Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #332: Become Your Most Convincing Self With The Power of THREE With Heather!

Episode Date: June 21, 2023

Attend Heather’s Sales & Confidence Masterclass June 24th & 25th! https://heathermonahan.com/sales-confidence-masterclass/ In This Episode You Will Learn About:  The Power of 3 and what you can DO with it The Power of 7 and how to make your message STICK The best way to craft your brand to NEVER sell yourself short A sneak peek of the tips and tricks I will be discussing in my Sales & Confidence Masterclass! Resources: Visit heathermonahan.com Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Read about The Power of 3 and read Bulletproof Visit Indeed.com/monahan to start hiring now ​​Go to NetSuite.com/MONAHAN and take advantage of this special financing offer Listen to The Millionaire University Podcast! New episodes drop Mondays and Thursdays Go to 4Patriots.com and use code CONFIDENCE to get 10% off  Just go to fixswollenfeet.com/confidence to get 58% OFF NativePath Antarctic Krill Show Notes:  I WISH I knew this when I started my career! There is a key to persuasion that is scientifically proven and it will make all the difference for you in speaking, marketing, and just plain communication. It is the power of 3! Not to mention the power of 7! Interested in what this all means? Join me today as I discuss the simple steps to crafting a message that sticks. Plus I answer a few questions from my upcoming Sales & Confidence Masterclass that will dive even deeper into all these concepts and more. 

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, let me go over what we're going to talk about today. We're going to go over a really important concept in persuasion, sales, public speaking, presenting, which I think is really powerful. You may already be doing it and not know that you're doing it.

You may have heard about this in the past and forgotten about it, but I'm hopeful that it gives you a little bit of clarity and a strong reminder to want to talk to you about firing clients, overcoming your villains. Okay. I just want to mention something that came up in my life that reminded me, you know your girl, I wrote the book, Overcome Your Villains. I'm all about it. But sometimes we forget that you can actually fire a client. actually that is time well spent when you take a deep dive and look at the grief to gross ratio in your life and in your business. Okay. And number three, I'm going to answer a couple quick questions that came in for my new sales, confidence and branding class, which is kicking

off this week, Saturday and Sunday. I'm going to be live with you if you're in. So click the link below in the show notes. If you want to apply for my sales, confidence, and branding masterclass, it is going to be so good. It's going to be game changing and I can't wait to see you there. Okay, so let's start with this first concept. Do you like how I gave it to you in threes, right? The three things we're going to cover, which is the rule of three. Now, this is the one that you may have heard about this before. You may not have or you may already be doing it. And it's funny because I stopped myself and started thinking about what am I approaching leveraging this rule of three, right? Because this is science-backed. There's so much data to show that the number three is such a powerful number in the field of communication, whether it through writing, through speaking, through presenting, it doesn't matter. It's fact. Our brains respond in a very specific way to clusters and groups of three. It's not challenging for the brain to process. It's not overwhelming meaning it's not information overload. It's not too much. However, it's

giving justification and enough supporting evidence that it makes sense and persuades the mind. So grouping elements into three groups is powerful. You're going to see it all from the Bible right until today. Right. So there's the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. Cut to today, there's a stoplight, and there's green, yellow, and red. There's the stars, the moon, and the sun. I mean, there are so many examples of the power of three all through life. Start looking for them. You're going to start seeing them. And you know what's interesting is I was applying it to my own life before I decided to talk to you about it today.

And I started thinking about my books. Both of my books are broken into three parts so much so that my second book has a three-part system, the back system, beliefs, action, and knowledge. I wasn't being intentional maybe about it when I did it. However, that is the exact structure that both took on. So sometimes we're doing things innately that we've learned through our experience lead us to success. I want you to be really mindful of this one because this is a hack that you can use anytime you're going to write something, anytime you're speaking or presenting or looking at how to set something up for success. I want you to think of the power of three. Okay, so the rule of three, there's been so many books written about this. A good one is Dave Linehan's book, Bulletproof. but there's so much data out there. There's publications in the Atlantis Press. You can go down the rabbit hole, check out the rule of three, and you're going to find so much supporting evidence and data around this.

