Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #404: BEST OF - Top Tips On Navigating CHANGE From Holding On To Moving Forward

Episode Date: February 27, 2024

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Embracing uncertainty and unexpected opportunities What happens when you let go of what is holding you back Setting yourself up for massive growth Resources: Visit heathermonahan.com Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Use promo code CONFIDENCE for 15% off sitewide at https://justthrivehealth.com/discount/Confidence  Show Notes:  One of the top things people fear is CHANGE! But change can be a blessing in disguise. Today, we're diving into a special compilation of insights and stories that celebrate resilience, growth, and the importance of navigating change in both our personal and professional lives. We need to stop choosing the safe path. Let’s embrace change for what it really is: a signal for new opportunities. It may be scary but we can face it head on, together! -00:50 Heather Monahan- #391: Plant the Seed: Harnessing the Power of New Opportunities -10:25 Lori Harder- #378: Pivot Mastery Unleashed  -22:32 Heather Monahan- #370: Your Roadmap To Navigating Change If You Liked This Episode You Might Also Like These Episodes: #387: Become The BEST Version of Yourself in 2024! With Heather! #372: Top Secrets for Unshakeable Confidence with Heather! #389: STOP Settling & START Pursuing Your Potential In 2024 With Heather! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash monohand, all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash monohand now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash monohand. Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. I decided to share some highlights with you today to do something a little different

from some of my top episodes that talk about a very familiar subject for me. Navigating change. You know I've been through it and have to deal with a lot of unexpected twists and challenges and turns that come up along the way. This stuff happens. So we need the tools to help empower ourselves to move through it with as much grace as possible. Enjoy these top episodes, top tips and takeaways on how you can best navigate change in your life. I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for better tomorrow. That's a no-seal, girls. I'm ready for my close-up. You know what's so funny is I

always talk a lot about, you know, the day that you plant the seed is not the day you reap the harvest. I remember when I started working for myself five and a half years ago, I thought it would take six months and I would blow up and have millions of books sold because I just assumed it would work. And I was wrong, right? So sometimes you get frustrated that you're not seeing the progress that you want or the success you want overnight. And so I talk a lot about, you know, anticipate that, anticipate that today is the day I'm planting the seed, probably not going to reap the harvest tomorrow, but I'm going to keep

on plowing, I'm going to keep on going. And that is great advice that I need to take for myself all the time. However, don't ever discount how miracles can happen in an instant. Literally in an instant, as shocking as it may be, because I was shocked and this is crazy, I typically do not like talking about my personal life because I'm weird like that. I don't know why. Actually, that's not true, because here on the show, I do talk a lot about my personal life more than I do anywhere else, because you my people, you my team, you my ride or die, and I'm happy to share the things that I learned and the challenges I have. I definitely have more

challenges and always had personally than professionally. For whatever reason, I'm sure there are some very good reasons actually, but for many reasons, in business I feel very confident. I don't have everything figured out or nailed down. I still don't this year right now, but I have total confidence and conviction. I will get it figured out. There's zero doubt in my mind, different when it comes to my personal life.

And I think part of that is because I've had way more success in business than I had in personal relationships, right? When I look back and it was funny, I had mentioned this to you, my dad was in town over the holidays and he was talking about all my past boyfriends. And I've always been in really serious relationships.

And my dad was talking about how great they all were. But I was looking back and I'm like, yeah, but I remember why I broke up with him. And I remember why I broke up with him. Like it just wasn't, it wasn't the guy. It wasn't the right, you know, it was good for a window of time, but it wasn't the right person for the long term.

So for whatever reason, for me, I haven't found that right person yet. And again, listen, most of it is because of me, right? And issues that I had with trust, issues I had with past relationships and getting hurt, you know, fear of it not working out, this doubt, this underlying doubt that it wouldn't work out for me because it hadn't for a long time, right? So I've had to address so much personal work around this topic. It's insane, but we hear, we do in it.

And I'm telling you this year is it. This is so crazy. So, okay. All right. So I'm going to tell you this story first because I've got an ask for you at the end to apply back to your life that I think is super, super powerful. And it's not just for personal lives. It's for personal, um, transformational business, anything and everything in your life. And it's a message I continually need to be reminded of, which is so annoying. It's like I'm 49 and I keep forgetting this. Hello.

