Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #431: YOU Be The Trailblazer: Introducing “Playing Small Is Canceled” with Craig Siegel and Heather!

Episode Date: May 29, 2024

The biggest stages in the world are waiting to welcome you. Are you ready to take the stage? Let me teach you how…. Join The Elite Mastermind with me! There are only 20 seats available. Link here: https://heathermonahan.com/the-elite-mastermind/ In This Episode You Will Learn About: How chasing the fear is the key to building confidence Why it is so important to be yourself authentically in business The people that are standing in between you & your best self Speaking your truth into existence  Resources: Connect with Craig and Check Out Our Show Playing Small is Canceled with Craig Siegel on LinkedIn Live Grab a Copy of Craig's Book The Reinvention Formula Instagram: @craigsiegel_cls Visit airdoctorpro.com, use promo code CONFIDENCE, and save up to 39% or $300, depending on the model. Call my digital clone at 201-897-2553!  Visit heathermonahan.com Reach out to me on Instagram & LinkedIn Sign up for my mailing list: heathermonahan.com/mailing-list/  Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  Sometimes we need to get back to basics. And you know for me that means CONFIDENCE! So join me as I share my interview on “Playing Small is Canceled”, the new LinkedIn Live show with my very good friend and fellow entrepreneur, Craig Siegel. We will needle down to the very core of what confidence means and how to foster it. We are not talking about abstracts here, people! It is all about simple, actionable steps for building your self esteem, passion, and courage every day. Your best self is out there waiting for you! You can do it. I just know it! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash Monahan, all lower case. Go to Shopify.com slash Monahan now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash Monahan. Come on this journey with me each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, so you know, I always want to test and try new things. I'm so excited today. A friend of mine, Craig Siegel, he's an incredible man that I actually have only just become friends with in the last couple of years. So anyone that tells you,

you are done making friends when you're younger, no. Oh my gosh, no, he's amazing. We're so on the same wavelength and whenever we do things, we have so much fun together. You know those people that just like, you're so excited. I'm so blessed. I have so many people like that in my life. So grateful. Anyhow, always make time for those people and let them know how much you appreciate them. I'm trying to get in the habit of doing that every day. I just sent a text to someone I appreciate so, so much and it made him so happy and that makes me so happy. Right. So like, I don't know, it just puts good vibes out there. So here's the thing is today.

Well, this is actually, it was recorded a week ago or a few days ago. Craig has a new show on LinkedIn live. And when we did the show, he was interviewing me, right? However, I noticed that it wasn't accessing my audience of over 300,000 people. So I said to him after I'm like, we should have done that from my page to help you more, right? Like it didn't help you other than I think it's pretty good content.

You'll tell me what you think. Oh my gosh. I share some very personal things, but it's so fun. Like if you need a high energy boost in your day, this is it. You're going to love it. Cause he and I just have great energy together. Anyhow. So I said to him, listen, why don't I share it on my podcast to help your region help you any way I can. So today you're going to hear my good friend, Craig Segal's new show on LinkedIn. He's doing a LinkedIn live every week. And I'm going to have all the links for everything in the show notes below.

So check them out. He's such a great person. Has an incredible book out the art of reinvention and reinvention for me a lot. Like he's just, he's all about doing that next right thing, going to the next level, surrounding yourself with great people. He's incredible. So let me know what you think of this episode. I love it. And don't forget, there are literally a few days left. You have three, three days left to apply for my mastermind. That's it. Once a year,

you get this opportunity and then it's gone. It's the only way I work with people directly anymore. And it's just with this team and we just closed out my last mastermind and these people have done the most incredible things. Their life has changed drastically. One person left a spouse, one person left a job, another person left a C-suite position in corporate at a fortune 100 and jumped to a startup and has been taking the biggest stages in the world. Another person started their own podcast. Another one started writing a book. Two of them have landed Ted Talks. It's epic with these people. One of them came to Saudi Arabia with me. Some of the new people on the new team that are launching on Friday the 31st,

I'm already inviting them to come to the Microsoft event with me that I have coming up. I love bringing my team with me wherever I go. So if you want to come to some of the events that I do, you got to get on the team, get on the team. You want to go to the next level, get in the room with people who have done the things that you want to do. And I will tell you this, I had an incredible meeting this week with my agent

and a speaker bureau and the things that I'm learning now, mind you, six years into this business, gosh, I wish I had known years ago. If you want to get the hacks, the tips, and the tricks to get ahead, I'm giving them all to you. I'm giving you access to all my people, all the players and all the info I have. So if you're ready to go to the next level, click the link below and apply for my mastermind. This is your last chance. If not this, then what? If not now, then when? All right. Cut

to me and Craig. Let me know what you think. I can't wait to hear. On today's episode of Playing Small is Cancelled, we have a very abundant treat. We're joined by a powerhouse in the world of business and personal development. She's a top 50 keynote speaker, two-time best song author, Ted speaker coach, and her content will penetrate your soul, no big deal. From a thriving corporate career to an unexpected termination, she turned a challenging situation into the ultimate redirection, creating the thriving game-changing business

and brand she has today. She's just a juggernaut in all of us life and a terrific human being. Please welcome the uplifting, radiant, and beautiful, the confidence-creating, trailblazing, and my dear friend, Heather Monahan. How you doing, Heather? I'm so much better now that I get to hang with you.

