Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #442: The Secret To Selling Anyone with Jordan Montgomery, Author, Speaker, Performance Coach, Founder, & CEO

Episode Date: July 9, 2024

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  How a public shout-out makes a difference Why LOVE is such a POWERFUL form of encouragement Why you should acknowledge the WHO over the DO How encouragement sparks positive changes Steps you should take to practice GENUINE encouragement Resources: Website: www.montgomerycompanies.com Listen to The Montgomery Companies Podcast Sign Up for the Webinar & Pre-Order the Book The Art of Encouragement: How to Lead Teams, Spread Love, and Serve from the Heart Email: [e-mail]  LinkedIn & Instagram: @jordanmontgomery Facebook: @MontgomeryCompanies  Twitter: @JMMontgomeryCo Get 15% off by using code CONFIDENCE at LolaVie.com  Get the free, on-demand video training at circuitsalessystem.com/confidence Visit heathermonahan.com Reach out to me on Instagram & LinkedIn Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  Show Notes:  How did you feel the last time someone publicly acknowledged you? In my latest chat with Jordan Montgomery, the amazing speaker and author of 'The Art of Encouragement,' we dove into the power of REAL, genuine encouragement. Jordan showed how celebrating people for who they are, not just what they do, can create meaningful connections that impact our personal and professional lives. In a world craving authenticity, encouragement needs a story! It’s about VALUING people for their character and lifting them up with specific examples. So, embrace the art of encouragement, step boldly into your journey, and become a living, breathing commercial for others. If You Liked This Episode You Might Also Like These Episodes: #409: Why Fear Is a Greenlight That Says GO: Day 1 In Saudi Arabia With Heather! #359: UNLOCK Your Wealth & Own Your Worth with Lisa Wang, U.S National Champion Gymnast & CEO of Bad Bitch Empire #360: The Simple Hack To Boost Your Confidence & Productivity With Heather!

When I started podcasting, an online store was the furthest thing from my mind. Now I'm selling my group coaching on the regular and it is just so easy. All because I use Shopify. If you praise someone in private, they might remember it. If you praise them in public, they'll never forget it. This is true for all of us, right? Like there's something different when you have the proverbial microphone, whether it's an actual microphone and you're a speaker like Heather or you're leading a meeting

or you're just sitting with a few friends. When you take the time to publicly acknowledge people and help them to feel seen in front of others, it changes the relationship and it certainly makes them feel seen and known in a different way. I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me,

you're going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay. It's so rare that I have a guest on multiple times. This young man has been on multiple times. He's my friend.

So first of all, I very rarely have friends on by the way, but this is a friend from business. So he's gonna drop some business wisdom on you today. He's actually got a new book that's out that I'm so hyped about. I'm so proud of you, Jordan, for doing this. But first I just wanted to let you know, Jordan Montgomery, you've met him before.

I think he's been on the show twice now. So you've heard his story. You've met him before. I think he's been on the show twice now So you've heard his story you've heard about his incredible success his rebound from challenging times And I just want to say now today we're gonna know him as an author So Jordan, thank you so much for being here with us today. Heather. Thank you for having me Thanks for your friendship your support. You are just one of the most loyal advocates. Yeah, I think loyalty is a Pillar in your life. It's one of the things I think about when I think about you and how you treat people.

And so just appreciate the ways in which you've supported me and my wife, Ashley, and our family. And it's an honor to be back with you. So thanks for having me. Oh my gosh, you're the best. Okay, so, and no, we're not related. People are gonna see us and think we're brother and sister. People have asked me that before.

