Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #316: Making The Impossible, POSSIBLE With Heather!

Episode Date: April 26, 2023

Have you been wanting to work with Heather? Her annual elite mastermind is open NOW!   She is only accepting 20 participants this year! Click the link below to learn more and apply now if you are ready to go to the next level!  https://bit.ly/hm-cc-mastermind  In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Recognizing & breaking down your BIGGEST barriers   What it takes to push through self doubt or failure   Finding NEW, innovative ways to reach success  Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Visit Indeed.com/monahan to start hiring now Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/monahan Go to 4Patriots.com and use code CONFIDENCE to get 10% off Show Notes:  You never know HOW you will accomplish your future goals. What’s impossible today may be possible tomorrow! Don’t hold yourself back just because of a block in the road; you can overcome ANYTHING. I’ve been focusing on breaking through my perceived blocks and barriers in order to transform what I know is possible for my life, it’s been quite the game changer! Remember, there is nobody else like you, so step into your POWER, and don’t allow life’s barriers to hold you back. 

Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, so I've gotten some good feedback when I share with you a little bit about what happens on my Sunday trips to church. So I was at church earlier today, and I love, first of all, I love Voo Church. It's incredible. You can totally check it out online.

Our pastor, Rich Wilkerson Jr.'s incredible, super relevant, funny, cool. It's not lame. I'm just going to put it out there. Okay, it's not lame. It's always uplifting and a great message. And today was really interesting for a couple of different reasons. Our pastor shared two different examples or two different stories. that I guess I had heard years ago and completely forgot about.

So I wanted to share them with you if they've been off your radar or if you never heard of them and how relevant they can be to your life. Okay. So the first one is the story of Roger Bannister, who has a legacy in the running world and the runner's world of breaking the four-minute mile. Now, if you're not a runner, you're like, what's the big deal? Okay, breaking a four-minute miles, ridiculous. It's insane. I'm like, I can't even, I'm a runner.

And I just, I mean, if I hit a seven minute, my, I'm happy. Six and change. And it's like, you know, I'm killing the world. I'm literally, oh my gosh, I'm in the best shape ever. So the fact that someone could, you know, no one was able to break this barrier. That's the whole point is that this big number, this big four minute number, became a thing mentally for people and no one could break it. So I was Googling the story around Roger Bannister, found a couple of different articles.

and I just pulled one up from Harvard Business Review, and I just wanted to read a little bit about this story to you to see how it relates to your life. I definitely see how it relates to mine. I'm sure you're going to think about how it relates to you. Okay, so the beginning of this article, again, Harvard Business Review, the story about Roger Bannister, they're talking about how he had passed, and he was the first human being to run a four-minute mile,

and how big his legacy is, not just as one of the greatest athletes in the past, century, but as an innovator, a change agent, and an icon of success. As it turns out, when he broke through a previously unbreakable track and field barrier, he taught all of us what it takes to break new ground. And truly, from what my pastor said today, within the next year after he broke that record, five other people were able to break the same record. That says so much about the power of watching someone else do something and then realizing it's actually possible for you. So interesting, we talk about this all the time. If you're not going to do it for yourself today, do it for those people coming after you.

Show them what is possible, which is exactly what this man did. Okay, most people know the basic story of Roger Bannister. In 1954, he busted the four-minute barrier with the time of three minutes and 59 seconds. But he talks about there's always a behind story behind every major story and the lessons for leaders who want to break through their own barriers, whether that be mental or physical or otherwise. Bryant reminds us that runners have been chasing this goal for forever, and that the challenge involved the most brilliant coaches and most gifted athletes, and still no one could do it. For years, people were striving to beat this time, but no one could beat it.

It had become as much a psychological barrier as a physical one. And like an unconquerable mountain, the closer it was approached, the more daunting it seemed. So, of course, so many people at that point in time would say it's not possible, right? You try and, you know, the best and the best and the best and brightest coaches are all trying and working towards it and no one can crack this. I'm sure plenty of people are saying it's just impossible. It's just not going to happen. But it just hasn't been done yet. And that's the key is to remember no matter what it is, and there's so many examples in my life I can use of this, it just hasn't happened yet, right?

