Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #264: How to Make Things Happen with Heather & Kelley Tyan, Author & Success Coach!

Episode Date: October 26, 2022

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  What you speak into existence MATTERS  Staying open to possibilities    Timing is everything  Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Website: www.kelleytyan.com Listen to Addicted To The Climb podcast Read: Addicted To The Climb LinkedIn:@Kelley Tyan Instagram: @kelleytyan Show Notes:  I’m joined today by my long-time friend Kelley Tyan! She’s an amazing faith inspired, success coach, as well as an author AND podcast host. We learned this weekend that you NEVER know what is possible. Life is full of surprises and when the timing is right, everything will workout! You’ll notice incredible changes in your life once you focus on what matters most, and let GO of all the other stuff. Just wait and see!  

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're here with us this week. Yes, I said us. I'm not sitting here by myself today.

And thank goodness we are not on video. I've got Kelly Tying with me today. Hi, Kelly Tion here with a lost voice. Yeah, literally. Okay. So I'm in Massachusetts right now. This is where I'm from Wista. I mean, not technically in Wista, but close. This is where I grew up back with my homies. One of our OGs got married last night. And we are coming to you live with not living our best lives right now. We are not living our best lives right now. Apparently, I was singing a lot at the wedding. So my voice is a little off, but we had the best night ever. Ever. Like, we can't even. We, but we declared it before we left the house.

Do you remember? And we did that this summer or two. Remember when we were Martha's Vineyard? We declared this is going to be the best day ever, and it truly, truly was. So put out there what it is that you want. Like for your day, I don't, you know, I don't know when you're listening to this. Maybe it's Monday. Maybe it's Sunday.

I don't know. But like declare this is going to. be your best day ever and watch the chips fall because it literally came to fruition yesterday. It did. And it matters what you speak out. Yeah, no, it's so true. Okay, here's where I want to start, first of all. The person that got married yesterday is 48 years old. His first marriage, I never thought in a million years this person was ever going to get married. Never, never, never. And yesterday he had the most epic wedding, incredible, very traditional. He has two children with this woman and not what any of us would have ever forecasted, correct?

Correct. He's been single most of his life. We just didn't see it coming. And she was such a blessing. She just came into his life, delivered by God himself. Truly. Planted in his path because nobody thought this guy would be married. And we're just so happy for him.

So happy for him. But I guess my point for everyone listening is that you don't know what's possible because he never thought he was getting married. If anyone had asked him five years ago or 10 years ago, no, he was never going to get married. It was a joke. He would literally make a joke of it. So my point is, anything is possible. And you have to stay open to that possibility of what could come. Gosh, that means, this is what I thought truly when I saw him at the church yesterday.

I'm like, if he's getting married, clearly, I'm going to get married again. You are getting married. If Tommy is getting married, clearly, I am getting, yes. We're declaring. Yeah, we're speaking it into existence right now. Yes. Okay. So.

I'm so excited. And I will be the maid of honor. Of course. Yes. But here's the thing is that I was so in awe. I was so surprised that he did get married so happy for him. He was clearly so happy. He also showed up.

so differently. Like, he was a Bridezilla. He was a Bridezilla. And we never thought. That we never expected. We didn't know if she would be a Bridezilla in some kind of way. Right. She's a very sweet girl.

I didn't see that. But he came in hot as a Bridezilla. Oh my gosh. In every way possible. Like Heather was visiting maybe over the summer, remember we were with the girl that got married. She says, he made me return my, what was it? The wedding invitations?

The invitation. Because the font wasn't right. The font. I mean, ladies, if you're a bridezilla, don't be. It was so much. It was so ridiculous. But we never thought he would show up like that. However, right, things changed incredibly for this person once he decided he did want to get married.

It became like the most important thing in the world to him. Oh, it was a countdown from one year ago. And everybody had jobs and chores. It's amazing. No, he, Kelly gave a blessing. He asked her to give a blessing at the reception. And he timed her delivery and, like, threatened her not to go over. It was like a TED talk, basically.

