Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #208: Why You MUST Be Willing To Go For It With Heather!

Episode Date: April 13, 2022

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Jumping on unexpected opportunities Asking for what you want Taking a chance  Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Sign up for the FREE Power Of Positive Summit   You can always write me your questions at heathermonahan.com and I’ll answer them on the show!  Show Notes:  Sometimes opportunities come knocking on your door, LITERALLY! All you have to do is open that door and see what happens. It may come to nothing but you will never know if you don’t take a look. There may be massive opportunities that you never even considered, lying in wait for you! Don't buy into thoughts that tell you it isn't worth the effort. Open your eyes, ask for what you want, and take a chance when it is presented! You will be amazed by what happens next. 

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me today. Okay, a few crazy things going on. And I want to share this with you to remind you that you never know what is going to happen later today.

You never know what's going to happen tomorrow. And things can change so dynamically that you have no idea might be happening behind the scenes that you just might not be aware of. So let me give you two examples that have hit my world in the past couple of weeks. Okay. So I have a team and company that manages my social media and has been managing my social media for almost two years now. And they came to me as they have branched out.

and now what they're doing is they're doing social media influencer deals. They're doing podcast sponsorships. They're doing a lot with podcasting, and they have their own podcast network, and it's been growing and growing, and they're getting better and better at it. So the owner of the company happens to be a friend of mine, and so she calls me and says, listen, how much money are you making off your show right now? And I tell her, and she says, oh, whoa, that's low. She said, on average, this is the number that I'm making with the shows I'm doing.

And I thought, oh, my God. I mean, 10 times what I'm. I'm making. So I thought, okay, why is that? And she said, you know, I'm not sure, but the company that my show is on is a huge platform, thousands and thousands of shows. This woman has under 100, right? So there's always pros and cons to different things, meaning there's a pro to being with the largest company in the world, right? They've got brand recognition. Maybe they have access to things other people don't. But there's benefits to being with small companies, too, sometimes. They care about you. They know who you are.

They're going to work harder. They're going to pitch you in ways these large companies aren't going to do because the large companies don't really know you when they have thousands of shows, right? So there's pros and cons to both. But when she explained the dynamic and gave me the numbers and the projections for my show, I thought, how can I not do this? So I said, okay, you've got someone on legal on your team, right? She said, of course, I sent her my agreement with my past partner. And, you know, it said, you have a six-month out clause. And I said, oh, geez, this stinks.

Okay, well, I'll submit the paperwork. And she said, why don't you just reach out to them and ask them? Just ask, would they be willing to let you out early on your deal? And I thought, you know what, you're right. It's not going to hurt. I did not have high expectations, by the way. I didn't think they were actually going to let me out. But I thought, I'll try.

The worst she says is no. You know, the best is that maybe she works with me on something. So I reach out to the woman who I hadn't spoken to in, you know, over a year because I very rarely deal with her. And I just asked her for a favor. I said, listen, there's a smaller company that's really interested in my show. They know me personally because they represent my brand on social.

They know the show because they know me so well. They'll be able to monetize it at a much higher level. I personally would so appreciate it if you'd work with me on letting me out of my deal early. And I'd be happy to pay that back anyway. I can't. Tell me, do you want me to refer people to you? Do you want me to give you insights on what's how?

How can I help you in exchange for this? I want you to feel good about it. She came right back to me and said, listen, if you can go make more money with another partner out there that we can't deliver on for you, I'm fine with letting you go. And yes, I'd like some insight on a couple of things. You know, whatever she asked,

it was no big deal. It was fine. And it was just so surprising that I never, you know, just a couple of weeks ago, I was thinking this is what it is with my podcast. And now today, my podcast is up and running on a different platform with a different representation, with people who know me personally, who are outpitching and aggressively trying to drive revenue for me. So there's a huge shift.

And when I first looked at, I thought it's not possible because I have this contract. And all it took was asking to be let out. I had no idea any of this was going to happen a couple weeks ago, right? So really positive stuff happening that was completely unexpected just because we tried. Okay, that was one. Ready for? for number two. This one's crazy. I've lived in my condo for, I think, 16 years. I bought in 2005. So maybe even longer than that now. Okay. So I bought it the worst time right before the market crashed. I just figured I'm going to own this place forever, right? I just never even thought about it. Maybe one day I get a house, get remarried, whatever, I'll rent this out or it'll be a

rental property, whatever. I just never thought about it. Well, anyhow, the other night I'm coming home and my neighbor was in the hall. I love my next-door neighbor. It's a married couple, super sweet, very nice people, very helpful to me and my son all the time. And so she stopped me in the hall. She said, can I speak to you for a minute? I said, yeah, of course, what's going on? You know, how are you? And she says, I have to share something with you. We just sold our condo. And I was so sad because, I mean, you know what it's like when you love your neighbor. And now I'm like, oh, gosh, who's going to move in there? This is awful for me. Of course, I was happy for them, you know, because it ends up they're moving to a bigger place, a better place, in our same building.

