their ideas. And I would write these things down and sometimes there would be a good idea, but really it was just practicing getting more creative again. And finally, things would start to click. Even if it was not an idea I'd written down, things would start to click just because in general, I would start to see more opportunities in life because my creativity muscle was going. So pick one thing and just improve it. And then in the process, you might see, oh, okay, yeah, my emotional life is not going so well. I can see this now because my creativity is noticing it or my physical health is better, so I'm noticing it or my spiritual health.

Like you can practice, oh, I care about what this person is saying about me to someone else. but being aware of that and catching yourself and thinking, you know what, it doesn't really matter. We're all going to die in 50 years like he could say or she could say whatever they want and trying to be above that and reading books that are people think, you know, oh, you have to meditate or pray or whatever. Sometimes just reading spiritual books makes me feel inspired or watching an inspiring video or whatever.

And then just thinking about what are the things that are really bothering me that I should rise above and being aware of, just being aware of it. even if they bother you, awareness is the first step. So taking that first step is maybe that's the only step you have to take. The sleep point is massive. And I've learned so much recently about how important and how sleep affects your health, your well-being, your mental state. I mean, essentially everything.

So it's an amazing point. Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, all these points are the same thing. But like sleep, if you're only sleeping four hours a night because you're so busy, you're going to get sick. Maybe not when you're 20, but certainly when you're 30, 40, 50, like, you'll get sick. You can't help it. Or if you don't eat so well.

Or honestly, if you're in a bad emotional situation, you'll get sick more often than not. Or if you're not as creative, you'll get, and then you're feeling like, oh, I hate my job. You'll get sick more often than they're not. Or if you're obsessing on what other people are thinking about you or if you're obsessing about the world's going to collapse, like, because, you know, so much. many people got to like half the country one way or the other was going to get depressed on election day because there was so much hate and anger and I saw people get so depressed they got physically sick and they stopped their writing projects they stopped their podcast I one friend

of mine stopped his podcast and uh I wrote to him you know I'm not being political but I said to him what you stopped your podcast because you're upset at what happened so what's better a world that you think is crappy without your podcast or a world that's crappy with your podcast. And so he's like, you're right. And he started up his podcast again. So, you know, being aware of the things that are causing you this angst, again, whether it's physical, emotional, creative, spiritual, this will just improve you. And like you said, it is hard. So just focus on one thing, whether it's sleep or read an inspirational book or write down 10 ideas today or make a friend or help somebody. So, you know, earlier, we talked about happiness and how there's this base level

of happiness. So whether you get sad or happy, people tend to go back to that base level. But you can raise that base level. It turns out by helping people. So by actually doing service will actually increase in your in your body the base level of happiness that you'll return to Steve must have the highest level of happiness out of everybody I wouldn't say that but I think Steve does have a really high base level higher than mine a higher base level happiness than mine and so I remind myself of that like oh you know I should help people more you know because sometimes I get too into well am I achieving these different things on you help millions of people with your books, your podcast each week.

I think we have to remind ourselves like happiness begins where selfishness ends, you know, and it just does. That's a good Steve, it's a good point. No, but like I have to stay on brand. But no, and by the way, Heather, I agree with you, but sometimes I don't always know that. Like I know it like just how you know when someone comes up to you and says something

or you get an email. But, you know, I don't always know that. And again, sometimes I have to check. myself, well, am I doing too much of this one activity, which is not, you know, when I, you know, sometimes investing doesn't help anybody. So that's why I switched from investing to writing or, you know, sometimes you have to make sure where all your, are your activities, even the ones you're passionate about, you know, on track for, also put you on track for being a better person and, you know, which increases your base level of happiness, which is important.

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slash confidence for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash confidence to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash confidence. So important. You've spoken a lot about creativity, and that interests me because you, like me, had more of a linear path back in corporate America and around financial and driving revenue for other people, shareholders in publicly traded companies.

Then you made this pivot and got into this really creative world, you know, stand-up comedy, writing, podcasting. Do you believe that everybody has a high-level creativity or some level of creativity? Because when I was in corporate America, I did not think I was creative at all. Right, but you are very creative, right? I agree.

Now, I've seen you do so many creative things like in various media, whether it's, you know, writing, of course, you know, your appearances on media like television or podcast or public speaking, you're creative on so many different levels. I think anybody, we're naturally creative beings. We have to be because you wouldn't, your ancestors 70,000 years ago wouldn't have survived. If they didn't think, huh, I can't find any food over here. So I got to be creative.

How am I going to feed my tribe? I got to look over here. But maybe there's lions. So I better pretend to be a bush sometimes. And I don't know. They were more creative than we are now on a daily basis just for survival. But we've all got that same DNA in us. But I think for most people, those creativity muscles have atrophy.

