Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #257: The Best Negotiation Strategy for Business & Personal Relationships with Molly Fletcher Sports Agent Turned Keynote Speaker

Episode Date: October 4, 2022

Have you been wanting to work with me? My annual Elite Mastermind is open NOW! Click the link below to learn more and apply now if you are ready to go to the next level! https://bit.ly/hm-cc-mastermind  In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Creating strong connections  Developing negotiating skills   Managing imposter syndrome  Resources: Website: mollyfletcher.com  Read The Energy Clock  Join Purposeful Productivity  Listen to Game Changers  Email: [e-mail]  LinkedIn & Youtube: @Molly Fletcher  Instagram & TikTok: @mollywfletcher  Facebook: @name Twitter: @MollyFletcher Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  The key to a successful negotiation is CONFIDENCE! When it comes to negotiating deals, nobody is better than Molly Fletcher. Molly has negotiated over 500 million dollars in contracts for some of the worlds’ highest performing professional athletes, and she’s here to help us get the MOST out of life. Connecting with people on a deeper level will help us lay down foundations for stronger relationships, and get better deals in the end! Tune in to learn how you can embrace your TRUE self, and feel proud in a room full of people who are different from you! The more you step into your discomfort, the more CONFIDENT you will become! Discover how you can keep growing your confidence EVERY DAY, because it won’t happen overnight.  About The Guest:  My guest, Molly Fletcher is a trailblazer in every sense of the word! She travels around the world sharing her unconventional techniques she has used to thrive in her former career as a top sports agent, and now as a successful entrepreneur. Today, as a well known speaker and author, she’s known as the female Jerry Mcguire! Molly has negotiated upwards of 500 million dollars in deals and has represented some of the world’s biggest stars in sports.   If You Liked This Episode You Might Also Like These Episodes: You’ve Been Taught Wrong: Why You Need To Share Your Wins! with Heather!  How To Approach Any Conversation To Ensure You Are HEARD with Sales Expert Glenn Lundy  EMBRACE The Fear Of The Unknown With Heather! 

The more that we prepare and understand what the person that we're negotiating with is worried about, the more that we can hopefully drive connection. And at the end of the day, negotiations really just a conversation, right? I found that the more that I stepped in to discomfort, the stronger I got and the more confident I got. I believe confidence is built through action. It's a muscle that we strengthen by taking action. You can't sit at your desk and go, I'm going to be more confident. I mean, it's not a bad thing to tell yourself, but you've got to do things and take action to strengthen that confidence muscle.

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. Overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so excited for you to meet my guest today. Molly Fletcher is a trailblazer in every sense of the word. In her message to audiences around the world, she should, shares the unconventional techniques she used to thrive in her former career as a top sports agent and now as a successful entrepreneur, speaker, and author. She's hailed as the female Jerry Maguire. Molly negotiated over 500 million in contracts and represented hundreds of the biggest sports stars.

She's been featured in ESPN, Fast Company, Forbes, and Sports Illustrated. She's the author of five books, most recently, The Energy Clock. And today we're lucky enough to have Molly here with us. Thank you, Molly. Absolutely. It's great to be with you. Oh my gosh. So I've got to tell you, my ex-fiancee was a sports agent and I was with him for eight years. And I'm very, very familiar with that business. I've never in my life met a female in that business. How in the world did you get into that and how were you so successful? Well, you have a good sense of what a 24-7 deal that is, obviously. You know, I was a student athlete at Michigan State and I always. always wanted to stay in the business of sports. I grew up in Michigan and then moved to Atlanta to get into the sports business. And through some navigating and, you know, odds and in jobs out of college, I got an opportunity with an agency and, you know, really came in to go get endorsement

and appearance deals for the athletes and coaches that we had. We had a few athletes and coaches. And after I had sort of gotten through the Olympics in Atlanta and I looked at the owner of the business and I said, boy, you know, we need to get more talent under management, right? Not just the four or five that we had and certainly baseball's big in Atlanta. There was, you know, the Georgia tack, Georgia, minor league teams, pro teams. So I said, man, what if we got more aggressive and went after more clients? And of course, he was probably to your point looking at me going, well, how's that going to work, right? Like you didn't play in the big leagues, certainly. And I said, look, let me put a bit playing together. And let's start with baseball. I mean, you know, it's right

