Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #348: DON’T Let Life Slip Through Your Fingers! With Heather!

Episode Date: August 16, 2023

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  The importance of taking care of yourself How to treasure your relationships What forgiveness does for you Finding something to look forward to Resources: Visit heathermonahan.com Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Go to 4Patriots.com and use code CONFIDENCE to get 10% off Visit Indeed.com/monahan to start hiring now. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/monahan Show Notes:  Do you ever take the time to consider what really matters in life? I had such a wake up call earlier this week! Do not take ANYTHING for granted! Remember to take care of yourself and prioritize your health! And reach out to those around you. Squash those arguments, make those calls, and remind people you are there for them. There is nothing more important than your relationships. So many amazing opportunities are cropping up for me and I can’t ever forget to be grateful. I have so much to look forward to and SO DO YOU!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, so in real time right now, I'm getting ready to leave right now to fly to Orlando to meet up for this private John Maxwell get together, which I'm super, super excited. I think I shared this with you before maybe five months ago, I was invited for the first time to this event, same event.

This time I was invited by my friend Jordan, and I really didn't know a lot about it. I did not know John Maxwell as crazy as that is. Cut to, I met him at the event. We hit it off. He's such an amazing human being. Oh my gosh, he's incredible. And I made so many amazing contacts at this event

and friends and it was so unexpected, so incredible, incredibly faith-based, how we're very much business-based as well. It was an incredible experience and it just reminded me, be open-minded to invites that you get even when you don't know anybody and it might seem a little out of your normal when you don't know the people that are going to be there, which I didn't I only had my one friend that I knew would be there.

It was incredible. I mean, literally life changing experience, okay? So I'm so grateful I went. And yeah, I was a little nervous. I didn't know anybody and it worked out unbelievable. Well, cut to, here we are a few months later, and I was put on the VIP John Maxwell Steering Committee for this event with my friend Jordan and three of our other friends from the first event.

And so it's been so fun that we had the opportunity and with my friend Jordan and three of our other friends from the first event. And so it's been so fun that we had the opportunity to invite and pick young leaders and VIPs to come in and do the same thing and get to spend time in this small group of people with John Maxwell and James Clear for this event. So it's incredible. I mean, what an incredible, I feel so blessed,

so lucky, so grateful. And a year ago, I didn't even know John Maxwell. So cut to, okay, so I got that opportunity, I got that invite. I jumped on it, went, had no idea what I was walking into. Literally blew my mind, most incredible event. Please say yes to things you don't know about and go meet new people,

because you just never know how, what doors could open as a result, and I'm so grateful I did it. Okay. Then I was picked to be on the steering committee, which I'm so grateful for and got to work more closely with these people who are incredible. And then got to select some young leaders to come with me. And it's just been such an incredible experience over the last couple of

months, putting this together, working with the team and now working with these other young leaders to come in and John's going to mentor and develop them. So this time, like anything, right? The first time scary. Well, now the second time, I'm coming back and as a veteran, right, I've done it. I know what I'm walking into. So I'm answering the questions for everybody else, which is, it's kind of funny when you think about, you know, just a few months ago, I had no idea what I was walking into and

I was nervous. So it's great that it just reminds me, you can go from being a mentee in a situation where you need direction and help and to be advised and then suddenly you're a mentor just a couple months later, it can change that quickly. So since then, I've had John in my podcast, I'm sure you heard the episode,

his 16 Laws of Communication. If you haven't gotten that book yet, oh my gosh, go listen to the episode. It's an incredible book. I've talked and met with his team about us partnering together. I mean, there's been so many incredible conversations and possibilities that have all arisen out of me showing up for that first meeting. So I'm so excited to get, you know, of course, when you're faced with face with people, that's when you close your deals. You solidify partnerships and you really bring things forward.

So I'm so excited for the next couple of days to have that opportunity. And of course, when I am face to face, I will ask for those things. I will ask to close the deal. And I'll ask the ultimate decision maker because you are so much harder to say no to in person. Don't forget that.

Don't mail it in, don't text it in, don't phone it in. When you have the chance, go face to face and go for the clothes. It works. People feel your energy and they know how serious you are and how committed you are. And I'm super open to what this partnership looks like. I have no idea. I don't even know if it's going to happen, but I have a sense in a feeling that it will. And I think it's going to be great because he's a great human being as teams incredible and they've become good friends over just the last few months, which has been wild. Okay, so super excited for the next couple days. As you know, it's my birthday.