I'm so hyped to be here, Craig. Thank you. My pleasure. We just started the show on LinkedIn. Super excited to build up that platform and so forth. You have an awesome LinkedIn presence, but more importantly, you are my favorite friends

that I have. I love you so much, so much respect for you. And every time we get together, it's just magic. So there's no place in the world I'd rather be than right here with you. I feel exactly the same way. You know what's interesting? You just teed it up, you know,

sharing that I had been fired, but here's what's so crazy. First of all, two things. AI is crazy. So just so everyone knows, I have a clone now, a digital clone of me, which it literally is me. It lives on my website. And it has a phone number.

You can call her. And it's me talking like me to you with all the knowledge that I have, which is surreal. But I get met. It's so bizarre. I have to show it to you. But anyhow, the point of my story is that I got a message when the clone can't answer something

based off of my books, my podcast, and all the knowledge that's out there in the universe, it will send me a ping and say, Heather, the clone can't answer. Can you manually answer? Craig, this was crazy. Someone sent a note to the clone saying, Heather, I understand you had adversity earlier in your life, but what challenges do you ever

have to face now? I was like, what? I'm like, there isn't an, I want like five pages to end. I have challenges on the regular, like constantly, my life is constantly facing challenges and overcoming them. And I want everyone to know that, listen, the most confident people in the world, it doesn't matter how confident you are, how successful you are on paper, whatever.

Everyone who's going to the next level, who's pushing themselves for more, who's in a growth phase in their life, you're constantly facing struggle, challenges, and things don't always work out, and that's okay. I would say everyone's gonna have challenges regardless of the life they're living,

but specifically with someone like you, who's constantly looking for that next level of expansion, whatever expansion means to you, spiritually, business, professional, career, relationships, there's always new obstacles and challenges. Even on a spiritual level, like home, the opponent, the ego, whatever, the more you get closer to the castle, elevate your consciousness, the more they like to feast on you because they see what you're closer to the castle, elevate your consciousness, the more they like to feast on you because they see what you're up to. Oh, it's so true. And it's so important for people to know that no matter where you are in your journey, you're going to be challenged. You are not alone. You're in great company.

Me and Craig are with you. Craig, you're always pushing yourself. I've been watching you on Instagram with these marathons, these races, you have physical ailments, you're having health challenges and you still keep going. That can't be easy. No, it's not. But would we really want it if it was easy? I mean, I'll take a couple. I'm always looking for the easy button. I am happy with easy when I get it. But obviously, I feel way more proud when I overcome something and then see that vision that I had actually come to fruition or turn out even better. And something for everyone listening, listen, five years ago, and I make myself do this

a lot, if I knew and was sitting where I'm sitting right now here with you, knowing what I know, if I knew this five years ago, I would have been crying my eyes out so hyped, so excited. So don't lose sight of that. Like be proud of where you are today and reflect back and say, wow, like, it's a miracle of things that have occurred in all of our lives. There's so many blessings everywhere. Yeah, I love that. And also, obstacles and challenges, even though they're tough in the moment, that's really where we

are able to create the most growth moving forward. Right? Like even like, it's to to take so much knowledge out of a big win or success because it worked. But some of the losses, the mistakes, the setbacks, the obstacles, the stuff that really are blows and so forth, that's a lot we can learn from and refine or redirect or even just cultivate resilience, courage. So great point. And just reminded me of a story. For everyone watching, I have a podcast

called Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan. Craig, of course, has been a guest on it, and one of my favorite guests. And I was interviewing Jesse Itzler. I was in Atlanta at his house interviewing him for my show. And we got off the show, and we were talking. And he's like, what's going on with you personally? I'm like, oh, I'm freaking out.

My son has to go away to basketball camp. And I'm so nervous for him. I want it to go well. I want it all to be a win and be a meet. And he's like, whoa. And he has a bunch more kids than I do. And he's like, wait a minute. You're losing sight of what actually counts.

