Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #370: Your Roadmap To Navigating CHANGE with Heather!

Episode Date: November 1, 2023

To check out OneSkin click here! https://shareasale.com/u.cfm?d=1054216&m=102446&u=3821794&afftrack= To get your 15% one time use discount use code: Confidence Remember if you opt in for the subscription you can cancel any time but you can only use the discount code once. In This Episode You Will Learn About: Using trust as the antidote to uncertainty How to approach change with a positive mindset Why you should NEVER settle even when everything is shifting around you The benefits of letting go and moving forward Resources: Visit heathermonahan.com Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Get 15% off right now at masterclass.com/monahan Visit Indeed.com/monahan to start hiring now. Show Notes:  What would it feel like to just let go? It is so HARD to do! But every time I trust that the universe has my back, things work out for the better. This was never clearer to me then when I moved last year from my home of 18 years. The instability and uncertainty was so awful to deal with! But when I just let go of what I couldn’t control, the perfect place revealed itself. And now we’re moving again! But this time, I know I can handle it. So get ready to embark on this journey with me as we embrace uncertainty and set ourselves up for a better tomorrow. Let's dive in! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. Overcome adversity and set you up for better tomorrow. After no sleep, yeah. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week.

Okay, so a lot happening right now that I want to get you up to speed on. But first, I wanted to ask you, the last couple of weeks, my solo episodes have not been solo episodes. Right, I've done something different. I replayed and interviewed someone interviewing me one week and then I interviewed Melanie Borden last week.

So let me know, would you rather have the solo episodes or do you like me mixing it up? I want to create more content that benefits, helps, and supports you in what you want, because that's what this shows about. So send me a DM, leave a review of the show and let me know which you prefer, and I will act on it, or you can always go to my website, HeatherMonahan.com, and leave a contact me form there with all of the info letting me know what you would like me to do.

I would so appreciate it. Okay, so there's a couple things I wanted to get into. One, and if you've been with me already know about this, that I lived in the same place in South Beach for 18 years, and there's pros and cons to that, right? Yes, you get into a serious routine because you're living in the same home for 18 years. A lot of stability, right? Like you know what to expect. However, I guess I hadn't really purged my home

of everything in anything possible before until it was came to the month before I was moving. I knew I was leaving, right? I was like, I need to get rid of an unload anything and everything I can. That was an incredible experience. I totally challenged you to do it if you haven't done that. I hadn't done that for 18 years. There was so much stuff still sitting around from when my child was little. That I was able to get rid of, give away.

And it was super freeing. It just made me feel lighter. Everything. There was more space. Just getting rid of things in your life that are not necessary. If they're not bringing you joy, get rid of them. It was just such a good reminder of that. And that goes for people, that goes for things, tasks, you know, just how you're occupying or spending your time. When, you know, an end of a year is a great time to do this,

it's to reevaluate, like, what are the things that are bringing your vibe high and allowing you to feel good for me that is spending time with my son, spending time with my friends, running, doing these different things in my life that I love to do, but there are things I don't love to do like preparing for my taxes, need to bring in more support in accounting. There's things you can throw money at so that you don't have to do, so your vibe doesn't have to be brought down. And in turn, things you can walk away

from that just aren't serving you. And so I'm constantly evaluating and I encourage you to do the same. It's super helpful. And the more you can get my book, overcome your villains, get rid of the villains in your life, get rid of the negative things, even if that's a talk track that you're playing for yourself, rewrite it today and start being your biggest cheerleader

and your biggest advocate. Okay, so to that end, moving for me, I guess it was not a year and a half ago quite, but getting close, I moved and it was freeing because I felt like, okay, this is a new adventure, I'm in a new location. I know nothing about it. And I never imagined I would live in this part of the city. And I love it and I'm meeting new people. And there's new routines and there's new places to find and new people to find.