But I was sad for me. And so I told her that. I said, listen, I'm so happy for you. I said, however, I'm sad for me. She said, no, we're sad to leave you too. She said, but I wouldn't be a good neighbor or friend if I didn't tell you what we sold for. She said, Heather, I made a lot of money on this. And I thought, oh my gosh, that's so, I'm so happy for you. And I didn't want to ask dollar signs, right? Because I thought, that's probably a little too personal, not my place to do that. But, you know, I'm super happy for them. And she said, do you want me to introduce you to my realtor? And I thought, oh my gosh, I could never sell and make a profit on my place. But you know what? Since she's asking me, it doesn't hurt to take a phone call. So I said, you know what, not a bad idea.

All right, let's do it. Yeah. I'll speak to him and just see what's a – and she said, no, I'm telling you, Heather, your condo's bigger than ours. You'll do really well. And I thought, well, okay, it doesn't hurt. You know, no harm, no foul. I'll try it. Then I forgot about it, of course, right? And so this is what's so serendipitous. I know. never thought about any of this. This had never crossed my mind, even though I know you're thinking everyone's saying the real estate market's on fire in Florida and why wouldn't you at least look into it. I just wasn't on my radar. I bigger fish to fry, you know, making sure my son's doing okay with school and finishing school up and figuring out what I'm going to do with them for the summer and driving my revenues, growing my podcast revenue, working on my speaking business, working on, doing all the things I do. And she got my attention. And so I said, okay, I'm going to take the call.

And so then I forgot about it yet again. And a day passes. And the next night I got home, there was a taped note on my door. And it was from her. And it said, hey, remember I told you you really need to speak to this guy? I'm telling you, I think this is going to be a win for you. Here's his cell. Send him a text.

He knows you're going to call and just see what his thoughts are. Can't hurt. So I was so grateful she did that, yet again, giving me a little nudge. And so I walked in the door. It was like 9 o'clock at night. And I text the guy immediately. It just said, hey, you just sold my neighbor's condo. I just wanted to see what you think about mine.

The next day, he called me and came to my home, literally the next day, because he wanted to see it and said, listen, I can sell this thing. I can sell this thing fast. I sold your neighbors in seven days. He said, and I had four different buyers that wanted their apartment, but they missed out because they didn't bid quick enough. So I still have four people interested in something very similar to. to yours. He said, we can sell this thing fast and we can sell it for more than you bought it for. My jaw almost hit the ground because I just hadn't anticipated how strong the market was right now, how hot my building is right now. And I actually really never thought about leaving here,

right? It just like had never crossed my mind. You know, something that you just hadn't thought about, yet it fell into my lap and it would just, all I had to do is make the call. And so now, it's funny, they said to me, he is a realtor team, him and a woman, and they, said, get rid of everything and anything you can from your home, which, by the way, doing a purge in your home is the best thing ever. I'm so bummed. I didn't do this two years ago. Just in the past 24 hours, I've thrown out so much stuff that was not needed. I gave away so much stuff to the valet in my building from when my son was young that I did not need to hold on to. And I have so much more space and just clarity and cleanliness at my house right now

that I love it even more. And so I decided to start being super grateful for living here, super grateful for my view I live right on the water, because I'm pretty sure that once I do sell this, I'm not going to be able to get something because I'm going to rent because right now is not the ideal time to buy in Miami. I'll wait till prices come down again. But I'm going to rent something,

and it's really going to be a bit expensive, obviously, but this is certainly the time to sell, especially because I bought an 05. So I want to capitalize on this opportunity, Plus, I had another issue, which I don't know if I've shared with you, my son is spending almost two hours a day on buses and in cars going back and forth to school, which is ridiculous. Right. It's insane. And if there's a way that I can actually move us closer to his school, that will save him time, him stress, essentially saves me time and me stress and makes everybody's life so much better. So I'm not sure exactly. We haven't sold it yet. We haven't listed it yet. We're going to be doing that in the next couple of days. So I don't even know. what we'll end up getting for an offer or, you know, how quickly it will sell. But based off with the realtor saying it's going to happen really fast and then I'll need to find something, you know, where we can move. So I've already been online looking.

