Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #441: Let Your FREAK FLAG Fly With Heather!

Episode Date: July 3, 2024

The biggest stages in the world are waiting to welcome you. Are you ready to take the stage? Let me teach you how…. Join The Elite Mastermind with me! There are only 4 seats available. Link here: https://heathermonahan.com/the-elite-mastermind/ In This Episode You Will Learn About:  How unexpected blessings can transform your life Ways embracing authenticity can lead to success in life and business How stepping out of your comfort zone can UNLOCK personal growth Ways to empower YOURSELF and promote positivity Resources: Get 15% off by using code CONFIDENCE at LolaVie.com. Call my digital clone at 201-897-2553!  Visit heathermonahan.com Reach out to me on Instagram & LinkedIn Sign up for my mailing list: heathermonahan.com/mailing-list/  Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  When is the last time you let your FREAK FLAG fly? I’ve been reflecting on this amazing message from Pastor Rich Wilkerson Jr. at VOUS Church about the power of miracles and faith. Seriously, it hit me hard. One big takeaway for me is the importance of being AUTHENTIC. When we show up as our true selves, we give ourselves permission to shine and inspire others to do the same. When we EMBRACE our uniqueness, stand out, and proudly wave our freak flag, we attract the right people and opportunities that truly resonate with us. Tune out the naysayers and negative voices. Just because someone's in your circle does NOT mean they are in your corner. Together, we can inspire and empower each other to embrace our uniqueness and create a brighter, more authentic future!

When I started podcasting, an online store was the furthest thing from my mind. Now I'm selling my group coaching on the regular and it is just so easy. All because I use Shopify. Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, you're going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week.

Okay, so I was in church last night and I love the message that our pastor had for us. Wanted to share it with you. Again, it's VU Church, Rich Wilkerson Jr. You can find them on YouTube, on Instagram. I mean, everywhere, you can Google them. You can watch all of the sermons online. So don't feel like you have to miss out. If you don't live in Miami,

you can definitely get all the information that you need and replays and it's so good. It's so, so good. Okay, so last night, it was interesting. He was talking a lot about miracles and how miracles can happen suddenly, right? And he was quoting and reading scripture right from the Bible. Okay, my voice is not the best day. I still have a little bit of a cold.

Gosh, it is not easy when you're a podcast host and a speaker and you have problems with your throat. Can we just put that out there? Okay, first world problems. So here's the thing is that he was talking about how miracles can happen suddenly when you least expect it, right? You can pray for something for so long and just not understand why it's not happening and then miraculously, literally, instantly just happen suddenly. And so he was talking a lot about that and relevant to his wife is now pregnant at 40 when they

had struggled for over a decade trying to get pregnant and having to go to doctors and do so many different things. And then miraculously this time she just is pregnant without even trying. So you just never know what the future may hold. And this is why don't lose your faith. The best is yet to come. You've got to stay open to this idea that there is something incredible about to happen for you, right?

This idea and this belief that miracles do happen. They happen every day. And why wouldn't they happen for you? And I'm seeing them unfold in real time, not only in my own life, but also in church and through our pastor and hearing these messages and it's so encouraging. It just reminds me who you listen to impacts how you feel

and what your thoughts are every day. Tune out naysayers, get away from negative people and instead step into people that encourage you, step into people that amplify you, cheer you on and lift you up. Not only will it help you have a better mindset and approach each day, but it will truly over time change what you believe, what you think, and then ultimately what you do and who you are. So I am so here for that. Okay, so to that end, I want to talk a little bit about some of the things my pastor

was talking about. And just it was a talking about. It was a powerful message. It was a powerful message for me, so I hope it is for you. But again, you can watch it on replay on YouTube. So he was talking a little bit about how we have worship music in our Christian church, right? And so if you haven't been to a Christian church before, it is a party. Well, this one is. Boo is.

I mean, maybe not all of them, but most of them are, I think. So it's not like a traditional Catholic church, which is, you know, very calm and the priest speaking. This is literally a party with people going crazy, arms up in the air, the best singers in the world are there. And it's just, it's so fun. And the worship music portion of Mass is so powerful. Obviously so is scripture, so is our pastor, but it's just such an encouraging, uplifting experience being able to worship God through music and have everyone in unison together. It's so powerful.