You want him to be scared to death to go out there and go out there. You want him to fail and maybe almost want to come home and stick it out and actually make it. So that way, Heather, when he goes to college, he's like, oh, I remember what this looked like. Oh yeah, I'm not nervous now. This is like, I'm comfortable with this

because I know what it looks like to fail. I know to embrace it. I know to step into it. And he helped me reframe as a parent. Like I was able to do that for me, but now as a parent, I was able to say like, okay, you didn't make the team? This is an amazing learning lesson. Like we was able to do that for me, but now as a parent I was able to say like, okay, you didn't make the team. This is an amazing learning lesson. Like we're not going to make every team. Not everyone's going to pick us, but that's okay as long as we pick ourselves. Yeah, you always

want to protect someone that you care about specifically. I don't have a kid yet, but I do have a puppy. He's like my son. And I always just want to protect it and make life easy for them, but that's actually, that hurts them, right? Because they have to go through some shit for a lack of better word, so they can start to cultivate courage, resilience, grow, figure out, learn lessons, and then realize, you know, spoiler, life is not always so easy.

There will be seasons that are tough, but it's best to be able to have tools to get through those storms. Oh, so, so true. There's gonna be seasons where things seem easier, but they won't stay like that. Like it's all temporary, and you're always like in the middle of a story,

not knowing, you know, what next thing is going to, to reveal itself to you. So it's wild. But I wanted to say something about this show and what you're doing, which I think is so cool. Right now on Netflix, well, first of all, on Netflix is the Tom Brady roast, which is literally the funniest thing

I've ever seen in my life. I have to agree, I couldn't even believe it. I never watched comedy like that. I could not believe how funny it was. Yeah, I've watched it twice already and I will be watching it again. I loved it. Okay, so that's just a note.

But secondly, there, I'm a big fan of Kevin Hart, my son, and I love to laugh, so we watch anything Kevin Hart. Right now, he's winning an award on Netflix, and there's this really cool show. It's kind of like a little bit of a roast about him, but it's really funny, great evening about him winning this award.

Anyhow, at the end, he's getting all these accolades from everybody, and it was really cool to hear because I apply it to our lives and us doing this show right now, and for everybody listening, Kevin Hart was one of the first people to say, I us doing this show right now. And for everybody listening, Kevin Hart was one of the first people to say, I'm going to do comedy differently. I'm going to go try acting.

I'm going to try serious acting. I'm going to try major, like, the rock adventure acting. I'm going to launch a podcast. I'm going to start touring. And I'm going to start taking the biggest arenas in the world that Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber sell out. And I'm going to start selling those out. And it's so cool if you watch this special on Netflix

because these other really incredible comedians are all talking about how he raised the bar on everyone and now they're stepping out and doing the same things that he led the way on. So it's so important to remember, when you take that chance and think bigger and have this vision, it's so important to share it, step into it and start owning it, not knowing how it will come to fruition because you open that door and make it possible for all these other people

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you will also receive a free three-year warranty on any unit, which is an additional $84 value. Lock this special offer by going to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code confidence. You're welcome. That's right. Beautifully said. And I love how you kind of connected that to the title of the show.

We spoke at the UN about a month ago and we haven't, I haven't seen many people in our space doing stuff like that. And one of the things I was most proud of was to just potentially open the door for more of us to be able to speak to crowds like that, not necessarily the entrepreneurial events or companies and so forth.

And I just thought it was awesome. And when you said about Kevin Hart, so true, every time you raise the bar, you showcase what's possible. And now everybody along the ride has more opportunities. Oh, it's so good. And I recently spoke for Google. And the woman that hired me to come in to give this speech, we were talking offline.

And she was just being really honest with me. And she's like, Heather, I have a really hard time where I am, because there's not a lot of senior leaders in the company that are female in the arena she's in. She's like, so how can I do it if I can't see somebody else do it? And it's also important to know you don't have to see somebody else do it? And it's also important to know you don't have to see somebody else do it.

You can be the first one. I was the first one that I saw in media in the C-suite as a female. I was the first one. Like you can be the one to pave the way. You don't have to wait for somebody else. It is a blessing when there's someone, you know, like the Sarah Blakely's in the world

and Oprah's for women that have, you know, paved these incredible ways, but you can be the one that's breaking out and paving a new way. That's why I called you a trailblazer in the world and Oprah's for women that have, you know, paid these incredible ways, but you can be the one that's breaking out and paving a new way. That's why I called you a trailblazer in the intro, because that's what you are. Oh, thank you. I certainly try. I try so hard. I'm a try hard.

Good effort and consistency and discipline, superpowers that are ironically accessible to everybody. Yeah, but it takes hard work and like you said, grit and a commitment to showing up every day. And that's where it gets tough for some people. I noticed that. The Kevin Hart thing, is there a documentary on that specifically? The thing that I'm referencing, it's new.

It's like trending right now on Netflix. It's this award that he's winning and they just kind of showcase that story. I don't know, but that would be so cool if they did a documentary on that whole thing. I would love to see whatever it is that you're referring to because I love him too, and his mindset sometimes gets overlooked

because he's funny, but he's very intentional, visionary. Such a visionary, yeah, I'll send you the link to it. It's so good, you guys gotta watch it. This is why I love getting together with you. Besides the many obvious reasons, I had an agenda for today's show, and we're just all over the map.

