Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #434: How Unlocking Kindness Will Grow Your Business with James Rhee Teacher, Investor, CEO, National Bestselling Author, & Founder Of red helicopter

Episode Date: June 11, 2024

Check out Tony Robbins & Dean Graziosi's "The Game Has Changed Virtual Live Event" on June 13-15, 2024! Click here for your FREE ticket! The biggest stages in the world are waiting to welcome you. Are you ready to take the stage? Let me teach you how…. Join The Elite Mastermind with me! There are only 20 seats available. Link here: https://heathermonahan.com/the-elite-mastermind/ In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Give your business lasting power with integrity, kindness & courage How to access the moments in your life that will inspire you & others to reach new heights Why vulnerability in leadership is true CONFIDENCE Why creating a company culture that nurtures others benefits everyone in the long run Resources: Website: www.redhelicopter.com  Read red helicopter Twitter & Instagram: @iamjamesrhee LinkedIn: @jamesrhee Visit heathermonahan.com Reach out to me on Instagram & LinkedIn Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  Show Notes:  It’s time to throw that old intimidating style of leadership in the trash! What if instead we focused on the power of goodwill and kindness in a company? For James Rhee, it was these intangible qualities that took a twice-bankrupt company to overwhelming success! James has been a high school teacher, investor, CEO, founder, and now bestselling author of red helicopter and he is sharing his incredible journey of vulnerability, kindness, and radical leadership! Sometimes the simplest lessons are the most important. Are you ready to find your “red helicopter” moment? One moment can change everything for you just like it did for James. So let’s get inspired. Together we can transform our lives and business!  If You Liked This Episode You Might Also Like These Episodes: #361: Rewire Your Brain to UNLOCK The Science Of Success with John Assaraf CEO Of NeuroGym #364: How You Can Transform HATE To HEALING With Heather! #362: The POWER Of Serendipity With Heather! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash Monahan, all lower case. Go to Shopify.com slash Monahan now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash Monahan. That first speech I gave to the women at Ashley Stewart, I said to them, I was like, I'm probably the least qualified person to run this company. I'm none of the things you need. Female, fashionable, retail executive, all these things, but I'm the only one who showed up. I'm the only one who cared enough to be here. And so when I said that, people who mistook that for lack of confidence were wrong. I think that's real confidence.

Like I know what I'm not. I don't have to pretend. Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. Overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi and welcome back. I'm so excited for you to be here this week. Our guest this week is James Rhee. He's a high school teacher and Harvard Law School

graduate turned private equity investor and CEO. James's leadership story first grabbed global attention during his highly unlikely seven year tenure as chairman and first time CEO of Ashley Stewart. More on that soon. After his radical and yet intuitive approach fueled a transcendent, unprecedented, reinvention story for the company,

James concretized, whoa, that was a big one, his leadership philosophy and operating system, kindness, plus a little math in the form of Red Helicopter, his media education platform. He bridges math with emotions, smearing capital with purpose, while composing systems that bridge people's disciplines and ideas.

His transformational leadership has been recognized by leading civic and business organizations. Ree teaches at Howard University, where he serves as the Johnson Chair of Entrepreneurship, MIT Sloan School of Management and Duke Law School. His Ted Talk and Dare to Lead interview with Brene Brown have captured the imagination of millions. He's the author of Red Helicopter and lives outside of Boston, Massachusetts. James, thank you so much for being here today.

Hey Heather. That was good. I think concretize is a very odd word. I should sort of get rid of that word. Exactly. That was a tough one to spit out, but I'm glad we got through it. Your accomplishments are incredible. What is so cool is just getting the chance to know you briefly, as you and I were sitting here talking. You are such a chill, laid back, not in your face person.

However, your bio, no one would be able to know that when they hear about all of the accomplishments that you've had. What's the expression? It's like, is it the real G's move in silence? Like, I don't know. I've learned over the course of my life, I don't take myself very seriously

and I'm getting better and better as I've gotten older, but I take my relationships with people really seriously. I laugh at myself a lot, but I don't laugh at other people, but hopefully create relationships where they feel comfortable laughing about themselves too. Yeah. And fundamentally the foundation of the way I live. Well, it's working, my friend.

It is working. All right, since we only have a finite window of time with you, I really want to get into this. I love the book first and foremost, but I wanted you to start, if you could, telling us about this kindergarten story for everybody who hasn't seen the TED Talk, who hasn't read the book yet, so they can understand where this all started.

