Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #309: What It ACTUALLY Takes To LEAD With Matt Mayberry Former NFL Linebacker & Leadership Development Expert

Episode Date: April 4, 2023

Have you been wanting to work with Heather? Her annual elite mastermind is open NOW!   She is only accepting 20 participants this year! Click the link below to learn more and apply now if you are ...ready to go to the next level! https://heathermonahan.com/the-elite-mastermind/ In This Episode You Will Learn About:  How to lead and connect deeply with the people around you  The key to becoming the author of your OWN life   Finding work that fills you with joy  How to create culture within your work environment that makes you proud  Tips for improving company culture with tangible changes  Resources: Website: www.mattmayberryonline.com Read Culture Is The Way  Email: info@mattmayberryonline.com  LinkedIn & Facebook: @Matt Mayberry  Twitter & Instagram: @matt_mayberry  Youtube: @MattMayberryTV Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Visit Indeed.com/monahan to start hiring now Get a free LMNT Sample Pack with any order only when you order through DrinkLMNT.com/CreatingConfidence Show Notes:  Sometimes you have to almost lose everything in order to realize what you want most out of life. When Matt Mayberry was faced with the challenge of overcoming his addiction, he tapped into his dreams and proved the doubters WRONG. He’s studied the best cultural builders in the world, and discovered how leaders can define and sustain a people-first work environment. As a former linebacker for the Chicago Bears, Matt has taken his experience to help others as a professional leadership development and performance expert. He’ll share what it takes to move past failures and how we can use our hardships to help others who may be facing similar struggles.     About The Guest: Matt Mayberry is an internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, and a leading global expert in leadership development, culture change, and organizational performance. His insights have been featured in Forbes, Fox, Business Insider, Fortune, NBC, and his client list is full of well known companies like Allstate, JP Morgan, and even the FBI! As a former linebacker for the Chicago Bears, Matt took the lessons he learned on the field straight to the board room. He’s here to share his unique perspective surrounding leadership development, and how he yields high value results.    If You Liked This Episode You Might Also Like These Episodes: How To Start The New Year Off RIGHT, With Heather!  How To Show Up As The Most CONFIDENT Version Of Yourself, With Kim Rittberg Digital Video Expert & Content Strategist  How To Get Motivated When You Aren’t Feeling It, With Heather! 

Transcript
Discussion (0)
Starting point is 00:00:00 A lot of people think culture is unlimited vacation time, wearing shorts to work, getting off on Fridays, having sleep pods on every floor of the company's headquarters. That's not culture, right? Culture is truly behavior at scale. So it's defining what that culture is for that organization. That's really one of the very first areas that we work at. Every leader can communicate, but not every leader connects. And the ability to connect with other people is really what's going to determine your level to impact.
Starting point is 00:00:30 them. I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close. Hi and welcome back. I'm so excited for you to meet our guest this week. Matt Mayberry, he's an internationally acclaimed keynote speaker, leading global expert in leadership development, culture change, and organizational performance. His insights on leadership and business performance have been featured in Forbes, Fox, Business Insider, Fortune, NBC, ESPN, and so many other media outlets. His client list is impressive. J.P. Morgan, Chase, all state, all the way down to Fifth Third Bank and the FBI. Prior to becoming an in-demand keynote speaker, author and
Starting point is 00:01:16 management consultant, Matt was a linebacker for the Chicago Bears. This is incredible. Matt took the lessons he learned on the field and in the locker room straight to the boardroom. His playing days give him a unique perspective and platform to apply those lessons directly to business with a laser focus centered around leadership, culture, peak performance, and teamwork. These invaluable lessons as an athlete have been instrumental in helping him build stronger leadership teams and execute high impact cultural transformations enhancing the performance of organizations in every sector for over a decade. Matt, how's that possible? You look so young. Thanks for being here.
Starting point is 00:01:55 Thank you so much for having me, Heather. I'm really excited to join you today. Thank you so much. All right. So listen, here's the thing. I have a 15-year-old son. He wants nothing to do with the NFL, by the way, but he wants the NBA, right? So it's like every kid's dream to go pro. You need to break down for everyone listening.
