Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #269: How To CREATE When You Aren’t Feeling Inspired With Jess Ekstrom, The Founder Of Headbands Of Hope

Episode Date: November 15, 2022

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  The power of starting small   How to make your OWN path  Appreciating what you have  Defining your ambition  Resources: Website: jessekstrom.com & www.headbandsofhope.com  Pre Order: Create Your Bright Ideas  Join The Mic Drop Workshop  Listen to: Business on the Brightside Text HYPE to 704-228-9495  Email: [e-mail]  LinkedIn & Facebook: @Jess Ekstrom  Instagram & Twitter: @jess_ekstrom Instagram: @headbandsofhope Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  Is there something you’ve always wanted to try, but have been too scared to go after? Well, why don’t you try it NOW! There is no better time than the present moment. Jess Ekstrom, the Founder of Headbands Of Hope, is here to inspire us to start going after our goals, EXACTLY where we are, with what we have! You don’t have to choose between making a positive difference and making a living! Tune in to discover the WHY behind your ambition.   About The Guest: Jess Ekstrom is BACK! She’s the founder of Headbands Of Hope, a company that donates headbands to kids with illnesses for every headband sold. They’ve donated over 1 million headbands! Jess is using the ups and downs she’s faced in life to inspire others to share their stories. As the author of Create Your Bright Ideas she is encouraging us all to connect with our ambition and create our own success.    If You Liked This Episode You Might Also Like These Episodes: Jess Ekstrom: Finding Purpose And Passion Choosing JOY With Heather!  Why Your Mindset Is The KEY To Success! With Sara Blakley & Jesse Itzler 

I really want create your bright ideas to inspire, like, kids, teens, and adults to just start where you are with what you have. You know, the idea of like, go big or go home is like not something I subscribe to. I'm like, why do you start small at home with what you have today and then see where it can bring you tomorrow? I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. Overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back.

I'm so excited for you to meet or reacquaint yourself with Jess Ekstrom. She's been on the show before. If you haven't checked out her episode, go back to 2019 and check it out. I will link it in the show notes. Jess is the founder of Headbands of Hope, a company that donates headbands to kids with illness with every headband sold. Headbands of Hope has been featured on the Today Show. Good Morning America. QBC, The View, and worn by celebrities like Kelsey Ballerini.

More importantly, Headbands of Hope has donated over one million headbands, reaching every single children's hospital in America and 22 countries. After starting her own company, she wanted to use her ups and her downs to help others become valued as experts in their industry. Jess is the author of Chasing the Bright Side. Came out in 2019, and that's what our first episode is all about, and create your bright ideas, 2002, her newest book,

and creator of Mike Drop Workshop, an e-learning company that helps women tell and sell their stories as thought leaders. For three years, Jess lived and traveled full-time in her airstream with her husband Jake and their 70-pound dog, Ollie. Now, finally, they are in a house in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Jess, thanks so much for being here. Thanks for having me back. I know I think the last time we talked, one was pre-pandemic. And two, I was in an airstream trailer. So a lot has changed since then. Let's get into that because we were just offline talking a little bit about it. And to me, I know everybody's different.

I can never fathom. Well, I mean, I have a 15-year-olds, I wouldn't be able to do it anyways. But even if I didn't, I can't fathom living in an airstream and driving and traveling around. Give us an idea of what that's like. Oh, my gosh. Well, first, like, let me set the scene for you. So, I mean, it was 25 feet long. And my husband's a former football player.

And so he's like 6'5, like a really big guy. So anything he does in the airstream is like straight out of a scene from Elf, if you've seen that movie. We're like sitting in the chair trying to make dinner. But, you know, it was not supposed to be three years. It started as an idea for a book tour for chasing the bright side. We were like, oh, let's go to a couple different cities. It'll be great.

