Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #278: THIS Is How You Set Yourself Up For Success in 2023, With Heather!

Episode Date: December 14, 2022

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Figuring out who is REALLY there for you  Releasing negativity   How to challenge yourself to go for MORE The power of affirmations  Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Order my Soul Sayings  Show Notes:  No matter how bleak your situation is, it CAN change! You have the power to shift your life. So stop questioning yourself and start taking action. Remember to write down how you’re feeling so you can always reflect and let go. You have the POWER to make yourself happy, and I’ll share what strategies work for me when it comes to managing stress and recognizing my progress! Set yourself up for the BEST year in 2023 and get rid of all the negativity in your life that’s holding you back! 

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, I love getting DMs and messages from people who have read my books. It makes me feel so happy, and it just encourages me that I'm on the right path.

It tells me, okay, you're doing. you're doing the right thing. And I always try to lower expectations on myself, because I tend to put a lot of pressure on myself. I'm sure you may be the same way. And I'll say, if my work just helps one person and makes a difference in one person's life, that's enough. To me, that's everything, right? That's amazing, incredible. And so I received this DM. I'm actually going to share two different DMs with you because I think it's important to note that no matter how bleak your situation can be, it can change. And it's up to you to be the person that changes it. Right. So, okay, I received this on Facebook, actually, a Facebook DM. Hey, Heather, your last post prompted me to

finally share something with you. Please share things with me, guys. I love hearing it. It makes me so proud of you and happy and excited. Okay, six months ago, I was in a very dark time in my life. I found myself in an emotionally abusive marriage. I started to use the strategy of leaving the room whenever we would have an argument. And when I would leave the room, I would go somewhere quiet and I would read Confidence Creator. That's my first book. This book is a game changer, by the way. I love it. I'm so proud that people love it. And it's changed so many people's lives. Super proud of that. Okay. Maybe because I could hear your voice when I was reading the book, your message called to me from the grave of my former more self. I was reminded of what I deserve and how my actions will either make that possible or make it impossible. That's so true. In February, I finally left, which in this case meant packing my bags and flying from one continent to another to go home. In June, I finalized my divorce. While there's much to be learned, there are also very few people who have walked in my shoes that I know. In short, when I cheer for you, it comes from the heart. Keep up your work. It's truly

inspiring and life-changing. And I'm so grateful for that message. And what I want to share about that is this is somebody who had lost their confidence. They had known at one point in their life what confidence looked like, and they had lost it. And that happened to so many of us. That happened to me when I was working side by side with a woman that despised me. It happened so slowly and quietly, which I think is probably similar to what this woman's writing, she didn't marry this person knowing it was going to be an abusive marriage, right? She didn't sign up for that, I would imagine. I would imagine she signed up for the fairy tale and, you know, the happy relationship

and what you're hoping for. However, slowly, usually it happens slowly over time. You start noticing things that are, wait a minute, that's weird. This is what it was like for me in corporate America. I started noticing that, you know, at first this woman was smiling when I met her, and then slowly it was, oh, you knew she was talking behind your back. You knew she was stabbing you in the back. You knew she was setting you up.

You knew she was creating obstacles for you. I'd address it. She wouldn't respond. It just got worse and worse. But it happens really quietly and slowly. Do you feel me on that? So it wasn't like one of those moments you just jump out and you're going to knock somebody out because they spit in your face, right?

I'm sure that was the same with this woman and this abusive marriage. So it can almost seem more challenging, right? When things are happening quietly, you start questioning yourself. You're like, is this me? Is this normal? wait a minute, why is this happening? And as you start questioning yourself, especially if you're keeping it to yourself, and you're the only one that's observing this, you might start diminishing yourself. And that's definitely what I found was happening to me. I thought if I just shrink back

for a little bit, maybe this lady will go away. Maybe she'll leave me alone. Maybe this craziness will end. And it sounds like that's what happened to this woman, too, is that over time, she allowed it to chip away at her confidence. So you're not alone, whether you're in a work environment, a personal Maybe it's a relationship with a relative, right? And you're having to deal with this at the holidays. You are not alone. It happens to so many people. The key is you have the power to change it. Information, application, transformation. I've been talking about this a lot lately. You've got to expose yourself to new information at frequency, which means often, not just once. Don't just, you know, listen to an uplifting podcast or audible book once, right? You need to surround yourself with that encouragement. So it can't. keeps you focused on your goal, focused on that you know you're going in the right direction. For a long time when I was in corporate America and I was in that negative environment and culture, right? And it was a toxic culture. It wasn't, it permeated beyond this woman treating me badly. I mean, it was happening all across the company. Again, I wasn't, I wasn't,