We preach about and teach about what we need to listen to and be reminded about, right? And so I need to remind myself all the time about this. But I had forgotten it had eluded me. So I hope it helps you today. All right, so I'm going to break it down for you. So number one, yes, the day that you plant the seed is not always the day that you're going to reap the harvest, sadly, right? That's typically not the way it is. However, also stay open-minded in this new year that miracles can happen in an instant and your life can change in one moment. Literally like a light switch being flipped on.

That's what happened to me. Okay, all right. So I want to share with you what happened. I think I told you about this last year that I fell in love with somebody. It did not work out, okay, sadly, which was devastating to me because I definitely thought it was going to.

I ended things, then we got back together. I ended it again because it was the same issue again. I didn't feel like I was a things, then we got back together. I ended it again because it was the same issue again. I didn't feel like I was a priority, so I wasn't happy. It just wasn't going to work. Or it was the wrong timing or whatever it was. The guy's an amazing person, and I was in love with him. Hands down, no, that was crystal clear. Okay. With all that being said, I held a place in my heart for him for sure. And now thinking about it, it was ridiculous, right? I was totally holding space for this person.

Have you ever done that? Like you close the door, you end the relationship, but you then sit and hold space for that person? Meet a different guest each week. Wait a minute, I'm gonna change. Confidential. When I started podcasting, an online store was the furthest thing from my mind. Now I'm selling my group coaching on the regular and it is just so easy all because I use Shopify.

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Shopify.com. Monahan. No matter what stage you're at, they're going to make it easy. Okay, so let me guess, like me, you get stressed out during the work week, maybe some nights it's even really difficult to fall asleep because you have so much to do, so much pressure on you, being a parent, working, dealing with difficult clients, traffic, just all of the regular headaches that everybody's dealing with. I got you on this one I decided to try a different approach because I was sick of feeling Anxious and stressing out about falling asleep at night. Well, that's where CBD from CB distillery came in and wow It has been a real change CB distilleries targeted formulations are made from the highest quality clean ingredients

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Visit CBdistillery.com and use code confidence for 20% off. That's CB distillery.com code confidence. CB distillery.com. Well, I didn't think there was anything bad about it until one day in December, and this was a great seed one of my friends planted for me, my friend said to me, why don't you just delete him from your phone? And I said, why would you say that? Like that's, I don't think that's very nice.

That sounds mean, and he's an amazing person, and I care so much about him, and I'm in love with them, and why would I do that? Just because we can't be together, doesn't mean I wish him ill will, or like if he ever needed me or and she's like stop you guys haven't spoken in months delete him from your phone free up some space close that chapter so you can let someone new in now in my defense I've been dating somebody else right and I am definitely

it's not serious but super fun and great guy however't live here, and I'm out all the time meeting new people, super open to meeting new people. So I think no problem. Like I'm doing all the right things. My friend pointed out she still felt like I was holding space for this guy. She wanted me to delete him from my phone. I just thought that sounded really mean, so I didn't do it. Cut to, it's New Year's Eve.

I'm out with one of my best girlfriends here in Miami. She's amazing and some other people were having the best time. I mean literally on a rooftop in South Beach, the place is going crazy. We were having the best time. It was such a fun New Year's. All is going well. Best night. And I don't know. I didn't look at my phone all night. All of a sudden I picked up my phone. It was like 1.30 in the morning. And I see that a guy that I've been dating

who's so sweet and so nice but doesn't live here had text me and said you were the best part of my 2023. Now, I wasn't expecting that text. It was so sweet, so thoughtful, so unexpected, adorable, obviously, immediately he's on my mind, on my heart, right? I'm thinking, oh my gosh, what a sweetheart that at midnight, that's what he's thinking about is me, even though we're in different states. What a doll. Okay, in that instant, it was like everything changed and it just hit me. I thought, oh my gosh, I have to delete that other guy out of my phone. Like this is a kind of energy and vibe I want in my life. Not someone who doesn't even message me or isn't even thinking about me or

that's yep. Bye. Bye, Felicia. I deleted that ex's contact info out of my phone immediately and I will tell you I felt so happy about it and excited and I share this with you. I usually don't get into this stuff because it is really personal, but I want you to know things can change for you in one instant. They changed for me. I here I was just a couple of weeks prior fighting with my friends saying you're wrong. You don't delete him. He's the most amazing guy and I love him. And you know, you never know what could happen in the future to receiving this super sweet text from somebody else and realizing that's the energy I want in my life. That's the kind of person I want in my life thinking about me, sending me sweet

notes. F this, like, oh my gosh, clear that space. And immediately deleted his contact. And so things can change in an instant. I don't know how they're going to change for you. I don't know when they will, but stay open to the possibility. And I'm so excited. I'm not sad.

