Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #27: Seizing Opportunities with Kim Gravel

Episode Date: November 5, 2019

Heather is joined by TV personality/host, business owner and overall powerhouse Kim Gravel about the importance of preparing for the opportunities that may come down the line, and taking them when they do. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

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I'm so excited that you're here. This has been such a crazy and intense week coming off of the TEDx talk and then heading back and forth to New York twice in the same week. The Gary V episode is live on Gary B audio experience. So check it out if you haven't listened to it yet. So grateful to Gary Vaynerchuk for having me on his show. And I'll tell you the feedback has been off the charts. I'm so grateful for all the notes that I've received, but really digging into some different topics with Gary around fear.

And he turned it into a coaching session in the end, which I thought was so cool because sometimes you see people online and they say, oh, you know, I believe in helping people and blah, blah, blah. But he really did. And he made something incredibly clear to me. Number one, he said that he definitely wanted to make sure that I doubled down on fear. And he wants me to lean into it even more and go bigger, which I loved hearing from him. He also talked about he wants me posting so much more on LinkedIn 15 times what I'm doing.

That made me sick to my stomach because I just don't have the bandwidth. right now to accomplish everything I'm working on. And when I told him about that, he said, do the same thing you did with Froggy when you tweeted out that you wanted help and he tweeted back to you. I'll help you. He said, tweet out that you need support and you want an intern. And so I did that this morning on LinkedIn. And I have received so many unbelievable responses. It's unbelievably overwhelming. So again, what we ask for is what we're going to get. So whatever challenge you might be up against this week, jump on it, put it out there, put it out. to the universe and see what comes back to you, lean in and step into that fear. So Gary's advice

was fantastic and, you know, I'm following his direction, stepping into my fear and trying to double down on all of it. So super interesting stuff going on. I was asked on LinkedIn by a writer for Forbes if I would contribute to a couple of different articles on speaking, how to be a great presenter and how to be a great speaker. And that opportunity came up because of the the amount of content I post on LinkedIn around business, around speaking, and I've been doing that now. I've been really aggressive on LinkedIn probably for four years. So again, this didn't happen overnight, but now some pretty significant, you know, Forbes is a great opportunity and I did not go looking for that one. However, you know, I'm pulling those opportunities to me by creating content.

So no matter what niche you're in, no matter what you're doing, if you're creating content around those topics and you're being really consistent with it and unique, you will start attracting those opportunities. And again, this did not happen overnight because I can tell you last year, I was so frustrated at the amount of work I put into things. And, you know, things would only happen when I was really, you know, pushing the train up the hill. It wasn't just flowing into me. And it's really started to take a small turn and some things are showing up for me now, which is really, it's cool, but it was about not giving up even during those days when, geez, I didn't know if this was going to work. You know, I really, I second guess myself so often. So don't second guess yourself. Lean into the fear.

Stay committed to your vision, your goal, create content, keep networking, keep showing up. And those are the keys that have gotten me to where I am today, which is at that next level. And now I'm looking to leapfrog this level and get to that next one. So what was cool about the Forbes article is that this writer said to me, hey, Heather, if you want, since I talked about the importance of how you dress when you're speaking to really step into your confidence and step into your power, for me, I really believe in wearing my power colors that's red or it's blue or, you know, I have a couple different colors that are my go-to. It's like putting armor on for me. And I get a lot of strength out of that. It also reminds me and anchors me that, okay, when I put this color on, I'm going to go kill it. And whenever my mindset really starts turning positive like that, I just lock in and things end up going much better than if I didn't take those steps. So she says, Sunday night, she says to me, hey, can you get me an image? You need to have full copyright ownership and I will publish your image in Forbes. So of course that's huge. So I start,

immediately, I connect the dots in my mind and say, okay, I want a picture of me on the TEDx stage because then that will help get my TEDx speech more views, my talk more views, and that could really help, you know, the TEDx talk take off. So immediately I reach out to my friend on the TEDx team, TEDx Boca Raton, where I spoke and asked Cindy for help. I said, is there any way you can help me to get a release in 24 hours, which, you know, that's a lot of red tape to cut through. Immediately Sunday night, she says, Heather, I'm on it.

I'm going to call a photographer. I'm going to get with the remainder of the TEDx team. We just need to get everyone to sign off on this. I don't think it's a problem because it'll look great for the TEDx team because it will be their logo front and center. And, you know, coupled with the Forbes brand, which is really, it's great for all of us. But it's just, you know, can we make this happen fast enough? So putting it out there that this is going to work, it is not done yet. Otherwise, my Forbes article will be another picture of me speaking at something that I wasn't really wanting to be up there.

But, you know, again, it's still a great opportunity. I'm really hoping we can pull this off. though because it will, I hope it will just be further acceleration for the TED Talk and further opportunity to spread that message, which definitely is worth hearing. So that's pretty exciting that's going on. We'll see by the time this comes out, we'll know the article will be live. So fingers crossed, putting it out there, it's going to work. I'm going to get the release. So the past couple weeks, as I said, have been intense because there were so much drama for me personally around the TED Talk and then relief once it was over. And then it's basically like a

reboot. Okay. Now I need to go back and get my mail and start, you know, organizing my next to do list. And then I went to New York to promote the talk. And I went on the Gary V Show and I went on Nikki Glaser and I did with my sway media with my girlfriend Amon and did a bunch of different shows in New York to promote the TED Talk that isn't even live yet, which again, I had no idea how it worked. So I just keep trying to move forward and get the message out there. Now I'm looking at so many different things because I had to let some things drop. You know, I dropped some balls during this TED window where things got stressful, which was the answer for me to manage. You know, I had to focus on what I really wanted to achieve, which was giving a fantastic TED talk because that would be

something that will be timeless. It'll live in the digital world forever. So to me, that was priority. So if you We're emailing me and trying to get a hold of me. I probably wasn't responding. And while it's not ideal, when you don't have a big team of people, I don't have people to, you know, peel things off to and say, hey, you go run with this. So unfortunately, there's times when I just have to drop some balls. But what I want you to learn from that is maybe you've been reaching out to someone and you're saying, oh my gosh, I thought I was going to get this person and they're not getting

back to me. Well, maybe they're in, you know, a crazy window. in their life that you're not aware of. For the past month, if someone was reaching out to me and I wasn't responding, it was not personal. It was about my focus and attention being exclusive to my TED Talk. So you just never know what's going on. And that's really the approach that I take with anything when I'm trying to get guests on my

show and they're not responding. You know, I don't give up and I don't say, oh, they don't want to do it. I just reboot and say, okay, what's a different approach I can take this week and try to get back on their radar without annoying them, which is exactly. exactly the same approach I took with getting back in front of Gary Bannerchuk when I went, when I had him on my show in May, I asked him and pitched him to have me on as a guest. He said yes, but then it took six months for me to get back in front of him again, six months of me following up, being unique, giving different angles, trying to reach out to different people six months. And there