We can't forecast the future. We don't know what trick or hack or good night. sleep might change everything for us. It's why you can't accept others' barriers or others' limitations. You have to continue just to break through them for yourself because you don't know what's possible yet because what's possible today is going to be totally different than what's possible tomorrow, just from the information that you access. Or like I said, or the good night's sleep could be the game changer. That's typically the game changer for me, by the way. Okay, this was the Holy Grail of athletic achievement. It's fascinating to read about the pressure, the crowds, the media,

how intense this was such a big deal. And also the fact that this guy was an outlier and an icon, he was a full-time student who had little use for coaches. He devised his own system to prepare for the race. And the British press constantly ran stories criticizing him for his lone wolf approach, which people would say not to take on, right? So he did it differently and people gave him a hard time for that. Does that sound familiar in your life when you try to do something differently and people tell you it's never going to work? So the four-minute barrier stood for decades, and when it fell, people had never predicted that this man would be the one to break it. Experts believe they knew the precise conditions in which it would fall, and they were wrong, right? It wasn't the weather.

It wasn't the strategy. It wasn't the kind of day at the track. It wasn't the actual ground that people were running on. Everything was contradictory to what all of these so-called strategists had planned for. But Bannister did it anyway. He broke the mark. Even his most ardent rivals breathed a sigh relief. At last, somebody had finally done it. And once they saw it could be done, they did it too. Just 46 days after Bannister's beat, John Landy, an Australian runner, not only broke the barrier again, but this time he beat Bannister's time. Then, within a year later, three other runners broke the four-minute barrier in a single race. Oh my gosh, altogether. That's incredible. Over the last half century, more than a thousand runners have conquered that barrier. that had once been considered hopelessly out of reach. What an interesting example into the human psyche and what it shows and why it's so important that whatever you are passionate about,

whatever talent and skill you have and whatever weird and unique way you want to approach it, don't let others talk you out of it just because it's not right for them, just because it doesn't work for them. And just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean it's not going to happen for you today, tomorrow, or the next day. Okay. So in fact, two Wharton School professors analyze the lessons for business of the four-minute mile in their book, The Power of Impossible Thinking, and they emphasize that mindset is the bigger deal rather than the physical accomplishment. How is it, they wonder, that so many runners smash the four-minute barrier after Bannister became the first to do it? Was there a sudden growth spurt in human evolution? No.

Was there a genetic engineering experiment? No. What changed was the mental model? It always goes back to mindset. It's so wild. The runners of the past have been held back by the mindset that they could not surpass a four-minute mile because it simply wasn't possible. When that limit was broken and others saw suddenly what had been impossible was now suddenly possible. The thinking, the strategy, the competition, the leadership emphasizes no matter what it is,

revenues, costs, niches, leverage, innovation, all of those are mental models that allow organizations and their leaders to try not just to do what everybody else can do, but to do what they believe is possible and not give up and find new and, ways to approach it and tune out the naysayers because just because it wasn't possible for someone else does not mean it's not possible for you. And that's how you transform what is possible in

your life, in the world, and for everyone else. So I just, I love, it's such an important story about one's man commitment to break through what blocks and barriers were put in place and seen as impossible for everyone. And the fact that once he did it, so many, ultimately thousands of others were able to. So what can you do today and tomorrow to break through what has previously been called impossible so that you can change the world for everybody else? That is pretty flippant exciting and I can't wait to hear about it. So let me know for sure. When you want more, start your business with Northwest registered agent and get access to thousands of free guides, tools, and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business.

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Go to quince.com slash confidence for free shipping on your order. and 365 day returns, now available in Canada, too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash confidence to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash confidence. So that was one of the stories that I was really inspired by today. I thought it was so cool to hear about that. And I had heard about it years ago, but I forgot about it, I guess, along the way somewhere. I had heard about it when I was younger and running.

And, you know, just that idea of what is possible today is not going to be what's possible tomorrow. That can always and forever be evolving and changing and should be involving and changing by the people that we're exposed to, the training that we have, the knowledge that we have, and most importantly, the mindset that we're currently carrying. So check your mindset today. It is more important than you realize. Okay, the next story that he shared that was really cool, and I'm not doing it any service. I mean, this was literally, it was almost a two-hour service. so I'm trying to give you the abbreviated version because I'm sure you're probably on your way to work. You're out for a walk.

We've got to get all this knowledge in. Keep it going. So I'm going to try to keep it fast pace for you. But this was a really good. Another, really back to mindset, the flea experiment. And I hadn't heard about this in forever. But let me give you a quick synopsis. I googled it in the top article came up was from LinkedIn from Brandon Alexander.

