Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #393: LEAVE The Past, EMBRACE The Present, & FORECAST The Future With Heather!

Episode Date: January 17, 2024

To check out OneSkin click here! https://shareasale.com/u.cfm?d=1054216&m=102446&u=3821794&afftrack= To get your 15% one time use discount use code: Confidence Remember if you opt in for the subscription you can cancel any time but you can only use the discount code once. In This Episode You Will Learn About: Evaluating how we spend our time How reflecting on the past can turn into circling the drain The importance of just appreciating the present moment What happens when you envision your future Resources: Visit heathermonahan.com Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Go to HelloFresh.com/confidencefree and use code confidencefree for FREE breakfast for life Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/monahan, all lowercase Show Notes:  How we spend our time is so important! Are you focusing on the right things? Sometimes I find myself ruminating on the past or getting caught up in projecting the future. And then the present just slips away! Well today I urge you to pay attention to where your attention is! We must find a balance. Leave the past where it is, never forget to appreciate the current moment, and let your future goals inspire you! Together we can focus on what’s really important. I can do it and so can you! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash monahan. All lower case. Go to Shopify.com slash monahan. Now to grow your business, no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash monahan. I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, you are going to chase down our goals. We've come at a first date and set you up for a better tomorrow. That's your no-see, you're ready. I'm ready for my close time. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week.

Okay, so as you know, I feel like I get messages for you every week, especially when they come up multiple times in a week, and this has definitely been the case this week. So I wanted to share with you a message that I certainly need to hit myself over the headway. I need to remember this. I need to get better at it. And we talked about it a little bit the other day, but it was in a different context.

And sometimes it's helpful to see things through the lens of other people, other experiences and apply it back to your life. So I'm hoping you can do that with this message. I was on a call with someone, this happens often when you're an entrepreneur, as people want to have a discovery meeting with you to find out if you're the right fit to work together. Of course, totally normal.

I'm on a discovery call with this gentleman, super smart, very, very successful, super interesting guy. And he's walking me through his business and some of the challenges he's facing, and then he starts talking a little bit about his philosophy on business and his life. And as he's talking about this, he's very different than I am,

just super interesting. I love meeting different people with different perspectives. You can learn so much from people who are different from you. He starts explaining that one of the reasons he thinks he's so successful in business or has been so successful in business in his career and in his company is because he never looks back ever. And this is interesting because I do not live my life

like that, right? So I think there's something to be learned here. I don't know, you tell me, do you ever look back? I mean, I definitely do to like that, right? So I think there's something to be learned here. I don't know, you tell me, do you ever look back? I mean, I definitely do to a fault, right? So and as he was saying that, I was realizing for myself, ooh, that's a weak spot for me. I have circled the drain before and I've talked to you about this, you know, where you just keep going round

and round the same issue, revisiting it, whether you're beating yourself up about it or just thinking about it, just taking up space in your mind. And as he told me he never does that, it's not part of who he is. I realized how much space he had freed up for new ideas, creativity, opportunity, innovation,

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Fresh makes it for you. Go to HelloFresh.com slash confidence free and use code ConfidenceFree for free breakfast for life. One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. That's free breakfast for life at hello fresh.com slash confidence free with code confidence free. So I want you to ask yourself, do you spend too much time looking back? Now I also believe there is value in looking back and saying, okay, I did that not so great. I could do that differently moving forward. I want to learn this lesson just like we're doing right now right, saying, okay, this is something that I haven't been great at in the past But I can learn from it and now I can change the way I do things moving forward and change the way I do things today in the present moment

So I do feel like that there is some value in looking back a little maybe not anywhere near as much as I have been But I definitely saw that there could be some level of balance between what he was describing and what I've experienced thus far in my life. Okay. He went on to say, he absolutely does not look back ever. He does spend time in the present moment, but the majority of his time is spent in the future. Meaning, when he's sitting in a meeting or he's doing anything, he's thinking he's future

casting. He's thinking about what's going to be happening next week, next month, tomorrow, next year, he's envisioning this future that he's creating. And this is a very, very successful person. I got so much value for it. You couldn't learn from any conversation, any situation, from anybody. More successful or less successful from you. There's always something of value you can take from people.

For me, from this conversation, this person, I just took that applying to my own life. I spend too much time looking backwards, obsessing about why did I do that, or just hanging onto things and taking up space in my life for something that's already passed. I've been doing a much better job this year, staying in the present moment,

which has been a work in progress for me, and I'm getting a lot better at it, and I just remind myself daily, oh, hey, we're in this moment right now. And I did it last night with my son. We were on the couch watching NFL playoffs. And I just grabbed him and said, like, this is so fun. I love doing this with I love that we both love sports. I love hanging out with you.