So on the cover of the book, there is no red helicopter, because I'm asking everyone, do you have a red helicopter story? But for me, it was literally a red helicopter. I was a five-year-old kid with a bowl cut, big dimples, pictured Long Island bowl cut, all right? And 1976, so I'm 53, holy crap. And I came home from public school,

like it wasn't easy in the Re household in 1976. We were not swimming in anything, actually. And I had a toy and my parents were like, why do you have a toy red helicopter? And they thought I stole it from school. And you know I got nervous I'm like no I didn't and then I got it from a family and then they said oh we didn't know in America you're supposed to give gifts in kindergarten so we're so sorry you felt left out I'm like no dad mom I'm the only one who got one just a family came

and gave it to me anyway series of like things that you think you're wrong and errors but they found out that I've been sharing half my lunch with this boy in my kindergarten class because he never had any and I thought I was in trouble the way my parents were asking me about it because you know we didn't have a lot of money or maybe I was being unappreciative to my mom. Anyway, so it's one of the last times or a few times I saw my dad really emotional because I think guys we have a hard time expressing emotion. We still do, right? In 2024. Anyway, he said, you know, the reason why your friend doesn't have lunch

is that his mommy died this summer and I'm not mad at you like I'm proud of you and he said that and I've always thought about that story because it's so easy now when you get older and you start overthinking things and you're focused on credentials or accomplishments and you know this at some point as an adult it gets burdensome it's like you get tired and I was like I always wish I had the wisdom of that five-year-old kid. I just, it was so easy. Like we didn't have a lot and yet I lived so abundantly. Like I was so generous even though I didn't have anything. I didn't care. Like he didn't have food. So like give him half your food. It's okay. I wanted to live like that. And at the same time I've

lived a life, you know, like some of the things I've been in communities I've been in, high performance, high achieving, and people self-obsess and I was guilty of that too, you know, and I didn't want it and so I didn't like it and so that's what the book is about. Can you sort of have that generosity and wisdom of a kid, that love of life, imagination, learning? And as an adult, does it actually, if you can keep those qualities, does it make you more effective, more insightful, happier, more charismatic, more imaginative? And I'm asking the reader, I think it does. And so, and I lived it during my 40s. Like I refound that kid, but I didn't lose the skills.

You know, kept the skills, but remember what it was like to be wise like a child. So how did you lose it and then come to find it again? You know, look, up until I was 18, I was a public school kid from Long Island whose parents immigrated a year. And that was my resume. Other than the fact that in work experience, it said Red Lobster washed dishes to earn enough money to take girls to the mall

to buy them orange Julius. That was one experience. OK. The other experience was bust tables for $2.35 an hour plus tips at a restaurant that looked like a ship in Port Jefferson, Long Island. That was my resume, right? And then interests, music, sports, that's it. You know, then you start going to schools

and like the college degree, like it says Harvard now. What's that mean? Okay, it's an overwhelming brand for a kid like that. I'm like, great. I got good grades. Great. I got into Harvard. That's so what?

What am I going to do with it? And so I kept fighting it. So after I graduated from Harvard, I think I went and taught high school for 12,600 bucks a year. I was so grateful that my parents leveraged the crap out of their house to pay for school. I was like, oh, other kids, this was nice to go to college like this. So I taught. And then I went to Harvard Law School to be a public defender.

It wasn't like I wanted to make a ton of money and stuff. But then I ended up being in private equity for a long time because I hadn't grown up with money. But it's important to know how money works. Like that's part of life. It's not like, you know, not recommending people to live in a cave and be an ascetic monk. Money is part of the equation, right? And then so during those periods of being private equity and like Wall Street, like Swashbuckler, that image of like this is whatever. So I like managing money and like in companies, but it's, I think, different for

me than maybe for most of the people in the industry because it's cool creating companies and creating jobs. What a gift to be able to be in a position to do that. For me, it wasn't about just trying to wring the last nickel out of everything and trying to hoard wealth. I've never been wired that way, but I know how to make money, right? So during that time period, I had a lot of like dissonance.

I'm like, oh, you know, I'm a high school teacher. I'm a pretty loving guy. Like, you know, I think sometimes guys have a hard time saying that too, right? I care a lot about people. I really do. And I used to be ashamed to say that, and I'm not anymore.

Like I really love people and I know how to do things that make money and build. So that was where I was and then it all came to a head in my early 40s when I was a dad of my own and I was having like not a midlife crisis, but just really thinking about like, okay, what do I want to do now? And then my dad was dying of Parkinson's. My dad was a pediatrician with a single shingle. He took care of so many families. My dad was a quiet hero. He really was.

And my mom was a quiet hero too. She was a nurse. And then there was this company that served predominantly black women who they were quiet heroes too. They took care of their families, worked hard, and they weren't asking for any credit. And you can imagine the business wasn't treated very well, I would say, you can imagine, right?

And that's where I was. It was like a Les Mis moment, like that Valjean, like who am I, like what am I gonna do? This business is about to liquidate, all these women are about to lose their jobs. This is not a normal business. It's like a safe place. Like the women congregated there.

They would spend time. It was like a breath of fresh air for them because they had so much responsibility and all the time, this was the one place they could actually be a little bit selfish. And I saw it and I couldn't unsee it. And so I left my life. So for my entire 40s, basically,

I was the CEO and like big owner of a business selling fashion in urban locations for predominantly plus sized black women. And for your listeners, I'm an Asian dude in Boston and like private equity guy and like, and I'm not fashionable and I dress like crap. And that's what I did. You know, and like the whole world was like,

oh my God, like what's going on? But it made sense to me. Like I was really grateful for their friendship. The women reminded me of my mom, you know, and like just, they were really decent people. They just hadn't caught a break and that they didn't know how the financial systems worked. And so I basically said to the women,

I'm like, just be yourself, you guys are awesome. Like, I know some of these other things, let me tinker over here, and let me design a system that rewards the type of behavior that I see from you, which is like high character, team, people who create a lot of value and don't ask for credit. So I rewired the entire company to reward their pro-social behavior. You know, then I put

in money and then technology to amplify it. Next thing I knew people were like holy crap, like it's awesome and we did really well and like financially we did really well but it wasn't it was almost like a second thought, you know what I mean? I'm like, I was more proud of the fact that people wanted to be part of us. Every race, every age, they're like, we really love your guys' friendship. How nice is this in a world that kind of sucks sometimes?

