Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #254: In With The NEW & Out With Old, With Heather!

Episode Date: September 21, 2022

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Letting go  Embracing NEW blessings  Leveling UP Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  There is a beauty in letting things go! I’VE OFFICIALLY MOVED, and oh boy, is it a LOT of work! I’m taking on a new adventure and I’m open to ALL the possibilities. I’m releasing what was holding me back, and focusing on leveling UP. Take my advice, get rid of the things you don’t need anymore, so you can make room for new blessings NOW! 

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, so a lot is going on. A lot has transpired in the last week, and I want to get you up to speed.

And here's two reasons why. One is, thanks for listening to the show, by the way, because you really really, get the insight in what's happening. So often people will only see me on social media or see others on social media and just assume things are going really easy for other people or everyone seems to have it so together. And it was funny. I saw a woman posted this really beautiful post about she was moving into this beautiful new home with our family. And she was saying these blessings for the new home. And it just looked so perfect and so easy. And there was no way. And there was no boxes and everything just looked amazing. And I thought, oh my gosh, that's such BS. Because

here's the thing. If you've been with me for a while, you know that since, oh, my gosh, since April, we've been in the process of selling my condo, which I've lived in for 17 years. It's the only place my son's lived his whole entire life, which is a big deal. And we finally got it sold. It just sold about a week ago. And I'm recording this today from my new condo, which is so crazy, I made the decision. It's the first time since I was in my early 20s that I didn't buy another home I rented. And here's why. I like this idea of an adventure, right? And I know it sounds kind of crazy, but I had lived in the same place for 17 years and really was in that routine. And I just thought, oh my gosh, what would be cooler than to

step out of that, you know, known areas? known lifestyle and just have an adventure for a year and see what happens. See if I like this new area that I moved to. See if I like the building that I moved to. See what happens and really open yourself up to this possibility, which is super, super exciting in my opinion, especially after living somewhere for 17 years. However, what I wasn't prepared for is number one, oh my gosh, do you know how much stuff you accumulate over 17 years that you don't need that you've totally forgotten about that is so irrelevant. It's ridiculous. And someone gave me the great advice that pick something up when you're getting ready for the move. And if it doesn't bring you

joy or make you instantly feel love, trash it. And so that's how I moved through this move, which was unreal. I'm so glad I did it that way. I got rid of so much stuff. P.S., my last condo was so much smaller than my new condo. I used to live in South Beach, which is one of the most expensive places in the world to live. And so I moved out of there into Miami, and it's a lot less expensive where I live now. So I was able to get a much bigger location, which is so great. But I literally threw out so much stuff that moving in here, I thought, oh, I'll have nothing. I still have so much stuff. Right. So my point to you is this, when you purge and just get rid of things that aren't bringing you joy, aren't bringing you love, aren't adding value to you,

you create space for other positive things to happen. So please, this week, go through your house, go through one room and just start dumping some of this stuff that you've accumulated. Because if you're anything like me, you might be sitting on so much stuff that does nothing, doesn't add value. And as part of your past, you can let go of it and move on from and create space for some new opportunity and adventure and exciting things to happen. And so I'm really grateful I did that. But back to my point of that woman with her beautiful post, oh my gosh, moving is arduous. It's a lot of work way more than I anticipated. and unpacking is a lot of work. Luckily, shout out to my amazing BFF in Miami, Sam.

She came over and helped me all day, unpacking boxes, making decisions on where to put different things and how to set up rooms. And she was just amazing. So I'm so grateful for the amazing friendships I have in my life and people who show up when I need them. It's incredible. And I'll tell you, it was just such a mess for a few days. And I'm starting to get, We're getting rid of so many boxes and starting to pair things down. But I guess my point is this. It isn't just beautiful and perfect when you show up and you move into a new place. And it's not beautiful and perfect when you sell a place. I was crying many days last week when I was packing because I was finding old notes and cards that were sent to me. So much of it from my best friends from my whole life from New England that I've been ride or dies with since I was 15 years old. And they're so special to me. And it was so special to me. And it was. such a cool way to remember all the things we've been through. I'm also going home for a wedding with all of them in another month, and I can't wait. It's just such a, it's such a cool part of my life that I've known people, you know, and people have known me since I was 15 years old and have

been a part of everything I've gone through. And, you know, it's so important to keep great friends close. And the grass is greener where you water it, right? And so we need to show up for them and pour into them and support them because it always comes back in the end. So I'm so grateful and going through all the old pictures and cards and letters and, oh my gosh, it was such an emotional week. And at one point, my son had to say to me, mom, stop crying. This is what you prayed for. And it truly is. I was praying for us to get off the beach because the traffic has been so bad and we spend so much time in the car. It's ridiculous. I'm sure if anyone lives in a city with massive traffic, you can totally feel my pain. You just feel like you're wasting. You just feel like you're

wasting a lot of your life when you look at it, you know, every day that my son and I sit on a causeway for at least an hour a day. And now we don't have to be on that causeway anymore. It's literally like hitting the easy button and just making your life easier. So if there is some way, you can hit an easy button for you. Think about what it is. I had no idea I'd be able to sell my condo. I just knew if I could get off the beach, I'd be closer to my son's school. I wouldn't have to drive as much. And it would be like hitting an easy button. I didn't know how that was going to play out. I just kept putting it out there, that intention that I was going to move, and somehow I was not going to have to live on the beach anymore and sit in this traffic anymore.

