Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #354: EMBRACE Uncertainty & Keep Showing up With Heather!

Episode Date: September 6, 2023

To check out OneSkin click here! https://shareasale.com/u.cfm?d=1054216&m=102446&u=3821794&afftrack= To get your 15% one time use discount use code: Confidence Remember if you opt in for the subscription you can cancel any time but you can only use the discount code once. Overcome Your Villains is ON SALE on Amazon right now In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Embracing uncertainty  How to create a compound effect with LinkedIn & podcasting The power of faith & possibility Take the messy action Resources: Visit heathermonahan.com Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/monahan Go to bit.ly/pipedrive-confidence for a 14-day free trial and get 20% off Pipedrive for 1 year! Go to cozyearth.com and get up to 35% off site wide when you use the code “CONFIDENCE” Show Notes:  You can’t control everything but you CAN control how you show up! Always! Life threw some curveballs my way, however, I've learned that when we BELIEVE and have faith, even in the face of uncertainty and fear, amazing things start happening. And boy, am I living proof of that! Learn how I’ve created a compound effect by investing my time and energy on LinkedIn and with podcasting to open doors, attract business opportunities, and boost my name recognition and you can do it too! Anything is TRULY possible if you open up to the possibilities and continue to show up. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Overcome adversity and set you up for better tomorrow. That's your new seat, you know. I'm ready for my close time. Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, so a lot going on, a lot of great things are happening. I'll tell you, I've learned that living in uncertainty

means living in possibility, right? And when you get really excited about things being uncertain, that's when great things are going to start happening for you. I know it. I'm living it. Trust me on this one. Start getting excited. I used to feel fearful.

I wanted to control everything, be able to predict everything. That was when I was in corporate. And it was that way for a long time. But it wasn't exciting and full of joy. You know, it was okay. And there was plenty of good things. However, I would never go back to living like that again. No way, versus living in the possibility and the magic of life literally. Okay. So one year ago, this is so crazy. I was just thinking about this. One year ago, I was on the verge of selling my condo that I had owned for 17 years, hadn't moved in 17 years, and like four deals had fallen through at this point in time.

And I was so stressed out because I wanted to get off the beach so badly, it was such a long drive from my son to school, it was just a headache and a half. And I really wanted it to be done. But I was so stressing out. It was awful. I couldn't control it. And I wasn't just letting go and surrendering and being at peace knowing it would happen. I was like trying to strangle the air. I was so frustrated. Anyhow, cut to now. Finally, one of the deals ended up closing at the last minute, and not without some major issues, but it worked out. And then the place I wanted so badly to move into

was off the market days before I closed, so I lost the place I wanted. But then some miracles just started happening and the most incredible place in the world opened up. And I found it, and I never even knew this place existed and it was literally like, God just showed me the way and miracles started happening and we've loved living here.

Now, my lease is expiring, right? So there's all this uncertainty again, but this time it's a year later, so much has happened, not all good by the way. I fell down the stairs. Last year, I got my heart broken last year. There were some really hard moments. However, I will tell you that I am in such a better place now than I was a year ago.

It's incredible, and so much of it has to do with my faith, my belief that I'm being guided and divinely led, and looking at the facts in my life over the last year. It's literally been the most incredible year of my life in so many regards. So I will just say that letting go, let God surrender, don't try to struggle and force things when you can move into that and get excited about the possibility. Excited about the uncertainty? That's one great thing is they're going to start happening. It certainly has been that way for me. I am living it. Like I'm so clear on it. And it was funny. I did an interview. I end up doing a bunch of podcast episodes usually within one day or two days to try to get ahead of you know planning content. The other day I was doing a bunch in one day and at the end of the day I was on with someone who's more of

a friend of mine but a great guest and he was explaining his story and he just kept saying, Heather, I didn't know what was going to happen, but I just believed. I kept believing through the uncertainty, through the fear, through the not knowing I believed. It just really resonated with me because he's right. When you just believe and have faith, not knowing what's going to happen, having no flipping clue, that's when things really start to work out for you. And it's so, so true. And I'm so living it right now.

And I'm so excited. I can't wait to tell you about these incredible things that are happening right now for me. It's just, it's a function of a couple of different things, right? Putting hard work in, I'm not gonna lie, right? I work really, really hard, and I work a lot. But I love what I do, right? And PS, I was this way, even when I was in corporate,

I worked a lot too. But I will just say that I have a very strong work ethic and I know that I'm doing good in the world and I'm helping others and God put us on this planet with purpose and you know, we're supposed to help other people and live out our life's work. And knowing that, gosh, how can I not? Right, I get so excited to do the things that I get the opportunity to do. I'm so grateful for it. However, there are windows of time, even in the last few years where I say, gosh, I'm working so hard.

