Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #409: Why Fear Is a Greenlight That Says GO: Day 1 In Saudi Arabia With Heather!

Episode Date: March 13, 2024

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Why I was so wrong to be nervous about my trip to Saudi Arabia My huge revelations from taking bold action at LEAP Not letting fears get the best of you Why you have to be able to roll with the punches Resources: Visit heathermonahan.com Follow me on instagram: @heathermonahan Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  I’m back from Saudi Arabia! And let me tell you, I have a ton to share. You know that last week I was so nervous for this trip. But I have learned that worrying never helps anyone. It is so much better to just have faith it all will work out instead. And guess what? My first day in Saudi Arabia was incredible! A total whirlwind with some unexpected twists and bumps to be sure. I am so thankful for all the people who extended their hospitality to me and all I learned that day. Want to know everything that went down? Listen in!  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash monohand all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash monohand now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash monohand. Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals,

overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. That's a no-sleeping girl. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, I just landed from Saudi Arabia. I just got back from my trip for Leap, the largest tech conference in the world. And it is no joke, I'm just gonna tell you right now. Okay, I've had so many questions, so many DMs sent me wanting to know what I was wearing, was it dangerous, was I scared, you know, how did it go?

So this is definitely not gonna be one episode about this. I mean, I was there for a week, so so much happened. I have so much to tell you, but I'm so grateful. I'm just, I'm overwhelmed. I'll tell you the biggest takeaway I have is this. I worried, I started really thinking about it and thinking, oh my gosh, what am I doing? I'm going to the Middle East, I don't even know what,

you know, I don't know how to speak the language. I don't, I don't know what I'm doing What if it is dangerous? Ah, I started freaking out worrying for nothing instead and I know this if you have worry Turn it over to God, you know have faith Let's go back eight or nine months ago I got a DM from this woman Cheryl who actually ran the investor stage for the event And she's the woman that hired me to come speak for Leap. And I ended up speaking for multiple stages and working with different people.

However, she's my primary point of contact. She's amazing. And I love her. And I will tell you, I didn't know her at all when she reached out to me. I don't even know if I asked her how she found me. But, you know, I thought about it and I thought, wow, jeez, the largest tech conference in the world sounds like I should definitely be there.

And I thought for a minute, I've never been to the Middle East. Obviously I don't look Middle Eastern. That could be weird. But it was so far away, I just remember thinking, is this something for me? And I thought, well, I feel a little nervous when you feel fear.

Fear is actually a green light that means go and go faster. I should just say yes. So I just said yes. And I really didn't overthink it. Again, it was far away. It was like eight or nine months away. So it was easy to do that at that point in time. As it got closer, I started thinking like, Heather, what are you doing? You know, geez, here we go again. Who knows what monohand's up to. But I'm grateful that I don't overthink things. If I feel like these seem like good people and it seems like a great opportunity, you know, I trust myself that it'll work out.

Now listen, as you already know, if you've been listening to this show for a while, things don't always work out perfectly. However, you know, things are going really well and I don't know, that way of thinking works for me. And I highly suggest it for you too. Don't get paralysis of analysis and overthink everything in your life because you'll miss life. You got to take messy action and go for things. And you know, there's no perfect time and there's, you don't need to take a course in Arabic

before you go to Saudi Arabia. I certainly did not. And I had the most incredible trip ever, right? So don't overthink it. Trust your gut. If your gut saying, Hey, this could be a great opportunity, then go figure it out, live your life. And yeah, I got nervous a couple of days out because I had never been because I was going by myself too. That was another thing along the way. I had had one of my really closest girlfriends was going to come with me. It ended up she couldn't come, no fault of her. She'd been traveling so much and just wasn't gonna work. I know someone who came with me.

She's in my speaker mastermind group. She's an amazing person. She lives in California. So I knew she would be there. I didn't know exactly when she was gonna get there, how long she'd be. I didn't know the whole dynamic of it. So I knew I would know her.

I knew this woman, Cheryl, that hired me. And then a really good friend of mine and his wife, he was speaking at the event there from Miami. I've been friends with them for over 15 years. They were gonna come, but they weren't coming the whole time I was gonna be there. So again, there were some people that I was gonna know, but it wasn't like I was traveling with anyone. Like it wasn't like I had my team there with me.