was plenty of crickets during that time. So don't take crickets as a no. Crickets are we're not doing something unique enough. We're not speaking to the right person. We need to change our angle, change our message, but just keep it moving. So so many exciting things going on right now. Still a little overwhelming as I'm looking at a lot of different opportunity and trying to figure out. And again, through strategizing with Gary, you know, how do I grow, get more aggressive on social, create more content, which takes more time, and possibly it's bringing on that right intern, that right person onto my team. But then I also need to continue pitching myself for speaking engagements because that's my number one revenue stream. I always need to promote my book,

promote my course, because those are other ancillary revenue streams. Now I also need to pitch myself to promote my TEDx talk because I want to get ahead of making sure that message is going to be received and heard by enough people and go viral. I also always need to be pitching guests to come on my show each week on my podcast, as well. as I'm in the process of revising my book proposal for my second book. And now with my guest that you're going to meet next, who I absolutely love. I mean, she's amazing. Kim Gravel is a total rock star. I flew to Atlanta and went to her house. And in doing so, she and I just really connected, hit it off. She's just, this is a woman who supports other women. And she was so great. She said to me,

she gave me her cell phone and she said, Heather, listen, You can never text me enough. You can never reach out to me enough. Here's my email. You will never bother me. However, I get really, really busy. And sometimes I go dark. She's got a number of different shows on QVC, as well as a number of different other commitments that she's involved with and working on some different television stuff.

She said, so if you don't hear back from me, just keep pinging me. And that's exactly what's happened over the past couple of weeks as she's really mentoring me and guiding me on this huge. opportunity, potentially huge. I mean, again, you never know, but with Kim's guidance, I'm working on a concept for a clothing line for myself. And it's a lot of work and I put a lot of time into it. But she's been beyond amazing and giving me direction, feedback, ideas. She's just a brilliant marketer. She knows what works. And she's built a hugely successful, wildly successful company and personal brand. So she's just an amazing person

to take advice and direction from. But that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't reached out to her and pitched her to be on my show and then didn't take the time to fly out there and then take an Uber a couple of hours outside of Atlanta to go to her home, which is holy cow amazing

and get the chance to meet her business partner, her husband, and she welcomed me into her home. So it was a really amazing experience. I'm so grateful for it. And to get the chance to know women that actually support other women instead of trying to tear them down has been, it makes me emotional. I can't tell you after for so long, I was working for 14 years in an environment where one woman in particular tried anything she could to take me down. And her minions were the same way. And it was such a crappy feeling.

So if you're in a situation where you're around people who aren't supporting you, aren't encouraging you, aren't mentoring you, and challenging you to grow, you are in the wrong room and change rooms. It's your choice. I wish I had made it years ago, but you know what? I'm just grateful for where I am today because things are really starting to click and no one succeeds alone and that includes me. Things wouldn't be clicking for me without people like Kim Gravel. So I'm so excited to introduce you to this woman who literally looks like she could be my sister. She is the absolute best blonde bombshell. You're going to love her personality just like I do. I'm certain of it. And I can't wait to hear what you think. So definitely hang tight because you're going to want to know everything that you can about Kim and her assent to

where she is because she's light years ahead of me. I mean light years. Her revenue is massive. But before we go there, if you don't know your numbers, you don't know your business. The problem growing businesses have is it's what's keeping them from hitting their numbers. It's hodgepodge business systems or no business systems. They might have one system for accounting, another one for sales, but nothing's connected and it's just hurting the bottom line when you don't have that whole picture. Introducing NetSuite by Oracle, the business management software that handles every aspect of your business in an easy-to-use cloud platform, giving you the visibility and control you need to grow. With NetSuite, you save time, money, and unneeded headaches by managing

sales, finance, accounting orders, everything instantly from your phone or desktop. That's why NetSuite is the world's number one cloud business system. And right now, NetSuite's offering you valuable insights with a free guide, seven key strategies to grow your profits at NetSuite.com slash Monaghan. That's NetSuite.com slash Monaghan to download your free guide. Seven key strategies to grow your profits. NetSuite.com slash Monaghan. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so excited for you to meet this Bombshell, Kim Gravel, former Miss Georgia, one of the youngest ever. She is no stranger to TV.

In addition to her frequent appearances on QVC, where she's killing it, she was the number one guest on Steve Harvey, appearing in 42 episodes. She also had her own docu-series, Kim of Queens. In addition, Kim has guest-hosted Fab Life. Of course she did. She's been on HLN countless times. She has her own apparel collection called Bell by Kim Gravel on QVC, and she debuted Beauty by Kim Gravel and now her own TV show on QBC.

This woman is killing it. Thank you for making time for me today. I'm so excited. Let me just first by saying you are absolutely gorgeous. You are too. Stop it. I'm saying you're going, okay, I want the brows. What lip are you using?

And I have a makeup company for the love of God. For the love of God. Well, that means so much to me. You know I was just asking all about your skin. So we're on the same page sister. From one skin junkie to another. Well done. It's a lot of work.

Thank you. So I'm so excited to talk to you about a number of things, Kim. My show is all about creating confidence, which you have a plethora of. I mean, it oozes out of you. So going back to 91 when you were in the pageant business, I wonder, and I'm interested to hear from you, were those tough times with your confidence? Was that coming up period something that was challenging for you, or did it just come natural? You know what? It's so funny. Ignorance is bliss, right? So when I was that age, I was 19. So I started that journey because back then you didn't have all of these American idols and social media and all that to get your message or your word or your talents out. So for us, especially being in the South, Pagets were the way to go. And I was not always the most attractive girl in the lineup. You know what I'm saying? No. Come on.

Girl. Thank God this is a podcast because I could show you pictures of me when I was. Wait, I did see that you had dark hair back then. I like a stuff. I was dark hair, I had a flat chest, a big nose, and a huge mouth. Stop it. But what I did have was this knowing inside of me, even at a young age, that I had something to say. I think a lot of us have that when we're younger. And as we get older, and I was very, I was not sheltered, but I was sheltered. I really stuck to my dreams, stuck to my drive, stuck to my vision.

And so I didn't dabble in the things that distract you when you're younger. So, yes, at 19, I had this bulletproof, crazy confidence that really served me. But when I went to Miss America and realized, uh-oh, here's the real world, Kim, that's when I got shaken. So I think when we're younger, we have that kind of confidence. We have that kind of knowing we're here for a reason. And we get older. And we let the world opinions, now social media, competition. I mean, I could go on and on.

It filters into us, and it changes how we see ourselves. So I had to get back. I went through a 10-year period where I was floundering and didn't know where I was going, didn't know what I was doing. I still knew deep down, but my actions didn't show that kind of confidence. That was during this pageant time for you? Well, it was after the pageant time. When you have nothing to compete in or nothing, you're going out, you're trying to get jobs,

you're getting your education, you're seeing everybody else rise and you're going, why not me, right? So what do you do to get through that time? You have to honestly look in the mirror. And women are so bad about this. We compare. We say, oh, we're too old. Because by, you know, about 30 in Hollywood, you're too old.

Or they tell you you are. You cannot look at any of that. You have to just self-reflect and realize, okay, I know I'm here for a reason. I know God made me for a reason and get busy about what that reason is. Let everything, bad relationships. My gosh, if I could just tell women, please date.