It was a TED talk. And I had to rehearse my 60 seconds, so it didn't go over. He got 60 seconds, which you clearly went over, by the way. It was so funny. It was great. We had such a great night. Getting together with people we haven't seen in 20, right? Maybe even 30 years.

Yeah, some people 30 years. And literally like picking up right where you left off. Right where we left off. Yeah. Everybody was great. It was like we were back in high school. And those are the fun times when you meet with people you haven't seen in a while. Okay.

But some unexpected things happen that I want to dive into. Tom Brady is there. Okay. Wait, that was the weirdest. Like, that was weird. I loved it. Okay. So he had a cut out, a life-size cutout of Tom Brady.

that he busted through the door with at the end of the night. At the reception. At the reception. Walking around with a cutout. So he's a diehard fan. Clearly. Number one fan of Tom Brady. But that was funny.

I thought that was so weird and unexpected. I thought it was fun. Okay. I don't think it's fun just in case I end up dating Tom Brady. That would be a little embarrassing. Ooh. I love that. We're putting it out there.

We're putting that out. If you are listening to creating confidence today. Tom, get in touch with me, Kelly Tyen. I'll hook you up. Okay. All right. Done and done. Okay. So to that end at the wedding, all right, this is what was super surprising, guys, is that years ago, one of my friends from college, who I had been very good friends with, I had dated someone for a short period time. I wasn't really very serious about him at all. No, I was like nothing. Anyways, she just blows that one right off. Because that was never, it was never a big deal to me. Yeah.

So I remember I just moved away. And then that's, I think, how I broke up with him. And so, anyways, this girl ends up marrying someone that I dated. But it wasn't a big deal because I wasn't very serious about the guy. So anyway, she ended up marrying him. And then she stopped talking to me, you know, for whatever reasons people have. So for years, years and years and years, even at your wedding, right? At your wedding, 20 years ago, she wouldn't speak to me.

It was weird, but okay, like, you know, I just let it go. It's not about me, whatever, you know, whatever issue she has, she had an issue. So I let it go. You had stayed friends with her and you guys would go on vacation together sometimes and I couldn't be around. So there was like weird dynamic, but whatever. Again, you know, life moves on. First world problems.

Well, wouldn't you know, out of the blue last night, we're standing there. And she walks right up and she's standing on one side of you and I'm on the other, which She would never have done in the past. And she just says to me, oh my gosh, I love your shoes. And this woman has not spoken to me. That's how she's spoken. Yeah, it was my shoes. Oh, my shoes are incredible.

They're incredible. They're cute. They're Christian Lebuton. They're so gorgeous. I'm obsessed with them. Anyhow, they took a couple of falls last night. But yeah. Anyways, so, all right.

So she just says, oh, my gosh, I love your shoes. So immediately I say, thank you so much, right? Like, I just act like nothing had happened at first. at first, but I changed that after. So I just said, you know, oh my gosh, thank you so much. That's so sweet of you to say. I love them. Like, and I started telling her about the shoes.

And then all of a sudden it was just pick up like nothing ever happened. And then they were glued at the hip the whole night. No. She was glued to your, I was sitting next to your husband at dinner. No, I was sitting at your husband at the beginning of the wedding. And I leaned over and said, I told him what happened. And I said, listen, I'm going to go talk to her, though. I don't want to act like nothing happened.

I'm just not that person. I can't just pretend nothing happened. That's not me. That's her, for sure, which, like, different things work for different people. But that just isn't me. I have to address the elephant in the room. Wait, let's talk about that for me because I think many people, I don't know if I'm as strong as you.

No, you'd let it go. I think I would, even though it would bother me, I would want to say something, but this happened to me in my life with a friend, and she just never addressed it. I didn't either, and it bothers me. so I'm happy that you felt that way. Oh my gosh. I felt, well, because even your husband said to me, he's like, I don't think you need to do that.

