Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #357: Mastering Negotiations with Challenging Personalities: Conquer Narcissistic Tactics with Rebecca Zung, Esq. Top 1% Attorney, Narcissist Negotiation Expert, & Bestselling Author

Episode Date: September 19, 2023

To check out OneSkin click here!  https://shareasale.com/u.cfm?d=1054216&m=102446&u=3821794&afftrack= To get your 15% one time use discount use code: Confidence Remember if you opt in for the subscri...ption you can cancel any time but you can only use the discount code once. In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Identifying the narcissists in your life How to take down your bullies once and for all The SLAY Method to break free from toxic relationships Protecting yourself when narcissists try to drain you Resources: Website: www.rebeccazung.com  Read SLAY the Bully: How to Negotiate with a Narcissist and Win Instagram, Facebook & YouTube: @rebeccazung LinkedIn: Rebecca Zung Attend Slay The Bully Live! Virtual Event on Sept 30th  Visit heathermonahan.com Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  Visit Indeed.com/monahan to start hiring now.  Go to bit.ly/pipedrive-confidence for a 14-day free trial and get 20% off Pipedrive for 1 year! Go to NetSuite.com/MONAHAN and take advantage of this special financing offer. Go to cozyearth.com and get up to 35% off site wide when you use the code “CONFIDENCE" Go to 4Patriots.com and and use code CONFIDENCE to start your stockpile today Show Notes:  Did you know that there is a HIGH probability of a narcissist encroaching on your life? Think of the bullies you’ve faced in your family, workplace, or school that just sucks the life out of you. There’s a good chance that person is a narcissist! Thankfully, I have an EXPERT today who will teach us all how to deal with them. Rebecca Zung is one of the top attorneys in the country and literally wrote the book on negotiation with narcissists. She developed the SLAY Method to free you from your bullies and take you from victim to victory! If you are ready to shift the dynamic and break out of toxic relationships, you can’t afford to miss this episode! About The Guest: Rebecca Zung, Esq. is an attorney who specializes in negotiating with narcissists. She gained 30 million views on YouTube in just two years and has been recognized as one of the top attorneys in the country, having been honored as a Best Lawyer in America by US News. She has written 2 bestselling books, Negotiate Like You MATTER and Breaking Free: A Step by Step Divorce Guide, and has been featured on television shows such as Extra and in top media such as NPR, Time, Forbes, Huffington Post and Newsweek. She is the creator of the SLAY Your Negotiation Method, and several digital programs, which have transformed lives all over the world. If You Liked This Episode You Might Also Like These Episodes: How to Tackle Your Challenges With Success with Guest Eric Wood Former NFL Center Buffalo Bills, Bills Radio Analyst & Author of Tackle What’s Next  Tap Into Your FULL Potential, With Julia Boorstin Senior Media & Tech Correspondent at CNBC  7 Steps To Manifesting the Life of Your Dreams With Suzanne Adams Business Development Strategist & Motivational Speaker  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 100% of winning is your mindset. If you don't believe that you can win, nobody can help you. And once you decide, people will think what you tell them to think. You have this presence, you have this power, and people will decide based on what you tell them. And it makes such a huge difference. So if you walk in with people will know, and the more you shrink, the more you're afraid, they feel that you have to decide that you're a winner. I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me,
Starting point is 00:00:37 you're going to chase down our goals. Overcome adversity and set you up for better tomorrow. After no sleep, I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad for you to meet our guests. Yet again, this week, we've got Rebecca Zung. She's the top 1% of attorneys in the nation having been recognized by US News as one of the best lawyers
Starting point is 00:00:59 in America. She's also a globally recognized narcissism negotiation expert. She's got more than 35 million views on YouTube in the last two years and creator of the Slay Negotiation method. She's the author of this upcoming book that's amazing. Slay the bully had a negotiate with a narcissist and win. I really needed that book a long time ago and two best-selling books negotiate like you matter, the Surefighter method to step up and win. She's also written breaking free, a step-by-step divorce guide for achieving emotional
Starting point is 00:01:30 physical and spiritual freedom. Rebecca's perspectives are in high demand by television and print outlets, and she's been featured in extra forms, huffing to impose, newsweek time, Dr. Drew, Ed Mylett's podcasts among others. Rebecca's podcast negotiate your best life is ranked in the top 0.5% of all podcast globally. She, along with in and out burger owner, Lindsay Snyder, Ellingson is also the founder of a 501c3 SLEI legal aid, which provides legal aid to those in need. Rebecca, thank you so much for being here with us today. Thank you so much for having me. It is always so fun to be with you. I absolutely love hanging out with you.
