Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #356: Embrace, Thrive, & Transform Your Life With The Power of CHANGE With Heather!

Episode Date: September 13, 2023

To check out OneSkin click here! https://shareasale.com/u.cfm?d=1054216&m=102446&u=3821794&afftrack= To get your 15% one time use discount use code: Confidence Remember if you opt in for the subscription you can cancel any time but you can only use the discount code once. In This Episode You Will Learn About: The best ways to manage change Turning towards the unknown despite being afraid Embracing opportunities to grow The downsides to staying locked in your routine Resources: Visit heathermonahan.com Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Visit Indeed.com/monahan to start hiring now.  Go to bit.ly/pipedrive-confidence for a 14-day free trial and get 20% off Pipedrive for 1 year! Go to cozyearth.com and get up to 35% off site wide when you use the code “CONFIDENCE” Get 55% off at Babbel.com/CONFIDENCE  Go to 4Patriots.com and use code CONFIDENCE to get 10% off. Show Notes:  The issue everyone is talking about nowadays is how to deal with change! While we do our best to avoid it, change is everywhere. But it doesn’t have to be a bad thing! This week I decided to lean into the unknown and see what it had to teach me. Change is a catalyst for growth! And by getting lost we can finally find our way. Trust yourself and those around you. Find the benefits of the new way and get ready to leave the past behind! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, you are going to chase down our goals. Overcome adversity and set you up for better tomorrow. That's a no-sleep journey. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week.

Okay, it's been a crazy, crazy week. I don't know how your week has been. It has been intense, But I'll tell you, it's funny because if you want great things to happen, you got to swing for the fences, right? So you need to put yourself out there. You need to do a lot of things, right? If success was easy, everybody would have it. I'm exhausted right now as I'm sitting here talking to you and I am telling you that I'm seeing you're thinking like, why in the world do I do all of this stuff? But why?

What? So I can sit at home on Sunday and just be so tired I'm falling apart. But then when I think about what I accomplished this week, I'm so proud of me. Do you ever have those moments when you work super, super hard? You start getting some momentum. Big things start happening. Nothing's guaranteed. You think it's going well, but you're not certain, right?

You're not there yet, but it takes a lot of flipping work. So I just want you to know wherever you are in your journey. And this was the same actually when I was in corporate America. You know, I sacrificed so much for 14 years. I was traveling every single week and I gave up so much to make it to the C-suite. It was not easy at all. I know on the outside looking and sometimes people assume it's easy or something looks easy. It definitely isn't that way.

This week was one of those weeks. If you really want to go for something bigger and have to put in that extra work, just push. And so this was a real big push week. I was in Arizona for three days. I went for Arizona. I had to write a speech, give a speech, do a live Q&A with a huge audience. didn't know what that was going to be about. Then I had to film a course for four hours. I really didn't know what to expect walking in. And it worked out great.

Everything I'm so proud of how, you know, what we came up with in the end and how everything went. But those moments, I'll tell you, the only way those things come together are when you trust yourself, right? You have to put the work in for sure. It was not the first time I did a video course. I've done many. You know, it's not the first time I've taught the material I was teaching.

I've taught it many times. I've given thousands of speeches, right? So I've done the work to get me there, but still when you're on a new stage, you're with a new team, there's gonna be different pressure and new unknowns, but the more you put yourself in these uncertain situations, the more you can trust yourself that you know, okay, I pulled it off before, I'm gonna pull this off too, and pray, right?

And definitely pray, ask God for help and guidance, which I definitely did. So, I'm super proud of how that went. It was a tremendous amount of work, but it went really, really well. Nothing's a guarantee, you know, some of it's still up in the air and you have to see how some of it comes together. And it's more on all of that soon, but I'm really proud of myself. But of course, I was really tired when I got back and I had one day to catch up on my email and write a speech and a workshop on change. Here's what's interesting is this is not something until the last month I've done a lot of.

When you do something all the time, it's a lot easier, right? Because you know, oh, I can totally trust myself on this, I've done it a million times. It becomes a little bit scarier, harder when you haven't done it thousands of times. So it's interesting. I typically get hired for speeches around sales, sales leadership, and confidence building.

Right, those are the three topics that I'm typically brought in for. Sometimes for innovation, right, sometimes different variations around these topics. But the last month, the number one topics I've been brought into speak for are change, which is really interesting because it tells me something that there's something going on with companies right now. They're struggling with change, right? And I've had to create new content to address that. And anytime you're going to create anything new, you have to test

and try. And it's funny, somebody was messaging me a DM on LinkedIn yesterday asking me all these questions about, should I give a talk on this and, oh, should I do this? And you just got to test and try it. I don't have all the answers. I'm not your audience, right? You got to test the content in front of the audience. Data doesn't lie, and it will show you which way to go. So you have to on some level, trust yourself and be okay with failing, or not nailing it perfectly at first, right?

