Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #317: How To STOP Struggling & Just DO IT With David Nurse NBA Coach & Motivational Speaker

Episode Date: May 2, 2023

Get a free LMNT Sample Pack with any order only when you order through DrinkLMNT.com/CreatingConfidence Have you been wanting to work with Heather? Her annual elite mastermind is open NOW!   She is only accepting 20 participants this year! Click the link below to learn more and apply now if you are ready to go to the next level! https://bit.ly/hm-cc-mastermind  In This Episode You Will Learn About:  The key to mastering attention & energy management   How to stay on the track so you can reach your goals     Tapping into your power to change your life forever The 9 action archetypes you NEED to know  Resources: Website: www.davidnurse.com  Read Do It: The Life-Changing Power of Taking Action  Listen to The David Nurse Show Instagram & Twitter & Youtube: @davidnursenba Facebook: @David Nurse Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Go to 4Patriots.com and use code CONFIDENCE to get 10% off Show Notes:  Do you know how to get from where you are today to where you want to be in life!? David Nurse is an NBA coach and motivational speaker changing the way people dominate their lives and accomplish their goals. He’ll help us let go of what’s holding us back from taking action in our lives! Plus I’ll share the eye opening experience I had that transformed the way I take action in my own life! Trust me, it’s time to STOP thinking about the worse-case-scenario and start moving towards your goals today.  About The Guest: The incredible author and speaker David Nurse is back for another episode that will elevate and inspire you like nothing else! David is an NBA coach as well as a best selling author and world wide motivational speaker. David has personally helped over 100 NBA players with their development on and off the court, and he’s here to help you get into the zone and master your mindset!  If You Liked This Episode You Might Also Like These Episodes: The Breakthrough Formula You NEED To Reach Success! With Life Optimization Coach David Nurse  Do These EASY Steps to Get Unstuck, Pivot, and GO with the NBA Mindset Strategist David Nurse  This Is A Sign To TRUST Your Instincts, With Heather!

It's not time management. It's attention and energy management. Like Elon Musk, he has the same amount of hours as we all do, but he gets a ton more done. Now I'm not saying go work 140 hours a week, but it's the focus that you have on your vision and not allowing things that are going to take you away from that. Like, what if I have kids? I can't do it. I have kids. You can always find an excuse if you want to find an excuse. But you can always stay on your vision if you want to stay on your vision. I'm on this journey with me.

Each week when you join me, you're going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so excited for you to be here with me this week. It is so rare on this show that we bring people back for multiple,

episodes. However, this champion today, not only is he a personal friend of mine, but he is an incredible author, speaker, and an amazing person that is going to inspire and elevate you in ways you can't imagine. If you don't already know David Nurse, let me break it down for you. He's an NBA light and optimization coach. Future bestselling author, well, he already is a best selling author. And worldwide motivational speaker, this guy brings the heat, literally. As a former professional basketball player, both international and domestic, and coach for the Brooklyn Nets. Oh, I'm not going to hold that against you. David has personally helped over 100 NBA players with their development on court and with their lives off the court, equally as important.

He has been brought in to speak in 51 different countries on the topics of overall personal development, confidence building, leadership, and motivational growth. David resides in Marina Delray, California, and is married to the love of his life, the stunning actress, Taylor, Tulupa, who is incredible and you guys have the best relationship, hashtag relationship goals. David, thank you so much for being here. I think you're the best. Seriously, thank you for having me on. And it's just, whenever I know I get to talk to you and just, I mean, using this as an excuse to be able to be blessed to come on your podcast, this just lights me up.

You have a, yeah, you need to be my personal hype man slash agent for everything I do. So I would love to sign you to that contract someday. Guys, if you haven't listened to the earlier episodes with David, you got to check them out. They're so good and I will make sure to put them in the show notes below. But the funny thing was the first time I met you, I didn't know you. You were a guest on the show. I don't even remember how we got connected. And I was not in a good mood.

