Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #266: Why YOUR BEST Is Yet To Come, With Heather!

Episode Date: November 2, 2022

Have you been wanting to work with me? My annual Elite Mastermind is open NOW! Click the link below to learn more and apply now if you are ready to go to the next level! https://bit.ly/hm-cc-mastermind  In This Episode You Will Learn About:  The importance of expecting great things   They keys to sets yourself up for success How and why you need to launch your personal brand and yes you already have one! The best investment you will ever make... Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  The power of gratitude is INCREDIBLE! Give yourself 5 minutes everyday to notice everything in your life you're grateful for. When you start investing in yourself, more opportunities will come your way. Trust me, it will make all the difference in your life! Start expecting great things to happen, and miracles will reveal themselves. It’s time to set those goals, and go after what you’ve been putting off!  

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, so a lot to catch up on. The first thing I want to actually share, I was looking at my good friend, John Gordon.

You don't follow him on social media. Follow him. He's got the most amazing books. great podcast, great guy. He and his wife are amazing people. And I just watched a reel of his on Instagram. I'm going to tell you what he said. But I really love it. I've been doing probably for about a year now. I have this very intentional practice of speaking to God every morning, praying to God every morning, and setting that intention for the day, asking, you know, for that which I would love to have, being grateful thanking and being grateful that for which I do have, and really putting

out there to God into the universe, that which I would love to see come to fruition, right? Not knowing what will happen, but if you don't put it out there, it certainly won't happen. You might as well try, right? So anyways, I just saw a reel that John did, and it said basically this. His life was at the lowest point. His wife had given him an ultimatum. He had two kids. He was 31, and miserable, and he decided every day to start his morning off, going on a walk and saying this out loud every day for 30 days. Here we go. I expect great things to happen today. God, I trust in your plan for my life. I accept all the joy, love, success, and abundance in my life. Every day, I'm getting stronger, healthier, and better. And I accept all of the people that want to work

with me and benefit from my gifts and talents the best is yet to come. So he did this every day, for 30 days and literally saw miracle after miracle occur in his life and is so grateful for that practice and he's continued it his whole life. What's interesting is I've been doing something similarly without knowing about John doing this for about a year now. I guess, yeah, almost a year, a little shy of year, maybe like nine months, this year. And so does it make a difference? I 100% will tell you it does make a difference. So if you're not praying to God each morning or having some type of an intention that you're setting for or asking God in the universe for that which you would love to see come to fruition, you are not setting yourself up for as much

success as you could. So I highly suggest, do it for seven days. Do it for one month. John was challenging people to do it for 30 days. Just, you know, give yourself five minutes while you're brushing your teeth. I don't care when. Just do it. I wake up really, really early because my son goes to school early, and I start making my coffee, and that's when my coffee is heating is when I go and do this, right? So it's a few minutes every day. There is no downside. Nothing bad will happen, but I promise you the chances of miracles showing up in your life are incredibly high. So please, try it. Okay. I just want the best for you. And yes, the best is yet to come. You've got to believe that. You've got to believe it to receive it, and you've got to expect it and allow it into your life.

Okay, so I'm operating on no sleep right now, which is super annoying. Anyone that's listening that has a teen, I so feel for you. I can't stand this where they go out at night and then they don't want to come home until so late. I'm literally in text wars with my child trying to get him to come home before midnight. It's very, very frustrating and exhausting. And I am never at my best without sleep, right? I'm sure you're the same way. And it's funny because in these days, like today, I'm actually recording this on a Sunday, it's an incredible day in my Miami, so beautiful. I'm so blessed, healthy. I live in the most incredible place, which I'm so grateful for, so thankful for every minute of every day. I love our home. My son is wonderful.