Starting point is 00:02:13 How did that dream come to fruition for you? Yeah, you know, it's a question I get a lot, especially a lot of parents, you know, who they'll have a son or a daughter who wants to play professional sports. And I was one of those sons, you know, as far as I had to dream early on that I wanted to be professional athlete. I always thought I wanted to play in the MLB. You know, that was my first love baseball. So, you know, even though I thought- That was a lot safer, maybe a better bet for you. A lot safer, you know, but I'll kind of get in a little bit of my backstory of why baseball actually wasn't my sport that I actually went with. But, you know, for me, it was my dad played football
Starting point is 00:02:47 at Auburn University. So, you know, football was in my DNA. And from an early age, I just loved athletics, particularly football and baseball. Early on, I really had a dream that I wanted to be a professional athlete. And early on, I also had a lot of friends and even family members who told me I was crazy for having that dream. So, you know, I think it's important for, you know, parents, especially to make sure that they're not the one shooting down that dream. I mean, obviously, I think you have to have some practicality and the skill set and talent that your son or daughter may have. But for me, my parents from our early age, they said, hey, if this is what you want to do, you're going to have to work extremely hard at it. You're going to have to be one of the
Starting point is 00:03:23 hardest workers in the room and it's going to have to be a day and night journey. every day of your life. This is really what you want to do. So from an early age, my dad really set me up in a prime position of just what it's going to take, even though he never played in the NFL, but he did have that college football background, which really helped guided me. But then I've also read that you weren't an exemplary student maybe coming up, that you had, even your guidance counselor said to you that it looked like you were heading for jail possibly. Break down for us what was really going on behind the scenes here. So this answers the question of why baseball wasn't my sport that I chose.
Starting point is 00:04:02 So, you know, really starting for me, it started at 16 years old, but really starting at really 13 years old, I was a full-blown drug addict. I've done every single drug you could possibly think of besides heroin. If I wasn't terrified of needles, I probably would have done that too. And I always get asked, you know, Matt, your parents are still married to this day. You grew up in a wonderful family and a great neighborhood. Like, how did you go down that route? You know, cocaine, your mother watched you do cocaine five times. You broke your father's ribs when you
Starting point is 00:04:29 came home past curfew, put him in the hospital for a month and a half. You know, how did you go down that path? And, you know, really, I started hanging around with the wrong crowd. And baseball was my best sport growing up. I was projected to go straight to the MLB, not even go to college. I had scouts come watch me play in high school. But I got kicked off my baseball team because I got called stealing one of my teammates wallets because one afternoon while all my teammates were out at practice, I stayed behind. because whenever everyone was getting dressed, I saw all the cash that was sitting in that wallet and thought about in the back of my mind all the drugs that I could buy with that money.
Starting point is 00:05:01 So, you know, Heather, from an early age, that was my life. So even though I love sports, I also did tear down a very, very dangerous journey of being a full blown out drug addict. Oh my gosh. Okay. So how did you pump the brakes on that very dismal trajectory that you were headed down? You know, for me, it was a lot of self-discovery. But obviously, at 16 years old, I didn't have that level of intuitiveness that I needed self-discovery.
Starting point is 00:05:30 I needed time to sit in a classroom of silence. I needed to, you know, reassess my life. I didn't have that, right? So, I mean, it was my way or the highway. So, you know, even though I deeply loved my parents and I owe everything to them, you know, for me, it really took almost getting expelled. My high school came to me and said, Matt, you know, you're a talented athlete. We want to do everything in our power to make sure that you're not just another young kid who throws away all the God give and, talent and ability that you have.
Starting point is 00:05:56 So what we're going to do is we're either going to expel you, kick you out of this high school, or you're going to have to go to a drug treatment facility for one month. And if you do not go, we're going to expel you. You're going to lose football. You already got kicked off baseball team. So you're going to have no sport to back you up. You're done. We're going to kick you out of here.
Starting point is 00:06:12 So for me, I didn't go to that drug treatment facility because of that proposal. I mean, heck, I wanted to get expelled. I only went because my grandfather offered me $500 if I was to go. start the process of getting sober and working on bettering who Matt Mayberry was. But obviously, I didn't take the $500 because I wanted to get sober. I thought about all the drugs that I could buy with that $500. So long story short, I never got the $500 from my grandfather. But that is initially why I went.
Starting point is 00:06:43 And at that point, I was, you know, two and a half weeks sober. And, you know, one night I did go home to eat dinner with my family. And when my mother and father just broke down in tears because they explained to me that they couldn't go on anymore, watching their son just absolutely destroy his life, that was a moment where it really, you know, rocked me to my core. It truly transformed me. I always tell people, I never believed in moments in time or epiphanies that can drastically alter one's life until that moment, until I experienced it that day when I was sober for two and a half weeks, and my parents just broke down over the dinner table one evening when I was able to eat dinner with
Starting point is 00:07:18 them. Wow, that is incredible. So obviously this process of going away to this rehab and then reconnecting and hearing the pain your parents, this was the turning point for you to say you were done with drugs. Absolutely. That was the turning point. And then, you know, having a conversation with my father, right, after my parents broke down in tears and just seeing them so shattered and really just so clueless, that moment shocked me, but also having a conversation with my father, who probably is one of the most strongest human beings I've ever met throughout the course of my life. He was an iron worker for all of his life, you know, worked 80 hours a week, did everything he could provide for his family, worked seven days a week, just everything I know about what it takes to be a man
Starting point is 00:08:00 and fight for a goal or dream that your passion about came from him. So to see him break down like that, it was an experience like something I've never went through in my entire life. And then us just having that conversation that right now I can be the author of my life, the rest of my life. And regardless of what my past was, I have the opportunity to rewrite the trajectory of my life moving forward. And it was that moment, seeing my parents broken and having that conversation with my father that really changed my life forever. That had to be scary, though. I'm just trying to put myself in your shoes to go back to school with those kids that you had been running with. How were you able not to fall back into those bad habits again? You know, it was very difficult and that's a great question.