here. We have one guy. Let's start there. And he said, we'll put a business plan together. I did. I put a businessman together. He blessed it. And I was off to the races. And, you know, fast forward 18 years later, signed about 300 athletes, coaches, broadcasters, golfers, you know, tour players, primarily, big league baseball guys, all that. So it's incredible the level of success that you found in such a heavily dominated male business where like, as you mentioned, you didn't have the same background that a lot of these people had. You were really, you know, one of, I would imagine, just only a couple of women in this entire industry. How were you able to overcome that hurdle

when you were trying to connect with players when you would initially meet with them? Yeah, you know, to me, it was an opportunity to reframe the moments, right? Because it could get easy when I was the only woman. I was the only one at the time when I kind of got into it that I was aware of that was sort of wanting to not just do marketing deals for the athletes, but to negotiate their primary contracts.

And so, you know, there's a lot of moments where I was the only woman on the, you know, fence at a, at a baseball game or the only woman behind the, you know, dugout at batting practice at a big league park. And, you know, some guys would look at me or managers and say, what is this chick doing here? Guys, quit talking to her. And I could have said maybe I don't belong here, right? Like, maybe this isn't going to work. I mean, these guys think I'm somebody's wife. The managers think I'm heading on them. But it was an opportunity to go, what a gift. I'm different. I'm different. I can connect and solve and serve these guys differently than the men that I was competing with

because a lot of these guys, if they were married or dating, their wife didn't have any support. You know, a big league guy, you know, gets traded and they're, you know, they got on an airplane and they're in the dugout of the new team in no time. And, you know, the wife is standing there with cars and kids and houses going, what do I, what do I do? Like, what does this look like? It's April in the beginning. So, you know,

There was so many moments like that. And I think we all have a choice consistently to reframe those moments and to recognize the gifts in them while staying absolutely true to who we are. You know, I never tried to show up in khakis and a golf shirt like the scouts or the agents I was competing with. I wanted to be who I authentically was. And I think that's what the world wants from all of us. That's how we connect.

That's how we build relationships is by showing up as who we are in life is how connection happens. So, you know, mindset, reframing, all those things are integral to the ability to step into a place that I certainly was the only woman often in the room. Were there ever moments early on in your career where you had those imposter syndrome moments? Oh my gosh. Do I really belong here? Did you ever question or have that conversation with yourself? You know, I feel really blast, Heather, because I grew up with incredible parents who always, you know, wanted me to sort of be myself to lean. into what was possible, who always challenged me to go for it and never laid a doubt in my mind

that I couldn't. They raised me in a way to know that hard is okay, that hard is doable. And just because it's hard doesn't mean you should walk away. In fact, you probably should really step into it. With two older brothers who treated me a whole lot more like a little brother than a little sister. So I had imposter syndrome at 10 when I was jumping into the wrestling pile with my 15-year-old brother's getting my head beat in, right? But as I evolved and grew, I found that the more that I stepped into discomfort, the stronger I got and the more confident I got. I believe confidence is built through action. It's a muscle that we strengthen by taking action, right? We can't, you and I and anybody listen, you can't sit at your desk and go, I'm going to be more confident. I mean,

it's not a bad thing to tell yourself, but you've got to do things and take action to strength. strengthen that confidence muscle. Oh, I couldn't agree more. And I love how you framed it just like a muscle, but it's something you need to work on intentionally every day. And like you said, through action steps and stepping into that discomfort, you are so my people. All right, so you wrote a book about negotiation and you literally negotiated over $500 million in contracts. Download us with some of your best negotiation tips and techniques, please. Yeah, for sure. And I would encourage, you know, in negotiation, it's a little bit like confidence, right? You get better when you practice. So I always encourage people, you know, practice a ton. Find yourself in lots of different moments, big and small and practice. I certainly didn't start negotiating a hundred million dollar contracts. I often started doing, you know, $5,000 deals or tradeouts or appearances or endorsements, you know, deals that were 50 to $100,000. So I think one of the biggest mistakes people can make is they spend so much time thinking about what they want. What do they, what are the terms that I want? What's the length of time? What are the things that

matter to me. And I think in negotiation, the best, it's spending time and energy on what do they want, what matters most to them? What are the things that are going to drive yeses, if you will, from them? So anytime I was negotiating a baseball player's contract, for example, or a coach, or a broadcaster, I'd spend a lot of time in the head and the heart of the person that I was negotiating with. What are they worried about? What does the free agent market look like for them? who do they have in minor leagues? What other coaches are available, right? What other networks?