So that's why I love social media because you can use it as a place and a platform to test and try your content. No one is nailing it every single time. Go look at anyone with massive audiences. Some of their posts aren't gonna do as well. Just go look at GaryVee, right? The guys millions and millions of followers.

Some of his posts just don't land. That's the way for everybody. If you're testing and trying and growing and you need to be growing because everything is constantly changing. That is the one constant is change. And it's so interesting to me that that's the biggest topic lately

that I've been hired to speak on. So I have to get back from Arizona. I came back to Miami for one day. And then I had to go give a speech and a workshop on change for a company, private company. So it was a much smaller audience than I'm used to, which is interesting because like anything, the boy you get used to something, the bigger stages you take, right? The one in Arizona was a huge audience. So you take these big stages, you start getting used to that.

So then suddenly it's a small group, right? I think it was 30 people and it's an interactive workshop, which I've done, but I haven't done thousands of them. Suddenly I'm like, whoa, wait a whoa, this is a little different, right? Oh gosh, I hope this is the right material. So one of the things that I did, I had one day, right, when I got back, because one thing I've become really good at is I put a pin in things. So when I'm leaving Miami, and I'm prepping the speech, the Q&A, and the video course,

I'm working on all those things, the week leading up. I have a pin in that when I get back, I've got a speech in a workshop as soon as I get back. But I know I trust myself because I've done it enough time so that I can come up with that relatively quickly. So I just put a pin in it, I trust me, and I say focus on what's ahead of me for Arizona right now.

I get there, I do that work, I focus 100% intently on that work. Then I come home and I know I have that day to regroup, unpack, repack, and organize for what does this look like. So when I got home, I remember thinking to myself, okay, I've done a talk on change before, so I map it out, right? I create like an outline. And it's very time-sensitive, right? It's been 24 hours, so you need to really laser sharp focus and get the work done. There's no time to dilly dally around.

Now I had had a pre-call with this client ahead of time and they have a new sales leader. So it was the owner, the CEO of the company, the founder, and this new sales leader and myself. And I've given speeches for this company before. So I know the background on the organization. But we went through pre-call to ask, what are your goals for the event? What do you want this to look like?

What do you want people leaving saying? And it was all around that we want people crystal clear that change is not always easy. In fact, there's many times it's challenging, but embracing the change, leaving the company with change is going to be a win for you and for everybody. How they're, you know, make that happen. So I was really excited about it actually because it was a little different for me. And so the goal was to have me do a talk for, you know, 40 minutes and then do a live workshop, interactive workshop for 50 minutes. So it was kind of cool. Again, I hadn't done something like this in a while and had never done it on the topic of change.

So I have to challenge, right? A personal challenge. I do get excited about challenges. And so when I had that 24 hours to outline everything and go through the speech part, I know that part. I felt really confident and comfortable because I've done it many times. But the workshop part, the interactive part, I thought, well, this is a little different because I've done workshops, but not a lot on change and change management. So I want to test and try my material. Right? And this happens to all of us. And so I reached out to one of the employees at this company used to work for me years

ago. And so I reached out to her privately. And I said, can you jump on a call with me for 15 minutes? I want to run some concepts by you. And just get your feedback. The thing about running your own business is every single higher accounts and no hiring partner understands that like indeed, indeed is a hiring platform where you can attract interview and hire all in one place. Don't spend hours on multiple job sites looking for candidates with the right skills when you can do it all with indeed.

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She was able to give me a little color, which is super helpful. Information is power. Right? And so I was hearing that it was all about change and every meeting they were going into was so much change happening at the company and so and so was let go and so and so was hired. And there was new people everywhere and old people were gone and major, major change. So there's obviously a lot of back conversations and side stories going on.

She was helping me to immerse myself in the event before I got there, which is super, super helpful, right? The more we can visualize it, see it and immerse ourselves in it, understand it, the better job we can do, because we have context, right? Walking into something blind is never the best situation. Never. For anything, for any meeting, you know, you want to have color and insight. Just gonna empower you to Relate better to people and what they're going through. So she was helping me to put myself in their shoes Which was they're scared and uncertain and don't know what's happening and and when change like that happens

There's a lot of fear fear of of the unknown, fear of uncertainty, fear of what is that next change going to be? Like when will it change stop, fear of job security, there's so much unknown, so much uncertainty and so much fear swirling. And oftentimes there's one or two individuals that will get really scared or really negative and start spinning up negative conversations about the company and really pouring gasoline on something that doesn't, I've seen that many times in business. And it can really dampen the culture and attitude of the team. So I knew that going into this, okay, she helped me paint the picture. I understood what was going on.