I just look at my own life and see it in really powerful ways, but implementing the rule of three is going to deliver you better results, right? So use this data, use this information to empower and support you for future success. There's so much around political speeches. incredible. I'm going to give you a couple of examples. But again, these facts go back to the Bible. It's so interesting to me. Nothing is new, by the way, right? Like, we might be discovering the information for the first time today or remembering it or going down the rabbit hole today. But this stuff all dates back to the Bible. None of it's new. And truly, I don't think there really

is anything new anymore. Well, maybe, I guess AI is new. Okay, we're going to give AI a shout out because artificial intelligence is pretty incredible. And if you haven't been using chat GPT yet. Where are you? I'm actually going to be covering some of the artificial intelligence that I'm using in my business now during my masterclass this Saturday and Sunday in hopes that these tools, when shared in a safe setting where people can ask questions, can help your business expand, evolve, and leverage cutting-edge technology, which, why wouldn't you want to have that? Okay, so let's get back to the rule of three. All right. So there's this power of, around this concept of breaking things into threes.

And a lot of it has to do with how our brain processes information and groups things together to handle information effectively and efficiently. Part of that has to do with our memory. And again, we don't want to overload people. People are already overloaded with information in their day-to-day life. I know for me, and think about yourself, when you sit in a presentation or go to a speech and someone's throwing so much at you, in some ways you shut off, you start daydreaming, you're looking out the window, like they've lost

you, it's really important to simplify things, keep things simple, which is critical in success and communication, but also to give them enough justification and or support so that they're persuaded to your way of thinking, right? So the number three is just, it's a number that is comfortable, however, doesn't overwhelm. It simplifies yet. justifies, which is really important. And when your goal is to persuade or influence someone, you want to, you want to offer them reasons to your way of thinking, but you don't want to overload them so much so that they shut down. Three is going to give you that key number to make your argument, your topic persuasive, and encourage them to your way of thinking. So think of things

around the power of three. Okay, so again, this is for speaking. This is our presentations. This is for me writing my books and I wasn't even conscious that I was doing it until now and I'm sitting down and actually diving into it. If you want to promote your products or highlight the features and use three adjectives when you do that, really take a look at what your goal is and how you could potentially use three words to use the power of three. Three examples to illustrate the power of three. Think about that power of three. Think about organizing your speech into three parts. Think about writing your book in three sections. And keep this concept in mind. Again, it doesn't have to be the only way you do things. However, it's a really successful and proven way. And there's so much

data to show the brain likes to process things in threes. Okay, I'm going to give you some more examples. And again, I'm going down the road of this book bulletproof, which gets really deep into it. But, you know, he's talking about the importance of dividing up a speech. And this is so good. This is a quote from Dale Carnegie. Tell them what you're going. to tell them, tell them, then tell them what you said. We'll tell them what you told them. So that is how I approached the speaking business for two decades when I was in the media business. I always would take the stage. I do it differently now. But this just goes back to proven formulas for success, right? And it worked for me for a long time. I'll tell you what I do

now. But I used to take the stage and I would tell them what I'm going to tell them. Then I would move into actually telling them. And at the end, I would tell them what I told them. And that works. That framework, that power of three right there, it works. I've evolved that in many ways now since I've become an entrepreneur and when I, a quote unquote keynote speaker. And when I take the stage now, I always start with a personal story. However, that personal story, I'm somehow going to bring around full circle at the end and tie through some part in the middle. So it still is the power of three, right? In my mind, there's a beginning and middle and an end.

The beginning is I always lead with personal story because it can. activates and connects with an audience, which to me is critical when I kick off a talk. I'm going to weave somehow that personal story into the actual teaching part of whatever it is I'm teaching or sharing in that talk, which is the middle. And in the end, I'm going to come full circle and close out that initial story to the end with the ask of the audience. Right. So it still is the power of three, even though it might not be as obvious as I was doing it when I was a little bit more junior, am I speaking? Okay, so anytime you want to emphasize a phrase or a word, here's something that's important for you know, frequency cells, right? So the more you repeat

or expose to messaging, the more impact you're going to have in a world where people are over inundated with messaging, there's a power of seven, which is ultimately around this idea that you need to hear messaging a minimum of seven times before you're actually going to process it and take action upon that messaging. That's why an ad, advertising, you might get an ad to your email. You might hear it while you're listening to Spotify. You might be served an ad on your computer with a visual image. And you might see these images all day long and you're thinking, why do I keep getting this ad served to me? Because you actually don't end up clicking on that ad or taking action on that ad until you've probably seen it at least seven times

that you're conscious of. Right. So, and this is something I've worked with my clients who give TEDx talks specifically is reiterating and or mentioning whatever your tagline is and be your big idea multiple times throughout your talk is really important. One of the ways that you could do that is through that pattern recognition of the power of three, right? So a minimum of three times. Again, if possible, I would do it even a little bit more if you can because we know frequency is what sells, hearing something multiple times is what's going to work. And seven is really. really the number from my experience and expertise in the advertising industry, seven was the most powerful and successful number to deliver upon getting someone to take action.

