Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #220: EMBRACE The Fear Of The Unknown With Heather!

Episode Date: May 25, 2022

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Living in uncertainty    Valuing yourself   How to create opportunities   Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  Unexpected and uncertain means ANYTHING can happen. A MASSIVE opportunity could be right in front of you! When you embrace the unknown, it makes way for NEW experiences, and NEW forms of success. Everything happens FOR you, not TO you, so don’t forget how valuable you are! Shift your mindset to embrace your confidence so you can step into the unknown FEARLESSLY. 

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so excited. You're back here with me today. All right, so I got to shoot you straight.

There is a lot going on, and it's been a little chaotic. Unexpected is the word that we're going to use. And so I'm reminding myself this week that unexpected, uncertain means everything is available to us. Anything can happen and there's massive opportunity, right? Versus how it used to be when I was in corporate America and it was more like Groundhog Day. I could predict everything. I knew what was going to happen. Living in uncertainty and finding the confidence to stand at it and say, no matter what, I'm going to be okay.

I truly believe that's one of the big keys to life. and it's not easy. It's not easy for your girl either. P.S., right? Who's with me on that one? But I just keep reminding myself about it. So here's what is going on. I know I've talked to you a little bit about this, but I'm going to give you a little bit more insight today. So randomly, I also don't think it's random. I've been putting it out to the universe for a while that I want to move back, you know, in 2018 when I was engaged. I was supposed to be getting married and we were moving into a home. my son and I have been living in a condo. I've been living here for 16 years. He's been living here for 14 of those years since he was born, right? This is where he's lived his whole life. And we're in a two-bedroom

condo. The pandemic was awful because we don't have a lot of space, right? It's great, not during a pandemic, because we live on the ocean and it's beautiful and we're in South Beach. And, you know, that's all great. However, during a pandemic, it just changed how we felt about it, right? Because being in a little condo in a building is tough during a pandemic. So we both felt like, oh my gosh, we need to move into a house or a larger condo or just we need space, right? We're on top of each other. He was Zoom schooling. I was working out in the kitchen. It just, it didn't work well. Let's just be honest. Let me shoot you straight here. Some people lived their best life in the pandemic. We did not. Okay. I know some of you totally feel me on that too, right? So,

So anyhow, it's been a goal of mine. I had no idea how it was going to happen. I bought this condo in 2005, which was at the height of the real estate bubble. It crashed just a couple years later. So I paid top dollar for this condo. So I kind of thought, okay, listen, you make an investment when you buy property. Many times in my life, I had made money on the properties that I bought and sold, I just figured this one I'd own forever and I'd rent it out, you know, when I'm older and I do finally get married or whatever. That's kind of the way I was thinking about it. Okay, but Anyhow, since the pandemic, I keep putting it out to the universe that we're moving. We're living in our new, beautiful, spacious, amazing home. It's closer to my son's school. My son is in the car for literally two hours a day, going back and forth to school. He's far too far from school. And I'm driving like a madman, which is not ideal and waste a lot of time and causes stress, blah, blah, blah. So I'm always looking for ways to find an easy button. So one of them would be, if miraculously we could sell this condo or something. thing could happen and we didn't have to live here anymore and we could live closer to my son's

school in a more spacious location, right? At least something with an office, a third bedroom, so that I don't have to be working and shutting him in his room all the time, not ideal. Okay. So I've been putting that out there for a while now, at least a year, if not longer. Well, wouldn't you know, randomly two months ago, I come home one evening and my neighbor grabs me, my next door neighbor, and says, Heather, you can't believe this. We just sold our property. We're moving. And, And I said, you're kidding me. I was so surprised.

She said, oh, my gosh, we killed it. We made a fortune. And I thought, oh, that's interesting. She said, yeah, you need to speak to our realtor. And I just, I'd heard that the Florida market was hot, but I just never thought my property would be able to sell for a game. I said, okay, the next day I opened my door and there's a ticket note on my door with the realtor's number.