I know I'm living out my life's purpose. I know I'm doing the right work. I can feel it in my heart of hearts. I know I'm helping people. I get the messages, right? Why aren't things connecting a little bit easier? Why is it hard? And I don't have those answers, right? Why aren't things connecting a little bit easier? Why is it hard? And I don't have those answers, right?

I just keep going. And then every once in a while, something incredible will happen. And it just makes you realize, I've got to just let go. I've got a surrender. Yeah, everything isn't going to always be easy. No, everything is not just going to be seamless and rainbows and lollipops.

But if I can work through the challenges, all that goods can be on the other side. And it truly is that way. So I can't wait. I'm in a window right now of so many great things happening, and I just can't wait to share it all with you. I cannot wait. I'm so, so, so excited.

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and John Maxwell at one of his events and he had James Clear in to speak. There was this one takeaway that took from James Clear, super nice guy, very cool, really smart guy. One of the things that he shared that was really impactful for me was a round-ass idea of spend time and do things that have a compound effect. Meaning, his example was when he was first getting going, he would just do radio show after radio show

But that doesn't have a compound effect because somebody listens to it for that moment It's on and then disappears forever what he learned was doing podcasts that live on forever that people listen to years later Is a better plan and better strategy for him because there's a long tail long-term impact So I started thinking in my life like what are the things that I've done that have a compound effect? And I'll tell you, going on LinkedIn, investing my time, effort, and energy on LinkedIn, has a huge, massive compound effect.

Let me explain. Showing up there and posting every day, it just doesn't disappear. It's community, and you develop a name for yourself and a credibility and a reputation. And it's attracted so much business into my life, it's incredible, but then also as a result of that, and growing a brand, and growing a personal brand,

with forward-facing personal brand for business, people recognize me and know who I am, and it's helped with elevating my name recognition, which is how I became known by real leaders, who has nominated me for top 40 female speaker in the world, top 50 keynote speaker in the world, like so many incredible things, right? So that none of that would happen without LinkedIn. LinkedIn reached out to me a year or two ago and put me on one of their creator teams, which is incredible. So they're always sharing things with me, helping me, supporting me, sending me things. It's a great relationship that they've built with a number of different creators on LinkedIn.

And I'm lucky to be one, but I'm one because I post every day, right? So, and I've been doing it now for six years. So, there's that. Then, last week I get a message from someone at LinkedIn saying, we want to feature you in one of our newsletters, which means they want to take something that I wrote, a post that I created, and go put it in their newsletter, which has millions of subscribers, long tail compound effect.

Right, so that post that I created lives on so much longer, and it's going to reach so many more people as a result of all of these opportunities that percolate from this community. So LinkedIn's really been this compound effect for me that's just been so incredible. Think in your life, like where are those compound effects? Where can and should you and where have you spent time that has that long tail effect that continues to impact your business?

And think about how can you spend more time doing things that have that longer tail impact? Because that's working smarter. Instead of just doing a radio show and it disappears, do the podcast episodes that are there forever. It was such a great analogy. An example, he gave us the one thing that really stood out to me was LinkedIn. Yes, going on podcast, too, of course. This podcast right here, shout out to you for Listig. Thanks so much for Listig. But I really just feel like

LinkedIn's been, and this is not an ad for LinkedIn by the way, but LinkedIn has been an incredible long tail positive business impact for me and I'm so so grateful for it. But then podcasts have too, right? Because I'll tell you when you end up hearing what's going on this week, there's two incredible things. And neither one of them would have happened if it wasn't for podcasts. And that's how I got to meet these people.

That's how I got to serve these people. That's how I got to get connected to these people, re-engage with these people, to totally different people, to totally different companies, incredible opportunities. And they all started with the podcast. So think to yourself, what are those compound events that you've been engaging in, or that you want to start engaging and moving forward?

How can you do more of that and step away from the one and done? Because the one and done, it takes just as much time for someone to do a radio show as it would to do a podcast, but to James Clears Point, the podcast is going to live on forever. The radio show is going to be gone in a minute. Spend your time, your energy, and your effort and the places that you get the most bang for your buck, the strongest ROI. So I'm definitely thinking about everything I do in that regard. And oh my gosh, my book. So this is super interesting. Good things take time, great things, sometimes take a little bit longer. As you know, I wrote Overcome Your Villains in 2021

and wouldn't you know that Amazon today decided to feature it for $5.80 for the hardcover. That's 80% off. I don't know how Amazon picks to feature books like this. Why, if it has something to do, book sales, I have no clue. I'm just so how Amazon picks to feature books like this. Why? If it has something to do. Books sales, I have no clue. I'm just so grateful they did it, right? So I was so happy to be able to share that with everybody with you right now. If you haven't gotten a copy of Overcome Your Villains yet, it's not going to be cheaper. This is the cheapest it's ever been. Harpercons certainly

isn't going to discount it like this. Go to Amazon right now, get the hardcover, which is usually $25. I think it's on sale for $5.80. And if you already have one, please buy one for someone that you think it can benefit because I'm so grateful they put it on sale and featured it and gosh, you just, you never know what's gonna happen next.