And so all of these people came to want to be part of it. And you had titans of Wall Street and tech companies, like we broke them down. Like they were like, yeah yeah we're tired too. Like how nice is this and do you guys have a real friendship? And I was like yeah we do and that's what I wrote about and I'm asking the country sort of do you miss a and chaos of live launching? Who isn't, right? But if you've tried going evergreen, you know that's not the solution either. Hello, low conversions.

So what's the answer? The Circuit Sales System is designed to make sales for you every single day while giving your audience all the excitement of live launching without you ever having to live launch again. What would increasing your current yearly revenue by 40 times look like for you? Okay, nobody's making any income guarantees here, but that's exactly what Nikki did for her business when she developed her Circuit Sales system. The Circuit Sales system is the automated system that combines the best of both live

launching and evergreen with none of the worst. Think high conversions and high predictability without the chaos or risk. Get the free on-demand video training at circuitsalesystem.com slash confidence. Get the free on-demand video training at circuitsalesystem.com slash confidence. Americans spend an average of 90% of their time indoors and take about 20,000 breaths a day.

According to the EPA, indoor air is two to five times more polluted than outdoor air and in some cases up to a hundred times more polluted. Data shows that air pollution is responsible for nearly 7 million premature deaths globally. I mean, this is crazy how concerning it is to hear that your air in your home is polluted. Maybe you have allergies like me and my son. Maybe you live near a highway. Maybe you live in a city, right?

Like there's so many issues with toxicity everywhere. You need to make sure that your home is a clean and safe place. And air doctors helping us with it. We have tremendous allergy issues and using air doctor is changing all that. So what's the solution? Introducing an air purifier that captured the attention of established media outlets like CNN, Money, ABC and more. Air Doctor. Air Doctor filters out 99.99% of dangerous contaminants and allergens such as pollen, pet dander, dust mite, mold, eww, and even bacteria and viruses. So your lungs don't have to. All Air Doctor

purifiers feature whisper jet fans 30% quieter than the ordinary air purifiers. Air Doctor also comes with a 30 day money back guarantee. If you don't love it, just send it back for a refund minus a shipping. Head to airdoctorpro.com and use promo code confidence. And depending on the model, you'll receive up to 39% off or up to $300 off. Exclusive to podcast customers, you will also receive a free three year warranty on any unit, which is an additional $84 value. Lock this special offer by going to a i r d o c t o r p r o dot com and use promo code confidence. You're welcome. James, one thing I want to go back to,

because you gleaned over so much right there that I don't want everyone listening right now to miss a couple of things. Sometimes people watching someone like you on the outside, they're thinking, Oh, it was easy. It just sounded easy. And the way you just made that sound to me sounded easy. However, I happen to know a lot more based upon your writing. Can you talk to us a little bit about, and so the listeners understand,

you were in private equity, which is a completely different animal guys than being in operations. I mean, it is, and he has private equity, nothing against you, James. I know you weren't this way typically. And I've done a is and he has private equity, nothing against you, James, I know you weren't this way. Typically, and I've done a few different deals with private equity, they want to ring every last penny out, it is cutthroat. It is definitely

not typical environments where women are elevated are encouraged and supported. It is a very difficult environment based on numbers exclusively. That's been my experience. You were sitting in a private equity seat, you were on the board, I believe. I was. For this company and you decided to step down and take over as CEO in a not glamorous,

not attractive situation that was not near your home, not conducive to the situation you and your family had created. Yeah. It wasn't like it was some fancy fashion brand in the Hampton. You know what I mean? It was the opposite. And yeah, it was hard. Believe me, it was not an easy decision. It's not like I'm some monk. I have an ego too. And I was like, wow, I built my whole life from being this public school kid from Long Island. Like my parents really wanted me to not struggle as much in this country as they did. And they were horrified. My mom was like, what are you doing? And I kept saying to my mom, I'm like, no, these women are kind of like you. Like, what's the point

of knowing how to do all this stuff that I can now do if I can't be helpful to women like you? What was it about your mother's behaviors, traits, and characteristics that was similar to these women? I think that a lot of women generally, okay, generally, but and then also I think my mom, you know, she had a language barrier and the women that I served at Ashley were predominantly black women and plus-sized black women and moderate income. So a lot of Xs against them.

I think also, my very well-educated, privileged wife, who's a white woman, I remember her when she took time off after having our children and was thinking about getting back into the workforce, saying to me, I don't think anyone's going to want me anymore. And me looking at her and saying, well, they're idiots. So the common refrain about all this, and I grew up a lot with this at the kitchen table with my mom, I hate systems or people that make people and particularly women like this feel small. I hate it. And I grew up like that. I'm like, mom, like, it's not you. Like, it's just you're awesome.