I had blinders on back then. I just wasn't seeing it. Part of the reason is because I thought I had to be there. I thought I was successful because of the company. I wasn't giving myself credit, which is a whole other issue around lacking confidence and not stepping into your power, right? So don't give your power away. If you're successful in something, it's because of you. Not because of who you work side by side with or what products you're selling. It's because of you. And I know that for a fact, because I felt that way at one point in time, and I'm so far removed from it now. And I know that is not a truth, although some people might want you to believe it. So keep surrounding yourself with the right people that encourage you, that want to lift you up, that want to challenge you to get to the

next level, that want to cheer you on, and we'll call you out, you know, when you need to be called out, and appreciate constructive criticism, even though in some moments it can be tough to take. As long as people have a good heart and have your interest at heart, all of that's going to help you, right? It's a problem when the people don't, and you know the difference. You know, look within. You can see pretty quickly, hey, wait a minute, this has happened slowly over time, but this stinks and this person does, I don't get good energy from them, and they're not treating me respectfully. I recently had a really good friend of mine, contact me who I hadn't talked to in a little while and explain a situation that was going on in his marriage. And I just,

I was shocked to hear it. The last time I had spent time with this couple, they were both really confident and positive, and they seemed like they're going through a really tough time. But doing so in a silo where they weren't sharing what was going on with other people, they started thinking it was normal. And it was so surreal to me to just see how over a finite period of time, when you put yourself in a silo and you hold on to these thoughts and you don't expose yourself to uplifting people and people helping you to grow and giving you perspective, you can start thinking in unhealthy ways. I've certainly been there. You know, I'm reading these DMs and I see other people have been there. You're not alone. Please seek out people to encourage you. And if you don't

have those people in your life, seek out the podcast, seek out the books, right? There's So many of them out there. The TED Talks, there's so much content out there. Get the information that's going to support you and uplift you. Then apply it to your life and watch transformation occur. Information, application, transformation. Set yourself up for the best year you can for 2023. That means getting rid of the negative people in your life now, overcome your villains,

right? You've got to fire those villains. Surround yourself with the right people. And you do that by creating space. When you get rid of the negative people, you create space for the positive people to show up and arrive. They will not arrive as long as you have these negative people blocking you and you're dimming your light, right? You're not going to find your team and your crew. Okay. So then, so that was one DM that I wanted to share with you that was the result of my first book

Confidence Creator, which again, as I mentioned, I mean, it's incredible to me the messages I've gotten about that book. I'm super, super proud. Okay. Then today on IG, I hope you feel proud of you, too, by the way. You know, take a look at the feedback you get from people and the good that you're doing. And if you're not feeling that way, see who you can help around the holidays, you know, see if you can drop toys off to a toy drive, see if you can go volunteer somewhere, you know, and aid in any small way you can. That is a surefire way to feel amazing about yourself. Anytime I do something to help others, it makes me feel so proud of who I am and so grateful, you know, for that opportunity. And it helps you kind of forget about the small things that

you might be obsessing over or, you know, thinking about and instead put the focus on the right things, which is doing good in the world, bringing joy to the world, seeking joy, being a light in a dark time. And as you move forward and do that, you will feel more proud of yourself. You will feel more uplifted and you'll vibrate at a higher level and start attracting higher level people to you. That, I know, is fact. Okay, so I got a DM today that said, hey, just wanted to say thank you for the reminder that it's okay to dial up my look, even if it makes others uncomfortable. I realize this morning I keep toning down my look because I can't be, quote, unquote, too much. And that's just not true. Here's to turning over a new leaf and

enhancing a style that will fuel my confidence. Fact. I love that. So here's the thing. You can never be too much for the right people. When you're around the right people, they're going to challenge you to go bigger. Go for more. Dial up your look. but get you to step into uncomfortable, to challenge you to go for more. They're not going to be the one saying, you're going to wear that to work? That's not a good idea, right? That was the voice of the woman that I used to work side by side with. You know, you're going to wear a dress in your hair and a ponytail?

