Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #40: A Super Bowl sit-down with Lilly Singh, Busy Phillips and Rob Maaddi

Episode Date: February 4, 2020

A Super Bowl sit-down with Lilly Singh, Busy Phillips and Rob Maaddi. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Thank you for listening to this Podcast One production. Available on Apple Podcasts and Podcast One. When you join me here, Podcast One, you're going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. That's your journey with me. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so excited you're here. This has been the craziest week.

If you don't know, now you know, the Super Bowl was in Miami. And while I would not have thought that would have been a big deal, it actually ended up being a huge deal for my business. And one of these experiences that you definitely can't project or predict, but remind me of the importance of keeping good relationships, not burning bridges, and staying in touch with people that you've worked with. So a friend of mine from my past broadcast life back when I was in radio reached out to me two weeks ago and said, hey, Heather, I'm coming to Miami for media and press and would love to

see if we can catch up. I said, yeah, of course. I'd love to see you. Haven't seen this friend in a really long time and was excited. And then he offered to add me to his associated press radio lineup, interview lineup for NFL Super Bowl week. Now, I didn't even know this was a thing. In my past career, I was a chief revenue officer. I was on the business side. So I wouldn't typically attend events like this. This is the kind of an event. The talent goes to the personalities that used to be on the radio stations that I would monetize.

So it was the other side of my business. And what's so interesting is, even though I had 20 years in this business, I had no idea this whole opportunity even existed, which that really opened my eyes. And I hope it opens yours to how much. much is going on in our industries, in our business, and just in the world in general, that we are completely unaware of. I didn't know what the NFL experience was. I didn't know what the media events were all about. Yes, I knew there are parties for the Super Bowl and I knew there was the big game, but I didn't understand this entire other ecosystem that existed around the Super Bowl.

So I want to explain it to you. So you understand. Basically, what happens is every press outlet, media outlet, and personality comes into the city where the Super Bowl is being played one week beforehand. And they set up shop wherever the designation has been deemed. And in this case, it was the Miami Beach Convention Center. And on the second floor of the convention center, the first floor was the NFL experience, which if you haven't been before, I have a 12-year-old son. This is so important that you go, take your kids. It is so fun. My son waited in line for hours to get NFL players autographs and got to enter into competitions. And it was a really cool experience. But for me, the second floor was really cool because that was the media floor. And that was where

all of the athletes, personalities, celebrities, brand promotion and interviews was occurring. Sirius XM had their own area. Westwood One had their own area. These are all different media outlets. there was this one floor that had every different show you could imagine, and that's where my friend with the Associated Press was located. So basically, you're in this huge arena area. That's just this great open space. And you're there from 8 in the morning until 6 at night with just a constant stream of people coming in from Martha Stewart to Busy Phillips, to Gary Vaynerchuk, to David Meltzer, to Jenny. McCarthy to Kevin Hart. The spectrum on the personalities that are there is massive. And Joe Montana,

I mean, there's plenty of NFL players and retired NFL players. But what I found so interesting is there's a lot of brands there as well. Like I remember the Sleep Number, Mattress Company was there and so many others, Nickelodeon was there. So there's all these different brands. There's all these personalities. And really my assessment in a big picture overview is everyone's pushing something, everyone's promoting something. And while often I feel like I'm the only person in the world that's out there hustling so hard and trying to get my message heard, last week I realized everybody's in that same boat. Gary Vaynerchuk is not there all day long going table to table, interview to interview, promoting himself because it's easy. It's because

he wants to break through and make that impact, and he's been doing it for over a decade now, and that's why he's where he is today. But he's not stopping. You know, Katie Couric was there, pressing the flesh, doing the interviews, table to table. I just keep Martha Stewart, I mean, these people who have been around for so long achieve such great success, yet they're still there, pressing the flesh, doing the interviews, Tiki barber. it was just mind-blowing for me to see and very humbling to help me remember, no, it's not just me

out there trying to break through. It's people that have already made it. People that you put on a pedestal that you think have millions of followers and make millions of dollars a year. And they do, but they're not just rolling it up and phoning it in. Nope. They were out on that floor, pressing the flesh and doing the interviews too. So that encouraged me that it's not time to slow down, it's time to speed up. And if Gary Vaynerchuk can be out there doing Radio Row and the media press junket the whole week leading up to Super Bowl with his people in tow, his video cameras in toe, promoting himself and his shows and his brands, I can keep doing it too. So I hope that encourages you to hear that caliber of success and that level of celebrity that they're all out there

lining up in the grime. And let me tell you, it is a grind. Because even to get into this venue. You have to get credentials ahead of time. You have to be approved by the NFL Super Bowl committee. You have to go and retrieve your passes each day. You have to wait in countless lines to be put through security. I mean, it's really intense. And it was just, it was very eye-opening to me the way or the difference that how I thought I worked and how I figured other people did once they achieve success. And I definitely was wrong there. So hoping that that connects with you and reminds you to keep going, keep pushing because other people are out there doing the same even if you don't see it. And I certainly, certainly saw it.