My birthday is August 14th. This may be coming out August 15th. I'm not sure. But walking in to my birthday week is always super exciting. I love celebrating birthdays. I am telling everyone in the world that it's my birthday. I know some people think that's crazy, but I just, I think it's so fun to celebrate

and to look back on the past year and think about all the accomplishments and what you're proud of and what you're looking forward to. It's just another milestone to celebrate. And I'm always looking for any reason to celebrate. So I hope you're finding reason to celebrate in your life. And having something to look forward to and celebrate is really important.

So please look on your schedule, look on your plan, or what do you have coming in the next couple of months that you can look forward to, that you can celebrate. And it doesn't have to be anything huge. My son's going back to school this week. I'm super excited for him. I'm super excited for his basketball team to be back up and running for him to see all the kids and they haven't been together over the summer.

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case go to Shopify.com slash monahan to take your business to the next level today. Shopify.com slash monahan. And you'll be hearing this before you know it. I can't wait to tell you how this event goes because I just know big, big things are coming. I'm meeting a lot of new people and can't wait to report back. And then this week ahead, oh my gosh,

I have the biggest beating of my career. I'm gonna give you more detail on that, not yet, not until the deal has been closed, which I really believe it will be this week, but some big changes happening, and I'm so, so excited and so anticipating this week ahead. It's just, it's been a lot of work over the last, I guess now it's six years,

six years, six years ago is when I was fired in August. Six years ago and I work my tail off. There is no doubt about that, but I've always believed and had this vision that something really massive was going to happen. And I'm right on the custom of it. And I'm, gosh, I can't wait to tell you. I'm so, so excited. You're going to flip out.

Think bigger, dream bigger, have that vision. And even if it seems so far out of reach over the next weeks, months, years, you'll see, it will come to fruition. Just stay the course. And yes, I know sometimes a journey sucks. And yes, I know the struggle is real. And there are tough days. And you will be filled, sometimes a journey sucks. And yes, I know the struggle is real. And there are tough days and you will be filled

without, stay the course. Tough times don't last, tough people do. And keep showing up, putting in the work, serving others, doing that next right thing, and watch those doors open for you. They are opening right now for me. And I couldn't be more grateful. Definitely not the way that I thought it would come together, but

wow, it's, it's really exciting. Okay, I can't wait to tell you. All right, here's my challenges for you this week. I want you to write down something that you're looking forward to and get excited about it, right? Because life is meant to be fun and seeking joy, finding things to be joyful about every day. The reason why I'm sharing this with you is this morning I got a phone call. I was on my way to spin class and I'm so lucky and blessed to live in Miami. And so I get to walk on the beach right before spin class. And I didn't get to work out very much this week. I was so, so busy with work and I had a board meeting and I was just so many things going on this week. So I was so grateful to get the chance to work out this morning and I'm sitting on the beach

just appreciating all the beauty and where I live and feeling really grateful. I go to class, I was fired up. I was like living my best life, working out is definitely one of my favorite things to do at a given day. You gotta find time for yourself and taking care of yourself.

It is a priority. I'm walking out of that class and my phone rings And it's a really good friend of mine from home who I haven't talked to you recently I probably haven't talked to him. Gosh, and maybe like six or eight months a while and He's been a dear friend of mine since I was 15 years old and I pick up the phone and make some joke and he said yeah, hey, this is a serious phone call. And my heart fell out of my body. It was, I never anticipated it was a serious phone call.

And this just, wow, this really shook me. He was calling to let me know one of our dearest friends from my whole life that I grew up with has cancer and it's really serious and unexpected and came out of nowhere and I was in shock. It's one of those moments that, of course, I cried. I truly was in shock. I couldn't even believe it and I was just asking, you know, what do I do? Can I call him? Where is he? Is he in the hospital? What, you know, what's happening? How is his mindset? We need to pray for him. Like how, oh my gosh, should I go home right now? Like what, what's happening? It was really overwhelming. And, and couple things we did speak today and, and he is in good spirits. And I'm so, so grateful for that. And I have been praying for him today. And I just, I'll tell you, friendships and relationships

are everything. And gosh, if there's anyone in your life right now that you need to forgive, that you need to reach out to, please do it today. This was such a big reminder for me. After that phone call, I've reached out to probably 15 different people today that I just want to check in with

and let them know I love them and let them know that I'm thinking about them. Relationships really are everything. Like, and so easily we forget, because we're busy and you had to go to the grocery store and you had to drop your kid off at practice and there's pressure from work and the lease is up and you've got to find a need,