You know, we're both healthy. We're so blessed. We just went to church and had an amazing message that we walked away from church today with and just feel so uplifted. However, I'm exhausted, right? And so I never feel at my best, and I just keep reminding myself to give myself grace. that tomorrow's going to be a better day. And then I backtrack it to one week ago. If you haven't heard the episode from last week, I didn't do it solo. Instead, I did it with one of my best friends. I was in Boston for a wedding and we did the episode together. Go listen to it, the episode with Kelly Tyen. It was so funny and super interesting. She's got an incredible marriage and she was sharing why her marriage is so great and what she does to make it so great, why it works,

which is super helpful for me, seeing as how I am not currently married, and I want to. a great marriage. So that was helpful. And then also just some other things that we learned that weekend, some crazy things that weekend that were pretty exceptional. So go check out that episode. I definitely loved it. You know, a couple of things that I want to share with you. Over the last week, I recorded a ton of podcast episodes. I was a guest on a bunch of podcast episodes, and I had a bunch of guests on mine. There's a reason why I did that and I want to share it to you. Sometimes people say to me, you know, you work too much or, gosh, all you ever do is work. And believe me, there's moments in time where I truly feel like that is the case. But heading into the holidays

this year and having just moved into my new condo, right, there's just been chaotic. And I wanted to find a way to just like go under and get as much stuff done as I could so that I wouldn't have to every week be saying, oh, gosh, who do I have on the show this week? And, you know, take it hard for one week and really create a ton of podcasts and content so that now this week I can take a little bit of a step back and say, okay, now I can breathe. I have no pressure on me. Like the podcast is set, now what are those next strategic things that I want to do as I set myself up for 2023? And if you haven't really been thinking about that yet, I challenge you to do that today, right? What are your goals going to be for next year? How can you challenge yourself to go bigger, you know, get healthier,

improve your relationships, improve your business, diversify your business, whatever it may be, you know, to kind of reflect and set goals, set intentions, and then create a roadmap and strategy for where you want to go. So this week coming up is basically where I'm going to be doing that. Cut to, you know, you make plans and God laughs. I have been working, and I haven't really talked to you guys about this much, but I've been working on a number of different projects, right? I'm always working on some crazy ideas in addition to my books, my speaking, my podcasts, and my board seat, I'm always looking at ways that I can add value, innovate, new business models, you know, like what is that next thing, right? Because I was in a traditional business for 20-something years,

and I just saw people doing things the same way over and over again and business declining. And while they couldn't help themselves, they wouldn't change. They wouldn't innovate. It drove me crazy, never let yourself be that person, right? Don't just do it one way because that's the way it's always been done. That's a death sentence. Not only personally and about evolving and growing, but from a business standpoint, your business, things around you are going to continuously change. That's the constant you've got to change too. You've got to change and involve product, services, marketing, you know, customer support, whatever it may be, and all of it, if you want to remain relevant or become more relevant and increase.

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So, you know, I'm always challenging myself, and sometimes it works out and sometimes it doesn't, right? Plenty of business ideas I've had have failed. my clothing line with Perry Ellisville, my skincare line with another company, never came to market, right? I've got a few things that I've really gone deep into, like nine months, 10 months of work, and it didn't work out. But, you know, I have two books out there. I have 300 podcast episodes out there. I have thousands of speeches I've done, right? I've created so many other things that did work out that I don't focus on what didn't, right? So keep your focus on what is working and then

keep innovating, trying, and brainstorming new ideas. To that end, about a year ago, I don't believe, number one, I don't believe people come into your life just for no reason, right? I believe that there is a reason why people come into your life. A good friend of mine, seven years ago, introduced me to a woman in New York. Whenever I'm traveling for work, I always take the meetings, right? Like, you never, hey, I'm here. There's an opportunity to meet someone. It could be a new open door. I could help them. They could help me. You just never know. I don't, you know, I need to jump on opportunity when it's there. So she and I hit it off. We became friendly. We've seen each other a few times over the last seven years. You know, we're friendly,

but we're not close, which is fine. However, I had this business idea about a year ago, a little over a year ago. And I thought, oh my gosh, her background and expertise is ideal for this idea. She would be my ideal partner because I know her. I like her. I trust her. Right. She's very, very close with a very close friend of mine. And she's just a good person. And so I thought, if I'm going to get into business with someone, I want to get into business with people I know like and trust, and I don't want to have to do everything, right? One thing I've learned is I've gotten older. I'm great at certain things. I'm not great at, you know, different things, right? So manufacturing, I know nothing about that, right? There's certain things I know nothing about. I know how to sell

