Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #400: My Top Strategies To AMPLIFY Your Voice: Introducing Heather’s "Top Advisors" Interview With Scott MacGregor

Episode Date: February 13, 2024

To check out OneSkin click here!  https://shareasale.com/u.cfm?d=1054216&m=102446&u=3821794&afftrack= To get your 15% one time use discount use code: Confidence Remember if you opt in for the subscription you can cancel any time but you can only use the discount code once. In This Episode You Will Learn About:  The best ways to prime your brain for success My favorite tips to turn your nerves into excitement What you need to know when everything goes wrong The questions you need to ask your clients so you can deliver every time  Resources: Website: trysomethingnewnow.com LinkedIn: @ScottMacgregor Twitter: @stmacgregor Visit heathermonahan.com Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  Show Notes:  Are you afraid of public speaking? Most people are! But whether it is to 3 people at the dinner table or 500 people at a conference, the ability to get your message across is invaluable! Thankfully I have my exclusive interview with Scott MacGregor’s “Top Advisors” program to share with you today. He’ll ask all the big questions so we can get to the nitty gritty of crafting your voice, steeling your nerves, and delivering every time. Stop letting your message get caught up in the fear! Let’s amplify our voices together.  If You Liked This Episode You Might Also Like These Episodes: #360: The Simple Hack To Boost Your Confidence & Productivity With Heather! #351: Unlocking The Secret To Age Reversal with Carolina Oliveira Co-founder & CEO at OneSkin #353: DEFINE & Align Your True Values To Find FULFILLMENT In Your Successes With Kevin Miller, Former Pro-Athlete & Self-Help Author Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash Monahan, all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash Monahan. Now to grow your business, no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash Monahan. The more you start feeling confident when you show up, then you show up as a more real version of you, then that connects even more with the audience, then you step into your power the better you actually are.

So like all these reps and all these mistakes and taking messy action and showing up anyways and you know just doing it really allows you to begin believing in yourself more, which allows you to find your own voice more, which allows the audience to connect with you more. And those, in my opinion, are the real keys. Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow.

That's a no-sleeping girl. I'm ready for my close-up. So why are we here today? We're here because we created this thing called Top Advisors. We asked 25 of the top coaches and advisors in the world if they would come on and share some of their tidbits and tricks and knowledge of how they became phenomenal at

and then you fill in the blank. And for Heather, you know, it's a multitude of things, but you know, a lot of people know her as one of the world's best public speakers. And so, it's such a blessing to have somebody come on. We had Rudy and that's great. And we learned a lot from Rudy. I think that is more aspirational. And I think of these top advisor sessions as being like super tactical. And so we're gonna talk about all the things that Heather does to become who she is

in that world of public speaking. And the reason why I think this will be a really impactful session is not only is Heather an absolute rock star, but you don't have to be somebody who says, I want to take a stage in front of thousands of people. If you have to get up and do a presentation at your company, that's public speaking. All of the things that Heather has learned throughout her career, starting as a Chief Revenue Officer, and then becoming an entrepreneur

and getting on huge stages and figuring out that speaking could be a fairly lucrative gig. Those are all things that we wanna share with you today. So I don't think Heather needs much of an introduction. She's a two-time best-selling author. She's one of the top 50 public speakers in the world. She has an insane podcast. And she's just, to me, I always say this.

Heather is probably the most loyal friend I could possibly imagine. Heather, hello, how are you? Right back at you. Oh my gosh, I'm great. I'm so excited to be here today. And I'm randomly, I'm catching a flight right after this. So I'm so good to distract yourself right before a flight.

So I'm so excited to be here. Awesome. So Heather, speaking for you is something that you've done throughout your whole career. But for, I'd say say the majority of your life, you were doing it not to get paid, you were doing it just as a part of your job. But obviously you are really good

at being able to convey a message. I guess talk to us a little bit about how you honed that skill over the years and some of the things that you've done to become the speaker that you are today. First of all, and I don't know if you guys have ever seen this, but I have this video that I love. I'm obsessed with it.