there's always nine million things going on. But today reminded me the people that really matter, that love you, that you love, that you stick by through thick and thin. Those are your people and checking on them, forgive them, reach out to them because tomorrow is not guaranteed. And I just, it's wild that this is happening in my 49th birthday and I just started realizing, oh my gosh, this year, three very close people to me have gotten cancer. And health is everything. Please take care of yourself. Please make sure that you're eating healthy,

sleeping, working out, meditating, praying, doing all the things that you can to take care of you, whatever that is, whatever that looks like. The first thing my friend said was that, gosh, I wish I had caught this sooner. I realized I hadn't been feeling well for over a year, but I hadn't done anything about it. And of course, hindsight's 2020, and you can't beat yourself up. You have to give yourself grace, but so often we're just running hard and doing the things and not taking care of ourselves and not noticing or paying attention to what really matters our health, our relationships, making ourselves a priority, sharing how we feel, asking for help, right? All these things.

And today was just one of those really, I mean, just it caused me to stop and just think, oh my gosh, I'm so grateful I'm healthy. I feel so blessed to be healthy. I'm so grateful for all of the amazing relationships. Depend on yourself if the power grid ever quits for a day or longer. January marked the third time a power station in North Carolina was damaged by gunfire recently. Authorities are saying the attack raises a new level of threat.

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Just go to indeed.com slash monahan. Indeed.com slash monahan. Terms and conditions apply. Cost per application pricing not available for everyone. Need to hire? You need Indeed. Sometimes I'll get myself hung up on, you know, why haven't I found the person I'm supposed to be married to

and this is crazy, this is taking so long, I don't understand. Today was one of those days, I just said, stop it. I have so many amazing people in my life that love me so much that I love so much. I am so lucky and blessed. I'm so blessed I have this friend that called me this morning to let me know up my other friend. I'm so blessed I have this friend that is struggling right now that he now

he knows I'm there for him. Whatever he needs, I feel so blessed. Relationships are everything. Love is everything and it's incredible that sometimes it takes these really hard moments to realize how important people are in your life and to stop thinking about the things you don't have and start being really grateful for that what you do have. And I'll tell you years ago, this is a long time ago, it was probably 10 years ago, I had a good friend of mine was one of our market managers back when I was in corporate America and I was a VP of sales for the company. So I would travel all around the country visiting our markets and our teams. And one of the women I worked with for years ended up getting cancer.

And over a two year period became incredibly ill. And I was in very close contact with her. And then at the very end, I'll never forget, she called me one day. And this was at the end. She ended up passing away a week later. She called me one day and this was at the end. She ended up passing away a week later. She called me one day and I did not pick up. And I remember, I didn't pick up because I didn't know what to say.

Conversations had gotten really hard at that point and selfishly I didn't pick up. Right, I didn't know what to say and I just felt at a loss and I panicked and I didn't pick up the phone. And she passed away, I mean within a week. So I didn't have that last phone call with her. And it really has bothered me in my life.

It's one of those things I look back on that I regret. I regret I didn't pick up the phone even though I didn't know what to say, even though I felt scared, even though I felt so uncomfortable, I wish I had picked up the phone. And better yet, I do pick up the phone today.

Like as soon as I saw my friend calling at a normal, like, oh, I gotta pick up this call. It's gotta be, you know, it could be important. Like, who knows what it is? But I will tell you this, I share that with you. I'm not beating myself up about it. I learned from it. I learned that when things get tough,

that's when people need you. That's when you need to show up. Right, and it's funny because for me, we all of our weaknesses, we all have our strong points, right? We need to celebrate our strong points and give ourselves grace and acknowledge our weaknesses. For me, for a long time, I stayed in a relationship that I had outgrown and I stayed in a job and positioned I had outgrown. And when I look back on those things, I used to say it was because of loyalty,

because I'm so loyal, which I am incredibly loyal to a fault. But now when I think back, it was also about fear of not knowing what's on that other side. So I noticed those situations, right? And I've grown from them indefinitely. I'm not doing that anymore.

I'm super proud of that, but I acknowledge it. But one thing on the other side that I learned from is that here was someone who is special to me that was important to me that I had a great relationship with for years who was reaching out to me, maybe just wanted to be heard, maybe just wanted to connect with somebody,

maybe she wanted to say goodbye. I don't even know, and I wasn't able to be there because of my own fear, right? So fear's gotten my way a lot in my life, and it's definitely something that I'm not letting control me anymore. And I don't want it to control you either. So I want to share this with you today because you matter, you need to be a priority in your life. You need to ask for help when you need it. You need to be grateful for your health, for all that you have,

just like I'm reminding myself today, I'm so grateful to be healthy, I'm so grateful for the love and the relationships that I do have in my life, even though certainly it's not perfect, right? And I haven't found everything that I want, and it's not the way that I magically want it to be. But gosh, do I feel so lucky today and so blessed.