And then the pandemic hit while we were still in the airstream and we're like, what are we going to do? Just sit at home. Like we're outside in nature, like kind of going around the country. Why not? But I think, you know, one of the things that I learned, too, is that just try it on. If there's something that you want to do or something that you want to like achieve, you know, what we ended up doing is like, what if for one month we just shipped in our mindset to say,

okay, we're going to drop everything and go live in an airstream trailer. And then by the time that month is up, you know, you can either say, yeah, this feels good or like, no, this isn't what I want to do. And so, like, the air stream, it was great, but it also just taught me that, like, you can shift and pivot all the time and things aren't permanent. Oh, that's so good. And now I love that you're appreciating just the normalness of living in a house. Yes, totally. I was just telling you before this. I'm like, you know, obviously in an airstream, it was fun, but everything was a little, like, all the simple things were a little bit more complicated, you know, like doing laundry and finding, you know, like putting it the quarters and the quarters

slot or like looking for spiders or frogs and like the random showers that you're taking. And so now I'm like, oh my gosh, I have a dishwasher. Like this is, I mean, I am living large here. And we live in like a 1930s historic home. It's not large by any means. But it really does make you appreciate like the things that you didn't have before. And I know you were saying that with like being deprived of people from the pandemic. Like now it just feels so good to be talking and interacting. and seeing people in person. It's so exciting. And I, as I mentioned you, I just moved.

And I'm the same way. I lived in the same place for 17 years. So, of course, over 17 years, you kind of just take it for granted. I mean, this is where you live, right? I wasn't thinking consciously all the time about, wow, I love where I live. And now that I'm in a new place every day, I'm like, oh, my, I'm so grateful for this view. I'm so grateful, you know, for the technology in my condo now that I didn't have before.

Like, it's so, I don't know, you appreciate so much more. more when you get something that you haven't had. Yeah. And, you know, I think that it's, that's a trained skill, you know, to appreciate what you have because it's so easy. And I am incredibly guilty of this of like constantly moving the goalpost. You know, you think like, oh, well, once I live in this house or once, you know, in the air stream, and I was like, well, once we get to the West Coast or, you know, once I can publish

this book or once I can get here. And then you get that thing. And all the sudden, like, you have. haven't even celebrated it because you've moved the goalpost to like somewhere else that you don't have. And that can be so taxing and quite frankly just like not a fun way to live. And so I think that the airstream, the pandemic business, it's like, how do we just appreciate what we have and take a breath before we set our sights on something else? Yeah, that is so good. But like you said, it's so hard to do for people like us and people that are listening.

that are overachievers and type A and, you know, want to push yourselves. There is a fine line. I would say I'm definitely, like for the most part, I've never been like this, but I'm trying to, to your point, like I'm trying to say, okay, take the other day, I was like, oh, I should be writing my third book right now. Why am I not doing that? Because I heard another author was, and she was publishing it on the same timeline. I was, and it made me think like, oh, wake up call, Heather, like you're asleep at the

week. You know, that was just immediately jumped into my mind. and I had to say, I'm happy for her, but right now, I don't know that, you know, I'm in a space where I'm feeling like I want to do that. You know, maybe I want to take a few months where I'm doing speaking and doing some different things that I'm enjoying right now and then see what happens next. But yeah, it is important to take that pressure off. I couldn't relate even more. Like, I can get such so trapped in these like comparison traps. I'm like, I should be, you know, doing this or I should be speaking on that stage or I should be, you know, whatever.

But, you know, I talked about, I have two different types of ambition that might be helpful for anyone listening that, because sometimes we're ambitious towards things, but for like two completely different reasons. And so I like to classify it as anxious ambition and inspired ambition. And anxious ambition comes from wanting to work because you feel like you're behind. And then inspired ambition, I feel like comes from wanting to work because you feel like you're making something better. And when we can distinguish between like, why do I want to write another book? Is it because I saw so-and-so, you know, come out with their next book and she's hitting the New York Times? Or is it because I really feel like I have an idea that's going to help someone? And I find that

whenever I'm moving in a place of anxious ambition, like the work isn't really that good, you know, the things that I'm producing. I'm not having a good time. And I'm also like painting on someone else's campus. Like I'm creating things because someone else is, not because I actually feel that way. And when I'm working from a place of inspired ambition, the work is fun, the work is good, because I know that the thing that I'm creating is like solving a problem, scratching an itch or making something better. And so I a lot of times have to audit, okay, if I'm like ferociously working right now or wanting to do something, is it coming from a place of anxious ambition or inspired ambition? Well, you are the most.