Heather, call him. So I text the guy literally same day, he has his team come over to appraise my property. and wouldn't you know, I'm shocked, so serendipitous, they say to me, oh yeah, you can make some money off this place right now. So I said, how long do you think it will take to sell? They said it took your neighbor seven days. Literally, there's so many people interested in this building and there's nothing available. I said, all right, let's do it. So they said the first step was I had to get rid of everything and anything in my condo because you wanted to create space, right? Because that's one of the challenges. Picture it's like living in New York these day. There's so many people and not a lot of

space. So they said, get rid of everything to create space. So we gave everything and anything away. In a matter of five days, I emptied this condo out. And P.S, it was such a great feeling. Wherever you are in your home, condo apartment, rented, owned, whatever, just get rid of anything you haven't used in the last six months. Give it away. You will feel so light. It's so nice. And you'll like your home better. I wish I had done that years ago. Because now I actually think it's so beautiful here. And I hadn't been feeling that way for a while because I let old things pile up. And I just didn't take action and clear it out. Right. Create the space. Spring cleaning. Do it now. This is my call to action to you. You will thank me later. I'm totally loving my condo again right now.

And it's funny that we're looking to leave. Okay. So I'm anticipating great. Seven days. Let's get this thing up. So we get the condo listed. It's up. We had so many showings. And P.S. what a pain in the butt it is to be showing where you live. And I work from home, right? I'm recording this right now from my kitchen table. So the challenge is you have to find places to go because the realtor, I defer to the realtor, right? They're the experts. Last time I sold a home with 16 years ago. I am far from an expert. So I just kept asking my realtor. You tell me you're the expert, what should I do? He said, get out of here. You don't want to be here when people are coming to look at your property because they want to ask questions and they want to feel comfortable. And I said, okay, You're the expert. This guy's selling millions of dollars a month in property in Miami Beach. So I said, okay, default to you, defer to you. I will find places for myself to go. So I would go to Pura Vita. I would go to workout. Sometimes I'd sit in my car, whatever it took, because some of these showings were last minute. One time they called us at night and said, we have someone that wants to come right now. I made my son go to the gym and I sat at the pool at 7.30 at night, right? Like whatever it takes, that's kind of my attitude. We're going all in. We're doing this. And little did I know, not all sellers are that way. I'll give you that insight in a minute.

So we showed the condo a ton, and within the first two weeks, I think we had four or five all cash offers, which is crazy. None of them were for the actual asking price, right? There were all these like contingencies, or it was a little bit less, or one woman made an offer, and then she had an amendment to it, and then it turns out her husband never approved it, so that one got pulled. There was just all these weird things that occurred that I didn't even realize, you know, what happened. So we ended up going into a contract with an all-cash buyer for a little less than our asking price. But there were a lot of red flags along the way, right? So we had the signed deal. Now, I guess the way that it works is you get a deposit right when they sign the deal, a small deposit. And then two weeks later, or once the inspection is cleared, you get a huge deposit, right?

So people don't back out after that happens. And so the realtor's teaching me this. He's the expert. So he says, don't sign a contract because now, p.S., the pressure comes back to me. I have to find a place for me and my son to live. Miami is one of the hottest property markets in the world right now. And I have to find something very, very quickly so that we have a home to live in. So I figured I'm just going to rent for a year, let this market cool off a little bit. That's kind of my attitude. And I wasn't worried about it. I said, you know what? We'll find the right place. It'll be closer to my son's school. It's going to work. Well, I start looking. Oh, my. gosh, the properties are so expensive. It's crazy. It was shocking. Literally, rental properties have doubled versus where they were, you know, back before the last year and this rush on Miami occurred. So I had no idea what I was getting myself into. I still wanted to sell, obviously, and take that pressure of owning, you know, a home and being stuck in a condo and blah, blah, blah. So I just, I want to, I'm clear that I want to sell, don't know exactly where I want to go. and my realtor is telling me, don't sign anything until we get that massive deposit and you're

insured that you're moving. So things are changing fast, right? And it gets stressful because I have a child in school. It wouldn't be as stressful if it was just me, but I need to make sure he knows he has a safe home. He's situated. You know, you're all set. Just you worry about school. I'll take care of the rest. So on the weekends and at night, I've been having him come with me to look at different properties because, you know, there's downtown Miami. There's a little bit outside of down. Like, there's a lot of different areas, right? And so we've been looking around a lot of different places. I end up finding a place I absolutely love, and things move fast in this market. They could be gone in 24 hours, but I knew I couldn't sign the deal until we had the big deposit. Well, the big deposit