Starting point is 00:02:12 And it was so fun to hang out with you not that long ago with our real friends, the Gordons, who I absolutely love too. I know that was so it's always so much more fun once you get to know somebody in real life. So it's going to be a blast getting to sit here with you today and get into sleep. So I have some basic questions that I'd love for you to cover for us first because you're really one of the first people that even opened my eyes to narcissism. It wasn't something that I know it's a lot of your world, but in my world, I didn't really understand it. Can you talk to us a little bit about what narcissism is? Yeah, it's such a great question because I can tell you that I practiced law for more than 20 years and Didn't even know what it was. I mean, I knew people were throwing around the world
Starting point is 00:03:01 But you know, it was like okay, whatever big big eye roll. And I think a lot of times the judges do the same thing. And I think, you know, we hear the word so often, but we really don't really know what it actually is. And so I got to do a deep dive into the research of it, but I can tell you, even though in the book, I give you the DSM-5 definition, what I like to do is give people a lay person's definition. And that is, it is a spectrum and all of us sort of have different, you know, degrees of it as well. But as you get, you know, further and further toward narcissistic personality disorder, you get more and more and more of the traits of it. And that is, it's a person who feels,
Starting point is 00:03:45 and I say feels, because we're all inherently worthy, but they don't feel any sense of self worth inside. And so they feel like they have to get all of their value from external sources to try to fill this feeling of emptiness that they have inside of them. And it's like this black hole, it's like a sieve that can never be filled. And so they get it from really what I call two sources of narcissistic supply.
Starting point is 00:04:13 I call it diamond level supply and coal level supply. So diamond level supply is how they look to the world, which is the celebrity friends, the big houses, the money, the big bank accounts, all of that, the window dressing. And then what I call co-level supply, which is degrading people, devaluing people, controlling people, making people feel small
Starting point is 00:04:36 by elevating themselves, pushing people down by elevating themselves, manipulating people, that sort of thing. Where do narcissists come from? Is there like a theme across that they all had abusive parents or like how do they develop into narcissists? Yeah, that is such a great question because I actually dove deep into the research of this in doing my book and I found this part to be actually one of the most fascinating pieces because I love to dive into science of things. I found this part to be actually one of the most fascinating pieces because I love to dive into science of things. I love this whole thing about how the brain works and neuroscience and
Starting point is 00:05:13 you know, I love everything about quantum law and all of that. So, you know, this was so fascinating to me. And of course, it comes from trauma and you know, like a lot of things with us do right and you know so it could actually be from neglect or it could be abused but it comes from trauma in childhood and it comes from continuous types of trauma. So when we as humans are in a situation where we feel like we have to survive, so it could be any kind of situation, we go into fight or flight. And that's when our brains emit chemicals into our systems of adrenaline, that sort of thing, right? Same thing happens with children, but when it happens continuously
Starting point is 00:06:07 with children, it actually causes arrested development in the limbic system part of their brain. And so when that happens, while their prefrontal cortex part of their brain, their thinking system part of their brain continues to develop that limbic system, that emotional center, part of their brain actually does not develop as it should. And so when they are presented with situations as adults where they feel like they need to survive, they become triggered. And it doesn't necessarily feel rational or reasonable to other people, but it does to them. So it could be an eye roll, it could be a tone of voice, it could be nothing, it could be, you know,
Starting point is 00:06:56 what the hell? That part of their brain becomes triggered and it's a snap of a finger. It is black to white, literally, it's actually a phenomenon called splitting. And then that part of their brain becomes activated and then that's what you're now interacting with, that limbic system part of their brain. And so you go to negotiate with them, when you go to interact with them,
Starting point is 00:07:20 that is now what you're dealing with. And it's called narcissistic injury. And so sometimes they don't even remember what they do during this period of time. Sometimes they're certainly not acting rationally or reasonably. And so they will actually take themselves down to take you down. themselves down to take you down. So that is the whole fascinating piece of it and that's why you cannot negotiate with them like you would regular reasonable people. Wow, that is so eye-opening to here and makes a lot of sense. Is it likely that everybody listening to the show right now knows a narcissist? Oh yes. So here's the really mind blowing statistic about this. So what the data shows is that 15% of the population actually
Starting point is 00:08:14 either has narcissistic personality disorder, which is 6.9% of the population, or has a personality disorder that lacks empathy, which is is anti-social personality disorders. You lump all the rest of the other personality disorders that lack empathy. Those are actually disorders that are classified in the DSM-5. Now this is all the way to the end of the spectrum, mind you. So you think about, this is a spectrum. So that's 15% of the population.