master of inspired ambition in my mind because of Headbands of Hope. Like there's nothing that is more inspired and doing good and helping. For those who don't know you, who haven't listened to your previous episode or didn't read your first book, can you share a little bit about Headbands of Hope because it's such a beautiful company story. It's all amazing. Yeah. Oh, thank you. Yeah. I started Headbands Pope when I was in college. I was interning for the Make a Wish foundation and I was seeing, you know, a lot of kids that would come through make a wish. They would end up losing their hair if they were going through chemotherapy treatment. And a lot of them would be offered a wig or they'd be given a hat.

And a lot of them weren't really concerned with like something that would cover up their heads. They weren't really trying to hide their experience. They wanted to just restore their self-confidence and feel good about themselves again. And so I would see so many of these kids opting to like buy their own. headbands and wear headbands on their wish trips or into the office. And I just remembered seeing these photos and thinking like, oh, that is such a cool, amazing gesture of confidence that these kids want to wear headbands. And then I remembered like, oh, we should, you know, have a stash in our office or some headbands. There's probably an organization out there doing this. And so I looked up

like headbands for kids with illnesses or kids with cancer and like nothing came up yet. And I call it like the dumbest, smartest moment of my life being like 19 years old and like, how hard could it be? Like, I'll start a business. But I think like what's important about that like origin story is, you know, a lot of times we put so much fancy language and really like inaccessible goals around entrepreneurship like, oh, you have to start the next Airbnb or Spotify like in order to matter. But really, in my mind, entrepreneurship is about creating what you wish existed. And when there's moments of, like I like to call it inspiration from frustration. Like when you are frustrated about something or you think that something should be done better

or something that should exist, what if you could be the one that's inspired to change it? And so by knowing that there was a need for headbands in kids with cancer, realizing that no one was doing that, it wasn't like, oh, I'm going to start this multi-million dollar company. It was like, I'm going to solve this problem. And I think that that's where the best ideas come from is like scratching an itch. You know, what's the itch? That's the problem. And then your scratch is a solution.

That could either be starting a business or it could not. It could be something else. But so I started a Headbands of Hope in 2012 for every headband sold. We donate one to a child with an illness. And I'll tell you, and I think I probably, you know, have talked to you about this before, but it was like not fire right out of the gate. because one of my biggest pet peeves is like hearing entrepreneurs, you know, successful people tell their story and they're like, one day I had this idea and the next day, you know, we're sold out

in Macy's and we can't keep anything in stock. And, you know, Chloe Kardashian's wearing our headbands. And it's like, really? You know, that's how it happened. So I like to be real where I'm like, my first order was from my mom. Like my second order was from my grandpa after he called me to figure out how to work the website. I mean, it was crickets for a bit. But it was like, I knew that if I could just keep throwing darts at opportunities, like reaching out to bloggers or like, you know, sending headbands to people to wear, like, if I could just keep throwing darts and out of all those nose, I'm bound to get a yes. It was just, in my mind, it was just like math. It's like, well, if I can send, you know, 20 different things out, one thing has to come back.

And eventually it did. I remember the first blog that ever, and this was, you know, around 2012 when blogging was like super popular. the first blog that ever wrote about us, it was called Healthy Tipping Point. And I remember the day that that article came out, like we got $500 worth of sales on the website, which to me at that point was like a million dollars in retirement money. I was like $500. This is crazy. You know, there was just those little signs like in the beginning, even though it was slow to keep going with it. And I'm so glad that I did because today we've now donated over two million headbands. And we actually just launched in Coles this week. I don't know if I told you that.

That's amazing. Huge. Yeah. Yeah. So we're in all Coles locations now. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than a rough patch, you don't need just another meditation app. Tachiatry makes it easy to see a psychiatrist online using your insurance in days. Tachiatry is 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety. depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, insomnia, and more. Unlike therapy-only apps, psychiatry is psychiatry.