Starting point is 00:08:40 You know, I think for me, having that conversation with my father, it's like, okay, I got kicked off the baseball team. And even though baseball was my best sport, my first love, you know, I still have football. And I enjoyed football because my father played it, as I said in the beginning. I was always around the game of football, but I just didn't love it like I did baseball. But at that point, football was the only sport I had left. So for a lot of people, they play a sport because they're passionate about it. They really enjoy it. Football for me was my way out.
Starting point is 00:09:07 It was my way out to start the process of building. a bigger future for my life. And even though I love the game, I didn't really devote my entire being to the game of football because of my love for it. I really devoted it because, hey, this is my one way out to get a college scholarship. So my parents don't have to spend another dime on me and the wrong choices that I made in my life. So for me, from that point forward, when I had that goal and that dream of getting a college scholarship, I didn't really think about going back to my old life or going back to my old friends or even walking down the halls when I was done with the drug treatment facility. Like, look at this guy. He's a, you know, a drug addict and he's going to go back to his old ways.
Starting point is 00:09:47 He thinks he's going to get a college scholarship. He's out of his mind. I didn't care about all that background noise because I was so passionate about that goal or dream. I was willing to do anything it took. So you had a lot of naysayers and haters out there to say the least and you ended up making it, which must have been the most incredible feeling that you were able to overcome. all that adversity and see your way to your goal. Yeah, you know, one year later, I had 19 Division I one college scholarship offers. You know, so Tennessee, Georgia, who just won the national championship, Northwestern. I ended up choosing Indiana, which obviously is not a Georgia or Tennessee or even a dominant
Starting point is 00:10:24 college football program at that matter. But I chose Indiana because I met a man who was the head coach at the time, Terry Hepner, who really changed my life in so many ways. But yes, to answer your question, you know, one year later after rigorous amounts of training and development and getting new friends and my parents taking me to speed training sessions on the weekend, getting stronger, bigger, doing everything I could. One year later, I had 19 scholarship offers. Well, I want to get back to your coach, Terry, because I know the impact that he's had on you and I want you to share some of his teachings. However, you did make it pro, and I want
Starting point is 00:10:58 you to share with us what happens then. Yeah, you know, I like to joke around with people that my NFL career was, you know, what I deemed as a major failure in the very beginning, you know, because when you go at that level, you know, whether you're a first round draft pick or an undrafted free agent as which I was, you know, so I wasn't guaranteed to $10 or $20 million, but I did have a good start. You know, I worked my way up from fourth team to second team, you know, behind Lance Briggs is his backup, who, what I think will be a future Hall of Famer. But I got injured in my very first game. Literally my very first game playing for the hometown team, the Chicago Bears. So all this excitement is built up for, you know, hometown kid, overcame the drug addiction, you
Starting point is 00:11:36 know, just incredible story and local media was eating it up. And I get injured in the very first game, a preseason game against the San Diego Chargers. I tore a bone off my ankle and that was the end of my football career. I was not able to come back from that injury. So even though they told me that that injury was going to be, you know, sidelining me for about nine months, I really wasn't able to run for about three and a half years. So I was never able to come back from that injury, which a very difficult time in my life. When you want more, start your business with Northwest registered agent and get access to thousands of free guides, tools, and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business.
Starting point is 00:12:14 All in one place. Build your complete business identity with Northwest today. Northwest registered agents has been helping small business owners and entrepreneurs launch and grow businesses for nearly 30 years. They are the largest registered agent and LLC service in the U.S. with over 1,500 corporate guides, real people who know your local laws and can help you in your business every step of the way. Build your business identity fast with Northwest registered agent and get access to thousands of free resources, forms, and step-by-step guides without even creating an account. Sign up for a free account to begin managing your business hub with lawyer drafted operating agreements, bylaws, resolutions, membership, certificates, bills as sale, and more, all at no cost.
Starting point is 00:12:58 Northwest is your one-stop business resource. Learn how to build a professional website, what annual filings your business needs to stay in good standing, and simple explanations of complicated business laws. With Northwest privacy is automatic. They never sell your data, and all services are handled in-house. Because privacy by default is their pledge to all customers.
Starting point is 00:13:19 Don't wait. Protect your privacy. Build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes. Visit, Northwest registered agent.com slash confidence-free and start building something amazing. Get more with Northwest Registered Agent at www.