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Get more with Northwest Registered Agent at www. northwestredgisteredagent.com slash confidence-free. Okay, here's some examples. Political, which I think are interesting, Barack Obama's inaugural speech, homes have been lost, job shed. Businesses shuddered. So he's painting a very bleak idea, but he's giving us three examples, so we're a little bit more persuaded to his way of thinking. Okay. All right, Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address. We cannot dedicate, we can not consecrate,

we cannot hollow this ground government of the people, by the people, for the people. So it was interesting because he used it twice in that same long sentence, right? Okay, Steve Jobs, Stanford commencement speech. It means to try to tell your kids everything you thought you'd have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes. So that was broken into three different sentences. Right. So again, this is a really powerful way of communicating, a powerful, a powerful, way to share concepts with an audience, an individual in a way that their brain is going to recognize pattern recognition, their brain is going to process readily, their brain will not be overwhelmed,

will store in short term and long-term memory, and will be highly effective. It truly is a magic number when it comes to communication. And again, such an example for you is by books, right? My books are divided into three parts, both of them. And the second one is actually a three-part, it's a three-step plan. B-A-K, beliefs, action, knowledge. And I was not even consciously aware that that was what I was creating when I did it. However, based upon my experience in communication, I knew that to be the right recipe for success. And I want you to have that recipe for success too.

So if you're giving a talk, if you're presenting to someone, think about how you can leverage that power of three to express your idea in a way that will be, more memorable that will impact your audience in a more important, stronger way. And again, it can be in something you're writing. It can be in a presentation you're giving, a conversation you're having, but just think of how you can leverage that power of three to be your most persuasive self. Okay. So next I wanted to talk to you about this idea of firing a client. Okay, here's where it comes from. When I was in the radio business, oh my gosh, had just gotten in the radio business, I was probably my early 20s, and I'll never forget, I worked for an independent owner who ended up being a mentor, a partner of my inequity partner.

We worked together for years. Still a good friend to this day. When he was first working with me, I was spending an inordinate amount of time with one client. Do you feel me on this? Did you ever have these people that are sucking the life out of you? Right. And again, it doesn't mean they're bad people, but they want so much more from you than what anybody else is demanding, right? There's customers out there that are just easy to work with that appreciate you, trust you, get your value, are, you know, rocking great to see you and they move on into their own life. And then there's people like this client that I used to have that literally wanted to consume my life. They wanted me there every day. They wanted me sitting down and explaining things on.

They wanted me holding their hand. Now, there's some people that are fine with that. You're fine with that if that client's paying you millions of dollars. They're paying you an inordinate amount of money to warrant and justify that time and it doesn't bother you and it doesn't suck the life out of you. Great. Right. And there are people out there. A good friend of mine actually was explaining to me, he has a consulting client he works with that takes a huge amount of his time, but they're paying him millions of dollars to basically be on hand 24-7. He loves it. He's got a great rapport with them. He loves getting into their business at that level. It works for him. For me, back to this radio example, I was not getting paid a huge amount of money, but they were getting a huge amount of my time.

And so my old boss pointed out to me, listen, if these people want that level of commitment from you, they're going to have to pay for your time and your expertise at that level. If they want it just because they want it, that's not going to work. And it's always okay to fire a client. The same way you would fire someone from a relationship if they're not treating you properly in the way that you deserve and want to be treated, there's nothing different. This is just another relationship that you have that this one happens to be centered around business. very often we have partners and decide, you know, in business, this partnership's not working. We're going to go head and end this business partnership, wish you the best of luck and move on. There's nothing different when someone is a client of yours and they're asking too much of you in regards