It's the way things are configured or, you know, mental models and like, don't listen to them. It's easier said than done. Look, I get it, right? And so it gets into your head. So I grew up that way. So yeah, these women that I was like, these women are made to feel small a lot and they shouldn't feel small because what they're doing, frankly, sometimes it's heroic what they're able to pull off. A lot of the game is rigged against them. And anyway, that's how I am. Like I was my mother's son. And so even though she wanted me to not notice all that stuff, like I'm acutely sensitive. I'm a sensitive guy, right? I'm a musician, right? So like really I am. And so like I'm a musician that knows how to make money. So I saw that. It was at a

time in my life when my dad was dying, you know, and I'm 42, 43 at the time. I'm a father now of three kids. I've got two daughters, son. You know, you know, and I'm 42, 43 at the time. I'm a father now of three kids. I've got two daughters, son. And I'm just sort of that Valjean moment. I'm like, am I going to look the other way? Like, that would be ridiculous. And I had a hard time. So, but I wasn't a complete idiot. I said, I'm going to resign and resign from my life for just six months. That was the plan. And then I thought for sure someone would come in with a little bit of money, save the stores, and then I'd come home. And during those six months, I learned a lot about reality and a reminder about also who I was. No one came. Like two people come,

some young people that helped me, but no one came. And it's amazing how some friends, you lose them when you don't have the fancy business card. And I just looked at everybody and was like, this sucks. And I was lonely, yeah, it was not easy. I had a lot of moments alone at 2 a.m. in a hotel in New Jersey, just like pounding my head against the wall and saying, you're so stupid, James. Yeah, this was not like a hero moment.

I'm like, what the heck are you thinking? Like, this is, but I couldn't look the other way. Like, I just, and what saved me, frankly, was that when I was visiting all the stores across the country, I remember when you read that the business had no Wi-Fi, so they didn't know what I looked like. So you have to picture me coming in, this like Korean American dude that's wearing like pleated khakis, no fashion sense. I hadn't discovered fashion denim yet. Like I didn't know it was a thing. So I'm wearing like pleated khakis, my blue blazer with the gold buttons. You know the private equity uniform? You know I'm talking

about, right? Like the sort of, hey, what's up? It's a dressier blockbuster uniform. Totally. I was probably better off wearing a blockbuster uniform. Like, it was that. And you have to picture me now going around America in predominantly black neighborhoods, and they're like, you're James? You? And I'm like, totally. Like, me. And the greeting that I got was incredibly generous. And they were like, you know, you. And years later, I asked them, I said, you know, like a lot of women get burned a lot. And I think that it's fair to say there are a lot of big promises sometimes to black women and no action.

I don't talk a lot. I just do stuff. I'm like, I say it once. And I'm like, I said it once and I'm like, I said it, we're going to do it. But they said later, it was nice. They were like, you know, despite what you look like and you didn't talk a lot, but we could feel your heart. The minute you walked into that store, like your heart, like you have you radiate, you know, in Korean it's chang, like in English, it's goodwill. Like, and they would say, James,

you have a lot of soul soul like we can feel it. And I was like you know what I do have that. I realized that for a lot of my private equity life and sort of my like macho golf life whatever like I guess for guys sometimes it's not cool to care about things. I'm like that's stupid. I don't want to live like that. So I said, yeah, I do have a lot of soul. I do care a lot. And I know how to do all this other crap too. And it was that way. And I basically sang an anthem to a lot of the women. The tone of it was like, Red Helicopter in a lot of ways is an anthem.

And I'm singing and I'm a big Bruce Springsteen fan. So effectively what I was singing was, it's in Born to Run, he sings, will you walk with me out on a wire? Because baby, I'm just a scared and lonely rider, which I was, but I gotta know how it feels. I want to know if love is wild, girl, I want to know is your love real? And I was basically sang it to them. I'm like, I know I am everything you don't need, but I'm the only one who came.

I'm on this bike or helicopter. Do you want to go?" And the whole world laughed at me, but they didn't laugh at me, and they came, and they were like, we're in. And so it was just me and them against the world. And it was lonely, but it was awesome. And so that feeling of friendship

and not wanting to disappoint them, it gave me superhuman strength. I was just like, you're not going to lose. It just won't happen. But it was hard. It was physically taxing. I was away from my family.

I had bouts of real loneliness and self-doubt. Every time I had self-doubt, I thought about what I promised them, which was ride or die. I thought about my mother. I also thought about my wife would encourage me and say, you know, the man that I married, he sees things through and he's a fighter. And so I fought. And anyway, that's what happened. So that's a long answer to your question. It was not an easy time period. You know, there was a lot of loss too. And so, but that's life, you know, it's not toxic optimism. There's a lot of loss and sadness in life and it makes those moments of joy that much better. too. And so, but that's life, you know, it's not toxic optimism. There's a lot of loss and sadness

in life and it makes those moments of joy that much better. What was the turning point or where did you bring it together that you were able to say, okay, this is what's going to change things here? It was a lot of little things every day where it was very interpersonal and like, again, I don't talk a lot. I live a certain way. And so they were watching everything. Is this man going to come down here every freaking Monday at six in the morning from Boston? And it was the real turning point.