And I had gotten rid of so much that it was super light and easy and just worked out amazing. But the funny thing is, and this is something I want you to remember, and that's all about uncertainty, approaching uncertainty with the right attitude. I am approached with the attitude of,

this is an adventure. I don't know what's about to happen next, but I'm super excited to see, and it worked out incredible, literally incredible. However, leading into moving into my new home now, it was not a beautiful situation. We had been back and forth with the buyer, and I'm reminding you of this

just because it's super important. Everything is not seamless and easy. It's not. We were moving through a window with the buyer that was trying to buy my home. He kept backing out, he kept wanting more conditions, he was insane, super stressful. And this had gone on for a couple of months and we'd actually walked away from two deals

because it was just tumultuous, same way. And so we were back in it again, this one ended up getting executed and closing. But I didn't know when I was super discouraged, right? I was like, this, I can't believe this is happening. Why does this keep happening? And the more you get pulled down in the negativity, the more the situation gets negative. It just does.

So it's all about how can you rise above it, let go, let God, and just trust that everything's going to work out for the best in the end. And for me, that definitely is working out and running and trying to just free my mind. You know what, I can't control this. This is out of my control. I can just let go and know that this is all happening

for a reason, I'm grateful for what I have and hopeful for what's to come next. Yeah, it's a daily practice, my people, because it is not easy when you're in it. Anyhow, after a few months of that, we ended up closing, which is super exciting, and I had 30 days to figure out where I was gonna live. We ended up having to go back to the guy that had bought my home and renegotiate me renting

from him in my old home for a month because we couldn't find a place fast enough. That was super stressful. He said, yes, charge me some ridiculous amount of my fine. We did it. Now, my realtor and I, who had been looking for a place for me to live for months, because again, remember, for months, it was this tumultuous situation of my place was falling apart. My place is coming together, it was just very stressful. Anyhow, we had been looking.

I had found a place that I loved a condo that I loved that I wanted to move into. It was too big for my son and I, but I didn't care. I just loved it. And it was rented and acquired. Like a week before I had my deal closed. So I could not go out and get my new place until I had sold my home because I didn't want to own two homes

or be committed to two homes at the same time I had to wait. Well, as soon as my home sold, I found out that the one that I wanted was off the market. Now, at this point in time, in Miami, it's over a year ago, it was spring time. Last year, oh my gosh, the market was so hot, you could not find anything good for it. You just couldn't.

If it was on the market, it was probably because something was wrong with it, right? So even those places were going quickly. You had to like, I will pay it for the year in advance, I'll pay six months in advance. Here's a check, a cashier's check for the whole year. It was crazy what you were having to do to secure somewhere to live. Cut to the place I wanted to live was off the market. I was so discouraged. I was sitting outside of that place, which is so funny to me now.

I was sitting outside of that building, feeling sad, so upset. Why, this is my place I'm supposed to live. Who are these meany people that got my place? And what's funny is, at the time I had no idea, but I was about to find something so so much better. And so this is my reminder to you. Sometimes we have to let go of what was so that we can step into what can be.

And know this, what can be is going to be so much better than you ever had imagined. Well, of course, I did not know every property in all of Miami. How could I? I had lived in one area, South Beach, my entire time spending Miami and I didn't know the rest of Miami very well. So I was being led by someone who had expertise, my realtor, and we were out looking for a place for me to live. And I was being led by someone who had expertise my realtor and we were out looking for a place for me to live And I was discouraged because the place I thought I wanted was gone and We were in a panic mode because we had to find somewhere really quickly to move to so one day We had you know back-to-back

Showings of different locations different buildings in a couple of different areas for me to see. And I was not feeling very optimistic. And I remember we were at one building. And all day I hadn't seen anything I liked. And I was saying, in my mind, you know what, Heather, you just got to get over it. Pull the trigger, make a decision. You have a child. He's starting school.