was due this past week. Wouldn't you know the day before? The inspection happens here. I had to do tons of construction, by the way, too. There was all these contingencies. I get everything done. It was crazy. We are, I call it Beirut. My life has been literally, like living in Beirut for the past 10 days. You cannot imagine the amount of time, work effort, and just craziness that's gone on here. Okay, but in my mind, it's all going to be worth it, right? I'm focusing on the end goal, selling the property, making the money, and getting, you know, really an adventure for me and my son to go live somewhere where we have more space and we're closer to his school and it's just going to be great. And I'm excited. And it's just

for a year, see how it goes and then we'll figure it out from there. I was really excited about it. Well, wouldn't you know, we passed the inspection and then, They announce, well, we heard that there's some legal issue, which legal issues happen with buildings all the time, right? Someone's always suing for something or, you know, a mad tenant or whatever. It's just part for the course. If you're going to live in a building in a major city, there's probably going to be some legal matter occurring. Well, I had never heard of it. My realtor had never heard of it.

Mind you, my realtor had sold, I think, six properties in my building in the last year. No buyer ever brought it up. These people brought it up. So he calls me and he says, listen, they just met with the head of your building and they're concerned. There was some legal issue with the valet and a tenant or whatever. It's so ridiculous. So I just said, you know what? These people are so picky.

Some things just not right. He said, well, let's just wait and see. While the big deposit was due, that's when they sent the notice. Either tell Heather to drop the price $100,000. This is what they're saying to us after they're two weeks into a contract. And I'm supposed to be moving out two weeks later. to me, this was a very dirty negotiation. Here's the thing.

I'm happy to negotiate with anyone on the front end. What I don't like or I don't respect is people trying to leverage a situation to their benefit. That's not good business. That's not good karma. That's not how I do business. So, you know, and I said, that's where I draw the line. I said, we have a deal. We have a contract.

And if they don't want to honor that contract and they want an out and they want to use this as they're out, then go ahead and let them, there are going to be other good buyers that are out there the world that sign a contract and want to honor it and respect it and move forward in good business. And for that, I know that's a fact. So I just said, forget it. Even though I had found the place I wanted to slip, I wanted so bad to sign the contract, just that idea of doing bad business doesn't sit right with me. And if you accept that, right, it's like you telling the universe in the world, okay, I'm not worth as much. Okay, I made a deal, but it doesn't really matter what I said because you're not respecting it. And I'm okay with that. No. This is one thing I've

learned in the past couple years is your little actions signal out to other people and to the world and to the other situations in life how you want to be treated. And I'm not going to be treated like that. That was clear to me. I've had enough experience, PS, doing it the wrong way, right? And I've talked to you a lot about this. The way we teach people to treat us is the way they're going to treat us. So if I had accepted that BS move on their part, that's teaching the world that it's okay to treat me that way. Well, it's not. So I kindly rejected that offer. My realtor was 100% on the same page with me. He said this was ridiculous, bad business, and not interested either. So we put the condos back on the market now. And it really was only on for two weeks, right? And then we were two weeks under a contract, which fell apart. And now we're back up now. So we had our first showing again today in the new world post this deal falling apart. And I forgot how much I have to clean and like get ready and panic and leave the keys for the real. It just, It's kind of crazy.

It's kind of intense. But I'm choosing to see it as this adventure and opportunity of something really exciting and unknown coming. And I've put it out there that I'm not going to let us be devalued or treated poorly. I'm not going to enter into bad business deals with people. So I'm sure there'll be a good business deal coming. And I'm excited for it. Am I sad that that property I really loved is probably going to be sold this week? Of course I am.

I'm not going to lie. Right? I really loved it. But I am willing to see. that maybe all of this is happening for me instead of to me. Yes, it is challenging. Yes, it is super stressful. Yes, my son's birthday is coming up in two weeks,

and I have no idea where I'm going to have a birthday party for him. Yes, we don't know where we're going to live a month from now. Yes, we don't know when this place is selling or where we're going to, you know, when we'll sign a contract. We have no idea. So much is up in the air, but I'm just choosing to see that this happened for me, that those were not the right buyers, that they didn't respect or value me or the property. And we want to do business with good people who do value us and value the property.