And I typically like 99% of the time I'm always in a great mood. But something must have happened. I was having a bad day. You know, like, hey, people struggle is real. We all know it. And I remember thinking, I don't want to do a podcast right now. flip the thing on, there you are. And I said, listen, I'm not having the greatest day. And you were like, then don't worry about it. I got you. And you totally brought the heat that day. Put me in the best

mood. I got so many compliments off that episode. So right back at you. I love that you bring your energy to everything that you do. And I'm so excited that you have a new book coming out and we get to dive into it today. Tell me about it. Come on. Let's do it. Let's show people how to take action in their life, how to go from where they are today to where they desire to be in the future. And that gap is taking action. But there's a lot of things holding people back. So let's dive into it, Heather. And you know what? You know what we need to take action on this year? This is the year. You are officially at number one of my best friends who I have yet to hang out with in person. How the heck is that happening? How? It's so we met during COVID and we still, when

I've met so many of your friends in real life, however, that you've connected me to, that you've introduced me to, and yet you and I still have not met. It's so wrong. We'll take action on it this year. It'll happen. It's happening. Putting it out there. All right, well, one of the things that's really interesting, and you and I were talking about this offline, obviously, I love your book, but this is literally my favorite book that you've ever written, do it, the life-changing power of taking action. For a couple of different reasons. One, I'm a firm believer in take messy action, just get out there and try, do, and most people do not think that way. So if you're listening right now and you struggle with taking action, this episode is for you. Buckle up and get ready. We're going to go over some

tactics to help you do that. And we're also going to talk about what I love that you do in the book. You bring a lot of research and science in, which is so needed, David. And I know your career, the people that you run with the professional athletes, like you're running at this high level. So you've been able to not only see in real life what works and what elevates people, but now you're also diving into the research. Where did that piece come from? Yeah. You know what?

Thank you for that compliment. And it really just came from the, like, I want to be able to give people actual, I mean, just how the brain's really working instead of just saying, hey, here's how I've seen it. Hey, here's how it's been done. Here's how it's worked for me. Because not everybody can resonate on the same level. Not everybody learns on the same level. But when you understand what's really going on neurologically in your brain of, for example, like if you have a scarcity mindset, which is one of the scarcity, this is one of the action archetypes, which we'll dive into, it lowers your IQ. Your brain literally lowers your IQ by maximum of 14 points, which can take you from proficient to inefficient, just right there alone. So the understanding of these studies that have been done or like a study on worst case scenario thinking, people hold themselves back because,

Ultimately of fear, I mean, that is the reason why people don't take action. They're in fear of what the results will be. They're in fear of what if they will fail. Fear comes in a lot of different ways. The fear of the uncertain, of the unknown. So the worst case scenario thinking, there's a study on this, that 92.28% of worst case scenario thoughts do not come true. And people that spend of these people that Lafraean and Newman studied in this study,

they spend 25% one-fourth of their waking day worrying about the worst-case scenario thoughts that won't come true. So that's just kind of a little teaser on how important it is to understand why our brain is working the way it is, but then also why our heart is working the way it is. Our heart wants to keep us safe. This is our feelings. And when we step into a situation and you automatically feel uncomfortable, you're more likely to just, you know, kind of just hide in your little Shell instead of taking action, but the only way to ever get to where you want to get to, where you say you want to be, where your dreams are, where your goals, your vision is through taking action. It's not always going to be comfortable. It is the, and I want people listening to this,

really paint this picture in your mind. You're on one side of a cliff. That's where you are today, of a mountain. The other side is where you want to get to. Your full alignment with God, your vision, who you were created to be. The only way across is a, a bridge like you're walking across this night tiny little bridge it's kind of shaky and it's you know it's a it's a risk to go do that and there's going to be times where you trip and you fall and you stumble and you think you're going to fall off this bridge but the only way to get to that other side is through taking action is through eliminating the roadblocks becoming aware of what those roadblocks are and understanding how you can get through those and that's what this book does and

what I'm really excited to share with people so they know what their action archetype is. All right. So start with, I don't even know what the action archetype is. Well, I do because I've got your book, but break it down for everybody today for those who haven't heard of this before. Sure. And we're probably going to, you know what? We're going to flip the script on you, Heather, and we're going to find out what your action archetype is. I love that. Put me in. Monkeys in. Let's do it. Okay. All right. So first of all, give you the overview so you can kind of understand from a 40,000-foot view what this is like. think about the book Atomic Habits where there's actionable items to do to take action in your life