So I do have some exciting news for you because I've been getting asked a lot about why can't we hear creating confidence on Spotify? Well, now you can. It's official. Our show is now available on Spotify and it's free. We want to make it super easy for you and your friends to listen to the podcast and join Spotify so you can find us even more places now and we can build our community even further. Spotify is working to help listeners discover the shows they love and now this podcast is one of them. If you're already listening to music on Spotify, now you can listen to my podcast in the same place. If you're not on Spotify yet, all you have to do is download the free app. That's right. No credit card necessary and simply search for our show to start listening for

free now. I'm so glad because I have had so many requests to have this show put on Spotify. So definitely check it out if you're not on Spotify yet. You are going to love it. So this week is crazy. I went to the Super Bowl. My son and I, we were super lucky to get an opportunity to go to the game. And what was really meaningful for me is this was the first Super Bowl where there was a female coach and that female coach happens to be a guest of creating confidence. She was on my show a couple months ago, Katie Sowers, and I'm so proud of her and proud of the fact that she had a dream and a vision that no one else saw, that people didn't believe was possible because no one else had done it before her. Yet here she is paving the way for others. So now when other little girls think of,

what do you want to be when you grow up, they can add NFL coach at the Super Bowl to that list knowing it's possible where she had been told it wasn't. So whatever your dreams are, just dream bigger, don't allow people to tell you no. Katie Sowers definitely did not. And if you haven't heard this interview, please go back in my show episodes and check out the episode with Katie Sowers because it was the beginning of football season when I sat down with her. And I certainly didn't know that she'd be going to the Super Bowl. I don't know that she knew either. But it's so cool now coming out, you know, just having been there watching her. And I ran into her twin sister at Media Row at the NFL experience and got to chat with her and just seeing the pride that everyone

has, regardless of what team you cheer for or who your team is or who won, it's kind of irrelevant. It's just one of those moments you really want to celebrate that someone is out there pursuing their passion, their dream, and not allowing others' limitations to be put on them. So super, super proud of her. And super grateful to my friend Rob Motty, who you're going to meet today on the show. Unbelievable. It's the first time I'm interviewing a friend. on my show, but he is the individual that got me into this unbelievable media experience where I got

the chance to meet so many people, including Lily Singh and Busy Phillips, who you're about to meet too. And Lily Singh, this is so interesting, I had no idea who she was. Turns out, I am probably one of the only people that didn't know who she was. She is one of the largest personalities on YouTube, grossing more than $10 million a year. She has graced the covers of countless magazines. She just launched a Super Bowl commercial with O'Lay, along with Busy Phillips. I mean, she's got her own television show, late-night TV show. She's a comedian.

This girl is killing it. And before I interviewed her, Rob had given me the heads up. We were going to get the chance to meet with her. and I googled her and started researching a lot about who she is, what her YouTube's about, and really dug into her content. And while she's got a lot of very funny content, she definitely gives her parents a hard time on YouTube. And it's very, very funny and super relatable. She also had some really interesting content around how she has achieved this level of success. And again, she's more than 10 years in. So she's put the time in. But she's got some very specific,

steps that she's taken that she attribute to why she has made it to the Grammys, made it to major network television, and made it to making millions of dollars a year on YouTube. And I'm really excited to share it with you in just a minute. But first, want to ask, do you own or rent a home? I sure do. And I bet it's hard work. Well, I know it is. You know what's easy, though? Bundling policies with Geico. Geico makes it easy to bundle your homeowners or renters insurance, along with your auto policy, it's a good thing too, because you already have so much to do around your home. Go to geico.com. Get a quote. See how much you could save. It's Geicoeasy. Visit geico.com today. That's geico.com. So now I am super excited to introduce you to Lily Singh. And if you're like me and you hadn't

heard of her, gosh, you've got to check out her YouTube. And we've got to start paying better attention because this woman is making waves and I can't wait for you to hear what she attributes her success to. Hold tight. Hi, and welcome back. This is surreal. And you know what it actually is all about is last night I was watching your manifestation video on YouTube. I'm obsessed with it. Thank you.

No, I didn't go and print out your picture last night and envision myself interviewing you. But I swear, I feel like this is all part of the process. and I know that so much of your career has been about manifestation. Can you share a little bit about that? Absolutely. So I am on my fourth-ish vision board, which you don't know what that is, essentially, taking pictures, paste them on a board of things you want to have come true in your life. I'm a really big believer of having goals, looking at them every day,

making a plan, working hard, and having the universe give them to you with your hard work. So I believe one of my skills is manifestation, for sure. When I think about something, it happens. That's crazy because my background's corporate America, and I used to think that was woo-woo people that are, you know. And a lot of people do. A hundred percent. And so it's almost you're running at a disadvantage until you start to embrace that you can actually attract something to you.

And don't get me wrong. Hard work is definitely part of the recipe. You can't just paste something on a board and sit back and be like, oh, I'll wait for the universe to give me a Ferrari. You have to work hard, of course. But I think the purpose of manifestation and visualization of vision board is so you have direction. You have direction. You have goals. You have a plan, you know, of where you want to go.

And I think that's very important. Thank you for sharing that. Of course. Okay. And I totally, I'm in it with you 100%. So there's so much I want to ask you, and I know we're limited on time. So thinking about how far you've come in such a finite window, you know, really in the last decade, it's just been exponential.