Starting point is 00:08:46 Now, if you think about these are people that don't go into the doctor's office, these are people that don't go, hey, I think I'm gonna go sit for a test today, right? No, this does not happen. And mind you, it's a scope, it's a spectrum. So toward the end of the spectrum, you're going to have more and more and more of these traits, more and more and more of these tendencies, right? And if each
Starting point is 00:09:11 one of these people emotionally abuses just three people in their lifetimes, you're talking about 158 million Americans are 3.4 billion people on the planet. So yeah, that's nearly half the population. And the likelihood of it just being three is probably pretty small. Thank goodness that you're arming us with the knowledge because I know for me for a second, I didn't know what a narcissist was and I was very much being bullied by one
Starting point is 00:09:41 and dealing with one and it's so helpful now to have this roadmap, to be able to have this roadmap to be able to have tools to actually be able to deal with it. What are some just general examples of narcissistic behavior in the workplace so that our listeners can say, okay, I know who this person is. Well, they start off extremely, extremely charming. All of them. Whether it's in a business situation or a personal situation, a professional, whatever it is, because they use mirror neurons. So they actually become exactly what it is that you want to see.
Starting point is 00:10:14 They know how to become you. They know how to become exactly what you want. They come on extremely strong. So it's 40 emails a day is exactly what it is that you want to see. If you want to have professional contacts, they've got them. If you want to get married the next day is happening. Let's meet your kids. It's the whole thing. It's almost all consuming right away. And if you're seeing red flags, they're extremely adept at explaining them away, at knowing exactly what to say, to bat them away, to have an answer for them. I mean, they're extremely charismatic.
Starting point is 00:11:03 It takes your breath away almost. But what they want to do is get to that next level as quickly as possible, because they want to lock you in so that they can start making withdrawals. This is all part of the deposit process. They want to start making withdrawals as fast as possible. So because as soon as they get to that next level,
Starting point is 00:11:26 they turn off that faucet almost right away. You start to see that shift in the wind almost immediately, almost immediately. The thing about running your own business is every single higher accounts and no hiring partner understands that like indeed, indeed is a hiring platform where you can attract interview and hire all in one place. Don't spend hours on multiple job sites looking for candidates with the right skills when you can do it all with indeed. Find top talent fast with indeed suite of powerful hiring tools like matching assessments and virtual interviews.
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Starting point is 00:14:01 33,000 companies have already upgraded to NetSuite gaining visibility and control over their financials, inventory, HR, e-commerce, and so much more. If you've been sizing up NetSuite to make the switch, then you know this deal is unprecedented. No interest, no payments, take advantage of the special financing offer at NetSuite.com slash monahan. Netsuite.com slash monahan to get the visibility and control you need to weather any storm. Netsuite.com slash monahan. How did you figure this out? Was this during negotiation processes for you at work as a lawyer? No, I actually had a narcissistic business partner. So what happened for me, and it's interesting because I say that I learned this from a narcissistic business partner, and which I did, but I feel like in some ways this whole
Starting point is 00:14:58 journey of my life has been a confluence of events that has brought me to this point. And I feel like God has sort of set me up for this whole journey, my whole life because I was bullied as a kid for being Asian. And I remember sitting on the playground and feeling completely voiceless, you know, and the kids who come up and like hold their eyes back and stuff like that and say things to me. And I remember just sitting there and not saying anything and feeling powerless and feeling voiceless. And I grew up in the 70s and 80s and it wasn't a time where parents marched into the school inside anything. It was just like, I was a latchkey kid. My parents were working. They had stuff to do.