He was like, I don't think he was like, I don't think he's like, yeah, he's like, why would you risk, you know, like Heather just let it be. It's kind of his point. Like, just let it go. Well, that goes with the whole thing of being comfortable. It's very comfortable not to say anything. To me, that's more uncomfortable. Right.

Yeah. Right. But I like your style because you want to handle it and then move on. And then move on. Because then once you've addressed it, you can move on. I know. Because you've already said it. It's so true.

She was not comfortable with it, by the way. Oh, not at all. Not at all. So what did you say? I don't even know. All right. So first of all, I ran up by your husband first because he's kind of like my litmus stress. And he was like, you know what?

I don't think you need to. And I'm like, well, I really feel like I need to. And he's like, well, then if you feel that strongly, do it, he's like, but don't make a big deal out of it. I'm like, okay, got it. So I just immediately when they let us stand up from the tables, I walked, a B-line to her. And I said, I need to speak to you for a moment.

And she's like, what's up? Sure. Like acting like everything's fine that we hadn't like the 20 years had not occurred. And I said, listen, you and I were good friends. And obviously, you know, something changed. And I didn't want to dig into the reasons why, you know, I just said obviously something changed. I said, and now today, you know, fast forward 20 years, you're showing up like nothing happened. Number one, I want to say thank you. Like thank you for opening that door for kindness and and forgiveness. And, um, forgiveness. for whatever, you know, was uncomfortable for you before. I said, number one, I want to say thank you. I said, and number two, I would just want to say it. I'm grateful that, you know, we're speaking again. That was so nice. But no, but she, the funny thing was. I think she must have been very nervous.

She was very nervous. Yeah, no, you're right. I wasn't thinking about that at the time, but she was very nervous. And she was very put off by me saying this. Like, it was very uncomfortable for her. I'm actually sweating right now thinking about this. You are? Well, I mean, first of all, you guys were at a wedding.

I'm not sure. Maybe your listeners can tell you if they would do that because I think this is interesting. Would you wait until the wedding is over and then maybe send her or call her? No, because then I'd be fake. I'm not fake. I'm not showing up as fake. I'd either have to avoid her the rest of the night. I know you and I know this, but I still don't know if I would have done it.

No, you would not have done it. Yeah, no, you totally wouldn't have. So anyway, so she was very nervous. It was uncomfortable for her. she basically kind of said to me, like, oh, no, I don't think it's a big deal. I just haven't seen you, which that was not a truth, right? And I knew that wasn't a truth, but I wasn't going to argue the point, right? I'm like, okay, at that point, I decided to let it go because it wasn't a battle I was trying to win. I was more or less just saying, I want to show that, okay, something was broken here. You're opening it up to repair it,

and I'm appreciative of that. And let's like acknowledge it and move forward, you know? But she did not want to, she wasn't getting my vibe. Like she didn't feel the same way I did. She wanted to just push it, push past it. And so I did at that point. I let it go. And, you know, she just kind of basically said, I haven't seen you. And, you know, had I seen you, it would have been different. So let's just move on.

And I just said, okay. Perfect. Yeah. So I let it go. And then, yeah, we dropped it and then acted like nothing ever happened. Yeah. So bizarre. But that goes back to my point of, you just never know what's going to happen in life.

I would have, as much as I never thought Tommy was going to get married, I never thought this woman would have ever spoken to me ever again in her life. I know. I wasn't sure myself, to be honest. Yeah. If she would ever say. Yeah. Because it had gone so long, why would she now?

Right. I guess the shoes. Yeah. The shoes. But you know what? No, it wasn't the shoes. Okay, you want to know what it was, guys. Here's what I think.

I think she's in a better place in her life. I think it has nothing to do with me. 100%. I agree. Yeah. She's in a really good. good place. And when you're not in a good place, right, it comes out in every single way. Just like we said about what did we say? You can see happiness on someone. It's visible. Yes. Okay. So one of our

friends looked so gorgeous yesterday. It was like breathtaking, like a stop. She was like a showstopper. It was radiating. Her happiness was radiating through her face. Literally. Literally. Yeah. Usually. she, well, she looks beautiful all the time. Of course, but not like this. Like, like you said, it was other level. It was visible to everyone. She was stunning. Yes.