Starting point is 00:13:38 Northwest Registered Agent.com slash confidence-free. Okay, before we get into this show, I need to break something down for you. If you've been with me for a while, you know, I'm super into working out, being healthy, and being the mom of a 15-year-old athlete, which definitely has its challenges. So anytime we find a life hack, you know it's me. I'm going to share it with you. And I've got one for you today. I want to talk to you about Element.
Starting point is 00:14:08 It's an unbelievably tasty electrolyte drink mix that has everything you need and exactly what you don't need. See, most people aren't talking about there's all these hydration packets out there full of sugar. Sugar is what is causing you so many problems in your life. and I had to come to grips with this myself. My son is the one that's been breaking it down for me. We are trying to completely cut sugar out of our lives.
Starting point is 00:14:32 With element, there is no sugar. You're getting the electrolytes. You're getting the things that help you stay healthier and hydrated without the sugar. It's formulated to help anyone with their electrolyte needs and is perfectly suited for folks following keto, low-carb, or paleo diets, or just anyone working out. P.S., if you're working out going for a run in Florida, you need electrolytes. If you're working out anywhere and really pushing yourself, you need electrolytes.
Starting point is 00:14:59 It's a science-back electrolyte ratio, 1,000 milligram sodium, 200 milligrams potassium, 60 milligrams, magnesium, with none of the junk. No sugar, no coloring, no artificial ingredients, no gluten, no fillers, no BS. And you can receive a free element sample pack with any order only when you order through, drink LM, m m t.com slash creating confidence. Receive a free element sample pack with any order when you order through drink. L mn t.com slash creating confidence. You are going to love the flavors. They're incredible.
Starting point is 00:15:40 Everything from salty to chocolate. I mean, it's unbelievable and it's so good for you. If you're dealing with cramping, if you're dealing with lightheadedness, you need your electrolytes and you need electrolytes without sugar. Electrolate deficiency and imbalances cause symptoms like headaches, cramps, fatigue, weakness. If you're feeling weak and not feeling your best, element is the answer for you. Athletes, when you are sweating, the primary electrolyte you lose is sodium. Athletes can lose up to seven grams per day.
Starting point is 00:16:14 When sodium isn't replaced, it's common to experience muscle cramps and fatigue. Who has time for that? You need to take care of your brain, your mental health. You need to take care of your body. And it's actually going to curb cravings for you. And so, so much more. Element is the answer to your health and to achieving your health goals. You can receive a free element sample pack with any order only when you order through drinklmn.t.com slash creating confidence. It's totally risk-free. If you don't like it, share it with a salty friend. And we'll give you your money back. No question.
Starting point is 00:16:51 asked. This is the answer. You can receive a free element sample pack with any order only when you order through drinklmnt.com slash creating confidence. There is no risk to you. You're welcome. Again, I'm just putting myself in your shoes and I'm thinking it would have been easy to go back to drugs. It would have been easy to go back to all these bad habits again because it wasn't that far away. How did you get through this period? Even worse, Heather, I didn't really have any thoughts of going back to that former life I had, I actually, you know, thought about ending my life. You know, suicide was very attempting to me at that point in my life, you know, because even though I, you know, football is a very violent sport, right? So I viewed it as a failure, but there's nothing
Starting point is 00:17:34 I could do, right? If you sign up and choose to play the game of football, you know, what could happen. I mean, we all saw what, even if you're not a football fan, you probably saw what happened in the Buffalo Bills player, you know, a couple weeks ago, having cardiac arrest on the field. It's a very violent sport. So even though I couldn't control that injury, I viewed it as a failure. You know, I viewed everything I put my parents through with the drug addiction. A lot of self-induced failures. You know, I admit that a lot of my hardships and struggles in life were self-induced.
Starting point is 00:18:04 I dealt with that injury by, you know, thinking that it would just be so easy and so attempting to just end it. To just get away from all this, you know, people that were already starting to chatter, the naysayers, like, what's he going to do now? You know, his NFL career was a failure. He was a bust. He never even, I started to think about all that stuff. And for me, my biggest blessing came, you know, three and a half weeks after that injury.
Starting point is 00:18:30 I met a man by the name of Stedman Graham, who is Oprah Winfrey's boyfriend for an eternity. Phenomenal human being. But I met him at a charity event a couple months prior. And we started having conversation and him learning about my story. And long story short, he was speaking at a leadership event. He knew I was injured. So he asked me to speak at that event. And for whatever reason, you know, I was terrified of public speaking.
Starting point is 00:18:53 I got a D in public speaking in college. I kid you not. I decided to do that event. For only 15 minutes, I spoke at that leadership event. And that was the event that really changed my life. So to answer your question, I think it was it was having the people around me. My parents were just unbelievable in that very dark period of when I got injured. But it was going through that pain and that.