And, you know, just coming up with that intention and focusing on what I wanted to occur and allowing possibility truly allows you to start thinking of what potentials could happen. And you don't need to know how it's going to unfold. Just focus on what it is that you ultimately want and see what happens. Be open to that possibility. And it certainly was not, smooth. It was not, you know, we had so many offers on my condo that fell through, so many contracts that fell through. I was beyond discouraged, but it just reminds you to go back to having faith, believe that things are going to work out, and here I am today, months later, to tell you, it all does work out in the end. So my son was right. I had to stop crying and getting, you know,

dragged down and old letters, old relationships, things that didn't come to fruition because going through all these old papers, you know, can take you on that spiral. But in the end, it really is a blessing to look back, see who you were when you were younger, what you've come through, and how it's made you so much stronger, how it's given you such clarity, right? All these challenging situations I've been through have really helped me to strengthen my faith, to feel more confident in myself and that I can tackle anything. So this is my year of possibility. I hope you join me. It's going to be an adventure. I am in an all in kind of mode. I'm just going for it. I'm going to allow whatever possibility to happen to come to me and be open to it.

And so already my son and I have met so many new people in this new area. It's super exciting. And, you know, it's interesting. When you live in one place for a really long time, you see all the same people, right? It's the same routine. And that becomes your norm, your standard, right? like you set the bar there. Well, I will tell you, I lived in a very nice building before, but the service in this new building and the people in this new building and how friendly they are and I just raised the bar simply by putting myself in a different location. So think to yourself, how can you raise the bar, you know, whether it be changing jobs or hanging around with different people or there's so many different ways that you can raise the bar in your life,

which is going to elevate you and push you to grow and push you to that next. level. For me, this move and changing my environment has really pushed me to a whole other level. I want to show up better every day because I'm around people who are showing up in such a strong way. And it's funny in my old building. They used to complain all the time, send nasty emails to everybody in the building. Don't throw boxes down the trash shoot. I mean, it was an ongoing thing. I would see an email once a week about it. And obviously, it never got fixed because after 17 years, they're still sending the same emails. But I got to this building, and they have this really beautiful structure in each hall. And what they explained to you when you move in is that's the place, the beautiful

place you put boxes once you fold them down. So instead of yelling at people and telling them what not to do, they created a solution, a beautiful solution, and explained it to people so that they could empower themselves to fix the problem. Hmm, interesting. Where is it in your life or in your work that you might have to be yelling at people and telling them not to do something? Or maybe instead you could create a solution that they'd be happy to employ and to try. I love that shift that I saw. I thought it was so powerful. When you want more, start your business with Northwest Registered Agent and get access to thousands of free guides, tools, and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business.

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I mean, the mistakes that I've made over the last couple of weeks have been mind-blowing and ridiculous. And we'll just put it this way. It's a learning experience for me. because I hadn't moved in 17 years, I forgot that you had to, you know, set up television and set up power and change mailing addresses. You know, I forgot about all the intricacies that went along with this. Like anything, you know, a big change is going to be a lot of work and a lot of detail and a lot of follow-up and a lot of things that you need to do. But in the end, it is so, so worth it.

So whatever change you've been thinking about that you've been wondering about, I'm here to tell you today, Go for it. Take the adventure. Give yourself a new perspective and embrace a change because it is so incredibly exciting. Okay, this has been such a crazy week. Okay, so then I also believe when you open yourself up to possibility and opportunity and adventure, new things are going to show up. So wouldn't you know, three days ago, I got so many DMs from the Dr. Phil show, random, so bizarre and random, saying, we'd love to have you as a guest expert on the show.

So I thought, oh, that's great. You know, and I'm running in between the two condos, moving things and coordinating things. It's just been crazy. And I'm responding back, yeah, great. I would love to talk about it. They said, no, you'll need to fly to L.A. in a couple of days. Obviously, not the best timing, right? As I still don't have everything set up, I'm still not unpacked.