Like this is ridiculous. You just need to pick a location, even if it's not the best and move in. That's where my mind was. I was settling because I was feeling pressure that there just wasn't anything good. So, and again, first world problems, they're all good, it just wasn't my dream location or dream condo, which I live in now. Okay, if you've been listening to this show and you've been with me for a little while,

you know I've been going through a negotiation that has been taking a few months longer than I had hoped. And as that's happened, I realized I need a little support. I need a different strategy because if what you're doing is not working, we need to access someone who's done what we want to do. So I jumped in to Chris Voss's class on the master class platform and I will tell you my strategy changed immensely. Instead of taking the approach, are we going to move forward with this deal? Are we doing this? I'm taking the approach. Is this a terrible idea? And the minute I switched to that very tactical change. I completely unlocked what the real objection was because the other side was disarmed.

So master class, thank you so, so much for changing my negotiation and putting me in a position of power. This fall, learn from the best to become your best with master class, from leadership to effective communication to cooking, whether you're watching masterclass on TV, listening in audio mode, in the app,

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which had a beautiful view, I love the view, however I did not love the building. And so I just said, you know what, I'm gonna suck it up and I'll just do a deal. If the guy will negotiate with me on price, and I had seen that this one property had been on the market for a while. So when you know that, there's gonna be a little bit of leverage, right?

Like there's something that you can do. So I start negotiating with the gentleman while we're there on site on the property and I said, listen, I'm super serious. I need to move in somewhere fast. Let's talk numbers. You know, what are you willing to do? I'm not playing a game here and I'm happy to pay for a year in advance. I want to pull the trigger and get this done. So I just put all my cards on the table, very direct, and the man was so offended. He was so taken aback by that. He said, I'm not negotiating price, and the price was ridiculous. It was so expensive. I'm actually interested if they ever rented that place. They probably did not. So I said, excuse me, he said, oh yeah, there's no negotiation.

I looked at my realtor, I said, then we're leaving. And so we walked out and that was that. So we walked out of that building and I looked at my realtor and I'm like, you know what? This day has not gone well. Not only have I not seen things I love, which is a bummer, but I just made an offer on a place that I didn't even love just trying to be,

I guess just disciplined or lower my standards. I don't know what I was thinking. I was just discouraged. And I said, then that didn't even work out. So why don't we call it a day? And let's go again this weekend, you know, I need to go back and work right now. And he said, no, there's one more place I want to show you. And I said, David, I love my Reelder. I said, David, I just, I don't think that it's worthwhile. He said, I do. And it's right around the corner. Give me 15 more minutes, and then you can go. And I said, all right, fine.

But my expectations were so low. Well, wouldn't you know we drive around the corner. And I see this really quiet, really beautiful building. And it was kind of like off to the side. Didn't feel like it was in a city. It just was perfect. And I thought, oh my gosh, I've never seen this building before. I probably have driven by it a hundred times.

And he said, yeah, it's not very big. It's kind of secluded. We went in, people were so nice. It was so beautiful. It was new. And we got to the unit that he was showing me. And the minute I walked in. I said, this is where I'm going to live.

It's like what they say when you find the right person, you're meant to be with for the rest of your life. You just know. I just knew. And so it was all about me letting go of what I didn't get and being open to what could be and not settling in the interim. That's my big takeaway and lesson there. And I'm so grateful. Okay, so I did a one year deal.

Super grateful, it's been incredible here. We love it so much here. It turns out my son became really good friends with the next door neighbor and the people in the building are so support above us and amazing to us. And it's just been an incredible experience. Super, super grateful.

So of course we don't want to leave. So when my lease was coming due, we reached out to the landlord to her people and said, you know, we want to renew. She at first wanted to up the rent, which I said, absolutely not. We pay a ridiculous amount of money to live here. And she said, well, then I'm selling. So she's been letting me live and extend month by month. And I was hoping that over this time she would see that it's not a seller's market right now in Miami anyhow. So I thought she would change her mind, but here we are.