mixed with the Enneagram. The Enneagram is a personality test. You know, you're like a one or a seven with a wing of an eight. So this is not a personality test, but it's an awareness test of why you are holding yourself back. Then we're going to mix in this crazy cool Malcolm Gladwell type stories of historical figures from the past who changed the world. You probably have never heard. heard of before. So there's told in these stories of people like Lewis Latimer who probably never heard of before, but he is the guy behind Thomas Edison and Alexander Graham Bell, why they had this inventions of the incandescent light bulb and the telephone. He was the one who pushed the contracts forward. He was the one who literally got them to win that race. It's crazy. It's

fascinating. But nobody really knows about him. And he had this same struggle. So all these people, they go through the same struggles that we're going through. He went through. He was burnt by the past. So many people in his life had burnt him time and time again. So why would he take action when Alexander Graham Bell shows up at his doorstep, knocks on his door and tells him about this potential invention that he has? He'd been burnt so many times.

Why would he do it? We all have. Maybe that's yours. Maybe that's what's holding you back today. You've been burnt by a past relationship, a past family member, a past business deal that went wrong. and you're unwilling to take a chance because you're holding yourself beholden to the past, prisoner to the past. He decided, I'm going to take action on this, even though I've been burnt

before and look what happens. So it's these crux moments that you have in your life where you can take the risk. You don't know where you're going to land. You don't know if you're going to fall off that bridge, but you take that risk, you take that action that ultimately leads to your success. So nine action archetypes, Heather, nine. Doing three years. of research, study surveys. Everything comes in the whole nutshell of fear, but they're broken down into different reasons. So the first one being the alidaxophobic. This is fear of other people's opinions. Do you fear what other people think of you? Is that why you don't take action? That would not be me. That would not be you. I know that would not be you. Okay, so this is good.

When I say these, let's try to think about like, might this be you? And here's the cool thing, too. every one of these nine, I've been every one of these nine at some point throughout my life. Doesn't mean I'm still stuck in those ones. And that's what's great about this. You keep coming back through it. If you feel a stuck point, okay, why? Why am I not taking action? You don't, you're not concretely, you know, stuck and you have to be this person like you

are in the Indianigram or the Myers-Briggs or, you know, something like that. So the second one is the burn. You were burned by somebody in the past, just like we were talking about. third one is the inopportune. I mean, you don't think it is your time. You're too young to do it or oh, ah, you're too old to do this. Well, there's a lady Nola Oakes who was 85 years old who decided she wanted to go to college and she graduated with a master's degree. Was she too old at 85? Our brain's neuroplasticity can change. I mean, that is literally what neuroplasticity is. Our brains mature. Okay, so here's the difference, mature in our late 20s. But the

difference between maturing and learning vastly different. You can always continue to learn. You might be able to pick up things when you're younger at like six or seven years old and learn a language, but it doesn't mean you still can't pick it up. It's called deep learning, deep practice. There's ways about that. So inopportune. The fourth, blamer. You're blaming somebody else. You're blaming a situation. You're blaming your height, me for not playing in the NBA. It's all my parents fault. They weren't tall enough. Didn't give me the great jeans. You're blaming somebody else. Very easy to do because those people, they won't call you out on that. The fifth is the test believer. Now, this is an interesting one. This would be like, well, my enneagram says this, so this is who I have to be.

But the one that I like the most is, like I always find an interview, people will say, well, you know, Heather, I can't go connect with people because I'm introverted. No, no, no, no, no, no. Introvert and extrovert doesn't mean if you can talk to people or not. It's just how you recharge. Do you recharge around others or do you recharge by yourself? That's all that means. So you take away like, you know, people say, well, mercury's in retrograde. I'm just going to have a bad month. Why?

Because some kind of thing told you that. It's bogus. The perfectionist where you cannot start until everything is exactly perfect. This is the procrastinator perfectionist. The scarcest is, you know, there's only one slice of the pie for me. that'd be like in our industry, Heather, if I just try to hold everything back and like, I'm going to get every single talk, every keynote talk is mine. I will never share it with anybody else. No, it's abundance. You give to other people it's going to abundantly come back to you. You can stack

that pie, the slices a la mode, stack and stack and stack. The distracted, this is not necessarily just saying like distractions, oh, phone notification, oh, this, but it's also the good things, the opportunities, the shiny objects that you get that hold you from away from your great. And it comes. Like, you know that. I know this. We get so many opportunities, blessings to be like, hey, you should come to this event. Or hey, you want to start this business?