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2012, yeah. So 10 years later, and you're still getting wins now, it goes to show don't give up on your ideas. And it's interesting because I just interviewed Candace Nelson from Sprinkles, and her story is like what you were saying. She literally launched the business, Tyra Banks producer picked it up immediately and Oprah right after and she couldn't fulfill. To your point, it's one of those, like sometimes that happens, right?

The universe just shows up and offers all these opportunities and she couldn't handle the opportunity, you know, first-world problem, but still not every business takes off that way. My business definitely did not, right? Like yours didn't. That's definitely the more normal path, although we always highlight those really special moments like those Oprah moments. It doesn't have to go that way. Here you are still landing polls 10 years later. Yeah. Well, and it's like I think that it's the little moments to me that stand out the most.

Like we've had some of the big moments, you know, like Coles or we got, you know, our MBA and WMBA licensing this year. So we're now like a headband provider for all the teams. And we've had some really amazing moments. But I'll tell you the ones that like I think about the most fondly is like the first time I was ever to go into a children's hospital and like a bead, like that person that came in and they could pick out their favorite color and spend time with them. Or like the time I was in an airport, you know, a year or two after getting started and I saw a girl wearing a headband from headbands of hope. And I went up to her and said, I love your headband. And she started telling me all about headbands of hope and not, you know, not knowing who I was. And so it was like, those are the

moments that I think about the most. And I think that kind of sums up for me like what like success to me really is. A lot of times we think of success as like winning the Super Bowl. But when you really look at it, it's like the summation of all the first downs. It's like all the small moments that lead to where you are today. And so that could be, you know, again, in the form of a business or career or whatever. but it's like, don't breeze past the small moments because in the end, those are the things that add up and truly matter. I love that you're using the football analogies for your husband. That was very funny.

Yes, that's for him. If you're listening, that was for you, babe. Yeah. Oh, my gosh, that's like. Now, one thing I want to know from a business perspective, and there's a lot of data, and I actually did an episode about this, that when you tie a charity component to your business, your business will accelerate. However, what I love about you is you didn't do it from a business standpoint.

You created the business to fulfill the need and you're so passionate about helping people, you know, and great examples of stories you're sharing with us right now. How much has that origin story and the why behind your business impacted your business? One of the things that you said that I want to point out too is like, you know, there's almost two ways you can go about it. You can business to make money and then figure out how to donate it or figure out where the need is and then create a business around it. I definitely did the latter, which is the way that I like to work.

And it's really about like how can you find that overlap? I think of it as like a Venn diagram of like what are the things that you love to do that you're passionate about. And then where are some of the world's greatest needs and the problems? And so where can those things intersect and overlap? That could be your next big idea. And so I think in the beginning of Headbands of Hope, like we were right around the era of like Tom Shoes and, you know, the like doing good and doing well, not being a nonprofit organization. too was big for us because growing up, it's like that's what you talk, okay, either you're, you know, doing something good and making no money or you're making money and not doing any good.

And I think that, you know, consumerism and business has changed where like you shouldn't have to choose between making a living and making a difference, like be able to do both at once. In the beginning of Headbands of Hope, I think like making a difference was the thing that set us apart. But then as things went on, and a lot of brands were giving back, which is great, it's like no longer the only crutch that you can stand on. So we really had to focus on, yes, we want people to love our cause, but we want people to love the product even more. And so that was kind of a wake-up call for me, like five years into business was like, we can't just have this crutch of like, but look, what we do. It has to be something that

people want to wear and not just wear, but buy again or buy for their friends. And so now I would say like our products are just, I mean, we have like over 400 different types of headbands on the site that are like, you know, people will say, oh, I can't wear a headband. They squeeze my head head off. It's like, okay, well, then we'll create a headband that solves that problem. So at the end of the day, you kind of see the trend of like, to me, you know, which is why I wrote Craigor Bright ideas, like entrepreneurship isn't about all these big fancy things. It's about seeing problems and creating solutions. And so that happened from cause, but it also started to happen with product, which was really key to our success and lasting 10 years, which a lot of