Other than manifesting, what do you attribute your success to? I always, people always ask me, is what's your secret to YouTube success or a secret to your late night show? And I always give two very simple answers. I mean, of course, I could go into the algorithm and thumbnails and content and best practices. But when you strip it all away, it comes down to two very simple things. And again, some people might listen to this and be like, oh, what nonsense.

But this is truthfully what I did. Work hard and be nice to people. I think, you know, there is no substitute for hard work. There is no recipe. There is no thing. Nothing I can tell you but a YouTube thumbnail that will substitute hard work. It's failing and trying again and failing and pivoting and trying again. And being nice to people is just not spoken about enough.

I think there's great value in. Being kind to people because ultimately it's people you work with. It's people that give you opportunities. It's people who are in the room, in the meetings with you. And so I think being a pleasant person to work with is very meaningful and it does not get discussed enough. Well, I'll tell you, not only are you so pleasant, but so is your team. So thank you so much for making this few minutes for meeting. Of course, absolutely.

You're getting pulled out of here right now. But best of success continues to. Appreciate it. Thank you so much. Great to meet you. Podcast One has some exciting news. It's official. Our shows are now available on Spot.

and it's free. We want to make it super easy for you and your friends to listen to our podcasts. And joining Spotify allows us to be in even more places for fans to find us. If you're already listening to music on Spotify, you can now listen to our podcasts in the same place. If you're not on Spotify yet, all you have to do is download the free app. That's right, no credit card necessary, and simply search for our shows to start listening. So it's not often that I get to meet someone that I am having a fan moment over. And this week was so crazy because there were so many celebrities and athletes all around.

But this one woman really got my attention. I am such a fan girl over her. Not only is she a very accomplished actress and has been huge in Hollywood, she had her own show on E, which killed it, by the way. I don't understand how great shows can get canceled. Unfortunately, hers did. And I know that was really painful for her, for her daughter. And for all of her fans like me that love the show and thought she brought some real value and some great interviews and a lot of fun, she's a fantastic person.

And when you sit with her, you just feel like you've known her forever. Those are my kind of people. And what I really love about Busy Phillips is that she didn't have her own show to begin with. So she created one on her Insta story. Brilliant move. She didn't have a lane. So she went out and formed her own lane. and through that content and through creating that content, taking that risk on and just putting

something out there, not knowing how people would receive it, that's how she ended up landing her own e-show, which, again, ultimately was canceled. But I can tell you one thing I know about Busy Phillips, that will not stop her. She has gone on to so many brand endorsements since then, just launching this amazing advertisement for O-Lay at the Super Bowl. I mean, to have your own Super Bowl commercial is so epic. I just, I don't even know what to relate to. But like me, she is a woman in her 40s.

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O-S-S-I-E-R dot com slash podcast slash confidence. Certain exclusions apply. Okay, so now we are about to sit down with my fan girl moment, busy Phillips, and I can promise you this. You are going to feel her a vibe. She's going to encourage you to overcome your adversity just like she is overcoming church. I am so excited to be sitting here with busy Phillips.

I just told you, I'm a super fan of your. It's really nice. Thank you. for you making time. So thank you for this. Yeah, I'm happy to do it. So as I mentioned, my show is all about creating confidence. And one of the things I admire so much about you is your resilience. I just keep seeing you come back. You don't give up. And to me, that's the hardest part. Oh, yeah. I'm committed to saying, you know what, I'm going to reinvent, I'm going to do this again, I'm going to believe in me. How do you do that? I do have to say that one thing that has always

driven me. I've thought a lot about this. I've talked about it in therapy is my desire to prove people wrong. Now, I think you have to get like a little bit, you have to be careful when you, you know, act from a place that's maybe considered a little bit more negative. Like I always am trying to lead with the positive. But I do think that there's so much power to having that thing, to, to knowing that someone expects a thing of you, one particular thing, and then saying, you know what, I'm capable of so much more. And that is the, that's the thing you have. have to find inside yourself, knowing that you're capable of so much more and not believing when someone puts you in the box because they're always going to put you in a box.

You know what I mean? Oh, yeah. They definitely are. I know you know. And it's up to us to smash those boxes and take our talents wherever we want to go. Yeah, yeah, exactly. And I think that it's, you know, one of the things that I love, I'm here with Olai at the Super Bowl because I have a commercial with OLA.

Huge. I know. I'm so excited. And one of the things that I love about Olai is that their messaging is really about. strength and confidence and, you know, feeling good in your own skin, you know, that is hard to do. Powerful. Yes, it can be hard to do. But once you're able to access that, the world opens up for you. It really does. And I felt that. I think that that's part of why I've been finding more and more success as I get older. Because I think when you're younger, it's harder to access those things to know that you

have it inside of you that you don't need the rest of the world to validate you. And when you really get it from within, other people sit up and take notice. Well, I'm taking huge notice of you. Thank you for leading from the front. I love the ad we cover. I love the campaign. It's so cool. It's so cool. I'm cheering you on. Thanks so much. It was so nice to meet you. Yeah, this is all exciting. I hope you enjoyed meeting busy as much as I did. She really was so exciting to talk to it. I'm so so proud of her. Can't wait to see what she does next.