Don't sleep around. Date around. Don't commit yet. Commit to you. Commit to yourself from 20 to your whole life, but really that 20 to 35 year old woman, I want to say, girl, please put more planning in your career in your life

more than you do the wedding you won't. I mean, it's just that time is so golden. And I wish I had lost it. So I always tell girls here, don't, I work so hard so you don't have to. Let me just let you, you can work smart. Just let me tell you what doesn't work and what does work. And it's universal too. I hate to break it down to you.

But that is truth. Well, here's what's interesting that you say this. I was just on a flight coming out here to Atlanta, as you know, and I'm looking at my Instagram and I had posted something today about business negotiation. And essentially, it's something I learned a long time ago. But essentially it says this, the person who cares the least about the relationship wins in a negotiation. Reason being because if you're willing to walk away from something, you hold all the power. I was talking about business, okay? So I put that post up. I'm getting

off the flight. I look at the comments. A man had commented, man, I don't know what it follows me. Hey, Heather, this is complete crap or whatever. He's full of it. Wait, wait till here. Wait till here. You should be lucky if you could find a good man now that you're at your age. A man could, A man that could date you in the marketplace, he called it the marketplace, could get someone half your age so you should change your attitude. What was interesting to me was two things. First of all, I got to go comment to that comment. Oh, I did.

Don't you worry. Don't you worry. I did. And, of course, would love to have your comment on there. God love you, though, son. But clearly, that guy's struggling. But my point about this is that's where people get caught up. I, for a second, read that.

And I thought, oh, my God. is there truth to this? Just in a split second, right? And I'm like, oh my God. But it hit me. I was like, oh my gosh, should I go back to that relationship that I just left? You know, like for a split second, that hits you when you doubt yourself. And then I had to take a deep breath and get centered and get back to what you were saying,

which is hang on a second. No, I'm a good person. I can focus on what I'm doing. I'm a great mother. I'm great at my podcast. I'm great at my job and I'm having fun in life and good things will come to me and get back to that attitude. I'm going to take it to a whole other level here. So I'm leveling you up even with.

with that. I love that. So you said, what did you say in the post? Because I just want to hear you said, if you don't want them, basically, they want you. Right? So if you, if, in any negotiation, the person who cares the least about the partnership holds all the power. Okay. So I'm going to take it from a negative connotation being not caring, caring the least. It's not even about caring the least. Does it line up? Watch this. Listen to me who I was listen to me. Does what this opportunity, this relationship, this friendship, this eating habit, this lifestyle, whatever the thing is that you're working on, because it all applies to everything, if it does not serve the highest call on your life, let it go.

Wow. So if, if, and I'm preaching to the choir here because it has taken me so I got cold chill saying it. So it's touching somebody. So, so when, everything that comes to you, every opportunity that comes to you, every relationship, just because it comes, don't mean, just because you can do it, doesn't mean you need to do it. If it does not line up, it's not even about carrying the least. It's about, hello, sir, does this line up with what I want for my future? No, it doesn't. So, bye, bless you. God bless. Does that make sense? We have to drill down deeper than just the hustle. It's more than just a hustle. It's a call. When you wake up and realize, I'm here for a reason. I have.

something unique and special to offer whomever your platform is, whoever your audience is, whoever your partner is. And if it doesn't serve that, you can't do it. That's an unbelievable lens to put everything through. That's what I had when I was 19. I left it for 10 years. I'm back. What was that turning point moment when you knew you got back to it? When I could say no to things that, I mean, I used to say yes to every little opportunity. I I was worn out. I was physically drained. I was in a rat race.

And you know what? It's not that you're better. Because I would say, I'm better than this. It's not even that. It's not that you're better. It's just not what I'm meant to do. I can't tell you how many things I've turned down.

I'm like, you know what? I'm just not, I'm just not meant to do that. That's not, that's, and we take opportunities to get more opportunities to get to our activities. I say this really firmly.

You cannot create opportunities. You cannot create them. So all the hustlers out there listening and you're out there and you're scratching and clawing, there's a lot to be said for that. But if you think you're creating opportunities, you're not. So what I say to people is prepare for the opportunity when it comes to you. Opportunities are to be taken, not created. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than a rough patch, you don't need just another meditation app. Tachiatry makes it easy to see a psychiatrist online using your insurance in days. Tachiatry is 100% online

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And that's when you get out of your own, get out of the lane. That's when people don't stay in their own lane. There's a lot of people doing talk shows and makeup lines and stuff have no business doing it. They're chasing the coin or they're chasing what they saw somebody else chase. There's a lot of people out of the lanes. That's why money and career doesn't satisfy your soul. You have to serve the soul, the spirit, and the heart and then follow what's in that. But let me come at you from a different angle.

Sure. Being a single mother, you know, where income is. critical, right? Because you're the only one paying the bills. And I go back to the day I got fired, that panic moment that I know a lot of people feel, which is, okay, that's okay for Kim to say Kim's married, Kim's doing well, right? You've built up a great career. What if you're, you know, Susie that just got fired and has her bills to pay? It's so hard to say, I need to follow my passion and do what's right in that moment. It's scary. You work and pay the bills and then follow the passion five to ten. Or five. to 12 because I did that. That's what people don't know. People say, oh, Kim's so, God's blister. She's so gifted. They didn't see the dites where I took no vacation for seven years.

And all I did is I took a day here and a day here to go speak and a day here to do this. And I mean, I dayed, I never had vacation. I worked seven days a week. People don't see when I worked from 9 o'clock to 7 o'clock at night at multifamily housing and managing apartment community. And then from 7 to the next morning at 6 o'clock, I drove to Nashville. to record my first little Christian CD with the money I had saved for my $36,000 year paycheck to put into the thing to sell it and then go on the weekends and sell that truck of my car,

MC Hammer. I'm not saying you don't have to work. I'm saying don't work to chase an opportunity. I've seen people quit their jobs to chase their opportunity. I have seen people leave relationships to chase an opportunity. you can't chase an opportunity. You can't create an opportunity. You have to let it come to you and then you take it.

What you do in the meantime is prepare for it. Because so many people get these opportunities and they're not prepared. I can't go down a bucket list of people at QVC. They're not going to make it. They're not going to make it. You know right away. Oh, instantaneously. Because you know what?

If you have not prepared for your opportunity when it comes, you won't have the stamina. you won't have the confidence, you won't have the balls, you won't have the creativity, you won't have the infrastructure. See, with a hundred million dollar a year business, let me tell you what it takes to have that. That's what people, people want all this money and all this power, but they don't know the sacrifice that you have to make to get there. And the sacrifice is not going, put me on TV, put me on TV.

The sacrifice says, oh, God, I've got to sit here for two hours and do this freaking Excel spreadsheet and get these margins down so we can sell up to QVC and get the right price and get on. Okay. So it's just people, I love all the go-girl stuff that I'm hearing and I love to see women rise. And I love this passive income thing you're talking about. That's a whole other podcast. But what I want people to understand is you will not be able to sustain the success if it is not your heart's passion and desire and call. you will be broke, tired, you won't be able to handle it. Your relationships will fall apart.