I wanted to ask you a fun icebreaker. You ready for me? Like we need an icebreaker. I know. Yeah. All right. What does it mean to you Heather, to live an authentic life?

That's a great question. And here's why it really lands with me. Guys, this is, I'm being so honest. So for 20 why it really lands with me, guys. I'm being so honest. So for 20-something years, I was in corporate America. I dressed very different. I wouldn't wear a jean jacket and a body suit anywhere, because you had to be between the lines.

And Heather, stop wearing dresses. Wear pants suits. And Heather, it would be better if you had glasses. It would make you look like you're more serious. And don't ever wear your hair in a ponytail, I was told. suit. And Heather, it would be better if you had glasses. It was what would make you look like you're more serious. And don't ever wear your hair in a ponytail. I was told, but I would follow along like, okay, I want to get promoted. I want to do the thing like, I want to make it to the top. I'm going

to play the game there. They're outlining for me, right. And here's where I am saying that's not authentic, right? Like I still was my personality. But sometimes I dial it down. I wouldn't be as loud as I down. I wouldn't be as loud as I am. I wouldn't always share my crazy ideas because I wanted to fit between the lines so that I could make it to where I thought was the end goal. Cut to I get fired. I never have showed up so authentically in my life of like, listen, I mean, I wear a ponytail wherever I want. I wear jeans wherever I want. I wear a dress wherever I want. I wear jeans wherever I want.

I wear a dress wherever I want. I do whatever I want, right? Sadly, now I actually do have glasses, and sometimes I have to wear them. But here's the thing is that I'm so authentically me. And that started with getting fired and putting a post up that said, I've just been fired. If I've ever done anything to help you,

I need to hear from you now. And that post went viral. Not for nothing, it went viral because I was so honest and so just real me, right? The more real you can be, the more you're going to attract the right people, the more you're going to attract the right romantic relationships, business relationships, clients, partners, everything. For so long, I was showing up as a curated version of me, still some me, but like some not really me, me designed by other people and I was never going to reach my potential if I kept

showing up as a V-rate version of myself. And also I love it all and it's hard to like really, really, really, really love yourself if you're not really your true authentic self. I know I struggled with that for a long time. Oh yeah, because you and I know I struggle with that for a long time. Oh yeah, because you and I have similar stories in that way. Yeah, no, there's no way you can love yourself if you're really not being yourself. Like that's a contradiction, it's an oxymoron, right? To really love yourself is to accept yourself and to accept yourself is to be yourself. Hell yeah, so good. A lot of the things that you talk about to do with confidence,

Hell yeah, so good. A lot of the things that you talk about to do with confidence, I'm wondering, I think this is tangible for everybody listening and who watches the replay. How do you cultivate confidence specifically after a setback or something that like hurts your spirit a little bit? Let's talk about when I got fired, right?

Because that was one of the biggest confidence breaking moments. And I'll tell you why. I had given a lot of, number one, I wasn't showing up as a real me, right? So that was one where Artie set me up for failure. But two, I was giving a lot of power and a lot of attention focused to my paycheck, my title, my team, all these external factors outside of me that aren't true confidence, right? Like you want true confidence to come from within, no one can steal it from you then. No one can take it from you then

because you own it, you rock it, right? What I realized was my real confidence came from my experiences, my intelligence, my personality, my amazing network of real friends, not the fake ones that fell off when I got fired, but my real ride or die friends. All these who your heart is taking chances, all these things were my real confidence.

But because I had outsourced it for a while, I was at a rock bottom. I was at zero. So here's a couple of steps that I took that I hope can help anyone that's struggling with confidence. One, I ask for help. Asking for help is something strong people do, okay?

Regardless of what other people tell you, I'm spitting facts right now. So, you know, ask for help. I did it. That post that I put up, I asked for help, went viral, landed me on the Elvis Durant show. Get around people who are ahead of you. That takes confidence and that builds confidence. Start getting in rooms you're not comfortable in. Going on his show made me feel uncomfortable, right? Like, if you're the smartest person in the room,

you're never going to be confident, because you're not challenging yourself to grow and access new and different environments. Step into fear on the regular. That's what I started doing. I realized I had been in one little bubble, one little industry. And when you do that, you're not really seeing yourself

or your potential for what the possibility may be. Get out of that little bubble that you're in. Start stepping into these unknown situations and you're gonna start seeing where your talents and skillsets add value in different ways. I had no idea there was a speaking business where people were paid billions of dollars because I spoke for free

in my industry for 20 something years. And people would tell me all the time, you're a great speaker. I'm like, great, that and $10 will get me a coffee at Starbucks. It didn't matter. But that's because I was living in a bubble in the media business. They didn't pay speakers. We just relied on people doing favors for us for free because everybody wanted whatever network or platform we had. We just relied on people doing favors for us for free because everybody wanted whatever network