I mean, all those things are incredibly important to spend time and energy and prepare for. Because the more that we prepare and understand what the person that we're negotiating with is worried about, the more that we can hopefully drive connection. And at the end of the day, negotiation is really just a conversation, right? It's a difficult one, but it's a conversation. and the more that we can keep that conversation going at some level through understanding what matters most of them, I think the better the outcome. But also the more preparation we have in that regard, the more comfortable we are, all the zinging

and zagging that occurs in any negotiation, which is a ton, right? And we're more confident in those moments when we're prepared. But I think so, you know, getting in the head and the heart of the people that we're negotiating with is key. You know, the other thing I think is incredibly important is having the courage to pause. Right. So yes, negotiations a conversation, but it doesn't mean that it can't pause from time to time. Because when we pause, pause can be two minutes, five, two days a week, a month. But when we pause, we send messages. We send messages probably that what we have positioned is where we are, that we're firm at some level. It's incredibly powerful. I think if you are prepared and you lay a strong relational foundation inside of a negotiation, you communicate and connect with what you want, the more comfortable you can be pausing,

which sends powerful messages. And I think that's a mistake a lot of people make. A lot of times when we're negotiating, we do all kinds of things right, and then we ask for what we want, and then we keep talking. And the best thing you can do is just pause. It's like when you go work out,

you're doing abs with the medicine ball, with your trainer or a workout partner, throw that ball over there. Let them hold it. Let them feel it. That you mean it. That's an incredibly powerful thing. So those are a couple tips. I would say maybe a third one would be, you know, turn defensiveness inside a difficult conversations into curiosity. Go from that when you want to come out of your chair, come through the screen, go at whatever that feeling might be that bubbles up inside of you inside of a negotiation. Get curious. Ask more great questions. to get insight and intel and information

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Molly, I want to go back to the point that you made about the power of pause because I feel like that is an art that most people don't have. I certainly have struggled with that many, many times of my career. But when you were explaining that, I was thinking to myself, why is it maybe that I'm not a master at pausing for a couple of days and standing firm? Like you said, and allowing that to make the statement of, you know, how clear I am on what it is that I've asked for or what it is that I'm expecting. it's that uncertainty, that wonder, oh my gosh, am I letting this go too long? How are you able to work yourself through that? Well, you know, we teach negotiation. I have a negotiation program that we built off my book around negotiation.

I think that there's a lot of data around the way that we're raised, our environment, that can impact our comfort or lack of with silence. But if you follow a model that we teach, which is around setting the stage and all the things that have to happen to do that, having the courage to discover the gaps inside of the lives of the people that we're trying to connect with and serve. And when we do a lot of things in advance of our ask, and we've built that strong foundation, that relationship, we understand what matters to them. We've certainly laid a foundation and communicated our position along the way as well. Then we have to have the confidence to pause. So I think potentially somebody doesn't have the

confidence to pause when maybe they feel like there's something that they haven't communicated that they need to. And if we can do all those things on the front end, then when we go in for the ask, we have more comfort in pausing because we've settled. I'll tell you a story. I was negotiating a baseball player's contract who was a big league guy. He was going to arbitration if we couldn't come to terms of the team. And, you know, in arbitration, there's three perfect strangers that pick whether the number that we've submitted as his agent or the team has submitted which one it's going to be. So it can be a several million dollar gap. It's not a compromise.

It's one or the other. And I always hated taking my guys to arbitration because, number one, the team just beats them up and tells them how bad they are because they're trying to position the judges to the arbitrators to give them the lower number. So it's never good mentally, I think, for certain guys. Long story short, I'd set the stage. I built common ground with these folks. I'd asked for what I wanted.