I shared with her some of the questions I was thinking. She gave me some that she thought would be good. So I mapped out this outline. I wrote out at first I started with 10 questions that I could ask the team. But then after talking to her I came up with another 15. So I had about 25. And again, I don't know that I'm going to use them all, but I like to be over prepared.

I want to have more than what I'm going to need when I walk into an environment and give myself options. Because in real time, you're getting feedback based on your talk and that might lead you to say, oh I don't really want to go this direction, I think this direction is better. I like to be able to do that and again you've got to trust yourself, we just got to say, I'm not exactly sure how it's going to turn out, this is so what happened in Arizona too, bouncing back to Arizona for a second but just to share with you, it's always important to trust yourself, to listen to you, listen to your intuition,

you will know I had mapped out a few different options for Arizona in and around the course that they had me doing. We had four hours to film this course. And I had never worked with this team before. I'd never worked for this company before. I'd never worked in an environment like this before. It was very different. I didn't know what to expect.

And I didn't have anyone on the inside, right? So I'd made some really close relationships quickly in the last couple of weeks, but still, we hadn't known each other for years and there was, you know, we didn't have huge trust amongst each other. So I got as much information as I could, but wasn't getting the kind of information that I got from my employee that worked for me for six years with the workshop I was just sharing with you. So I was at a little bit of a deficit

not knowing what I was walking into. I mapped out a couple of different options. In my mind, I thought, if it's gonna be very scripted, I'm gonna go this angle, and if I'm gonna just kinda wing it and just speak for my heart and from my experience and expertise, I'm gonna go this direction.

So I had mapped out two different paths, not sure which way we would go. And I just trusted that the way we'll reveal itself when I get there, I'll know when I get there. And so they kept pressuring me. It was kind of funny leading up to arriving in Arizona. They were sending me messages like, Heather, you need to submit this stuff to us ahead of time. We want to see it.

And I didn't want to. I delayed on that because I wasn't sure which approach would be the right approach for me. And I basically told them that I said, listen, I've done the work. Don't worry. We're going to get everything done that day and we'll get it done under time. I promise you that I know that I'm certain of it. However, I'm just not sure of which direction to go. And

I said, I will send you an outline. I will send you my notes, but it's not like a script right now. I need you to trust me on it. And they did. And they were very gracious. And so, but I could tell it was stressful for them because they're not used to working that way. So anytime it was the first time you work with someone, you need to build that rapport. You need to build that trust. It's easier to do that if you've worked with someone a multitude of times. They had not worked with me a multitude of times. This is our first time. So anyhow, so there was different people in charge of all the different events and different things we were doing. And the one woman that was in charge of the actual video

course, I just asked her to trust me. And luckily for me, that was the last project we worked on while I was in Arizona And so she had some exposure to me So now at this point she did have some trust with me, right? And so it was cool because I Said to her we're walking in the film right now, and I'm still not certain what the right approach is I said will you work with me and be fluid? Meaning if we don't like how it's going in this way can we switch it up and try it that way? And she said yeah, okay, can we switch it up and try it that way?

And she said, yeah, okay, let's do it. Now, of course, they don't want to be there for 10 hours and editing things, right? I know that's their concern. For sure, they do this every, you know, couple of days with the people they typically work with. I was the new guy that no one really knew yet. And so it was just an interesting dynamic.

She was great. Definitely was so fluid with me. What ended up being really cool is that at first, I was just winging it and going by my gut and it was working really, really well for maybe, you know, the first 30, 35% of the video course. And then it got to this other part and I just didn't feel as confident.

I said, can we try switching it up and go more to like a bullet point type plan here instead of me just speaking for my heart. And so we switched that up. And then we got to one point and I said, can we try it, script it? I just wanna see how that feels. So we ended up trying it

every single different way possible, which was shocking to me. I never thought that was going to happen. And each area, it worked out better that we tried the different approach. So it was great that we started with me just, you know, winging it and speaking. And I'm grateful for this podcast because that's how I record these episodes. I have experience doing that now. So I trust myself what I'm in an environment like that. And so there was a portion that worked, but then there was a portion that had to be really really More tighter and bullet pointed and so we used the bullet point outline on that one And then there was a portion that really needed to be scripted. It was clear once we were there