Your health will fall apart. Your mental and mental strength is, we should write a whole book about that. Mental strength is so missing today. Number one thing missing is people's right up here. Oh, my good friend Amy Morin wrote the book, 13 things mentally strong people don't do. And it's all about this. Yes, it's amazing. Because you have to have the fortitude and the belief in your story.

stuff to go, to turn down the opportunity, like you said, full circle to say, you know what? Pretty much not going to do that. And it's not easy to do that. It just happened to us in a big way. I will not give it to you because it's so fresh. But literally, just one of the biggest opportunities in my life. And it was just being ripped out from under me. And I pretty much said, you know, then if you rip it, then I'm done.

To walk away from this opportunity that I'm talking about is huge. huge. You know, and they came back and it worked out. Oh, my gosh. But you had to be willing to walk. I was, I was walking. And everybody around me was like, what are you doing? What are you doing?

I'm like, I'm sorry. I just, it goes against everything I know in my soul that is what I'm supposed to do. You can't compromise. You can, you can negotiate. You can partner. I always tell people all the time now when I talk to people, they'll say, Kim, I want to work with you. I'm like, no, you want me to work for you.

I'll work with you, but I ain't working for you. See, that's the whole thing. People want you to work for them. And that's fine. Everybody needs a paycheck. That's awesome. But where I'm at now and what I've gone through, I work with you, but you ain't going on me.

Oh, that's a beautiful thing. That's a beautiful space to be in. But you can be in it a lot quicker and a lot easier than you think. So what's the key there? keep working on you. Keep. And I know that sounds so cliche and so this and so, you know, I'll quote a scripture on you in a heartbeat. I mean, it's so, but you honestly have to really get real with yourself.

Because so many people are like, I want to go, I want to quit this job, my day job and I want to do this. But a lot of people like, there are teachers out there. There's nurses. There are people who are doing startup companies and stuff. And it's what you're meant to do. It will work. Does that make sense? Yes.

I'm living it right now. I am living it the past two years. And my business part, she's sitting right of here. We spent countless hours talking about this particular thing because everybody, I go and speak and I say, how many of you believe everybody has a purpose? And every hand goes, oh, honey, yes. Every hand, even then too. And then I say, well, how many of you know what yours is?

And it's maybe 1%. Wow. And so that's the big get. So how do we get people to figure out what their purpose is? Like, I've drilled mine down to one word, one word. maybe two, but one word at the most, I'm a builder. That's what I do. And I'm an edifier.

I love to see people rise. But more importantly, I'm a builder. I build people. I build businesses. I build relationships. I build connections. I build people's confidence. I mean, I'm a builder.

So if it doesn't go in like that, if it's not building something, but see, a lot of times you, you know what your passion is. It's just so obvious. It's everything you never thought you always wanted. It's right in your face. Okay. Okay. Let me tell you why. I agree with you 100%.

For 20 years I was in corporate America, part of my job, I was in charge of my sales team developing revenue, et cetera. Well, a bipartisan piece of that was I had to speak. I had to speak to sales organizations, clients, conferences, et cetera. I never got paid for that, right? And so I just did it. And it was something I never thought about. You probably didn't have to work too hard at it either. It became very natural to me.

So what was interesting is when I got fired, I sat there saying, what am I going to do? How am I going to make money? What am I going to do? okay, I'll write a book. I don't even know how I came. Oh, no, I know Elvis Durantio. That's how I came up with the idea. He said to me, you're writing a book.

I said, of course I am. I'm writing a book. I wasn't writing a book. However, then I researched how do you sell a book? Speak. I said, oh, I know how to do that. Okay, well, go speak. And then within two months, I got picked up by a speaking bureau.

And then, et cetera, et cetera. So it's taken off from there. Well, what I didn't know was right in front of my face, something I was really good at, came natural to me. Probably all your life. I enjoyed doing it. Do you remember when you were young? Yes.

I remember my grandfather's funeral. I was the only person that went stood up to go speak for his funeral because everyone else felt nervous. And I said, I can do it. I'm meant to do it. And how old were you? Gosh, I was, I don't know, 15. So everybody go back to your 15 year old self. And think of what was it you really like?

Even though it's, you might not know you can make money from it. I didn't know people got paid to speak. You should. I didn't know that. But I didn't know that. Right. And then it took years. It took me getting fired.

It took me researching and fostering. into this to see this is a billion dollar business. Okay, so bam, let's pause here. Let's just pause here for everybody listening. This is what I'm trying to get people to do sooner, quicker. This is what I want the millennials to get, the generation coming after this. If you will catch onto this, because, see, we come from a generation of parents. You better work hard and save your money, get your government's social security.

Right. That's where we come from. We come from this mentality of that baby boomer built. that's where we're birthed. Okay? So for us, we's like, we got to get a job and then chase the dream. So I want to say the young people chase the dream and get a job. Absolutely.

Do you see what I'm saying? Absolutely. So everybody's like, I got to get a job to pay my bills and then I'll chase my dream. No, you chase that dream and then get a job. How do you do that with your kids? Well, Travis and I have a partner in Travis and we work together. but I remember sitting at home because we made a conscious decision to stay at home. I stayed at home with my kids.

It was the worst thing ever. I'm sorry to all the brilliant, beautiful moms out there. I would call him daily. I'd call Amy going, I'm dying. I just, I'm not a stay-at-home mom, and it about killed me. I'm glad I did it, and I did it for my children. I hope they're not scarred for life. Probably would have been best to put him in daycare.

But I just remember working every day knowing this is a season. this is a season. You have to understand this fear that we have that the time is running out. That is a lie. It's not running out. Your time is not running out. The time will be when the time will be. So take a beat and really prepare for the dream. Write the dream down. Write the goal down. You've got to work. You've got to pay your bills. But we focus too much on that than we do cultivating our gift. So what if you would have started at 15 cultivating that speaking gift? You probably would have never had to go to corporate America. No.

So if anybody's out there right now listening saying, well, I'm a single mom. I've got two kids. I've got to pay my bills. Cool. Do that. But shift your mindset and get a new dream. And you can work on that a little bit. But it's so funny because in God's economy, I can't tell you how many opportunities.

This is something just happened to us yesterday. When you release something. it's almost instantaneously something comes. When you truly let it go, not something about to have six years before they can let it go. But when you truly go, you know what? I'm making the decision. It just opens the floodgates.

So I would say to you work on that practice. Don't work on getting my blog out there. Do that. Working on getting your blog out there. I say this all the time to entrepreneurs like, my product. Oh, girl, I got a set of girls right now going, I got the best product.

I got the best product. I'm like, baby, you're talking too much about your product. Your product ain't nothing, nothing. else out there got. There's nothing new under the sun and product. Tell me about the people you're going to sell it to. The people you're cultivating to help you run it. The people you're going to have to put it out for people to buy. Do you see what I'm saying? Yes. We're bas-acquarts. We're focusing on the wrong things. Right. It's so true. Have you ever noticed how making a small change can make a big difference? Well, that's true for our bra.