Starting point is 00:15:45 They weren't taking care of me, whatever. I mean, my breakfast in the morning was like lucky charms and I was lucky to have it. And, you know, I mean, that was the way we grew up. And so it wasn't a time for talking about bullying or anything like that. And so I felt voiceless. I felt powerless in those days. And so I grew up, I became a lawyer. I advocated on behalf of others.
Starting point is 00:16:12 And I became a very good lawyer. And then I merged my practice in 2017, 2018. I became a business partners with somebody who turned out to be a covert narcissist. And it was a peer. It was somebody who I didn't expect, you know, and I ended up not seeing anything. And I ended up, this person seemed very nice on the outside and everybody loved this person. And all of a sudden, all those feelings of being bullied came flooding back to me.
Starting point is 00:16:47 I found myself feeling voiceless, powerless, and I found myself feeling traumatized again. After I had built this massive national practice where I was representing billionaires and celebrities and all this stuff, and I thought I had long passed all of that. And that's really when somebody said to me, oh, that person is a covert narcissist. That was when I was like, what is that? And that was when I dove into this whole thing and started learning about narcissism. And that's when I started applying what I was learning about narcissism to my cases and started seeing movement in my cases in 2019 and I was also learning about YouTube and funnels and all of that at the same time and I did one video on how to negotiate with a narcissist in
Starting point is 00:17:40 January of 2020 and I thought oh okay I see like 700 views here, all the sudden. I'm going to go ahead and create a course around that. I'm going to have a go live in March. And then all the sudden COVID hit. And the rest is history. I mean, I had 300 subscribers in January of 2020 on my YouTube channel. And yeah, and now you're gonna go ahead. It's gonna be crazy, right? Clearly this topic needed to be delved into and clearly people had a thirst for this knowledge because so many of us just didn't even know what it was.
Starting point is 00:18:20 You mentioned covert narcissists. Can you elaborate a little bit on what that means? Yeah. I mean to me, it is the absolute worst type of narcissist because this is the type that everybody thinks is so nice. The world thinks that they're wonderful. they can be humanitarians, they can be doctors, lawyers, preachers, they can be the nicest to people to the world. Everything they do has an element of plausible deniability around it. They couch the way they do things in terms of care. You know, I'm so concerned about Susie. I'm just so concerned about her drinking. You know, I'm just worried, worried about her. You know, and Suzy probably doesn't have any problem with drinking whatsoever, but it's a way to smear Suzy. But everybody thinks that this person
Starting point is 00:19:20 is so nice. So now they're worried about Suzy and her drinking. They're like evil in a way. I mean, it's just inadvertently leaving people off of email chains and then all of a sudden, a person is not at a meeting and, oh, how come you're not at a meeting? And oh, I thought I put you on that email chain. Oh, I'm sorry. Like that sort of thing.
Starting point is 00:19:49 Oh, I'm all of a sudden they're better friends with somebody. That person just happened to call me. Rebecca, what's the difference in between? Because when you're seeing these things, first of all, I completely know people like this sadly. But you know what comes to mind for me is passive aggressive behavior. Part of being a narcissist is they leverage passive aggressive behavior. A covert narcissist. So the covert narcissist is much, much more passive aggressive, you know, whereas the over or
Starting point is 00:20:17 grandiose narcissist is the one that will come in, take over, take over the room, I demand the best table. I'm the greatest at this. Why don't I have this happening to me? That's your garden variety narcissist. That's the one that everybody thinks of as a narcissist. Your male, misogynist, CEO type, that everybody thinks of as a narcissist, right? Whereas to me, I think the covert narcissist is much smarter in a lot of ways and much, much more dangerous in a lot of ways because
Starting point is 00:20:55 everybody thinks they're so nice and that you're feeling like shit all the time, but you know, because you're like, I don't know if I should say anything, everybody thinks they're so nice. But you know, you can't sleep at night. It's like death by a thousand cuts. It's just awful. A truly isn't, that's exactly the kind of narcissist I was dealing with. And truly, I mean, you can't sleep.