It's a video clip of me in like maybe 2005 or 2006, cut next to a clip of me giving my TEDx in the end of 2019. And the reason why I have this and I'll post it again or I can share it here in this community, I sucked on the first clip. And I was reading from a teleprompter. I was on a huge national stage at the time. Again, I didn't get paid for this back then. I did it as part of my job. But I was speaking at the National Association of Broadcasters meeting. There were thousands of people there. And I was horrible. And I didn't get paid for this back then. I did it as part of my job, but I was speaking at the National Association of Broadcasters meeting. There were thousands of people there, and I was horrible. And I didn't think I was horrible at the time.

I remember thinking I was pretty good, but I sucked. And, you know, what's important, I guess, for me to remember, and for everyone else is, there's zero people at start out great. Like, you know, it doesn't matter who you are, David Ortiz, like he wasn't great the first day he showed up for literally, right? You show up, yeah, maybe you've got something special

about you, something different, but you have to hone that craft. You have to put the reps in. And for me, what I'm lucky and grateful for is for 25 years in corporate America. I led sales teams. Scott said I started out as a chief revenue officer. That is not true. Well, not, you know.

I know, I know, but I started out in sales, right? As a sales rep. So as an account executive in sales rep, you're doing pitches, which is essentially presenting every day, multiple times a day to various people, right? So those are all little stages. So I was taking thousands of little mini stages every week, every month, every year.

And then when I finally became a sales manager, then I was doing it in front of sales teams. And then I became a VP of sales and then I was doing it around the country and then EVP, blah, blah, blah. It just kept getting bigger and bigger, but I didn't start out on these grand stages. I started out one to one, one to three, one to five,

one to seven, one to 20. And the more you put those reps in, the more you see what lands with people, right? Like, so for example, I think I'm funny. And so sometimes people think I'm funny too. Like you figure out what lands for you, humor lands for me. Being real, talking about my feet stink

or like my kid was late for school this morning and let me tell you what happened. Right? Like figure out what works for you. Some people are just so empathetic and nice and they can lean on that. That's their power when they're talking like, come on, I need a hand here.

Where's my people? Right? I need some encouragement. People want to connect with you. They want you to be real and be who you are. So we'll start to see and I always keep a living breathing doc. It's a word doc that I take notes after any talk, right? Like, oh, this is what was landing with people today. This is what's relevant right now. This is what means and helps others. And that document is always changing, right? Like what landed in virtual COVID 2020 is irrelevant now. It doesn't work anymore, right? Things are gonna keep changing. So pay attention to your audience.

Pay attention to what's trending, what's happening in the world, what people are interested in, and then what's special and unique and different about you and your perspective and how it can lend value. And I think that just staying relevant, continuously evolving and really showing up on the regular, do it, putting the reps in, whether it be at your PTA,

whether it be here, you know, with Scott's crew and like, ask, hey, can I get the chance to, you know, get up and talk and give me a swing? Like I want to put some reps in and this is something I'm working on. Keep volunteering and putting yourself in those uncomfortable spaces. The more that you do that, the better you're going to get. And you're not going to nail it every single time.

And that's great too, because the more you show up and you face adversity and you face challenges you learn, OK, I didn't die. Like we got through it. On to the next one. On to the next one. And the more you start feeling confident when you show up, then you show up as a more real version of you, then that connects even more with the audience,

then you step into your power, the better you actually are. So like all these reps and all these mistakes and taking messy action and showing up anyways and just doing it really allows you to begin believing in yourself more, which allows you to find your own voice more, which allows the audience to connect with you more. And those, in my opinion, are the real keys. Meet a different guest each week.

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And so overcoming that, no doubt about it, putting in the reps is going to gain you a ton of confidence. But what are some of the other things, because I know a bunch of stuff that you do. Even at this stage where, you know, it feels like you could kind of roll out of bed and you could probably give a kick ass keynote, but there are some very specific tactical things that you do, even at this stage to kind of like calm those nerves and get you ready to perform. Oh my gosh, so I'm headlining

the largest technology co the first week of March i Scott's point, I'm going for that opportunity. It' opportunity in my life. there's so many things I' However, to Scott's point proven system that I know able to take be able to take that fear down.