Starting point is 00:19:14 that self-reflection and almost contemplating suicide and ending it all. And then finally getting that phone call from Stedman, which really prompted me to not go down that path, which I'm so incredibly thankful for now. It's like divine intervention. I mean, so incredible how this happened. All right. So how did you feel when you were speaking? Were you still the D student?
Starting point is 00:19:35 Or did you feel like you would step into something so much bigger? You know, I felt like I stepped into something so much bigger. But, I mean, I'd be lying if I told you that I gave the greatest speech. of my life. You know, I only spoke for 15 minutes and I really talked about, you know, what I learned from being an athlete, right? What I learned from the game of football. How does that relate to life? How does that relate to, you know, really everything that we want to do that really we want excellence out of from that period point of our life? So even though I spoke for 15 minutes, a moment that I remember very vividly was walking out of that gymnasium that night and sitting in my car, I had my walking boot on,
Starting point is 00:20:13 I was still injured, and I just broke down in tears because standing on that stage that night in front of those people with the lights on me, it wasn't really about me. It was about the energy and really euphoric moment that it created of sharing my story, my lessons, and then interacting with people after that moment of just speaking for 15 minutes about how something I said resonated with them, and they can relate that to being a father, being a mother, or being a business owner. it just provided so much joy in my life in a very dark period. Wow, I mean, that's definitely, that was the first day of the rest of your life in that new path.
Starting point is 00:20:51 And just to give you a little bit of insight that you might not have, Abraham Lincoln, I believe, was the person who said this originally. If you need me to speak for 60 minutes, I can go on now. If you need me to speak for 30 minutes, I need a couple of weeks. And if you need me to speak for 15, give me a couple of months to prepare. Speaking for a very short window of time like that and having some level of impact is one of the toughest things to do. So we hear that you did that in your first big speech and first time, you know, speaking on some of these new topics. And that's really, really impressive. So you should give yourself a pat on the back for that one.
Starting point is 00:21:28 You know, I try and I love that quote, by the way. But, you know, for me, like I said, it wasn't the best speech of my life. I don't even think it was good. But I think, you know, sharing it because it was such a vulnerable moment for me and I didn't really prepare. didn't know how to write a speech. I never even spoken in front of a group of people before my life. I think the way it was able to come off as far as vulnerability and transparency around kind of my journey and my learning lessons and kind of shortcomings, I think that's what resonated most. And it really, really impacted my life. So how did that one speech lead to everything that you're
Starting point is 00:22:00 doing now? Changed everything. So, you know, when you made the side comment of, you know, that was the rest of my life, that that started it. It was that moment that really changed. the trajectory of my life forever. It wasn't really the injury. I think everything kind of played into one another and every phase of my life, I think, kind of built on the other aspect. But for me, there was an executive in the audience and he approached me after that short 15-minute speech and said that he had a sales meeting coming up in a couple months and he wanted me to speak to his sales force at that meeting. And at this point, you know, I still had so much going on. So even though I felt great after that moment and giving that 15-minute speech, a part of me still wanted to get back to the game of
Starting point is 00:22:41 football. Other part of me didn't know when I was going to overcome my injury and when I was going to be completely healed. The other part of me was dealing with the naysayers and my agent telling me that I may never be able to play football again. For whatever reason, I told that gentleman that evening that I would do it. And I didn't think he was going to email me, but sure enough, a day later, he emailed me the details. I did that speech for free. That first speech I did for free. and that's really what started everything. It was a domino effect from there. I didn't have a website.
Starting point is 00:23:10 I didn't have a book to promote at the time. I had no idea what I was doing, but that one speech turned into two more speeches. Two more speeches turned into 10. And during that time frame, it just kind of took off from there. Guys, for everyone listening right now, I just want to highlight,
Starting point is 00:23:23 you cannot connect the dots looking forward, meaning Matt did not know the day that he was injured, that there was this great opportunity around the corner and that Oprah's boyfriend was going to call and put him on stage and that he was going to get offered his first speech and there was going to be a domino effect. You never know your whole entire life can change today in an instant for the better, just like Matt Taz, it just takes the fact that he showed up, the fact that you, yes, you were given the opportunity, but you showed up for it. And so many people would shrink back. This is your reminder today.
Starting point is 00:23:56 Do not shrink back, step into fear and allow that domino effect to occur. Okay. So now you're speaking. starting to get a handle on, all right, this is where I'm meant to be. You're really starting to lean into leadership. And what happens next? You wrote your first book. I wrote my first book, Winning Plays, which that came out in 2016. So the event that we're talking about, you know, that was back in 2000, gosh, was that 2010? Yeah, 2010. So about six years later, I, you know, my first book, Winning Plays came out. So in between that time frame, you know, as I mentioned, I didn't sign the $10 million, $20 million contract. So even though I fell in love with speaking, I couldn't just, you know, start my own business and say, hey, I'm going to travel the world speaking.