or platform we had. So I had to get out of that bubble and start exposing myself to people in different industries. Pick your head up today, get out of your industry, get out of your bubble and start accessing. And it's great you're here listening to this content right now because we're probably not in your normal sphere. But continually put yourself in different environments

and different spheres so that you can gain intel into what is it you're really meant to do, right? Like you're never going to be confident if you're in an accounting role, but your real passion is painting and you come to life when you're painting, right? To really step into true confidence, you got to kind of find your way to, Heather, I don't know how to make that jump from accountant to a painter. Great. But now declare it, declare that this is where your truth and your real abilities lie. Don't know how to make that jump from accountant to a painter. Great. But now declare it. Declare that this is where your truth and your real abilities lie. Don't know how I'm going to get there, but I'm going to start taking small action steps on the daily

to get me to do it. On the weekends, I'm going to spend time doing it. Spend time doing the things that breathe life into you and fire your villains. Get negative people out of your life. The day that lady thought she fired me, I fired my number one villain from my life. And it set me up to take off

because the minute I had negativity out of my life, positive people started coming in left and right. And I had to be open to, I don't know what's coming next, but I got a feeling the more negative stuff I get away from, the more positive opportunities they're gonna start to present themselves. That's it. I mean, where do I even begin?

Unbelievable. Specifically the part where you're talking about, like if you have a passion for painting, just take some steps. This is where the juicy stuff comes in that I know you and I can jam out on with spirituality. Like I believe the Creator, whoever's listening, maybe you have your own thing, quantum universe, but when you awaken that desire to really go after what tugs at your soul, that's where you create the opportunity to receive some surprise support or some assistance, right? Because you're going after it.

But if you're not gonna go after it, you're just gonna talk about, oh, I wanna do this, but I'm stuck at this job, then you can't really receive those surprise blessings and miracles, right? Well, yes, I agree with you. However, for anyone listening, I was complaining probably

my last two years at that company. On paper, I was in the C-suite making a lot of money, had big responsibility. It looked like Heather's nailing it, winning all these awards. But inside, I didn't feel fulfilled. But I didn't know what could be on the other side. So I would just complain about it to my inner circle, like, that lady treats me terrible.

I'm sick of being talked like this. I don't want to work with her anymore. I truly believe, Craig, on some level, I was speaking that into existence. So a lot of times, and what a blessing it was that I got fired because I didn't have the confidence or courage to leap on my own. But what I would say to people is,

when you sit around and kind of complain, like this isn't for me or whatever, you're starting to speak stuff into existence. You have no idea what that might look like. Instead, like this is how for me or whatever, you're starting to speak stuff into existence. You have no idea what that might look like. Instead, like this is how I do it differently, I would have started testing and trying and building something on the side at the time, on the weekends, at night, whenever I had free time,

to start seeing like where else could I find my skills and assets, you know, drive revenue, or like what else could this potentially look like? Start exploring the positive and the opportunities and you'll build momentum so much faster than kind of sitting around and complaining, which is what I did. And then basically speaking that into existence too.

But I agree with that. That's how that happened. Well, one of the reasons why, because everything happens twice. First in the fear, as a thought, and then manifest this in real life. So the fact that you were very adamant about, you're miserable, this sucks,

why did you treat me like that? You were creating a new reality subconsciously. It's so clear to me now, but it was not clear back then. Right, and people will say like, well, yeah, of course you could do that. Of course you were gonna succeed. I had no idea if I was gonna succeed, guys. I had an 18 month non-compete,

which meant for 18 months, I had to leave the arena that I was an expert in. I had to start overmonth non-compete, which meant for 18 months, I had to leave the arena that I was an expert in. I had to start over as a beginner somewhere. And that is scary AF, right? Especially because I'm a single mother and I built an expensive lifestyle. I am not married to some billionaire

and I have no need to pay bills. I had to drive revenue quickly, just like 99% of people out there. And so I had to reinvent myself. I had no idea what it would look like. But I did start thinking, listen, those right doors are going to open. You have to start having that conversation with yourself

in a positive light. I don't know what lies ahead. But I know there's something great out there for me. I know I was put on this earth to do good. I don't know what it looks like. But I'm going to have faith and take action steps. And I'm going to move forward. And it's going to be messy. But eventually, I'm going to what it looks like, but I'm gonna have faith and take action steps and I'm gonna move forward and it's gonna be messy, but eventually I'm gonna figure it out

and I'm gonna have faith that I'm on the right path and you'll start seeing and you'll start getting momentum and those doors start opening and it's so beautiful when it finally clicks. Yeah, one of the things that, many things I admire about you most is messy action. It's a chapter in my book just talking about that. I think so many people I see, especially like aspiring entrepreneurs, they're waiting for it

to be perfect or they're waiting to get the energy to do it. First you do the thing, then you start to get the energy, right? And the messy action creates opportunities that you didn't necessarily have on your whiteboard, but you've got to give yourself permission to be less than perfect and just take messy action, right? P.S. Nobody's perfect. And if someone's trying to act perfect, run. Those are not your people.