I'm not going to get rid of it, but the first thing I'll start here, and I just heard myself say it, when you're really nervous is there's a fine line between fear and excitement, nerves and excitement. I just start saying to myself, I'm excited and re-channeling that energy from I'm nervous. I'm scared. So I'm excited because I'm looking forward to this opportunity. I'm excited. You trick your brain into believing you're excited. You start getting fired up, right?

So that's number one. That's a really important tactic. Number two, before I even got into any of this stuff and I had gotten fired, I did hypnosis. The hypnosis works. You have to believe it's going to work for you. But I will tell you, I had a phenomenal experience with hypnosis. I actually wrote about it in, I think, my first and second book. And it was a really powerful game changer for me. So if you truly are, you know, just like, I can't do this, I would suggest finding a bit

hypnotized. You can do it virtually or in person. Really positive impact for me and a lot of people I've sent to do the same. Another thing is tapping. Just Google EFT tapping. It's a great way to lower stress, lower anxiety before you're about to go do something. Randomly, a couple of years ago, I was giving a big keynote in Orlando.

I didn't think I was nervous. And my friend from KTLATV, Lou Parker, who I love, was doing a summit and she'd asked me to speak virtually. But the time was like, it was right before my in-person keynote. So I was kind of stressing out like, I got to get out of the hotel room and get downstairs. But I didn't want to let my friend down. So the woman she had speaking before me

was talking about EFT tapping. And I knew EFT tapping, I know how to do it. I've used it for years. It's a great tool for anxiety and stress. And so she said, I'd like everyone to go through the process right now while we're on this virtual. And I'm like, oh gosh, like anything, let me speak. I gotta go.

And so I did it just because I was trying to be like a team player. And so I'm going through the tapping and tapping and tapping, whatever. I went through the whole process. Of course, I felt less stress. I spoke for like, I don't know, 15 minutes or something. And then I ran downstairs to go get my keynote. And I got, and there were thousands of people down there. And I got down there and the MC met me backstage and he's like, oh, I heard you're pretty good. I'm like, I hope so, let's hope so, you know, making a joke. And he's like, well, just so you know, the person that opened up our event this year was incredible.

And he got a standing ovation. Do you think you're going to get one? And I'll tell you, it was interesting because typically, you know, you don't anticipate people that are going to intro you or whatever speaking to you, speaking negativity into you essentially, right? And because I believe I had just gone through that EFT tapping exercise, I was so solid, like I was so not lustered by him, which normally I can get triggered by people, right? Like anyone like that might have been a trigger for me.

I wasn't out and I smiled at him like, let's see, let's go for it. Let's see what happens. And like I went out and killed it and totally got a stay in innovation. The man was backstage and he apologized to me after and I'm like, it's okay. But I really think the game changer that day for me was that I had done that EFT tapping ahead of time and it was incredible. The impact of that on me. So I guess my point is definitely Google it, give it a shot.

It's so easy, it's so simple. Anyone can do it, you can do it anywhere. The other thing I do is I have a playlist that I only listen to, and this is neuroscience. I am not a neuroscientist. However, I host a podcast where I interview neuroscientists. So I get to pretend that I actually have all their knowledge because they're giving it to me.

So in neuroscience, one of the things that you can do is prime your brain. A lot of professional athletes do this, Olympic athletes. And now I do it and I hope you do it too. But not only do I visualize myself, you know, going through the process of like an outcome, whether it be a standing ovation or connecting with the audience or feeling great about what you just did. Yes, I do that ad nauseam. For my TEDx talk, I did it for two months beforehand. Every single night I visualized and it works.

It's really easy to do. I encourage you to do it with intention. Visualize yourself achieving your goals and do it on the regular frequency cells and convince your brain. But also what I developed was a playlist that I only listened to when I'm going into a keynote or something really big and really scary. And I only let myself listen to that playlist. The music that you're actually listening to is up to you.