You can see the happiness when it's shining through. Yeah, and that's something you can't hide. That's something you can't fake. That's just, you either have it or not. And this woman that decided to speak to me yesterday, same thing. She just was like a happier version of herself. She was. And I'm happy that you guys moved on.

Yeah. No, for sure. To me, listen, life is about finding joy in it. Any moment. And if you're going to be uncomfortable or unhappy, that hurts you. Like, I don't need to penalize someone for not speaking to me for years. That's just crazy. Like, why not find a way to forgive, repair, and move on? I love this because that's what it's all about, forgiveness. And we talk about this all the time. When you hold on and you're not forgiving, the other person's moved. Like, you moved on. She was holding on to it. So it's causing so much angst in her. Just forgive and move on.

It's that easy. And it was so funny because her husband looked so happy. It was just like a weight lifted, like that we don't need to have this like weird unseen negative thing in the room anymore. Exactly. And even though it could have just, you know, they didn't have to do it. The point is this, if you have the opportunity to forgive someone, if you have the opportunity to find joy, choose it. It'll make you feel better. It'll make those around you feel better.

And then you can just pick happiness and move on. And literally like our friend, you'll end up. looking better as a result of it. Right. I agree. I think I looked really good because I was very happy. And I, and it's true. It shines. No, that's the filter that you choose.

Oh, is it? Oh, my gosh. The filters, I can't. Okay. We need a filter right now. No, we look horrible. We will be the first ones to tell you when we think we look at. We will.

We're at me. It's not a great thing. Not our best look. But it's okay. Yeah. No, so it's great. I mean, it's so fun. It is so funny.

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And my faith journey has me very much in a different type of worship season right now with Christian faith is so incredibly different. So different. And the things that struck me, number one, I felt like a little nervous. Like, you almost feel like getting judged the minute you walk in. Like, I hope this dress is appropriate for being in church. And I didn't feel the way that I feel when I walk in. You felt that way?

Oh, yeah. It took me back to being a kid. Like, oh, gosh, remember I started saying to the rules? You're not supposed to receive communion. If you weren't in a traditional church the week prior. Like, I remember the rules and I remember the dictates and just that sense of kind of being judged that hit me very quickly. So I understand so much so when I hear people who, you know, they don't like church. They don't have a good feeling around it.

I sort of have, you know, not. the greatest memories of that. It's so different now, you know. So different. Because what you're saying is people are taken back by religion. Yes. And right now, you have are in a relationship with God. Totally different.

And, you know, Catholicism is a lot of rules. And that's why people push back. So faith, you know, both of us go to Christian churches that there are, any rules. It's Bible-based. So Jesus loved everyone. That's the message. Love your neighbor as yourself. And that's what we're doing here. So Heather was looked at me when communion was being served. And she said, should I go? I said, yes. Why not? Just right away, you said that. But I said, no, the rule is, I remember if you haven't been the week before, you're not supposed to receive. And you said to me, why wouldn't you receive? Like, there are no rules. That's what you said.

I did. And so I, with Jesus, there are no rules. You're right. With God, there are no rules. You're right. But I was thinking of the Catholic Church. I was thinking of religion, not like what you're saying. Right.

Relationship. The funny thing is, I hadn't changed. Just the geography changed. I walked into a traditional church and suddenly my mindset changed. So it's sort of interesting that your brain could change so quickly just in the environment because of the way I had grown up, right? So once Kelly gave me permission to receive, I felt, okay, this is okay. This is okay for me. So this is why it's so important who you surround yourself with. So important, you know, the people that you choose to listen to my back process from my second book, Overcome Your Villains. That third piece, the knowledge that you choose to access and support yourself with. Like in that moment, you granted me permission. And immediately I stood up and said, okay, let's, yeah, why wouldn't I receive Christ? Like, let's go. Let's do it. And then I was so glad that I did it. But I needed that permission because I had reverted to an old way of thinking because I was.