Starting point is 00:24:37 I had no idea what I was doing or which path to go. So what I did was, hey, this is something I'm passionate about, but I do need a steady income. I took a sales job, actually. Medical sales, no idea what I was doing. In one short year, I was the top running salesperson. But on the side, while I was building kind of that part of my life and gaining that income, I was still giving speeches, $500 here, giving this speech for free, doing whatever I could just to get my name out and continue that path. And about two and a half, you know, two and a half years after that,
Starting point is 00:25:08 I ended up quitting that sales job because the momentum, everything we're starting to pick up and then kind of everything else from there is kind of the rest is history. That's such an incredible story. I'm so proud of you. And now you have a new book out. Culture is the way how leaders at every level build an organization for speed, impact, and excellence. Why did you write this book? You know, I wrote this book because when I did first start speaking and even when I'm back when I had the sales job and still trying to maneuver around like am I going to go back being an NFL player like obviously that didn't happen right that wasn't in the cards for me that wasn't my journey and path forward but even when I knew that I wanted to speak from
Starting point is 00:25:45 that very first engagement with Stedman Graham and having the sales job also simultaneously I was more of what you would call a traditional motivational speaker right so I was sharing my story my my drug addiction overcoming that maybe some tools and strategies I did to you know create more self-confidence in my life. And like you were talking about just taking that first step. And even if you don't know what the rest of the journey is going to provide for you, like, how can you just take that first bold, courageous step, which really can write the rest of your journey for you just by doing that one simple action. And while doing that, what I've noticed, people always ask me, because now I spend predominantly most of my time in front of C-suite executives and senior leadership teams across the country. And then also
Starting point is 00:26:27 run a management consulting firm. People always ask me, how did you go down that path? Like, why not universities or high schools or, you know, other groups that need to hear your message? Because as I was speaking, what I realized is I would talk a lot about the similarities that the game of football and sports have and how they connect to business, right? As far as leadership and culture and really peak performance and excellence. And the business community just kind of gravitated towards that message. So my message as a speaker kind of, you know, it was an evolution. What started as first just motivating and inspiring, then it really came down to taking everything I learned in the game of football and packaging it in a way as to how can it relate to leaders.
Starting point is 00:27:08 And as time went on, one of the biggest, I guess you could say problem areas I ran into is a lot of these leaders at a lot of medium and large-sized organizations. Like, how do you build culture? Right. How do you build culture? How do you go about it? Every leader knows it's important. And I kept getting this question over and over and over again.
Starting point is 00:27:26 I would go give a speech. I would be, you know, executive coaching some leaders. I would be doing leadership meetings, you know, whatever it was. And this question would continually come up. So I decided to really go down this obsessive journey of looking at what I think are some of the best culture builders in the world, which is football coaches, specifically college football coaches, and then drawing the parallel to what do they have in common with the best leaders in the business world.
Starting point is 00:27:51 And it all comes down to building that great culture, defining that great culture, and then also making it front and center of really building a people first company and organization. And that's really what prompted me to write this book, Culture is the way. So let's get into your coach from Indiana, who I know has impacted you in such a big way. What was it that he did so differently? What did you learn from him? I mean, really everything. You know, when I say everything, I literally mean everything.
Starting point is 00:28:18 To put that in perspective for you, for example, like everything I know about leadership really came from that man. the vulnerability he really displayed almost every single day. His ability to build excitement and enthusiasm for really one of the worst football programs in the Big Ten. I mean, he got that whole university excited about, you know, the future that we were building. The future we were building was way bigger than what was happening or has happened in the past. His ability just to connect with people was extraordinary. And really, it came down to this. He humanized really every interaction that he had. And when I say that, he would always be so vulnerable and open and transparent about
Starting point is 00:28:57 his shortcomings and his failures. A lot of people want to talk about their successes. But what Terry Hepner did is he would always make fun of himself. He would always make fun of his shortcomings, his failures. And he would share in full transparency kind of just really every area of his life, all of his shortcomings and failures. And that really made his ability to connect with you at a human level, extraordinary. And then once he was able to connect, he was able to impact. And that's probably one of the biggest things I learned from him, the importance of every leader can communicate, but not every leader connects. And the ability to connect with other people is really what's going to determine your level to impact them. Starting the year with a wardrobe refresh, Quince has you covered
Starting point is 00:29:44 with Lux Essentials that feel effortless and look polished. They're perfect for layering, mixing, and building a wardrobe that lasts. Their versatile styles make it easy to reach for them day after day. Quince has all the staples covered, from soft Mongolian cashmere sweaters that feel like designer pieces without the markup to 100% silk tops and skirts for easy dressing up to perfectly cut denim for everyday wear. Their wardrobe essentials are crafted to last season after season. Their Italian wool coats are real standouts.