Everyone always wants to know, what are my secret songs? I'm like a hip-hop thug life, 90s kid, right? So mine's all gonna be Jay-Z and Kanye and Snoop Dogg. And you don't have to listen to what I listen to. You know, some people listen to Beethoven. It's whatever works for you, but create that list and only leverage it and utilize it prior to going into these big opportunities.

Pretty soon what you do is you trick your brain into thinking the minute that your brain hears that music, your brain is like, oh yeah, we're about to go kill. Like, oh, I know what this means because this means we're about to go kill this thing. And so I can tell you this in Saudi Arabia, that playlist is going to be primed up and running right when I'm walking in. Like I always go into the green room and I shove my airpods in. And actually because of Scott, Scott nominated me to be a person that interviewed Sarah Blakely and Jesse

Itzler live on stage at a sales conference. And I had never met Sarah Blakely before. And I remember meeting her right before we were going to go on. And I went to hug her and she didn't really hug me back in a moment like that. And that's not on her, right? Like, but in a moment like that, you can get in your head and think like, oh my gosh, I'm not worthy. Oh my gosh, she didn't like me.

How am I going to go out on stage with her? Instead, I've trained myself to say, go to your green room, put those air buds in and listen to your playlist Heather, like refocus on, take control of the situation. It doesn't matter if she didn't hug you. You know what matters is what Jay-Z singing into you right now because your brain's gonna remember, oh yeah, we're about to go kill it. We're gonna go kill this thing.

And it gets you in that right mindset and it's called priming your brain. That partnered with visualization is so incredibly powerful. It's just like put the work in, like do these things to prepare yourself. I write down in a journal and then on a piece of paper writing actually again is another way a really powerful way to make things come to fruition

and remind yourself remind your body it's like a physical way to actually put thoughts into motion. I write down three times I thought I wasn't going to do well at something. My TEDx talk is a great one that's the most nervous I've ever been for any talk in my life and it went great but I wasn't going to do well at something. My TEDx talk is a great one. That's the most nervous I've ever been for any talk in my life. And it went great, but I didn't know it was going to. And so I write down that experience and then the outcome, yes, we did it, it was amazing. And I'm so proud of myself.

And I got through that. I can get through anything. Three different instances to remind myself, you've been here before, doubted yourself before, felt nervous before, felt nervous before, start sweating before, shoe came off before, you know, almost fell and face plants, it got your foot caught in a grate on, you know, like so many random things have happened to me, but I always made it through. And so I remind myself, like no matter what obstacle

is presented today, we're going to make it through it, and it's going to end up great. And I focus on that outcome. I write on the bottom of my shoes always. I can, I will. I wear power colors that really land with me. For me, that's blue and red. Like anytime you see me wearing blue or red, you know, I'm a little nervous because I lean on those power. I wasn't nervous today, by the way, I'm in black. So, but just so you know, if you see I'm in blue or red, it's for a reason. It's not by chance. It's strategic, right? Like I'm giving myself all the props and tools that I have available to me to set myself

up for success because it works. Carrying lavender with me always works. That's really calming that scent. For some people, scent is really, really powerful. So I highly suggest like have a little bag of all the key things that you need with you. Maybe that's a snack, maybe it's having water. I always bring water to everything because yes,

I've actually been at big events where they were out of water bottles. And I'm like, oh heck no, like I set myself up for my own success with my own controllables. I bring multiple outfits to everything. I've had people dump drinks by accident on me, a stain happens. Like I don't want to bring any negativity or fear

into anything I want to say, oh, dump that out. I got three more right behind it. Like let's pick the next one. Like set yourself up for success, whatever those potential challenges could be so that you don't have to worry about that. You can just be present in that moment. Your business was humming, but now you're falling behind.