Every single time I get the chills, oftentimes I cry. It's like a very moving experience. If you've never experienced it, oh my gosh, you need to. I so want you to. It's just, it's such a beautiful positive experience and it's all about, you know, what would Jesus do and thank you Jesus and thank you for loving me and it's such a good message, right? There's nothing bad about it. It's just positive, it's just about love, it's about gratitude, just being so grateful and so thankful for Jesus, for God, for community, for the ability to praise and worship God. Hey Creating Confidence listeners! This episode is proudly brought to you by Lola V, an award-winning

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promo code CONFIDENCE. Please note, you can only use one promo code per order and discounts can't be combined. After your purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support the show and tell them we sent you. Your hair will thank you. Okay, so to that end, he was talking about how some people in any situation, right, you're gonna have people that are how I am right now about the and about the Christian community. I'm like singing it from the moons and the mountaintops and like want everybody to be on, you know, to give it a shot. And then there's also people that maybe they're new to it and so they're not as on board. Maybe they're kind of throwing shade a little,

which happens sometimes when something's new and different, right? So, and again, I'm trying to have empathy for those people that look around and say, oh, this isn't for me. This is weird. It's different, right? Like, and forget the context for a moment about church, but we could feel that way if like we go to a new workout, right? Like if you've been doing spin, like I do all the time, and then suddenly you go to a boot camp, you're like, wait a minute, why do we have to do this?

This is dangerous. This isn't a good idea, right? Like just it's very normal that our mind goes to why this it's new, it's different. Maybe that means it's bad. Right. I think that's very normal for a lot of us. And we have to override it because the only way we get better, the only way we grow and evolve is by exposing ourselves to new and different things. Right. And so it's really

important that we allow ourselves to have new and different experiences, allow ourselves to be, to feel uncomfortable, right? Because that means we are in a growth phase and that means it's something to celebrate. So to his point, the pastor's point was that people that come to our church for the first time sometimes could be turned off by the amount of worship music we have, people jumping up and down. Here's what I really liked that he said, and I do agree with him, that's a fair point,

that we all feel a little uncomfortable at first in new environments, and it takes a little bit of time till we start to realize, oh, this isn't so bad, or this actually is really good. So his point was this, that we can choose to be intimidated with them. Meaning he says you could keep your hands down low when you're worshiping God and just say, like, I'm not going to elevate my arms right now, because it does feel a

little weird for these other people. And maybe it's uncomfortable for everyone. And maybe I'll just kind of play it low. Or he said, you can really start to elevate your arms because you know that this is a positive thing. You know that there's nothing to feel ashamed of. You know that praising Jesus is a positive thing and a good thing and within you,

you wanna bring that forward. Here's what happens, here's the domino effect when you do that. So what he's saying is like, basically step into who you are and what works for you. Don't be so concerned with what Joe and Sam are thinking to your left and right. Focus on you and your relationship with God and what feels good for you and elevate your arms. And maybe when you elevate your arms, you start jumping up and down a little bit and bop into the music and like really getting

into the worship. And maybe when you do that, you just gave permission to everybody in your row to do the same. Maybe they were feeling that same way. They were feeling a little intimidated. They were feeling a little uneasy. But when they saw you do it, it gave them permission to do it too. And so I just thought about that. What a great example.

I hadn't been thinking of it that way. And I totally get his point. Sometimes you'll see people look at you like you're a little crazy because you know you're getting into something in such a big way and you're so hyped for it but maybe that's what's really being a leader is all about right maybe you're leading that row at church maybe you're giving everyone there in that moment permission to be who they are and to let go of concerns of what anyone else thinks. Number one, it's so true, right?

True leadership is about owning who you are and stepping into it regardless of what anyone else thinks. And when you do that, that domino effect is you give everyone around you permission to do the same, to fly their freak flag, to show up as that powerful version of them, to jump up and down, to raise and elevate their arms, and to do it without shame and without concern for what anyone else thinks. I love that. I love the message. It was such a great reminder. And it made me think back to corporate America, right? Like when I was coming up through the ranks, starting in sales, and then getting into sales leadership, and then a vice president, executive vice president, chief revenue officer.

Every time I made a jump, it had to be with this attitude of, I don't know what's ahead of me. I'm sure it's going to be uncomfortable. I'm sure there's going to be growth. I'm sure there's going to be uncertainty because it's something new. That is normal. And I'm just going to take a leap of faith and better myself. And when I do it, I'm going gonna show others what's possible for them. So that's what I want you to

think about today is that when you show up as that real authentic version of you whatever that looks like if it's you jumping up and down at church and raising the roof and praising Jesus or if it's you going to work today and saying I'm gonna fly my freak flag and you know wear my crazy earrings because it feels good to me to wear my crazy earrings, right? Like whatever it may be for you small big or indifferent when you do that You're giving others permission to do the same for them So too often in our world people want to look down on others and throw shade at them. That's about them

It's not about you Instead why not be a difference maker that's giving everybody permission to be themselves? We live in this world that everybody talks about. We want everyone to be equal and equality and unique and different and rock that uniqueness of yourself. No permission necessary, just show up and do it.