Starting point is 00:30:14 They're beautifully tailored, soft to the touch, and built to carry you through years of. of wear, not just one season. The quality shows in every detail, the stitching, the fit, the fabrics. Every piece is thoughtfully designed to be your new wardrobe essential. And like everything from quince, each piece is made from premium materials and ethical trusted factories that are priced far below what other luxury brands charge. I can't tell you how much I am loving my new cashmere sweater. It's a staple for sure, and I can't wait to give one to my best friend for her birthday this year. It is timeless, gorgeous, and the softest thing I've ever touched. Which
Starting point is 00:30:52 Quinn's pieces are you interested in? I mean, from the bags to the denim, to the sweaters, to the jackets, they're all incredible luxury high-end products without the high-end price. Refresh your wardrobe with Quince. Don't wait. Go to quince.com slash confidence for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash confidence to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash confidence. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than a rough patch, you don't need just another meditation app. Takiatry makes it easy to see a psychiatrist online using your insurance in days.
Starting point is 00:31:37 Takiatry is 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, insomnia, and more. Unlike therapy-only apps, tachiatry is psychiatry. That means you're seeing a medical provider who can diagnose mental health conditions and prescribe medication when it's appropriate. All their 600-plus clinicians are in network with major insurers so you can use your existing insurance instead of paying monthly subscriptions or out of network fees. You'll meet with an experience licensed psychiatrist
Starting point is 00:32:16 who takes the time to understand what's going on, build a personalized treatment plan, and can prescribe medication when it's right for you. Your care stays consistent and evidence-based. Head to tachiatry.com slash confidence and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's tachiatry.com slash confidence to get matched in minutes.
Starting point is 00:32:42 So often that I've seen in my time in corporate America, the majority of leaders want to appear flawless, always correct, and riding at a higher level than those around them, meaning they definitely didn't want to take on that. Okay, let me show you all my flaws. Right. Right. And I think, you know, also just building, you know, a lot of people like in the business world, right? Like, okay, you're employed here. So, you know, do your job. You know, what's expected of you. And, you know, always deliver for the customer. and that's that. And football, right? You come here to play football. You come here to do this. You have to perform on the field. But Terry Hepner had this idea of, you know, you may be a football player here, but you also have another part of you. You're also a young man that's coming into this football program that I'm responsible for shaping you as a young man for when you don't play the game of football anymore. How are you going to contribute to society? And I learned that important aspect of really building up the whole person rather than just, you know, if you're in the business
Starting point is 00:33:43 world, right, coming here doing this job. I mean, I think leaders have a tremendous responsibility to build all of the people within their organizations and to becoming better versions of themselves, not just at work, but also paying attention to what's important to them outside of work. What that does for just the culture and the work environment is extraordinary. And I learned that directly from that man, Terry Hepner. He sounds like an incredible leader. All right, for the people listening right now that are saying, I work in one of these not so great environments, how can someone who's not in the ultimate position of power impact culture? Yeah, you know, that's a phenomenal question. Honestly, probably one of the more important, you know, I would say routine questions I get
Starting point is 00:34:21 all the time because, you know, you have a lot of leaders where I think one of the biggest mistake is they may say culture is important, but then their actions prove otherwise, right? So they may say trust is a huge component of their culture, but then they're the most non-trustworthy person. you can ever think of. So I think that they always, but those leaders always do this, but I have an open door policy. Exactly. Right, which, you know, that's so true. But I think if you're not in a leadership position, one of the most important things and
Starting point is 00:34:51 valuable things that I think you can do, for example, I think just sharing best practices. You know, like I know, I can think one company off the top of my head, for example, where a direct manager was one of the worst culture builders, didn't believe in culture. I mean, they did all the things that they were supposed to do. They talked about, hey, culture's important. It matters to us. But they were not living that with their daily actions. But because of one of this manager's direct reports actually read a book,
Starting point is 00:35:16 and I think it was on authentic or vulnerable leadership or whatever that was. And there was a part of the book and the importance of creating culture and what that looks like and what it entails. That direct report just kind of in a nonchalant way gave that book to that manager. And obviously it was the right time with the right book and the right moment. but, you know, sharing that best practice of what this direct report read and how it really transformed their thinking by passing it onto their manager in a very nonchalant way. He's saying, you know, hey, Sue, you don't do anything that's in this book. You have to read this.
Starting point is 00:35:49 But more of like, hey, Sue, this book really piqued my interest. I think you would find some valuable insights in this book. I think sharing best practices, right, doing something like that. And also speaking up, you know, I think a lot of people who are not in leadership positions, one of the biggest things that can really hinder their career is in a one-on-one meeting or whatever that circumstance is, I think is speaking up to what's important to you, what's bothering you. A lot of direct reports don't want to, they don't want to go to the manager or leader that they report to and talk about what's important to them.
