Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #324: The POWER Of Letting Go With Heather!

Episode Date: May 24, 2023

Have you been wanting to work with Heather? Her annual elite mastermind is open NOW!   She is only accepting 20 participants this year! Click the link below to learn more and apply now if you are ready to go to the next level! https://bit.ly/hm-cc-mastermind  In This Episode You Will Learn About:  The true POWER of letting go  Practicing faith and trusting yourself   How face-to-face interactions can make ALL the difference  How to gain the support of the people around you   Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Visit Indeed.com/monahan to start hiring now Go to NetSuite.com/MONAHAN and take advantage of this special financing offer Show Notes:  If life has been hard or challenging lately, it may be time to surrender and let go of what you’re trying to make happen. When we can release the outcome and embrace the journey, new opportunities will open up to us! I met a really amazing person who opened my eyes to the possibilities of releasing control, and embracing whatever comes my way. Plus, I’ll read you a few sections of Joe Dispenza’s book, Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself to inspire and help you move forward!

Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, so anytime that I see a topic coming up often, repeatedly in my life, I always think, oh my gosh, I need to share it with you. It must be a sign that I'm supposed to talk about it. So over the past, well, over the past few months for sure, but major over the past two weeks, the topic of surrender keeps coming up.

Now, if you are anything like how I've been my whole life, the idea of surrender sounds crazy. Like, why would you surrender to anything? Keep working hard and making everything happen. And that's how I've lived my whole entire life. And if you live like that, like, I'm here for it. I did too, right? So I get it. However, the older I've become, the more I learn from my child, from people around me, the stronger my faith grows, I do understand there's something so much bigger than us out there. And if we only start to surrender to it, allow for God's plan,

it's going to be so much greater than the plan that we devise for ourselves. And I've, I'm living it. but I'm kind of fighting it along the way. And so I'm trying to be really introspective here, and I definitely don't have it all figured out. But I want you to ask yourself these questions, too, if life has been hard or challenging, and for me, for sure, it has been. I just think to myself, it doesn't have to be that hard. I see some of my friends have really easy lives. And again, no one's got, you know, it on lock. There's always challenges and problems. But my life is definitely more of a struggle. And the reason why I'm really coming to believe is that I try to control every outcome. You know, I'm trying to muscle everything when in reality, I need to let go,

let God, and surrender. And it's so confusing when you've lived your life one way for so long, it's confusing to say, oh gosh, this other way actually could be the right way. I just didn't know how to do it. Still don't really know how to do it. But I'm curious about it. I'm open to it. And I'm willing to try. So I've been in this situation now for more than a year, actually.

But, I mean, it's really heightened very recently. And it was so interesting. This is a great business example. and then spiritual as well. So a woman who I know from the internet, right, I don't know her in real life, so you're not close, right? Like you're only computer friends or whatever. But she had sent me her book. She had a new book coming out. And I had received it. I had not read it. I get, I literally received multiple books every single week. So sometimes there's just no time to read it. So I didn't read it. And I forgot about it. I put it away in a drawer.

Anyhow, she wanted to come on the show. So I hear from her, hey, Heather, I'm going to be in Miami this week. I'd love to meet up with you Wednesday or Thursday, even just, you know, if for a coffee or a drink or whatever, just whatever, you know, for 30 minutes, would love to meet in real life. I'm a big fan of in real life. So I said, yeah, absolutely, let's do it. We met up at the four seasons to get something to eat for an hour. I had a speech after. And so I just, I said, I've got an hour.

And she said, yeah, great, I've got a dinner that night, whatever, we'll get something quick. So it worked out perfect. She did not push anything on me. She just showed up, was so kind and so supportive. And I had kind of forgotten about her book, right? I just hadn't been thinking about it. And she was asking me how I was doing, and I was explaining to her some of the challenges that I'm dealing with and, you know, some of the frustrations for me around letting go and letting God and surrendering. And she says, oh, my gosh, that's chapter seven in my book, Heather.