businesses don't. Well, and that's also your willingness to innovate and evolve. I was a part of a traditional business for so many years, having been in the radio business for 20 years, there was never that commitment to innovate, the commitment to reinvest in the company to want to test and try, to want to evolve the product. And that's so key in any business is to listen to your consumer, listen to their pain points, and then invest and test and try. And one thing that you also brought up that I love was you talked about, you know, growing up, we saw it. And I thought this too, I had to go out and make a lot of money. And then when I wasn't at work, go and give back. And I was on a board of a charity for a decade. And I remember it was like I worked so hard during the day to make

wealthy people wealthier, right? There was no like give back component. And then on the weekends and at night, I would work so hard trying to build this charity up to do good so that I would feel good about myself. And then I was left with like no time in my life at all. Literally like I was, and I was pleased with the work I was doing the charity. I needed the paycheck. But I never saw beyond like to what you did. I never thought about is there a way I can merge these together. And had I not been fired, I wouldn't have even tried to figure it out. But it is so interesting. interesting today to be able to let everyone know it doesn't have to be this or that and is the actual word. It needs to be this and that and keep evolving and testing and trying until you find

out that solution for you. Exactly. And I'll go a step further that it also doesn't have to mean like leaving your job and starting your own thing, you know. And like I think, you know, again, we hear that tale of like, oh, well, I want to change things up. So I'm going to quit my job. and like move to a third world country and like try to save the world and solve hunger. And it's like, or what are the things that I'm involved in that I'm doing today, whether it's my work or my life, that I can make more meaningful? So for example, there was a study at Yale that I really love and they interviewed hospital custodians.

And they took one pool of custodians that were like really dissatisfied in their work that they didn't like their jobs. And they asked them like, what is it that they did every day? and one of them, you know, said, oh, I change the sheets. Another said, I take out the trash. I sanitize the equipment. And then they asked them why they did it. And one person said that, you know, I need benefits or I need salary, you know, to support my life and my family.

And then they asked, like, what their job titles were. And one person said, you know, a janitor, another custodian. And then another said maintenance worker. But then they interviewed another pool of custodians that had the exact same job. You know, same title, same responsibilities, but they were, like, loving their jobs. And so they asked what they did every day. And one of them worked in hospice care, and she would, like, shuffle around the artwork each week from room to room so that her patients would have something different to look at.

And then another person, like, carried around a notepad on his belt and would tally, like, which rooms got visitors that day, circle the ones that didn't, and make it a point to spend more time in the rooms that didn't get any even. visitors that day. And then another example, they said, like, someone took it upon himself to educate himself about the different chemicals used in the cleaning supplies so he could make sure to not use any cleaning product that would irritate his patients. And when they asked these people who were really satisfied in their job, what their job titles were, one person described himself as an ambassador for the hospital, and another person described herself as a healer. And so I think what's

so interesting about the studies, like all of these people, the happy, the unhappy, the fulfilled and the unfulfilled, had the same job. But it was the mindset that they had of like, this isn't a job. The people who were truly fulfilled chose not to look at their job as a job, but more as a service to humanity. Like how am I, how can I use what I've been given to help others? And so I think that that's another, like, it's just important part of this whole equation of going for it and solving problems, that there's ways to do it potentially exactly where you are without any changes being made on the external, only like being made on the internal. And so I think before we say like, let's quit everything and start nonprofit and do this.

It's like, well, what am I doing today that I could potentially make more meaningful and figure out how to provide that service and serve those people even better? Oh, thank you so much. I had never heard of that study before. just maybe start tearing up. It was so beautiful, especially because of the stigma that people would put around a custodian or, you know, that's, oh, gosh, that sounds, you know, so hard or so basic, but to hear how they can flip it and make it so incredibly and make such a difference in people's lives. Now, I know what everyone who is listening right now is thinking, just, they're thinking,

okay, great for that study and great for those people that figured it out. And this is such a great segue to create your bright ideas is that people are saying, but in my job, in my situation, that doesn't exist. So can you talk to us a little bit about how this book is going to help them figure that up? No, and I totally get it. And everything's different. And I think that the through line in all of this is like, okay, I'm going to reference, I'm going to reference another study. I've been nerding out on studies recently. But there was a study at UC Berkeley where this professor told his class to write I am statements like I am blank and as many as they could and with no instruction of what powerful so powerful and so he split the class in half and he had