Starting point is 00:21:17 You're losing your hair. You're having bad issues suddenly out of nowhere. Yeah. It's debilitating. Let's get into some of the strategies that you share and slay the bully, specifically the slay method. And what can you share with us with everyone listening right now, how they can manage dealing with a narcissist? Yeah. The slay method is strategy leverage, anticipate, and then the why is you. And it's absolutely the best method that I've
Starting point is 00:21:48 ever come up with because it is how to basically shift the power dynamic with narcissism. And I always say step one, don't run step two, make a U-turn, step three, break free. And so within that paradigm, I've come up with slay. And I've literally sold over 10,000 of my slay programs to people all over the world in the last three years. And I have so many, so many testimonials and with 40 million views on YouTube, like I always tell people, this is not theory. It absolutely works.
Starting point is 00:22:21 So what strategy is, is you build your vision first. So you create your vision. Where is it that you want to go? So many times you're like on the defensive. You're like, oh my god, I'm so paralyzed. You feel paranoid, paralyzed. And I believe me, I know. And I tell people this because if it can happen to me,
Starting point is 00:22:42 like I've been, you heard my bio and I don't say this, you know, to brag or whatever, look at Heather, she's like badass of all bad asses. So powerful and so brilliant. If it can happen to her, if it can happen to me, it can happen to anybody. Like they're really up and good at what they do, you know, these people. So don't ever feel bad. They don't attach themselves to you because you have so little value. They attach themselves to you because you have so much. They're really, really good at what they do. So don't ever feel bad about that,
Starting point is 00:23:17 right? I mean, they're just really good at what they do. So just get over the blame and shame and just start from where you are, wherever you are is the jumping off point and create a vision for where it is that you want to go. And then you have to create action steps, create action steps. What kind of narcissist are you dealing with? Create a plan in my slave program. I show you how to do that in the book. I show you how to do that. And then leverage, how you build leverage is you figure out what it is that is there are diamond level supply.
Starting point is 00:23:54 And then their co-level supply is manipulating you, jerking you around, all of that. And you have to threaten a source of supply that's more important for them to keep than the supply that they get from jerking you around. And that is how you get rid of them. You've got some example of that because that's so interesting to me. Yeah, so it's through your documentation. So it's through emails, it's through witnesses, it's through your journaling, it's through texts, it's through social media a lot of times. The one thing about narcissists is that they always are sloppy. You know, they are sloppy because of what I was saying earlier
Starting point is 00:24:37 about the fact that they are impulsive and they are liars and the things that they do. And so a lot of times people are so afraid of them, but the bottom line is that they're just big bullies and they're way more afraid of you than you are of them. And so if you keep good records, if you document them and you are very methodical about how you keep timelines and things like that, that will come back to bite them. And that is how you can create amazing, amazing leverage against them. And I'm talking about leverage that you can use, not just in a court of law, but in negotiations that you can use, not just in a court of law, but in negotiations in a work situation, in any kind of a situation, and it definitely works.
Starting point is 00:25:31 And by the way, nurses says, don't just want to win. They want to continue to be able to manipulate you. And that's why they constantly move goalposts. So if you don't figure out a way to threaten a source of supply that's more important for them to keep, then the supply that they get from jerking around, you'll never get rid of them ever. So this is what you have to do. So that's leverage. And then anticipate, anticipate is anticipate that they're going to try to beat you, they're going to try to trigger you, they're going to try to get under your skin. So, first of all, never defend yourself. Never defend yourself. You want to, when they attack you, when they see things about you that aren't true, you want to go,
Starting point is 00:26:19 what? You think that, that is exactly what they want you to do. You don't need to respond. You don't. You just don't. Because cream always rises to the top. And the truth always comes out. And you just need to not say anything. Because when you respond, you are giving them supply for one thing,
Starting point is 00:26:47 and you're just going down into the mud with them. So if they send you some big long email or whatever, you can pick through and see if there's something that you absolutely have to respond to, but you don't need to defend yourself, don't. So, you know, I always say never explain justify your overshare. In a startling description, the UN food chief warned the world with the words knocking on Famine's door. He called what we're facing a perfect storm of a perfect storm. And he's not alone.