But ultimately, if it's keeping me away from what my God-given mission is and my vision is, then it's a distraction and it's going to block me from getting there. And finally, the underestimator. This is the person who thinks, well, why me? Well, why does Heather get to have this great big podcast? an amazing author and speaker like, why would I be able to do this? No, it's a flip of the script of, well, why not me? Somebody's got to do it. Why not me? It doesn't matter if I come from small town, little Iowa, or where I was born or anything like that. It's the, you are

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But even just for an example, the blame, when I was younger, when I was, you know, I had a really tough childhood when I was younger, I would in my mind, I wouldn't necessarily say it, you know, out loud, but I would chalk up so much to why I can't find a good relationship. I can't find it. It's because of how I grew up. my divorced parents, the effed up, you know, childhood that I had, I remember that was like a tape that I would run in my head, which obviously was harming me massively. I didn't realize it at the time. I figured it

out after years of therapy, right? But having to pause that blame game and start moving into forgiveness has been super, super powerful. And now it's a daily practice of mine, not only forgiving people, like the woman that fired me, right? For a couple of years, I hated her. But then ultimately, she didn't ask me to, but I decided to offer forgiveness to her. And it just made me feel better. It ends up releasing you from that prison, as you had mentioned. Yeah, isn't that interesting? Like we hold on to that and we want to, but until you forgive somebody, they're literally

double winning on you and you don't even realize that. Like she was holding you in this past of you can't get past it because you're blaming her and it's just taking away your energy. She doesn't even know it, but she's double winning on you. once you forgive them. And we're not saying forget. You don't have to forget, but forgive because it releases you as well. And I love that you just, you know, even your past of like, well, this is how my parents were. I think that's such a real thing for like almost everybody. It's like, well, my parents raised me this way. Well, my parents, well my. So what? That's your parents.

You get to make everything in life really comes down to just, it's one way or another way. There's only two choices, two roads to take basically in anything in life. So it's just like your past. Do you look at your parents of, well, my parents were this way, so that's why I'm, or do you look at, well, my parents were this way? So that's why I go down a different path because I've learned a different way. It's so many things that like this, like the difference of upward counterfactual thinking versus downward counterfactual thinking. This is the difference of somebody looking at the past of like, well, I should have done it. Oh, well, what if? Oh, man, you know, I regret. I regret. I were like what if verse the downward counterfactual thinking is the person that you know you get in a little fender bender and you think well it could have been worse you know it could have been worse so it's how you look at each situation that you get in and one point I really want to hit on it's as you're talking about the past and how how important it is to really just address the past and this is the burn one of the main things that hold people back in relationships especially

or going forward in business deals is 77% of Americans are frozen in that past traumatic time. This is called traumatic age regression, meaning if there's something in your past, let's just take the example of, let's take the example of a childhood. Let's say you had a really bad childhood and, you know, you just felt like you weren't worth anything when you were growing up a childhood. Okay. If you go back, you say you go back and visit your child at home. parents, you automatically shrink back into that person you were because you were frozen at time,

because you haven't addressed that situation and allowed yourself to break free of it. Just like Heather's saying she hasn't, you wouldn't have forgiven yourself from that. You don't have to do anything other than that, then address it and forgive it and you're able to move on and get out of this frozen state. And there's, I'm not a, I'm not licensed in being able to do this, but I do know that it's called the AMS pressure points. There's different points in your body that hold different emotions. That's like when you get a massage and you get to like, oh, you've got so much tension held in your shoulders because you do hold stress in your upper body.

Happiness is held in your upper body. Anger is held down in your lower body. So there's different points in your body that are holding these type of energies. And one thing that you can do each day to activate this. and this is, I mean, it's kind of like, I always thought this was kind of woo-woo and just out there of like, oh, you know what, just, you know, grounding. Get your feet on the ground, out in nature. I thought it was just one of those things those people would say. But almost every single one of these types of feelings are also held in your feet or activated through your feet.