half the class write these I am statements in the hallway just like looking at a blank wall and then the other half write them in the life sciences building which had a huge Tyrannosaurus like T-Rex skeleton the people the students who are wrote their IAM statements like in the life sciences building wrote much like larger, grander, more meaningful IAM statements than the ones who were sitting in the hallway looking at the wall because sometimes we're in the presence of something that reminds us like what we do, who we are, how far we've come. It can help us remember like who we really are and what impact we want to have and what we want to do. And so I think about that sometimes too is like sometimes we

like lose a dinosaur and we like forget to like remind ourselves that we're a part of something so much bigger. And so with Create Your Bright Ideas, you know, this is my book that I wrote for like kids and teens about how to like solve problems and how to start businesses. We're finding a lot of adults are enjoying it too. But I think that, you know, really at the end of the day, even though this book might be classified under like starting a business or entrepreneurship, it's about how do I remind myself and believe that it can be me. Like there's even in chapter one, there's a contract that you sign because it's an interactive book that says, like, before I continue reading this book, I believe that like I can be the one to make a difference, that I can be the one to make a change.

Because a lot of times, like, we don't need the what as much as we need the why. Of course, I can teach you the mechanics of starting a business and what to do and step one, step three. But most of the time, it's the shift of belief that we actually need of like, yeah, I can be the one to start the business, not like, you know, one day or someday or maybe I'm not qualified, but it can be me. And so that's why I wrote Create Your Bright Ideas is because I want that belief to start younger and when maybe you feel like you're not ready or that you have to have more experience. Like start it today. Starting the year with a wardrobe refresh, Quince has you covered with Lux Essentials that feel effortless and look polished. They're perfect

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Quince.com slash confidence. But like you said, I mean, that goes for adults at any point in time and this is going to make you laugh. Every single day I have written down my I-Am statements because, guys, literally the I-Am is one of the most powerful things going back to the Bible that you can put in front of any word and be really intentional and mindful about, you know, what you're saying. and really, you know, be clear on that. I read the same ones over and over again every day. And I just have this. I have such a great feeling. When I do it, it starts my day with that strong intention.

I'm really clear on that. And it's so powerful and it works. And then to your point of the contract in Chapter 1, when my son was reaching the age, I think it was like eight or nine where they start not being like mommy's little boy. So much I remember people were telling me that was coming. I had him sign a contract,

which I still have, that says no matter how old I am, my mom can always hug me and give me a kiss goodbye. And I had him sign up, right? And so occasionally now I'll pull it out because he won't. He's 15. Right? He's like, peace, mom, I'm out of here and he runs out the door. And I come running after him sometimes.

I'm like, look at your contract. Don't forget. This is a commitment. But I'm a firm believer. Like, yet again, it's just about if we're going to write something down, we're 90% more likely to actually act on it and make it happen. and write, if we're going to share it with somebody else and let it be known, we're going to hold ourselves accountable. These are basics and business and goal setting in life that, you know, we need to be aware of.

And that's one of the greatest things about this book, no matter what age you are. Yes, it's written for someone who might be eight or nine years old, but it's a real simple read for this 48 year old right here. And it's such a strong reminder of these basic steps and their tactical steps that everybody should be taking and making each day. Yeah. And first of all, I also want to say, I think I told you I'm expecting my first that's due in February. Yeah. So I'm like, I'm going to make her sign a contract as soon as she can as soon as she can scribble her handwriting. I'm like, you're going to sign mommy's contract that I can hug you and kiss you for as long as I want. But yeah, I mean, with Create Your Bright Ideas, like the way that I wanted to write it was, you know, obviously you're hearing my story.

and what I've learned through starting headbands of hope, like the ups and the downs. But with each chapter, there's a challenge that you take into the real world for that week. There's, like, a prompted journaling activity where you either fill in the blank or fill something out or just start thinking about, like, how can I apply this to my life? And then there's a tear-out coloring page of, like, quote or a mantra from the book, because sometimes, like, we read books and it's like, oh, I really want to remember that thing or that what, you know, they said or that one-liner. And then there's no way to do it.