And it's just, it's so surreal because a week ago, this was not even on my radar. And right now it's consuming my life. I literally spent, if I wasn't on a conference call or a meeting, I was cleaning and purging this house, trying to get everything ready so that it's in shape to be sold immediately. So never underestimate the possibility of today and tomorrow. Just don't think that you've got it all planned out because I've just realized in the past two weeks alone, major change is happening to my business and to my life, right, that I've lived here for so long and taken this view for granted.

Don't take what you have for granted because I'm sitting here looking out the window right now knowing there's a very good chance I'm not going to be on the ocean anymore. And I'm so grateful that I've had every year. day here that I've had. And I'm just, I'm so grateful for what I've had, but I'm so excited about what I'm going to, right? Not knowing that unknown is really that opportunity to live in excitement and to make things better for my son with school and maybe find a place that's larger. Maybe we won't be in a building next to. I don't know, right? I have no idea all the possibilities out there. So just don't diminish what crazy, great opportunity could fall into your lap if you're willing to

jump on it and run with it, which I hope you are. When you want more, start your business with Northwest Registered Agent and get access to thousands of free guides, tools, and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business. All in one place. Build your complete business identity with Northwest today. Northwest Registered agents has been helping small business owners and entrepreneurs launch and grow businesses for nearly 30 years. They are the largest registered agent and LLC service in the U.S. with over 1,500 corporate guides, real people, who know your local laws and can help you in your business every step of the way. Build your business identity fast with Northwest registered agent and get access to thousands of free resources, forms, and step-by-step guides without even creating an account. Sign up for a free account to begin managing your business hub with lawyer drafted operating agreements,

bylaws, resolutions, membership certificates, bills a sale, and more, all at no cost. Northwest is your one-stop business resource. Learn how to build a professional website. annual filings your business needs to stay in good standing and simple explanations of complicated business laws. With Northwest privacy is automatic. They never sell your data and all services are handled in-house because privacy by default is their pledge to all customers. Don't wait, protect your privacy, build your brand, and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes. Visit Northwestregisteredagent.com slash confidence-free and start building

something amazing. Get more with Northwest Registered Agent at www. northwestredgisteredagent.com slash confidence-free. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than a rough patch, you don't need just another meditation app. Tachiatry makes it easy to see a psychiatrist online using your insurance in days. Tachiatry is 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, insomnia, and more. Unlike therapy-only apps, psychiatry is psychiatry. That means you're seeing a medical provider who can diagnose mental health conditions and prescribe medication when it's appropriate. All their 600-plus clinicians are in network with major insurers so you can use your existing insurance instead of paying monthly subscriptions or out of network fees. You'll meet with an experienced licensed psychiatrist who takes

the time to understand what's going on, builds a personalized treatment plan, and can prescribe medication when it's right for you. Your care stays consistent and evidence-based. Head to tachiatry.com slash confidence and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's tachiatry.com slash confidence to get matched in minutes. Starting the year with a wardrobe refresh, Quince has you covered with luxe essentials that feel effortless and look polished. They're perfect for layering, mixing, and building a wardrobe that lasts.

Their versatile styles make it easy to reach for them day after day. Quince has all the staples covered, from soft Mongolian cashmere sweaters that feel like designer pieces without the markup to 100% silk tops and skirts for easy dressing up to perfectly cut denim for everyday wear. Their wardrobe essentials are crafted to last season after season. Their Italian wool coats are real standouts. They're beautifully tailored, soft to the touch, and built to carry you through years of wear. Not just one season.

The quality shows in every detail. The stitching, the fit, the fabrics. Every piece is thoughtfully designed to be your new wardrobe essential. And like everything from quince, each piece is made from premium materials in ethical-trusted factories that are priced far below what other luxury brands charge. I can't tell you how much I am loving my new cashmere sweater. It's a staple for sure, and I can't wait to give one to my best friend for her birthday this year. It is timeless, gorgeous, and the softest thing I've ever touched. Which quince pieces are you interested in it?

I mean, from the bags to the denim, to the sweaters, to the jackets, they're all incredible luxury high-end products without the high-end price. Refresh your wardrobe with quince. Don't wait. Go to quince. com slash confidence for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash confidence to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash confidence. So for those of you who don't know me, I was reminded of this the other day on social media and I did a post about it, so I'm going to actually share it with you.