You know, the timing's not ideal. But one thing I've learned is when opportunity strikes, you've got to go for it. Otherwise, you lose it. And yes, it would have been easier to say, you know what, this is not a great time for me because I'm in the middle of a move and nothing is situated and I don't know who's going to watch my son. And right, there's a million reasons why I could say no, but I'm leaning into the adventure. I'm jumping on the yes. And I said yes.

Now, like anything, when you don't know how process and procedure work for different people, different shows, I didn't know what to expect. Well, it's ended up that all weekend I have been asked to send videos to answer. questions to jump on conference calls. It's been really intense and to the wire. I'm supposed to be leaving in two days. I still haven't gotten my flight information. I still haven't gotten my hotel information. It's crazy. But I just keep going back to my faith and trusting that if this is meant for me, it's going to come together with ease and grace. And I'm going to go for it and believing in myself. And all of these situations that are happening, they're

exciting, they're unknown, right? It's a lot up in the air. But I trust because I look back on past experiences that I've had. I went on the Steve Harvey show before and I was super nervous and that was crazy and it worked out amazing. Right. I went on these different, so again, it's like a ladder. You know, each time you go to that next rung, you have more faith, more confidence in yourself in a situation that things will play out the way that they're intended to be and you've just got to believe. And so that's what I'm leaning into this week. I don't know how it's all going to play out. You'll have to, oh my gosh, go to my Instagram stories this week because hopefully I'll be in L.A. I hope it all comes together. But by the time you're listening to this,

if you go over to my Instagram stories, you're going to see I'm either in L.A. or I'm at home in the new condo. And you'll know if I actually made it to the show. So open to the possibility, going for it. If it's meant to be, it's going to happen. It's going to come together. I am not going to drive myself crazy worrying about it. And if I do get on that flight, I am going to have to figure out how to make up for all the commitments I have this week. But the good news is we found a very good friend of mine who's willing to watch my son if I do end up going. So that was the key piece to come together. Okay, so one issue at a time, that's how we're tackling things right now, stepping into the possibility and going for it. And I'm super, super excited. Okay. Oh, in other news,

If you are around Miami on Sunday of this week, I have a talk and a book signing at Books and Books and Quarrel Gables. I will put the link in the show notes below. It's free. It's a free event. Just RSVP to grab your seat. And I look forward to seeing you there. I love in-person events.

I just gave a virtual talk this week for TriMedics, and it went amazing. And I got great feedback. And I felt so grateful. but for me getting together with people in person still trumps everything else. I'm so excited for it. If you're looking for something to do Sunday, would love to see you 4 p.m. at Books and Books in Miami. And yes, I'll be signing your books.

Okay. So I wanted to share the past two weeks I was at church. I've shared a couple different times. I go to Voo Church. I'm obsessed with it. It's incredible. It's always such a positive message. And I absolutely love it.

So I wanted to share with you the message from church last week and then the message this week, because I thought they were both really positive, really impactful, and, I mean, good news and good messages are meant to be shared. So last week, D.C., the female preacher at our church was preaching. And she got into a really personal story that was very profound and helpful to me, and I hope it will be for you too. She was talking about, first of all, she's a mother, she's married. She is a mother of three kids, all little ones. And, you know, they talk a lot about their kids at church. And this week she was sharing her infertility issues.

Unbeknownst to me, she had struggled with infertility for eight years. Eight years. That's massive, right? But then what's so interesting is she has three healthy babies now. My point being, I didn't know the back story. I just know her as a mom, you know, a super happy married mom with three beautiful children. And I had no idea that for eight years, she was trying to have kids and couldn't and didn't know if there would ever be the day that she would. So whatever challenge you're facing or whatever goal or dream you have and you don't know if you're going to have it, let DC's story inspire you to have more faith and to believe. leave as she went through that dark time for eight years, not knowing if she was ever going to be able to have kids, not knowing if she would ever be a mother. And that's pretty incredible. She shared that she spent so much time worrying, so much time thinking it was never going to happen

and so concerned that she might never be able to have a child. And then ultimately, eight years later, she has three beautiful, healthy children. So for her, it was about letting go of the fear, having faith bigger than the fear, letting go of the worry and turning it over to God. And I have been working so much on surrender lately. That's been my focus for the past couple of weeks that if it's meant to be, it's in God's hands, God's plan is bigger than mine. I turn it over. And every day I'm praying, you know, God, it's your plan, I let go. And it's not easy to do, P.S., especially if you're a control freak, like I've been my whole life. You know, when you grow up and your life seems out of control, you tend to evolve into an adult who likes to control everything. And that definitely has been me, but it hasn't been paying off, right? I can't control everything. You can't control everything. And the more we choose to let go and let something so much greater than us take over, the more we will be led to where we ultimately are meant to be. And that's, you know, that reminds me of me getting fired, right? You know, I wanted to control that that lady like me and control that,

you know, I stay in that job because that's where I was comfortable. I wasn't thinking back then the way I think now. I wasn't thinking, this is an adventure. Oh my gosh, leaping from this job is exciting. I was coming from a place of fear, coming from a place of wanting to control everything, instead of coming from a place of possibility and belief and faith. And so today I work so much on that idea of surrender, that idea of turning it over, and that idea of if something's really meant for me, it will be. I will be done. And I encourage you to hand it over to something so much larger than you, to have that belief

and that faith and to put the work in and make some progress in letting go of control. because the reality is we never really controlled anything to begin with, but at least not very much. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than a rough patch, you don't need just another meditation app. Takayatry makes it easy to see a psychiatrist online using your insurance in days. Takayatry is 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression,