Those are fake people. And we all have flaws and we all, you know, we're all going through growth phases, not knowing what it's going to look like, knowing we're taking messy action and living in the messy middle. But the beauty is like when everything's uncertain anything's possible like you don't know who that next opportunity is going to be that next partner client like that's super exciting too. Yeah. How do you personally overcome like self-doubt and stuff I imagine you still

face that every single day especially because you're always pushing the bar and doing new things and stepping out of your comfort zone how do you overcome like the ego of the opponent that wants you to play a little bit smaller? So the first thing that comes to mind is this crazy and you know this, but I'm single right now and I am not used to being single, so I'm dating. And for some people, listen, typically at work

I'm super confident, like I've got an unlock. Listen, I'm gonna make mistakes. I'm not saying I'm perfect, but my track record speaks for itself like that. I just lean on that I'm like, hmm Heather, you're gonna figure this out. Like you always do right? However, I'm divorced Right. Am I my I have a broken engagement a couple years ago Like there's a lot of failures more failures my personal life than in my business career So I'm kind of like I'm not at the strong strength that I have in business in the personal life arena. So

recently, I was actually on a date with someone and it was like, great guy, wonderful person, it's going really well. And I like regressed in my head, I got scared. And I couldn't, I didn't manage it properly, which is disappointing, right? And so like, I handled myself in a way that I used to when I was very young, and I haven't done that in a long time, I got triggered and got scared, and I didn't act as the best version of myself, which is disappointing at 49 years old.

So I got out of the situation, and I sat with myself, and I was like, gosh, I was full of self-doubt. I was like, how can I go back 20 years of my life in a moment, how am I not nailing this yet? This sucks. Oh my god, I blew it. I started beating myself up. And I remember something a therapist

said to me many years ago. How's that working out for you, beating yourself up? How does that play out for you? I'm like, horribly. I end up miserable. I make more mistakes. She's like, right. So I knew the answer.

Pause, hit pause. Give yourself some grace, so I knew the answer, pause, hit pause, like, give yourself some grace, which I'm learning to do in my personal life, right? I do it all the time at work. But now I have to apply it over here. Okay, give yourself some grace. That sucks. You made a mistake. Maybe you need to check your ego and make an apology to this person and own your poor behavior. And that's hard to do, right? Like, because you seem like you're a little crazy. And you're like, OK, this is not normal for me.

Anyways, I don't really do that my first life. So I did it. I made myself do it. And this guy was so gracious. But in the end, it ended up not working out. And it certainly was because of how I handled myself that night. And I was like, you know what?

I need to check my ego. And I need to say, great learning lesson. Because now it's so clear to me. like, you know what, I need to check my ego. And I just say great learning lesson, because I'm now it's so clear to me, I don't know what that future would have been with that person, and I won't. But now I can learn from it, and I can be better moving forward. And so it's funny, I'm going with all my friends this weekend, and they're like, Heather, you never know who we're gonna meet this weekend. I'm like, I can tell you, it doesn't matter who we're

gonna meet, I'm going to show up as the best version of myself being kind and amazing to everyone I meet because I'm not gonna make that mistake again. Like that much I know, like I know that about me. And so it's kind of saying, like, I'm gonna check my ego, I'm gonna get away from what doesn't work for me, and I'm gonna step into being who I really, really am and be open to whatever it is that happens. And none of that has been easy for me, but it's definitely, I'm a work in progress. Yeah, that nugget just hit deadly with me as well.

How's that working out for you? How many times, especially me and you, like it's ironic because me and you thrive and encourage people to take messy action. But I also know me and you probably are a little bit recovering like perfectionists, like you wanna do a really good job with everything you do. And so if you give less than your best performance

with something, it's like the worst, right? You're like, oh my God, how could I do that? I know better. But then it's like, what good is that gonna do? Like learn from it, correct it, transform it, be better. I know it's easier said than done, but I imagine both of us probably tend to beat ourselves up a little more than we'd like to admit.

Oh my God, it's so easy to, but giving yourself some grace, hitting pause. I have a couple of people, couple of my girlfriends that I have on standby, and I call and they talk me right out of it. You need to know who to reach out to in those low moments, especially when you're not flipping the switch for yourself.

You got to have those power people. And listen, both of those people that are on my shortlist that I call for my relationship problems, they don't have jobs. They're stay-at-home moms. And that's great. They're not people I call when I'm having a problem with a business situation.

