Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #280: The Secret To Setting Goals You Will Achieve, With Heather!

Episode Date: December 21, 2022

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Get Heather’s SMART goal-setting model that delivers each year The importance of Accountability and how you can access it for free here: https://heathermonahan.com/accountability-partner-sign-up/ 10 Keys to giving your best speech or presentation ever! Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Order my Soul Sayings  Show Notes:  If you are going through a tough time, I hear you, and you’re not alone! Look back at a year ago today, and give yourself the GIFT of reflection. Always take time to remember how far you’ve come, especially when you’re dealing with challenging times. If you can write down your goals and revisit them everyday, you’ll accomplish them before you know it! Plus I’ll give you my top tips for preparing for a speech or an important meeting. Invest in yourself and let go of your expectations so you can embrace all the joy around you!

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. I hope your December is going amazing and you're excited for your holidays. However, I know that the holidays are not always a joyful time of year for everyone.

And I just want you to know that if you are going through a tough, time, I hear you. It does not always come together as seamlessly or perfectly as you want or hope. I remember last year I was going through a really tough few months in my life. I was in a court case with my ex-husband about my son. You know, things just were not going well. And I was really frustrated. I was discouraged. Both my son and I got sick right before Christmas. And it just felt like, wait a minute, there's all this hype and we're supposed to be having this amazing season and everyone on social media is so happy and things are going so great. It just felt terrible, which is also one of the reasons why I want you to reflect on a year ago right now and just think to yourself how far you've

come. Like, whatever it is in your life, you might not be happy with everything right now. I'm certainly not. However, it's so much better than it was a year ago. And it's so easy to forget that, right? It is so easy. So give yourself that gift. of reflection of where you were a year ago right now, what you've overcome, you know, what great decisions you've made. Of course, I'm sure there's some that you're not super happy about. I definitely have a few that I'm not happy about, but we learn from them and we move on. We grow. So, you know, even if you are in a moment right now where it is challenging, where you are frustrated, you're not living your best life, know that you've overcome other

challenging times and you will overcome this one as well and try to take some of that pressure off yourself. That always helps me to put things in better perspective is to appreciate those hard times in the past and really remind myself that, you know what, I can get through this as well. That's past proof that we can get through these current and future moments that are challenging because we are all going to have them. So I hope that you take a moment to reflect on where you were a year ago, all of the amazing things you've accomplished, all the goals that you had set out to achieve. And P.S., can you please do me a favor? I guarantee most everyone listening right now puts together grocery lifts before you leave the house to make sure you get your kids, whatever

they want, or your spouse, or yourself. But so often people aren't writing those things down for the new year, their goals to New Year. I write down an insane amount of goals. I don't think I've ever achieved all of them, but that's okay. You know, it's different things for me to shoot for, and things change during the year, right? Things happen that are unexpected. And it's important to have goals to write them down, to revisit them, to get up every day with an intention, right? I read my goals almost every single day. I actually didn't today because my son had a sleepover last night and it was just pure chaos.

And I've been thinking about it all day. I didn't do my routine. You know, I didn't get up and have a moment to thank God for all that I have and be grateful for all the amazing things that I have and look at what my intention is for that day and how I want to lead my life with joy and love and to look at my goals and my why. Why am I trying to do this? I want to make the world a better place. I want to impact people in a positive way, right? So get in the habit of reminding yourself what it is you're setting out to do. If you keep these ideas and goals top of mind, you're so much more likely to achieve them. If you write them down,

you're 90% more likely to achieve them, right? If you share them with an accountability partner, you're like 80% more likely to achieve it. There's so many different ways you can set yourself up for success, but you've got to make yourself a priority and do it. It's that simple. So I am working on my goals for next year. The funny thing is, since the pandemic occurred, I'm so much less rigid about things,

meaning I used to have my one year, five year, 10 year plans, and they had to go the way I dictated, and I had to achieve them. And then the pandemic hit, and it wiped everything out and threw me for a loop that I know for some people was harder than others and some people had a great time during the pandemic. It just depends where you were in your life. For me, it was an incredibly challenging time, and I was so scared.