She said, I break it all down for you. She said, I break down this whole matrix that I've had a lot of success using that I think would be really helpful for you. And so she starts asking me these questions, which is ultimately, like, what's the worst case scenario? Like, what's the absolute worst thing that could happen? What's like a middle ground option or outcome that could happen? And, like, what's the best case scenario that could happen in your mind?

And can you live with all of these? which the reality is, yeah, I mean, you really, you can. I'm not saying I want to, right? Like, the worst case is not my ideal case. However, I could live with it, right? So we were chatting through the different outcomes and going through her matrix exercise. And as I'm listening to her, I'm like, this makes really good sense. Like, this is a great exercise, and it's a good exercise for you right now.

If you're struggling with something, you want to surrender, you want to let go, you want to let God, but you're just like, oh, I really want to control the outcome, which, by the way, I think, think is normal. I think that's very human. Try to go through what are these worst case scenarios? Like, what would be the worst thing? What's the worst outcome that could happen? Can I live with it? What's like a middle ground outcome and what's the best and ideal in our mind outcome, which really is it ideal? We don't know yet, right? That's yet to play out. So it was a really interesting exercise. I got a lot of comfort listening to her. You know, she's gone through a lot. And this exercise really has helped her fear of flying, breast cancer.

I mean, a lot of issues that she's struggled with, real major issues. And it was super helpful to kind of just let go a little bit more just through that talk with her. And it was, she's just a really wonderful person. And I don't know, sometimes I meet someone and I'm just going to tell you right now, being face to face with someone is completely different than meeting someone on the computer. you can feel their energy and their vibe and her sincerity, and she was so sweet. Anyways, so I felt so good about it. I got home, I left her to go to a talk, and I had to give a talk. And when I got home that night, I pulled out her book. So it was so funny, yet again,

going face to face makes a difference. She didn't ask me to pull out her book. She was kind, supportive, and encouraging to me. And I guess what I want to encourage you right now is, Sometimes we think like, oh, I pitch this person, this idea, or I can't get this client or this or that. Sometimes it's just about showing up, finding a way to get face to face with someone and support them, that then they're going to start thinking on their own, how can I support her back? How can I support that person back? Because that's exactly what I did when I got home. I pulled out her book and I thought I need to make time to read about her book this weekend because I'm curious about it. And I love that she shared that great exercise with me.

It was applicable in my life, helpful in my life. I think it could help my listeners. And then I thought, you know what? And she's just a nice person. Like I like to dig into nice people and see if there are ways I can help them. So this weekend, I was reading her book and I ended up texting her. I just said, I just want to let you know. I'm into your book and it's really good and it's super helpful.

And your conversation was so helpful with me in Miami. And I just want to say I'm really grateful for you and I'd love to have you on my show. That is not what typically happens, right? I literally get so many pitches every single week, people wanting to come on the show. And I'm protective of you, right? I want to make sure that we're bringing good messaging that's helpful. That's something that's going to age you and assist you. But I don't want to bring stuff that isn't useful to you because I don't, you know,

this is your time. This is your show. And it was just, it was one of those interesting moments in my life where I thought, wow, she didn't strategically do that. She just showed up as a nice person that she is. Maybe she was hopeful that that would happen. I don't know. She never, you know, said or asked or even said anything about it. But now I'm interviewing her this week. So you're going to be hearing from her in the next couple of weeks. She's going to be a guest on the show. You're going to hear a lot about her book, permission to offend, which has done really, really well. It's very, very well written. And some really useful exercises in this book that are very different than the way I think very different than maybe the way you think. And I love that, right? Like I love counterintuitive. ways of looking at things and it just helps you to open your mind to a different way to skin the cat, which as I move through the struggle with surrender, I'm open to it, I'm here for it.