Oh, my gosh. You know, and I was rocking like this adorable look, and I was super proud of it. And she was just trying to get me to second guess myself. And it worked, right? I did. Because my confidence was diminished, I would look. let those negative remarks hit me hard. And for a while, I started showing up in pantsuits only and, you know, with my hair in a bun

and trying to be someone I wasn't. And I can promise you this. The more you try to show up as someone that you are not, the more you are an imposter. The only way you will ever truly be an imposter in your life is by trying to show up as someone other than you. Show up as you. Rock that look. Rock your confidence.

whatever that looks like for you, but be the best version of you so that you attract the right, like-minded people back to you. As I was showing up as a watered-down version of myself, I was attracting the wrong people towards me, wrong personal relationships, wrong business relationships because I wasn't being the real me. I was trying to be someone else because I thought that would make someone else comfortable. That is an epic fail, and that is denying the world of your unique traits and gifts and blessings that you have. Don't hide those from the world. Shine them and shine them bright.

Because we live in a world that needs some light, that needs some goodness, and it's all within you. You've just got to be willing to step into the confidence that you've got inside and start rocking that look, rocking your vibe, rocking your words, and knowing you can never be too much for the right people. That is a straight-up fact. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than a rough patch, you don't need just another

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sweaters, to the jackets, they're all incredible luxury high-end products without the high-end price. Refresh your wardrobe with quince. Don't wait. Go to quince.com slash confidence for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash confidence to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash confidence. Those are just a couple of quick notes I wanted to share with you that I wanted you to know. I love getting your messages. I love when you leave me reviews.

I read them all. I'm super grateful. I love the feedback. And I just want to say thank you for taking the time to send me your notes. I love hearing about your stories. And I love hearing about your accomplishments, your challenges. And again, it reaffirms that we're all in this together. And we're all so much more alike than we are different.

So know that you are not alone. And I am here cheering you on. If you don't have anybody else in your life cheering you on right now, know that I am. And I'm here for it. And I'm here for your big, bold moves. And you can never be too much. So the other thing I wanted to get into today was I was reflecting on, first thing in the morning, I have an intention every day, right?

And I hope that you set your day up for success with intention. Every day I have a few different papers that I have in a drawer that I pull out and I read them. And it's to remind me, you know, what I'm grateful for. It's to remind me of what I'm going for, what I want to achieve, what I want to do with my life, who I am, who I want to show up and be every day, right? Just really reminding myself, and it's a discipline to have this intention and routine each morning. I mean, it literally takes me a couple of minutes. It does not take long at all. but it helps get my day off on the right foot,

and it helps me be really mindful about who I am and where I'm going and what my purpose is, right, and bring me back to this idea that we're here to make a difference. We're here to make the world a better place, instead of we're just here to go through the motions because we're not here to go through the motions. We're here for so much more than that. And I hope you have this intentional practice in the morning.

If you don't, oh my gosh, try it for 30 days. You will totally keep it, because you will see changes happening in your life that really set you up for success, and you're going to feel proud, and you're going to do more good, and you're going to build momentum on it. So I was reading through, I read through the same, for the most part, the same stuff every day, but occasionally I'll add some new things in, or I had someone send me a prayer that I really love, so I added that prayer in, right, I've added some things in along the way. I've been doing this for over a year now, and it's been so helpful and really set me up for a great mindset.

It's a great routine and for more success. So give it a shot. Anyhow, when things happen in my life that are like big moments, I write them down. I encourage you to write them down because what happens is as we move far away from them, we forget the impact that they had. Right. So a good example, I'll give the analogy of I shared with you that I had fallen down Thanksgiving week and I had this bump on my head.

Now, when it first happened, the bump was big, right? And over the next two weeks, it got a lot smaller. But I forget how big it was when it happened because I look in the mirror every single day. And I'm like, oh, there's still a bump there. This is so annoying. My son said to me today, he said, Mom, there's barely any bump there. Don't you remember how big it was the day it happened? And I had forgotten, right?

And that's so true of not only a bump on your head or, you know, a challenge you might be facing, but looking back in your life at big challenging moments. And then as time passes, you forget, oh my gosh, this was a huge deal that I overcame this, or this was a huge revelation. I want to remind myself of this. So it's really important in the moment when you're going through something to write something down so that you know what was really transpiring because your memory will not serve you to the degree that you think that it actually will. Memories, unfortunately, are not accurate, right? Because we get busy, time passes and we simply forget.