I was so afraid of that uncertainty. I lost so much business in a short window of time. However, you know, trying to find the gratitude and the blessings, I look back now. And the blessing for me was that I learned how to be a great virtual speaker. I didn't even know virtual speaking was a thing. P.S. now I do virtual speeches every week, and I never have to leave my house. Granted, I get paid half as much as I would if I was in person, but there's still something so beautiful about that.

You can reach more people without having to travel. You can do multiple events in one day. I had one day I did eight virtual events, and I reached thousands of people from so many different companies, right? So there are blessings there if you're willing to see them and celebrate them. And that's what I'm training myself to do because I love in person everything. And I was so discouraged for a while. I had to let go of what I had known in order to be willing to embrace what is and what could be. And then now everything's hybrid. So there's such a benefit and blessing to both of it. And I hope you can see that in your life. So for me, when I think about a year ago, I just think about all of these challenges I was up against, you know, since then I've moved. I live in an incredible place. I'm on this adventure this year. You know, I've never been to the area I live in now. I'm always meeting new people. It's just life is so different than the way it had been very similar for 17 years. And, you know,

I completely purged everything in my home, which was such a great exercise. If you have not done that, oh my gosh, give yourself the gift of clearing clutter out of your life. It will help you so much. So, you know, I did that and I went through that exercise. And yeah, it was challenging, moving, right? Oh, my gosh, when you haven't moved in 17 years, it's holy. I have forgotten what that was like and I had forgotten how much stuff I had accumulated. But it was also really cool to go back and look through it, right? I went back and I was looking through my notes.

I take notes on everything. I journal. And I was looking back on the notes over the last 17 years of my life and seeing it was so crystal clear to me, wow, this is why things were going well at that point in time, or, wow, I'm really proud of myself that I did that. Or, oh, my gosh, I wish I could speak to the me back then and let her know why she wasn't feeling good about the situation. There was a reason. Right. I just didn't know it yet.

So it's so insightful and just gives you that opportunity to become more self-aware, right? And ask yourself more curious questions as to why we're behaving in a certain way or why we make the decisions that we do. or why we beat ourselves up so much, right? Or why we didn't deliver on a goal that was important to us. And give yourself some grace that, you know, we're all on this journey together. If you're here, you're on a growth journey. So I'm already proud of you just for that, right? Good for you.

There are so many people in the world that just aren't even interested in growing. I was speaking to a good friend of mine who has a huge, incredible business. She's over successful. And she made a comment to me when we were on the phone. And she said, Heather, you know, not everyone is like us. Not everyone wants to get out there and kill it and invent new things and grow and expand. Some people are okay with just getting by. And that hit me because I don't think, I know you, that's not you, right?

It's not me. So it's hard to understand that. However, when I really challenge myself, there's been times in my life that I wasn't growing at the trajectory I am now, right? That I was just like, okay, wait a minute, pause first. second. It happens to everybody, you know, that you get into different moments in your life where you're like, okay, I got to take my foot off the gas for a moment. I need to breathe. I need to readjust, and then I can get back to it again. So not judging anyone that isn't in that phase, but I'm proud of you that you are, because I truly believe we're on this earth to reach our potential,

to reach the plan that God has for us, which is so much greater than anything we can ever imagine, My life is taken so many turns that I would have never projected or conceived of, and I know it's so much greater than me. And I feel so blessed for that gift. But it's all about stepping into that unknown, stepping into that uncertainty, moving to the place where you don't know anybody, being willing to walk away from what might be okay in order to start going for great. And all of those things don't come with a guarantee. they're definitely going to come with some hiccups along the way, but I believe they're all worth it. And I hope you do too, because I believe you are worth it. And I want you to go for more in 2003 and challenge yourself and write those goals down and share them with somebody.