So that made me a little nervous too. Okay, cut to the flight is long. I'm not gonna lie to you, right? I flew from Miami to London, London to Riyadh. And it's long. And the time change, it's plus eight hours from Miami to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. So I don't know, I'm not gonna sugarcoat that.

That's not the easiest. However, here's what I want you to know. I read an article, someone sent it to me right before I left, and it said it was written by Taylor Swift or an interview Taylor Swift did, which is she's been traveling all around the world and then she bounces back and forth to the US occasionally. I mean, Singapore, Australia, you know, she's everywhere. And they were saying, how are you able to make these time zone changes and flights and turn up and put on a great performance?

And she, I'm ad-libbing it, but to some extent, she basically said this, be present where you are. So if you're in Singapore, be in Singapore time zone. If you're in Saudi Arabia, be in the Saudi Arabia time zone. Leave the past in the past and be present and all in whatever country time zone place you are. And that's interesting to me because I used to travel to Vegas a ton for work when I was in the media business. I was the chief revenue officer and one of my markets that was struggling was

Vegas. So I would be out there at least twice a month and I would force myself to stay on Eastern time zone. So I did the opposite of what Taylor Swift did, and it didn't work. I was always exhausted. I was always having to leave dinners early. I was always waking up at 4 a.m. The gyms wouldn't open till 5. Like, it didn't work. And I thought I was helping myself. So I thought to myself, with this situation,

going to Saudi, okay, I'm gonna try the Taylor Swift way. I'm gonna go all in. I'm gonna change everything, and I'm just gonna be present in their time zone and acclimate that way. The other thing she talks about is getting out into the sun. When your body feels the sun, it says something to your internal clock that this is daytime. Even though it's an eight-hour time difference and I had been on two very long flights, I'd

traveled for over 20 hours to get there. I was extremely tired, but I knew this was my program. I was gonna set the alarm for morning, whether I slept or not, I was getting up and I'm going all in. I was actually giving a keynote that first morning. So I left Miami on a Saturday night and I got to Riyadh Sunday night very late.

And so I went right to bed. So many problems ensued. Like I had no idea Celsius versus Fahrenheit, so I didn't change the room temps, my room was hot all night, then I didn't know how to fix it. Then there's international plugs. And, you know, of course I had the adapter, but there's a switch that you need to turn didn't know how to do that. So I could, there was just like all these first world problems that I couldn't figure out. So bottom line is this, I did not sleep my first night there. Not ideal, but you know, first world problems, like we're going to make it work. So I make myself get

up. I had to get ready because I was giving a speech and I had to go get my makeup done because I didn't want to look horrible because I was beyond tired. So anyways, I just got up, grabbed coffee and like, let's go. Let's do it. Meet a different guest each week. Hey, I'm on the chain. Competence clear. When I started podcasting, an online store was the furthest thing from my mind. Now I'm selling my group coaching on the regular, and it is just so easy. All because I use Shopify. Shopify is the global commerce platform

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they're going to make it easy. Okay. So let me guess, like me, you get stressed out during the work week, maybe some nights it's even really difficult to fall asleep because you have so much to do, so much pressure on you, being a parent, working, dealing with difficult clients,

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distillery.com and use code confidence for 20% off. That's CB distillery.com, code confidence, CB distillery.com. So I had one thing that I want to say about the team that I worked with at Leap, which is incredible. If you haven't been, go next year. They already rebooked me. I'm speaking again. I can't wait.

I spoke five or six times this year, so I'm sure I'll be the same next year. I can't wait to see you there. It's incredible. Literally the largest conference I've ever been to in my whole life. I'm obsessed. The best experience, it's incredible. Okay, so many incredible people there, just so much technology. I learned so much. It was an amazing experience. Okay,

don't be afraid. You do not need to be afraid. It's so much safer than the US. You have no idea. Okay. So when I first landed, the team, people from the Leap team met me the second I got off the flight. And that was great because it put your fears at ease that, oh, you know, someone's looking out for me. It made me feel like someone cared, right, that I was there. They sat with me in this lounge. It literally took maybe 15 minutes to get everything through customs, my bags. What an incredible experience. That never happens in the US, by the way. Okay, so here it was already Saudis crushing from landing to just getting my bags. It was incredible I've never seen anything like it the people were so at the ready so helpful everyone spoke English again

I didn't know it would be like that. Okay, so then that they bring me to a driver and they say this is your driver And I said okay, great. So I'm thinking he's driving me to the hotel turns out. He's my 24-7 driver the entire time. I'm thinking he's driving me to the hotel. Turns out he's my 24-7 driver the entire time I'm in Saudi Arabia. Also, I'm introduced to the head of all the drivers for this entire event. So picture, there's hundreds if not thousands of SUVs everywhere with leap on the side for this event. Truly, this venue is 11 times the size of one football field. It's the biggest place I've ever seen in my life and I've been to so many events. This is nothing comes close to it. And there was a thousand speakers, right?