This girl is on to big things. Okay. So next, the whole reason why I got this opportunity this week, old friend, Rob Motty, good friend, great friend. I'm so excited we were able to spend the week together. And he was so sweet. Actually came down from his press box at the Super Bowl to come over and say hello to my son and he's just a great guy really really proud of him proud of all he's done and you are about

to hear how shocked I am that he reveals next a portion of his life I was completely unfamiliar with which this opened my eyes to how little we really know about people even though we can have special people in our lives that are our good friends do we really know about their past and it's important I think to find these things out because it helps us to understand and appreciate who they are today. When you want more, start your business with Northwest registered agent and get access to thousands of free guides, tools, and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business.

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Let me give you a little background on Rob. He's a best-selling author, radio and television personality, former reality TV show star, a dynamic speaker, and he's covered local. and national sports for the world's largest news organization since 2000. He's been with the Associated Press. He hosts the syndicated Faith on the Field Show on 610 ESPN Radio in Philadelphia. He's a Philadelphia-based sports writer, national football writer for AP, Major League Baseball Hall of Fame voter, and past president of the Philadelphia chapter of the Baseball Writers Association of America. This guy is sports everywhere. He's written or co-written

In eight books, his latest title, Birds of Prey, the story of the Philadelphia Eagles' faith, Brotherhood, and Super Bowl victory was released in 2018. He's a father, he's got twin girls, he's an amazing husband, but this was not always the case. Rob definitely struggled with demons in his life, as we all do. But he definitely made some very specific choices to change the trajectory of his life. And he's going to explain to us how he did it. Please keep an open mind when you're listening to this because I know a lot of people shut down at the idea of cheating. And it's an emotional topic for a lot of people.

But I have to tell you, I know this guy this week wouldn't have happened without this guy. And he is a different person today because of the discipline he has in himself, the choices, and his faith. And it's really eye-opening. I encourage you to listen because I'm glad I did. and it was something I knew nothing about, and he definitely taught me some major lessons. But first, if you don't know your numbers, you don't know your business.

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who I wouldn't be here at Super Bowl Radio Row Without. So thanks for having me, Rob and thanks for being on my show. Well, hey, it's awesome to have you here. and it's awesome to be on your show, and I've been listening and watching and seeing what you're doing, and you're very inspiring, Heather. So it's an honor to be on your show. Oh, thank you so much. I appreciate it immensely. So for my listeners that might not know your backstory, why don't we start with,

were you always as confident as you are today? Absolutely not. And that's why I love when I see you talking about creating confidence, because I feel so many people out there really lack confidence. and they maybe sometimes overcompensate for it by pretending to be confident, and it could lead them down a path of self-destructive behavior, Heather, like I did. Like, I was a guy who grew up with a funny name because my parents are from the Middle East, and as I told you earlier, you know, my name, I go by Rob, but it's spelled differently.

It's spelled like Broccoli Rob, R-A-B-E, but I dropped that and go by R-O-B. Because kids were giving you a hard time. Kids in school would give me a hard time about that. And that affected your confidence. They would call me different kinds of names and where's your camel? No, I never wrote a camel. I don't know anything about them. I've never seen any.

I've seen them at the zoo. But because I didn't have confidence as a kid or because I dealt with that, I started to figure out how can I develop confidence? How can I put up with being teased a little bit? You know, nobody wants to be teased in school. No. So what I did in growing up, and I also wore glasses back then. And it was different.

You know, contacts were the greatest thing ever. So when I got that in seventh grade, it changed my life. But what I did was I was really into sports, which has become a career for me. And I loved playing. And I was fortunate enough, blessed enough to have enough talent to where, like, I was one of the best kids in my class playing sports. So I was like, this gets me, it allows me to fit in or blend in a little bit better because I'm not like the nerdy kid getting straight A's now with a funny name. I'm also the best athlete. And also, I really wanted to, as I got older into high school and after high school, I was like,

so if I'm really good at sports and I work on my body and I could be as attractive as possible and I could hook up with as many girls as possible, you know, that's going to give me confidence. That's what I'm going to be like. And that's what I aspired to do. And I did that. Where did you learn that, do you think? I don't know. I think it was like a product of our environment because, you know, you look around.

And it doesn't really help you what you watch on TV or what people talk about because you're cool. You're cool and you're popular if you're that guy, right? If you're that guy, that's what it was for me back then in the 90s. So if you're that guy and you're hanging out with attractive women and you're really good at sports or whatever it is like that, you were cool. You fit in. And that became who I wanted to be. And that took over my life. So at the same time, I had a.

a relationship and a long relationship, a lovely person. We got married and she would go out with me and we would party and she was attractive and her friends were attractive and I became a sports writer and I had this job that allowed me to, I was young in my job and I would hang out with athletes and I would see them and I had street cred in their eyes because like here's Rob, he's hanging out with girls that they want to hook up with, right? So now, pretty soon, I stopped partying with my wife at the time and started partying with them and started living the lifestyle they were living. And that led me to being unfaithful over and over and over again.