So I'll read a bit from his article. if you put fleas in an open, transparent jar, so this is what my pastor was talking about today, you put fleas in this research study into a clear glass jar, right? They can jump so high and they can jump right out of the jar, right? But then, if you put a clear lid on the jar, the fleas that had that same crazy tendency to jump so high and get right out of there, they bump their head on the lid, obviously, right? So after a while, the fleas, they're conditioned to the presence of the lid, the clear lid. begin jumping slightly below the lid to avoid hitting it. So they're trying to avoid pain, right, which makes sense. I get it. Not into hurting myself if I don't need to. So it's a smart way to adapt to a situation to avoid the pain, right? And so they stop jumping as high as they used to.

So now the fleas are still jumping, but they're not going anywhere near to the top because they want to make sure they don't hit the top. Later on, the researchers remove the clear lid. guess what happens then? The fleas don't recognize that that barrier has been removed and that there's a whole world for them to jump into outside of that little glass jar. So they continue to jump at that low level and just wait within that glass jar. So the top has been removed. The fleas are allowed to leave the building. And the fleas do not because they have been conditioned to this new response and they stay in this routine or in our world like comfortable environment that they know. basically putting themselves in a prison that they can't escape because their minds have put that top on the jar, even though the top no longer exists. This is crazy. I actually want to see this in real life because I feel like the visual would be so powerful. So again, they're just not jumping a higher because they believe the lid is present or they're just conditioned to jumping at that level and they don't challenge it anymore. They're not challenging their own way of thinking or their

own belief systems or their own reality or their own paradigm or their own vision, right? What about us? Are we challenging those things on the day to day? Again, the fleas got into a comfort zone. The lid was on and they just backed off and stayed where they were. They never tried to go beyond it. However, if a flea that was not previously in that glass jar is added into the glass jar, then suddenly that flee will go for the major jump to get the heck out and we'll make it out because there's no longer a top, right? He'll jump right out because he doesn't know the limitations. He doesn't know these new rules or that there could be a lid. He just knows, but he should go for it to get the heck out of there and he's able to. Then the other fleas will follow the example and jump

out of the jar because there was one ahead of them that showed them there were no limitations. So it's just, yet again, it's similar to the Bannister example when we talk about introducing that flea that had not been in the glass jar with the top on it. When someone shows you what is possible, it is so much easier to follow and emulate, right? And so much more challenging for all of us mentally to believe something like new and different and huge is possible for us when nobody else has been able to do it previously. So just very, very interesting examples today that I thought were so relevant. Oh gosh, for me and my business, I remember when I was back in corporate America, I saw a very

obvious need at the company that I was working in my late 20s. I saw an obvious need for a VP of sales in the company, and they did not have one. And the C-suite executives at that point in time were exclusively family members of the founder. And everyone would tell me that my idea, well, it might be good was never going to get approved because I wasn't a family member. And I listened to everybody, I listened to them. And I went home and thought, well, that's the stupidest thing I ever heard. If I can drive revenue, make the shareholders more money, why wouldn't the family members want to look like all-stars to create more wealth for themselves and for their shareholders? Of course they would. The right person hasn't pitched this yet. That's how I saw it, right?

And I just, I couldn't, I shook off the negative feedback that I received from every person that I shared my idea with. I went and met with the president of the company and I gave him my idea. That idea was declined only to find out it's because I was not asking the ultimate decision maker. Always qualify the person you're pitching and make sure that if you give them the best idea in the world that's going to make them millions of dollars that they can say yes and that they don't need anyone else's approval. That should have been my first question at that meeting and it wasn't. Anyhow, I ended up going back a few weeks after my initial meeting and I was letting the president the company know I was going to quit and go work somewhere else. And when he said, hang on, I'm

going to go, you know, make a phone call, I'll be right back. He called his father, the CEO, told the father my idea. The father said, this is a great idea. Yeah, let's do it. And immediately, I was promoted to VP of sales. So many people were shocked by that. I was not shocked. I'm like, it was a great idea that could make these people wealthier, make their shareholders wealthier, make them look like all-stars. It was just that the right person hadn't presented it yet. So I share that example as my own real life, one real life example, you know, everyone's going to tell you what limitations are there for them. Everyone's going to tell you why it can't work. You know, that's, it's always going to be easier to criticize than it is to create.

Just fact, right? It's lazier. Anyone can sit around to be the Monday morning quarterback, but to actually be the one training and getting into the game Sunday night, that's a heck of a lot scarier. There's a lot more on the line. There's nothing on the line Monday morning. And that's sort of the way that I see it with these people that will give you all of their limitations, all of their negative self-doubt and all their nacing. You've got to just hand it back to them, smile and move forward with your own plan. And maybe even in the future, don't even let them know what you're working on.