You're such a fun person. And he's like, what's going on with you? And I said, I'm just really grateful to be here with you right now in this moment. And so getting better at appreciating the moment instead of letting it slip by and, you know, getting on your phone or starting to worry about the work week or my travel, which believe me,

I can jump into that really easy too, right? Like we all can, but just reminding myself, hey, be here right now. You can worry about Monday on Monday. You don't need to worry about Monday on Sunday night. And so I'm getting a lot better at that, which progress over perfection people. Okay, you know, just thinking about those three compartments past, present, future and this client just really hit me over the head with it, even though he was explaining his own experiences, I was applying it back to me. I hope you apply this to you. Where is it that you're spending too much time? And

I don't think probably get never spent too much time in the present, right? Like that's just good. It's really good. I also think there's a lot of value in spending some time in the future and forecasting and envisioning your goals being achieved and these big dreams. I don't know how much value there is spending too much time in the past though. And that's something I'm learning from. So I'd love to hear from you, where is it that you could improve?

Or do you feel like you're nailing it in this arena right now that you're spending a lot of time in the present, sometime in the future, forecasting this beautiful vision for your future and seeing yourself achieving your goals and spending very little time circling the drain in the past. Okay, so I found that super helpful. He also explains to me that he had done the same thing in his personal life with the strategy

and it hadn't worked out as well. In different arenas of our life, different strategies may need to be applied and we can learn and grow from what's worked well and what hasn't. And I just appreciated his perspective. I appreciated the perspective that he gave me on myself. And it took me back to what I shared with you the other day,

which was closing the door. Back, 2023, I talked to you about a relationship I had been in and I was holding space for this person. Even though I didn't really deliberately think I was, I was. I totally was. And deleting that person for my photo literally took that person out of play. And so much has changed for me in 2024. I cannot. It is wild and so exciting. All the opportunities and

partnerships and people that are showing up in my life now. And I truly think it's a function of deciding to vote that person off the island, deciding to close the door on that chapter, right? And I look back, I was challenging myself to do this this weekend and thinking about when that woman fired me. And then boom, that door was shut on that company and that relationship with her and how much positive opportunity

the Elvis Durant show immediately showed up for me, right? I wrote my first book, it took off, it trumped Donald Trump for number one in the business biography list, immediately. Like so many incredible things happen. When you fire your villains, and again, I'm not saying it's about this person being a bad person or an evil person, that's not it. But when you fire these things from your life that are taking up space, that are causing you to circle the drain and think about them all the time and obsess about them. You're giving energy to it. It's taking up all this space in your life. That's blocking all these other incredible things from showing up. This much I know for sure. I look back my entire life and I continually see this. So I'm challenging myself this year, not to hold

space for things that no longer serve me to fire those villains to close the door on the past and open up the door to the present and the future potential opportunities. And I am so encouraging you to do the same. I would love to hear from you where you spend too much time if it's in the past or worrying about the future or if you feel like you're nailing it pretty well in the present and then just leading yourself forward with this future vision. Speak that future life into an existence that you know is coming. Believe it, it's coming. Get excited about it and live in the moment right now where you're taking action around making that happen and close the door on those things

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And I'll tell you, for me, that was purging things from my last home when I sold my condo and South Beach and now it's a year and a half ago. I cleaned out so much of that house and got rid of so much. I'm actually going through the same process again getting rid of a ton of stuff right now and giving it away to charity. And I'll tell you, every time I do that, I free up space for new ideas, opportunities to come into my life. So I'm challenging you, do the same, let go of what no longer serves you, Leave it in the past.

Close a door on it and open the door to new opportunity in your life. It works. It's a game changer. And I am living it right now. And I want to hear if you've ever had an experience like this in your life and what you're looking forward to as your future casting, your 2024.

OK, so just another reminder is so often we might want something but we have trepidation around asking for it and we think other people are going to judge us or be upset. I was reminded yesterday at church that what you don't ask for you're not going to get and our pastor's father is sick and he stood up with his father and asked everyone, please pray for my father. I'm so happy to pray for him. I hope you wouldn't mind praying for Rich Wilkerson senior who's starting his chemo treatments this week and who's dedicated his life to serving others and bringing people closer to Jesus. What an incredible energy, what an incredible outlook he had as he stood up there and said how excited he is for this opportunity, how he knows the Holy Spirit is with him, how he knows that things are going to work out exactly as God's plan

has intended. Just a certainty and this belief and faith that I saw, it was incredible and I asked yesterday on my stories, on my Instagram account, if people could please pray for him, ask for what you want and you can't imagine how many beautiful notes I got back from people who were more than happy to do it, who wanted to help, who were grateful that I let them know he was in this challenging period in his life, and they were grateful that they were tapped to pray for him. So sometimes we get in our heads and think,

we're putting people out, it's gonna be too much to ask, but the reality is let them make that determination. Let them decide what works for them. It's our job just to ask and let them know what the need is. They'll let us know if it's a problem, an opportunity or something that they're grateful for. Don't make that decision for them. Let them make that decision for them. The same way you would want to make that decision for yourself. And if you could pray for him, Rich Wilkerson Senior, for his health, his healing, and his safety, I would be so, so grateful.

Until next week, keep creating your confidence. I'd love it if you could leave a review or share the show with one person. You think it could benefit. And if you've got a topic that you want me to dive into, you can send it to me on any social media platform at Heather Monahan, or you can go to HeatherMonahan.com and leave me a note and I will take it on for you. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. When things go sideways, will you be prepared?

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