Like, there's different people in your life for different reasons and different situations. And it's great to lean on them and let people lean on you. That's it. Yeah. We're going to land the plane with the, if I'm being honest, the question I've been excited to ask you most. I don't know where you're at with talking about stuff like this, but you and I had some really deep conversations about faith and spirituality and stuff like that. And I know that it's played a huge role in your life specifically, probably recently. Any updates, how's it going with all that stuff? With my relationship with God?

Yeah. Amazing. I mean, my, for anyone listening that doesn't know, if you don't listen to my podcast, you might not know this, right? It's really the only place I talk about it publicly, but I, a few years ago during the pandemic, my son got very depressed and he lost his dog,

he lost sports, he was at home on Zoom school and things were not good. And I'm the most extroverted person I know, maybe other than you, Craig, that getting put on lockdown is not my vibe, right? Like I don't thrive in situations like that being alone and isolated. So we went through a really tough time

and I'll never forget one day my son came out of the room and said, mom, we need to get closer to God. And when your child says something like that to you, I picked up the phone, called a mutual friend of ours very fast, who's got a very close relationship with God. And I was like, what do I do? And he's like, you need to go to this church,

you church and get there as soon as you can. And we went immediately. And it started this incredible journey, which is now four years ago, right? I had grown up Catholic and obviously God's always been in my life. But you can listen when you're just kind of going through the motions, it's not like, I don't know, it's different for me now. Right. And so I am, I'm very deliberate. I'm very, I pray every single day. I hear from God, like I definitely have seen miracles in my life. My son is like the biggest transformation and miracle out of

all of it. And what I would say is like for anyone who doesn't have a strong faith or you did have faith and now you're upset about things or whatever it is, just be open to like, I just, I invite you to be open to the idea that listen there's something way bigger than all of us out there I think we all know that um be open to that idea that uh maybe you could have a relationship with God maybe you could try to pray maybe you could find a community of people like Craig and I that you could have in your space that when you have a problem we'll pray with you I have I have a number of people in my life that I pray with, because prayer works, right? Like, look at the stats. I mean, there's so much research on it.

Prayer works. And just recently, I was doing a LinkedIn event, and someone was telling me they had a horrible accident, they were paralyzed, and that they didn't know what to do. And the only thing I could think of was to just pray. Like, we've got to pray. Pray right now. Like, let's just pray for you.

Pray for your healing. Anything is possible. God is miraculous, and I'm just so grateful that I've been on this journey, which I know Craig, you're on the same one. So I know that you are too. Tell me what's going on with you right now. Yeah, so I love it all. Thank you for sharing.

I really dove deep into spirituality over the last year. So I started taking Kabbalah and stuff and went really deep with that. I was spiritual advisor. I think that there's bits and pieces from all different philosophies, religious, spiritual, and I said, people can sink their teeth into. The first and foremost being that there's something bigger

than us, like you said. And when you strengthen that relationship, I would say there's confidence, like you and I talked about, and then there's such thing as a knowing, really trusting like a faith. That's deeper than anything and that comes with really developing and cultivating a beautiful relationship with creator, God,

Hanukkah Harry, quantum universe, whatever your thing is. But I'm a big believer in that if you want to go higher, you've got to go deeper. And this stuff has to be priority, not just when you're going through a rough patch. In fact, it should be the opposite. When things are going really good, you should double down. And yeah, you'll see a lot of divine synchronicities and coincidences and stuff like that. And even if you're going through a tough

season, it never really feels as bad as it once did. Like for me, it's because I just know somehow, some way, whatever's happening in my movie right now, the creator is gonna make it net positive. It's so true and for anyone listening I would follow Coach Prime on Instagram. I love his messages about God and faith and like there's so many great people in the faith arena that you can follow on social media that really can remind you to uplift your spirits, to focus on your relationship, you know, to believe and to trust. And there's such a piece that comes with all of that. Meet a different guest each week.

What is all this? Confidence, creativity. Confidence, creativity. I asked you to try to find your passion. Yeah, beautiful said. Of all the really cool and exciting things you have going on, what are you most pumped about right now? I'm most excited right now for my mastermind.

Once a year I open the doors and I put together a team of people that I work with for one year. Once the doors close, it's done for another year. It's the only way to work with me outside of my keynotes and my consulting. So it's really like, it's an incredible way to get like-minded people together, to elevate yourself to the next level. And the changes that I've seen, I just ended my last mastermind a couple weeks ago.