There's new people coming in to the show and listen to the show all the time. So I just want to share a little bit of background for anyone that might not know the story. And for those of you that do, I'll add some new things to it so that you can get some new value, hopefully. But, you know, my whole background was really in growing up in Worcester, Massachusetts, and starting working when I was like 10 years old, I had a paper route, and then busing tables, and then working in fast food restaurants, and then waitressing restaurants, and then bartending and ultimately developing all these skills that helped me to accept. in sales, right, dealing with people, which was great. And going to college and graduating, I got

right into sales. I went to work for the Gala Winery. I was the youngest brand manager in the country, and then I got sexually harassed by my boss, who was a real jerk, by the way. And back then, you know, people didn't really talk about sexual harassment. And, you know, it was, I was embarrassed that it happened to me. I remember I had kept a journal, P.S., if you're not keeping a journal, start now. It's so helpful. And powerful. And powerful. and insightful into who you are and helped me in this way. I'd kept a journal, and when it came time for me to quit, I called a meeting with the owner. I wanted him to know, and I gave him my journal. Because I so wanted that man fired because he was such a bad guy and hurt me. I was like 21 years old,

right, or 22 years old or something so ridiculous and had no idea. And he treated me horrible. And I had documented everything. And I didn't want to sue them or because I was afraid it would leave this stigma with me that I'm like a lawsuit happy person or a problem employee. And so sadly, you know, I didn't have the courage or confidence to stand up for myself. I gave my journal to the owner because I wanted him to know this guy's a bad, bad guy, fire him so it doesn't happen to someone else. He didn't, by the way. And years later, he ended up firing him for other reasons. I'm sure that's because that tiger or leopard didn't change his spots. Anyhow, so I left there and I went to work for a radio company, a local radio company in Worcester, Massachusetts, had no idea what I was doing, right? It's funny selling radio advertisements because you can't touch it, you can't feel it, you can't see it, it's a tough sell, right? So it might as well jump into sales with something completely not tangible, and I started figuring it out. And I started doing really, really well. And I got really close to the owner. He's such a good guy and not a dirtbag, a great.

human being and supporter of mine, and he was coaching me and training me, and I was making him a ton of money, and then my boyfriend cheated on me. That was a bummer moment, and I lost my mind. I was, like, coming off the rails. I thought I was going to marry him. I lived with him for years. And so I went to work a disaster, and my boss looked at me and said, what the heck happened to you? And I explained everything to him, and he said, okay, I want you to get on a plane with me. But I want you to get on this plane for one reason and one reason only to make a lot, a lot of money and make you a really successful young lady on your own, on your merit, on who you are and develop a name for yourself and a massive bank account. What do you think? And I said yes. He wouldn't tell me where we were going. But all I knew, it's so funny now when I look back at this because these dark moments have these silver linings, I would have never taken that opportunity if that man hadn't cheated on me. Right. So all these these awful things had to happen to propel me to say, I'm willing to make the leap. I want something different. I want to move away. I would have never done that. Well, doing that was

crazy. He dropped me off in Sagina, Michigan, which is literally in the middle of nowhere, but I was so focused on my goal, which was we bought a company for $25 million. I was his equity partner, and my job was to accelerate revenues as fast as I could so we could sell it as quickly as possible. Well, clearly, I wanted to get out of Saginaw, Michigan. I had no reason to be there other than to make us money. I worked seven days a week, 20 hours a day. I mean, literally, I probably slept a couple of hours a night because I wanted to sell that thing so fast. And in under three years, we sold that thing for $55 million, a $30 million profit, making me a lot of money, clearly not as much as my partner. But at that age, you know, more money than I ever thought I was going to make.

really landed me on the map of this revenue generator and media. People heard about what I had done, and I had this credibility all of a sudden. So I just hope you noticed that, right? I came from nothing, and I taught myself sales from hustling and paper routes and bartending, and then that landed me in a really bad opportunity, which then landed me in radio, which then, when my boyfriend cheated on me, gave me the opportunity, we'll call it, to jump on a plane and go for something more. And so sometimes in your life, you could be going through a really low moment, hard time. You might not see it yet because you can't see the dots connect until you look back. But right now could be your moment that you could be jumping on that plane, right?

You could be opening that door to that massive opportunity. You've just got to be willing to go for it. So I'm so glad I did. And then from there, you know, I'll never forget my old boss said to me, well, what are you going to do? Are you going to take like a year off and go to Europe? And I said, what are you crazy? I'm going to go back to work. I need to work. I never thought back then the idea of like vacation and take it easy. I thought climb the ladder, like push yourself, go while you can. You're young.