So I was so lucky to be a VVIP speaker. Don't know how I made that cut, but I did. And thank goodness I did because I ended up getting my own driver. I got the special pass. So I didn't have to, you know, go to certain lines or whatever. It was just what a gift. And I'm so grateful they took such great care of me I cannot tell you enough how amazing they were to me again Don't forget three days before I was getting so so nervous and scared to go for nothing for nothing

Don't worry worry is a waste wait to worry right turn it over to God turn it over to the universe Just turn it over there worrying will do nothing for you But steal your present moment in your present joy over it. And PS, I was worrying for nothing. I literally had the most incredible experience. Okay, so cut to my driver takes me back young Saudi guy, 20 years old, my son is 16. So immediately I loved him so sweet, so kind, spoke English, gets me to my hotel, you know, I tried to go to bed, I couldn't go to bed, whatever, wake up in the morning, ready to go.

The woman that did my makeup was incredible, and I'm learning all about the culture. And yes, there are women there, you know, completely covered from head to toe other than their eyes, and that's a part of the culture there for the Muslim culture. However, that wasn't the way in the hotel, or at the venue, or if you're American,

you weren't expected to dress like that. You are, or I was advised to wear pantsuits and advised not to wear a dress, advised not to show any cleavage, advised to wear high neck and have your arms and legs covered at all time. That's fine, I'm there for a week, no problem. I mean, granted, not how I dress in Miami, right?

Hello, not how we dress in the US, but the outfits I wore, I definitely would wear to a conference. In the US, it just was being very intentional about how I was dressing, which I give myself a little bit more grace, but I wasn't gonna do that there. I wanted to respect everybody. I did not have to wear anything covering my hair.

A lot of people asked me that. No, I did not have to do that, and I did not feel weird. I was nervous about that, so I had so many scarves with me and head wraps with me. I didn't wear any of them. I did bring a Pajmina with me, which I brought everywhere. And that was great because it was cold in some places. But now that I look back, I didn't have to have that on. I did it just to be extra cautious because I wanted to be respectful. But you know, I was dressed completely appropriate for the hotel and for the venue, which there were people from all for the venue, which there were

people from all over the world, right? It wasn't just Saudi citizens there, it was people from all over the entire world. It was incredible. So, and again, I was advised of all these things ahead of time, but you know, you don't know until you get somewhere. So the first day I was giving a keynote about empowering entrepreneurs to take setbacks and turn them into launching points or to take your setbacks and challenges and make them work for you, essentially flip them on their head.

And so we get in the car, I'm with my driver, my friend from my mastermind gets there, she jumps in the car with us, we head out. We're thinking it's going to be a one-hour drive. It turned into a three-hour drive. Okay, nothing you can do there. There were hundreds of thousands of people there, literally, to go to this conference. The traffic was a nightmare. It was a nightmare the first two days, the worst the first day. It took us three hours to get there. Obviously, I missed my speech, but we were in contact with the team. The team was incredible. They knew it wasn't just me that was late. You know, everybody was late. So they were changing schedules in real time. And, you know, just

these are the things that happen when you're at conferences of this size that you have to be nimble, you have to be fluid, you have to be willing to adjust. So they end up moving me. I was supposed to speak at 11am, now they move me to 6pm. Kind of a big difference, but okay, sure, we'll make it work. Let me tell you something, whenever you go to an event, be easy to work with. Whenever you show up in life, be easy to work with. Right? Like, make it easy on other people. Don't be difficult. People remember, and I will tell you, one of the things I heard from a lot of people is,

Heather, you're so great to work with, because whatever the adjustment is, I'll just make it work. I don't challenge it. I don't say, no, that doesn't work for me. I want to go home earlier. I'm tired. I haven't slept in a couple of days. No, I smile and say,'ll just make it work. I don't challenge it. I don't say, no, that doesn't work for me. I want to go home earlier. I'm tired. I haven't slept in a couple of days. No, I smile and say, I'll make it work.