and market things. I know how to see a vision and execute on it. I know how to pick good partners. But I don't know how to manufacture things. I mean, there's plenty of things I have no clue on. She knows how to do all those things. So, anyhow, it was a little over a year ago. I reached out to her. And I said, hey, I've got a really interesting idea. I would love, because of your background and expertise,

to partner with you on this if you think that this is a viable idea. I share the idea with her. She's like, you know what? I really like that idea. It's cool. Heather, you're saying you'd be responsible for selling it, marketing it. Like, she's like, that's the stuff that I don't really love doing. know, this is perfect. You would let me take the piece that I love to do and then I'm really skilled

at and then you would take the other piece from me and then we would both benefit. Exactly. Okay, great. I said, so what I need to do is I need a product. I need a sample of what I'm telling you, right? And so we mapped it out. We were back and forth with pictures, sketches, whatever. And she said, okay, I've got a good enough handle on it now. Let me go do what I do. She's like, and I'll figure out a way to get you a prototype back. And I said, once I have something in my hand, I'm going to go sell it to this other partner that I will literally get us in front of millions of people. And this thing will just go wildfire. That was my goal. So she says, okay, let me get a prototype. Just so you know, two days ago, I just got the prototype. It's been about one year, a little bit longer than a year.

That's how long. It's so crazy. And I tell you this to encourage you, no matter where you are in your journey right now with your ideas, with what you're working on. Don't get discouraged. I was getting super discouraged in the past year that this just wasn't coming to fruition. And I got it. Right. So it's a bummer. It took this long, but I got it. And now it's on me to say, okay, I need to get on the flight. I need to go bring this prototype and pitch it to this potential partner. See if I can get a yes. And then if I can get a yes, I want to get in front of that audience and sell the heck out of this thing. So, all right, put good vibes out there for me this week. because number one, you know I believe in face-to-face.

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They're going to be coming up in the next few weeks. Super interesting. Okay, one was the founder of Sprinkles. Her name's Candice. Super successful, right? She has her own TV shows. She has two different successful franchises, a pizza chain, a cupcake chain. She's written two best-selling books. This lady is beyond successful. Whatever she touches, turns to gold, right? Amazing. And an incredible story. Literally, she lost her job, launched this cupcake business, And within like two weeks, the business exploded. Ultimately, Oprah talked about it. And then there was no looking back.

She, like, wildfire that company scale. Ridiculous success. Right out of the gate. Sort of like that miracle moment. And I ask her all about that. Like, what do you attribute? Like, why didn't that happen for me? What the ass?

I mean, I'm happy for her, but I'm like, how do I get someone out of my life? Hello. So we get into the details of why she thinks that happened. However, the reason why I'm sharing this is, you know, it's so easy to get caught up in, why doesn't that happen for me? Because that's totally how I felt when I was interviewing her. Cut to that same day, I interviewed my friend Jess Ekstrom, who's amazing. She's the founder of Headbands for Hope, a company that donates headbands to children with cancer. She's helped literally millions of kids. I mean, she's such an incredible human, but she's in a for-profit business, right?

just now, 10 years later, after she's been working on this, she just got into Coles. 10 years later. So I share that interesting, as I said, juxtaposed between those two stories and that some people can blow up on day one and no one knows why it happens or, you know, Candace was saying, you know, I just feel like I'm in such an alignment. And, you know, once I got in alignment with what I was meant to do, everything exploded. Who knows what the reason is? but I want to encourage you to not give up because it took a year for me to get the prototype

that I thought would take a couple of months, right? Max, it took a year, a little over a year, right? That was not our plan going in. And a million different things can happen that can slow you down or discourage you. Thank goodness my friend Jess didn't give up. It took her 10 years to, quote, unquote, make it, right? To get into coals. Well, now her business is going to explode.

And she didn't know on what day she'd hit the tipping point. She just wouldn't give up. And for her, she stays so connected to her why. She's helping kids. And so she said, I'd never give up. It didn't even matter if I got into colds or not. I'm not going to give up. So reconnect to your why.