I want to know different ways. I want to hear different ideas of what's worked for other people because I want to keep pushing my boundaries so I continue to grow and move towards surrender and ultimately surrender. Okay. So that was an interesting experience. But again, just reminded me always go face to face. Face to face. As a lot of always the answer. When you want more, start your business with Northwest registered agent and get access to thousands of free guides, tools, and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business. All in one place. Build your complete business identity with Northwest today. Northwest registered agents has been helping small business owners and entrepreneurs

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another book joe dispens his book breaking the habit of being yourself incredible book i book so good. I've read it so many times. And I have it so highlighted. And I just wanted to read a couple of excerpts to you. It's really all around surrender, right? So he says, what if you knew some issue facing you had been completely taken care of? What if you were certain that something exciting or great was about to happen to you? If you knew it without a doubt, there would be no worry, no sadness, no fear, and no stress. You would be lifted. You would be looking forward to your future. while the quantum mind is like a big mirror, it reflects back to you what you accept and believe as your truth. So your outer world is a reflection of your inner reality. The most important synaptic connection

you can make when it comes to this mind is to know that it is real. If you begin, I'm skipping around a little bit. If you begin to doubt, become anxious or worry, get discouraged or overanalyze how this assistance might happen, you have undone everything that you originally accomplished. Right. So doubt and worry block blessings, manifestations, and the potential. It's all about surrendering, meaning you turn it over, let go, and are assured that all is well and the right outcome will be delivered to you at the highest and best good for all. And yes, I get it. It so goes against the way of old school thinking in the way that I thought my whole life. Okay, so here's one of his surrender statements that he uses as an example. Universal mind within me. I forgive my worries.

my anxieties and my small-minded concerns, and I give them to you. I trust that you have the mind to resolve them much better than I could. Arrange the players in my world so that doors open for me. Inane intelligence, I release my suffering and my self-pity to you. I have mismanaged my inner thoughts and actions for long enough. I allow you to intervene and provide a greater life in a way that is just right for me. Now prepare to surrender. Close your eyes and begin to become familiar with what you want to say to this greater mind. Review what you've written. He's says to write it down so that you can take your limitations to it. The more present you are, the more focus you can become. As you begin to inwardly recite your prayer, remember that this

invisible consciousness is watchful and aware of you. It notices everything that you think, do, and feel. Ask for help and turn over your unwanted state of mind. Simply let it go. So it sounds so easy. Obviously, it's not that easy for me. I still struggle a little bit, But I'll tell you, I've been going down this rabbit hole now for over a year. And through curiosity, trial and error, meaning with different people, like I met with Rachel the other day and getting to hear her different perspective, it's all so helpful, right? And it's all leading me to a better place. I might not be there yet, but I know I'm on my way.

And that's a really good feeling, right? It's exciting. So I'm hopeful for you, if you're curious about surrender, if you are in the process of about surrendering yourself and your own life, that maybe both of those books, either of those books might be helpful for you. I definitely think the episode with Rachel, which will be coming out soon, is going to be helpful for you. I'm definitely going to get her into it. She seems to have mastered surrendering. And it's funny, I had a couple of friends this week explains me how they've surrendered. and it's like a weight of bricks off their back and how happy and how blessings filled their

life has become as a result. So those are just all signals and signs to me that to continue on this path and continue doing the work. And as my friend Tanya always says, you know, she said, think of it like you're checking into the ballet. You hand them your keys and you walk away. You never look back. You have a knowing that your car is fine. It's at valet. It's at valet. Valets, valet's got it. You don't need to keep running back and checking on it every day, every five minutes. And that's what I've been doing. I keep checking on the surrender. Where are we at with that? How's that going? Hang on. Is the outcome coming the one that I wanted or not? But I'm always trying to manhandle it still for something. And that's actually not surrender. So I try to remember that visual in my mind. I dropped the keys at the valet. I know it's fine. I have a knowing and I can let go. So I'm hopeful that you can let go. I'm hopeful that surrender is alive and well in your life. And if not, maybe you become curious about it,

you're going to catch up with this episode with me with Rachel and hear and learn more and begin to ultimately try to allow for surrender in your life. Because I do believe getting in the flow is such a better way of life than fighting your existence and fighting your way to get everywhere. It's just life doesn't need to be that hard. Life is definitely meant to be more joyful. What's interesting is that church today, our pastor D.C. was preaching, and she was preaching about surrender. Wouldn't you know? And it was just, it was beautiful. It did not fall on deaf ears