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I know that you said you had that 10-year window of struggle and figuring things out. How did you land on TV? Because to the outside world, to me and people that research you and know you from QVC and from your appearances, your show, you know, how did it come to be, boom, that blow-up moment? Was there a moment? There was a moment. There was kind of a moment because, again, it goes back to making great conscious decisions. I remember when I was had the children and I had a singing group, we traveled, we made five albums.

We traveled all over the country singing to women's groups, you know, churches, community centers everywhere. And I knew it's time to level up. So I just knew, I just knew I want more. This is not enough. And this is a natural progression. And I'm kind of like, like I said, ignorance is bliss. And so I said, you know what? I had done a 10-year talk show.

Listen to this. I'm telling God works. I should listen to a long time ago. So I leave Miss Georgia. WSB here in Atlanta calls me and says, we want to give you a job. I'm like, I don't want to do TV. I'm not going to do the news. I mean, all that.

I'm like, I want to sing. So here I go on a different path. Someone approached me just a little community talk show. I says, Kim, I want you to come do this community talk show. I did it for 10 years and never made one time. Oh, my gosh. 10. I would take my vacation and go and tape those shows.

10 years. It was live TV, taped, edited TV, remote TV. I did it all. Because you just loved it. Loved it. I made not one penny for 10 years. Didn't know that. So then I said, you know what?

I'm going to go and get a reality talk show. I need to get my name out there. I didn't even know what? I didn't do a book. I didn't do anything. And so I went and pursued reality TV show. And you got it. But because of that experience that you had.

That's right. And people don't see that. And that's what. Now, most people are smarter than me because if it takes you 10 stupid years to get where you need to go, that's me. Okay. Most people are a lot quicker than me. Yeah, but, you know, now that I'm putting these pieces together, that's also what set you up for success on QVC.

Girl. I mean, that's it. Right. I mean, all of that. It's all in the preparation. So when the opportunity comes to you, you're prepared. So when I went on Steve Harvey for the first time, I'll never forget it. I walked in there.

I was promoting our reality show. It was a big coup to get on there because I couldn't get anybody on anything at that time. And I sat down. and I had the segment with Steve and I'll never forget he said he was, you coming back. He said, I want her back like next week. He wasn't lying either.

And I went back and back and we were turning them down. We were like, we can't go out there every week. Can y'all get somebody else? Were you nervous that first time you went on the show? Yes. Yeah. Steve's a powerhouse. Yes.

But see, again, I know my audience. My audience is just regular people, just like Steve's audience. It's just trying to, laugh a little, enjoy life, have a little bit of success or a lot of success, whatever. Because success is relevant. You know, to you, it might be different than what it is to me. Sure.

And so, you know, I'm just a regular person. But I believe. I believe in myself. And I believe in people. And I know by faith that each person is created so fearfully and wonderfully and uniquely made. And I get emotional talking about it. And if they would catch on to that. See, I know that about myself.

So it doesn't matter if I'm a size 12 and 48. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you're 16 and, you know, you're, you come from, you know, wherever, Peru and you're in this country. It doesn't matter. See, when you know you're unstoppable. To me, that's the biggest job of all is for you to clearly and not be okay with yourself and I've accept myself. No, to love who he has made you to be. When you can do that, you're unstoppable.

That's your confidence. That is your confidence. I couldn't agree more. And that really calls for you to step into who you really are, not who you're trying to show up for, for your boss, your husband, your friends, you know, whatever. But really stepping up. That's everybody. Everybody's doing that.

Everybody's doing what you just said. You say that again. So everybody knows that they can say, no, that you say. know that you said that because that's what they're doing. But I know that because I did that for a long time. I remember in corporate America, you know, don't wear your hair this way. Don't wear a short skirt. Don't wear this. I heard all the don't, don't, Heather, don't speak up. People are seeing, you know, that you're too tough. Well, show up as you. And if you're being told not to be you, you're in the wrong room with the wrong people. And that was an epiphany moment for me.

Now, and there's some people, like, there's something that I just keep it real. I'm just going to be me. I was about an upset and I'm going to know who you are. are. So there's the flip side to that, too. Sure. You're right. Being who you are is not an attitude. It's not a catchphrase.

It's not a meme on Instagram. I just don't say what I mean to say. It's not any of that. What I'm saying is to, is to just that stillness of just like, yeah, no, I'm not going to do that. Right, because you just know it doesn't align with you. That is true power.

That is what all the greats have. That's what my Angela had. That's what Oprah has. That's what, um, that's what, what Steve Jobs got. I love Steve. I love to watch about Steve Jobs because it was a roller coaster. Everybody thinks it's just this amount.

It was a roller coaster when he was not serving his true self, he got fired. Yes. And then when he took a beat and he went back and he got to his same. And he brought it back again. Right. It went even bigger. So true. So that's my, that's my, that's, I mean, I know I sound like a preacher because that's what I went

in school for. It was theology. I mean, but it's the truth. It's not about your education. It's not about your age, your height, your weight, your color, your gender. None of that. It's all about people like people and are drawn to people who know who they are. I couldn't agree with.

Or who are authentically who they are. So I need your help with something. Okay, I got you. Okay. So you're an expert in the pageant world. I have zero experience and I just got tapped to go be a judge for Miss Alabama. Oh, girl, you got a good one. Ms. Alabama, USA or America?

The sexy one or what, because I was going to say the sexy one are smart, where they both smart? Miss America. Oh, good, good, good, good. Well, now they, have they put back the bathing suit competition in? I don't have any. I don't even know what I'm crossing. She cut the bathing suit part out. Hey, Gretchen.

She was there two years before me. So, you're going to know. You're going to say, you know what? Because you're going to walk in and whoever's the realist. Whoever is the real deal, Holyfield sitting there and didn't go, I believe that so and so and so. Well, it's interesting because you did go back to a couple times since we've been talking. You don't have to be a certain way. You don't have to have a certain eye color, certain hair color.

And in my mind, I'm thinking, well, then how do you judge something like this? So that's interesting. Just go in there and use my own instinct. But don't use what somebody else gives you a list of what they want. Do they do that? Do they tell you? Some do. Yeah, interesting.

Do what you. Look, it's like hiring for a job. It's so hard to find good people. We're looking for people right now. But we just can't hire anybody because it really affects the DNA of your company, the DNA of your spirit, the DNA of your product, everything. So the same thing goes with these pageants. You've got to get a girl in there who's passionate about what she's passionate about. And those people are hard to find, though.

Honest to God, what I'm talking about is the ultimate get in life. I can sit here and go, yep, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, she's got it. I mean, it's so rare to find somebody who's just who they are. Is that what you taught when you would coach people for the pageants? Yes, it was torture because nobody would know what I was saying. When you want more, start your business with Northwest Registered Agent and get access to thousands of free guides, tools, and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business.