or in exchange for what they're actually paying you. And once you have that realization, it's fine to take a step back and say, okay, this is where this no longer works for me. And I am going to go ahead and terminate this agreement. So I was saying, having a thought about this recently, especially as I'm gearing up for my confidence sales and branding masterclass this weekend. And I was just thinking about all the different ways that we can improve our business, improve our revenues, become more efficient, become more effective, reach and touch more people and more businesses. One of the best ways is to say, what is the grief to gross ratio on my current existing client base? Right. And let's improve and optimize those. Let's take a look at

who we need to end our business dealings with. and who those ideal clients are, and let's start creating more of them. So you have that opportunity, that choice, fire the clients that are taking up too much of your time, that that grief to gross ratio is not there, end those business relationships and agreements, and free them to go find someone that, you know, they're a better fit for, and then free up your time so that you can lean into that avatar of that ideal client that you have that knows, likes, and trust you, that loves doing business with you, that pays you a very high level amount of money that is worth your time and watch how much better you feel, watch how much more efficient and effective you are,

and watch how much more revenue you create. And for anyone that's out there that's saying, oh gosh, I'd love to do that, but I'm just too desperate. I just need to get business. Desperate is so unattractive and desperate will never attract the type of clients or clientele that you want. You've got to shift that narrative that you're telling yourself. Desperate is not, for you. Right? So whenever you're coming from a place of desperation, you've already lost a battle before you even entered the fight. So let that idea of desperation go. There is always more business out there. Someone was saying to me, oh, when the economy is uncertain, it's so hard, there's billions of businesses out there. There's billions of people that need the solution to the

problem that you solve. Expand your mind, expand your horizon, look for different ways, look for different opportunities. I promise you don't need to leave from a place of desperation and when you do, you set yourself up from failure from the word, go. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than a rough patch, you don't need just another meditation app. Takayatry makes it easy to see a psychiatrist online using your insurance in days. Takayatry is 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety,

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people on the intake form is like, tell me what you're struggling most with. Because I want to know the audience that I'm speaking to ahead of time so I can do the best job for them when I'm actually live with them. Understanding what my pain to purpose story is, I feel like I have two very different skill sets. I so resonate and relate to this. Okay, one is real estate investing and this person goes into what that dynamic looks like. The other is identifying market opportunities for SaaS companies. Okay, very different. So this person, and here's how I think you can relate to, here's how I relate to it too, is that this person has two very different skill sets. They aren't necessarily connected when you initially look at it. However,

they're still great skill sets. They still bring value to different audiences, right? And this person saying, like, how do I bring a personal brand to market when I have these very different skillsets and offerings? I faced the same problem. When I got fired when I was 43 years old, I remember my whole background and expertise was around sales and sales leadership. I had been running publicly traded media companies for over 20 years, and I was a chief revenue officer. That's what I did, right? I drove revenue. I built sales teams and drove revenue. Well, when I got fired, I wrote my first book, Confidence Creator. Here's what was interesting is that I had launched a personal brand around this concept of Boston Heels a year before I got

fired. So I was a chief revenue officer in media, and really I was sharing how I made it to the C-suite and how my whole life I had been told that you had to look a certain way. be a man, dress a certain way, wear blue pants suits, and act a certain way, not be loud, not be outgoing in order to make it to the C-suite. Well, I had proven that all wrong, right? Because I wore my hair and a ponytail tail and wore dresses and I am very loud. I did all the things people said you couldn't do and I made it to the place. People said I couldn't go. So I created this hashtag boss in heels, which is all about like, be the boss that you are. Don't let somebody else tell you what being a boss looks like or what you can or can't do.

go out, be the true you, and watch how powerful you become and how doors and opportunities open for you. Of course, you have to work hard too, right? So, I mean, there's, there is a lot of strategy and work that goes into all of this, but I was making it simple in that don't buy other self-limiting beliefs or others rhetoric, because I had done that for a long time. It's inaccurate. It's not true. Maybe it's true for them, but it doesn't need to be true for you. And it certainly was not true for me. Okay, so that was my hashtag Boston Heels. That's when I still was in corporate America. I got fired. I wrote confidence creator. Suddenly, I found myself in an interesting spot, much like that person that I just read to you from my intake form, I felt like I had two very different value propositions, right?