I'm the better looking older sibling. Hey, we both have the M.O.N. though in our last name. So we got that. Onaham Montgomery. We're in lockstep, you and me. Okay. So first of all, I'm super proud of you because for anyone listening, writing a book is a big deal. You've got a huge family. You're a very devoted husband and father. You run an incredible business, but writing a book, how did you even find the time to do this? Was it as hard as I think it is? Well, it was my first book, as you know, so I'm a rookie, Heather's the veteran, I'm an amateur, it's our first book. Yeah, it was a two year process, it took longer than it

probably should have, but it was important to us that it was done well. And yeah, you know, you get feedback from people close to you, and we tried to pick a topic that was really meaningful and authentic to who I am and the things people close to you. And we tried to pick a topic that was really meaningful and authentic to who I am and the things that we believe in. And so proud to say that July 23rd, the book drops. And because of great people like you, we're able to get it in the hands of many, which is exciting. Well, I mean, I was really impressed

that you had John Maxwell write the forward. How did you make that happen? We have a mutual friend named Chad Johnson, who's chief of staff with John Maxwell. Chad's become one of my closest friends and John's become a dear mentor and friend. And we're actually doing a book launch event with John. You've always wanted a reason, Heather, to come to the great state of Iowa. And you keep asking me like, how do I get into Iowa? How do I come to Iowa? So this is an excuse for you and the many people who want to visit Iowa to come August 23rd. We've got a book launch

webinar with John. So John and I will both be speaking alongside Lisa Bluter, who is the just recently retired head coach of the Iowa women's basketball team. Took that team to two back to back championship appearances. They didn't win. They were runner up. But yeah, you know, John's just become a friend via Chad. And it was an honor that he wrote the forward. Well, I want to just say the only way I even am in the Maxwell sphere is because of Jordan. So Jordan, thank you for introducing me to him and getting him on the show and bringing him into my life because he's just such a godsend. But one of the things for everyone listening right now

that I know people hear me say like, oh, I was with this person or this celebrity or whatever. Jordan is as dialed in as I am to anybody and everybody. However, the way that you go about it is so different than the way that I approach it. And I just want you to share a little bit about how you make these connections, because I've never seen someone do it from such a standpoint of service and serving others. Well, at the end of the day, I think all of life is service, all of relationships are service, you know, and I think you do that. I think we actually view it the same way. Maybe you have a different spin on it, but you've added more value to my life than just

about anybody I've been around, like your encouragement, your connections, your positivity, your belief in me. So I think you're actually really good at this. And I think we probably see it more similar than we do different, but at the end of the day I just believe adding value to others. Like if you wanna be a connected person, be a connecting person. Connecting people are connected people

and connected people are connecting people. So you wanna get more connected, start connecting. The gift of a relationship is one of the greatest gifts that you could give another human. You are a masterful connector. You deposit belief. Again, if you want people to believe in you, then you got to believe in others. If you want to be encouraged, you got to be encouraging. So I had a mentor, he said the world is a looking glass and it gives back to each person a reflection of their own image. And so if we want to live in the land of abundance and

opportunity, then we got to give that to others. And you've done that. I think I've attempted to do that. I hope someone would say that that's been part of my story and my life. And there's probably more that I could do, but that's been our model toward building relationships is just adding value. Well, it pays massive dividends and I love watching it because I feel like so often people online will talk a good game, right? Like, oh,

yeah, you know, oh, I love giving back and serving others. Like it's sort of this popular pop culture thing, but it is not always that way. And you actually, when you get to know people, you see real quickly, like, this person's always asking, always taking. And even if it's just from a standpoint, like you said, maybe you're introducing someone to somebody else. Maybe you're just believing in somebody else. Maybe you're just believing in somebody else. Maybe you're encouraging someone else. There's so many different ways to do it, but it is not that often that I see someone is genuine to that.

So that's why I'm so glad that you wrote this book, The Art of Encouragement, How to Lead Team Spread Love and Serve from the Heart, because you are living it. So let's get into the book. Number one, I want everybody to learn from your teachings. But number two, I also obviously want them to go buy this book because it's a game changer and it will make the world a better place. And I truly believe that's why we're all here. So let's get into a little bit about the art of encouragement. I wrote the book for two reasons. I keep getting this question. People are like, why did you write the book? Why, why encouragement as a topic? And

I would say two things, Heather. One is I believe it speaks to our most basic psychological need as humans. And that's the need to be known. So just they need to be seen and known. I think we all want to be valued. We all want to be understood. We want to know. I want to know that my life matters. It has a purpose. I belong to something.