Go to my social media, share them on my post, DM me. Go to my website, heathermonahan.com. Shoot them to me. I want you to feel accountable because the more accountable you feel, the less likely you're going to be to let yourself down. and I definitely don't want you letting yourself down. Because when we break promises to ourselves, that's really the ultimate confidence destruction, right? When we tell ourselves and tell others we're going to do something and we don't do it, yikes, that's a tough one to overcome. So it's okay to fail.

It's okay to, you know, fall short, but we've got to hold our word to ourselves and stay honest and true to ourselves. And when we can do that, it doesn't matter what the outcome is. we know that we are living our truth, and that's something you can feel really, really good about. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than a rough patch, you don't need just another meditation app. Takayatry makes it easy to see a psychiatrist online using your insurance in days. Takayatry is 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD and ADHD, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, insomnia, and more. Unlike therapy-only apps,

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and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes. Visit Northwestregisteredagent.com slash confidence-free and start building something amazing. Get more with Northwest Registered Agent at www. northwestregisteredagent.com slash confidence-free. Okay, so I'm super proud about the changes I made in my life over the last year and the experiences I went through. And again, not all perfect, by the way. Oh, my gosh, definitely not all perfect. And definitely some of them were super hard.

But all experiences that I learned something from took something. from and I'm choosing today to be grateful for. So I hope you're finding some things to be grateful for in your day. So I have a couple of different clients that I coach, and one of them, so interesting, she's an experience very similar to the one that I used to be in when I was in corporate America, where she's surrounded by some people who don't always have her back, who aren't always cheering her on, or if they are, it's tongue-in-cheek, and they're also stabbing her in the back at the same time. on a call that we had this week, she was explaining to me some of the awful things that were

happening at work. P.S. This is real life. If you are in corporate America or you have been, you know the truth is toxic cultures are out there. They're not everywhere, but they are in a lot of places, a lot of companies. And it's just shocking sometimes to hear how awful some people can be to one another. But one of the things that I wanted to share with her and I want to share it with you is I reminded her, it's not, number one, it's not about her, right? When people treat you really badly or do something very, very harmful to you, hurtful, that's about them. That's not about you. It says a lot about them. It says very, very little about you. How you respond to that situation says a lot about you. And I just reminded her that we don't know what that person's going through

and I'm not making excuses for them. But I do think it's important to take a step back, pause, don't react, respond with grace and elegance, even though it's not always easy. Give yourself a little bit of time, go for a run, do something to separate from reacting, which is never the right answer. And when you give yourself that grace, you give yourself that pause, you'll be able to see things in a more clear way. And one of the things I asked her was, what's your ultimate goal from this? Right. And I think that's a great question to ask ourselves. What do we ultimately want from the situation? We want to tell this person, off and tell them they're wrong? Probably not, right? That's probably not that beneficial. Is it that we just

want to be heard? No, we have good people in our lives that if we want to be heard, we can share with people we trust and love. So then what is it? We want to rectify the situations so we don't repeat the same situation again or do we want to set boundaries, right? Like from a healthy standpoint, what is it that we ultimately want to achieve? And one of the things I offered to her was maybe it's that you just want to survive the situation for right now as best and positive. as you can for both parties, knowing this person is in your rearview mirror. You're not staying working with someone like this. You are moving on because these people don't deserve you, right? So it's figuring that out first. Like, what is your ultimate goal in the situation? What do you

ultimately want? And then seeing everything through that lens in regards to what is the strategy we need to implement? What are the next steps we need to take? So definitely get curious about those questions before you react. And instead, take a moment, pause. and respond after you've thought about it after you've answered them. But it really threw me for a loop hearing her situation this week and remembering that I was in a situation like that all of the time for 14 years. And I endured that way too long. You've got to give yourself an end date, right? So the best goals are smart goals, specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely. And when you think about your goals in that regard, especially your goals for 2023, you've got to give yourself a