Sarah Blakely's huge into this. She kept her idea for Spanx a secret for almost two years because she didn't want to let any negative thoughts get into her head. She wanted her mindset clear. she wanted to focus on what was possible for her, and she wanted to focus on the outcome she was working toward. So just a little reminder, just because it hasn't been done yet, doesn't mean it's not possible for you, and doesn't mean it's not possible for you to make happen today or tomorrow. That is up to you and to your mindset, but don't let that glass lid jar that is no longer there be the thing holding you back. Maybe it was at one point in time. Maybe there was a lid there,

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And when he used the example, whether it be of the runner Roger Bannister or the flea example at the lid, he was talking more about how people might. isolate themselves. So say you get hurt in a relationship, maybe by your boss, a partner at work, maybe a loved one, you know, that you want to cut that person off, you want to penalize that person, hurt that person, and then you want to isolate yourself because you don't want that to happen again to you. And that was where he used the example of the fleas in the jar. You know, instead, his approach was, you know, turn it over to God, always forgive, lead with forgiveness, lead with an open heart. What would Jesus do? and realize, you know, all these things happened to Jesus.

He was betrayed by family, friends, and foes beyond what any of us could ever imagine when he needed help so much. And this is when he begged his father to forgive others. They know not what they do when he was going through the process of being nailed to the cross. So again, his message today was around forgiveness. His message today was around, yes, around mindset and what is possible is always changing and, you know, a really uplifting message. But really to look at your life, look at your relationships and understand you have that power to forgive because God's given you that power. And you can always turn it over to God, let go and let God.

And it can be scary and it can feel unnerving. But the answer is always going to be in forgiveness. And gosh, every time I am at church and hear a message about forgiveness, there's always someone knew that pops into my mind that I could forgive. I'm sure if you think right now there's somebody in your life that you can forgive. And maybe you don't want to call them or write them a letter, but maybe you can just pray about it and release that upset and anger from your heart. Not only are you going to release that person, more importantly, you're going to release

yourself. And that's a really beautiful thing. and it just touched me so much today. It was such a great point, and also to the point of isolating yourself, thinking you're penalizing others is only hurting you. So rip the band-aid off, go for forgiveness, go for apology,

go for understanding that there, but for the grace of God, go I. Thank goodness, maybe you haven't done what this person did to you, but you can find it within your heart and within God's love to forgive them. And I just thought it was such a beautiful message today. Such a great day, church. Okay, so, and again, that's Voo Church.

You can check them out online. You will love them. But I'll give you updates occasionally for sure. So one other thing I want to talk about for I let you go today is I have a couple of different one-on-one coaching clients that I work with. And it was really interesting to me this week because two of them are dealing with very similar things. They don't know it. I don't share stories from one client to another. But it's interesting because we all know what it's like when things are going awful, right?

And when you're in it, like when you're in the fish bowl and everything stinks, you're not feeling well. Like the stress is so bad. You feel like there's no solution. You don't know how to turn everything around. It feels so daunting and like it's never going to change. However, the reality is when you're not in the fishbowl, you can see it so clearly. Oh, this is temporary. This two shall pass.

This is a moment in time. And it's actually setting you up for some major pivot to take off and to go for so much more and take a new trajectory. And another thing they talked about today at church, when you release. something negative, you're able to start receiving something positive. So, you know, moving through that transitionary period is allowing you to release something that hasn't been working for you so you can start receiving something that will. And it's so clear to others when we watch others go through that. And I know firsthand, it is so hard when you're in it, it feels awful. And I'll tell you, gosh, I'm 48 years old. I've gone through so many hardships in my life. And still, when my feelings are

heard, where I'm let down by somebody or disappointed by a situation, I too go into that negative Nelly, you know, oh, this is awful and when will things ever get better? Right. Like, it's almost this, what was I'm going to say, learned experience that that's how we respond to things. But, you know, for a long time in your life, you might have responded that way. And you can lift your head up and say, okay, I'm not going to do that anymore. But it takes some work, right? Like, it doesn't just happen miraculously overnight. You have to work on yourself and constantly evolve yourself and constantly remind yourself. So it was easy for me. me to look at both of these clients and explain to them, listen, I get what it's like, but this is a moment in time. This is not going to stay that way. And there are things we can do, right?