I don't feel like I'm mean, right? He doesn't even know I did it. So like it was more just something good to do for me. Now, this is crazy how this comes together. Get ready for it. And this is where I want you to apply it back to your life. Okay, so that was my situation. Clearly, it was something I should have done months ago,

but I didn't for whatever reason I wasn't ready to. I was holding out that, you know, somehow he was going to come back around and say that he had fixed things in his life and blah, blah, blah, right? Like, definitely that's a weakness of mine is that I always think of the potential of people instead of dealing with the reality. Now, okay, because of that great message that I got New Year's Eve, so grateful, so thankful for that. He's such a great guy.

Okay, it just reminded me what I deserve, what I want and the kind of energy I'm going for in my life. And then I needed to clear the space so I could have more of the energy and positivity and people that I want in my life, and less of the stuff I don't want, right? Bath, alicia, close the door, moving on. When you do that, when you create space,

you create the opportunity for greatness, positivity, and that next level opportunity to come in. Okay, so such an interesting reminder. And it's like you make an announcement to the universe. This is what I want in my life. This is what I'm expecting. I'm telling you, my new year has been so good and I think it's because of this. I feel like a big part of it is because of this, right?

This energy that I'm putting out there that I'm claiming now and what I'm saying, what I'm not tolerating anymore. And it might seem small to you, but it's been really big for me. So it wasn't until I met my husband and we got married, I got married really young. I was 24 years old, but it wasn't until I had a little bit more sturdy of, you know, a daily life and a routine that I was able to start looking at nutrition more. At that point, these different visions and dreams of what I wanted to do were starting to get a little more clear. I had seen women doing fitness competitions

on TV and I was like, okay, I'm seeing that these women who are on covers of magazines are also doing these fitness competitions. Maybe this is something that I should do. That's when I thought, okay, I'm seeing that these women who are on covers of magazines are also doing these fitness competitions. So maybe this is something that I should do. And that's when I thought, okay, I'm gonna try to learn how to do this. And I had started dabbling myself with like kind of following what they were saying in the magazines,

but there wasn't a whole world, this wasn't really online. Nobody was like saying how to do it. And one day I was watching MTV of all things. And there was like a real life show on there where it was real life I want to be a fitness competitor And there was a woman named Kathy Savage on there who was helping this woman become a fitness competitor So I started researching her the next month She came out in this oxygen magazine that I read all the time

Which is a fitness magazine and she was putting on a fitness camp, like to teach women how to do fitness competitions. I had never flown alone. I hadn't really ever even traveled much at this point. I jumped off the stair master that I was on, ran over to my husband and I was like, I'm gonna go to Boston. You guys, I'm from the Midwest. I really didn't travel.

I didn't even know what East Coast people were like. I was like, I'm going here. I'm gonna do this thing. I'm gonna just figure it out. So that's what I did. I go to this fitness camp. I'm like a total introvert at this point. Like I was the most shy human being ever. I had social anxiety. I would have panic attacks. I had plenty of them while I was there. And so I land in Boston that I just remember it was like the biggest culture shock of my entire life. Like I thought everyone

was yelling at me even though they were just talking, like how they normally talk. And so I go to the fitness camp and I'm just like a wallflower in the back. And I remember it being so overwhelming that I was like, I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do this. Like this isn't my personality. These girls are so loud

and they're like really good at getting attention and they're just like outgoing and out there. And it was the last day of that fitness camp. And I'll never forget, but she had us walking, like doing these like model picture, like being an introvert and like being so scared and having her asked for you to do a model walk in front of everybody, like a stage walk. And so I was like, you better just suck it up and give it all you got. Because you're either going to look stupid, scared and stupid, or you can actually look like you're trying.

And so I did it. I really tried. And she said one thing to me. One thing. She was like, oh, you're made for this. That was it. And I had never had somebody breathe life into me with words like that. And I had no idea what that was capable of doing for someone.