You know, things are working. You're killing it. Go, go. I was so driven, which is so funny right now. If I had done a huge deal and netted my partners and myself millions of dollars, I'd be like, heck yeah, I'm taking a year off. Let's vacation. It's so different being 47 versus 27. Okay, so from there I jumped on a plane. I flew to Florida, Naples, and I pitched myself to this big, much bigger company, a publicly traded company, a job that didn't exist, which was VP of sales or their company. And they said, you know, why don't we give you a job here locally first as a director of sales? So basically, I took a much smaller job than what I had just been doing for my old partner. And I did it because I knew I needed to build trust and credibility within the organization. And I knew I could do that quickly because I could get results. Right? So you need to develop that rapport, develop that trust. And so really quickly, within a few months, I accelerated revenues in the small market I was in. Remember, I took a big step back and pay, a big step back entitled to do this. But I knew if I could get their trust that I could, you know, leapfrog everyone and go to the next level quick. And I was right. So anyway, so then I met with the president of the company and I said, listen, here's the thing. You've got a huge missed opportunity. I put myself in his shoes. I'm, I can make this company blow up from a revenue standpoint by a couple of different tactics that I can deploy that I just did in Sagin' Ambition. I can do it here for the company. I've got a proven track record of success.

You've seen what I can do in your small market in a very short window of time. Extrapolate that across the entire organization. We're talking hundreds of millions of dollars. I can make you look like a rock star. It won't take any further work from you. You know how much I respect you, will communicate with you and support you. there's nothing here but rainbows and lollipops, like, let's do it. He said no. Turns out he needed his father's permission, which I did not know. And I didn't find that out until I went to resign to him,

right? Because back then I didn't have kids and I hadn't bought a home there yet. I was just renting. And I thought if these people aren't going to give me this opportunity, they're crazy. I'll go find a bigger job somewhere else. So I did. And I called him to meet him for lunch. And I just said, listen, if you're not going to give me that rule, I just want to let you know, I'm accepting a big job. in Boston. And that's when he ran out, called his dad, got the approval for me to take on VP of sales, and that's when I learned. Never ask someone who can only give you a no, never ask them for a yes, because you'll be in a really bad situation. So I was asking someone to give me a yes, but he never had the high sign to do it, right? The right person for me to ask would have been

his father, but I was asking the wrong person and I was completely unaware and I never want that for you. So always qualify if somebody actually can sign off on something or if they need somebody else's permission before you ask because I was basically wasting my time. Okay, so he gets his dad on board. His dad says yes, they give me the position or promote me to this new title, VP of sales. I get promoted three more times, become the cheap revenue officer. During my tenure there, we were billing a hundred million annually the year I took over, and then whatever it was, a decade later, we were doing hundreds of millions annually. You know, we were killing it. Our stock had jumped up huge. I was named one of the most influential women in radio. And then three weeks later,

the CEO I had worked for for 14 years became ill, and he elevated his daughter to replace him. And she was my arch nemesis, my enemy number one. And she fired me immediately. You know, when that whole moment was so earth-shattering. I look back now, it's, you know, a little over four years ago, and I can see it so differently. Because like with anything, any hard moment you're going to have in your life, yeah, it sucks in the moment. No one likes it. I didn't like getting fired. It was awful. But when I look back at it, I see why it had to happen. I had outgrown the position in the company I was in. And when you're shrinking yourself to fit in somewhere you've already outgrown, you're not live into your potential. You're not living your best life and you're not making the world a better place

to the way and level that you could. And so that day sucked, but I look back and I know it was a complete and total gift that set me on a totally different trajectory and path that has led me to figure out my purpose, my bigger picture mission and life and really start stepping into my potential in ways I never considered doing before. Here's a great example of that. If you haven't found your purpose or mission yet. This is so for you because years ago I was speaking, I was headlining at a National Association of Broadcasters event. Thousands of people were in attendance and I was speaking. Part of my job back then was on behalf of the company. I would travel a lot of different places, client events, association events, my own company events, and I would give keynote speeches.