When I think about this was at my dad's wake. So it was two years into this crazy ride and I was so tired and I had a week in the book, it's the bridge, it's goodwill. I had a week that I was really tested like so my dad died after like 15 years of Parkinson's and my daughter almost died in a camp accident same week and I'm sitting there a macho guy like telling my assistant don't tell anyone, I don't want to be a burden to anybody. And so like I basically said to her to lie, basically tell them I'm on vacation. And so I'm looking upstairs a

bit, I'm like, why all this? Like, you know, like this is ridiculous. And at my dad's wake to, I don't want to spoil the book, but at my dad's wake, I thought the wake would be mostly pediatricians. It's my dad's scene. My assistant basically overruled my thing and she brought everyone from the home office. They all came. Our home office was like the United Colors of Benetton. It was ridiculous.

I was holding together, but what I really lost it was that the front line workers from the stores carpooled to come to my dad's wig. And I'll never forget it. And they all met my mother. And I remember watching them and like one of them saying, you know, Mrs. Rhee, we think you did a pretty good job with your son. And that was it. And then they came up to me and like, you know, they were like, oh, you know, James,

you didn't tell anyone. Why didn't tell anyone. Why didn't you tell anyone? And one of them held my hand and said, you know, like, you didn't think we'd find out and be here for you? And I cried. Like, I mean, so like I was 44 at the time. So I'm sobbing in front of like I'm quote CEO Chairman Tufka. Just sobbed. And like all my parents, friends were there.

And so in that moment of tragedy, I really, at that moment, I was like, this moment is success. And so to this day, almost 10 years later, there are very few things that bother me. A lot of my little weird insecurities or ego stuff, they're just gone. I'm like, it's not important. It's just not important. And so the armor went fully off at that point. And it's like being naked.

It's like, this is it. And I think that gift, they gave me that gift. It's hard to find friends in your 40s that really like you because you make them laugh, and everyone's so caught up in what can you do for me. And I don't live a transactional life. I never have. Like, I just don't live like that. It throws people off at times because of like my bio is like, who the heck's this guy? I hate that bio. Honestly, like I really don't care. That's where I am in my life. I just sort of live like a forest

gump life a little bit. And I do things that make people, I hope, happier or better. And I generally find that if you do that, you do get rewarded both spiritually, but also financially. And you do. Particularly now, you know, people are so lonely and it's so, people are so angry. And I wrote Red Helicopter in some ways

to make people less angry. And teach them some things that maybe they don't know about so that they can be less angry. They'll say, ah, that's why I feel this way or the financial systems work that way. Got it. And so I feel like the more you know, maybe people will be less angry

and that's a good start to just have a nice conversation. My answers are really long. Are they too long? No. What? Not that question. My answers are really long. Are they too long? No. What? Okay. Okay. I love that question.

No, not at all. It's so interesting. All right, I feel like a lot of people that are listening are in leadership positions, aspiring to be leaders, right? And one of the things, especially I know having been a younger leader, you think it has to be that certain way to have to be the blue jacket with the gold buttons

and you have to be tough and you have to be disciplined and you have to cut people and the business is cutthroat. And you know, James, the majority of people believe that. How do you speak to them or what can you teach them to get them to understand that giving more, being more vulnerable is actually the solution not only to happiness, but to bottom line success. Yeah, so the reason why the subtitle is about kindness, I go to great lengths defining really what kindness is. And I always ask people to think about their favorite teacher or coach or parent or aunt or uncle, that it's that person in your life

that holds you accountable to be your best self. And that when you're not, you have feelings of like, oh, I disappointed that person. And they always say to you, no, you didn't disappoint me. Why are you disappointing yourself? That's a great leader. And so that person that inspires that out of you, think about it, they're not angry.

They're not cutting. They're not screaming. They're growing. They're like investing in you and they have high hopes. They're generally very calm and they sort of give you like the look when you kind of screw up and you're like, Oh, I screwed up. And then they give you the next look, which is like still believe in you, you know, are you going to learn from it?

So that's what I believe kindness is you're investing in someone's agency. So that's what I believe kindness is, you're investing in someone's agency. And so that type of person, intuitively, we know that person is competent, right? Very sure of themselves. They're not trying to live vicariously through you. They're confident in their own self that they're comfortable you having your own life. It's very generous. And so leaders like that share half their sandwich, right? Share the credit, share the press, share the attention. They're very confident. They know they look better when you look better. They're like there's a lot to give to go around. They don't act like scarcity people. They're

very abundant. And so when you have that confidence, you're, I think, confident enough to walk around naked too and say, yeah, I suck at this. I don't know this. And when I look back, that first speech I gave to the women at Ashley Stewart, I said to them, I was like, I'm probably the least qualified person to run this company. I'm none of the things you need, female, fashionable, retail executive, all these things, but I'm the only one who showed up. I'm the only one who showed up. I'm the only one who cared enough to be here. And so when I said that, people who mistook that for lack of confidence were wrong.