for me. It was really, it landed really well with me. And again, I just, I'm very much open to signs. I hope you are too. I'm always looking for them. And I think being divinely led is a beautiful thing and a much better way to live. She also shared today, that her son at five years old had found Jesus. And of course, both of his parents are pastors. So I'm not shocked by that, but that's very young, right? I mean, my son is incredibly spiritual, and I saw a seismic change in his life over the last two years as he's moved so much closer to God.

It's been incredible to watch. The peace within him, the kindness, the patience. It's so beautiful. And if you have a teenager or a child in your life and you're worried about them, oh my gosh, know this. Massive, tremendous change can happen in a very short window of time. I mean, frankly, that can happen with anybody, not just with kids, but I've seen it in my own child's life. Pastor D.C. was talking about how she's seen it in her five-year-old's life. Massive change can happen in a very short window of time. Pray. Pray for that child. Pray for yourself. Pray for whoever it is.

but know that blessings and miracles happen every single day. You just need to ask for them. You need to be open to receive and you need to be open to surrender, knowing that God's plan is so much greater than ours. And that is something I'm crystal clear on because I would have never picked to get fired. I would have never picked to step into the unknown. But today I'm so grateful that I did. Today, it makes sense because I can connect the dots looking back. I couldn't do that looking forward. So have faith, let go and let God. His plan is so much greater than yours. So somebody asked me on social media about writing a book, and I just want to give you a little bit of color on that. People overthink writing a book. Here's the key. Write. That's it. Just start writing.

I googled in 2017. It was fourth quarter. I had just been fired. I flew to New York to do the Elvis Duran show. He told me I was writing a book. He said it with conviction and confidence, and I accepted it. and I Googled, how do you write a book? And it said, right? So I did. And I didn't overthink it. I took messy action, and I wrote every single day for weeks. And then when I had a lot written, I thought, I need someone who's written books before

to advise me and direct me. I need an editor. I need to invest in myself. And I did that. I hired an editor. He had written 19 books. I had written none at that point. I sent him everything that I had written.

And he helped refine it and improve it and orchestrate it and organize it. And before you know it, within five months, I had written and self-published my first book, Confidence Creator. So just don't overthink it. Everybody wants to say, like, oh, there's this huge process and a structure. And yeah, maybe some people do it that way. I certainly didn't. And I'll tell you, my second book I did with Harper Collins Leadership, Overcome Your Villains. And that book took two years to bring to life. Why? Because the team is so big and there were so many people involved. So it's Interesting, when you self-publish and do it by yourself, you can move really fast as fast as you want. When you go the traditional route, you go at their speed, their pace, and their timeline.

It's very, very different. So, you know, advice on do you self-publish or do you go with a traditional publisher? That's really up to you. And is speed-to-market important? And do you want that expertise? Do you need that? Do you want that validation and that stamp? I did.

I totally did. I remember thinking, like, I want the stamp of Harper Collins. You know, I wanted to see that. And now that I have it, I don't know. First of all, I'd have to check my contract to see if I have, if I give them first read of refusal in my next book or if I could self-publish. But I do love speed to market. And I also believe that if you're having an idea, somewhere else in the world, somebody else is having that exact same idea in the exact same moment. Then it comes down to who executes faster. And that's why I've always believed speed to market is critical. Sitting around waiting and pontificating is never going to be the answer. And taking chances will always be my answer. I hope it's your answer too. The world needs more creativity. The world needs more of you shining your light, showing upright, and just going for it.

So I hope that you're going for it this week. I hope you're willing to surrender and believe there's something so much bigger out there for you, to let go, to let God, let the universe, whatever it is, whoever it is that you look towards and know that there is so much to look forward to because the best is yet to come. And it is so exciting to know that. And that is a truth. I know for sure. And I know that for you too.

Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be.