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Right now download Netsuite's popular KPI check list designed to give you consistently excellent performance absolutely free at Netsuite.com Monahan that's Netsuite.com Monahan to get your own KPI checklist Netsuite.com slash monahan to get your own KPI checklist net suite.com slash monahan Heather I have to tell this story because it just popped into my head so We're at I don't know one of my book launch parties. This might have been right before your TED Talk. I'm not sure. So we're at this book launch party

and I asked Heather to speak. So there, you know, it's not a huge crowd, but there's like, I don't know, maybe a couple hundred people there. And I probably didn't give you, you know, I was probably like Heather, like get up there. So Heather gets up there and all of a sudden there's this gigantic crash. So a woman who is standing next to all of these wine glasses that were set up, I think she fainted.

Into the table it was like Mayhem. Heather, being Heather, literally doesn't even skip a beat. Like she just keeps going. Like it didn't even phase her. And we were all like, after we figured out that the lady didn't die, we were like, holy shit, that was unbelievable. Cause Heather just kept going because you were prepared. You were ready.

So I thought that was such a cool moment where it was like, oh man, that's what a pro does. That was crazy. I forgot about that. But yeah, no, Scott's right. This woman, she took out the whole table and all these glasses. It just, yeah, it was wild. But that is back to what I think Scott's really referring to, which is setting yourself up for success, regardless of what happens around you. Everything can and will go wrong. I remember at my TEDx, the guy that was speaking right after me was crying in the back. He was going to throw up. Like everything was chaos back there. And you just have to learn to like, I can't control anything that's happening around me. I can control what's coming out of this mouth, my energy, how I feel. And as

long as you stay connected that the more you do that, the more you let these other things just kind of roll off your back and just stay focused on that intention that you have, your audience, and that outcome. Is there a difference in your mind between how you prepare for like a corporate presentation versus a keynote? Yeah, for me, it all goes back to like the most important thing is that qualifying call that you do with the client or audience or whoever ahead of time. I always ask the same kind of questions.

What is it that you want your audience walking away from this saying? How do you want them feeling? What is important to you? What's most important to you? What's worked in the past and you're happy about and what hasn't worked in the past and why? The more information I can get them to, you know,

tell me more so that I can understand the pain points the audience and what they're struggling with. What's landed with them before? What hasn't landed with them before? What the orchestrator or event coordinator wants the outcome to be? It's very different. And the better questions that you ask of people,

the more you can understand what they're looking for. Let me give you an example. Sometimes you'll speak for a corporation, and they're saying, I want three tactical pieces of information that this audience can walk away from, apply to their day to day that's going to drive more revenue for Q2 2024. That's very specific, right? So you know that throughout your talk, you're going to open it with this, listen, my goal

today is that you're going to walk like I'm going to keep parroting that back, parroting that back, because I want them leaving saying to that event coordinator, I got three great tackle pieces of it. I know I'm very clear on what the direction is versus sometimes I'll speak at a women's conference and they'll say, I'm ever walking away feeling really motivated, inspired, and empowered. I'm not going to be hitting them over the head with tactical advice. I'm going to take them through challenges, adversity, and opportunities for them to see their life as not hitting a dead end, but instead possibility. And I know how to do that because I've seen the movie before.

I've done it before. So it goes back to that living, breathing document that I have. I relate back to like, this is similar to this audience and this outcome. And I know that movie, I've seen it. Okay, I want to recreate something around that. But I'm a big fan of believing that you should always tailor a conversation, a presentation, a talk for that specific audience and what's meaningful to them. The more you can do that, and I'm not saying you can always recreate everything

from A to Z, but the more you can make it tailored to them and the pain points they're struggling with, the more they're gonna say, hey, this person really sees me, gets me and cares about me. And I think that's when you can really make a difference. Is it helpful to find people that you admire that do it really well and study them to model and mirror

what they do? Or is that not a good idea because you have to be your authentic self? And let's just say you and I are both friends with Jesse Itzler. You know, Jesse's a phenomenal speaker, you're a phenomenal speaker, but your styles are super different. Do you have people that you look at and you're like pick up little things from them or do you just try to be

like 100% authentically Heather? No, for sure, especially when I started doing this five and a half years ago, it was different in my opinion, like being a corporate sales leader versus being a keynote speaker. So I wanted to understand what does success look like? So I went and started studying the most viewed TED Talks, because I'm like, that's indicative of success, right? And the lens I was looking at it through. So first figure out what does success look like in your world?