Right? This is temporary and we can make it work. Be easy to work with. People appreciate that. They remember it and that's how you get chosen again. So I said, sure, so we'll do that. So we got the chance that day to go walk around for a couple of hours, see the venue,

learn where all the different VVIP lounges were. So we got the chance that day to go walk around for a couple of hours, see the venue, learn where all the different VVIP lounges were. It was miles, miles inside. That day, I think we walked nine miles in the venue just in the couple of hours before my talk. It was so wild. We got lost so many times. There were six buildings all connected.

I mean, just, it's huge. You can't imagine how big. Anyhow, so there was golf carts for us so that we could take a golf cart from building to building. What an operation that they put together. It was almost 300,000 people on site. And then it's also replayed digitally. So I don't even know how many views it gets. I'm sure millions.

OK, so I give my talk. It went well. There were so many people there. It was wild. I don't think I will ever, in my entire life be nervous about a speech because there'll never be a crowd that big again. So there's nothing really to worry about. And so that's the cool thing that I want to encourage you on

is that when you step on the big stages, when you go for the big opportunities, when you push yourself to do something huge, it's really not about that outcome as much as that you did it. So you know, the next time something else comes up, you're gonna be like, I got this, I made that other thing work. I went to the Middle East, it took the stage in front of 280,000 people,

and that worked. So why won't this next thing? Doing the scary thing builds courage and confidence for you for the next thing. Don't forget that, right? Jump on that next stage, take that next opportunity, take the promotion, ask the person out of the date. It doesn't matter what happens on the other side forget that, right? Jump on that next stage, take that next opportunity, take the promotion, ask the person out of the date. It doesn't matter what happens on the other side of that,

it's more what happens inside of you. It shows you your potential, it shows you that you can do that and you can do it again. And next time will be better. You didn't know how to do it yet, now you do, right? I feel, I will tell you right now, having just gotten home from Saudi Arabia, I'm so equipped to go back to Saudi Arabia

and I will not be nervous for a split second, not for a second, cause I've done it, right? You just haven't done it yet. And so when you change your mindset to that, Oh, this is an opportunity for me to get stronger, better, more confident, more fired up, more equipped for success. You don't have to fixate so much on that outcome and then you can have fun and be in the moment. So I'm really proud of myself. I did a great job of being in the moment, so much so.

One of my girlfriends messaged me like the second day there and said, you haven't even showed us one outfit yet on your Instagram stories. And I said, oh my gosh, I hadn't. Right because I was so there in presence. I did some catch up work and put a bunch of stuff in my story. So hopefully you were in the stories and got to see it. I will definitely repost some of the stuff

in the coming week or two on all my social feeds because I definitely want you to see firsthand how incredible this experience was. Okay, so that was the first day. So we didn't get out of there till really late. We were, I think, one of the last talks that night and the traffic going home was just as bad. I mean, literally we were in the car that day, probably five, five to six hours. Here's what's cool though. And I like I said, I'm the best driver in the world.

His job, he waits for me wherever I go, doesn't leave ever. No one ever does that in the US. They always leave you, they'll come back later, whatever you can't find them. It was incredible. The care that they put into taking care of people that came to work at this event was next level. And I'm so grateful for it. I'm ruined for life. I'm always going to want to have someone that takes that good of care of you. Of course, you just elevate your expectations when you're exposed to really high level service. And the service in Saudi is exceptional. And everyone was so nice. And for the most part, everyone speaks English. And they started teaching me Arabic too, which was so cool.

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So there's no guardrails on the side. It's like a desert on the side of the road. So just drive into the desert and hit the gas and we crank by people. It is so wild. It's so cool. So you're able to kind of leapfrog over traffic here and there. Obviously, you need to be with a driver that's from there that knows what they're doing. But we ended up having so much fun. Turns out my driver loves Thug Life hip hop like I do. So we were rocking out to Tupac, Jay-Z, Drake, Biggie Smalls. I mean, we had the most incredible time, literally, even though we were in traffic for three hours, it was so fun, so unexpected. I had no idea. And people are so familiar with what Americans like,

and they listen to our music, and it wasn't as different as I thought it would be. I mean, there's planes different, and it's magical there, and it's so beautiful, and it is a as different as I thought it would be. I mean, there's planes different and it's magical there and it's so beautiful and it is a desert. So during the day it's warm and at night it's very, very cold. This time of year anyhow, it was incredible. And the hotel, you'd think you were at a hotel in the US and they took such great care of us there at the hotel as well. So anyhow, get back to the hotel. But I had a dinner that night at the palace.