I think that's real confidence. Like I know what I'm not. I don't have to pretend. I'm like, I don't have time for it anymore. This is who I am. I don't know if you got to that part where I was courting my wife when I first met her. I was like, I married way over my head, right? And I remember saying, I was like, I know, you know, there are lots of other guys and

like I'm, no one's offering me a modeling contract. I'm poor. I've got a hundred and something thousand dollars of debt. My last job was teaching high school. There was a race part of it too. Like I'm Korean, she's Caucasian. She's like a North Carolina white girl. I remember saying all that to her.

I was like, I know that I'm not any of those things. But I was like, if you're willing to like invest the time that like I have really some good qualities that I think that might amuse you. That might be good over the long term. And I remember her looking at me and like saying, is that, that's it? That's the best pickup.

That's your line. I'm like, but it's the truth. Isn't that worth something? The truth. And so that's what Red Helicopter is too. It's truthful. It's encouraging people to be honest. And I think that some people,

yeah, they may penalize you for that. And the answer to that is like, then you're hanging around with the wrong people. Yes, Amen to that. Oh my gosh, that is so good. I want to bring up, change something that I know you won't bring up, but I think is so incredible. And it's important to talk about, because this whole idea of giving back, including sharing, being this vulnerable leader and that it does deliver success. I want to talk a little bit about how Red Helicopter now isn't going to just be a book. Red Helicopter is going to have a run of success beyond what people are used to seeing with the book. It's a branded world.

It's a philosophy. So like I teach it at these schools. So I know to teach how to live like this, to fly like a helicopter, to be agile. So I'm teaching law, money, cognitive science, wellness, like in one spoonful. Like, you know what I mean? Like it's like, eat it. And then you eat all of it at the same time. It's like, oh yeah, that's cool. So that's agency. Over time, you'll see me teach it more on scale to young people and leaders. Anyone leads their life.

If you wanna lead your life, I'm for you. But if you don't wanna lead your life and you wanna sort of ride in someone else's life, call me when you wanna have agency, and I'll be there for you. So that's number one. Number two, yeah, there'll be a couple more books, kids' book, but I'll say it.

I think the fun part, the other thing, it's a community and a brand that symbolizes this way of living and trust, which will be in short supply. Do I think there's gonna be a feature length movie? Yeah, I do. And it's gonna be ridiculous. Because the story doesn't even have to be made up. And I'm gonna say something funny,

which I've never said publicly, it's just my inside voice. I've had conversations, and you know I have like an agent in Hollywood, which I'm like the least likely guy to have an agent in Hollywood, which ridiculous. I don't even know what to do with them. But I said, I want this story just like the book to be honest, really just like a flat story because it's so ridiculous that you don't have to like exaggerate it or anything. The only thing I want is that we talked a little bit that the protagonists are all women. There's three women of three different races and I'm like the bumbling idiot that these women in my life made me better. They made me think

and like behave better. But the small parts that I think that maybe if this gets made that I'm gonna be in, I want whoever plays me, the only requirement, I want him to be shredded. I don't mean fit. I mean shredded. Oh my gosh. I can't take it. You know, like I don't care. Like, yeah, I should care a little bit. But maybe he should look a little bit like me. But like, what's more important is just shredded. You got to have it. You're going to have to write that into your contract.

Yeah. And like, so there has to be one scene, like when in a boardroom or something, when he's stressed and like the financial model is not balancing and like, like tight shirt and like, wow, James shredded. I'm not shredded. For those of you who are listening,, James shredded. I'm not shredded. For those of you who are listening, like it's, I'm not. Like I'm easing into middle age pretty quickly. So yeah, I'm not that.

Anyway, I think that would be cool, right? Like, wow, that guy shredded. When I started podcasting, an online store was the furthest thing from my mind. Now I'm selling my group coaching on the regular and it is just so easy. All because I use Shopify. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business from the launch your online shop stage to the first real life store stage all the way to did we just hit a million order stage Shopify is there to help you grow whether you're selling scented soaps or offering outdoor outfits Shopify helps you sell everywhere from their

all in one e-commerce platform to their in-person POS system, wherever and whatever you're selling. Shopify has got you covered. Shopify helps you turn browsers into buyers with the internet's best converting checkout 36% better on average compared to other leading commerce platforms and sell more with less effort. Thanks to Shopify magic, your AI powered all star. I didn't know what I was going to do when I got fired. Launching my own business seems so intimidating. I didn't know how to set up a website and I really didn't need to. Shopify does it all for you and they make it so easy.

It was that breakthrough moment for me that I realized I can do this. I can go to work for myself. Thanks to Shopify. What I love about Shopify is you don't need to have all this technology information ready to, you don't need to know how to plan and run things. You just need to go to the platform, turn it on and know what you're selling and Shopify is going to help you figure out the rest. Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce in the US and Shopify is the

global force behind Allbirds, Rothies, and Brooklyn and millions of other entrepreneurs of every size across 175 countries including your girl right here. Plus Shopify's award-winning help is there to support your success every step of the way because businesses that grow grow with Shopify. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash Monahan, all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash Monahan now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash Monahan.