So write these things down. these milestones down. So one of these milestones for me over the last year, this last year has been incredible for me. Truly one of the most transformational years of my life. And that's for so many reasons. A big part of it is because of my faith and strengthening my relationship with God and finding my church and so many amazing things that have happened for me. But there's more to it than just that. That is a big, big part of it. And that was really driven by my son, who's incredible and I'm so proud of. But that was one aspect of it.

As this journey's gone on for me this year and this transformations happen for me, which I'm so grateful for, I have noticed different things. One of the things is the impact prayer has had on my life. One of these things is the impact intention has had on my life. There's all these different things that I've incorporated in a fierce way in 2022 into my life,

in a bold way, which had been in my life a little bit before, but not to the level and commitment that they are now. And I've recorded, because I write down everything, because I'm a maniac, but I've recorded examples for myself so that I don't forget, right? If something's working, I don't want to forget. And so I had written down this example, and it's one of the things that I read each morning, and I'll share it with you. I might have shared this actually on a previous episode. I'm not sure if I have. Yeah, actually, I'm pretty sure I did a while ago. I had wanted to sell my condo for years, and I just never thought I was going to be able to, because I had bought my condo in 2005 when the market was at, it was the height of the market

right before, you know, the 08 crash. So I had just decided that I guess I was going to own that condo forever, and I'd have to end up renting it out and, you know, buy something else, whatever. I just kind of gave up on it. But I, in my heart of hearts, I really wanted to sell that condo. cut to, I really started, you know, praying about it. I started asking God to show me away, to show me signs. Anyways, the most incredible things started happening. And this is all back when at the beginning of the year in 2022. First of all, I had fired a major villain from my life at the beginning of the year, which cleared space for opportunity and positive things to happen. I really recommitted to my faith. I started going to church every Sunday with my son,

really diving in so much more to faith and God and my relationship with God to prayer. And it had a huge impact. As well as, you know, I'm always reading different personal development books and I'm always researching and, you know, I want to be the best version of myself that's possible out there, right, which I'm sure you do as well. And so information is really a cornerstone to that, whether you're reading the Bible or you're reading Joe Dispense's books or you're reading my books. You know, it doesn't matter. There's what I'm finding, the older I get and the more knowledge I've accessed, and I have read

so many books over the last five years. It's incredible. I read almost a book a week because the podcast I read so many books, but that started me down a journey of wanting to, you know, garner more information and access more information. And what I'm starting to see is, you know, whether it be, there's a through thread, whether I'm reading the Bible or I'm reading a book from the 1950s, or I'm reading Ask and It's Given. There's so much in common between all of these works, which says to me, everyone operates on a different frequency, right? Some people connect with the way I say things and my examples. Some people don't at all. And this is why it's important that there are multitudes of books out there in writings. For me, when a book connects with me, I start

seeing, oh, I remember this from another book. Oh, this is a truth because I remember finding this from another successful person's book, and I start connecting the dots in ways that are so powerful and so impactful. So it really helps me to garner information from different sources and then put it together in a way that works for me in my life. And that's what I hope for for you. You might read a bunch of different books and say, well, part of this works for me, part of it doesn't. That's fine, right? Take the pieces that work for you, test and try them, apply them to your life so that you implement some change, hold yourself accountable, right, and see what happens. And so as I moved through 2022, incredible life-changing things happened

in my life that, I mean, I can't even go into all the detail because there's not enough time and it's just insane. But that one example, I'll use of wanting to sell my condo, praying about it, writing it down with intention, asking God for it, asking the universe for it, right? And then suddenly, things started showing up in the most incredible miraculous. There's no other way to say it, but it was a miracle. And there were a number of miracles this year for me, and I'm so grateful for that. So what that shows me and why I'm so glad I write this stuff down is I'm going to keep praying. I'm going to keep going to church. I'm going to keep strengthening my relationship with God. I'm going to keep reading the Bible. I'm going to keep reading these other works

and figuring out more works that I can read that I feel like are in line with the same messaging, right? Around ask and you shall receive, around energy and around, you know, removing negative people and negative situations and spending time and joy. And it's just, it's incredible to me that when we write things down and witness these miracles that happen in our life, when we write them down and revisit them daily or at least weekly, we remind ourselves, hey, stay close to this. stay close to your church. Stay close to your faith.

Put your faith over your fear. Choose joy. It's reminding me on the daily to stay on this path so that I won't veer from it, which I had done before. And I veered from it because negative people came into my life. Or I felt stuck or I got afraid and I started leaning into fear. I made choices that were taking me off the path that I'm now on. So now I know that I have the potential to come off the path.