So it's a way, it's a reason why when you put your bare feet on grass that you actually do, you feel, or you will feel better. So long story to where we were going with that, but why the burn is one of the biggest debilitators for people taking action because they haven't addressed the past and been able to forgive the past. Oh my gosh. So I had this visual while you were talking years ago. This is in late 20s. My biological parents were divorced when I was very young. I had no relationship with my biological father. And so as an adult, when I was struggling with relationship, I'm like, wow, I just can't, you know, things just don't work out for me in romantic relationships.

I wonder why that is. You know, I started opening my mind to maybe I need to investigate my past a little bit more, right? And like figure out what that relationship was like with my biological father. I hunt this man down. I find him, right? Like this guy does not know this girl's coming for him. I call my sister. I'm like, let's go.

We're going to meet this dude. I need to fix myself so that I can move forward with a clean slate. and I don't know what this stuff is from the past. She comes with me, thankfully. We go to meet this man that we don't know. And the interesting thing, David, to your point, you're so right. I'm the most outgoing extroverted person, sometimes intimidate people because I'm so vocal and strong.

I didn't say one word there. I shrank. And my sister, who's the introvert in our family, she had to carry the whole conversation. She had to be the one to say, Heather, are you, or do you want something to eat? Like I went into this different persona and I had no control over it. I was so scared. I literally couldn't find my voice and I didn't regain my voice until after we left that day. However, it was such an eye-opening experience for me that I was carrying this whole baggage from

my past of fear and intimidation and an inability to speak up for what I wanted. But that was what I'd been carrying around with me my whole life. And it was this transformational day for me, even though I didn't say very much at all, it was this really powerful event to unlock all of this hurt and past baggage that I had, you know, brought right along with me. So I'm so grateful that you brought that point up. Well, yeah. I mean, that's that's really powerful that you did that. And it was, you felt the whole suppression of that everything that weight was released from you. And that's, I mean, that's what we do with negative thoughts.

That's what we do with hurtful situations is most people will suppress those thoughts. And those suppression of thoughts doesn't mean that they go away. They're more alive than ever. And that's what causes the stress. That's what causes the anxiety until you're able to actually be like, okay, I see you in the past. I forgive you of the past. I forgive you, father. I forget, like, until you're able to do that, it doesn't matter.

That will, you'll never release yourself over this. So that was incredible self-work that you did. And yeah, you can see it in the way that you act, who the person that you are today. You are one of the most confident, bold people that I know. Because you know what? You don't be interesting. I want to ask you this.

And I think this will be great for the listeners. Like fear of other people's opinions is such a big thing. People fear speaking in public literally more than they fear death, which is wild. Like, what do you think? Why have you been able to crack the code on that? And be just being so like, you don't really give a shit what other people think. I believe that stepping into who you really are, your purpose and your passion, the more, and that can be how you look, how you dress, what you do for a living, who you surround yourself.

But the more you really like take off those mass, proverbial mass, which I had worn one in corporate America for, you know, two decades, pretending to be very stoic, pretending to be very strong. and polished. I was never my, and I was, I spoke back then in front of thousands of people on the regular in my old industry. I now watch footage, David, of me speaking back a decade ago versus now. I am light years better in my mind. I thought it was great back then and people tell me I was good, but I think that big difference is I took off the proverbial mask. It's still the same me, right? I'd already been speaking for two decades then, but the difference is I rocked, like, oh my gosh, yeah, my feet stink.

And guess what? You're lucky if you even get in the vicinity to know that, people. Are you kidding me? Right. Like, I am so me and unapologetically me. I've been doing it now for a while. That's been the game changer, I think. Yeah, yeah.

You know what? There it is. I mean, you hit it on, you are unapologetically you. So people, everybody listening, you want to feel comfortable in your own skin. You want to have those conversations with people like I'm able to have with you, Heather, and our mutual friend Jordan Montgomery, where you just can be yourself. Like, I don't have to bring anything to the table to try to impress you or try to be somebody that I'm not.

And it is so, so freeing. Most people will feel like, well, I got to put on a face. I got to make sure they like me. I got to make sure that they approve of me because all we're doing really is seeking validation from others. We're seeking approval from others. We're seeking validation from others. but once you understand that people don't actually want that,

they want to feel like you said, where you allow people, hey, my feet stink. Yours do too. Let's be okay with it. You can be cool with that, you know? It's the most powerful characteristic I think a person can have is where they're so comfortable in their own skin. They make everybody else around them comfortable in their own.