It was part of my job. I didn't get paid for it. It was just expected as, you know, executive of the company, you need to do this. And so I didn't know about the speaking business. I just was a good speaker because I spoke all of the time for 20-something years. And I knew what I was talking about and I had put the reps in, right? I had done a lot of speeches. So I gave this speech at the National Association of Broadcasters in Texas. I think it was Austin, Texas. This is probably, gosh, I don't know, eight years ago. And this is back when I was still in corporate. And people went wild. They were screaming, going crazy. When I got off the stage, everyone was rushing me. And I remember that moment. I felt like magic. I remember things.

thinking like, gosh, I wish this could be my job every day. This is pure magic. It's so fun and I'm really good at it. And so if you ever have that moment in your life that just feels like magic, but then you shake your head and say, well, there's no money here and I can't pay my bills with this. This is crazy. Don't do that. That's what I did. For years, I walked away from that idea of this magic and I went back to work. And that's not the answer. The answer was what I should have done. I should have started Googling speaking business. Is there a speaking business? How could I ever make money speaking?

I should start talking to people and trying to figure out and really put it out to the universe. This is what I want to do. Don't know how it can work, but I need to start asking questions and having conversations and opening doors. And I didn't do that. However, as you probably know by now, you know, I get fired. I put a post up on social media and it said, I've just been fired if I've ever helped you in any way. I need to hear from you now. And people told me to take that post down.

They said I looked so pathetic. And I listened to the one voice and opinion that matters. And that is your own. And my voice was telling me, my opinion was telling me, I don't look pathetic. I didn't do anything bad. That lady just didn't like me. I don't feel embarrassed about it.

And then I Googled, has anyone successful ever been fired? Turns out, Steve Jobs, Oprah Winfrey, J.K. Rowling, Mark Cuban. The list goes on and on. Heather Monaghan, yes, in good company. I decided to reframe it. I have not been rejected. I have been redirected to something so much bigger and so much better for me. So I rocked that post and that post landed me on the Elvis Durant show. And halfway through that interview, he says to me, well, obviously you're writing a book, but I wasn't. I had always thought of myself as the social one, you know, the sales one and that you have to stay in that sales lane.

And it was that moment that man spoke a belief in a truth and a conviction into me that I decided to grab that truth and conviction and run with it. So if you ever have something to say to someone, if you ever have a feeling or calling that you want to say something, speak that truth into them. You can truly change the trajectory of their lives. And he did that day for me. I'm so grateful for that. I jumped on a plane. I googled, how do you write a book? It said, just start writing.

So I started writing. And within a few months, I said, I've got to go bigger. I need to find someone who has done this before. I hired an editor. I invested in myself. And we brought that book, Confidence Creator, to life in May of 2018, only months after I had been fired. And that book went number one on Amazon and Trump, Donald Trump, who was then president,

for number one on the business biography list. And yes, I have a screenshot to prove that one. Super proud. Okay. So from there, I Googled, how do you sell books? And it said, speak. I thought, oh, my gosh, great. I'm so good at speaking.

And then I went down the rabbit hole of cold calling companies and saying, hey, I'll come and speak you by my books. And then one day someone said, what's your speaker fee? And I Googled speaker fees. And I realized Gary Vaynerchuk was getting $350,000 a speech back then in 2018. And that's when I said, wait a minute, there is a speaker business. How did I not know this? And I just went all in on speaking.

and I got hired to interview Sarah Blakely live on stage at a sales and marketing conference in Boston in 2019. And I gave my TEDx talk and my speaking business took off until the pandemic hit. And then it disappeared overnight. And again, it's like one of those things. In the moment, it sucks. Everything sucks when the hard times come. But when you look back, I see, even though I hate to say it, it was actually a blessing in disguise, right? Getting thrown into that pandemic and losing my speaking business.

forced me to launch a consulting and coaching business, which landed me on the board of directors of HealthLink. I wouldn't have my board seat if it wasn't from my consulting and coaching program. So one of the people that hired me was the CFO of HealthLink, and we developed a rapport in relationship over the pandemic, and he believed in me so much that he pulled the CEO in to meet me and said, she's got to join our board. She's amazing. And I have been pitching myself for a board for over a decade at the company that fired me. And here's what I've learned when you're sitting at a table surrounded with people that don't actually want you there, there's nothing wrong with you. You're in the wrong room. Get up from that table, leave that room and go find a room where people

want you at the table. And that's exactly what happened for me during COVID is I found that table. And those people loved me. And they cheer me on when I walk in the door. And our last board meeting, I had to do it. Virtually my son was on spring break. And they were so bummed out. I wasn't there. right? And it's just so funny to, I'm finally with the right people. And that's what I want for you. Okay. So then the pandemic is when I wrote and published with HarperCollins leadership, Overcome Your Villains, right? It gave me the time to finish my book project and launch my book. And, you know, a lot of great things happened. Was it easy? No. My son was on virtual school. I became Zoom School Lunch Lady, which was pure hell. And I'm an extrovert. I like to be in front of people, not

sitting at home all days. Listen, there's been a lot of tough moments. Living in a building during COVID was a not so great moment. But there's been a lot of things that have been really positive because of it. And the bigger picture takeaway I have from it was my whole life, I try to muscle everything. Like, I try to just get out and outwork everybody. And like, I literally physically make things happen. And it's worked, right? I keep finding success that way. But it's really hard. The pandemic, I couldn't do that. I couldn't get out of my house. and like stroll up to people and make things happen. And I had to be at peace and sit at home.