She has not changed her mind. So yet again, my son and I have to move, which is, it's not nearly as big a deal. And this is something I've just learned in life. You know, if I had not just moved a little over a year ago, it would be a huge deal. And this is something I've just learned in life. You know, if I had not just moved a little over a year ago, it would be a huge deal. It would be scary and how am I going to do it. But I just did this. Right? Like I just saw this movie. It's not that big a deal. Yeah, it's a pain. And for a couple of weeks, a month, you're displaced a little. And yes, there's the uncertainty of not knowing where you're going. But I also have this trust

and faith that I remember what happened last time. I remember when I didn't know where I was gonna go, and I remember that by letting go, and just seeing what could be available, everything worked out exactly as it was meant to. And I just know that's what's gonna happen this time too. I don't know exactly what that's gonna be. My hope is to stay in my building.

I love my building, and there are a couple of options in my building. So we'll see, but I will promise you this. I will keep you updated. Because as of now, I have to be out of my home in three weeks. And today I'm making an offer on three different places. And I will let you know how it turns out. But I do have faith. I know that it's going to all be for the greatest good. And I'm over trying to control things and project the outcome. It's irrelevant. Just have faith.

Let go. Let go. So that's where we're living, and I better get packing. Okay. So two things that I wanted to share with you that I actually posted about on LinkedIn yesterday, that I feel like our relevant message helped a lot of people

yesterday, I'm hoping it relevant message helped a lot of people yesterday. I'm hoping it can help you. Two things. One, things are not always the way that they seem. You don't know the whole story when you see an image or a picture or see my keynote, right? You don't really know what goes into that and I'll give you a little background on that. That's number one. Number two, the seeds that you're planting today are not going to be harvested today.

And I'll get into what I mean by that. Okay, so the first one, things aren't always what they seem. I posted a picture of me, I was actually going on a date, and this is so funny. Depending on who I'm going on a date with, depending on what the situation is, the backstory, whatever, I handle it very differently. Well date with, depending on what the situation is, the backstory, whatever.

I handle it very differently. Well, this one I had met the person before, hadn't seen him in a long time. And so I really wanted to be very casual about this date because it wasn't like another situation that I had last year where I literally thought I was meeting the love of my life and we had never met before and been talking on the phone for over a month

and I couldn't wait to meet him. That was very different. This situation was more, gosh, I wonder if I'm still going to like this guy. It's been a while since I've seen him, whatever. So I wanted to downplay it. The funny thing about me downplay it, I don't ever really downplay anything. Let's be honest, right? So for me to downplay it, I actually have to work hard to put a look together that makes

it look like I didn't try, but I still look good. That takes two hours. Right? So I posted this picture saying, you can't always judge a situation by an image. Yes, looking at this picture, it looks like, you know, I've got it together, but I'm not trying too hard. Well, that's all BS. I was trying so hard, but I'm trying hard to make it look like I'm not trying hard, which

is so insane, right? My friend and I laugh about it. She was telling me it's masterful that I can do that I'm like masterful it's insanity who in their right mind tries this hard to look like they're not trying Raising my hand right now because it's me So my point is this if you would see me that day think like oh, hey, how they're just like rolling around on a Saturday No big deal. No, I was trying super hard to look great and not look like I'm trying hard because the reality is I didn't even know what the situation was I was walking into.

So don't judge things the way that they may look on the outside because you probably don't know the backstory that that person took two hours to get ready and is actually really concerned about it, right? People aren't always projecting that transparency or that truth or you're not able to glean it in the minute, or in the interface or interchange that you have with those people or with that social media.

So don't even bother trying, because there's no way anyone would have known if they'd seen me that day, unless you're one of my best friends, what was really going on? No way, there's just no chance. To that end, it's the same way with my keynote. I'll take a huge stage and I have a keynote tonight, There's just no chance. To that end, it's the same way with my keynote. I'll take a huge stage and I have a keynote tonight

and I'll take a huge stage and people will come up to me after and like you were born to do this and you're so lucky and blah, blah, blah. Here's the thing that people don't see. When I was 22 years old, I gave my first sales meeting, probably in front of 10 people, right? That was standing up and giving a speech.