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Starting point is 00:28:54 There was this lawyer back in Naples that we used to like laugh at, but it was, he was the best. Like he used to write back when we actually used to write letters on letter head. People would write all these long letters, these other lawyers, and he used to actually write these letters back. And it was so powerful. He would write, dear, so-and-so. No. Sincerely yours. I love it.
Starting point is 00:29:17 That's so good. Okay. And so A is anticipate that's what you were just walking us through. And Y. Y is you. So you on the offensive, stay offensive. And then 100% of winning is your mindset, your mindset. You have to believe that you can win a hundred percent. You know, if you don't believe that you can win, nobody can help you. You and you alone define your value, you alone decide who you are. And you know, once you decide, people will think what you tell them to think. You have this presence, you have
Starting point is 00:30:05 this power, and people will decide based on what you tell them. And it makes such a huge difference. So if you walk in with power, if you walk in with purpose, people will know. And you know, the more you shrink, the more you're afraid, they feel that, they feel that energy, they feel that power. And so you have to decide that you're a winner. Doesn't come the other way around. No, definitely not. When do you know, okay, this is a situation I just need to leave,
Starting point is 00:30:38 whether it be I need to get a divorce and a relationship or quit a job, or when do you know I need to dig in and manage this? Well, you can tell by how they're treating you, obviously, right? I mean, if it doesn't feel good, then you know it doesn't feel good. You can tell by the pit in your stomach, have you ever heard the Heart Math Institute? Have you ever heard of Heart Math? Yeah.
Starting point is 00:31:01 So your heart is actually 20 times faster than your brain. So your intuition is actually right, usually, probably all the time. So listen to that, listen to that. There's actually coherence meditations that you can do. And so just really getting into coherence about that and really knowing that if it doesn't feel good, you know what it feels like. If you've been in a conversation with somebody and walk away from that and you're feeling uplifted, you feel good, you feel better. And you know, how your gut feels after you've been with people, oh my god, I feel so much better. Or if you've been with people or you've been in that situation, you just don't feel good. Every time you walk away, you just feel not good, right?
Starting point is 00:31:48 Like hitting your stomach, your gut is like, you know, on fire or whatever it is that the hair on the back of your neck just doesn't feel good. You know, you know, you guys know. And so, you know, your soul is probably speaking to you and telling you and if you're listening, you know the answer.
Starting point is 00:32:09 But sometimes you argue with the red flags yourself, right? You know, sometimes you yourself will say, Oh, you know, he had a bad childhood. He had a bad day at work or whatever you yourself defend it and you know listen to that. Listen to that. If you're on the internet searching for narcissism, it's probably not a good sign. If you're searching for your videos on YouTube, this is you need this book now. You need to protect yourself people for sure, especially knowing how many narcissists there are out there now.
Starting point is 00:32:47 It is really mind-boggling. Yeah, exactly, exactly. How did you end up escaping your narcissist? Oh, this is actually a very good story. I actually was on vacation with my family. It was July of 2019. So it was only four years ago. And I was in Maui at the top of Mount Haleacola at sunrise. Have you ever done that? And it was so beautiful.
Starting point is 00:33:16 And my daughter, who was 17 at the time, I was with my daughter and my husband, we get up at sunrise and it's like, and I hate getting up early in the morning, but you get up at like two 30 in the morning, and we went with these friends, and you go from like 85 degrees in sunny and beautiful to like 30 degrees up there, but it takes forever and you get up there and it's literally heaven on earth. It is so stunningly beautiful.
Starting point is 00:33:41 Like I can't even describe how gorgeous it is. And so you're up there and this Hawaiian guy starts singing this song, and it's just so powerfully beautiful spiritual. And my daughter goes, mom, it's like heaven on earth. And I said, it is, it is. And all of a sudden, what am I thinking of? I'm thinking of that freaking narcissist
Starting point is 00:34:08 because you know how it is. They get in your head, right? And in that moment, I thought, no. No, no, no, no. You do not get to be here. You do not get to be here. I'd have it on her. That's it. I gotta be here. You and I get to be here. I'd have it on our that said, I got to be done. I'm done with this. I'm done with you. I'm done with this whole situation. I got to be done.