And I saw one woman leave a toxic job. She was a C-suite executive in a Fortune 100 company and go to a startup and like step into her confidence and step into the belief in life she really wanted that she had been afraid to. One of my clients is writing a book, giving a TEDx talk, he launched a podcast, he launched a social media brand, and this guy like he was very much cut and dry, you know, business before, completely transformed his life. I had one of my masterminds came to Saudi Arabia with me and was with me backstage, like with the CEO of TikTok,

taking the stage with the princess of Saudi Arabia, like had the most incredible, like crazy experience that she would have never imagined. But all the reasons why people are doing these things is because you're on a team of people pushing yourself and one another to the next level. I truly believe that's why I went to Saudi and accepted that speaking opportunity was I'm like if I'm leading this team I need to do some crazy stuff. I need to do

some bigger stuff. Like I need to step into fear on the regular. So if you're not where you are right now, like if you if you know you have more within you, you know that you've got a message you want to share with the world and it's time to amplify it. Go to the link in my bio and apply for my mastermind now. There's only one week left to apply and hopefully I'll see you on the other side and we'll have the biggest year together yet.

I endorse that. And real quickly, how was Soria? It was the top five best experiences of my life. It's the largest stage. There was 280,000 people there. I took the stage like six times while I was there. And what's so cool about that is I'll never be afraid again. I'll never, like, it was one of those super scary things

because I'm like the only blonde American out there. I don't know what, I don't speak Arabic, right? Like I'm not very familiar with Muslims. Like I didn't know what I was walking into and people were so gracious and kind and supportive. And it became so fun and incredible. And I just, I'm so grateful. And I'm going back there, hired me back for next year.

And it's just, you know, I got to interview Steven Bartlett live on stage in front of hundreds of thousands of people. I got to give a keynote in front of like, it was just, it was like magic. And I truly believe that when you find your purpose in your calling and you keep taking messy action and stepping into fear and moving forward, those right doors are just going to open for you. You don't need to worry about it. Instead, you just need to start embracing it. Yeah, I love it. So happy for you. And that's why I'm so happy

for all the people that were there to get to experience you. Oh, thank you. It was like, it is wild, man. I was trying to speak Arabic on stage, like putting yourself into these wild situations. Now when I'm watching playback, I'm laughing so hard at me. But I'm super proud of me, too. I tried, you know? And listen, I was nervous, and I went out there. But then after doing the first one, I wasn't nervous anymore.

It just goes away, and you suddenly start realizing, Oh, no, this is where I meant to be like, I'm gonna make it work. Yeah. And I love to talk about chasing the butterflies, right? Like when you get that feeling like nervous energy, you're on the right path. That's your next level. It's so true. And there's a fine line between fear and excitement. Like I always remind myself, I'm excited. Your body doesn't know the difference, right? You just need to be your own hype man and say like I'm excited

I'm excited and then make it about the other people about serving others instead of making it about yourself and getting in your head I think to myself if there's one person out there today that I can impact and change their life Then this is worth going out onto this stage Not knowing how anyone's gonna respond to me and then let those things lead you and you're gonna make an impact. Yeah, such a beautiful song. I love you so much. I love you so much it's weird. I love you too. You're like family to me, my friend. Before we wrap up, real quickly, rapid fire. One to two Ardentis will have a little fun. You ready for me?

Born ready. Favorite movie? Oh, Say Anything just popped into my head when he holds the freaking boombox over his head. Do you remember this one? Are you too young for this? Oh my gosh, it's so incredible. Say anything. Yes, it's such a romantic, beautiful movie. Interesting. That's later. And I know movies. Well, yeah, you're younger than me. True. It's old. Okay. Your last meal on earth would be

something with truffle french fries because I'm a And I want to eat them all the time, but I don't want to be fat when I grow up So I'm in a constant battle against eating them Fries are so good. Okay, very guilty pleasure Probably watching Kardashians anything Kardashian cuz like I mean, come on, Heather, like what are you doing? But no, yeah, I love it. Okay, fair enough.

Favorite workout. My favorite workout of all time is running. I've been a runner my whole life. However, I've had back issues, knee issues. Listen, you know. So I've had to like also adapt, right? Like I gotta find new things to love. So I spin a lot now just because it's better for my body,

but yeah, forever I'll be a runner for life. Love that. Okay, two more. Your favorite book, not including one of yours. I want to still save my own, right? You know what? John Gordon's book, The Garden, right? Isn't that the one you and I talked about?

That one really impacted me in a really beautiful way. He, and I won't get into the whole thing, because I know this is rapid fire, but he kind of gets into the journey and relationship with God, but in a very different, cool way that I think, if you're curious about it, like check it out, it's a super easy read and it was very helpful to me.

Love it. And the last one, very, very deep stuff. Your favorite musician. Oh my gosh, there's so many, there's so, I have to say genre, I'm like thug life for life. Like I didn't choose the thug life. The thug life chose me, right? So it's like anything 90s hip hop, but then I love Drake.

I love Jay-Z. Like I love Kanye. I know people are hating this right now, but people want me to love country music and I do not. I love hip hop life. I just, I don't know. I love 90s. I love hip hop.

That's okay. That's okay. That's authentic. Who wants you to love country music? Oh my gosh, everybody, everyone. Okay. All right, fair enough. Well, as if I could love you anymore. Thank you so much for stopping by today

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