No matter what stage you're at, they're going to make it easy. How do stop losses work on Kraken? Let's say I have a birthday party on Wednesday night, but an important meeting Thursday morning. So sensible me, pre-book a taxi for 10pm with alerts. Voila, I won't be getting carried away and staying out till 2. That's Stop Loss Orders on Kraken, an easy way to plan ahead. Go to kraken.com and see what crypto can be. Not investment advice.

Crypto trading involves risk of loss. See kraken.com slash legal slash CA dash PRU dash disclaimer for info on Kraken's undertaking to register in Canada. Confidence claim. I asked you to try to find your passion. But the idea of a movie about the concept of Red Helicopter featuring and focusing on three women from different races, different backgrounds, but all that we're elevating and encouraging you and examples for you is such a beautiful thing.

I will be at that movie theater. You'll be at the premiere. I will be there and I will be cheering on whoever plays you, but more importantly, your mother, these women that you work with and your wife and the impact that they had. And it's, that's a beautiful, beautiful story. Because my whole career, if you think about it, is that my job, even in investing, is to find value where other people's don't see value. And I think it's fair to say that, you know, my mother, the women I worked with, my wife, all women,

the way things are sort of configured, the true value that women create in our society, it's not measured. It's not. Like, motherhood is not a measured economic GDP input. All the women in my public school in Long Island, I had the best teachers because many of them were women. They had a harder time getting a job not teaching in the 70s and 80s.

They were more limited opportunities. So I had hyper smart public school teachers. And look at all around the world right now. You have declining birth rates in certain pockets of, because it's not possible. Like a lot of women are saying, are you kidding me? Like you want me to do this and that and like, anyway, so one of the most important things I did at Ashley Stewart was, you know, I ran that company much more like it was like a country actually. So one of the things I noticed when I was CEO, you may think I was like, you know, obviously

I'm a quant guy, I'm looking at all the numbers, but I was looking at like, what's the problem here? And we didn't have a lot of new families being formed. There were very few babies. Because a lot of the women that were working at the company, they felt stressed about the viability of the company, the leave policies, the general environment. They didn't feel comfortable that maybe if they got pregnant or had to take leave that they would not get their job back.

There are many things to think about. And I said, oh, and we were not attracting like more youthful women because they thought the company was not viable or relevant anymore. And so I said, well, I think one of the goals, if we do this right to encourage family formation, it will lead to many really good things for us to change in this company. And so we started to have lots of kits. We had tons of births. And I always used to sort of just smile.

And like when, you know, Gina would always plan these surprise baby showers, which ended up not being a surprise anymore because they were like hyperplanned. I was like, this is really successful. And to do what we did, it required adjusting 20, 25 things just a little bit, to really listen to the moms and say, hey, they felt more confident in their company and their relationship in the company.

And they used to bring in their babies all the time which modern-day moms don't do as much anymore. I think old days people did and you show off your kid. We had tons of babies like strolling around the office and I just remember sitting there like looking around and feeling very content like I'm saying this is pretty freaking cool and some people may be listening may say oh oh, that's, you know, oh, that's not driving profit. Of course it's driving quote profit. We had very little turnover, you know, and like people really wanted to work there and and they gave us their best. And of course it was quote profitable. I mean, the customers feel that, like you said,

there's a lack of turnover, which is such a costly factor in any business, as well as they're the ones out there recruiting and advertising for you because everyone's talking about how much they love the company. Totally. It's so intuitive, right? It's like radical common sense. And that's why that red helicopter story for me, it's like, he doesn't have lunch, just give him some food.

It's like that old Aesop's fables, it's like one of my favorite stories. There's a kid drowning in a river, and there's an old man walking by, and he's like scolding the kid. He's like, you shouldn't have been walking close to the riverbank. And the kid in his last breath says,

you're right, sir, but would you mind saving me first, and then you can scold me?" And so it's like stuff like this. It's like we do a good job I think increasingly just like we like to yell at people and point at all the things that they've done wrong. And even this book, you know, in the beginning people wanted me to write a business book because that bio that you read like concretized, like they're like, you're going to write a business book.

I'm like, how do I make a lot of money in transformed companies and build brands? I'm like, yeah, I could, but I'd rather not write that book. I also would rather not write a book that says, here are all the reasons why you suck and here are the five things you can do to not suck. I was like, I don't wanna do that either. And so the tone of the book, and I think the way I try to live my life is like,

you know, you're doing pretty good. Trust your intuition more. I got your back. And by the way, after you feel like you're in a good place, here are three or four things that you should probably know how to do. You probably were never taught it in school. And no one else was.

So you don't have to pretend with me. Like it's okay. Like so I didn't know it either. And so here's what I learned. Maybe this will help you sort of like feel better and make feel more control of your life. And that's the tone of the book, but it's actually the tone of the way that I live my life

or lead a company or anything like that. And it's, I think people are made to feel bad. And I don't know why we do that. And I don't think good leaders do that. I really don't. Oh, I'm so with you. James, where can everyone find Red Helicopter and where can they find you? So I'm social media not good.