And I think every reader for any person, whether you're leading in the home, leading in the community, leading at work, I think it has application because that's true of every person that we want to be known and seen. Number two though is I think we overestimate our ability to make people feel that way. Like so many of us see encouragement as either a do-don't topic, like I am an encourager or I'm not an encourager, or I encourage others or I'm not really an encourager of others. That's not really my style. That's not part of who I am.

But here's what I'd say about encouragement. We all speak the language. We all understand it and we can all speak it. It's a universal language that every single person understands. The other thing about it though is there's an art and a science to it. You're a world-class encourager and it comes natural to you. So you don't even probably pay attention to the nuance of how you do this. But there's a lot of nuance to do it authentically, consistently, and in an engaging way. And I think for so many of us that we just believe it's like

a do-don't. It's like I am or I'm not. It's something I do or something I don't. I don't really think about it beyond that. But I think it's actually pretty complex. We don't have all the answers. I've just been fortunate to be around people like you, so many leaders who are really gifted at it, that we've started to make some observations about like how it really works. And if you spend time with world-class encouragers,

what you find is there's 10 arts in the book. They embody these 10 arts of encouraging other people. So one of the things that people are going to say is how do you get around encouraging people? I know that people will say like, I don't have those people in my world or like, how do you even find those people? I truly believe it's as simple as like, if you want to be encouraged, you got to encourage others. So like, if you want to build relationships, you want to become a connected person, you got to connect people, You got to be a connecting person. So many people want to be connected.

That's a big question, right? It's like, well, I want to be connected. I want to have more relationships. Well, great, start connecting. We work with a lot of financial advisors, real estate agents, mortgage lenders. So many of those folks track the referrals that they get, but they don't track the referrals that they give.

Oh, that's so true. What if we just became obsessed with the idea of adding value and connecting people and making a place for people and helping people to feel known, seen, and understood? Then I think naturally you build great relationships and you help other people feel encouraged. The greatest part about that is it bounces back. You'll live in a world where you feel more encouraged and you also feel more connected. If creating content is more than just a passion project for you, it's time to make your passion profitable with Kajabi.

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So what are some of the hacks or what are some of the strategies people can deploy in their life so that they can track the referrals that they're giving, not getting? All right. So there's some things that we write about in the book in the form of arts. Chapter one is the art of character encouragement. I believe this, Heather, I think our culture has a do problem. We celebrate the do instead of celebrating the who. What I mean by that is we praise the result.

We spend a lot of time on what people accomplish when it comes to encouragement and not enough time on who people are. So we'll do it this way. I could say to Heather Monahan, Heather, I'm so impressed with all that you've done. You've written bestselling books, you're a top keynote speaker, you know all these wonderful people, you've got this amazing podcast. I don't know how you keep it all together. And you're a mom and you're a rock star, community leader. I'm just really impressed with all that you're doing and I how you keep it all together. And you're a mom and you're a rock star, like community leader. I'm just really impressed with all that you're doing. And I hope you keep it up. Right.

So I can say something like that to you. And I hope that you would receive it and be encouraged. You'd be like, hey, I appreciate that. But it wouldn't mean as much as if I said, Heather, I believe one of the things that makes you great, part of who God made you to be, is you are a really intuitive and discerning person. Meaning, you read things about people and see things in people that other people don't see.

And I think you know this, this is a God-given gift. God gave this to Heather Monaghan. Heather is intuitive and discerning. You can just read a situation, read a room, read people, see somebody's hurting or see that somebody has a real gift. And then you can help them bring that gift to life or conversely meet them in this dark and hard place. And you've done that for me on both occasions. So that's part of who you are. That's a gift that you have. It's supernatural to you and you have it in spades. I actually think it's your gift of

intuition and discernment. It's who you are that's allowed you to do what you do. The reason you have these great relationships, the reason you can lead at the highest level is because you have more talent in your pinky finger than most people do in their body. And that's just true about you. So I don't know which one of those would mean more to you, but my guess is the conversation about who you are and the gifts that you have means a whole lot more than the results that you drive. Our culture though, doesn't operate that way.