The geography I felt myself in. Right. It's so bizarre. It is. But my cousin's son just said this the other day. He said, oh, I really don't do religion. And I said, why? Or we were talking about God.

And he says, yeah, I just, I don't really have an interest in all of those rules. He actually said that. Yeah, I get it. Her son. And I said, well, I just want you to know one thing. I'm not part of a religion. I have deep faith. I love.

I love God. I love Jesus. It is the same Jesus in God in Catholicism as my church. But I'm in relationship. And I really just want to stress that to people. You don't, not to go on a church tangent right now, but you don't have to feel nervous about God. It's really about you just, it's like Heather and I having a conversation. That's how I talk to God. Yeah. I want a part of my life. I want to know he's taking care of me. I feel his peace, his presence all the time. So take religion out of your head if you're, you know, taken, you know, maybe you have bad feelings about religion. Just know that you can have a relationship with God, your own special, unique relationship with him.

And it all just starts with talking, a normal conversation, a prayer. Like, guide my day today. You know, I never feel alone. And I think that's the biggest blessing. Like, I want my kids to know. They're never alone. and you know, we want to bring up our children knowing they're never alone.

Not to go off on faith. Let's go back to the church because I know he wanted to talk about the Mass itself. It was so beautiful, you guys. I haven't been to a Catholic Mass in so long, but the priest was hilarious. But he was hilarious.

He, you know what the difference is when the priest that marries someone or you go to a funeral and the priest knows the actual person It's such a connection. Yes. And the audience feels it. Yes.

Like he knew the bride and groom so well. He made jokes. It was just beautiful. He was moved. He was moved. He was teared up. Yeah. And when that happened, it made it so much more meaningful.

It was so meaningful. That's what it is. It was very meaningful. It was a beautiful mass. And, you know, it was very traditional. It was. Sit, nail stand. We hated the kneeling part.

Remember? We're like, oh, God. Our knees are killing us. We hated that. We were all in our dresses. No, but it was. It was beautiful. The church was very pretty.

And the father did a great job. He did an amazing job. He was hilarious. To your point, it makes such a big difference who's leading in an environment like that, right? Because had he been more that traditional way, that would have been not as a memorable ceremony. And I felt so compelled to, I went up to him at the reception afterwards. I did too. Oh, you did.

Oh, good for you. Oh, good. He was so happy. I wanted to encourage him to let him know that, you know, someone like me who had been, you know, very big in, grew up in Catholicism and then moved away from it and didn't have great feelings. Like, he opened that door to make me feel, I was feeling really good about it again. Yeah. He did a great job. Everything was perfect. We can't say enough about this wedding. I mean, it was incredible. It was epic. Epic. I mean, this guy waited 48 years to get married for the first. first time and it was worth it. It was just so much fun. So many good things happened last night. So many great people that I forgot about. Yeah. The relationships just every, just kicked right back up. I mean, the dancing, like, just the whole thing was epic. My singing, my, I mean, my singing all. Oh, my gosh. The voice. Oh, my gosh. Oh, the dancing and the singing. And you guys, my calves are killing me. My feet are killing me. jumping like I was on a trampoline.

Why didn't we have flip-flops on the whole night? Why were we wearing giant high heels? Horrible decision. Collateral damage. We had to look a certain way. It was painful. Sometimes it is painful. When you want more, start your business with Northwest Registered Agent and get

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now that I don't live here. So Heather comes every Thanksgiving to my house with family and she always misses October, the foliage, and it's a short season. Right. With the leaves changing, they don't last. It's only, I wish it would be at least four weeks. It's not. It's like two and a half, and it's gorgeous. It's exceptional.

Yeah. It's like incredible. It's like the golden hour. Yes. All day. It's beautiful. So she flew in and she said her son Dylan, they were looking out on the plane and just how beautiful it is.