So there's redhelicopter.com is the website for the book and there's also original music on there. And the music is really cool because it conveys the whole book in music form. So I want to do a rock opera. That's sort of my big project. And then they can find me on LinkedIn. And then I am James Rhee on my really lame Instagram. And I'm really bad at it.

So I'm trying to start doing it. And I'm really bad. And that's really kind of it. I think, like, you know, I love to hear people's feedback on the book, and I'm asking people to sort of share if they feel comfortable at some point, like, what is your red helicopter story? Like, what is that for you, that North Star,

where you were kind of, like, at your best? It's that person. And I can sort of see down the road, like I wanna like create more short films about very quiet leaders and heroes. And my audience skews, like it's like 60, 70% women. That makes sense to me, right? And it's a lot of younger people

who are really scared about the world. And it's a lot of like, I find mother, son, mother, daughter combos that it's a lot of moms were a little bit worried about their sons. You know cuz they have a really good relationship with their sons or sons like emotionally available and fun and laugh and then. The moms and the sons are worried that paid when i go out and quote the real world does that all go away. And so i get that a lot in my inbox, like that duo. And the book is a lot about me and my mom. So like that makes sense to me too. Everyone's got a thirst, a drive to be the next big thing, to put the world on notice.

If you answer when your thirst calls, Sprites for you. Sprites for the makers and creators, the visionaries putting in the work to build their dreams. Whether you're shooting a cinematic masterpiece on your phone, filling notebooks with sketches, or up all night turning your bedroom into the booth, thirst is everything. Obey your thirst, Sprite. Well, everyone, Get The Red Helicopter.

It's an incredible book. It's a movement. This is changing lives everywhere. Well, everyone, get The Red Helicopter. It's an incredible book. It's a movement. This is changing lives everywhere. If you are someone who wants to learn to lead, who wants to lead their life and wants to have happiness and success and find a way doing it with kindness,

get Red Helicopter. Now, James, I am such a super fan of yours. I am so proud of the work that you're doing. I'm so grateful for you being here. Please continue to keep changing the world and let us know any way we can support you. I will. I've gotten a lot better asking for help.

I definitely will. So help me with my Instagram. It sucks. I'm here for it. We're here for you. Guys, until next week, go get the red helicopter. You know that we've got it right here. And I can't wait to hear what you think of it.

Until next week, keep creating your confidence We'll see you then Hi, I'm here to tell you about a new podcast that I am so excited about, Negotiate Your Best Life. Hosted by Rebecca Zung, a part of the YAP Media Network. As a globally renowned narcissist negotiation expert and an attorney recognized by US News as a best lawyer in America, Rebecca shares her invaluable insights and strategies for navigating life's toughest negotiations. By drawing from her own experiences and the wisdom of her high profile guests such as

Bob Proctor, Mark Victor Hansen, John Gordon, and Rebecca delivers empowering advice that will inspire you to reclaim control of your life. Negotiate Your Best Life is all about how to negotiate your way to greatness. She provides practical guidance on how to break free from toxic relationships, stand up against injustice, and transform chaos into freedom, possibility, and purpose. Many times the first negotiation you do is with your own in the morning. In the morning is when you wake up

and that's when negotiate your best life is time for you. It's about to find your way to greatness, conquering obstacles and creating the life you truly deserve. Get ready to slay, thrive, and unlock your full potential. Don't believe me? I'm gonna go ahead and share some of the reviews that are out there so you can hear and you can believe too.

You have helped me so much these last few weeks. I was with a narcissist for two years. She drove me to the point I wanted to take my own life. Listening to you has made a massive difference and now I know what I'm with. Thank you, Rebecca. Now the recovery. Thank you for gifting the knowledge to believe in myself again. You have unknowingly helped me legally represent myself through criminal,

federal, and civil court proceedings with a narcissist. There would be so many people around the world that you're helping without even knowing like me. You saved my life. Emma, 35 years old, Australia. If you are ready to stand up against injustice and transform the chaos in your life into freedom, possibility and purpose, then check out Negotiate Your Best Life now. Subscribe to Negotiate Your Best Life with Rebecca Zung on Apple Podcasts, Spotify or your favorite podcast platform. This episode is brought to you by the Yap Media Podcast Network. I'm Hala Taha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire, Yap Media, and host of Yap Young

and Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On Young and Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week we dive into a new topic like the art of side hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion

and goal setting. I interview a list guests on Young and Profiting. I've got the best guests, like the world's number one negotiation expert, Chris Voss, shark Damon John, serial entrepreneurs, Alex and Leila Hermosy, and even movie stars like Matthew McConaughey. There's absolutely no fluff on my podcast and that's on purpose. Every episode is jam-packed with advice that's going to push your life forward. I do my research,

I get straight to the point, and I take things really seriously, which is why I'm known as the podcast princess and how I became one of the top podcasters in the world in less than five years. Young and Profiting Podcast is for all ages. Don't let the name fool you, it's an advanced show. As long as you want to learn and level up, you will be forever young. So join Podcast Royalty and subscribe to Young and Profiting Podcast or YAP like it's often called by my YAP fam on Apple, Spotify, Castbox or wherever you listen to your podcasts.