The one thing that I want to bring up to this point for everyone listening is that, and this was a hard lesson for me to learn, and I didn't realize it, go back to when I was in corporate America, I had a mask on. I wasn't a real me. I mean, I was me, but like I was a dialed down version of me. So I wasn't truly being myself. I was a track because I was showing up as a weird, distorted version of me, I'm attracting the wrong people towards me.

I'm attracting the wrong opportunities because I'm not really being me. And that's been the biggest awakening for me is you think you're doing things to make other people like you. Now you're getting the wrong people to like you. you're pulling the wrong partners in because you're not actually being you. When you show up as that energetic real version of you, you start attracting the right people towards you, the right business deals,

right romantic relationship, right everything. But those things don't happen until you own unapologetically who you are. Yeah. And why are we, what are we afraid of? What are people generally, I don't get it.

Like, I know it's fear, sure, but what are you, are you afraid of you going to die? Well, okay, think about what the worst can happen. You die. You don't have to be afraid of anything more. You're gone. Are you going to go to jail? Is that the worst that can happen? Probably won't. Are you going to be homeless? No, like, what are we afraid of? There's really nothing. We're playing a win-win game of

life here. You got to understand that you will never get everyone's approval. So just throw that in the backseat. I mean, the biggest landslide in presidential history, this is the person to run the country biggest landslide was in 1972. Richard Nixon got 60.9% of the votes. That means 39.3% of people didn't like him, didn't want him in office.

There's also a stat that 19% of people will just generally, they just won't like you because they're jealous of you, because for some reason, I don't know, because your feet stink, they just won't like you. And you don't have to worry about that. Like, it's so funny that it's people just care so much when you really got to realize like someone might think of you

or say something of you about you and they think about you for like 10 seconds max then they're thinking about themselves and probably what they're having for dinner and then we go think about like oh this person said this for the next rest of your day in your whole week and it just throws you off so much like i don't know i maybe that's just a a frustration that i have that i just can't come to grasp with why people care so much what others think. Like I tell people that talks at how that. So it's one of my favorite lines to use is I can step on this stage and, you know what, I want you to love me.

I want everybody to listen to this podcast and love me. I want you to come out of here like, David's the best. But when I go home, you think I'm thinking about you? No. I got God and my smoking hot wife and that's all I need. I love that. But it's such a good point that you bring up. And it was funny, you'll love this because it's MBA related.

I coached an NBA player who was struggling with his competence. And the first time we met, I'll never forget, David, he said to me, he said, Heather, you don't understand what it's like when I'm on that free throw line. And you don't understand millions of people are watching me and millions of people. And you don't understand. And I started laughing out of it. And I'm like, dude, I've been in the frigging stand. And I'm not watching you because I'm on my phone because I'm talking about who's going to go run up and get me a drink.

Like, what are you talking? Nobody's watching you. The goal is to try to get these people to watch us, but nobody actually is. And I'm so glad you brought that up because it's that small tweet to realize we think it's all about us, but it truly never really is. And if you can get people's attention for a tiny little fragment of a second, you know, you're already winning. But the reality is people are more concerned with themselves day in and day out. Oh, that's so good. Yeah, that's a great. I need to tell NBA players that. I'm going to use that. Like, you know, know what? They're really not actually watching you. They're probably checking Instagram and seeing what a cool picture they can get. Because I know, like, going to games with my wife, she's trying to boomerang the free throw shot. She doesn't care if it goes in. She wants a cool boomerang. Like, come on. It's so, so true. People are really more concerned with themselves. What is the most popular archetype that you see people struggling with? You know, I think that is the alidaxophobic, the fear of other people's opinions. But I also think another one that goes overlooked a lot is the distracted. I think it's really important to talk about the distracted because it's not like we kind of prefaced earlier. It's not just about the things that are obvious distractions that are the bad is not the

enemy of your great. It's all the things in between the gray areas, the goods that will take you away from what you're meant to be. So I think understanding like with, and it's funny because people say, well, you know what, they just have more time in their day or they're not as busy as me. No, no, busy is a bunch of BS. It's just whatever you put your attention management on. It's not time management.