And so the illustrator, Nadia Fisher, she's super talented, has created these like black and white coloring pages at the end of each chapter with like the most powerful quote from it. So you can tear it out, color it, put it on your wall. And so I want it to be like not just hearing my story, but also simultaneously writing your own. Oh, it's so good. And to me, what it activates is that creative muscle that like me, like so many people listening right now, you have those days. You just don't feel creative. You don't feel inspired. And when you feel like that and you're in a grind job and there's a lot of pressure, it's easy to lose sight of it and just say, well, I'm just not a creative person. Well, that's just not me. These types of exercises really stimulate that different side, the other side of your brain to stop just focusing on the numbers and the pressure for a moment to get away from that anxious side and lean into that creative side, which is missing for everybody and everybody has it, don't you think?

Yeah, absolutely. And there was actually like an article in the New York Times recently. that was about like kids and teens, but I also think this goes for adults too and how we like are kind of blaming social media for like, you know, depression or not feeling good about themselves or having negative self-image, which I think is like totally can be valid. But what this article said is like the other side of the equation is that kids aren't feeling good about themselves or a positive self-image or identity because there's not. enough time to create or pursue their passions or just like color. There's like no dead time. It's like I'm on social media or I'm at soccer practice or I'm doing this or that. And so creativity in kids and teens was something that was really important that sometimes isn't being met. And so if you can do that in a way where you're not just being creative, but being creative towards coming up with solutions to things, then I think that that's like such a great way to start training your muscle to see like that. Because I

I know for me, like, it started when I was a kid and like I watched my dad start a business, which, you know, I was like, I don't know what that means, like, good luck. And then I remember being on a camping trip with him in my family and like wanting to, I was taking out my headphones to like jam out to my Walkman because that's how like long ago it was. I was like, 10 years old. And my headphones were getting tangled in this cord. And it was like getting tangled in a knot and I was getting so frustrated. I was like, dad, headphone cord should just roll up like a slinky.

So they never have to get tangled again. Brilliant. I'm just going to invent that, like, easy. And I remember him telling me like, you know, Jess, that's already been invented. But I really want you to keep thinking that way. Like keep looking for inspiration from frustration. And so I think because that was a muscle that I started to like use and get reps in when I was 10 years old, by the time I was at the make wish offices and saw that.

that it was a muscle that was already activated. Like, that should be better. Here's how I could fix it. And so if we can start helping like kids and teens or whoever, like adapt that kind of muscle early on of what are the things that could be better and how can I be the one to make it better, then that's just something that will carry with us for a lifetime. And like I said, it doesn't have to be like in the form of a business. It could be in your community, your school, in your work, like picking up trash on the street. It could be anything, but just kind of adapting that problem solver mindset should start as soon as, you know, as early as possible. What a blessing that your father activated that in you. What a gift. I did not have that growing up. But now, because of your

book and the very specific exercises that you allow for, yet my son won't read the book. I read the book. And then at dinner, I bring up the point to stimulate that muscle for him because I'm not just naturally thinking that way, right? I get caught up and, oh, how is basketball practice? And, oh, do we have homework? And how, you did you make up a Spanish and what's going on with your friends for this weekend? Like, just the day to day. But I was actually reading, a good friend of mine just had a baby. And so this is helpful for you. And it was all about the subconscious mind and how the older we get, you know, the further we are away from our subconscious mind and not connected to it. Babies are all subconscious. Whatever you're speaking

to them, they are, it's going right into their subconscious. And then those younger years, years, right? They're so, they're malleable, right? You can still impact them to get to think, you know, that they are empowered to be creative, that they can solve problems. You know, the way that we talk to children is so important before they get stuck in this way or, you know, so that they don't end up like that. And the tactics and tools provided here are empowering for any parent that's listening right now, regardless of if your kid's going to read the book or not when you do, you can apply it to your life and then through the questions that you ask and challenges you give your child, you can impact them. Well, what I think is interesting too that I was thinking about with create your bread ideas