I've got to keep myself on it. right, I've got to hold myself accountable. I've got to remind myself, and that's what I want for you. When you write these things down, when you're living through a miracle, and you might not know that you're living, you're about to be confronted with a miracle, tomorrow, today. You don't know that yet. But it's important to take notes, journal, and really track your progress and notice,

what are the things that I'm doing right now? Am I making good decisions? Am I supporting myself? You know, am I making myself a priority? You know, what is my relationship like with God? what is my relationship like with the people in my life? Are they supporting me? Am I supporting them? Am I making good choices? And as we notice and pay attention to all these things and we're intentional around what we're doing, start noticing what's showing up for you. Start noticing

what you're asking for. And if you're knocking on those doors and they're opening. Every morning I say, God, please close the doors on that, which is no longer meant for me. And please open the doors to that, which is, whether it be personal relationships, business relationships, partnerships, work, it doesn't matter. It's just something that I ask for on daily, and I pay attention to, and I notice. Right. So the example of the condo is I was tracking that I was asking for these things. I was praying about it. I was writing it down with intention. I was asking the universe, you know, to show me a way to open a door to allow this condo to be to be sold for the right buyer to come at the divine right timing. And I believe it was three at three offers and

accepted all three, and each one of them fell apart. And this was happening over, gosh, maybe a five-month period. And the market climate was changing in Miami, and I was freaking out, and I was panicking. And instead of letting go, you know, let go and let God, I was trying to hold on with desperation to why isn't this happening? Can't let's force it? Like, can't we make the sale go through? What do you mean? It fell apart. And I was moving back to my old ways, back to fear, back to control. And of course, when you move towards fear and trying to control everything, things are going to fall apart. That's not a successful plan or strategy. I know that in theory, but I was so knee-deep in it that it blew up in my face. The deals, I believe it was three deals

fell apart. And so I started getting really discouraged. Well, during this time, I decided, you know, one of the things that I've been reading a lot about is when you start fixating on the outcome that you want, not how it's going to happen, but the outcome that you want, that's a good strategy, which is something new for me. I hadn't done that previously. And so one of the things that I did that, that I thought maybe could help me was, Heather, go find a new place that you want to live. And when you do that, you know, fixate on that location, fix it on, you know, moving in there, drive, buy it, whatever. So during this time where all these deals were falling apart and I was getting very discouraged, I tried to get myself to just fixate on where I wanted to go.

go. So I would drive by this place that I fell in love with. I had gone in and seen it. I wanted to put an offer on it so bad, but I needed to wait for my condo to close. And remember, you know, I was in the middle of this three different deals falling apart over a few month period. So I didn't feel confident that it was going to happen. Well, wouldn't you know at the end of the summer, it was looking really good for my condo deal to go through. And so I immediately went back to see this other location that I had fallen in love with. To me, it was perfect. It was so beautiful. It was so amazing. It was a little more money that I wanted to spend, shocker, but I was so excited. I couldn't wait to live there. Well, I get there and they had just sold the location to somebody else. And it was under contract.

It was a done deal, right? The ship had sailed. I went into total upset phase, you know, I mean, I think I even cried. I was just so heartbroken that in my mind, this was the most perfect place in the world. And what do you mean somebody else got it? No, it's got to fall apart. And I started obsessing about that, right? This is meant for me. Even though every morning I was getting up and asking God, please close the doors on that, which is not meant for me, please open the doors on that, which is meant for me. But I wasn't really living it. I was saying it, which is a great first step, right? Because we want to plant the seeds. We want to make these suggestions to our mind, to our subconscious, to our everyday life of what we want and we want. We want to ask for what we want,

but then we also have to get real with ourselves and say, am I really living this, right? I'm asking for it, but am I living it. If I am going to have a strong relationship with God, I have to have faith. I have to let go of this idea that I control everything. I don't control, you know, the majority of things of the world. I can control my choices and my actions, but that's about it. I had to let go, and that was a struggle for me. But what I've learned, and when I read the things that I've written during this time period, right, because I reflect on it every morning, because it was so powerful and so big in my life, and I don't want to forget it, what I realize is this.