deadline, right? So it's just a dream unless you're willing to put a deadline on it. And for me, I kept kicking that can down the road when I was at that company for 14 years. Oh, I'm sure it'll get better or I'm not going to put up this anymore. I'm sure it'll change or, you know, there was, I just, I wouldn't pull the trigger and put that deadline on it. And it was definitely because of fear. I was afraid. I didn't know how I would make money. And I got myself so, caught up in this circling the drain kind of attitude that, if I'm not here, what if I'm not good? If I, maybe it's because of the company that I'm so successful, all these fake fears that weren't real talking myself into the devil I know instead of the devil I don't.

Well, I'm here to tell you on the other side of it, there was a devil I knew, but the other side of it was not a devil. It was just the unknown. And changing our language is so. incredibly powerful. I know I've shared this with you before. I used to always say, I have golden handcuffs. I can't leave. Well, I was speaking that to be a truth to myself. I was holding myself there with these made up golden handcuffs. Instead of, I wish that I had known to say I'm in a really difficult situation because I've been here for a long time and I'm really scared to leave.

However, I'm never going to realize my potential. I'm never going to realize the other opportunities are out there for me until I take the leap, until I pick my head up outside of this awful situation and start looking for where else I can add value, what other problems I can solve, and what other good I can do in the world. Something tells me that's a better solution. So for you, in your situation right now, pick your head up. Stop speaking in words and using words that are holding you back, instead start empowering yourself with the words that will thrust you forward and try to be as mindful as possible, right? Being self-aware is everything. And I, when I get into a rut, I am not self-aware at all, right? I'll start throwing myself a pity party or get angry

at somebody else, right? There's this whole natural bad behavior that I have when things get really challenging. I think I had mentioned to you, I had fallen a couple of weeks ago and my doctor said I couldn't work out for a few weeks. Me not being able to work out is like the worst news ever. And of course, I understand your body needs to heal and we have to, you know, do what's right. But it's been super trying for me. And I realized one of my biggest ways to overcome stress is to work out, right? So not having that, I was getting into some bad moods that is not my typical way to be.

And I was really having to do the work to remind myself, Okay, get up and go for a walk outside. Drink some water. Get more sleep tonight, right? Do the things that you can control when you're not in control of all the things you really wish you were. Because for me, I really wished I could have been working out every day and I haven't been able to. But instead, see that you're lucky that you're someone who has a future where you will be able to work out. And there are things you can do today instead. You know, so trying to get back to that present moment and realize everything is temporary. embrace that instead of circling the drain and driving yourself crazy like I've been doing the past couple of weeks. Starting the year with a wardrobe refresh, Quince has you covered with luxe essentials that feel effortless and look polished. They're perfect for layering, mixing, and building a wardrobe that lasts. Their versatile styles make it easy to reach for them day after day. Quince has all the staples covered from soft Mongolian cashmere sweaters that feel like designer pieces without the markup to 100% silk tops and skirts for easy dressing up to perfectly cut denim for everyday

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Okay. So I hope that that helps you or gives you some insight in some ways that you're not alone. I'm right here with you. I definitely get into the negative moments myself. However, I've learned it's up to each one of us to pull ourselves right back out and not wait for the lifeguard to come throw us a buoy, but instead to find a branch or something else and pull ourselves right out of it. Oh, and that reminds me.