So the first thing to do in these situations that look at, what are the things that we actually can control, right? So one of my clients is, quote unquote, being taken advantage of by an employer, which again, we're teaching people how to treat us. So we have to create boundaries, ask for what we want. And it's never to wait to go back and redefine that relationship. Right. You can go back to someone and say, I really have appreciated working with you. However, working for you has been incredibly demanding for me and is taking up far too much of my time and the ROI is not there for me or my business. So at this point in time, I'm going to shake hands and part friends and wish you the best. I've got a couple of names of people I can suggest for you to work with, but I can't any longer

work in this capacity with you. Right? You can fire your clients. You can fire people from your life in a kind and loving way in a non-herful way because it no longer is serving or benefiting you. That's okay. You can always redefine those things as long as you communicate with people in a kind way. And then there's some situations you have no control over, right? Like your health and you need to pray that you're going to get better and you know that you've got to remove negative people and negative situations from your life. So you can sleep and can take care of yourself. You need to have faith that things are going to get better. And if you're going through a transitionary period, you know, pray and ask for those things that you need and do the things

that help you to feel better. For me, that's always going outside, running, being with loved ones, having fun and exciting things to look forward to, praising and appreciating all the blessings in my life, focusing on gratitude day in and day out. And the more we do those things, the more we bring those good things back to us, right? So it's easy to get that mental trap up. Nothing's working for me. And here's why everything sucks and here's why I want to cry in my soup. And again, I get it. I've been there. Sure, I'll be there again. Right. That's okay. It's just the key is don't stay there long, right? And there are things you can do and figure out what are your go-to things. I remember I was going through a really bad time years ago and pressure at work. And I was, you know, had just gone

through a divorce and I had a one-year-old and the recession it and was just like, woo, hollay, here come the punches. Let's see how we handle them. And I know I'm always getting back up, but getting back up isn't always easy in those situations. And so I took a post-it note and I wrote breathe, drink water, go for a run, go outside, be grateful for your health. I think it was like something like that. It was so basic. It was just a few things. And I would focus on those things when I really started getting down. And just focusing on those simple little things would help me get through those really bad rough patches, where now I have a lot more that I can focus on. And I've developed an arsenal of different things that I know are triggers I can

pull that will help me out of difficult situations. But again, you're still going to fall into them. You're not immune. Give yourself that grace. That that's okay. And one of my clients became emotional on a meeting with me the other day and thank me after for letting her do that. And I thought to myself, here's something I don't want you to forget. When you are in a position to help other people, when you, and we are all in that position at any given day, whether you're opening a door for an elderly person or helping a young child tie their shoe, it doesn't matter to what level you're helping. Anytime you're assisting or helping another human, you know how good you feel?

That's a gift to the other person. And I was grateful that that woman had the vulnerability to open up to me and give me the gift of helping her. Give me the gift of listening and supporting her. Right. So don't deny other people those gifts. People, 90% of people, or 99% of people, they want to help. They want to do good. And we've all suffered.

We've all gone through it. We all know how hard it can be. So many of us out there are cheering you on, wanting to support you and wanting to see you in and knowing you will. So start focusing on what you can be grateful for, focus on the things that you love to do that bring you joy, start redefining those relationships and situations with boundaries that are not benefiting you, revisit them and change them. It is never too late. Any moment you can redefine those things and figure out what's working for you, what's not, and start defining the life that's going to be the one that works for you, 90% of the time, brings you joy that you get fired up and excited about and stay focused on that. that outcome that you want to pursue. Okay, if you haven't heard yet, I have, I believe we have six spots left in my mastermind. I'm so excited. This is who I am riding and running with for one year. Literally, like, this is my team. If you want to work with me in person, in real time, and on Zoom, this is the only way to do it this year. I'm so excited. It takes me back to that

Roger Bannister, right? Until that guy broke that four-minute mile, other people didn't know was possible. I feel blessed that I was able to make it into the C-suite, that I was able to launch a successful speaking career when everyone told me it was too late that I was able to launch a top 20 business podcast. All these things that I've been able to do, it took me five years to pull this stuff together and figure out. I'm going to give everybody my keys the minute we start meeting. Ask me anything, you got it all. My whole commitment is to get everybody to that next level. And the people we have on this team are incredible. I'm so motivated to work with them. I've inspired to work with them, and everybody will be learning from everyone else that's on the team.

And who doesn't want to be a part of a great team? I sure know. I need that support. I need that encouragement, and I need that accountability too. So I am so excited to kick this mastermind off. If you haven't seen yet, go click in the show notes below, and you can apply there, and someone on my team will get a hold of you within 24 to 48 hours. You can have a discussion and find out if it's a right fit for you. If not now, when, if not this, then what?

But do it, whatever it is for you to push yourself to that next level, to go for all of those possibilities and opportunities for you, that God plans for you, that are meant for you. They're out there. You just need to go, go after them. I'm going after them, and I hope you are too. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be.