The longer I was holding onto it, driving over to that house, getting upset, crying, feeling so bad for myself, wanting to find a way to unwind the new buyer and get them out of there so I could get into my house. I was calling it that, by the way. I had to let go of that. I had to let go and let God. I had to say, wait a minute, I've been asking for God to close the doors on that which is not meant for me. Maybe this was not meant for me. Maybe I need to have faith right now to just let go. And if it is meant for me, it will show up somehow and it will be for me. And that was the hardest part for me. And this is why I wrote it all down. It was really, really challenging for me. I've had control issues my entire life, right, that I want to control everything and I want to force the outcome. what I've learned is that's wrong. And so I've learned so much that through my relationship with my faith and through so much through the books that I've read over the past year has really brought me to this.

And now I'm finally starting to live it. I'm not perfect at it, by the way, because I'm 48 years old. We've got a lot of years under our belt of doing it one way, which didn't work. But this new way does work. And that's why I write down these examples and I read them and reread them all the time to remind myself, hey, stay on this path. This is the proof that you need. So when you have these moments, write them down, read them with intention on the daily to remind yourself of the path that you do want to stay on. And this is the proof as to why you should do it. When you want more,

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why did, you know, why did my boyfriend cheat on me? And why did this happen? We were supposed to get married. And this is how it was supposed to be. You know, and I would go through, oh my gosh, I can't tell you a number of times have I gone through those emotions where, no, I want to hang on and like strangle the life out of everything to make it work and make it happen. instead of just saying, you know what, this doesn't feel right and this isn't right for me. And I can let go and let God and have faith that this door is meant to be closed for now for me. If it's meant to open in the future, it will. And if it's not, something else better will be there and have that faith.

I did not live like that before. And it's caused me so many problems in my life, problems I don't want for you. So this idea of letting go, letting God, or letting the universe, however you want to say it, and having this faith that if the door, closes it wasn't meant for you. You don't need to be smashing on the door and, you know, taking an axe out and trying to knock the door down the way that I've lived my life. But instead, you can gracefully walk away in faith knowing that that right door will open for you, whichever one is meant to. Okay. So this was all happening. And I slowly started releasing my chokehold on that place that I

wanted so badly that I called my house that I was crying over. And I started opening my mind to, okay, this door has been closed because it's not meant for me, which means there is a door out there that is meant for me, and it's got to be something better. And so I called my realtor and I said, we need to start looking at other places. I want to open my mind to other possibility out there. I need to move on from this one location since it's gone emotionally, mentally. Like, I got to take some action here and get myself moving in a different direction. And And wouldn't you know, we went and saw a place. And I thought, you know, this is fine.

This is, you know, I'm going to make an offer. And I made an offer on this location. I wasn't in love with the place, but I thought, you know what? This is fine. It's fine. Let's just get it. And so I was negotiating with the realtor. And the realtor was awful and treating me in a way that I was not happy about.

And my son was watching me on text. And he said, he grabbed my hand and he said, mom, you look very upset right now and very annoyed. if this home was meant for us, it would be going through easily and with ease and grace, and it wouldn't be this upset and challenge and fighting. He said, I don't think God's hand is on this, which means I don't think our hand should be on it. I think you should let it go. And I remember thinking to myself, oh, he's so profound, he's so smart, and he is an old soul. And he's right.

I was fighting with the realtor, you know, on text. And I decided to put the phone down to let go. and let God. And I went to bed that night, and I felt at peace with what I had decided, and I thought, I'll pick this up in the morning. In the morning, I picked the phone, and somebody else had got that location, right? And I just decided to say, okay, then that one wasn't meant for us. Please close the doors on that, which is not meant for us. So I let go, and I let go. And I did not get all upset and angry, which is the way that I would have handled it in the past. I just said, I'm going to let go, and another better door will open for me. So the next day,

I went to look at condos with my realtor, and we went in a saw this beautiful place. It was really expensive. So I start trying to negotiate with the guy on site. It was a gorgeous place. I had never been in the building. It was really, really beautiful. And I start trying to negotiate with him while we're there face to face because I just want to get a deal done. And I love the place. It was really beautiful. Bigger than what I needed, but I loved it. And the guy gave me this cold stare and said, you're out of your mind. If you think we're going to negotiate at all, this will be done full asking price or not done at all. And I remember thinking, what? Not negotiate? You're crazy. And I looked him right back in the eyes. I said, well, then I'm not