Our culture says, oh, great week, great sale, great book, great talk. And it stops there. And it's like, well, that has nothing to do with who someone is. That simply has to do with their result. One other quick story on that, Heather, there's a NFL player that we coach, Pearl Bowler, one of the top players in his position in the history of the NFL. And two years ago, he called me and he sideways about an article that he read related to his performance. And this article was suggesting that he is kind of past his prime, like his best days are behind him. Okay. So he said, he calls me and he's like, man, I usually do pretty good

about this, but I just stumbled into this thing on social media. I'm usually off of social media during the season. But I bumped into this article and I am really struggling. Like basically says like, my best days are behind me. And to be clear, it wasn't just impacting him as a football player. It was impacting him as a human. Like I could feel it, you know? And he's like, I've just been really down and out the past couple of days.

So I just said, hey, man, can we talk through that? Are you OK if I just speak into that? He's like, yeah, that's why I called. So I just said, hey, you are a great football player. Five-time pro bowler, consensus All-American in college, former first round draft pick, you're on a max contract, you're going to make $200 million playing the game of football. Man, you've done a lot, and that's awesome. But it has nothing to do with the greatest reason that I appreciate you and admire you. I actually think the greatest

thing about you is your big heart for people. I said, Brandon, you're one of the most caring people I've ever been around. You have a heart for the least of these and you treat every single person the same. That's why you've been named captain two different times. That's why you have three beautiful children that you have a great relationship with. That's why your wife adores you. It's why I love you. Like, man, you have a heart for others that just beats out of your chest. Like, dude, God gave you a supernatural level of care for other human beings that most people don't have. It's who you are is part of who God made you. I believe who you are has allowed you to do what you do. And yes, you're 6'5 and 310 pounds and athletic free.

That's also true, but you can't be at the level you're at without being a really, really good human with some supernatural gifts. And so who you are matters more than what you do. Athletes struggle with this so much, they have identity crisis because people fall in love with what they do without knowing who they are. So the point is this Heather for our listeners,

whether you're in the boardroom, the locker room, the family room, like pulling people aside to talk about their character traits, their qualities and their gifts, who they are will always mean more than talking about their achievement, accomplishment or results, what they do. We say it like this, the who has to be over the do.

So that's the art of character encouragement. And for somebody listening, I know that's really foundational and simple, but I'm amazed at how often I miss it and how often leaders miss it in everyday life. I missed it. Cause I mean, it's like a revelation right now that you just explained that.

So thank you. But this is such a like real time example of this week for me. I was on Tony Robbins stage, which I'm sure you heard about, right? A million other people heard about it too. Do you know, Jordan, how many text messages I got this week? Thousands, right? Like, but it was people I don't talk to, like people, and it meant nothing. It meant so little to me that I was getting these messages from random people saying, I saw Tony Robbins' stage. However, like what you just said to me, someone who's actually thoughtful saying to me, this is who you are and I see you, not on Tony Robbins' stage.

Yeah, it's great. Whatever. But like, it felt empty. It felt empty. I didn't even like respond to most of them because I just thought like, this is such a weak grab at like just wanting to get in on some it just it didn't land in my heart at all versus the words that you just spoke to me about really knowing me. It's so incredibly different. I think people get caught up in the allure of success, right? Like, you know, Tony

Robbins, and you're on that stage and that's amazing and great job, Heather. And to your point, that can feel a little hollow. And the reason it feels hollow is on the other end of it, that does nothing to make you feel known. And you're like, well, but if you really knew me, you would know that I'm a mom and I'm a friend and I have a heart for people and I'm caring and compassionate. And so, you know, I just think for all of us, it's a good reminder that when you pull somebody aside to dig in and go deeper, it just means more. Because if somebody would have said, hey, Heather, like I should have said, I didn't text you, forgive me. I saw the post and I'm super proud.