And so grateful that my friend called me this morning and told me what was going on. People matter and people need people. And it just, wow, today really hit me. So whoever it is, please, please, please. If nothing else, please reach out to someone today to forgive them. Because when you forgive other people,

you really start forgiving yourself. And you start living a happier life And I know that to be true. I really really do know that to be true forgiveness is really about forgiving yourself and That's it's a big big deal. So I want you to forgive yourself I want you to forgive those people in your life So I want you to forgive yourself. I want you to forgive those people in your life That maybe you're harboring anger against I have two friends right now who have not been close for a little while If I had some arguments and are kind of letting it fester and I was thinking about today and

Talking to another friend about it. Life is too short. Our friend is sick and We all need each other and there's way too much good in relationships to let an argument or something stupid stands in the way, especially when we know tomorrow is not guaranteed. So whoever that person is, please call them today, please send them a note, please forgive them, please forgive yourself and know that I'm working on all this same stuff too. So I'm just feeling really, really grateful today. And really, really thankful for my friends, for these relationships that I have, for my health, for, for so much. And being really optimistic about the future. And for my friend who is that, because I know he's going to beat this. And I just And I just wanted to share it with you today

and hopes that maybe there's somebody you could reach out to that you could rekindle your friendship and relationship with again and forgive. Okay, so because it's my birthday, you know I need to ask for something. Well, and PS, I've gotten so many DMs from people, because of course I started talking about my birthday last week.

I mean, that's really impressive, people, because of course I started talking about my birthday last week. I mean, that's really impressive, Heather, ridiculous, but yes true. So I received so many DMs from people, from listeners, from you guys, by people, and saying, oh my gosh, what do you want for your birthday? You know what I want for my birthday, really? Prayer is for my friend first and foremost,

and then in prayer is for the world, right? Prayer is for all of us, but I really would so appreciate if you have read both or either of my books and they've helped you. If this show helps you if you love this show, could you please leave me a review today, either on Amazon for my books or on Apple Podcasts or Spotify or wherever you get your the show. Please leave a review. Please share it with somebody.

That would be the best gift to me. That would say to me that you like the show, you like what I'm creating, that I'm on the right path on the right track, and that something somewhere along the way is helping you. And that is what this is all about. Doing work to make the world a better place means everything to me and so do you so

Hoping that you're celebrating your wins. You've got stuff to look forward to you're taking care of yourself and you're Working on your relationships because I'm tell you that is a big priority of mine this year as I move forward and big Big things to come. I can't wait to let you know. I'm so excited Until next week keep creating your confidence confidence you know I will be! I'm Kevin Miller, a former pro-athlete author, father of nine, and self-help guide. I broadcast the self-helpful podcast from my sanctuary high up in the Colorado Rockies. I'm a fan and critic of self-help. So I invite today's most important influencers to grapple with their own wisdom and stories

in an authentic, relatable conversation about self-help and what drives them. With each guest, I conduct a four-part series that distills the guest's greatest wisdom and methodologies and to practical transformative steps that you and I can use to create our path to a life of growth, freedom and fulfillment. These unique conversations and candid explorations of paradigm shifting perspectives is why the Self-Help-Old Podcast has been downloaded over 60 million times by people like you and

me who take responsibility for our personal evolution. Change comes through connection and personal experience and this is what I strive to deliver with the self-helpful podcast. I invite you to join me as we elevate our personal experience of life and the way we show up for others. This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network. I'm Hala Taha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young and Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On Young and Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world, and I turn

their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week, we dive into a new topic like the Art of Side Hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion and goal setting. I interview A-List guests on Young & Profiting. I've got the best guests. Like the world's number one negotiation expert, Chris Voss, Shark, Damon John, serial entrepreneurs, Alex and Leila Hermosi, and even movie stars like Matthew McConaughey. There's absolutely no fluff on my podcast and that's on purpose. Every episode is jam packed with advice that's going to push your life forward. I do my

research, I get straight to the point, and I take things really seriously, which is why I'm known as the podcast princess and how I became one of the top podcasters in the world in less than five years. Young and profiting podcasts is for all ages. Don't let the name fool you. It's an advanced show. As long as you want to learn and level up, you will be forever young. So join podcast royalty and subscribe to Young and Profiting Podcast. Or, yeah, like it's often called by my app fam on Apple Spotify, Cast Box, or wherever you listen to your podcast. you