Oh, my gosh, a great branch for you to pull yourself out of a rut is my soul. things, my new product. Oh my gosh, I'm obsessed. I partner with a good friend of mine who has a really successful shoe company, and we created these amazing sayings for the bottom of your shoes so that you set yourself up for success today and every day, especially for the moment when you're feeling down and feeling like you can't pull yourself out. You can remind yourself by looking at the bottom of your shoes and seeing that note that we left you there because we are there with you pulling you up and you don't need to do it alone. Soul sayings. Love it. Oh my gosh. The feedback been great. Check it out. I will put the link in the show notes below. Okay. So one of the things that's

been interesting for me over the last couple years is how often surprises come into my life that everything else used to be very linear before when I was in corporate America. I knew the next thing that was going to happen for the most part, right? I knew I could forecast, I could project, anticipate. Well, my life has not been like that the last few years as I've been on my own, which makes it incredibly scary and incredibly rewarding and exciting and fun and amazing, right? So there's two sides to any coin. I'm choosing to lean into the exciting, fun, and rewarding side, but there are moments where it's scary. This one, not so much.

At the beginning of every year, as you know, I set major goals, crazy goals, like, I want to be a New York Times bestseller. I want to be the number one keynote speaker in the world. I mean, I want to have a top 10 business podcast on Apple and Spotify. we're top 25 right now, by the way, which is amazing, and that's all because of you. So thank you so much. But we're still not to top 10 yet, right? So I've got work to grow and things to do to get better. But I set these crazy ambitious goals.

And then sometimes things show up in my life that I didn't set an intention for or I didn't have a plan for. And those are just incredible blessings. And one of those blessings came to fruition this week, which was really amazing. So being in the speaking business, I mean, you can be hired from sports. teams to massive corporations, to events, to charities. I mean, there's so many different people and venues and events that can hire you. And you never know, I mean, on any given day, I could get 10 inquiries to my website or on social media, someone inquiring about hiring me. Well, a few months ago, the Miami Heat reached out to me, and I live in Miami. So that's

an ideal client because you don't have to get on a plane and travel. And a huge brand and super exciting. And the funny thing was, I've been to the Heat Arena, used to be American Airlines Arena. Now it's called FTX Arena. I've been there thousands of time because my old job was in the media business. And so we would have concerts there all the time. Of course, I was a huge heat fan. And I went to, especially when LeBron was here, I went to every single game. And so it was just so surreal for me having this moment to say, oh my gosh, this venue I've been to literally thousands of times over the last 20 years and I love going to and it's so exciting to go there. I'm going to arrive this week as the talent, as the speaker, not as the audience. And it was such a wild

moment going in there. However, because I've been speaking now so much so for the last five years and then prior to that I spoke for 20 years in corporate America, but, you know, on this keynote speaker journey, I felt confident going in, of course, and I was excited. I was excited. excited about it, but it still was one of these wild, surreal moments to just say, wow, like, what a blessing, what a gift, I feel so blessed, but reminding myself, I did the work to get here. And this actually wasn't one thing that I had set a specific intention for. It had crossed my mind. I thought that would be incredible. But when the day actually came, it blew me away. It was definitely one of those moments that you don't forget.

So what I wanted to share with you from this moment was a few things. I wanted to talk about some of the takeaways that I put together that I help. I hope they're going to help you. I'm not suggesting, you know, you need to speak for the Miami Heat, but what I'm suggesting is maybe you're going to speak up in a PTA meeting or maybe you're giving a presentation at work or maybe you are going to be taking a stage and that's one of your goals for 2023, which if so, yeah, boo yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. Let's go bigger. Let's get this done and put it on your board and your target list.

There isn't anything that's too big for you. You can push yourself to go bigger and push yourself to step into the fear and build the momentum. And you will get there. And I know that firsthand. Okay, so I came up with this list of my top tips for taking a big stage or making a presentation or making an ask for anything. Right. But I hope these tips will help you. And I get a lot of questions about how to prep for speeches.

So here's a few thoughts. It really works for me. It helps me, and I think it'll help you. Okay, number one, there's a fine line between fear and excitement. This one's huge. Keep repeating to yourself, I'm excited. I'm excited. I'm excited. Right. So that's true. When you get nervous energy in your body, if you start saying, oh my gosh, I'm scared. Oh my gosh. What if I blow it? I'm so nervous. You're just reinforcing that thought and that energy in you. Epic fail. I make myself instead, number one, I jump up and down. I usually hit my playlist for my life, my songs that I only listen to and I'm going to do something big to prime my mind to create success for myself. And then I start saying, I'm excited. I'm so excited.