And when we value ourselves, we're going to find other valuable opportunities out there. That's what I'm choosing to believe. And that's the energy I am putting out there. And I am staying excited. I'm excited for what's going to come. And I will be back out there this weekend, looking at new properties again, because I don't want to limit myself. I want to open up the opportunities to what is possible, knowing that I have no idea what

that is, but we're going to find it or it's going to find us. I am really excited for it. So put out there, right, there's a fine line between fear and excitement. And yes, it can be scary, the unknown, but it can also be super exciting. Because when everything is uncertain, anything is possible. And that's how I'm choosing to move forward in this. And I hope you're choosing to move forward into your uncertainty that same way. When you want more, start your business with Northwest registered agent and get access to

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minutes. That's talkiatry.com slash confidence to get matched in minutes. A couple of things that came up this week that I wanted to share with you. One, the difference in realtors, right, and this isn't any business, this guy that's my realtor right now, the one that my neighbor gave me. So number one, this realtor came to me with a personal recommendation, right? they loved him. He sold the house in seven days. It was crazy. So I knew this guy was going to be good. My neighbors wouldn't have told me. Otherwise, there was a personal recommendation, a testimonial, right? So this is why you always want testimonials of your work and you always want client referrals. Those are the warmest leads you're going to get because there's trust already established.

But it was so clear, this guy is such a hustler. Wouldn't you know, during this whole first two weeks process, when we first put the condo on the market, I get an email from my building saying, hey, Heather, there's a problem. looks like there's a leak happening from your unit to the one beneath you. I've lived here 16 years, never had one problem. I said, you've got to be kidding me. I flipped it to my realtor to say, hey, I just want to be transparent with you. This just happened. I don't even know what to do. He started freaking out because obviously this could be a problem for someone wanting to buy the property. He said, we've got to get this fix, Heather, ASAP, and I don't know who to call to fix it. Let me make some calls. Well, wouldn't you know the next morning he calls me? He said, hey, I'm downstairs in your building.

I'm meeting with the head of the building right now. One of the contractors that works almost exclusively on your building is here. I just asked him if he could do it. He can start next week, which would be that next Monday. And I was so blown away by the fact that this young guy on his own volition just showed up in my building, started asking around, trying to find ways to create a solution instead of just saying, oh, Heather will have to take care of this and figure it out. He's that committed to getting deals done.

making things seamless for his clients, that's why people are recommending him to everyone. This is why he's closing millions of dollars in business each week. Yes, the market's hot, but people can choose which realtor they go to. I can promise you this. I will be giving his name to everyone. He not only did, I throw a problem at him, just asking for his expertise, but he went and solved the problem for me. And not from his home, not from his office. He jumped in his car and he drove over to my building, asking around, knocking on doors, asking for help, to find solutions. Now, that is a difference between a realtor that is killing it versus, as I mentioned for the past month, I've been out looking at properties at nights on the weekends with my son whenever I can,

and I will tell you it's far and few between that I'm finding any realtors with that same type of follow-up, conviction, and commitment. Let me give you an example. I saw a property I really liked. I messaged the guy, crickets. I sent an email, crickets. A week later, I got a response. Then I set up a time for a Saturday to meet him to see the property. I had my son with me. He showed up 30 minutes late to show us a property. He shows us a property. He had other people strolling it at the same time. He hadn't scheduled things. There was a lot of people. You couldn't ask questions. I didn't like the property. He tried to talk us into the property, even though I told him I don't like it. It's not like it. It is pictured. I really don't like this. This is not for us. He has another property. I said, let's go see it. He said, you can't see it today. I said, well, when can't I see it? He said, let's do next weekend. And then he says, here's my card. Call me or message me during the week to remind me you want to see it. I didn't intentionally. Never heard from him again. Can you believe this? Okay. So then other examples, I reached out to numerous realtors because I want to gain insight and understanding of what's available, what pricing looks like, you know, and I don't want to miss an opportunity if something is meant for us. So one of these realtors I reached out to, I was really interested. He had a number of properties. Today, I just heard from, this is almost a month later. Everything's a numbers game. I probably sent out 50 different emails. Today, almost a month later, I heard from this realtor saying, so glad you're interested, here's the updates on what's available. Let me know if you have questions. So no matter what business you're in,

you can either be the all-star that finds the solutions for people, hustles, returns phone calls immediately, at least within 24 hours, has a team supporting you making sure that no balls are dropped, or you can be these realtors that wait a week or even a month to get back to people. It is not shocking to see there is disparity in every industry, and it all comes down to the hustle and the commitment and the conviction of that person, not always having the right answer, right? My realtor didn't have the answer when I called him, but he jumped in his car the next day and came to my building and knocked on doors and asked for help and asked questions to find a solution. And he did.