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slash confidence free and start building something amazing. Get more with Northwest Registered Agent at www. Northwest Registered Agent.com slash confidence free. They still don't know. I say that and people are like, I don't understand. I'm confused. You sound dumb. I don't know. I mean, I'm like, okay. But once you get it, it's like, almost like, you know, once you taste that one piece of chocolate cake, you're going back for more. Right. It's that addicting. So once you operate that one time in who you really are, it's like a drug. And you know it. You know when you're off. Like I was, what was I off the other day? I was off last weekend when we went to our retreat. I was off. We had a Zion retreat. And I was just off because I let the energy around me affect me. And see, so, but I know I'm so, I can recognize that now.

And so then when that happens, I just shifted. I just changed. It's changed my looking at. It's all wrong. him. You're coming at it from the flash. You're coming out from your insecurity. You're coming out from your whatever. Come at it from your true self. Well, I like that you just shared that even you, someone who has mastered this, you still have these drawback moments. You never master. You're always a student. If you don't wake up curious, you're screwed. There's so much to learn and so much information about there. When you wake up thinking you've arrived, you are, you might as well just cash it in. It is, that is the death kiss of death. you will not in every aspect of your life.

You have to always be going, what? What? So these millennials, oh, you hire the millennials and milk them today. It got nothing else to give you. You have to surround yourself with people who are not like you. You don't have to go to bed with them. You don't have to get in business with them. But you've got to learn from them.

Because you're never going to learn from a yes, man. I can't stand that. I got a girl. I got a girl this. She's not a friend of me, but I say it because I say it. I just, I love to say it because she's, she's exactly who she is. And sometimes she can get a little knife in you every now and then. And I look forward to it.

Because I know when I get her, I'm getting, I know what I'm getting. There is no fakery. I mean, she'll jab me every now and then. And I sit there and go, oh, my God, you're not going to believe in so. So it's just jammy. And I know that sounds silly and you think, Kim, are you crazy? I find the humor in it. But God, I'd rather deal with somebody real than somebody fake.

Yeah, but this is why you did so well, in my opinion, on Steve Harvey. And I remember when I went on, the producer, the female producer, not the head producer, sat with me right before we went on air. And she said, Heather, we've talked to the phone a number of times. We've talked to you about being you. We've talked to you about using your voice. I need to know when you go out on the stage right now, you're going to be you. You're going to be your strongest you.

And I'm thinking, lady, you're tripping me up right. She started freaking out. Why wouldn't I be me? Yes, I'm going to be me. But the whole point was what I'm understanding or what I heard from her, they had had other guests out there that obviously were vanilla or just went along with Steve or whatever it was. And clearly that was never you.

No, I remember Steve and I went at it a little bit on camera one time because someone said something. And I was like, now that is not right. Like, oh, we were talking about sex ed in these health books. And they're teaching all these kids this stuff in the fifth grade. I mean, come on, people. I mean, their little brains can't even, they don't even understand what's going on down there. Right.

So let's how to stick it in somewhere. Oh, my gosh. And so the book was going into the book. and everybody, and there was a lot, there was another, there was a pastor on the panel. And she was like, I think it's fine. I'm like, are you crazy? Because as a mom, you know, I'm like, no, that is not, I'm sorry.

There's limits to what kids can handle at a certain age. And I remember Steve was like, all right, Ms. Limits Christian. And I was like, Christian ain't got nothing to do. I mean, him and I went at it. But see, that's why he, with respect, of course. But that's why he liked me. Because he knew Kim's going to give it to me. straight.

Kim is, so, so, but don't you want somebody when the threat hits the fan? Yes. Yes. Or when God forbid something happens, who do you call? Do you call the people that are like, oh, that's the, and the cute little Instagram people that's just faking it on? No, you're going to call Kim and go, girl, what do I do, girl? That's what you do.

So it ain't sexy. It ain't thin. It ain't all that pretty at times, but it's real. Well, that's why, you know, I really want to talk about your new show. I mean, that's kind of what you're giving. People have that opportunity to have these conversations through your new show. Yeah, and it's through product, too. I never thought I'd be sold a bunch of product. I never thought I'd be at the place where I would be having a fashion line or a beauty line.

I mean, yeah, I mean, I maybe dreamed about it every now and then, but I never really saw myself doing it. But when I did it for the first time, I was like, oh, gosh, this is fantastic. So you didn't have the vision of it coming, but it was when it actually happened that then you knew this is what I'm supposed to be doing. This is one of the things I'm supposed to be doing, because what I'm supposed to be doing is building, right? That's right. So I can build a lot of things. So again, don't let yourself get, we're such a, we're going to have Dr. Phil on because he's a counselor and he's in a turn. Those days are over guys. Specialized things like that. If you want to be in the business we're in this entrepreneurial world, you have to be, I say it's you have to be Fred Astaire or you have to be one of the old

actors. You have to sing, dance, right. It's do it all. They did do it all. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. It's come full circle. So for me, I say build your call and then have different ways of making income, different ways of service, different ways of operating in it. But that's exactly what we were talking about when I got here was you were asking about, oh, about the different types of course building and different paths. Yes. I think you would kill on that.

It's so interesting to learn that no matter how successful you are monetarily, there are always new pathways that we can create or check out and investigate to see. is that a great pathway to create new revenue for ourselves? You know, we always compare ourselves to the Oprahs of the world or the Steve Jobs of the world, and those are like one and like a billion, okay? Those are specific reasons. Those people were put here to do specific things to be a catalyst for change. Hands down, I tell my son this all the time, he's, I want to be an NBA player. Odds are, you're not going to be Stefan Curry.

And see, I know my oldest son, he's more of a referee. He could really be a fantastic referee. he is that checks him about I mean that's who he is but he thinks he's going to be Stefan Curry well okay let's get real people there's only one Oprah so quit trying to be Oprah exactly you want to be you so what I say is be you and be you in all different platforms we've got to get multitask and multi-minded when it comes to business and what comes to putting your messaging out there there is no one way to get there no but also I also believe Oprah was fired, right? Oprah's path wasn't some seamless, you know, walk right down to owning her own, you know, massive media brand.

It was fights and pivots and not giving up and going back. So if you are driven towards something, don't just take a path of lesser resistance because that's is there. You're not going to be able to get, I mean, you'll quit. If you, if you, if you can't face a challenge and hop over it and face a challenge and fight it back or face a challenge and pivot, you, we're not talking to those people because they're not listening to this podcast. That's absolutely right. Or hopefully, if they are, they understand everyone is going to face adversity. Right. It is not just you. It's up to you to move through it. But my point with the whole Oprah thing was you can't be so tunnel visioned about I want, I want to be a singer.

Which you did want to be. Right. I don't even sing anymore. See, do you see what I'm saying? Yeah. Don't let it be about the thing. Let it be about the purpose. So what's the next big thing for you?

I don't know. I'm open. I'm very open. You know, because I'm to a point when you reach a certain amount of success or I'm not a fame chaser. I don't need to have a lot of followers and I don't need, I have to lay my head down at night and I know I have put something out. I mean, long story short, I am called to preach, so to speak. It might not be in the pulpit and it might not be the Bible all the time, but it is to see people become more and become what they were created to be. And I'm good at it. See?