Right. I really get into this mode of being super excited. And I also visualize that I'm going to help somebody. I'm going to impart knowledge that could potentially impact someone in a really positive way. And that overflows my heart with joy. Right. I stop making it about myself. I start making it about them. I start leaning into excitement and leaning away from fear. and it usually pushes me right through that initial fear or nervous vibe that I might have going into something really, really big. So get excited. Okay, that's number one.

Two, always lead with a personal story. You want to draw your audience in and engage with them immediately. A personal story creates a connection. I opened my story at the heat with the fact that I had gotten a black eye from falling down and let me tell you something. I had that audience at the word go. people were on the edge of their seat dying to know what had happened, right? So you don't have to tell a story I would tell, but tell a story that's real to you, right? Tell or share a story

that's meaningful and real in your life because the more authentic and real it is, the more you're going to captivate others and pull them in, knowing they're hearing your truth. Always lead with a personal story. Establishes trust and credibility really quickly. Okay. Three, getting your energy to the highest level you can before you enter the the venue is critical. Use your playlist. That was the one I mentioned to fire you up. Jump up and down. Fire your villains the day before. Remove anyone negative from your life. You have no time for negativity. You don't have time for anyone bringing you down when it's your job to elevate others. Thank you and fire the bad guys. Okay. Number four, make it about them. When you stop thinking about you

and make it about the possible impact you can have on the audience, all of your pressure will disappear. That is a critical element in successful speaking. is to stop saying, what if they think about what I'm wearing? What if I fall down? What if I mess up? Instead, what if I impact one person there and change their life? And how can you not smile? How can you not feel overjoyed? And how can you not go leave it all out there and go for it? It's incredible. And then use those past success stories and testimonials you get from people as future proof. This one's going to go great too. Okay, five, acknowledge three other times in your career when you stepped into something or went for something big. and it went well even though you were nervous. You can use that as your past proof that this event

is going to go well, too. This is huge. I do this all of the time. Remind yourself of other times you were nervous and you made it through alive. You will make it through alive in this one too. Six, visualize huge. Take the time leading up to your event to visualize the outcome you're creating. I will never forget with my TED Talk. I watched the top and biggest TED Talks for months every night before giving mine And I visualize myself in their shoes in those red circles. I could see it as if it was real. Take the time, do the work, visualize yourself, killing it, and you will. I'm telling you, it's going to set you up for so much more success. And you can use visualization for anything. It doesn't just have to be for a talk, right? It's an intention that you have. Just visualize it

actually coming to fruition. I'm flying to New York tomorrow. I'm going to visualize my trip going incredible with tons of smiles and positive energy and good and, you know, miraculous. events and miracles happening. Let's go see what's about to happen to New York. I can promise you this. It's going to be really good. Okay, number seven, be your biggest cheerleader. You hear your voice in your words more than anyone else. Make sure those words are supportive and uplifting for you. I always have my soul sayings on to lift me up. Check them out. Okay, the soul sayings are the best. I love them. But, you know, pause when you hear yourself beating yourself up and remind yourself, how's that working out for me? Does that help me? No. Well, let you

change that. Let's change that narrative and let's speak to ourselves the way we would to a child or someone we love or someone we really care about. And over time, that will become second nature for you. Oh, number eight, such a good one. Turn to preachers. This Sunday, when you head to church, look to your pastor for inspiration. I look to my pastor each week and he gives me amazing ideas that I can reinvent and incorporate into my speeches. Look outside of you for inspiration and ideas. Too often people want to reinvent the wheel. Right. And so, oh, I've got to do it a whole new innovative way. Well, so much of innovation comes from seeing what works with others outside of your industry, outside of your circle, and then picking up