And it was really, really hard for me. So I had to say there's got to be a better way. Maybe there's a way for me to start receiving abundance and receiving opportunities instead of forcing them. And I've started leaning into this whole forgiving people from my past, forgiving myself, being open to great things just coming to me and accepting and look at what's been happening, even just the past couple of weeks, right? It's a huge mind shift.

And I'm starting to learn that's such a late time in life, there's a couple of important elements to success. The most important one, in my opinion, is your mindset, how you think, what you believe, what you feel. The second thing is your tactics, your strategies, your experiences, your expertise, right? The things you've learned along the way and how you can leverage and apply those things to advance faster than competitors or innovative in different ways. So there is the traditional business acumen way, which can be.

built, you know, through school, through experience, through work, through whatever. But the big way, the most important way is really the mentality that you're bringing to it, your belief systems, right? If you're living in fear and freezing, or if you're living in the possibility and hope and moving forward and if you're willing to attract things to you and receive them, or if you believe you only can get it, if you white knuckle everything and scrape and scrape by. So I really changed the way that I think and believe in a profound way in the last two years. And I'm starting to see miracles. I think it's a miracle that that neighbor came up to me and told me to sell my house. I think it's a miracle that the lady let me out of my country. These aren't things I had to

fight in white knuckle. They were asks and responding. And that's what I want for you. Success doesn't have to be white knuckling all the time. Granted, there will be moments when it is going to be. Right? So it isn't just all butterflies and rainbows, but there are a lot more butterflies and rainbows than I realized. I was just so focused on white knuckling them. So no more white knuckling. Let's let go and embrace the possibility of things coming to us and start watching it happen for you because it is happening for me and I know it can happen for you. I am sure of that. And if you haven't heard the Kathy Heller episode was a couple of weeks ago, go back and listen to it. She's so living the dream and this stuff. And her podcast, I mean, she's got millions of downloads a month. I mean, she's killing it financially in every way, right? She's living her best life. She's where I want to be.

And she's all about receiving. She's not about white knuckling and she's about allowing. And it's just, again, I'm not probably ever going to be never white knuckling because I do like to get out and make things happen and take massive action and go for it. That's just who I am. But I'm getting so much better of balancing out both sides. And the more I do that, the more opportunity comes to me. That's what I want for you, too. It's just to embrace that, right?

I'm not saying traditional business and traditional business models don't make sense and have massive value. Of course they do. But what I'm finding in the weirdest way is the biggest holdback I had was my belief system and the way that I saw things and with the way that I thought things had to be. They didn't have to be that way. So I've sort of unlocked this massive opportunity right now and really just in the past year, year and a half, and it's been really powerful. So I hope that provides you some insight. I hope that

helps you in some way. Okay. So that was like a little high level of who your girl, Heather is. Okay, so I got a question. I want to answer this one before I leave you today. This is from Facebook DM, someone sent me. So I was talking out loud to myself and brainstorming this morning. One question came across my mind and I'm not sure how to solve, so I thought I'd ask you. I have a habit of being a people pleaser and giving others the power of situations. I'm currently trying to break that habit, but have created a reputation for allowing others to know they possess that power. How do I put down my foot and make known to those people that they will no longer have that power? Okay, so there's a lot of people with these issues, right?

And I remember for me, even in corporate America with that nasty villain I dealt with, there were times I would shrink myself and, you know, I would not speak up when I wanted to, right? I would not be living my best, strongest, most powerful life because I had fear of, getting fired or fear of, you know, what that lashback would look like. First thing, anytime you have a goal, you want to write it down. You're 90% more likely to achieve something if you write it down and revisit it daily, right? That's fact. That's just getting clear on what you're going to. If you want to lose five pounds, you're writing down your goal weight, you're weighing

yourself every day to check in. You've got to do the same thing here. So you need to journal. You need to write down what your goal is. You're going to write down, I am the most powerful version of myself. I speak my mind and feel at ease doing so. I am so proud. of how I stand up for myself and create healthy boundaries that respect me and those around me. I surround myself with people that encourage me, cheer me on, and respect me too. Right, like something like that. So just write down what your goals are. Get a vision of what that looks like.