Like I have no idea. For me, that was Brene Brown. That was Mel Robbins. Maybe that's Tony Robbins. Maybe it's Jesse. It's like looking at these different people. And one of the things that was helpful for me was seeing, and John Maxwell is a great example of this,

is that not every speaker does it the same way to Scott's point, right? Like Jesse has a different style than I do, and everyone has their own style. What's cool is though, when you go and study and spend some time looking at these different people's works, you can say, oh, I like that. I could incorporate that into something like that's my vibe.

Okay, I could take this piece from John Maxwell. Am I gonna sit in a chair the whole time like he does? No, do I want to? No, that's not my vibe. But he nails it, it's so him. And it also reminds me, anyone can succeed in this. Like you don't have to be jumping. People will see me all the time.

I don't have your level of energy. My voice doesn't project as much. Go look at some speakers out there because not everyone does it the way that I do, right? But then I look at like a Jesse Itzler and I saw last year he had a DJ out on stage with him and I'm like, okay, that's new and innovative. That's different. That's something for me that I could step into a new challenge. I need to test and push myself. I need to figure out number one, how do I get my own DJ number one? And let me know if you've got one for me. But number two, then how do I incorporate that

into a talk, right? But then there's some people I have some friends who are really heavy on slides, right? And they love doing slides and the audience likes it. That's not me. I did that big time in corporate America and I never loved it. And people be like, well, I'm challenging

to incorporate it now. And I'm like, you know what I did for 25 years? I can do it. It isn't where I'm at my best. Like I know that's more of like a crutch to me. That's for me. Does not mean for you. Maybe for you starting out, you're

like, I need that crutch. Then rock the crutch, right? Like do whatever you need to get to that next level. But you can constantly evolve. The key is the more confident you are, the more you're gonna be yourself. I don't ever really wanna be anybody else. Beyonce channels her inner Sasha fears

when she's nervous and she takes a stage, which by the way, if Beyonce is nervous, it's fine for all of us to be nervous, okay? This lady like trains for months and she's one of the biggest, you know, all-time female artists in the world. She still gets nervous because she cares. So take that pressure off yourself and just realize the more you're confident in who you are, the more you just really need to project that interview,

the more authentic you're going to be. But yeah, for sure, I started out watching and studying everybody else I thought was successful. Americans spend an average of 90% of their time indoors and take about 20,000 breaths a day. According to the EPA, indoor air is two to five times more polluted than outdoor air. And in some cases, up to 100 times more polluted. Data shows that air pollution is responsible for nearly 7 million premature deaths globally.

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So we just got, I'm assuming, pages of like super tactical stuff that you can do and maybe some of it will work for you. Maybe you know, you have to find some stuff that's a little bit different. So guys, you can get a lot more of this in both of Heather's books. I would say also make sure you are subscribing

to her podcast. She's easily, I've said this so many times, Heather's probably the best podcaster out there because she actually listens and her follow-up questions are phenomenal. She's such a master at that craft. So if you want to get more of what you got today, those are just two ways you can do it. Obviously watch her Ted Talk and support her on social media. But Heather, this was incredible. It was exactly what we wanted, which

was all the practical stuff that you've amassed over your career that's made you one of the best out there. And to share that with an audience that can literally take this stuff and we can start doing this stuff tomorrow. We can start doing this stuff today. That's exactly what we're hoping for. So you delivered big time as always. Well, thank you. But guys, set bigger goals. It's a new year. Swing for the MF and fences. Swing for Saudi Arabia. Sw swing for the million person audience. But like Scott said, start taking action today. People here today will take action and move forward and some people won't be the first. Be the one that swings, goes forward

and starts taking messy action. I believe in you. I'm grateful to be here today and thank you so much as always. God, I appreciate you. Thank you, Heather. I'm gonna make a move over here. I decided to change that dynamic.

I feel like I could have been more excited I'm on this journey with me.