And so we did the scripted portion. I can't wait to see the final end result She loved it. She said she loved using the different approaches altogether. They hadn't done that before, or maybe one experience they had done that. So it was just unique. It was different. And I think it's so important to just trust yourself and trust the people you work with. And again, that happens over time. It was a lot of work, but it was a great experience. Cut to, I applied that same rationale and reasoning to this workshop going and saying okay this one I don't have a lot of expertise or experience around but I'm gonna go and trust myself and I built out more than enough questions Right, so I had that backing if I needed it to fall back on I had done the work

I built out 25 or something questions which you just do the math right 50 minutes There's no way it takes a lot longer than two minutes to get through a question with a team of people. So I knew I had way too many questions, but that was good. I wanted to have too much, and I wanted to focus on me in my top 10 that I really liked. And it ended up going incredible. I mean, incredible. It was so, so good, so powerful. And when you're in a smaller environment like that, what's cool is you get to hear people's answers. And so I'll tell you, this reminds me of during the pandemic. This is kind of where I pulled from. I had a really hard time with a pandemic. I'm a single mother and my business disappeared overnight.

And I really hit the panic button. My son, his dog died. He lost sports. He was isolated at home. It was an awful situation. We were living in a two-bedroom condo at the time. It was a challenge, right? It was challenging times. And I was really freaking out. And a friend of mine sent me this really cool email from a shaman that he works with and gave me an exercise to help me let go of the past, the way that life had been before quarantine and

embrace what was happening in that moment. And I didn't want to do it. I didn't like it. Just like so much change, we don't like it. But I want to read a little bit from this email he sent me because this is what set me up to do my change workshop. Or this was the mental state I approached it from, which was super helpful. And it reminded me of back in this time during quarantine.

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Recently, however, the city began a major road repair and utility project. Now, on each day of commute, we navigate a shifting landscape of blaze-orange signage and cones as the workers move between several main thoroughways. Predictably, my first reaction was frustration. It sounds like me. The wrinkles that emerged in my forehead seemed to protest. How dare you upset my routine? We want our routine back, but now two full weeks in. I know every

back road in Side Street in this town that I didn't know previously. I pass countless gardens that I would never have beheld while blazing down the main drag. I'm reminded that there are no straight lines in the natural world. We know the why pass too well, the highways, the familiar brands, the safe path of blending and the reliability of the conventional choice. We know the facts and figures, timelines and probabilities. That's knowledge, but I bet that you two here, the deeper calling of the things we don't know. Wisdom is far more fluid than knowledge. The more we tighten our grip, the more it slips through our fingers. Wisdom can sometimes hide more in what is unsaid than what is said. Wisdom seeks the gaps and fixtures so that it can freely unfurl. It takes humility to intentionally turn towards what we don't know. It takes courage to make space for the fertile soil

of messiness and unpredictability, where words and systems break apart, wisdom can enter through the cracks. Out beyond what we don't know are many things that simply can't be known. Questions whose value is in their very unanswerability. Mystery is all around us. It's a long email, I'm not going to read the whole thing to you,

but the whole point is that it's the mystery of the unknown, the embracing of, instead of focusing on the frustration, it's sort of embracing that we do have a detour, and this detour has a possibility to be a really beautiful thing. When our best laid plans are dashed, I'm reminded of the coyote, the trickster. Coyote is the animal medicine that can reveal our blind spots while teaching us to laugh at ourselves. Can we welcome the unpredictable and even the destructive as wisdom teachers? Can we make space for what we know to crumble? Can we find beauty in the breakdown? Let's pledge to remind each other that we can soften that blow with laughter. I loved that and I saved it. So in the end, and in closing in his email, I said,

so are we willing to get lost in order to find our way when something goes wrong? Notice your first reaction. Then lay it calmly aside. Take that opportunity to experience the freshness of a moment, that opportunity to experience the freshness of a moment not shaped by you. It is a mysterious gift of wisdom. I wish for you not mere ease and well-being. No, I like you too much for that. Instead, I wish for you just the right amount of challenge to inspire your growth and propel you into your full potential. I love that.