I started giving speeches at 22, but really giving speeches long before that on the softball field, on the basketball court, you know, I was big into sports my entire life, and I was captain of most of my teams, and I was always the one to stand up and speak. So I had been speaking my whole life, although I didn't realize it, but really,

as a sales leader and a sales manager, although I didn't realize it, but really as a sales leader and a sales manager, that's when on the regular I was giving multiple presentations, pitches, speeches every week. For years, I did that line of work for 25 years. So for 25 years, I was giving multiple speeches every week. Although no one called it that. When I started podcasting, an online store was the furthest thing from my mind. Now, I'm selling my masterclasses on the regular, and it's so easy. All because I use Shopify. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business. From the launch your online shop stage to the first

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Shopify had me covered. I literally launched my Shopify store within one week and had group coaching Masterclasses mastermind up and running and I was driving revenue over night I don't know what I would have done without Shopify Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce in the US and Shopify is the global force behind all birds, wrothies, and Brooklyn and millions of other entrepreneurs of every size across 175 countries. Plus Shopify's award-winning help

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At some point during that time, the company and industry I worked for did ask me to start taking main stages and speaking. Of course they didn't pay me for it. So I started taking much bigger stages. Then during that time, I started getting very involved in charity work and I joined the board of city or Miami and they started asking me to take stages for them.

Again, I didn't get paid for it, but it was for charity. So during all of these years, there's more than two decades of me getting multiple speeches a week in front of multiple different audiences, different size audiences and different stages. I have tons and tons of practice. Then what a lot of people don't realize, if you haven't read my first book, Confidence Creator,

you need to go get it and read it. It's so flipping good. I love that book. Go check out the reviews. They're incredible. I share the story that I wanted to improve my stage presence. I wanted to put myself out of my comfort zone and I wanted to get better in speaking

so I took a stand up comedy class. It was a horrible experience, but it was brilliant brilliant and I'm so grateful I did it. I hated it when I went through it because it was uncomfortable because it was unknown because it was different but it ended up being this incredible experience for me because I had all these realizations about myself that I hadn't had previously and yeah I put me on my comfort zone which made me stronger and better suited for the next time I'd be out of my comfort zone Which I am right now not knowing where I'm going to live right so it all comes full circle so

My point is when people see my keynotes They think I just woke up like this. No, I didn't just wake up like this I have over two decades of putting the reps in I have Incredible experiences of putting myself out of my comfort zone so that I could get comfortable on that next big scary stage. And I can't wait to let you know about some of the stages that I have coming next. It's so flipping exciting. It's so crazy.

I actually just locked in my first keynote speech in Saudi Arabia, which is incredible to me because these are things I never even dreamed up before. And I'm so blessed and so lucky and feel what an incredible opportunity for a woman to be able to take a keynote stage in Saudi Arabia. This is, I'm so, so excited for these opportunities and I'm so excited that I'm being given these opportunities and I'm just excited for it all. Of course, it's uncomfortable, but I've been putting the reps in uncomfortable for a long

time, so it's getting a lot more comfortable standing in the uncomfortable. My second message is the day you plant the seed is not the day you reap the reward, right? About three years ago, I started investing in a relationship, having no idea what the outcome would be. I didn't have some big hope for it or plan. It's just do the next right thing. And if there's someone that you align with and like, hey, this person seems like my people and I can support them and help them, then do it. And if you can't, you can't.

But if you can, why wouldn't you do it, right? Do the next right thing. And I did. And over the last couple of years, this relationship has grown, especially recently, into something incredible. And I didn't know it the day I met this individual.