All those things had happened over several months. It was the night before we were leaving for arbitration. I'd done everything from the foundation perspective. My client and I were very aligned. I go to bed that night. I'm getting ready to jump on an 8.30 a.m. flight to Phoenix to the arbitration hearing. And my phone rings 11.30 at night. I used to sleep with my phone by my bed, as I'm sure you're candidly familiar with.

So I answer it was the general manager with a team. And he said, unbelievable. He said, you're going up to Arizona, aren't you? And I said, we are. And he said, wow, you're firm. I said, we are. And I just paused. And my husband, after about, you know, a minute and a half said, is he still there?

Right? Like, because a minute and a half on the phone without anybody saying. It seems like a long time. Super weird. And I said, yes. You know, right? And about a minute and a half goes by, two minutes. And he said, you got a deal.

I'll email over the term sheet. And that minute and a half would have been a lot of opportunity for me to say, here you go, listen, why don't we just do this? I'm the bonuses. Let's just do this. And on the base, I'd come down to here. I didn't do anything. My client and I were aligned. I felt good about where we were.

I'd said everything I'd ever needed to say. There was nothing else to say. We didn't want to come off the numbers. And we got a deal. So I think that in life, we have to recognize the power and all the things that happen. before we go firm, before we ask for what we want. We teach a tool in negotiation in our program. It's called an EWalk, and it's a deal preparation tool that's really powerful in helping

people identify everything that's in play, which is the E. The W is, what do you want? What are options? People love options when you negotiate with them. They love it. You know, we can do this or we can do this. We can do $5 million with $3 million of bonuses, or we can do, you know, $4 million with $5 million of bonuses. People love choices. And then you've also got a preload. What are you willing to let go of?

What are you asking for that though at some point in the conversation, maybe you unload. You get rid of it. You show some concession. What are you going to preload that you could unload? So, you know, there's a model in a process, certainly, that I saw negotiating thousands of deals and a half a billion in contracts that works. But those are a couple little nuggets that I hope can help people. What's the most common mistake that you see people making in negotiations? Well, I think often, one is I believe that the stronger the relationships are inside of a negotiation, the better the outcomes. And in fact, sometimes the quicker the outcome. I think a lot of times people would think, boy, as an agent, man, you are just going head to head, you know, take the gloves off, get after it.

What I found worked best was strengthening that relationship, almost pouring into it, giving an and driving connection. And the more connected I was, whether it was to a manufacturer's rep for a golf deal or a general manager or a network executive or the athletic director, the better the relationship, the better the outcome and often the quicker I could get them done. I think when people think that negotiation is supposed to be a battle or a war and that we want to approach it in that way, that's fine if you only want to do one deal with them. But if you want to potentially negotiate and do lots of deals. The relational piece is really important. I don't know that I would say, though, that's the most common mistake, but I think it's something that is misunderstood from time to

time, and that if we can approach everything from a relational perspective versus a transactional perspective, we'll find better outcomes and we'll find relationships that we can go back to. For me, relationships are a differentiator because there's 30 big league clubs. You got guys coming out. can't be sideways with 10 of them because you need to be able to go to those relations. Or if I had an executive E.SPN or NBC or I needed to sustain that relationship because I would have other athletes, coaches, broadcasters that they were trusting me to be a steward of their career with that relationship. So relationships and connection is huge. But I would say, though, Heather, the biggest mistake is not pausing.

It's so interesting hearing you talk. I've met so many sports agents. You speak so differently than, and I only know male sports agents until now, but they are talking more of that more combative win and, you know, how can we bury them? And it's so interesting to your point when you opened this up in the beginning, being female has led you down this path of relationship and trust and nurturing and pouring into, which I've never heard an agent say, by it. the way. And it's so cool to hear. That's what your superpower is. That's where you got your strength, what made you so unique and different. And the more you've leaned into the fact that you're a woman, the more that you've leaned into that you're different than these guys over here, the more success you found. It makes perfect sense. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that we can all do that in whatever career or an industry that we're in, right? Lean into who you are and use your differences as gifts, as opportunities to connect. And it doesn't mean that I didn't, I had a ton of very difficult conversations with general

managers. But if you lined them up, I ran into a Hall of Fame general manager the other day, you know, and he was trying to give me half of his burger and share his French fries at a bar the other day. And when I was there with another client, that's just not normal. And there's a lot of mutual respect there. And I think I know that that helped. me to be a steward of the clients that I served. And that was incredibly important to me.