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with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's tachiatry.com slash confidence to get matched in minutes. Okay, so that was the message last week, was really about turning it over and not spending years worrying and doubting and sitting and upset when instead you can turn it over to God, you can have faith, you can move forward with peace, and allow the blessings to unfold, which they absolutely did for our pastor. She ended up having three beautiful children, but just don't forget, for eight years, she did not know if that was going to happen.

So no matter where you are on your journey with your goals, your big dreams, your ambitions, Have faith and keep moving forward. Turn it over. Okay, well, today I was back in church again today, and we had a guest preacher, which is always interesting because you're going to hear a totally different perspective, and you're going to hear, you know, a different way of preaching, which I really value. I love seeing how people speak. I love learning from different people and observing, you know, sometimes you might like

one better than another, but you're always going to be able to pick something up interesting, unique or different from, you know, getting the opportunity to see somebody preach or speak. So we had a guest preacher this week. He was from San Diego, a shout out to the OC. And I love San Diego. So I was super excited for him to be there. He had a professional NFL background. It was just really cool, really relevant guy that related so well to the audience. Great energy. You know how you feel someone's energy. I just, I love that. Super exciting. Well, today he was talking about the divisiveness in our culture and how, you know, for years now, it's just, are you Republican, are you Democrat? Are you Black Lives Matter? Are you anti-Black Lives Matter?

Are you this or that? Are you with me? Are you against me? And he's talking about a third option. It doesn't have to be one or this way or one or that way. It could be about including everyone and seeing everyone through God's eyes. And I thought it was so cool and so relevant that instead of labeling people, which this is what he talked about, is that, you know, you might say, oh, that's a homeless person or that's a black person or that's a teacher. You know, we put these different labels on people. And once we do that, we see them only through that lens. We speak to them differently because of that lens. And we feel differently about them because of that lens. And his whole talk today was about, you know, not labeling people and instead

seeing people through God's eyes as a son of God, a daughter of God, and seeing how much more alike we are than different. And he went through this exercise where he had everybody raising their hands, you know, whether he was saying, how many people in here are right-handed or how many people are left-handed, showing that there's going to be differences no matter what, but then going to, how many people in this room have a heart? How many people this room have legs? How many people, the majority of us are 99% similar and only 1% different. However, we focus on what those differences are instead of focusing on what we have in common and what is shared. And I'll tell you, just in the hour and a half sermon that he gave today, everybody was feeling so much closer because

no matter who you were sitting next to, no matter how different they looked than you or their different ethnicity or background or language, it didn't matter because we shared so much in common. And his whole sermon was about, let's start focusing on the similarities instead of the differences. And in the end, we are all the same. We're all God's children. And let's look at everyone through the eyes of love instead of through the eyes of why we are not alike. try your best to find common ground in something that you have in common with somebody when you meet them, see them, run across them, and try to see people through God's loving eyes.

And I just thought that was such a beautiful message today, so timely for the world that we live in with so much arguing in media trying to create that divisiveness and the differences between people and arguing, but instead find peace and love and kindness and empathy for others instead of distrust and differences because in the end we really are all so similar. So it was a great message. I hope that it hits you in a positive way today and trying to find common ground, commonality, empathy, and love for others. It definitely did for me. So I hope to see you Sunday at books and books. I'll be giving a free talk. Of course, I will be signing your books, doing shoutouts on social media, and taking picks with whoever wants them. I love in real life. I hope you'll be in real life with me.

It will be so fun, and I'd love to see you there. So check the link in the show notes below, RSVP, grab a seat. It's free, and I will see you then. So if you like the show, please share the show. That's the best way to tell me you like it. That's the best feedback I can get. Nobody's succeeds alone. That includes your girl. And the more you share and ask other people to listen, the more we can grow this community. And I'm so grateful for your help. It means the world to me. If you haven't checked out my books yet, it's confidence creators the first one. The new one is Overcome Your Villains. That's the event that I am doing this Sunday. If you want to join, check the link in the show notes below. Until next week, keep creating your confidence.

and just remember, the best is yet to come.