No, I'm glad you didn't. I didn't want one more crazy freaking message this week. It was so insane. But if somebody would have said like, Heather, you know, I've been watching the journey, like I'm your friend, right? I could have said this. I could have said, gosh, like your journey has been so special. And like, to watch you do what you do at the highest level using the gifts that you have, you deserve to be there. I'm proud of you.

Like, I think you're a top communicator. You have the gift of communication and like, so cool that the world got to see it and receive it. I think that type of encouragement means something different. Yeah. But to your point, it's the who you are and seeing someone for who they are and explaining that versus just noting the outside accomplishment, correct? Well, it's that. And it's also like seeing past what somebody didn't do to acknowledge who they are.

Like some of the most wonderful people that I know who are just incredible human beings by worldly standards or professional standards, they're seen as average or even less than. We have a couple of people that work at the church and they're incredible. They're not even like pastoral level leaders, they're just kind of entry level people who've decided to stay entry level and just serve and be abundant. They're amazing and And I want them to know, I see you. You're amazing. You don't have to have the title or all the accomplishments for me to see who you are. I see you. Our mutual friend, Craig Rochelle said this, and I think really this whole book could be summed up in four words. It's, I notice you matter's I notice you matter. I notice

you matter. I notice who you are and you matter to this world. I notice who you are. You matter to this organization. I notice you matter to me. I see you. Unfortunately, we have a world that overlooks people who are really great and really kind and really caring, maybe because they haven't done enough. Did you see this thing recently? This has totally popped in my head, but somewhere on social media, this is like one of the good times that social media brings something beautiful. It brought the story of this man. I want to say it was Harvard where he acknowledged and was seeing the team that was cooking the food for the students and cleaning the schools. And then he acknowledged them and celebrated and like did a day about celebrating and watching the response of these employees who had never felt seen who are not celebrated.

I mean, it was the most heartwarming thing I've seen. Did you get the chance to see that? I haven't seen it. I need to look it up. I love that. I'm going to have to find it for you, but it's exactly what you're saying. And guys, you can do this. Like Jordan said, you can do this at work. You don't have to wait for someone to come give you permission to notice somebody. You can celebrate anyone at any point in time. You can leave a note for someone. My girlfriend told me this,

some random guy left her note the other day on her computer saying, I see the work that you're putting in. Like he just left her a cute note about seeing her showing up every day. And it meant so much to her. People want to be seen and the who over the how. I love that.

Real quick. It might feel and it probably should feel awkward. So if you're like, oh, that could feel weird or different. I was a part of a board meeting recently where a senior executive, this board member at this bank called basically like a timeout in the meeting to acknowledge the woman who facilitated the meeting. Like she works kind of in conjunction with the CEO.

She's an administrative person on his team. And he's like, time out, I need to say this. I've been thinking this and I need to say it. It needs to be said. It was out of nowhere and it didn't fit with what we were talking about. And he was just like, hey, Jane, like I see you. You do an amazing job facilitating these meetings.

I just wanted to say thanks. Like you are so organized and so thoughtful and caring. Like you make this bank look like a million bucks. Sorry, I just had to say that. We can get so organized and so thoughtful and caring, like you make this bank look like a million bucks. Sorry, I just had to say that. We can get back to that. And she was like emotional. Now somebody could hear that and go, that's kind of awkward or misplaced.

The whole room felt it and it was like the super cool moment. So don't wait for the right moment or the perfect time. There's never gonna be the perfect time. It might feel a little awkward, but just trust that in the awkward moment, you're creating something really special for somebody else. Oh, I love that. And guys, take this as a challenge when you disconnect from us today after the show's over and you go by Jordan's book. Take this as a challenge that next step

is going to be you're going to send a note to someone, send a text, have a conversation with somebody telling them that you see them because that will just make the world such a better place. Hey, creating confidence listeners. This episode is proudly brought to you by Lola V, an award winning hair care line founded by the fabulous Jennifer Aniston. You know, hair so iconic, it needs no introduction. We all put our hair through the ringer.