You're great at it. I'm good at it one-on-one with somebody I meet down there at the Wawa or the QT. I'm good at it on QVC. I'm good at it on Steve Harvey. I was so honored that Steve, when he went to L.A., I just could not go to L.A. as much as I used to. It's just too far of a trip. And we got a call from a producer.

And I didn't know the L.A. team, see, because I've never been there. And he was about a year in. And I thought, well, I guess they're never going to use me again, you know, because the new Chicago team was gone. And we got this producer called, and he said, you know, they were having issues with ratings and things like that. And, you know, just stuff you have with TV shows that's irrelevant. And he said, damn, call Kim Gravel.

Get Kim Gravelle here. And he said he's never heard him ask for any other guest. But Steve knew that I could get in there and build. I could build him up. I could build the audience up. I could build the people I'm sitting on the couch with because that's what I do. He didn't even know how to put words to it, but he knew if I could just get Kim out here to help. I don't even know what she's going to do to see her and give her opinion.

It wasn't about that. It was what I did behind the scenes. It was what I did for him. It was how I set him up to knock it out of the park. It's how I, you know, encouraged the staff and, you know. You know, it's so interesting you just remind me of, we never know what's going on on that other side. Because here you were wondering, I'm not even getting it. getting a call anymore. I guess they're not interested in working with me when, in fact,

they wanted to have you there, but it just, you had not been wanting to travel out to LA and it took them actually having some challenges to say, we need her out there. I don't know. I don't know if they wanted to. I don't because I didn't know those people, but Steve knew. So they were just unaware of you. Yeah, Steve knew. And that's, but my point is, it's not about Steve knows. It's about like when you are, I thought that was over. Right. So when you are who you are and you do what you do, it'll come back around. And there's also nothing wrong with reaching out to people when you haven't heard from them. No, there's not. There's not. There's not. And I didn't have want to go to L.A. all the time. But I will say, reach out, be persistent. But let it be the thing

you really want. Fight for what you really want. Don't fight for the scraps. Yes. That is something because being good is fine. But being good. great, it's going to cost you. So it might cost you some opportunities. So don't settle for good. I've done that so many times. Oh, my God. How many times, I mean, if I've done this, I've been like, oh, God, if we could just get so-and-so, wouldn't that be amazing? And when it came to us, it was so much bigger. And I said, oh, girl, we weren't, we weren't, we weren't, we weren't reaching high enough. We were not going. We need to go bigger. Always go bigger. Great, but it costs you. Being great is going to cost you. But, yeah, hustle. I'm not saying, I don't want people to say, sit around

and wait for it to come to you because it doesn't. But, but, make sure what you won't come to you, you want it. Because I wasted a lot of years chasing things. I really shouldn't have chased. It's such good advice. I did the same thing, but I wasn't acknowledging it. I got in the routine of life. Me too.

And that when I look back now is, wow, don't let that happen to you. Don't just show up every day just going through it? We got into the routine of life because that's what life. It tells you what you need to do. It's almost like there's no handbook, but it's like you do this and you do this. There is no handbook. you do this. I'm saying throw out all of that crap and go inside yourself and see what you have to say. That's where true co-create your life with him. Don't don't, don't let people create your life.

Yes. You, you, if you'll be still and be silent and read and read your book and listen to the podcast and things will come to you creative, an inspiration like you have people just want to sit there and let it happen. You have to, you have to let your mind go. Yes. And things. think outside the box. And be open to it. Be open. But don't be so busy that you can't. Take that time for yourself.

I can't even, I don't know what to say. To a 16 year old, just chill, girl. You got time. So everyone's going to want to find you. Where can we find you? Where can we watch you? And when does that happen? Kimgravel.com or any of our social media, Kim Gravel.

That's about in it, Amy. You want to give you your phone number. And when are you on QBC? Every day. I mean, literally, that's how I know you. Once a week, it's been a blessing. We're actually creating home right now. We've done beauty and apparel.

And it's been a massive success. But again, there's been 20 years of preparation. I've seen famous people come and go out of there. I've seen Oscar winners can't. You have to prepare. They're gone. They're just gone. fans are gone. They didn't hang on to it. It didn't stick. Stickiness is everything too.

That's a whole nother pie. You should write a book about that. You should write a book about it. You need to write a book. People taste it once, but they ain't come back to the buffet if it ain't good. So you've got to be sticky. So and what it takes, it just takes a lot of preparation. And that's not sexy, I know. And people just want to put on some fake lashes and a cute bra and a great selfie and think I'm going to be. People laugh at me all the time. the Kardashians are the hardest working crew in the world. You never see it. I mean, it takes a lot of sacrifice.

It takes sacrifice and work. A lot of hustle. A lot of work. And a dream and a call. If you just operate in that, you'll be good. You figured that out. You nailed it. Thank you, Kim.

And I can't wait. Please check Kim out online. I follow you on Instagram at Kim Gravel. And I always catch up with you on QVC. Love you, girl. Oh, I love you. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed meeting Kim as much as I enjoyed getting to know her and having that time with her because she is everything that you hear is so real and she's so legit and cares so much.

I can't share that enough with you how kind this woman has been to me. And again, she's light years ahead of me and the fact how much time she gives me and ideas and support and challenging me. It's just, it's so great to just keep going bigger. I got my entire deck done and presentation done for her. And we had a schedule to follow up call. We jump on the call and she says, Heather, the first thing I want to say is, she was so nice. She said, number one, it looks great and you did a really good job. I'm really proud of you.

However, what do you think about this idea? Maybe we need to go bigger. And as soon as she said that, I just started laughing because she's right. You know, we can always go bigger and that's exactly what we're going to do. I'm shifting gears. I'm, you know, putting some focus on this this week and I'm really going to crank out a bigger idea, a bigger presentation, a bigger deck and a bigger concept to go big. So hold tight for that. I'm working on it. I'm really excited. A lot of work ahead of me this week, but it's going to be huge. I want to share a personal story. And I don't know, if you guys haven't listened to my first episode,

which is my episode with Gary V. It's called Go Big or Go Home. Check it out. It's my number one show on the podcast more downloads than any of the other shows, any of the other episodes. But I share, you know, what happened to me and how I got fired. And what I wanted to talk about was during that time, two years ago, this was, the universe was screaming at me to do something. I had thrown my back out. I was losing my hair. Anyways, I ended up getting fired, right? So my body was telling me something was wrong. And I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't have a solution. I didn't take action and quit my job. But what's interesting is, I ended up, throughout my back, I had to go to rehab for a couple of months because, I mean,

if you've never hurt your back before, it is the worst pain ever. And I mean, I had a C-section and that was nothing compared to this. I mean, it did not go away fast. It took months. And it was scary. Gosh, it was scary thinking that I could never run again or be able to work out. And it was a really hard time for me on top of exercise has always been my release. And so not being able to work out for months, it just, it was a really, really,

hard time. The reason I wanted to share that with you today is I was just introduced to Theragun, which is the most unbelievable new way to relax your muscles and to do it by yourself at home. And I got the actual gun. It's a handheld gun that's very lightweight. And I got it a couple of weeks ago. And as you know, I have a 12 year old son. My son played football. Now he's in basketball season. He's always crushing it with sports. But like me, he has. super tight legs, hamstrings, quads, you know, and his back is already bothering him. And so it was so cool that now what we do at night when he gets home from practice and I'm home is I take the gun on him and work his legs.