They'll atrophy in just a matter of weeks if you don't use them. So I always say get a little pad. I get these waiters pads and just write 10 ideas a day. It might be 10 ideas for businesses, 10 ideas for books. it might be 10 ideas for somebody else. I might think of, oh, here's 10 ideas for Heather or might be 10 ideas for Amazon. So at one time I wrote 10 ideas for Amazon's self-publishing unit. And I sent it to them and they invited me to come out to Seattle and take a look at all their products before they were being released.

And I did that for 10 ideas for LinkedIn. I got invited to go out to LinkedIn. 10 ideas for Google. I've been out to Google a bunch of times. So this sort of thing kind of builds and builds. your creativity muscle expands until you're like literally bulked up. You're like an idea machine at that point. And it's incredible.

And you start off with no creativity thinking you have no creativity. And then suddenly just doing this for like two months, even you're more creative than 99.99% of people because they're all thinking that they can't be creative. And you just did a little bit each day. And boom, just 10 ideas a day. So and sometimes the idea is going to be dumb. Like yesterday, I did. 10 things that upset me about superhero movies. So like, or 10 weird things about superhero movies.

Like, I'm not going to give away any spoilers about the Avengers. Don't. I haven't seen it yet. But even if you saw the old Avengers, the old Avengers one, it's like, it's like an anti-climate change movie in one way of looking at it. Or, you know, Star Wars, it seems like the Sith are, are the globalists and the Jedi are states rights people, which is normally associated with things like,

you know, racism and tariffs and all this kind of stuff. So it's just interesting ways of looking at these different movies that I don't think are so obvious, but, you know, make me think. So that was one in the list yesterday. It has nothing to do with creating businesses, but who knows? Maybe it's a way, whenever you look at things in a new way, it might lend itself to some other opportunity.

So it's just taking action, focusing on creating creativity and writing a list. Yeah. That's simple. Or, you know, other things work too. For me, that works. But like Julia Cameron's, you know, in her book, The Artist, way recommends what she calls morning pages, just right without removing your pen from the page for three straight pages.

And then never look at those pages again. That's the key. So you don't judge yourself at all. You're just exercising those creativity muscles. When you gave the example of coming up with ideas for Amazon or LinkedIn and you sent these ideas to someone there and they invited you back, that sounds really impressive to me. How do you go about figuring out who you're going to send something like that to?

Well, remember, if you've been exercising your creativity muscle and coming up with 10 ideas a day, every day, then it's going to naturally, your network is just going to build and build and build because I can't come up with that many ideas for myself. So sometimes I will come up with ideas for other people and I'll send them. I remember in that particular case, if I make the chain, maybe it was in, 2010 or 2011, I wrote 10 ideas to an entrepreneur. Like an entrepreneur wrote me an email saying his business was failing and he had no idea what to do.

And so I looked at his business and I wrote 10 ideas. Like I really researched it and he was just blown away by the ideas. I'm not patting myself on the back. He sent them around to people. They were all excited. They started doing them and whatever. Then a friend of his was the head of a department of events. Amazon. So when I wrote 10 ideas for Amazon, I sent it to him. He sent to his friend. So your network

starts to build. And then things happen. By the way, most of my list, nothing happens. You can't have $3,650 good ideas a year. And if I come up with 10 ideas for Facebook, maybe I have nobody to send them to. So that just sits in my pad forever doing nothing. I don't blind send them to somebody. If I don't know somebody there, or actually maybe I do. But I don't know. With Facebook, with Facebook, I didn't. I never, I have visited Facebook, but for other reasons. And, you know, see, again, as you're exercising your creativity, one of the things that happens is you start to realize, huh, the people I can communicate with is also bigger because now I have something valuable to give them. So I read an article, Airbnb was looking into producing original content. And this

kind of was related to an idea I had where any website with a large amount of traffic is like and Netflix. Netflix was simply a website with a large amount of traffic. Now it's traffic with people interested in watching movies. But, you know, now we see Uber made a TV show produced by Spike Lee. And you can only see it on the Uber app. But, and then I saw an article, oh, Airbnb is looking at original content. So I came out with 10 show ideas for Airbnb. And I sent it to them. And, you know, some emails went around. And who knows, that's still in process. Maybe I'll But it doesn't matter to me. I move on to the next thing.

Like, I never hang my hat on one idea working. Like, you always want to have multiple things happening. You know, I diversify. So we've talked a lot about comedy, but I also write podcasts, and I'm still an investor. And I run businesses. So, you know, you keep lots of things going on. It's a basic sales stretch. You have to have multiple pipelines full at all times if you want to achieve success.