on the things that actually complement you that could work for you and incorporating those. A great example of that is the corset for women came out hundreds of years ago, right? And for a long time, people wore this, women wore this really uncomfortable corset that was supposed to cinch them in at the waist. Well, then Sarah Blakely invented Spanx. She reinvented the concept of a corset into something more comfortable that still had a positive impact on how women looked in clothes. Then a few years later, Kim Kardashian came out with Skims. She reinvented Spanx with new marketing into something called skims. So those two women, I just gave examples for Sarah Blakely and Kim Kardashian, both billionaires, right? So you don't have to come up with a bold, brand new idea that no one's ever heard of or thought of

before, sometimes you just have to reimagine what's already working out there through the lens of you, your experience, your marketing, your innovation, and watch how that can take off. Number nine, ask for what you want. If you want the Q&A segment to be engaging in fun, ask the audience to bring you some fire questions, then reward the behavior you're asking for. I had told the audience I would autograph three books for the top three questions once we got to Q&A. We never actually got through all of the Q&A because there were. so many questions we ran out of time. Ask for what you want. Reward the behavior you're asking for. Number 10. Be the real you, flaws and all. People want to connect and relate to someone,

not feel isolated or separate. Be sure to speak with inclusion and approach the audience as one of them. We are all in this together. That is so incredibly true. And I'm sure I didn't give you every idea in the world for speeches or presentations, but these are some good starting points. another one that I love is go to the venue ahead of time, go to the office that you're going to be speaking in, see yourself in that room, you know, take the extra time to get yourself ready so that you feel your best. If running in the morning makes you feel stronger and more confident, go do that. If meditating, go do that, right? Set yourself up, see the day ahead and say, what are some of the things that I can do to remove some obstacles for my day so that I feel better and more confident and I can move into it

with ease. Don't stress yourself out. Don't try to jam pack too many things in when you have a really important day or an event, try to create a lot of space for it. I've gotten much better at that as I've gotten older. I used to try to act like it was just a regular day, even though I might have something huge going on. And then I'd be so stressed out trying to take care of everything. These days, and my son knows it, if I have a huge speech coming up, I let him know, dude, stay off my radar from, you know, wake up time until I get home from my event. After that, I am all yours. I'm back at the mom biz. But until till X time, I've got to prep for this. I've got to get in my right mental state. I've got to set

myself up for success. Now, we'll so appreciate your help. Please help me to, you know, get this done. So ask for what you need. Set those boundaries. Give yourself the space and grace and put yourself first. Another thing I wanted to mention is the importance of investing in yourself, right? So often people think, oh, I'll invest in myself with a personal trainer for working out or I'll invest in myself. I'm going to take a class. in accounting so I can get better at my accounting. But there's a way to invest in yourself in everything, right? When I gave my TED Talk, I hired a speaker coach. Now, mind you, at that point in time, I've been speaking for over 25 years in public venues, huge venues. I had spoken for back then, you know, huge audience of 20,000 plus, right? So I had taken massive stages already

back then, but I didn't care. I wanted to go to that next level. I wanted to get better. and I knew if I was willing to spend money and spend time investing in someone who does this for a living, I'm going to find a way to get better. And my coach, my speaker coach that I hired for my TED Talk was incredible, gave me such great tips and helped me so much. So invest in you. You're worth it. You deserve it. Your goals for 2023 deserve it. And I want you to see them come to fruition. And something tells me you will. Okay. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. Get that list done for 2023. Know that I am here cheering you on. And if you need an accountability partner, go to Heather Monaghan.com and get my free 30-day email program. I got you. And if you need extra push,

download Confidence Creator and Overcome Your Villains on Audible Now. The reviews are incredible. And when you commit to yourself putting me in the car with you on Audible every day, you know we are getting this done. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. Thank you.