I think it's so well said, it's so true, it's so beautiful. And one of the exercises that I gave to the team, and it was actually, in my opinion, the best one, which really helps you to break connections to the past and the way things used to be, is to write out a list and you should do this. If there's anything you're struggling with,

like any change that you're being confronted with or that you've gone through, that you're saying, gosh, I've got to figure out a better way to manage it. For me, this is what I did during the pandemic. It helped immensely. And for me, in the workshop, this is what I shared with the team and had them go through this exercise so that they could see things differently

for the people who were hanging on to the way that it used to be. And it worked in real time. I'm telling you, it was so exciting to see and to hear the feedback from these guys. Okay, so a list of the benefits, as a result of the new changes you're facing. So for me and COVID, it was writing out a list

of the virtual world and not being out of the home, you know, during quarantine. What were the list of potential benefits of those new changes? You know, so that's like, I could do so many more speeches because of Zoom. I was meeting people I typically would never have met before all across the United States and the world. There was a lot that I had to write out. I didn't like doing it, but I made myself do it. The second part of this exercise is a list of the drawbacks and disadvantages of the old way. So for me, that was a list of things that were bad

about pre-COVID. I traveled too much. I was always on planes. I spent a lot of time in airports. I was awake from my son a lot. Now I got to be with my son every day, right? Like, so it's forcing you to sit down and break the emotional attachment to how things used to be and embrace how things currently are. So for you, list out the potential benefits or the benefits of the new changes of what you're dealing with in your life. The same time, list out the drawbacks and disadvantages of the old way. And during this workshop, one of the cool things that came up and so many of the people

said it out loud during the actual workshop and then they also came up to me afterwards and told me privately was that prior to all the changes that had just been implemented at the company, which were causing uncertainty, fear, you know all the things, that when they look back on it now, after going through that exercise, they realized they weren't really that challenged

the people around them. There were people who were complacent, which told them it was okay for them to not push themselves too much. There weren't real all-stars on the team so they didn't feel threatened at all or challenged at all so they were not living up to their potential. Now that some people have been let go and knew people and talent have been brought on, they felt they were pushing harder than ever. They were moving faster than ever. They were striving for more, they were going to have a better year, they were starting to reach their potential and they started getting really

excited about it. So, we sometimes have to take a moment and say, all right, these are exercises worth going through. So I can start embracing this challenge or opportunity that's ahead of me right now with excitement, with joy, and finding that exhilaration within it, this unknown beauty that I don't know what it's gonna be yet, but it has the possibility to be anything,

and go through those exercises to help you break that attachment to the past, because that ship has sailed and it is in Guam. Okay, so give those two exercises a chance, I think you're really gonna enjoy them. They help me immensely, they help the team in Guam. Okay, so give those two exercises a chance. I think you're really going to enjoy them. They help me immensely. They help the team in the workshop. I have so many others. If you want to hear more, let me know. I'll do another episode and go through all the different 20 questions on how to manage change and how to help you with managing change. But I think

it's something that everybody deals with. So people will tell you embrace the change, but we know it's not always that easy. Sometimes it helps to go through some different exercises so that you can start seeing what that potential possibility is, that potential opportunity and start embracing that unknown that we all struggle with. Okay, if you have not heard yet, I am so excited about partnering with one skin. It's the most incredible skin care company. I have never backed a skin care company ever and I backed them 100%. They are the only company that is proven to unwind the aging process.

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I don't think you will. I certainly won't. I didn't, I'm subscribed to them all. I'm a super fan because it works. So if you're like me and had been struggling with crepey skin, feeling like you're just not looking your besting more, trying retinate, trying all these different things

and getting irritated skin, stop all that. You don't even need to use retina anymore. You can, but you need to use one skin first so they can rebuild the skin and get back to healthy, younger skin, scientifically proven to be younger. They're the only ones that can say that. Don't believe me.

Check out the link in the show notes below. It will take you to all the before and after. All of the science backing it up. One skin is a game changer. And right now, I've got 15% off for you. Do the subscription so that you get the 15% off forever. You can cancel any point in time. You are welcome. We all feel a little bit more confident when we look good, don't we?

I certainly do. I hope you do too. And you are going to be looking at a heck of a lot better once you got one skin. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. You don't stop to look around once in a while. You can miss it. I'm on this journey with me. This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network.

I'm Holla Taha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young & Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On Young & Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world, and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week, we dive into a new topic like the Art of Side Hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion and goal setting. I interview A-List guests on Young & Profiting.

I've got the best guest. Like the world's number one negotiation expert, Chris Voss, Shark Damon John, serial entrepreneurs Alex and Leila Hermosi, and even movie stars like Matthew McConaughey. There's absolutely no fluff on my podcast, and that's on purpose. Every episode is jam packed with advice that's going to push your life forward. I do my research, I get straight to the point, and I take things really seriously, which is why I'm known as the podcast princess, and how I became one of the top podcasters in the world in less than five years.

Young and profiting podcast is for all ages. Don't let the name fool you, it's an advanced show. As long as you wanna learn and level up, you will be forever young. So join podcast royalty and subscribe to Young and Profiting Podcast. Or, yeah, like it's often called by my app fam, on Apple Spotify, CastBox,

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