Starting point is 00:36:20 They think, how is my boss going to perceive me? How am I going to be thought of? I'm not going to get the promotion. But at the end of the day, your leader or your manager is not a mind reader. So if you're not speaking up, right, about what's important to you, what matters. to you, the development and coaching that you're not getting. I've seen that move mountains. That's such a good point. How do you work with teams that are struggling to change and evolve? What's some of the advice that you give cultures that aren't innovating and adapting?
Starting point is 00:36:47 Yeah, you know, one of the very first things I do, you know, so outside of giving anywhere between 50 to 70 keynote speeches a year, you know, running the management consulting piece, you know, side of my business where it's actually going into a lot of medium to large size entities and actually going and walking side by side with them in the trenches of full blown out cultural transformations. And one of the very first areas we work at is really defining the culture, right? And what I mean by that is if you ask, let's say, 20 employees that work at the same company, what is your culture here? You're going to get 20 different responses nine times out of 10, right? But great cultures, right? Whether we're talking about sports or in business, you can ask
Starting point is 00:37:26 them, what is your culture here? And they'll be able to tell you the expectations of their culture, what's required when they go to work every single day, and the bigger purpose and mission they serve for their customers and their clients and their shareholders. So that very first part is defining their culture internally, but also externally, right? Because a lot of people think culture is unlimited vacation time, wearing shorts to work, getting off on Fridays, having sleep pods on every floor of the company's headquarters. That's not culture. Right. Culture is truly behavior at scale. So it's defining what that culture is for that organization. That's really one of the very first areas that we work at, really for the first whole six months with that senior leadership team. So once you've had that meeting and you're seeing that, you know, their goals are to start changing. How do you work with people around change management?
Starting point is 00:38:17 You know, that very first area is really putting it, you know, not just having those values and core values of what you think are the pillars of your organization, but actually turning those values. into repeated daily behaviors. One of the biggest areas as to why I think it's 70% of all change efforts fail, right? 70% of all transformations change efforts fail. That's the great research from John Cotter at Harvard University. And I believe part of that reason is because, you know, there's too much focusing on this is our value or this is what we're all about. But then it's not taking, okay, to make this change effort or this innovation or whatever
Starting point is 00:38:54 we're looking to change or transform within the. organization, they're not taking that and distilling it down to daily behaviors. I mean, at the end of the day, whether you're trying to change your life personally or you're trying to do something from an organization standpoint and you've got 50,000 employees, right? It all comes down to not even that goal or that vision you have or that new innovation or that new product or service. It comes down to the daily behaviors, focusing on the process of what has to shift from
Starting point is 00:39:21 the old behaviors to what new behaviors have to be elevated and promoted at every chance you get. So for me, that's really what I work with with the senior leadership teams as far as change management and really changing anything from a large cultural transformation perspective, is focusing on those daily repeated behaviors that we need to come to life and then measuring it, promoting on that, coaching on that, having IDPs around those behaviors. And it's really the focus of everything that we do, really for the full 12 months. So who did you write this book for? I wrote this book in particular for, I would say, any senior leader, any C-suite executive or people manager that has direct reports or even aspiring managers that one day have the ambition of becoming a leader or rising to the top and having that full autonomy to make the decisions to lead an organization to greater heights. This book isn't to say that it's just for executives and people managers.
Starting point is 00:40:16 This also is written with the mind of if you don't have the control of changing culture, I think it's always going to benefit your career. to learn about what is organizational culture. Why is it so important moving forward to the future? And also, how can I contribute to it? Because back to your point, Heather, that you mentioned, even if you don't have the decision-making capability to change culture or do something from an organizational standpoint, I mean, don't you still want to go to work every day
Starting point is 00:40:42 going to an environment that you thoroughly enjoy and working with people that you enjoy? You're going to get a resounding yes. So, I mean, my belief is, yes, if you're an executive or a people manager, absolutely. You have to know how to build culture. What is culture? How do we build that and tailor that to our organization? But even if you're not, you know, you're going to want to still be able to contribute to make your team or your environment more better and healthier than it was in the past. Oh, it's so good. And your title does not
Starting point is 00:41:08 dictate if you are a leader or not. You do not need a title to be a leader ever. How does everybody find culture is the way and how do they find you? Wherever books are sold, it comes out February first. So Amazon, Barnes & Noble, you know, wherever you purchase your books. So that releases on February 1st. And the best place to find me is probably my website, Matt Mayberryonline.com. And then I'm on all the social media platforms as well, primarily Twitter and Instagram. You know, unlike you, who's very active on social media and has a set routine, I do need to continue to get better at that. My team always gives me problems that I'm not active enough in making that a priority. But those are the areas where you can find me and engage with me. Matt, thank you.
Starting point is 00:41:49 so much for the work you're doing. Thank you for sharing your amazing story and inspiring us today. Guys, until next week, keep creating your confidence. I'll see you then.

There aren't comments yet for this episode. Click on any sentence in the transcript to leave a comment.