It doesn't take long at all. It's extremely relaxing. It just, it calms you down, just the vibrating effect. And it releases so much tension in your muscles. It's unbelievable. My son now begs to use a therogun when he gets home, which makes me so nice. nervous because of course I don't want him to break anything or drop anything but he's been great with it he can even do it to himself which is so cool I'm actually going to buy him his own and so that he can't

he won't take mine anymore because I want to travel with mine it you know when I travel my back pulls or you know I still act up occasionally I have to sit on a six hour flight I get tight and it's unbelievable the release that this provides it's just Theragon is it's so easy to use it's handheld it relieves tension it increases blood flow, which is so needed. It's therapy like you can't even imagine. It's like a massive massage device. You know, it's like having another person there working your muscles for you, but you're doing it yourself with something in your hand.

Can you imagine how much money I would have saved on actual massages versus if I had owned this for the past couple of years? And I could have helped myself, right? It's empowering because you don't have to wait for someone else to see you a rehab specialist or a massage person. You can actually take action. and fix something yourself. And it's not painful at all.

It's so simple. And it truly provides relief. So I'm so excited for any of my peeps that struggle from, you know, tight hips or bad backs. You've got a solution now in your hand that you can have in your home in the next day or two. And it's going to provide you such relief. It's going to increase your blood flow. It's going to allow you to relax at night. It's such a cool thing to do before going to bed.

My son has slept like a rock since we've been using this. He's super excited about it. every day asked me, where's the Thera gun? Did you charge the battery mom? He wears that battery down daily. And it's so easy to use. There's a charging stand. I mean, it's very, very simple. And the actual gun is so, it's just so light and easy to use. So empower yourself, invest in yourself, get your body free from pain and never struggle like what I did before. I will never again because I'm taking care of my body now on my own and investing in me and Theragons helping me. do it. So if you want two free attachments right now, you can get it with purchase,

www.theregun.com slash competence, and you get two free attachments now. Definitely check it out. It's Therogun. T-H-E-R-A-G-U-N. You will not be sorry. I promise you that. So today, two different questions that I've received lately, which is so interesting. I spoke at an event last week and someone DM me after and said, hey, if you're going to create a course on confidence in dating, please keep me updated. And I thought that was an interesting question. What this woman was saying is that she really struggles with her confidence specific to dating. We all know this. Everyone has different highs and lows with confidence in different settings. Maybe at work you're confident, but in your personal life, you're not. Maybe you're super confident

when you go working out at the gym, but if you go to a charity event cocktail party, you're not confident. You know, there can be different ramifications and implications from different settings. So that's totally normal. But I never thought about addressing confidence with dating. So here's the thing. And I love this line is that, you know, you are a catch. So start acting like it. The minute that you see your value as a person, as an individual, as someone to be in a relationship, someone who should be coveted, when you see yourself in that regard, others will see you in that regard. But if you don't see yourself in that regard, others will not see you, right? So if you're down and thinking, oh, I'm not good at dating, you're probably not going to be

great at it. But, you know, what's the difference? And if you don't feel confident around dating, I would say probably right now is the time to take off from going on dates and instead start doing things you love. Do you love working out? Do you like hanging out with your friends? Do you like meditating, being creative and painting. Figure out the things that you really like to do that you feel confident in and let that confidence grow and stem from there journal so that you can watch your progress and you've got to start taking chances. So, you know, maybe it's at work that you've been holding back going for a promotion. Go for it. You have nothing to lose. And when you start taking chances in other areas of your life that you see, you know, I have some confidence over here.

You know what? Let me go for it and push myself to go bigger. Then you're going. you can start applying all those things that you're learning back to your dating life and to in your personal relationships. Just because things haven't gone well in the past doesn't mean they can't be different now. I've seen that happen countless times for so many of my friends. It's, you know, you're not just destined for one. Oh, I'm bad at dating and, you know, I don't have a lot of confidence over here. Well, you can change that.

You can change it in any area of your life. I have on my website, Heathermonahan.com. I have a free ebook. You can download 30 days to your most. confident self, and that can totally be applied to dating. It doesn't have to be for work or, you know, in any other area. You can absolutely apply that to dating. So I want to hear back from you. If you're the kind of person that's been struggling with dating or in personal relationships, definitely send me a DM or you can always leave me a question at my website at heathermonahan.com.

I've got a drift bot on there that will, has real-time feedback for you so that you can speak to me directly there. And I'd love to hear back from you on that. I had another woman reach out to me that I've been working with in the past year, and she's got a very high profile job. And she loves her work. She's definitely in a great company, working for good people that love her. She seems supported. She's in a good relationship. But it was funny.

I had a question on my Insta story that said, what are you asking for this week? And she wrote, I'm asking for confidence. And I just thought that was so interesting. Here's someone, to me, looks like they've got it all together. They're in the right job with the right people. a great relationship. You know, it looks like things are going so well, but this week she's really asking for confidence for herself. So don't let, you know, sometimes we look at social media, we look at people and we think, wow, they've got it all together. The reality is no one has it

all nailed down all the time. We all go through highs and lows. And I can't tell you how much of a high and low I've gone through in the past month with this TEDx talk. It's so, it probably sounds a little crazy. It's a 10 minute talk and I'm acting like it's the end of the world. But, you know, I put a lot of pressure on myself and I had never done one before. And standing on that little red dot, knowing you can't leave the circle and knowing that clock is ticking and you have to hit your mark was a very different experience for me. And I'll tell you, I'm so proud of what I did, but it stinks that I still can't see it. It's like the most frustrating thing ever that you've done something that you're proud of and you can't grasp it. I'm still over here saying, where are you?

Come out for the love of God. I can't wait till it's out. And it's As soon as it's out, I will keep everybody updated. I will post about it, share it everywhere, and I'm going to ask you to do the same. But, you know, just know this. I was definitely struggling with my confidence, especially the day of my TEDx talk. Holy cow, I was leveled that day. So many different things went wrong and I started panicking. But luckily, I'll tell you, lavender for the save, when I sniffed that lavender right

before I went on stage. And then the last thing that I said to myself, when I'm super proud of me is I was panicking and they called my name, I closed my eyes, and I thought, Heather, if you don't go out here right now, you will never forgive yourself. However, if you walk out there on that red dot and you go for it and you bomb, I will be so proud of you for just taking the step and going. Stepping into fear is always the answer. And I stepped into it. I turned it over and I'll tell you what. I couldn't be more proud, even though I haven't seen it yet. So step into fear, whatever it is, just like Kim Gravel said, double down on it, go bigger, and just go for it. Because if I can do it, you can too. So I can't wait

to hear what you think of the show. If you can please leave me a rating and review, it helps so much. And I'll see you back here next week.