It was a gala that I had been invited to, that I was told yet again to wear a pantsuit. So I put on a black one piece like jumpsuit pantsuit, which with a high neck and long arms, long legs and covered, brought up Pashmina in case. And when I got there, my driver took me, I had to go alone. I wasn't allowed to bring anyone. And when I got there, it was, gosh, it was literally like right out of a movie. It was so beautiful and so historic. And there were these incredibly beautiful women downstairs. I think one of them was a princess and they gave you this really thick, gorgeous, like

luxurious black, heavy, heavy winter coat that was all lined in gold. It was so beautiful. And they gave it to you because people like me didn't know it was gonna be so cold outside. So they give you this incredible coat. They usher you to a table. I was so late for the dinner, sadly. I missed the tour. I missed so much because I ended up speaking so late

and then the traffic was so long, getting home and then I had to go back and change and blah, blah, blah. So anyhow, bottom line is this. They put me at a table where they found an empty seat. I met great people, some from Saudi Arabia, a couple of people, one from the US and a couple of people from other places in the world. And it was just so cool.

You're meeting people from all over. You're in this historic venue. There were so many people from the actual, the highest level of Saudi Arabia there speaking and got up and gave speeches about the commitment and the investment they're making into innovation and empowering women. And it was mind blowing to me. I had no idea. And the one thing I really liked about it, they are putting their money where

their mouth is and the vision 2030 that they have, and you'll hear more about that as I share some of the conversations that I had. Once I get the footage, I'm going to share it all with you. When you start seeing what's happening over there, it is unbelievable the commitment that they're making to change, evolve, innovate, and empower women specifically. And I just feel so grateful to have been a part of it. So that was literally my first day there.

That was the first day in Saudi, which is... It was a lot, but it was incredible. And so far beyond what I thought it ever was going to be, it was just, it was amazing. The service was exceptional. They had a waiter to every single person. They ended up giving us those gorgeous coats that I told you about to take home.

They're yours. It was a gift. I'm still so blown away by the service, the kindness, the giving nature, just how safe it was, how people were there just to take care of you and make sure you were happy and having a great time and answer any questions you have, and it was incredible. Okay, so that's day one.

I'm gonna give you a break because clearly I've been talking for a while. I need to go grab some water. I'm gonna come back to you with another episode and get you caught up on the remainder of Heather goes to Saudi Arabia. I still can't even believe this. It's so wild.

And by the way, I can't wait to go back. All right, until next time, let me tell you this. Just because you might be nervous about something, don't let that stop you. I felt really scared three days heading out to Saudi Arabia. And here I am to tell you, it was one of the top five trips of my entire life, incredible experience. I would never take it away for anything.

I was so wrong. Sometimes we get in our heads, we tell ourselves these false narratives, we act afraid because we just don't know, instead embrace the unknown and imagine when everything is uncertain, anything can happen. Even something as amazing as this. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be.

I decided to change that dynamic. And I fell out. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You can miss it.

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for navigating life's toughest negotiations by drawing from her own experiences and the wisdom of her high-profile guests such as Bob Proctor, Mark Victor Hansen, John Gordon, and Rebecca delivers empowering advice that will inspire you to reclaim control of your life. Negotiate your best life is all about how to negotiate your way to greatness. She provides practical guidance on how to break free from toxic relationships, stand up against injustice, and transform chaos into freedom, possibility, and purpose.

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You have helped me so much these last few weeks. I was with a narcissist for two years. She drove me to the point I wanted to take my own life. Listening to you has made a massive difference and now I know what I'm with. Thank you, Rebecca. Now the recovery. Thank you for gifting the knowledge to believe in myself again. You have unknowingly helped me legally represent myself through criminal, federal and civil court proceedings with a narcissist. There would be so many people around the world that you're helping without even knowing like me. You saved my life. Emma, 35 years old, Australia. If you are ready to stand up against injustice and transform the chaos in your

life into freedom, possibility and purpose, then check out Negotiate Your Best Life Now. Subscribe to Negotiate Your Best Life with Rebecca Zung on Apple Podcast Spotify or your favorite podcast platform