And ultimately that led to a divorce. And quickly, from that I went into another relationship and the same pattern of behavior continued, into another relationship and the same pattern of behavior continued. and all of that, to me, stems from that lack of confidence that was instilled in me because of growing up and being different. Because I was in a school. I went to Catholic schools for 12 years, but I didn't fit in. I was the only person with the Middle Eastern background,

and I was the only person with a funny name and all that stuff. So that's why I look at confidence and I go, it could be a dangerous thing if we mean. misuse it, right? Because if we are, if we have fake confidence, that's not real confidence. And I love what you do is trying to help people create and instill real confidence in who they want to be and in who they are and not put on a persona. See, I became Rob, this party guy, this, like, all my friends wanted to be, no one in my life, Heather, at any point when I was living that lifestyle pulled me aside and said, Rob, you know what you're doing? It's not, it's not cool.

I can't believe, right? No. You didn't have anyone like that in your life. I had enablers. Everybody wanted to be my wingman. You were picking people that would cheer you on. Yeah, he wants to go out and get the leftovers, right? That was their mentality. So I would justify my behavior like, hey, I'm a reporter. I'm hanging out with athletes now. So what's going to happen is I'm going to get to scoop in all the stories because we're partying together. We were competing for women together. We would have competitions. It was insane. And the thing is, that was just me telling myself trying to justify my pattern of behavior.

But when we were out partying, we never talked about what was going on in a locker room. We never talked about any of that stuff. It was just me trying to really justify it. And when we justify your behavior, it's always going to lead you down a self-destructive path. And that's what it did for me for many, many years. And this cycle continued, I'll tell you, up until 2,000. 2010. Oh my gosh. So what was the catalyst for you to implement some real change? So what happened for me is in 2010, the relationship, the third relationship that I had, that was a long one, I went from one to another to another. It ended. So it ended in May of 2010. And how did I overcome that or self-soothe, really? I went on a 36-day party streak.

Oh my gosh. 36 straight nights. I was out. somewhere, partying, having at least one drink. I was never really a drinker, right? But I would at least have one drink. I was never into, I never did drugs and never smoked or any of that stuff. So that's another thing. I would justify my behavior and tell myself, well, you don't do drugs. You don't do any of this stuff, right?

You don't go to strip clubs because I put myself up to standards, right? I didn't want to have. This is me. So, Rob, your only voice is you're a womanizer. That's it. That's all you do. And I would justify that behavior. You were minimizing your behavior by comparing yourself to people that you

thought we're running at an even lower level. Exactly. I would say, well, that person's worse than me. That's worse. Hell, he's a junkie or he's this or he's that. I'm not that. I'm not bad. I'm just a womanizer, and everybody likes me,

and I'm still friendly and all that good stuff. So eventually in 2010, after that 36-day streak, I call that rock bottom for me, because when you're partying 36 straight days in a row, that is not a good place to be in. You were exhausted. Let me tell you. But the confidence was it was shot, but it was fake because nobody saw that.

Nobody saw that. Because I put on a persona in front of people like I was tough, like I was steel, like nothing bothered me. No one knew the real you. No, no, nobody knew. They knew this image of who I wanted to be. And what happened in 2010 is I met someone, I met a woman who said to me, see, I had always had a background of faith, growing up going to Catholic schools, growing up going to the Catholic Church.

I had that faith background. And she said to me, you know what, I want to take you somewhere else, a different kind of church. And I was such a snob about religion. I was like, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't want to go anywhere else. This is all I know because that was my comfort zone, right? It was my comfort zone.

I would go to church. I learned to do whatever I wanted to do for six days a week, go to church on Sunday, pretend I'm in a good place, leave, do my thing again, go to what we called confession, and tell a priest, and then start all over again. And just that pattern continued and continued. And finally, so she convinced me, like, I want to take you somewhere else. And she took me to a church in New York called Times Square Church. So I go in there and, like, I knew nothing about this place.

It was like an old theater. It was, you got this gospel music going on. It was incredibly different. Unreal. And I heard different testimonies from people who have been changed through Christ. And I was like, this is not what I, no, I'm not comfortable here. And I thought I was potentially going to be involved in a relationship with this woman. And I think about a couple weeks into it, she said, God put me here to prepare you for your next relationship.

We don't have a future together. So you know what I said to myself? I'm going to go look for another woman, right? So I'm going out. I'm still looking for someone else to date. I'm doing all that. And she still wanted to drag me to church again. So I went to Times Square Church with her a second time.

And I heard a powerful message. And something inside me was stirring. So I finally went with her a third time. And the third time I went with her was August 29, 2010. And I heard someone stand there and say, he was a drug dealer. And he was caught in a. a drug bust. And he could have gone to jail because of the amount of drugs that he had in his possession

for probably a long time. But what happened was a policeman took that stash of drugs and flushed it down a sewer, just threw it down there and said, I'm giving you a second chance at life. And that guy said, I ran off, turned my life around, never sold drugs again. He went into ministry, and he was on there saying to me that policeman that day, that cop who did that for me, gave me that second chance, was Jesus in disguise. And that's what he thought. So at this service, at Times Square Church, which I was still unfamiliar with, like, I don't know what's going on in here. I hear it's different music. This is strange. This is whatever.