And that was the first moment of, wow, like when you were around the right people and when people who were doing it say something to you or something positive, you can actually change the trajectory of someone's life. And that's what she did. I took those words and ran with them and really started to throw myself into fitness competitions, which by the way, did not go well for a while.

It took me four years to end up winning a fitness competition and it took me like six years to get on a cover, which I have a cover for it. I'll stop, but I have a cover story for you as well with that. Thank you for sharing the timeline, how long it took, because that's amazing. And thank you for also sharing how you felt like you were so out of your element, but you invested in yourself, you took the risk, you showed up, you risked looking like an idiot, right? Like you risked it all and move forward. Anyway, the funny thing is I am from Boston.

I am friends with Kathy and I was with Kathy a couple of years ago. She was saying the kindest things about you and about your husband. She's such champions for both of you. And it just to me, it just reminds me good people and doing good and taking care of people in life always comes full circle because that's how you end up getting connected to other good people. So it's just, it's so amazing. You know, she's so proud of your journey. She's so proud of you.

And it just like she's your biggest champion in the world, still on the East Coast. Oh, I mean, I can't imagine. I don't know where I'd be if that's the importance of people and putting yourself out there. And when you're drawn to someone, like, just go. Just go. You never know what's going to happen.

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Quints.com slash confidence, start saving some money for products you love. All right. Give us the cover story. You love. All right. Give us the cover story. Okay. So this is year five, I believe. And at this point, I had done so much pitching to this particular magazine called Oxygen Magazine. This was the big dream. It was to get on the cover of this magazine. It was like back in the day, you guys, if you were in the fitness world, it's the cover of magazine you wanted to be on. From when I started doing fitness competitions, that's also when you would start doing like your photo shoots and you'd be pitching and you'd write in, hey, I wanna be in, this is who I am.

I do this, I work out like this, I eat like this, I wanna be on the cover. This was old school pitching, right? You just kind of just like, look at me, I'm doing another photo shoot, look at me, am I good enough for the cover? So, you know, I'd send in once a month, like literally once a month, I'd write to these people, is it possible for me to be on the cover and get a layout or whatever this looks like?

I'd love to do a workout for you. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, every single month. They were very nice, but every single month it was a no. And so, you try to get these different contacts and you go to these different places where the editors are and you try to get to know people and that was really, really helpful of like actually establishing relationships. Then I got the like, I'm not sure where this whole idea came from. I think it was just like podcasting and starting to hang around with people who are really

doing the do. And I had the realization that pitching is one thing, but creating relationships is a whole other thing and adding value. And so this is when my pitches really started to change. And I started to look at this magazine as a business because that's what it was, where a lot of people were not thinking of it that way. It was just like, put me out there.

Don't you want me to be on the cover? Like, no, they know. They wanna know how you can help them. Like, what is your audience? Like, what value can you add? So this was a huge epiphany realization for me of how can I add value to them? And I started really even just setting up my life like that, like thinking, how can I be valuable enough for these people for them to even want to put me on the cover for

them to want me in a layout. So I wrote a cookbook, I did some like YouTube channels where I was doing recipes. I had started a big community, a fitness community, and I worked really, really hard on just building up value within my community and building value with women and building value in relationships. And so my pitches had started to change. And when that started to change, they were like, okay, we'd love to have you come up. You can do like some recipes, you can cook, you can also put this on your YouTube. I know that you said that you were gonna go speak on stage.

We would love if you would share the cover like you said you would, like all of these different things. Okay, or not the cover, whatever you're doing. So I go up in there, I'm gonna go shoot a test cover. Now, you don't get flown up to these things. You pay for everything yourself. Like, you get ready, you dial it in. I've prepped for the 12 weeks. Like, I am like hungry and tired and broke because at this point in our life, we also had just lost our house. We lost our cars in

the recession. Like everything was downhill for us. So this was a really big deal that I was taking money we didn't have and I was investing it in something very scary that may not happen. Like my husband was not super excited about it because he was like, this is a little hobby. Now he doesn't say that anymore, but this was like the whole narrative going on. So I fly up there to do a test cover and a layout and we do a whole cover shoot all day long everything the outfits the hair the makeup They're like this is amazing like very much This is going to be used as a cover and so I go home and I'm like oh my god My dream has come true like they get the cover story. We do the whole thing. It's coming out the next month

And so this is now year five in the making of rejection So when I finally get it, I'm like, oh my God, this is it. And so a month before the cover comes out, I get an email that the cover is not coming out. And so there were rumors that this happened a lot. And once that you didn't come out, you never went up again. Like it was like the kiss of death. And so I just had this moment of my dream is over.