I mean, when these guys and gals are trusting you to navigate their career, that has a real finite amount of time to it generally. I mean, these guys, they make in five years, 10 years, what most of us make in 50. So the clock is ticking every day. And I took that incredibly serious, the impact that all of it would have on their life long term, on their family now and later. And so the relational pieces has and continues to be a big part of what I believe deeply in. How did you transition from being a high profile agent to becoming a speaker and author? What did that transition and pivot look like for you? Yeah, so I wrote a couple books because I started to see a common thread between peak performers. And I started to see the way they behave, recover, prepare, it was different. I started to recognize that complacency has no place in sports. I love the drive inside of all my athletes and coaches.

But at the end of the day, what happened was the book was a business. One of the books was a business book, the business of being the best. So companies started saying, hey, will you come and do this? And will you come and talk about your book is what people. said. So I did. I would take a day off and I would go to, you know, Merrill Lynch booked me for a bunch of stuff or nationwide insurance, whatever. I would go do that. Well, there was one event where there was a woman in the back of the room and she came up to me after and she said, you need to do this. I said, what do you mean? She goes like, you need to do this all the time. I said, I mean, listen,

I just ran over here at lunch from the office. I mean, I got 300 guys. I got nine. I mean, what do you mean? Do this. She said, no, like your message is resonating. I mean, you You are a woman. You're talking about sports. You're talking about performance, but you're a wife and a mother. Like, you need to do this. And I was like, and she goes, we're going to lunch. And so long story short, we did.

She said, listen, you need to get Mollyfletcher.com. You need to build a wife. You know, sort of. So I did. And I was continuing to be an agent. And then I found myself going, wow, you know, as I kind of did a few of these, I thought, man, this is helping a lot of people. This is so rewarding.

And so my husband and I sort of sat down and it made no sense financially whatsoever. And I jumped. I mean, I after obviously some time of kind of getting, getting into, you know, what I really believed was even more of my gift, my calling, if you will, I thought, this is really what I'm supposed to be doing. As much as I love the agent space, as much as I love every one of my guys and girls, I actually think that I'm better and more uniquely positioned to do this in the world. I was a mother. I had three young kids and I started to ask myself, wow, you know, am I going to be able to do this

at the highest level as an agent, which is 24 hours a day, seven days a week? And am I going to miss the opportunity to pour into my kids if I do this or can I do this? But the bigger piece was it was incredibly rewarding Heather to share a message. And it was so similar. You know, I had met Zig Ziglar as a kid because I thought I wanted to do what Zig did. And Zig told me, you know, at 21, go do something. And then maybe you can go talk about it. I mean, that's literally what he told me when he gave me 20 minutes. And, you know, it's just funny how life works. And I'm not sure that I could have crafted this story. But it was the right thing. And it has been. I mean, now I speak about 80 days a year. You know, as you said, I've got five books. I've got another one coming out in 2024. I think, you know,

We have a training company where we train thousands of people all over the world on energy and negotiation. And, you know, like a lot of times in life when we make a change, it took me a hot minute to want to jump, right, to take that leap. And the truth is, I probably should have done it, you know, six months a year earlier than I did. But change is hard and we want to feel the confidence in it. I had a lot of support for my husband, which I was grateful for, both emotional and everything else.

He was there and said, you know, this is what you need to do. This is, and it, of course, it has paid off wildly. And I'm very, very grateful for the impact that I'm able to make through these stories and experiences. What a gift to be able to move in your purpose and feel that passion and the work that you do every day. I'm so happy that you found that. Let's get into, you mentioned energy, and I want to get into because it sticks out to me so much that you speak so much about business. And then all of a sudden there's energy in the newest book. Can you share a little bit about that impact?

Yeah, great question, Sather. You know, really what happened, and sort of it's a great time after what I was just sharing, is that as a sports agent, what I saw the best of the best do was they focused on their energy, not their time. In other words, John Smoltz, right, Doc Rivers, Tom Izzo, Matt Coucher, they were worried about the level of energy they needed to perform at their best. They weren't obsessed with their calendars, per se. they were obsessed with how do I bring the most energy to the moments in my life that matter most.