Starting point is 00:34:33 Because I just had this like, aha moment, like it's one thing to ruminate about this thing when I'm like in my bedroom, I walk in the dog or walk around my house. But like I cannot have this. This is ridiculous. And I just had this moment of clarity around every moment I give this person, I'm allowing myself to be a victim. And I'm not in creation mode. And I'm not in what God wanted me to be. And so I just thought I got to get out of this.
Starting point is 00:35:07 And so I decided I'm going to finish my book, Negotiate Like You Matter. I'm getting out of this situation. And so I told her that I wanted to be out of that. And I thought, you know, I'll do it the right way. And it'll be good. And all of that. Well, of course, you know,
Starting point is 00:35:23 could never be good with a narcissist. But that's not in a whole other story. It doesn't matter. It's done now. But I finished negotiating it like you matter and I sent it out for endorsements. And one of the people I sent it to was Robert Shapiro and I didn't even know him, but I get this email back that says, call me and I'm like, okay, so I called him and he's like, he offers to write the foreword for the book and I'm thinking, okay, and so you know, magic starts happening for me because I created the space because I decided to be in creation mode. And you know, after that,
Starting point is 00:36:02 I started, you know, doing YouTube and you know and my whole life has changed since then, because I decided to be in creation mode and not allow myself to be in victim mode anymore. Guys, this is so powerful what she's sharing with you right now. It is incredible when I was fired, aka the day I fired my narcissist for my life. In so similar fashion, it was only a couple days later that Elvastarance team reached out and wanted me to come on the show and then he convinced me to write a book and then my book went number one and Trump Donald Trump on business biography list on Amazon.
Starting point is 00:36:36 All these incredible things in my life happen that were not happening previously. I was working very hard on my job and I'm sure there were wins along the way, but nothing like what the change that occurs in your life when you get a narcissist out of it, that's like heaven on earth. Like you said, you move into creation mode, you move into a space that is so unlike the life that you were living, it is so necessary. I'm sure you've heard millions of stories of people having similar experiences. Yes, exactly. And I had no idea what was in store for me at that point. I just knew that I was
Starting point is 00:37:14 allowing myself to be in victim mode every moment I gave that mental space to that person. And I wasn't allowing it anymore. So proud so proud of you. And thank goodness you did that because it had this ripple effect for you now to help millions of people. Tell me a little bit about your virtual event that you're doing on September 30th. Yes, so I'm so excited about this because we are going to be doing a virtual book launch to celebrate everybody who wants to create this sort of change in their lives.
Starting point is 00:37:51 It's totally free. And everybody who brings by friends will also get to previously unpublished chapters of my book. And we're going to be doing live giveaways there. And it's going to be a fun way to celebrate. And we're also going to be kicking off my new mastermind there as well. And I'm just so excited because this is my way of saying to everybody, hey, if you are looking for a change in your life, if you're ready to break free from a toxic situation, a toxic relationship, whether it's professional,
Starting point is 00:38:27 whether it's personal, and you are ready to create a new beginning and a new future. This is the time. So come join us on September 30th at 9 a.m. Pacific or New Eastern, and I'm so excited to welcome you into our slay nation. Slay nation, we need to slay the bullies. Be there at December 30th.
Starting point is 00:38:52 Oh, so slaythebulleylaunch.com. I almost forgot to give the link. I was so excited about the event. I post forgot to give the link. So slaythebulleylaunch.com is the link. All right, so everyone, I'll put the link in the show notes below. Meet us there September 30th.
Starting point is 00:39:08 Slaythebulleylaunch.com. Rebecca, thank you so much for the work you're doing and making this incredible, creating this incredible book to help so many others. Thank you and thank you. You are so awesome. So awesome. Right back at you, sister.
Starting point is 00:39:23 All right, guys, see you September 30th. I'm going to write a word over here. I decided to change that tiny amount. And the right bell out. I couldn't be more excited than ever. Once you're in here, start learning and growing. And inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone.
Starting point is 00:39:40 You don't stop to look around once in a while. You can miss it. I'm on this journey with me. This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network. I'm Holla Taha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young & Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On Young & Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world, and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life.
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