The pastor then speaks, and I'm still unfamiliar with all this stuff. So the pastor invites you if you felt compelled to just walk down to the front of the church. And you walk down to the front of the church. And he said, if anyone wants to turn their life over to Christ, I'm going to give you that opportunity. And I'm like, again, the ego. The ego is so, and I'm sitting way up in the nosebleed section at this church. It's an amphitheater. And I'm sitting up there, I'm going, if I stand up right now and I start walking down there, people are going to think, I'm a junkie or I'm this or that. Like, I had this ego. Again, I'm still, to that very last minute, I'm trying to justify and go, but I'm only a womanizer. It's not that big a deal.

But you were still doubting yourself too. Yes. And worried what other people would think, which is, again, very clear signs of lacking confidence. Exactly. Because you should never care about what other people think. But finally, the Spirit won that battle. I say the Holy Spirit won that battle because we were fighting. And he won that battle. I got up and I walked down. And she was with me. She said, if you want to go, I'll hold your hand. She walked me down. And she walked me down there. And it was the first time. I got up. I was the first time. in my life where I had this moment where I stood there, I blocked out everyone. I didn't care. When I got to the front of that church, that altar, and I said to myself, like, this is it.

This is my opportunity now. Like, I have hit rock bottom. What am I doing? Where am I going to go? I've gone through a divorce. I've lost a lot of money. I've done a lot of things that I'm no longer proud of and I want to be the man that I was created to be, but I can't do it on my own and I need help. So where am I going to turn for help? See, we turn for help in so many different ways. Sometimes we turn for help in the wrong places where we try and self-medicate and we turn to drugs and we turn to alcohol. So at that moment, I turned to the Lord and I said, I need your help. I don't know what I'm going to, I can't do this on my own. I kept telling myself when I meet the right one, Right, Heather?

We tell ourselves all the time. When I meet the right one, I'm going to never cheat again. I'm going to settle down, get married, have kids, and live happily ever after. Never happened. That moment when I said, Lord, I need your help, I felt this incredible burden lifted off my shoulder. I'm telling you, I was in there, and I just said, I cried out. Lord, I need your help. In front of everyone at the church?

Tears coming down my face. Oh, my gosh. Okay. Lord, help me, I need you, I can't do this on my own. And this weight that I've been carrying, it must have felt like a thousand pounds. At that moment was lifted. And I turned around, and there are people who were in that church on that day, August 29, 2010. I've never seen before, probably never seen again.

They clapping for me. They're cheering. They're hugging me. They're like just so excited and happy for me. I walked out of there a new person because now I felt for the first time I wasn't in this battle alone. That fight that I was going back and forth with myself that began as a young kid with no confidence whatsoever, that burden had been lifted. And now I walked out of that church and I was like, I got some backup help now.

When I'm feeling low, when I'm feeling down, when I'm feeling the urge to go into that bar and hook up with that girl, or if I'm doing any of that, I'm going to call on the Lord. And it didn't instantly change who I was. It was a slow pattern. The woman who led me there was right that she had been preparing me for another relationship. And within a couple weeks after that or maybe a month or so, we no longer communicated as friends. And I just went about continuing to try and change my life, instilling real confidence in my life. not this fakeness, not who the persona, the image of Rob, this guy, that this party guy,

that all the players want to hang out with and all the friends want to go out with, I wanted to be true to who I was really supposed to be. And within about six months or so, I met Remy, and she was new in her faith, I was new in my faith, and it was just like exactly as that woman had said, I'm preparing you for that next relationship, and Remy and I hit it off so quickly, that by the fourth date, she'll swear that this isn't true. She showed me the wedding dress or the ring that she wanted. And we were quickly engaged within 10 months, married within six,

and then within a few months after doing some reality television, she became pregnant with twins, and my life has been one blessing after another. And those issues that I had to go through, I could have not resolved them if it weren't for that moment where I said, hey, listen, I can't do this on my own and I'm turning it over to you. I give up. I give up fighting because a lot of times we try and think,

I got this under control, I got this under control, and then it just evolves, it dissolves into a situation where you can't control it anymore. And that was my moment, and it's been an incredible journey ever since. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than a rough patch, you don't need just another meditation app. Takayatry makes it easy to see a psychiatrist online using your insurance in days. Takayatry is 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, insomnia, and more.

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with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few minutes. That's tachydry.com slash confidence to get matched in minutes. It's mind-blowing to me because I've known you for a while and I had no idea about this story. And I know you as such a loving husband and father and someone who's so committed to his family and is such a man of faith that it really is shocking to hear this. Did you, at any point in time since that day in that church, as you started creating real true confidence in yourself and started becoming the person that you said you were meant and born to be, did you ever have moments of true struggle where you thought, I can't keep going forward to this? I need to go back to these easier ways, this other way of living. Oh, my goodness, of course. And those are moments where I feel like there's tests, there's little trials in the way,

and that's where I always, I'm calling on my higher power. I'm calling on the Lord, like, help me here, help me here. And at first, there would be more moments of temptation, but then you have to, I call it like train yourself, right? So I took myself out of an environment that would put me, in that kind of give me that urge or whatever it would be. So I wouldn't go out to party with guy friends. I'm not going to put myself, you know, you're not going to put a drink in front of an alcoholic, right?