That's why you just gotta keep showing up, keep putting the work in. There are forces out there that are at work and opportunities that are gonna rise that you have no control over, but can benefit you immensely. And that's what this week is all about for me. So it's wild, it's so crazy. And I'll tell you, the more you do things that are scary, that are big, the more accustomed

you get walking into these scary and big situations, the more normal they feel. This week is massive for me, but because I've walked into so many scary big weeks over the last few years, it kind of feels normal, which is so surreal and crazy and exciting. I don't feel nervous, I feel super, super excited, and that's a really good feeling,

and that's something that I want for you. It's someone of my mastermind told me yesterday that she just signed up for a stand-up comedy class. And that's, I wrote about this in my first book, Confidence Creator. You know, when someone was saying to me, get out of your comfort zone. You're just in a rut.

You've been doing the same thing too long. He challenged me to sign up for a stand-up comedy class. I did it. It was so weird, but it taught me this lesson that I'm really good on the fly on stage. And I thought everybody was good at that. I just didn't think about it. And that plan to see it in my mind that then took hold and ended up inevitably me launching my speaking career, which is one of my most fun things to do. I'm most passionate about. I flip and

love it. And gosh, this week has two huge things around that that's just so wild. But all this stuff has to begin somewhere. So start with some crappy stand-up comedy class that I didn't want to go to that ended up opening my eyes to something that ended up being a path forward for me that I didn't even know existed. Take the messy action.

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And very often people talk about a confidence loop, and it's looped with experience, right? So like the more you do something, the more confident you become at it. It's called competence builds confidence. Okay, competence being the more you've done something, the more experience you have doing it, the more reps you put in, the stronger you get, the more competence you have, the more confident you get. I've heard that often, I know you've heard that, and it's true, right?

The more speeches I give, the more confident I get, giving a speech. Of course, it's obvious. However, I really like this article. This article says, let's challenge the way we do it. Instead of just saying the best way to build confidence is to just do the thing, which is true. It does help.

It does work. He's saying instead of saying to people, you can do it. Go for it. Instead, he wants you to make it like a relationship instead of a task. So instead of looking at building confidence as a task, look at it as the relationships you have with other people. So he says, stop telling people, you got this, like you can go for it, go do it, the task.

He says instead, tell them, I got you. No matter what happens, no matter if you fail, no matter if you blow up, like you do a horrible job, doesn't matter, I got you, I stand here with you, no matter what. So instead of looking at building confidence as doing the work in the task, look at it as building the relationship

and backing the person. And I thought that was really cool and true. I'm always interested in the different ways to build confidence, as you know, as confidence is a one thing that changes everything. So it is true and this has a lot to do like with overcoming your villains, getting rid of negative people in your life and finding people who are your right or die changes everything. So it is true. And this has a lot to do with overcome your villains,

getting rid of negative people in your life and finding people who are your right or die, who aren't just in your circle, they're in your corner, right? They've got your back, and they're a champion with you, regardless of the outcomes, regardless of if you're currently winning or losing, it's irrelevant to them, because I stand with you. And by the way, I got you. All right. So if you're not feeling confident right now, I want you to know that I got you, you are safe. You need to try new things. I'm your girl. It's going to be cheering you on regardless of those outcomes. So he has rewritten this thing as the connection confidence loop. And it's all about relationship, not about the

task. And it's about supporting other people, regardless of the outcome, staying connected to them, you know, encouraging them, standing by them regardless of what happens, and continuing to encourage and support them, and that that is giving true confidence regardless of failure, regardless of wins, but it's through the relationship and support. And I thought that was really beautiful. I think it's very true. And I also still believe the other one works too, right? So I do believe, hey, you got this, you can do this. Go put the reps in.