But again, you can't, people would say. might say, well, how can he realistically do it? You can't do that if you don't have your, if you're, if your romantic relationships are all awry, if you're sick in bed, if you're not creative, if you're not kind of, I hate to use the word spiritual because it almost sounds like too wishy-washy, but if you don't have a sense of like, okay, I need to just focus on my own improvement and the improvement of the people around me and not focus on every little detail on the planet. If your bed's not made, you can't be productive in other things.

And again, like you said, it's hard to do all of those things, but just focus on one then. That's all you need to do. And you're going to be better than tomorrow than you were today. And the challenge today is focus on getting eight hours of sleep because it is a game changer for you. Yeah, eight hours of sleep. Or if you already do it, if someone's listening says, oh, I already do that. Okay, write 10 ideas down or try to eat a little better, whatever that means.

Don't snack on anything like today. like don't eat any junk food or or take an extra 30 minute walk instead of watching a half hour TV show or spend 45 minutes with a brilliant man and get the opportunity to learn from James. And I'm so excited and grateful that you gave me this chance to sit with you. But I just got the high sign that I have to hit the road. So I'm so bummed out. I feel like I could talk to you for an hour and a half longer. Well, you're always welcome to come back. Well, I'm saying this is I'm on your, I'm on your show.

But we are in your comment. studio and your podcasting studio. So thank you so much, James. It means the world to me. Well, Heather, thank you for having me on your podcast. I'm so glad you're starting this. I'm going to be excited to see how this evolves because, again, you are so creative in every effort I've seen you do. Oh, thank you. That means so much to me. And all my listeners, hang tight. I'll be right back to answer your questions. Thank you. So I hope you love that interview as much as I do. James is such a special person and he's really so interesting and thoughtful. And I really liked how I learned that I had created a story in my mind. I had taken an experience and completely changed it

and decided to save it as a memory that wasn't real. That was really powerful listening to him teach me that and thankfully Steve was there too to remind me that that did not happen so that was sort of eye-opening for me and and I wonder if you've ever had any situations like that if so please hit me up with creating confidence on Twitter with the hashtag or on any social platform I would love to hear from you if that's ever happened to you that was a straight-up trip okay so this is the segment where I answer questions and and actually this first question comes from an experience that I had this week. I'm always investing in myself and putting my best foot forward. It's really key in creating confidence in yourself and moving yourself, advancing yourself in any initiative. But one of the ways that I do that is every few months I invest in professional pictures of myself. I've met an amazing photographer here locally in Miami that is so efficient, she brings together a group of women so that it's not too expensive for anyone,

and she's able to photograph everyone in one day back to back to back. It can be a little chaotic, and one of the challenges that happened this week that I want to share with you, because to me, this is a really good question, was she has 10 women. I ended up being the last woman coming in, and when I got there, she was so far behind, and I pulled her to the side, and I said, listen, what's going on? It doesn't, we were supposed to shoot today. My call time was 2.30, which we should start by three, the latest. And now it looks like we're not going to be starting until at least five.

How did this happen? And she explained to me her level of upset and stress is that one woman came hours late and completely threw her schedule off. So she felt badly, which I know a lot of us do, addressing it. it with this one woman. So I explained something to her. I said, this is business, right? So this isn't, you're not doing this as a favor to someone and you're not doing it as a favor to me. You're charging me and you're charging every other woman here. So your time is money, my time is money. And it needs to be respected and treated that way. Here's what you need to do moving forward. You need to have

clear expectations and communication, meaning everyone that comes to your photography days needs to be clear and you need to have it to them in writing that here is your call time. We'll say it's noon. Your call time's noon. Your shoot time is from noon to one. And if you end up arriving late, you are still paying for your shoot and call time, which is X amount of dollars from noon to one. If you arrive late, what I will do to accommodate you is I will put you at the end of the shoot as everyone has their set call times. That way, when this person comes instead of changing everybody else's times to help the person that was hours late and upsetting everybody. Now you've clearly communicated what the guidelines and rules are for the shoot.

You're still getting paid. They're still going to get their pictures, but they're going to be the one that is displaced because they're the one that displaced you. And it's really important that we have that expectation, that communication on the front end, so you don't have to find yourself feeling frustrated and bad and then upsetting everyone else, which is what happened this week and leads for a difficult day. So again, in business, it is key to set those expectations, put it in writing that way you can keep emotion out of it.

You don't need to feel bad. And in fact, that other person is the one they're going to have to find something to do with themselves for a few hours. But again, if they had been on time, it wouldn't have been a problem. So, you know, another note that, and I'd love to hear your questions, please send them to me, you know, either through Podcast One or on DMs, on social media. I received a question from a woman that I had met at a speaking engagement. And I hadn't seen her in almost a year.