Well, I'm not going to go party at a club where girls are dancing and they're scantily clad and all that stuff. I just stopped doing that. It got to a point, Heather, where after Remy and I got married, I thought it's actually not even fair for me to ever compliment a woman. So it drives her nuts. It drives her I mean nuts. She's like, come on, obviously that girl over there is beautiful. She's gorgeous, you know. And like today, here we are. We're on Radio Row. You see the scenery and everything around here. Lily Singh comes up to me and I introduce her and she's like, hey, you look great. And the tendency would be to be like, oh, you look great too. Even in a moment like that, I just don't say it. No, you instead say,

can you say it on air, please? That's it. I said, oh, you got to say that on air. But that got me out of feeling like I have to compliment someone back. So you don't compliment because you feel it's a slippery slope? Yes. Interesting. I feel like it's, you know, I feel like it's kind of disrespectful to be in what I feel

is a marriage that is based on just so much commitment, trust, love, respect that I don't, you know, Beautiful women, no, they're beautiful. And there's a million people who are going to tell them they're beautiful. So why should I? So that's how strict I am about it. You're disciplined. Yeah, it takes so much discipline. If I go to the beach and we're out there and I got my girls, I got Remy with me, if they go somewhere away or whatever, I just look at my phone.

I'm not going to look around because I don't want to put myself, I don't even want to have a thought. So I had to train myself, like to take, one, take myself out of the environment and two, discipline yourself to the point where the thoughts don't even enter your mind. Because I can't even fathom doing now what I did back then. But then when I look at what I did back then, it allowed me to grow, to change, to evolve, to go from being someone with false, fake confidence, and be someone who is really, I wouldn't say so strong, but someone who is so disciplined and structured that I know I can't fail. I'm not going to fail. And you know what's so interesting is, as I'm hearing you explain your situation, this isn't just about people who are quote-unquote cheaters. This could be someone that the pattern could be different.

Maybe they're surrounding themselves with people that talk down to them. Maybe they're surrounding themselves with people that tell them they're not smart. They're not worthy. and it's about picking, you're going to change the environment, you're going to create a discipline where you instill new practices, you speak to yourself differently, you're going to take steps and surround yourself with different kinds of people that uplift you and stretch you.

However, there might be times where you might slip back into that area again, suddenly you're surrounded with negative people again, and it comes in slowly because we're so conditioned to it, it seems normal, and I've done this myself. I've ended up in a couple of different jobs where I've been treated badly. It wasn't just one, because you start getting comfortable back in it. And I really applaud your discipline and creating that vision and adhering to it very strictly

because the more strict and more disciplined you are, the easier success is going to be. No doubt. And I always feel like there's going to be people along your way who are going to create stumbling blocks. So remove them from your life. And it could be someone who you think is close to you or it could be someone who is a family member, whatever it could be. but if there are people who are going to prevent you from being who you really were meant to be, who God created you to be, they don't need to be in your life.

My problem sometimes is I'm too nice. You've seen this, and I needed you here with me today because you've been awesome. Like, people are coming up to us and they're offering us all kinds of, hey, do you want to interview this guest? You want to, I hate to say no to people. I ain't got time for your interview, to be honest with me. I've got like a loaded schedule. I've got all these people here, and I'm like, all right, sure, you know.

And then you jumped in. And I appreciated that. Because you're like, you know what, Rob, I'll do this one. I got this one for you. You couldn't do that one. No, no, no. Thank you. So did you ever with, because of your job, and so people understand, you're constantly with professional athletes.

And today is a great example. You had celebrities are being tossed to you. Professional athletes, I mean, icons from the NFL are being tossed at you left and right. Did you ever consider walking away from this business in order? to protect your commitment, faith, or was that not necessary? Well, I became so strong in, my passion became so strong to share my faith and to share my story. Because I feel like my story not only is for anyone who was going through what I went through as a womanizer, as a cheater, as an unfaithful husband, you could be going through any kind of

addiction. It could be drugs. It could be alcohol. It could be whatever that you're struggling, anxiety, depression, you could be struggling with something. And my passion became, go around and share my message with people and let them know, there's a way out. There's a way out because I saw it on 829-10 when I stood at that church, and I cried out in front of people, and I finally allowed myself to become vulnerable. See, I never wanted anyone to see me at that low point, but I was like, you know what, It's okay to be vulnerable because I am now ready to be someone new, someone different.

And I wanted to go around and share that message with people, and I love doing it. I even go, Heather, I go into prison. I mean, talk about going into places, right, where it could be intimidating. You've got men who've committed all kinds of crimes. I mean, the worst of the worst in there. And I get an opportunity to share my message with them. And it's so, it's the most rewarding thing I've ever done to see a great. grown man cry because you know you've touched them you've impacted their life and one time i came back

we were uh it was in 2016 i came back from ohio we go on this thing we call it a crusade and it was um it was incredible we went into 20 prisons in five days and we play softball too that's our way to get in there and we played about 40 games but i came back and i was like i don't want to work you know i'm at the top of my field associated press sports writer in philadelphia NFL writer for the ap Now I'm in my 21st year doing that. I do so many different things in radio in Philadelphia. I do radio shows for AP. I've done TV.