And I've never flown. And I usually go up north and we drive, we take a trip. every fall, my husband and I, but I've never really flown in the fall. Oh, you said that. You said that. You need to take a flight. Yeah. To take a flight now. So you can see it. Right, because it's already, literally the leaves are falling off today. You're already falling off. It's getting very cold. It's so fast. It's so fast, but so spectacular. And it's something I always took for granted when I lived here. Right. But now it just, wow, it just jumps out at me because we only see green trees where I live, right? So it's like, suddenly when

something's taken from you or, you know, absent from your life, you really appreciate it so much more. Right. Right. I'll be happy when I'm back in Miami, but it's nice to see for sure. Well, we'll miss you. Yeah, I'll miss you guys too. I mean, listen, as I was telling you, one of the things that stinks about being single is when you have to go to a wedding by yourself because you're like, oh, this is going to be awful. Everyone's going to ask why I'm not married. Like, it just, it reminds you that you're, you know, not in a relationship with. somebody. But yesterday, that was not the case at all. Nobody even asked me why I was single. Isn't that crazy? Usually that happens. I've been married forever. Yeah. I never thought about it. Yeah.

That being a single person, going and having all the people. It's like when a woman is getting married, oh, you're having kids yet. Exactly. Same thing. I never thought about that. That is uncomfortable. Always. People should say, keep your opinions to yourself though. Yeah. You know, if you show up single, okay, it doesn't have to be about, oh, aren't you getting married? Why is that? Right, what's going on? Because I bet single people feel like that. Of course they do.

Especially in your 40s when you show up somewhere. Oh my God, of course. Yeah. It's definitely. But I'm happy you felt comfortable. Oh, yeah. And you know what's so funny is I was talking. There was a lot of my ex-boyfriends were there yesterday, which is so weird, right?

That's one of the funny things coming home. That is so weird. And then I was talking to a friend of mine who I forgot was a cousin of another guy that I had dated and I said, and he was telling me how well he's doing. And I said, oh, gosh, I guess it was an epic fail. I broke up with him. And he looked at me and he said, no, you were so right to break up with him. And it was just one of those funny moments that you're like, I was joking when I said it, but he was saying, no, like, Heather, good move. So it's just like that further affirmation that, okay, yeah, I did, listen, I might be single, but I'm glad I didn't settle for any of these people

that were not meant for me. Exactly. You're right where you're supposed to be. And that's what You just have to accept and welcome that who knows what tomorrow holds. Who knows what today holds? Like, life is literally an adventure. It's going to be whatever it is meant for you. And you just have to move forward with that optimism and that excitement for like, who knows what's going to happen next. But I just can't wait.

It's so fun. It is so fun. The journey is always. The joy is in the journey. Yes. I love that. Yeah. It's not the finish line always.

It's like, what's next? Next. Where am I going to be next? Like, who am I going to meet next? It's exciting. Yeah, it really is exciting. And I know God has a plan for you and God has a man for you. Okay? Yeah. We'll make a shirt. Yeah. We need that. We need that. I like that T-shirt. I like that. God has a plan and a man for me. So stay just just be where you are. Okay. Tell me, because you have such an incredible marriage. You're such an incredible husband. You're such an incredible wife. How do you guys keep it? Like we're talking about how it's exciting for me. we don't know what's coming next in my life. How do you keep it exciting for you guys when you do know what's coming next? Oh, that's so good. You know, my husband and I, Tony, we really work hard at our marriage. We really do. It's not just the way it is because it's just the way it is. We really put time in with each other. We spend quality time together. And you guys date. We date. Yeah.

Exactly. You really do. We really do. If you guys are stuck in a relationship and you've been married for a while and stagnant. I'm telling you, you have to put that time in with that person so you don't just doing the same thing. It gets monotonous. You have to go on a date. Go somewhere different. Tony and I just went to Maine. Right, right. It's a beautiful hotel we go to and we found it. We happen to find it through another friend, but we just date, like you said, that's exactly right. He'll say, let's go out, let's go to dinner. We don't lose it. You know, we don't just get, you know, every day we do the same things. And I watch my parents. And I watch my parents. You know, I had a really great parents.