The more you do it, the better you're gonna get. You just haven't mastered it yet, but you will. And then I also believe in I got you too. So I want you to know, I do have you, regardless of if you fail, regardless of if it goes great. I'm gonna be here week and week out with you. I've got your back. And I want you to know that you are not alone because you aren't. And the more I was thinking about

that, the more I realized, the biggest game changer in my life from one year ago when I was freaking out about the deal closing and not knowing what to do and trying to control and lose my mind to now, when I'm facing just as much uncertainty if not more, is that I know I'm not alone because I know God is with me. And that's my faith. So no matter what you believe, higher power, religion, universe, Jesus Christ, whatever that is for you, faith is such a powerful thing. And so similar to this psychology today article

about that relationship that you're not alone. So yes, it does matter to me the people I have in my life and I want right or die. I don't want people who are just in my circle and not in my corner, right? I fire those villains and drop them as fast as possible. I want the people that are really there to stand by me regardless of the outcomes.

And I'm so grateful to have so many incredible people in my life, so thankful, so grateful. But that most important relationship for me is with my faith with Jesus Christ and knowing, I'm never alone. And that is an incredible thing. So it was funny last night I was watching on Netflix a special about health and longevity

and like what are the secrets to I thought it was just going to be about food and exercise. I don't know why, but it wasn't this guy's researching all around the world. Super interesting show. I have to figure out the name of it so I can let you know I'm actually going to have a guy on the show as a guest so you'll meet him. He'll tell you a lot more than I'm going to tell you, but the crux of it is this. Yes, of course. What you choose to eat, how much you sleep, and working out. Those three things are huge in longevity and, you know,

staying healthy and having a happy life. But the other things were core strength, which I thought was super interesting. Meditation, religion. These were all the keys that this person has found, literally meeting with thousands of people all around the world and relationships. So, so interesting to me that strengthening your relationship with your faith, with God is so powerful, it's so meaningful, and it literally changes the joy factor, happiness factor, and the longevity, how long you will live. So something to think about, again,

I'm not trying to hit anybody over the head or say that I've got it all figured out for you. I'm starting to figure it out for me, and that makes me feel incredibly grateful, thankful. Gosh, I'm so grateful and God is so good in my life. So, all right, I am cheering you on. I am interested to know what you think or how you think your confidence is built. Always looking to get better, always looking to find new ways.

I can't wait to tell you what's going on this week. So, hopefully next week I can give you more intel. Oh my gosh. I'm so grateful. I'm so amazed. Believe that anything is possible because I promise you this. I'm living it. Anything is truly. See it in your mind. Create that vision. And let go and let go. And just watch and see what's going to happen. Life is so good. We are so blessed every day as a blessing. I feel grateful.

I'm so grateful you're here. I'm thankful for you. What are you grateful for today? Write it down. Write it down at a gratitude journal. It's so powerful. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. I can't wait to tell you what's going on. Keep telling me I'm really excited, I'm super excited. I hope what are you excited for? I hope you're excited for something. It's always so helpful to have something to look forward to. So what are you looking forward to? Get excited. Start creating joy in your life and start watching it grow. Okay, until next week, keep creating your confidence.

You don't have to. I will be. I will be. I will be. I decided to change that tiny and the thing that I feel like. I couldn't be more excited than for what you're going to hear. Start learning and growing inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone.

You don't stop and look around once in a while. You can miss it. I'm on this journey with me. I hope you're enjoying this episode so far. I'm Jennifer Cohen, host the top ranking business and entrepreneur podcast, Habits and Hustle, apart the YAP media network, the number one business and self-improvement podcast network. So most people live the life they get

and not the life they want. And I'm here to change all that. My goal with each episode is to give you the habits and hustle tips you need to show up to your life better, bigger and bolder. Tune in now, and I'll not only help you answer the questions like, what do you want most in life, and why don't you have it, but we'll also help you

make it a reality. I also pick the brains of top thought leaders on how they've gone to the top, and the advice they have to help you get there too. Head over to Happets and Hustle. Once you've done listening to this episode, and get one step closer to boldness, one episode at a time. This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network. I'm Holla Taha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young & Profiting podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On Young & Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world and I turn

their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week we dive into a new topic like the Art of Side Hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion and goal setting. I interview A-list guests on Young & Profiting. I've got the best guests. Like the world's number one negotiation expert, Chris Voss, Shark Damon John, serial entrepreneurs, Alex and Leila Hermosi, and even movie stars like Matthew McConaughey. There's absolutely no fluff on my podcast, and that's on purpose. Every episode is jam-packed with advice that's

gonna push your life forward. I do my research, I get straight to the point, and I take things really seriously, which is why I'm known as the podcast princess, and how I became one of the top podcasters in the world in less than five years. Young and profiting podcast is for all ages. Don't let the name fool you. It's an advanced show. As long as you want to learn and level up, you will be forever young. So join podcast royalty and subscribe to Younger Profiting Podcast. Or, yeah, like it's often called by my app fam. On Apple Spotify, CastBox, or wherever you listen to your podcast.