your buyer. And I looked at my realtor. And I said, let's go. And we left. And I was so clear and I just knew. And it was so freeing in this idea of close the door and that, which is not meant for me, the way the man addressed me and the fact that he wouldn't even entertain any type of negotiation, just said to me, like, this is not my deal at all. And so it just became clear, okay, this door is closing, too. Something better is out there. And so my realtor said, okay, we have one place left to see today, Heather, and then I'm going to have to go back to the drawing board. And I said, okay, it's fine. I know that the right door is out there somewhere. We just haven't found it yet. And I'm going to move forward in this faith that I don't control everything, but there is something better out there when I let go and

and let it unfold. And so we arrived at the final place, and I had never been at the building before, and we got up to the unit, and I knew instantaneously that this was my home. It was so crazy, and it was so gorgeous, and it was so much less money than the place we had just seen that I was making an offer on. And it all came together with such ease and grace, and the other realtor was so nice and kind, and I told her immediately I wanted it, and she told me immediately she wanted me to get it, and it all worked, and it was seamless, and there was no fighting, and there was no drama, and I would have never found this place where I live now if I hadn't let go of that first place. Remember the one that I told you, I was so obsessed with, I used to drive over and look at it

all the time. Where I live now is so much of a better fit for me, location-wise, size-wise, price-wise, everything, and I like it better, but I would have never found where I am today if I hadn't let go of this idea of something else being meant for me. So it's this big life lesson for me, and there's so many examples of this in my life. I can't even, I look back in so many times, did I try to strangle something to death to try to make it work because I thought it had to be this way, that as you learn, there is proof, and for me, that one story I just share with you. is just an example that there is proof. When you let go of mediocre, you open the door to grab great. Right? You've got to be willing to let go of that which is not meant for you in order to grab

that which is. And the best is yet to come. That next thing, that next door holds so much more, but you have to be willing to let go of the other one. And for so long in my life, I was holding on and strangling things to try to control them even when they weren't the best. out of fear, out of the fear of the unknown, out of fear of the future, out of fear of what's behind door number three, when now I'm living in door three, and it's the best ever. I couldn't be happier. I'm so grateful every day. And I love reading through that story every morning for me. For sure, that's going in my next book, by the way. But I love reading through that story, which is all about letting it go of that which is not meant for us so that we can open the doors to that which is. And that which is ahead of us is. so much better than you can ever imagine, but you won't find it until you let go. So I don't know what it is that you're holding on to in your life. If it's a person, if it's people, if it's a profession, a company, a bad habit, if it's, you know, the home you wanted to buy and you can't get over your doc yet yet,

a aka that was me a couple of months ago. But I'm here today with proof to tell you when you let go of the doors that are closing on you, and they're closing for a reason, you actually open up the door to something so much better. And that was the same way with my job when I got fired. That was the same way with relationships in my life that I was so afraid to let go of because what if there wasn't something better on the other side? But instead, moving forward, knowing what you're worth, knowing your value and knowing when something isn't the right fit for you, like my son said, when that realtor was treating

me in a rude manner, that's not our deal. that these aren't our people, right? We don't need to be treated that way. That right door will open. And when it does, it will happen with ease and grace, because that's what we're asking for. That's what we're praying for. And that's the energy we're putting out there. So I hope that that that story helps you in some way to let go of something that you're trying to hold on to that isn't meant for you. And if you're having those moments, be sure to ask, please close the doors on that which is not meant for me. And please open the doors to that which is. The best is yet to come. And that is for sure. I am positive about that. Okay, so we're getting close to the holiday right now. If you haven't

ordered Confidence Creator or Overcome Your Villains for someone that you love, oh my gosh, get it now. Both are on sale right now. It's crazy. Overcome your villains, the hardcover is like $16, which is 40% off. It's incredible. And you can still get it in time for the holiday. Please set somebody up for success for 2003. Give them the information they need so they can then in turn apply it to their life and start to transform in ways that you know are possible. I also just launched my new product, soul sayings. Oh my gosh, go to my link in my Instagram account. You'll see it. I have these incredible, I'm so proud of these. I partnered with a friend of mine who was an incredible shoe company, and we put together sayings. Basically, everybody needs to be able to pick themselves

up once in a while. Well, on the days when you're struggling to, we did the hard work for you. We put notes on the bottom of your shoes. You can order these. online. They're only $10. They're such a great stocking stuff or such a great gift to up with somebody else. We all need encouragement once in a while. And I hope that I get to be there to encourage you through this show, through my books, through the podcast, through my soul sayings now. I'm super excited to hear what you think. As always, drop me a DM. Please leave a review. If you like the show, share it with someone that you love. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be.