And I was like, I'm going to walk away from all this. And I want to focus on a life filled with ministry work. Now, at the time, I'm newly married. I got two twin girls. And I have a beautiful wife, a mortgage and everything. So what am I going to do? So I sit down with a pastor. His name is Kyle Horner.

and I had never met him until that day. And I just reached out to him. There were some different ways through the Eagles that it led me to noticing him, hearing him preach a message. And I was like, wow, that's pretty powerful. I want to talk to this guy. And I sat down with him and he said, Rob, why would you leave where you are? Why would you, you've been blessed with talent and ability

and been given this platform. Take Jesus to your marketplace. Take your faith into your marketplace. And I created a show called Faith on the Field. and I've allowed that to go. I wrote a book on the Eagles when they won a Super Bowl two years ago from the perspective of the brothers in Christ on that team. We called it Birds of Prey, P-R-A-Y, and I've now built relationship.

This is how it's come full circle. So I used to, early in my career, hang out and party in the bars and the clubs with the players I cover. And that led me down one road. Now, 20 years later, I'm going to church and Bible studies with the players I cover. So it's a completely different. thing. I'm leading events, faith in football events, or faith on the field shows where the players that I cover that play for the teams are on these as my guests. And now I'm allowing that to

influence me rather than allowing all of these other guys. And we can get into this real quickly because we would be remiss if we didn't mention Kobe Bryant and what happened to him tragically. Well, Kobe, my first interaction with him was in 2001 or two. I can't remember the year, but I was at a club, and he was in Philly, and he saw me partying with attractive women. And the next day in the locker room, when I was covering a Sixers-Lakers game, everybody wants a piece of Kobe, right? Everybody wants to talk to Kobe. So after the media, the horde of reporters walks away, he sees me, and he calls me over. And he tells me, like, hey, man, I saw you last night, right? And we have a conversation

about who I was hanging out with and the women, and we talked about that. And to me, I was like, at that point, when I still was trying to justify my behavior, I'm like, look at this, it's giving me street cred with Kobe. He wasn't to talk to me otherwise, but he saw me partying last night with these girls,

and now he wants to know more about me, and we're just having a conversation, and I allowed that to take me, I allowed that to inspire me the wrong way. And sometimes we look for inspiration in the wrong ways when we know our behavior is not what it should be. be. Well, he's another person who truly turned his life towards serving others and really, you know, from what I could see as, you know, an outsider really made a commitment to service, which is what

you're explaining helped you to stay on this path, is serving others. Yeah, absolutely, because you need a purpose. You have to have a purpose. And when I was at that low point, I was like, what am I going to be remembered as? Like, if I died tomorrow, it was, and this was a conversation I had in a press box, And it was a conversation out loud. And, you know, I said to one guy, I was like, what would you write on my tombstone? And it was a derogatory reference to hooking up with women. I was like, wow, that's what I'm going to be remembered as, right? Is that what I want to be remembered as?

And it's been 10 years since that statement was made. And now I don't think anybody really associates me with that kind of guy. And I've really turned my life into someone who has purpose, someone who is driven, someone who is dedicated to trying to help people as much as I can and trying to impact people in a positive way. And that's what it's all about because I don't want my legacy to be about who I was. I want my legacy to be about who I helped. Wow.

And I'll tell you, you have helped me. You are helping so many people right now. Thank you so much for sharing that story. I still cannot believe it. And I am telling you, I am so proud of you. So thank you for all that you've done. Thank you, Heather. People should see you because as I'm talking, you're staring.

You're looking at me like with this look like. I can't believe it. I had no idea. So where can everyone find you, Rob? All right. They can find me on all social media at Rob Mottie, R-O-B-M-A-A-D-I, except on Instagram. There was a couple fakes.

So it's at real Rob Mottie there. All right, you got to check him out and definitely follow his feet. Thank you. Wow. So I don't know if you were as taken aback by Rob's story as I was. Maybe it hit home more for me because I was so surprised that I didn't know that portion of his life. But it also gets me thinking, what else do we not know? I didn't know about the NFL experience. I didn't know about Radio Row or this media whirlwind that happens the

week before the NFL, which now I can prepare for next year and definitely be a part of in Tampa. What else out there do we not know? And just like with Rob, what do we not know about our own friends if we're not asking questions, being curious and making time for people? So please make time, make time for your friends, make time for your confidence in creating your confidence, and be open-minded to all that's out there that we don't know yet but are on our way to discovering. So if you're a fan of my show, you've got to check out the Feel Good podcast with Kimberly Snyder. Kimberly offers info, insight, and practical tools to help you develop a lifestyle that promotes health, wholeness, and healing.

Who doesn't need that? Tune in every week for great interviews with top experts in beauty, spirituality, and personal empowerment. With Kimberly's podcast, you'll be able to start living your most beautiful, inspired, and joyful life and start to feel really good. So be sure to subscribe to the Feel Good podcast on Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, and many other podcast apps so you can get new episodes every week. So always, please, if you could rate and review my show, just send me a screenshot. You can DM me, send it to Heather at Heathermonahan.com. Go to my website, Heathermonahan.com, and send it to me there.

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