They loved each other. But they didn't date like me and Tony. They had a great marriage, though. I can't, the best. But I, it was day in, day out, doing the same thing. And you see people get bored all the time. Right. So you have to really put work into your relationships so they can flourish because they'll get stale.

But you know, one thing I'll add to, as an observer, you know, and long-time friend of both of you, independently, here's what I'll say that I notice. And he and I were speaking about this this morning. He was telling me like, oh, I'm going to start coaching. And I'm like, he's taking on new things of interest to him separate from you. Like, not negative, but like stuff to make him interested and interesting and trying different things that are cool and like giving back and doing his own things that make him happy. And then you do the same thing. Like you just went to California. And like you were like, I'm going to, you know what?

I want to invest in myself. And I want to like learn and grow and like be around people who are ahead of me. And like you go invest in yourself. And you take that time to stay. interesting. Like you both separately and together work on yourselves. Exactly. That's so important because we have to constantly evolving and growing as people and we have to keep climbing. We have to keep trying new things. So Tony and I, that's a good point. I never looked at it like that. But he does. He does a lot of things on his own. I do a lot of things on my own and we do a lot of things together.

But we love where each other is at. Yeah. I love the things he's doing, the man he is. And I think he respects me too. It's a respect thing, you know. So I think that's part of having a strong relationship. You know, when people try to change the other person. Like, he doesn't do what I want him to do. Right. He won't change. I'm like, well, he's not supposed to change. He's him. You should love him. You fell in love with the guy. So why are you trying to change him? Love him for him. So I think that's a really positive thing that Tony and I share. He loves me for me. I love him for him. And we don't try to change each other. But one of the things you do, is your champions for one another. You encourage each other so much so.

That's what makes a great marriage. I wanted a great marriage. I declared that my whole life. So my mom, I love talking about my mom. But she did. She taught me to put the time and tell my husband he's handsome, you know, half the 20, whatever. She would always say, Kelly, before he leaves in the morning, did you tell him he looks good? And I'm like, no. Because you don't think about doing that. Right. But she taught me to do those little things that just make a marriage, make a relationship. I'm looking right now, I'm in your office and I'm looking at all the messages.

Like I so believe in the power of messaging, in the power of frequency and in what you see and surround yourself with. And literally, there's so many pictures in here of you and your husband kissing of you and your husband getting married. And then there's all these messages of with God, all things are possible. love is patient, love is kind. I'm going to make you so proud. There's all these positive messages all around the walls too. Right. Like this is work, but you make a commitment to do it. I love it. You said the frequency. Yes. And it's constant. If I don't tell myself all this and look at this constantly, you know, I need to feed myself these positive messages all the time. If you don't do that, then you're going to take all the negative thoughts in your head that we have 80,000 a day.

Those are going to fill up. You're going to start believing those. So you have to put the positive in. You know, I just got this new one. God is making a way where this seems to be no way because there's so many times when you're in trouble or you're just, you know, stressed out. And I always say God will make a way when there seems to be no way. So that's my newest one. I love that one. I love it. I love it. Tell everybody, how can they find you? Tell them about your podcast. Tell them about the book. Okay. So Kelly, Tyen on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook. My book is called Addicted to the Climb. and my podcast is also called Addicted to the Climb. It's really a message and a movement for women, particularly.

I've been coaching women for years, but just to help people stay on the climb with a very strong faith. So when life gets unshakable, you're firmly planted with God. So you can find me there and message me. If you have any questions, I'd love to chat with Heather's listeners. And I will have a better voice on my podcast. This is just a one-time thing. I'm going to go to bed.

Well, thank you for showing up for me today. Thank you for showing up for our listeners. And thank you for your commitment to faith, for giving me permission in a traditional scenario yesterday. And thank you for being you. Thank you, Heather, for having me. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. This journey with me.