Stay focused. And no, your company could blow up tomorrow. The magic could happen tomorrow, just like it did for Candace, literally a couple of days or a couple of weeks into her business, everything exploded when Oprah said that she loved the, sprinkles cupcake on air and gave it out to everybody. It's such a cool story. You've got to listen to both those episodes. I love them. Okay, hoping to encourage you, don't give up. You never know what's around that next corner. It could be tomorrow. Maybe it is. I'm hoping it is for me.

Okay, so, all right, I gave a speech yesterday or two days ago for the pivot school, which is a fashion school. Here's what's interesting. I had never done a speech for a fashion audience, right? I'm a fashion expert. However, I would like to be one. I love fashion, but I am not. And it was interesting when they hired me, they came to me through one of my agents. And when they told me, they wanted me, I thought, why the heck would they want me? Right. This doesn't make sense. It's not my normal audience. And they explained, oh, they're bringing you in as an expert on personal branding. And I thought, oh, okay, I get it. They want to teach, you know, this group of people who are experts in the fashion business how to brand themselves personally.

not just through their labels. Okay, got that. Absolutely, I can do that. And I do a lot of speeches for businesses around personal branding for their employees. It's basically the same thing. It struck me a little different because of the fashion arena. Well, I was excited about it until I found out, you know, some of the other keynote speakers I was lined up with. I was the only one without a TV show. And when I tell you, okay, fish out of water moment, Rachel Zoe is one of the other speakers, right? These are people who are millions of followers, their own TV shows, you know, hundreds of millions of dollar brands, right? Much more successful than I currently am. And so, of course, just like you, I'm sure I have those moments where I question,

oh, gee, like, what? They really, and there's my face right next to their faces. And so leading up to it, I didn't think that much about it, right? I don't get into my head that much. I kind of stay focused on what's right in front of me like for today and this week. So I don't get too crazy worrying about stuff like that that's far away. But as I got to like the day before and realized, you know, Rachel's-O and all these other people with their own shows. And of course I started thinking, do I really belong? Right. I don't even know if it's imposter syndrome. I just felt like, I don't know that I'm at their level for this opportunity, right? I just, I don't. So I was doubting myself and feeling like I was lacking a little confidence. And so I had to go back,

you know, to all the things that I ask everybody to do, right? Like, I remind myself what I'm great at. They brought me in for personal branding. My personal brand is really solid, right? I've been working on it for five years. And I can speak to that, right? I can't speak like Rachel Zoda fashion, but then I've never designed anything and I'm in awe of these people that can. But what I'm talking about is what I am great at, right? I am great at my personal brand. I'm super proud of that. And I've helped so many companies with their employees with personal branding. This is really no different. I had to take Rachel Zoe and all these other people off the pedestal just because they have TV shows and multimillion dollar brands doesn't mean that they're better than me, right? That's what I

was telling myself anyways. And yes, I was feeling a little not my best, right? So when I feel like that, I just think, Heather, if you can reach one person, if you can connect with one person, you know, that's your goal. Make it about them. Make it about the why. I want to share what I've learned so that I can help others and bring, you know, more joy, opportunity, good revenue into their life, whatever that may be. So I was doing a 30-minute keynote and then a live 15-minute Q&A.

And they do tech checks for you when you're doing these virtual events a few days earlier. And so the moderator, the lead guy, Jeff was on there. And he was so cool. And, you know, we were laughing. We just hit it off. So immediately I felt better, right? So anytime you can put yourself around the people that you're going to be involved with when you're nervous about something, it's just going to help you familiarize yourself, whether it be with the location, the people, anything you can do like that helps so much. So I felt better because he and I hit it off. I knew in my mind would I be walking into. I knew Rachel would be after me. I was the first keynote that day. And of course, I wanted to do a great job. And so I just thought, bring your high energy, bring all of the intel you have around personal branding, teach it, share it, get these guys excited for the rest of their day and answer their questions, right? And so it's always important to me to engage the audience, right? You want people asking questions, responding to you, shout out, right? You don't want people sitting around bored not paying attention. So I definitely brought high energy. I definitely engaged the audience. And I shared for them, what I'm going to share with you right now, which is that everybody has a personal