is like kids, you know, with the school system, you're almost programmed to think like that the next level is like where you need to be, that you'll know like, okay, I'm going to go from first grade to second grade, second to third grade. And so you feel like you almost need to like wait until I'll wait to read till I'm in this grade or I'll wait to do math till I'm in this grade. And then when you graduate and you're out of the school system, like, you're almost still waiting for those levels. You're like, when will someone tell me that I've made it or that I've done a good job or that, you know, I'm like have advanced to the next part because that's how you've been trained to kind of go through life is like knowing when you've, how you're doing what's next and like what to

expect. And so I think that that's like, you know, another part of why I wrote, create your bright ideas for kids and adults is to feel like, you know, you don't need to keep moving the goalpost or you don't need to wait until you feel like you've achieved something to start doing the thing that you really want to do. Because I can be so guilty of that as well as like the once I, then I, you know, like phrase is kind of the thief of ambition because you're like, well, once I do this, then I'll give myself permission to do the thing that I truly want to do. But I think that we learn in the action, like in the process and not in the planning, but we wait for like the planning and the learnings to happen before we do anything about it. And so if that's the phase that we're in, the waiting until we have everything perfect, then we're just never going to begin.

I mean, Headbans of Hope was such a messy story. It like, it still is. Like, I mean, I lost 10,000. which I write about in chasing the bright side. It was a loan from my dad that I wired to a fraudulent manufacturer. But it's like I made it back, but it was not like a linear story. And that's how it should be. And so I think I really want create your bright ideas to inspire like kids, teens, and adults to just start where you are with what you have. You know, the idea of like go big go or go home is like not something I subscribe to.

I'm like, why do you start small at home with what you, have today and then see where it can bring you tomorrow. Done will always be better than perfect and ready is always going to be a lie. I mean, it's so, so true. I have so many people that say to me, there's three mistakes in your first book. And I say, I know there is. And I'm always going to be the woman on her deathbed that said, I'm so glad I'm not going down saying I had the greatest book within me, but I couldn't get it perfect.

So it's going to die with me. Instead, that imperfect book is impacting people in the world and doing good. and I'm leaving legacy behind. And I love that. Like, I love the mistakes. I love that. I mean, people with zero typos have probably written zero books. So, like, I always say, like, if at first you don't succeed, you're still ahead of everyone who never started. And so it's like, even if you start something that doesn't work, I mean, I've started things that haven't worked. And like, I now have more information than I did before. And so even if a kid or a teen like starts a company that, you know, doesn't like do anything big or make a lot of money, then maybe they have a lot

better understanding of like the things that they enjoy doing. Like, hey, I really loved doing the marketing. I hated doing like the finances. I want to find a career in marketing. So no matter what, like when you engage with the world, when you explore your ideas and when you give yourself permission to do them, you're learning more and more about yourself and the role that you want to have in this world. And that's always good information, no matter the outcome of the business. So true. Give me your favorite quote from the book. Oh, my gosh. I think like if I could write a headline for it, it would be ordinary people can do extraordinary things. And I think that with kids and teens, it's like they don't maybe don't feel like they're in this like realm of possibility yet.

But every expert was once a beginner, you know, every, like podcaster like yourself once Googled how to start a podcast. Like every architect had to start with like Legos and Lincoln logs. So ordinary people can do extraordinary things. Oh, it's so true. Where can everyone find Create Your Bright Ideas and where can they find you? So you can go to Create Your Bright Ideas.com and purchase it there or just find your local bookstore and see if they have a copy or order it through them.

And you can find me on, you know, know, any social media, but I do have a hype text that I send out every Monday. So you can text me the word hype to 704-228-945. And you'll get a little quote for me each Monday at 11 a.m. Eastern. Well, I'm going to be signing up for that because I need more brightness in my life. Just keep doing what you're doing. I'm so proud of you and the world's so grateful for all of your work. Thank you, Heather. The feeling is mutual. Thanks for having me back. You need to get the book. Get the book for people you love. Get the book for the holidays as a gift. get the book for you and for your kids.

I'm going to put the link below in the show notes. Check it out. This is one you won't regret until next week. Keep creating your confidence. I'll come on this journey with me.