And the more we step into that, the more we attract the right people to us relationships business partnerships clients Everything right and I look back to those days when I wasn't showing up as that real version myself Not only was I not giving others permission to do it for them I was dialing my light down when I did that I attracted the wrong romantic relationships I attracted the wrong business partnerships the wrong Business friendships the wrong clients everything right?

So the more you step into not only giving yourself permission to fly your freak flag to Elevate your arms and jump up and down and worship the way you want Not only do you do it for you, which means in turn you attract the right people to you? do do it for you, which means in turn you attract the right people to you, but then that domino effect occurs and you give everybody around you permission to do the same and fly their freak flag the way they see fit. So if you can't do it for you today, do it for those around you. But I can tell you this, after our pastor's message yesterday, I elevated my arms all the way and was jumping up and down.

And I was just so hyped for it because not only for myself, but to think, gosh, maybe I have a chance to impact one person around me. And if I do and can give them permission, that's all worth it. So to the opposite end of that, yesterday, or maybe it was two days ago on LinkedIn, if you're not following me on LinkedIn,

please follow at Heather Monahan. I post so much on there. And yes, I have a social media team, but I also, this morning I went on and posted a newsletter. Last night I was on posting a post myself, right? Like I also just, when I feel called to do it, I just go on LinkedIn all the time and post. I don't do that on Instagram.

I do it on my Instagram stories, but not on my Instagram feed because the feed is, you know, a whole other thing. But anyhow, so follow me on LinkedIn, follow me on Instagram. you can catch my stories. I'm posting those live all the time and on LinkedIn, always posting content. So I had posted over the weekend,

last week I posted a picture of me and a really good friend of mine, Iman. She's an incredible tech founder, startup founder, AI expert. She's brilliant, great friend of mine for years. And she also happens to be incredibly beautiful. So whenever I post a picture of her and I, I get so many DMs behaving as though it's like a dating site instead of a business platform. Now that happens on Instagram and Facebook, Twitter, you know, other

platforms. But to me it's just really, really wrong on LinkedIn because LinkedIn is a place for business, right? And I just, I don't know, I'm so interested in your thoughts on this. So please DM me, hit me up on LinkedIn, on Instagram, or my website, heathermonahan.com. I wanna hear what you think about this. But I just find it, I don't think it's appropriate, right?

Like if this is a place to get business done, play between the lines. If you want to DM someone that you think they're attractive, go on a dating website and try to look for them and find them. Right? Like this is not a mystery. The way people date these days is not the way they used to when I was the OG. Right?

And oh my gosh, I have so many stories around that. We will not get into that today. But I do want you to know that it's not a mystery how to find somebody if you're looking to find them. Go to a dating website. I told everyone on LinkedIn, here's the thing. LinkedIn is a place for business to get done. Please respect that this is a business platform. If you're looking to date people, download the app, The League. Best of luck to you in your dating endeavors. Go look for people there. Go look to find people there. However,

if you're on LinkedIn, this is where business gets done. We are selling and promoting our products. We are building personal brands. We are moving opportunities in business forward to help elevate and encourage others to drive revenue. We are all in for-profit businesses. Allow and respect that. And if you want instead to be dating people,

please move it over to a dating platform. Anyhow, I posted that. And this is not surprising. Posted incredibly well, right? Because here's the thing. When you speak about anything somewhat controversial, there's a very good chance that that post will do very, very well. So this posted really well.

It had, I don't know, 130,000 people on the post in 24 hours. And the funny thing was, and I didn't go through all the comments, I went through a lot though, because I knew, I was super interested, right? I was just curious, like what people were gonna say, because I knew it was a little controversial. Here's the crazy thing.

Well, maybe it's not crazy, because I did a TED talk about this. The only negative responses came from two women. Two women, not from men. Nope. Actually men were super supportive and were like, you know what, this is so crazy that this still goes on on a business platform. Sorry you have to deal with that. Good reminder guys that if you want to date these people, go search for them on dating platforms. Like great advice. Thanks for pointing this out. Didn't know you had to

deal with this. Then some men were saying, yes I have to deal with this too. It's so ridiculous. Right. So there were some really good banter around being professional in any work environment and what that looks like. Then a lot of people are sharing their struggles and some of the crazy comments they've received. Americans spend an average of 90% of their time indoors and take about 20,000 breaths a day. According to the EPA, indoor air is two to five times more polluted than outdoor air and in some cases up to a hundred times more polluted. Data shows that air pollution

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made over $7 billion. Get your free 30 day trial now and start your business at kajabi.com slash confidence. One that put me over the edge was, I have to share this. Someone that doesn't know me messaged me on LinkedIn. I could see the person had been messaging me for over, it looked like two years. I'd never responded once. And even the platform said, I think some of these comments could be harmful. The most recent one was, hey, Heather, I think you're single.