One was this value proposition around my expertise in corporate America, building sales teams, and driving revenue and selling and teaching people how to do that. And then the other piece that I felt I had this huge value prop in was around how to create confidence because I had lost all my confidence and I had recreated it and that's where my book confidence creator came from. So those don't necessarily look like they match, right? Like there's, okay, how do you bring all that together? However, you know what's so interesting is that now that I'm five years into this journey as an entrepreneur, I am bringing both of those together. I'm actually doing it this Saturday and Sunday in my sales confidence and branding masterclass, right? Like I have now found a way to bring them together.

However, when I first started, really it was 2018, I basically walked away from the sales, sales leadership and sales expertise side of my business because I wanted people to know that I was more than that, that I could do different things than that. And so I really leaned into my book, Confidence Creator. I started taking massive stages, speaking about how to create confidence in work, how to innovate in work, how to collaborate on teams via confidence in yourself, and how to build confidence within the teams and people around you. When I look back, That was a major error that I made. I didn't need to drop 25 years of my expertise to lean full into this new thing that I was talking about.

I could have done a better job saying this. And this is the approach I would suggest for others. Look at your business. Look at your personal brand as like this giant umbrella. It doesn't have to be one thing. Right. So for me, it was all around empowering others, setting others up for success, pulling the curtain back and teaching others the hacks tips and tricks. to get ahead in business and in life. Now, when that's the overarching umbrella, confidence can be

part of that. Sales can be part of that. Sales leadership can be part of that. Branding can be part of, like all of these different things have a place at the table. But first, I had to create that giant umbrella, which was going to extend completely over everything I did, this overarching umbrella that I would have. And then I could constantly create new products. I could create a speech around sales training and sales development. I could create a speech around confidence. I could create a speech around what innovation and business. I could create a speech as long as it fell within the umbrella that I had expertise and experience under. It didn't have to be siloed into just sales or into just confidence. And I approached it that way at the beginning. And that was wrong. So here's what I would encourage

you to do in this person that sent this question to me is that, yes, you may not see what's linking these skill sets together in this person's situation. It looks like it's real estate and some real estate in one area and then opportunities with SaaS companies in identifying market, oh, identifying market opportunities for SaaS companies. Okay, so this person doesn't see the connection yet. So what I would challenge you to do is like, what is that overarching umbrella, which is really representative who you are? Mine is about empowering others. So what is your overarching umbrella? And I'm going to make it up for this person. It's helping individuals and businesses drive revenue and create success. I don't know. Like I'm making that up. But you've got to figure out what is that overarching umbrella. I believe

anyways, it should go back to like, what is your purpose and your passion in this life? I love helping others. That's why I have this podcast, right? Like I want to teach people the things I wish I had known when I was younger. And for me, tying my purpose and my passion back to what I do on a day-to-day is so meaningful. It creates confidence within me. It inspires me. It motivates me. Intrinsically, I'm excited to get up every day and do the things that I love to do because I am coming from a place of my true purpose and passion. So when you can incorporate all those things, gosh, it makes your personal brand so much more real, so much more meaningful, and really accelerates the process for you. So the whole concept is find out what that overarching umbrella is.

You don't have to pick one or the other. I made an epic fail for my first couple of years doing that. I should have always been creating the umbrella and then operating wherever I felt, you know, there was a need or wherever I saw I could offer a product or service. I could solve a problem for somebody and it didn't have to just be in one topic. So I hope that helps. I hope that gives you a little bit of an idea in regards to your personal brand and start asking yourself that question. What is that overarching umbrella for you?

Everyone has a personal brand. whether you're holding the pen in dictating it or you're allowing the rest of the world to dictate it for you, grab that pen back and start taking control of that narrative, how you want to be seen, sharing what that overarching umbrella is for you, sharing those products and services and pain points that you solve for people and helping the world become a better place. So that's my message to you today. Take action. Get out there. Make today the day you start leaning into your personal brand. Done will always be better than perfect. And don't forget that rule of three. I hope that. hope it's helpful for you. I'd love to hear your questions. If you have any, you can go ahead and DM me on any platform. I'm at Heather Monaghan. You can go to my website, Heather Monaghan.com,

fill out the contact us form. Send us your questions. We will answer them live on air. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. And I hope I get to see you Saturday and Sunday at my confidence, sales, and branding masterclass. And the fact that that's three topics is not an accident. Check out the link in the show notes below and you can apply there. you then.