Like I can't believe I just did that, nothing's coming out. Why isn't it coming out? They don't give you a reason. So you're just stuck there thinking that you're ugly or something or that you suck. And so I was like, oh my god. So instead of letting my brain go there, which I did for a day header, like everybody, like truly, I was like, oh my goodness, this is the worst thing that could ever happen. I decided that I was just going to be so valuable that I was going to become undeniable, not only to them, but everybody else and to myself. And so this went on a year trajectory of creating a life where it was like, no one's going to ignore me because I'm not going to ignore myself.

I'm going to decide that I'm valuable with or without this cover. And so that's always a choice we can be making. I could have either said, I suck, I knew it, look how long I waited and I'm still not the girl, they won't even tell me why. And it was a decision to go, no, I am deciding that I'm good enough and I'm enough and I'm going to show them. And so I kept pitching. I just kept right on pitching the whole next year, one year later, I went up again, finally. And next year they said yes, we can try this again. And then that went on to 11 covers. Oh my, that is incredible.

I love that story because it's just so much rejection over and over again and not quitting and choosing to add value. And sadly, and I'm saying this because I don't want people to think of you this way, but sadly, many people do whether any type of beauty fitness people will marginalize a woman and say, you know, she's just pretty. You are so smart, so business savvy. You've built such a massive community, businesses.

I mean, you have so much success. Was it hard for you once you achieved this great success over in this arena to get people to take you seriously in a business context? I think at the beginning it was, but I also, I never really had a problem with like pivoting for some reason. And I think it's because I don't look at it as pivoting. I just look at it as there's so many things in life that are layered. Like even fitness, you can't do fitness without mindset. So I would always talk about the mindset portion of fitness. So during my fitness years, I never was just talking about the workout ever. That was

so boring to me. Anybody can, you could literally download any workout from the internet and get really fit from it. If you have the mindset and you have the nutrition, it wasn't like rocket science. There's no thing that's going to make you a certain way unless you have the nutrition. It wasn't like rocket science. There's no thing that's gonna make you a certain way unless you have all the puzzle pieces. So for me, I had always been talking about mindset because it was always my biggest struggle. Still to this day, I wake up and it's me against me. Like there is still a girl in there who wants to be lazy,

who still finds it very easy to say really negative things to herself. Like, so I, every single day started almost doing it for me on Facebook, like writing mindset posts. And that is where it didn't seem weird for me to start transitioning into personal development is because I was already really talking about it. And so it took me about a year to really notice from like my events and even email lists and like social following when I really decided to go from fitness into personal development. I did notice it took about a year to like really get more into the arena of personal

development pivoting into it. But I had been talking about it so much that when people think about pivoting, you should really just start talking about the thing that you want to do next or adding it in or showing that, hey, it's not, I'm not just this, I also love this. And so it doesn't feel like a crazy pivot or it doesn't feel like people are only going to think of you as the other thing that you were, you're really showing that you're more well rounded. Well rounded. I lived in the same place in South Beach for 18 years and there's pros and cons to that, right? Yes, you get into a serious routine because you're living in the same home for 18 years. A lot of stability, right?

Like you know what to expect. However, I guess I hadn't really purged my home of everything and anything possible before, until it was came to the month before I was moving. I knew I was leaving, right? I was like, I need to get rid of and unload anything and everything I can. That was an incredible experience. I totally challenge you to do it if you haven't done that. I hadn't done that for 18 years, right? There was so much stuff still sitting around from when my child was little that I was able to get rid of, give away. And it was super freeing. Just made me feel lighter. Everything, there was more space, just getting rid of things in your life that are not necessary. If they're not bringing you joy, get rid

of them. It was just such a good reminder of that. And that goes for people. That goes for things, tasks, you know, just how you're occupying or spending your time. When, you know, an end of a year is a great time to do this is to reevaluate like what are the things that are bringing your vibe high and allowing you to feel good for me that is spending time with my son, spending time with my friends, running, like doing these different things in my life that I love to do, right? But there are things I don't love to do like preparing for my friends, running, like doing these different things in my life that I love to do, right? But there are things I don't love to do, like preparing for my taxes, need to bring in more