brand. You might think you don't. Let's put it this way. You're either allowing someone else to create your personal brand or you're holding the pen and directing it. Which would you rather? Right. So for me, I hold the pen and direct my personal brand. Are you orchestrating yours? And you're saying, well, in my case, Heather, I don't have one. Yes, you do. And that's called a reputation. T-Swifties, right? So reputation. So people are talking about you behind your back when you're not around saying certain things, some great, some not so great, whatever, but that's your personal brand. That's what people talk about when you're not around. Why not hold the pen and design it and have your strategy and you create it and cultivate it? Yes, you should. First of all, you know,

you want to think about what are those brand pillars? What do you stand for? How do you want to make people feel? What do people say to you? Start processing and thinking about, you know, from a big picture standpoint, you don't have to kill yourself with this. It's not hard. Don't make it harder than it is. But, you know, for me, I was building a personal brand around empowerment, around motivation, around resilience, around growth, around business, sales, right? There were so many different things, and I narrowed it down to four. And then I would see the content I created through that lens. Does this fit with my personal brand? Right. So these are just basic questions you want to ask yourself. Then you want to, you know, you need to show up consistently on social media. I also added a website, right,

to help with my personal brand and help with SEO. These are all things you can do along the way, by the way. You don't have to do it all tomorrow. You can, if you want, and I suggest it, but you're going to have to invest in yourself, right? I did that. And investing in yourself is the best investment you will ever make. Your personal brand will go with you everywhere you go. So I started crafting my personal brand when I was still in corporate America, still working at the company that ends up firing me. And I'm so glad that I did because I'm I had a year in before I was fired of creating that community, creating that personal brand, and telling that narrative. So I had some, I've been established in some bigger way. So when I did get

fired, I was able to reach out to my community and ask for help. And that's what landed me on the Elvis Durant show, right? So none of those things would have happened. If I hadn't invested in myself, hadn't had that vision and intention to be in charge of my personal brand and direct it. So get clear on your intention, write it down. Give yourself some goals. This This is no different than setting goals for 2023. Write them down, put a plan together, and be consistent with it, right? And then for me, on Sundays would be the day I would strategize my content for the week. When I first launched, I wasn't doing the James Altasier show or Gary Vee's show.

No, I would take any small opportunity I could get, right? You've got to start somewhere. You've got to stay clear with your vision and your intention and know that it will grow over time. And very similar to the sprinkles and headband story, some people are going to find success on week one. Some people, it might take five years, right? I definitely am the latter. I didn't find massive success on day one. But I started finding so much more success when I got fired.

Here's why. I was vanilla before I got fired. I wasn't being very authentic or unique. I was just posting sales content, sales leadership content, very dry, straightforward. I was doing that because I was getting such a hard time at work from the woman that ended up firing me and the G.C. That I was trying to play between the lines, right? The minute I got fired, that Band-Aid got ripped off and I started shouting from the mountaintops what my truths were. And that was unique.

Nobody was talking about getting fired back then. And that was one of my goals was to normalize that getting fired's fine. It has nothing to do about you. It just means you're no longer the right fit for that company. Keep it moving. You don't need to feel guilty. or shame. There's nothing bad about that. It's a pivot moment and a redirect, not a rejection. So anyhow, I definitely started seeing growth when I became the most authentic version of myself.

And I encourage anyone that is in charge of their personal brand and directing it, show up as that real authentic version of you. You know, whoever that is, you need to show why you're unique and different. That's the value prop. That's how you separate yourself from, you know, just mediocrity that's out there everywhere. There's so many people creating content online, and so much of it is just imitating other people. Never be a B-rate version of someone else. Always be that A-rate, top-shelf version of you. So don't be the knockoff, right? It's not worth it. Just be you. And when you truly show up as you, that's when you start attracting the right people to you. For a while, when I was in corporate America, I was showing up with a

a B-rate version of myself in hopes it would make somebody else feel more comfortable and less threatened. I was wrong. The reality is when you are a threat, you will always be a target. And you playing small for somebody else isn't going to change the way that they feel about you. It's going to change the way that you feel about you. And that outcome will never be a positive one. So please don't do that, right? Show up as that real version of you. Show up as that biggest, boldest version of you. And know that when you do that, the right doors will open. The right people will show up, especially for your community and your personal brand online. So make that commitment to shine your light. And when you do that, you're going to ignite and inspire others and attract those right people to you.