And if you haven't ever been that person in your life, take a picture of whoever you think is that person or whoever you know in your life that does represent in that way. There's someone, right? Get that visual and put it somewhere in your home on your computer because I want you to be thinking of it all the time. And you can channel that other person, right, going into these situations. I get it. To this point, people think that you're just going to yes them and do whatever they want. But that's changed now.

Now we have this new vision for ourselves. That was yesterday. Today's different, which is fine. People shave their head and cut their hair off. And that's fine too, right? You can make different choices. That's your choice. And so today you show up and you are full of.

boundaries and self-respect and confidence. How about that? Right. So you're stepping into that meeting, that situation, as this new version 2.0. Now, you're clear on channeling that other persona, because it's fine to do that until you step into it fully yourself. Beyonce channels Sasha Fierce when she goes on stage. I've channeled so many different people in difficult meetings and getting on stages until I was able to channel just me, right? But it's fine during this learning period to do that. It's fine to practice at home, too, by the way. Right. That's something else I've done. I'd write a script out. Okay, they're going to ask me if I can take another work trip tomorrow. How am I going to respond? I'm going to say, thank you so much for thinking of me. However,

my plate's full right now. Who do you think would be a better person to take that flight and make that trip on our behalf? Right. So you want to always stay calm. Calm is a superpower. Brevity is a superpower. You want to keep it brief. You don't need to apologize. You don't need to explain. You don't need to go off on some tangent. Nobody needs that. We need to be concise and powerful in our word choices. And you're going to make mistakes. And that's okay too. And when you do make those mistakes, think of your child or think of a loved one. I always think of my son. When I make a big mistake, I think, how would you speak to your son about this, Heather? I wouldn't say, you idiot. Why did you do that? You blew it. Oh my gosh. I would not do that. I would instead say something like,

today is a new day. And today we can make better choices and better choices are going to deliver us better outcomes. I can't wait to see how you do it today. Excited for you. I believe in you. Right. So be your own number one cheerleader and speak to yourself in a kind and loving way. Give yourself some grace. You're building this version 2.0 of you. And Rome's not built in a day, right? We're going to have some ups and downs. But if we keep the path, if we have the faith, that we keep the vision and we do the work? Oh, those results are so good. One of my coaching clients right now is going through this. I've been working with her for four weeks. The change I have seen in this woman is shocking. Nothing less than shocking. She listens to the show, so I'm so excited.

She's probably going to hear us right now. But it's so shocking. You know, not only she putting up boundaries at work, not fighting with people, staying calm, staying in her power, not justifying, apologizing, explaining herself, but staying calm and letting them know what's not going to work. And when people say, well, you used to do it, I understand. And at that point in time, I could handle that and that worked for me. At this point in time, that doesn't align with my priorities. P.S, your free time is your free time, right? You don't ever need to justify that to someone else who's saying you need to work at night and on the weekends. That's people trying to take advantage of you. When you create healthy boundaries for yourself, the only people that get mad are the jerks that

were taking advantage of your black boundaries, right? So start to realize that and think to yourself, Do they treat so-and-so that way? No, they don't treat that guy like that at all. No, they would never. He's got really strong boundaries, super confident. They would never talk to him like that. Well, then start channeling that guy when you show up until you can start stepping into your own power.

So I've seen it happen so many times. I've done it myself. I've been through it myself. It is possible. You need to believe it first. You need to write it down. You need to have that vision. You need to hold your vision.

You need to practice. You need to give yourself grace when you make mistakes and fumble backwards. And you need to pick yourself right back up. and re-engage again and hold that vision of who you know you have the potential to be and you will become that person. So I can't wait to hear from you. Let me know any questions you have for the show. I would love to answer them. Know that I do believe in you. I'm grateful for you. And I'm so hopeful that you like this episode. If you did, share it on social media. When you tag me, you will win either my audiobook for confidential.

creator or for Overcome Your Villains. That's right. Share this show today and you will win the audiobook for Confidence Creator or Overcome Your Villains. You get to choose. I'm letting you pick. So grateful for you. So grateful for you being here today. Please share the show. I can't wait to hear what you think of my books. I love them. And the reviews are off the charts. All right. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. me.