support in accounting, right? Like there's things you can throw money at so that you don't have to do, so your vibe doesn't have to be brought down. And in turn, things you can walk away from that just aren't serving you. And so I'm constantly evaluating, and I encourage you to do the same. It's super helpful. And the more you can get, you know,

my book, Overcome Your Villains, you know, get rid of the villains in your life, get rid of the negative things, even if that's a talk track that you're playing for yourself, rewrite it today and start being your biggest cheerleader and your biggest advocate. Okay, so to that end, moving for me, I guess it was not a year and a half ago quite,

but getting close, I moved and it was freeing because I felt like, okay, this is a new adventure. I'm in a new location I know nothing about and I never imagined I would live in this part of the city and I love it and I'm meeting new people and there's new routines and there's new places to find and new people to find. And I had gotten rid of so much that it was super light and easy and just worked out amazing. But the funny thing is, and this is something I want you to remember,

and that's all about uncertainty, right? Approaching uncertainty with the right attitude. I am approached with the attitude of, this is an adventure. I don't know what's about to happen next, but I'm super excited to see. And it worked out incredible, literally incredible. However, leading into moving into my new home now, it was not a beautiful situation. We had been back and forth with the buyer. And I'm reminding you of this just because it's super important. Everything is not seamless and easy. It's not. We were moving through

a window with the buyer that was trying to buy my home. He kept backing out. He kept wanting more conditions. He was insane, super stressful. And this had gone on for a couple of months and we'd actually walked away from two deals because it was just tumultuous, same way. And so we were back in it again. This one ended up getting executed and closing. But I didn't know and I was super discouraged, right? I was like, I can't believe this is happening. Why does this keep happening?

And the more you get pulled down in the negativity, the more the situation gets negative. It just does. So it's all about how can you rise above it, let go, let God and just trust that everything's going to work out for the best in the end. And for me, that definitely is working out and running and trying to just free my mind that, you know what, I can't control this.

This is out of my control. I can just let go and know that this is all happening for a reason. I'm grateful for what I have and hopeful for what's to come next. Yeah, it's a daily practice, my people, because it is not easy when you're in it. Anyhow, after a few months of that, we ended up closing, which is super exciting. And I had 30 days to figure out where I was going to live. We ended up having to go back to the guy that had bought my home and renegotiate me renting from him in my old home for a month,

because we couldn't find a place fast enough. That was super stressful. He said, yes, charge me some ridiculous amount of money. Fine, we did it. Now, my realtor and I, who had been looking for a place for me to live for months, because, again, remember, for months, it was this tumultuous situation of my place was falling apart, my place is coming together,

but it was just very stressful. Anyhow, we had been looking. I had found a place that I loved, a condo that I loved, that I wanted to move into. It was too big for my son and I, but I didn't care. I just loved it. And it was rented and acquired like a week before I had my deal closed. So I could not go out and get my new place until I had sold my home because I didn't want to own two homes or be committed to two homes at the same time I had to wait. Well, as soon as my home sold, I found out that the one that I wanted was off the market. Now, at this point in time, in Miami, it's over a year ago, it was springtime. Last year, oh my gosh, the market was so hot. You could not find anything good for rent. You just couldn't.

If it was on the market, it was probably because something was wrong with it, right? So even those places were going quickly. You had to like, we'll pay for the year in advance. We'll pay six months in advance. Here's a check, a cashier's check for the whole year. It was crazy what you were having to do to secure somewhere to live.

Meet a different guest each week. What is on the table? Confidence clear. I asked you to try to find your passion. She said. Cut to the place I wanted to live was off the market. I was so discouraged I was sitting outside of that place, which is so funny to me now. I was sitting outside of that building, feeling sad, so upset, this is my place I'm supposed

to live. Who are these meanie people that got my place? And what's funny is at the time I had no idea, but I was about to find something so, so much better. And so this is my reminder to you. Sometimes we have to let go of what was so that we can step into what can be and know this, what can be is going to be so much better than you ever had imagined. Well, of course, I did not know every property in all of Miami. How could I write? I had lived in one area, South Beach, my entire time spent in Miami, and I didn't