It's attention and energy management. Like Elon Musk, he has the same amount of hours as we all do, but he gets a ton more done. Now I'm not saying go work 140 hours a week, but it's the focus that you have. on your vision and not allowing things that are going to take you away from that. Like if I'm saying, hey, I want to, like in book writing mode, if I say, I want to write this book and here's what I'm going to do, I'm going to make this my focus. This is my vision for the next seven months. Now, if I'm getting these opportunities like, David, we've got a mastermind in Palm Springs.

Come on, you've got to be a part of this. You can't miss out on this. Or you want to do X, Y, Z. And they all look great. but do they actually lead me closer to where I'm saying I want to get to where my mission, to where my vision is? No, it just becomes distractions. And I think another way too of like, well, people say, well, David, what if I have kids?

I can't do it. I have kids. No, you know what? Use those, if you're going to call them quote unquote distractions to teach them. Say, hey, little Johnny, I'm going to come right. You want to help me create a story here? Let's write this story together. Or like I can't, I just can't work out.

I got kids. You don't get it, David. Work out with your kids. Teach them the importance of exercise. You can always find an excuse if you want to find an excuse. But you can always stay on your vision if you want to stay on your vision. Starting the year with a wardrobe refresh, Quince has you covered with Lux Essentials that feel effortless and look polished.

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Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash confidence to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash confidence. I'm, of course, my biggest fan. And I typically will say, like, I'm getting so much more done than most people in the world. However, I will bow down to you what you've accomplished in, like, the last year and a half has blown me away, nailing your TEDx talk, coming out with a third. But, like, you are just banging things out left and right. So you must have found a way to keep those distractions away.

Yeah, to an extent, I think I continued to get just through the practice of it, becoming more like understanding and have how to use what I call, I call it my Hawaiian Airlines time. So here's a tool. I'll give you guys a tool. This is one of my favorite ones to do. Now, I joke with my wife that I wish we lived in Hawaii so I could commute back and forth daily from Hawaii to L.A.

Hawaiian Airlines is still like the only airlines that doesn't. have Wi-Fi, so please do not get Wi-Fi. Because once there's like Wi-Fi, you feel like, oh, I got to be connected. I got to know what's going on. But in those five hours of that flight, that time that's just focused, the attention, the energy management of not worrying about everything else going on, I get so much more done. So I create those type of buckets in my day.

Like, I don't take calls before noon. I don't take any phone calls before noon. I normally don't do many podcasts, but when Heather Monaghan says, hey, let's do a podcast, I'm like, yeah, let's do it. So you got to rank the levels of importance, of course. But I usually use that first three to four hours in the morning, though, this is when I'm going to get the stuff that I have on my plate, my focus of the vision of what I'm going to do.

So I don't allow myself to just go check email throughout the day. I have certain times when I check email, certain times when I check my phone. So it's, yeah, thank you for that compliment. But I think I'm just getting better at, I mean, I guess just managing my energy and attention as opposed to what I feel like. And I also, I also, like, I don't feel like I have to get everything done in one day. It's just to continue. I'm going to plant a seed here. I'm going to plant a seed there. I'm going to do a little bit there. Chip a little bit away there. And over time, a year and a half, we did a podcast last time. Then there's another book. Then there's

this. So yeah. And we both know it. It's like, it's a fun journey to be on. It's the, we give each other crap about it about being who's ranked higher in the speaking. It's a fun competition. I think I love competition. And it's one thing that I took away from Michael Jordan. His point guard, BJ Armstrong, is a really good friend of mine. And we were having lunch one day. And I was just asking him what made him so different than everybody else? And he said, it's not necessary that he hates to lose or that he loves to win. He just ultimately loves competition, daily competition. Competition of himself, competition to make his team. better. I think that's just kind of where the joy of all this is, too. Oh, yeah. It's so,

much fun. Life really is a big game. And it's just, it can be so fun when you embrace it that way. I'm so with you. All right. So share some tactics around fear has been a big holdback in my life. You know, and I've struggled with it and continue to struggle with it. And I know that everyone listening right now struggles with fear on some level. What are some of the tactics that you share in the book to help people bust through fear and take those actions? steps. Yeah, so each archetype has its own action step at the end of it. So it sets it up with, you'll understand by reading it, which archetype you most align with. And then at the end of it, after reading the story of this person who came from nowhere, it was nobody and took action and

changed its trajectory of the world, then you have this tool of how to overcome it. So one of my favorite ones, and we'll give you this one to start off with, since we've been talking about fear of other people's opinions, is what I call be the comedian. Now, think about your favorite comedy show. My favorite comedy show is The Office, best all time. Love the Office. Yeah, if you don't love The Office, there's something wrong with you. Yeah. Go watch it.