And she shared with me that she has found herself so unhappy at work. Now, she elaborates on it in the DM and tells me that she has actually been, been unhappy at work for quite a long time. However, like many of us, she felt comfortable in that unhappiness. She was used to it. She's used to the steady paycheck. And she just figured, hey, this is work. Now, I have experience with that, having been in a situation I was not happy with, but I had become comfortable with. So often people think comfortable means that you're happy and things are great, no, sometimes comfortable is just that, comfortable in a bad situation. So when you have that realization, that is the red flag that you need to take action and get

yourself out of there. And I say this a lot. I have learned more in the last year and a half going off on my own and working for myself than I did in the last 14 years I worked in that company. That is sad because I have so much more growth and potential within me and now I'm living it And I'm excited every day and positive things are happening for me because I'm moving towards my passion. If you're not in that situation yet, take the step today to start creating it for yourself. If you are in a comfortable situation, no, you are not growing. And this is the wake up call. You need to take action.

So she shared with me that her comfortable situation has become too comfortable and too unhappy. She's working some nights till midnight. She's a single mother. She's not seeing her child. And that was really the breaking point for her. So she said, what do I do? How do I get out of here? I am the primary breadwinner.

I don't know what to do. And the first thing that I said to her was, get clear on that vision. Where is it that you want to go? What is it that you want to do? And sometimes you might not have that answer. I didn't have that answer when I got fired. But what I did was I took a step to move forward. I didn't know where I was going.

So some of you will be clear. You'll know. I know exactly where it is. is I want to go. I know I want to be a writer. I know I want to be a chief marketing officer. Whatever it is, get clear on that vision. And if you have that vision, go on LinkedIn and search up some of the people that come up with that job that you have in mind and then compare it back to your profile. If it is a very, if you have a lot of clarity around that job and that role, then you can take a look at the people that are really succeeding in that industry in that role. And you can take some best

practices from how they're showcasing themselves and how you in turn can start to showcase yourself on LinkedIn. Getting reviews and recommendations of your work now while you're still in your old job is critical. Start reaching out to people and the next time someone thanks you or says, great job, say, hey, would you mind writing me a reviewer recommendation on LinkedIn or sending it to me on email? We live in a review and recommendation society. So yes, it's important how you speak about yourself, but it's also important who's willing to speak about how great you are and willing to post it to a wall, willing to send it to you so you can forward that on to others. It's great to have that credibility and you want to be able to share that when you're looking

for a new position. The other thing that's really important is separate everything from your existing job. I did not do this. When I got fired, they took my phone away from me. They shut it off 24 hours later. And the last thing you want to deal with, is, you know, trying to figure out your contacts and get a new phone. So if you haven't done that yet, make sure you get a separate phone right now. Make sure you back up all your contacts. Get a private email address. If you don't have that yet, I didn't have that either. Epic fail. And so you want to separate your bills, you know, anything personal needs to detach from that work environment and do it now, no matter if you're happy in your job or not, it will save you so much time and effort later.

and it's just setting you up for success. So take the time today, update your LinkedIn profile, add your reviews and recommendation, add your awards, add what you're proud of, shine your light on your resume and in business because you are worth it and you need to put your best foot forward. So you've detached yourself, your personal life,

from this business and work that you want to leap. You've started to pivot your profile to showcase and shine your light in a way that's going to attract the opportunity that you want to move towards. And now you need to start reaching out to people in a private manner to let them know, hey, I'm looking to make a move. Here's where I'm looking to go.

Do you know anyone in this network? Taking those small steps, it doesn't seem too hard. It's definitely manageable, but it will start opening up and clearing that path for where you want to go. Don't detach from that vision. Give yourself a specific goal and a specific timeline. And it could even be, I'm going to have my resume updates done by next. next week on Friday. I'm going to have, you know, five more recommendations done by 10 days from now.

You know, give yourself some goals and hold yourself accountable. If you don't have someone in your space in your life that you trust that you can go to and say, hey, here's my vision, here's where I'm going, I'm giving myself a deadline of six months to get out of this dead end job. Here's the steps I'm going to take and I need you to check in with me weekly and hold me accountable. If you don't have that person, I'll be that person for you. You can go to my website, Heather Monaghan. and dot com, click on accountability partner, and you'll get an email from me every morning keeping you on track to achieve your goals. I've got you on this one.

We can do this together. I've done it, and I know you can do it too. Thanks so much for joining me. I hope you love this episode, and I can't wait to see you next week.