Can I please take you to the bad Boys movie at Cinnapopolis or like some crappy movie theater? And here's what's so crazy is that I laughed so hard when I saw it. Like does that person really think I'm gonna respond? Like yeah, hey don't know you, have no idea who you are. I'm on LinkedIn working right now, but love the idea that you wanna take me to Bad Boys.

Okay, so PS, number one, the person I always go to the movies with is my son. He has not been going to movies with me much, and this is what's really funny. Whatever week it was that bad boys came on, I made him go to the movies with me. So I'd already seen the movie, buddy. Okay, so you're out. There's zero chance, but the guy would have been out. Anyway, I just thought the whole thing was funny, but also crazy that I'm having to see a message like that on LinkedIn.

So I posted about it. The only people that were negative were two women. And one was like, you're using this as an opportunity to get more eyeballs on your feed. Well, a little bit, of course, like anything I post is to get eyeballs on my feed because I want to sell my products. I want to sell my books. I want to get people drive people to the podcast. I want to get hired products, I want to sell my books, I want to get people, drive people to the podcast, I want to get hired for more speaking engagements, I want to land

more board seats and I want to close more people from my mastermind. Yeah, no mystery there. Go to my feed and you'll see, right? Like, again, it's LinkedIn, a place where business gets done, products are sold, products and services are sold. So yeah, anything I post is to get more eyeballs on my feed, but also I'm addressing something that doesn't get addressed on the feed that I believe should be. And by the way, it's my feed. That was the other thing that I reminded myself of

when I saw both these women that were attacking me saying that I don't dress appropriately for the platform, which I think is hilarious. If I want to wear a pink dress, I'm wearing a pink dress and I don't feel bad about it. For years in corporate America, I felt I beat myself up about it. I felt bad about it. I would get yelled at by this woman that worked side by side with me for years. She would tell me I didn't wear my hair appropriately.

I didn't dress appropriately. And for a long time, I adhered to her feelings and her conditions and her, you know, idea of what works and what doesn't. I'm 49 years old. I adhere to me, and I encourage you to do the same, and I give myself permission to be who I am. So I kind of laughed when I saw this lady crushing on me for my outfit, and at first I just left both very similar comments, right, just

basically saying that it's my own fault, that because of the way I dress I attract these people to me. And then the irony is they were trying to connect with me as to become first connections. So I, once I saw that, at first I was just going to leave their comments up, you know, I don't care. But then I saw people started jumping on and attacking them. So, and then I saw that they were trying to connect with me, which is ridiculous. Don't try to trash me on my feed. It's my feed, right? Like this is my feed. Thank you. I created it. I curated it. These 300,000 people on it are my peeps, my community. We've been riding together for a while.

I don't need haters to come into my space. Just because someone's in your circle does not mean they are in your corner. So I fire the villains immediately, blocked and blocked, disregarded their connection requests, and I actually deleted them from the feed because again, for years, I worked side-side with people that couldn't stand me I'm over that now like I'm beyond that

You don't need to be on my page if you don't like me keep it moving and go on your page Keep it moving and go on someone's page you'd like but I'm here in this world to bring positivity forward I'm here to encourage others and I don't want negativity and fighting on my feed or in my life It's not my vibe and I highly encourage you to do the same. Fire the villains. And if you haven't, check out my book, Overcome Your Villains, a three-step process to overcome any adversity. Okay, so that was the message today that I wanted to share with you. And two, I just want to share one last time. This is the last time you can apply for my mastermind. I am, does not look

like I'm doing it ever again. Things are picking up in a very big way with speaking for me. So this will be the last one year program. If you want to work with me all year long, be a part of an incredible team that is challenging and pushing you to go to the next level. I'm going to share how I wrote my books, how I launched my podcast, how I landed my TEDx talk, how I was named a top 50 keynote speaker, how I landed leap in Saudi Arabia. And by the way, just got hired back to come back again in 2025. How I landed Tony Robbins stage two weeks ago, right? Like all, I'm going to teach everything that I've learned. I'm going to bring all the experts in from my life so they can share expertise with you.

I'm going to share all of my vendors. I'm going to give you basically the cheat sheet to what I'm doing, who I'm working with so that you can do the same If it's what you want to do if you've got a message that you feel like should be amplified Click the link in the show notes below. It's the last chance to join my mastermind I've got four spots left. Don't snooze when you snooze you lose and Not making a decision is a decision and don't forget that and that's just in life too in general Not making a decision is a decision. And it's the worst one you could make.

Get intentional, get clear what it is that you want, and then take direct messy action to just go for it. Okay, this is your girl, Heather, signing off for reminding you to keep creating your confidence. I'll see you next week. I'm gonna make a move again. I decided to change that dynamic.

I did my best. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear. This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network. I'm Hala Taha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire YAP Media and host of YAP Young and Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On Young and Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week we dive into a new topic like the art of side hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion,

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