Michael Scott, he's the manager for Dunder Mifflin Paper Company in Scrant, Pennsylvania, and he's always doing something to get himself in hot water. He's saying something to put his foot in his mouth. It's hilarious. But Michael, in his situation, very stressed, anxiety. It's a difficult situation that he's in. And when you think about it, that's our life too. That's why it's so funny because we can relate to it.

So we're watching as the viewer laughing at this guy, Michael Scott, going through it. So we are going through the same thing he is to some extent in our lives. So when that happens, stop, pull yourself back out of it to be able to be like, okay, view yourself. Now I'm sitting on the couch watching myself go through this meeting where I'm absolutely falling on my face. my boss is yelling at me. That's hilarious. Because like we said, you're not going to die. You're not going to go to jail. Even if you get fired, it's probably going to lead you to something better anyways, but be able to step back and laugh at yourself. So the hardest thing to do with this is to become aware of these times. Like once the momentum and the continuum of the time and the day

are going on, and when you're in that moment, it's very hard to step out of it. So to be able to step out of it, I also use a tool where it's just simply a snap of my fingers. So just snap your fingers because that's a cue to your subconscious. Snapping stands for stop. Okay. So nothing, you cannot become aware of anything going on unless you stop. You have to cut the time, give it a stop, a pause. That's why halftime is so powerful in sports because they're like, oh, we get a stop.

We get to assess what's going on and we get a game plan for the next half. So stop, notice, you notice, well, why is my kid throwing a frying pan at me? Why is my boss throwing, smashing me with a stapler on the head? Notice what's going on. Then you assess the situation. How did we get here? Take time to you're assessing the situation. You stop, notice, assess, and then you simply p-pivot, a small turn in the perspective

that you can look at it in an entirely different horizon to come. So it's just that pause, that snap. When you step back out of it, you look at yourself, going through this, you start laughing at yourself and just laughter in itself frees you up a ton. And I mean, there's literally studies that have shown more productivity through companies that smile and laugh more. It's crazy. They've done studies on everything. But yeah. I mean, well, it makes total sense. When you are experiencing joy and having fun, you're more creative, you're more innovative, right? You're more yourself. I mean, it all makes such good sense.

So if you are in a situation at work right now where you're not having fun and it is a toxic environment, take that as a cue that you are in the wrong place. You need to get yourself out of there and don't let fear stop you. Like David said, you need to snap and get yourself moving. So David, how does everybody find you? How do they find do it the life-changing power of taking action, your new book that everyone needs to get? Yes, go get it now. Don't wait any longer.

Take action, literally now. And I say that in a way of, like, I'm not, you know what I actually came to terms with. Heather is the first two books, I always was like, I want to sell this many books. I want to hit this number. I'm not concerned about selling them. I want people to actually read it. I know, I know there's stuff in there. There's a lot of, you know, figuring out what is holding you back that's going to help you in

some capacity. So if you want to actually do, and there's a huge. difference in our lives in this society of knowing and doing two completely different things. Pick up the book, anywhere books are found, Amazon, Barnes & Nobles, my website, DavidNurse.com. I do some coaching to help people figure this out where the roadblocks are to take action in their lives. And whenever me and Heather decide where our hangout is going to be, maybe we'll invite other people to come join us too. I don't know. I mean, I think that is like a must have to happen. We absolutely have to do that. And answer one last question before you go,

who did you write this book for? I wrote it for anybody that's holding themselves back. And that is a lot of people. It's not, you know, I mean, people say like, hey, who are you write the book for specifically? I'm writing the book for an awareness of what's the roadblock and how do you get past that roadblock? Take action. Eight percent of people achieve their goals. 92 percent don't. Be part of the eight percent. Wow. Get in the eight percent club. You've got to do it, the life-changing power of taking action. David, thank you so much for being here. Go get this book, guys, right now. This is the cue. Take action. Here's your first action step. Go get the book. Until next week, keep creating your confidence.

Come on this journey with me.