That, my friends, is fact. Okay. So I got into a lot of this. And then specifically I was sharing with the audience that, for example, with fashion, I'm sure many of them just think Instagram, right? To me, what I've learned is you never want to go just all in on one platform. That is a death sentence because you can get your account taken away or you can get sent to Instagram jail and then everything disappears overnight. Never rely on one stream or one pipeline for your business. That is just, it's ludicrous, right? So you want to diversify to protect yourself and set yourself up for more success. In fact,

you know, Instagram is so played out because it's a pay for play platform now. It wasn't years ago, but TikTok and LinkedIn are the two algorithms that have true massive growth opportunities. And I was really suggesting everyone lean into those. So specifically with LinkedIn, being consistent, showing up every day. I've been showing up every day on LinkedIn for over five years now. and I built a massive community on LinkedIn, and it served me incredibly well. That's where the majority of my business leads come from every day. It's an incredible platform. And to that end, I shared with this fashion audience.

I said, I know what many of you are probably thinking. Well, Heather, great for you. You're trying to get companies and businesses to hire you for speeches, but we're trying to sell clothes for a fashion brand, let's say. So what I explained to them is this. Okay, then always think about your end. end user when you're creating content, when you're marketing yourself or selling something. So your end user, let's say it's me. Okay, a single working mother, okay, think about that.

Is a single working mother going to wear your dress? Well, yeah, she could, right? How is it going to make her feel? Why would she pick your dress? Think about all these things and then create content to speak to that. And so my idea just, you know, brainstorming is, okay, top three ways that a single working mother can get ready in the morning when she has zero time and still look and feel her best. Boom, boom, boom. You hit them with the tips or strategies or techniques and tactics. And then ultimately, you're showcasing your brand and sharing how this dress is going to make this person feel. It's going to allow her to get ready faster and walk out the door feeling like a million bucks. That is great content creation or telling stories, right? Tell stories about

your customers and how your clothes make them feel. and what happened to them when they had it on, right? Storytelling is such a powerful way to create content that really resonates with other people. Okay, so we were going through a lot of that. And then we got to live Q&A, which I always love live Q&A. It's so fun and so interesting to hear the things, you know, that people say. And really, it wasn't so much, this isn't shocking. It wasn't so much around, hey, Heather, you know, how do we create content on a business

platform or, you know, what do you suggest for brand pillars or any of that. It was really around how do you show up as the most authentic version of yourself, when other people are going to judge you. It was all about confidence. Imposter syndrome. Why am, why should I call myself that? Am I right and saying I am a fashion expert? Like, it's all about the self-doubt going back to that, right? And it's just so interesting. And here I was walking into this event full of self-doubt. Remember the whole Rachel's own moment, right? So I just, it's so interesting to me how everybody suffers with self-doubt. And yet in the moment we think we're alone. So the sooner and faster, we can shine a light on that. Create content around that. Hey, today's the first day I'm ever posting on LinkedIn. And I've got

to tell you, I feel like I have imposter syndrome right now. I've spent my life and my life's work designing clothes. I've been in fashion. I'm consumed with fashion 24-7 to jump on this platform with my message of making other people feel amazing and clothes scares me. Have you ever felt scared? That's a post, right? So just start leaning into who you are, what's unique and different about you. And when you do that, you will start pulling people towards you or attracting people towards you that are looking for someone like you. So, and don't worry if you think, well, other people are sharing a message like that already. I don't need to be out there doing it. your backstory, the way you look, the way you say it, the frequency that you're emitting this

message on is going to be entirely different than mine or somebody else's, and only certain unique people will be able to connect with that message because it came from you. So don't keep your power and magic from the world. Give the world your light, your magic, because the world needs it today more than ever. Okay, so until next week, I hope you keep creating your confidence. I hope you keep evolving and challenging yourself to grow. If you like this episode, the only way I know is if you leave me a review, I would so appreciate it. If you share it on social, tag me. I will repost. No one succeeds alone. And that includes your grow. Until next week, keep creating your confidence.