And I'm happy to report back that after a little over a week of construction, my condo and you couldn't hear or do anything, we now have a fixed bathroom and we are ready to sell again. So I will keep you updated on that. Also this week, something interesting happened. A good friend of mine had been unhappy at her job for a while. She works for a company, had been there for a while and things progressively, you know, nothing horrific, but progressively started unwinding, really unhappy, dreading going to work, right? And she knew, I've got to get out of here. So she thought, okay, I'm going to start talking to people and see what I can find. So for a couple of months, she made the decision in her mind. She would leave, but she wanted to find a job first.

I'm sure you've done this before. A lot of us have done this, whether it would be a relationship or a job, whatever, you start thinking, okay, I'm not happy, but I'm not really ready to jump yet. So she's so funny. She calls me and says, Heather, I wasn't finding anything, even though I was talking to all these people, letting people know I was looking. She said, I finally just said, forget it. She said, and I quit. She said, even though my husband was mad at me, I didn't have a job lined up, nothing. She said, I just realized, I just have to get out of here. So she quit. guess what happened that following week after she quit? People started calling her. And she said, I'm so shocked. It's so weird. I have so many opportunities now that I actually quit. I said,

why do you think that is? And she said, maybe because I'm not so consumed with my current day job that I'm able to follow up with people and I'm not so burnt out negative. I'm sending off a bad vibe. But I said, that could be part of it. But I also believe the other part is you make a statement when you leave a relationship or you leave a job or you know you leave a friendship where someone's not treating right you make a statement about who you are what you'll tolerate and what you won't and what you're ready for next when you stay in it you're making the statement that this is fine and good enough for you so it's a bit about what she had said in regards to her energy and her ability to focus and follow up yes i agree with that but the other piece is really

what you're stating you're allowing for and you're okay okay with. So if you are unhappy at your job, if you are unhappy in a relationship, figure out a way to pull the trigger and make the announcement to yourself, to your people, to your world, to the universe, that you are done and that is not good enough for you. And you are opening that door to opportunity. And watch once you pull that trigger, how things begin to change for you. And I promise you they will. I saw it firsthand with my friend and she was shocked by it. I was not shocked by it because, similarly, I was super unhappy at my old job. I started having conversations out last year with people about, you know, where should I go and potentially

hiring me and, you know, kind of thinking about it. And nothing miraculously fell on my lap until that day that villain thought she fired me. I actually fired my number one villain. I put that post up saying I needed help that landed me on the Elvis Durant show. And that's when he told me, you're writing a book. And my entire life and the trajectory of my business changed overnight because I severed ties with what wasn't serving me anymore and was able and willing to step into the unknown. Now, back then, I was not very good at stepping into the unknown. I'm not going to lie to you.

I was so freaked out. I was having panic attacks. I was disaster. I couldn't speak. I couldn't function. But here I am four years later. And I'm actually starting to understand that the power is in standing in the uncertain and being certain with knowing you're going to be okay and knowing those right opportunities

and doors will open and having that fate and not losing it. And that's where I'm standing today. That's where I want you to be able to stand because we will never control everything that's happening outside of us. We will only control how we feel, how we choose to see things and how we choose to see things are unfolding for the best interests of ourselves. So take that attitude today, Run with it. I'm running with it today. I'm using it as a reminder that this uncertainty means anything is possible. It's happening for me, not to me, and I'm super excited. I can't wait to see what is ahead of me. It's going to be an adventure and it's going to be a great one. And I'm so glad you're on this adventure with me. If you like this episode, please share it. Tag me in your post. And when you do, you can get either my confidence creator, Audible book, or you can get Overcome Your Villains on an audiobook as well. I think you're I think it's on Google Play, but happy to gift that to you. Please share it. Sharing helps to promote the show, helps grow the show, and helps tell me which episodes you actually like.

If there's a question you want me to answer, go ahead and DM me anywhere on social media or go to heathermonahan.com and leave me a message there. I will always answer your questions live on the show. Looking forward to seeing you next week. Keep creating confidence. You know I will be.