I would sit with my PJ tour players and we would look at the tour schedule for the following season, for example. And we would say, okay, well, where have we made the cut? Where have we played well? Where have we played well? When are the majors against the tournaments I've done well? And then we would back into a schedule and a rhythm to ensure that they showed up at the tournaments that mattered most. the kind of energy to perform at their best. So that was my lens. So then I get out and I'm sort of

in the business world, if you will, right now. And it was so fascinating to me because business people were exhausted. And then they would get to these meetings and go, why the hell am I even in this meeting? I don't even need to be in this meeting. Somebody could be in this meeting for me. Why did I say yes to this cocktail party? Why am I going to this conference that I really don't think I need to be it and I don't even really care and I don't even think I. And I was like, this is so fascinating. Like, why do they say yes to things that don't align with what matters most as it relates to optimal performance? And I just, I literally was just, it was like a mind blow. I was like, this is amazing. And so then I pulled back and I said, wow, what if people in the business world

understood that energy was a linchpin for high performance in the same way that great athletes do? And what if I could create a system by which they could live into that on a daily basis that would allow them to show up in the moments that mattered most. How can we teach them to understand stress and recovery? How can we teach them to recognize how to marry energy with their calendar and look at their calendar through the lens of energy? How can they ensure that they insert and protect time in their lives that give them energy versus what we hear so often, well, I didn't have time to work out. I didn't have time to meditate.

I didn't have time to, why not? I mean, if you say it matters to you, let's create a system by which we insert these in our calendars and protect it, because business people operate against their calendars primarily. So it has become a wonderful resource for people, for organizations, to help ensure that they offset burnout, that their people are showing up for the moments that matter most, that they're lining their values with what matters.

I had a guy in a program the other day who we did this sort of exercise that we do. And he said he told one of my coaches that delivers our programs, you know, this is unbelievable. He said with tears in his eyes, I say that my kids matter to me, but I don't leave the office till 730 or 8. I've missed three of his last five baseball games. You know, I say that my kids matter to me, but I go hunting every Saturday and I've missed, you know, two of his last football. I mean, so it's helping people understand what do they value most? how can they align their energy and their time with those things to perform better? And how can they protect the things that give them energy?

Because we, if you and I decided, or if anybody listening, said, if I said, look, I've got a little gym in my house. If I said, I'm, I'm just going to, I'm going to get absolutely. I'm going to lose five pounds. I'm going to get ripped. I'm going to. And I walked in there and never came out for a week. I wouldn't come out ripped. I'd come out exhausted, hungry, drain, dehydrated.

We as human beings need stress and recovery. We need them both. Stress is a wonderful thing. It's how we look at stress. But recovery is integral to our ability to perform better. We can't just keep the hammer down all the time, which is how sadly so many people have been living for the last two years. Burnout is so high right now.

It's a lack of intentionality in regards to managing our energy and our time. So this book has helped people with that as well as our training programs. I love the topic of energy. I've gotten into it so much. recently, and I love how you're viewing it to look at the calendar through the lens of energy. Tell us about your podcast that you have now. Yeah, Game Changers with Molly Fletcher is wherever people listen to podcasts and probably where they're listening to this.

But it's really trying to identify people in the world that are game changers that are making a difference that are performing at a high level that people can, you know, listen to and pull from these conversations. And I feel really blessed. I've had, you know, Dabo Sweeney, Matthew McConaughey, Priy. Priyanka Jonas. I just did Jeff Fox for the other day. I mean, just had some incredible athletes, coaches, celebrities, entrepreneurs, business owners. And like you, it's an honor to share a conversation with these people, but more importantly, to be able to share it with others so that it helps them

show up a little bit better. The work you're doing is incredible. I'm grateful that you're doing it. You definitely are going to keep showing up. I can't wait for the new book. Where can people find you? Mollyfletcher.com is the best place to go. And then all my my social handles, all that will stem from there. But molly flutcher.com. Well, thank you so much, Molly. Thank you for all the work that you're doing. And thank you for this amazing interview for the content you're creating and all the tips that you're dropping for our listeners.

Absolutely. It was a pleasure. Thanks so much. All right, guys. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. Come on this journey with me.