But I remember thinking, like this is a seed, this is something that I wanna support, I wanna nurture and help in any way that I can. I don't know what that expectation or greater plan is, but here I am sitting here three years later, and I'm beginning to reap the reward of planning that seed. Three years later, but I had no idea. I can't wait to tell you, I'm actually going to break down the whole situation for it.

I can't do it yet because I don't have a contract signed yet. However, I can't wait to share it all with you because it just goes to show, don't get discouraged if you're out there planning seeds. And listen, I'm always out there planning seeds. And I've actually just saw another seed that was planted a few years ago just came full circle. This person came back into my life out of nowhere and had some great ideas on how we could move together

as partners and do business moving forward. And it was not something that was expected. It was not something that I had planned, but this person and I had always planted seeds for each other and you know, encouraged each other and helped each other and done the next right thing for each other. Didn't ever know if that would turn into a true business partnership, but now it looks like it's going to.

And that's the exciting thing. Keep doing that next right thing. Keep planning that seed, even if you don't know if it will come to fruition. Because when you least expect it, that's when everything comes together. And I'm so grateful now for those seeds that I planted. And then it was funny, I got a note on Instagram yesterday

from a woman that had me on her show, on her podcast back in 2019. She sent me a note and she said, Heather, I was talking to my partner in 2019, you had 47,000 followers. Now you're approaching one million. I just wanted to say congratulations from afar. Don't forget how far you've come and how much further you can go. And I thought that was so cool because of course it's easy to forget how far you've come. We get caught up in the new task and the new challenge and the new opportunity and the

new partnership and the new seeds we're planning. Of course it's easy to forget. So I'm encouraging you to think of how far you've come over the last four years. And if you haven't, it's time now to start pushing yourself to go for more. You are worth it. I'm here to give you permission. 2024 is going to be for more. You are worth it. I'm here to give you permission. 2024 is going to be your year. You've got to start swinging for the fences now and planning for it now. Invest in yourself. Change doesn't happen by chance. It happens when you choose it. So one of the great ways to allow that to happen is to go get my books, confidence

creator, overcome your villains. And by the way, overcome your villains is 50% off right now on Amazon. I just saw that this morning. I don't even know how they decide how to do those things if it's Harper columns, if it's Amazon. No one tells me any of it, but I do know I want to tell you this, it's 50% off. Those two books are game changers.

My favorite, of course, are the Audible, because I narrate it, but I'd love for you to check it out. Read the reviews, see what people are saying. Please leave a review of this show. Please let me know. Do you like the solo episodes or would you rather have me interviewing people like I did the past two weeks? Are there certain people you'd love for me

to interview on this show? Shoot me their name and I will track them down. I wanna bring you as much value as I can. You just need to let your girl know how I can do it. No one succeeds alone. And that includes me. So I appreciate your reviews. I appreciate if you could share the show with one person

you think it could help or support in some way. It would mean the world to me. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. I will be. I decided to change that tiny amount. And the white bell. I couldn't be more insane than the world. I will be. This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network.

I'm Holla Taha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young and Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On Young and Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice

that you can use in your daily life. Each week we dive into a new topic like the art of side hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion and goal setting. I interview A-List guests on Young and Profiting. I've got the best guests. Like the world's number one negotiation expert, Chris Voss, Shark, Damon John, serial entrepreneurs, Alex and Leila Hermosi, and even movie stars like Matthew McConaughey.

There's absolutely no fluff on my podcast, and that's on purpose. Every episode is jam packed with advice that's gonna push your life forward. I do my research, I get straight to the point, and I take things really seriously, which is why I'm known as the podcast Princess, and how I became one of the top podcasters in the world in less than five years. Young and profiting podcast is for all ages. Don't let the name fool you. It's an advanced show.

As long as you want to learn and level up, you will be forever young. So join podcast royalty and subscribe to Young and Profiting Podcast. Or YAP, like it's often called by my YAP fam on Apple Spotify, Cast Box, or wherever you listen to your podcast. called by my app fam on Apple Spotify Cast Box or wherever you listen to your podcast.