know the rest of Miami very well. So I was being led by someone who had expertise, my realtor, and we were out looking for a place for me to live and I was discouraged because the place I thought I wanted was gone. And we were in a panic mode because we had to find somewhere really quickly to move to. So one day we had, you know, back-to-back showings of different locations, different buildings in a couple of different areas for me to see. And I was not feeling very optimistic. And I remember we were at one building and all day I hadn't seen anything I liked. And I was saying in my mind, you know what, Heather, you just got to get over it, pull the trigger, make a decision, you have a child, he's starting

school, like this is ridiculous, you just need to pick a location even if it's not the best and move in. That's where my mind was. I was settling because I was feeling pressure that there just wasn't anything good. So, and again, first world problems, they're all good. It just wasn't, you know, my dream location or dream condo, which I live in now. Okay, so I'm at this building building which had a beautiful view. I love the view. However, I did not love the building. And so I just said, you know what? I'm going to suck it up and I'll just do a deal if the guy will negotiate with me on price. And I had seen that this one property had been on the market for a while. So when you know that there's going to be a little bit of leverage, right? Like there's something that you can do. So I start negotiating with the

gentleman while we're there on site on the property. And I said, listen, I'm super serious. I need to move in somewhere fast. Let's talk numbers. You know, what are you willing to do? I'm not playing a game here and I'm happy to pay for a year in advance. I want to pull the trigger and get this done. So I just put all my cards on the table very direct and the man was so offended. He was so taken aback by that. He said, I'm not negotiating price and the price was ridiculous. It was so expensive. I'm actually interested if they ever run to that place. They probably did not.

So I said, excuse me? He said, oh yeah, there's no negotiation. I looked at my realtor, I said, then we're leaving. So we walked out and that was that. So we walked out of that building and I looked at my realtor and I'm like, you know what, this day has not gone well. Not only have I not seen things I love, which is a bummer, but I just made an offer on a place that I didn't even love just trying to be, you know, I guess just disciplined or lower my standards. I don't know what I was thinking. I was just discouraged.

And I said, and that didn't even work out. So why don't we call it a day and let's go again this weekend. You know, I need to go back and work right now. And he said, no, there's one more place I want to show you. And I said, David, I love my realtor. I said, David, I just, I don't think that it's worthwhile. He said, I do.

And it's right around the corner. Give me 15 more minutes and then you can go. And I said, all right, fine. But my expectations were so low. Well, wouldn't you know, we drive around the corner, and I see this really quiet, really beautiful building. And it was kind of like off to the side, didn't feel like it was in a city. It just was perfect. And I thought, Oh my gosh, I've never seen this building before. I probably have driven by it 100 times. And he said, Yeah, it, I've never seen this building before. I probably have driven by it a hundred times. And he said, yeah, it's not very big. It's kind of secluded.

We went in, people were so nice. It was so beautiful. It was new. And we got to the unit that he was showing me. And the minute I walked in, I said, this is where I'm going to live. It's like what they say when you find the right person you're meant to be with for the rest of your life. You just know, I just knew.

And so it was all about me letting go of what I didn't get and being open to what could be and not settling in the interim. That's my big takeaway and lesson there. And I'm so grateful. Okay. So I did a one year deal. Super grateful. It's been incredible here.

We love it so much here. And turns out my son became really good friends with the next door neighbor and the people in the building are so supportive of us and amazing to us. And it's just been an incredible experience, super, super grateful. So of course we don't wanna leave. So when my lease was coming due,

we reached out to the landlord, to her people and and said, you know, we want to renew. She at first wanted to up the rent, which I said, absolutely not. We pay a ridiculous amount of money to live here. And she said, well, then I'm selling. So she's been letting me live and extend month by month. And I was hoping that over this time she would see that it's not a seller's market right now in Miami anyhow. So I thought she would change her mind,

but here we are. She has not changed her mind. So yet again, my son and I have to move, which is it's not nearly as big a deal. And this is something I've just learned in life. You know, if I had not just moved a little over a year ago, it would be a huge deal. It would be scary and how am I going to do it? But I just did this, right? Like I just saw this movie, it's not that big a deal. Yeah, it's a pain. And for a couple of weeks, a month, you're displaced a little and yes,

there's the uncertainty of not knowing where you're going. But I also have this trust and faith that I remember what happened last time. I remember when I didn't know where I was gonna go. And I remember that by letting go and just seeing what could be available, everything worked out exactly as it was meant to. And I just know that's what you're gonna hear start learning and growing. Inevitably some things will happen.

No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You would miss it. I'm on this journey with me.