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They'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support the show and tell them we sent you. Your hair will thank you. OK, let's get into art of elevating encouragement. You're great at this, so I'm talking to one of the best elevators of people that I've known.

Probably that the world is own. This comes very natural to you. It doesn't to most people. If our listeners are taking notes, the best elevators of people that I've known, probably that the world has known, this comes very natural to you. It doesn't to most people. If our listeners are taking notes, they could put this in their notes. If you praise someone in private, they might remember it. If you praise them in public, they'll never forget it. This is true for all of us, right?

There's something different when you have the proverbial microphone, whether it's an actual microphone and you're a speaker like Heather, or you're leading a meeting, or you're just sitting with a few friends. When you take the time to publicly acknowledge people and help them to feel seen in front of others, it changes the relationship and it certainly makes them feel seen and known in a different way. I'll give you an example, cool story of a time where this happened, Heather. We work with a lot of financial advisors. So in our company, we coach leaders and salespeople. And so real estate agents and financial advisors, mortgage lenders, those kind of folks, a lot of those people are in our community. We have a financial advisor, his name is John. John is in the great state of Iowa. I shouldn't say this because you always

give me a hard time about Iowa. In the state of Iowa, you could be a financial advisor and a farmer. It's like a real thing, right? Like the more livestock you have, the more respect you have, and the more money people will give you. Okay, so John has a bunch of pigs and he's a financial advisor. He also lives in the state of Iowa in a rural community and we're having a conversation about leveraging social media to build relationships and encourage other people. So just imagine the person I just described, not real active on social media, not a big fan. He's certainly not in tune with the message.

I can tell he's kind of like, I'm ready for this session to be over. It's kind of a group coaching session, so there's several people involved. So I just challenged him. I say, hey, John, I'm going to challenge you. I know you said you're really not on social media. You don't ever post much, but I would love for you to just try this out. Try posting about some of your clients and just finding one reason, one thing that you could say that would help the world understand who they are. Bragg on them, encourage them, just see what happens.

He doesn't really respond. I'm like, okay, I missed again. The session just needs to be over. The next day he calls me. 4 PM, I had no idea if he had taken action or not. Remember, he's a farmer from Iowa. So he says, by golly, he's like, man, I haven't posted on Facebook in like two years. But I decided, you know, I just see what happens. You said post something. So I found these

two restaurateurs, they own a bunch of restaurants in our town. You know, they're clients of mine. So I just posted a picture of us from way back in the day. And I said, you know what, if you know, Ryan and Sally, post something in the comments. If you like their food, or you've ever been to the restaurant, post something in the day. And I said, you know what, if you know, Ryan and Sally post something in the comments, if you like their food or you've ever been to the restaurant, post something in the comments. And that's all he said was like, I love Ryan and Sally. If you love them too, post in the comments. It's like Jordan, I can't believe this man. He's like, there's a hundred comments, like a hundred. He's like, I never even post on Facebook. He's like, there's a hundred comments and there's 400 likes. And again, this guy's not Heather Monahan with millions of followers. Keep this in perspective.

This guy doesn't have a big following. The engagement, given the following, is off the charts. All he did was publicly acknowledge and admire this couple and made them feel seen and known in front of other people. We all have the opportunity to do this. Endorse people on LinkedIn. Write a review on social media. If they have a podcast or a business, if they're an entrepreneur, if they're in the service

business, nominate them for an award. Businesswoman of the year, businessman of the year, 40 under 40, restaurant of the year, whatever it is, we have all kinds of ways to elevate people and we all want to be around the person who is a walking, living commercial for who we are. We love that. I love that. About Heather Monahan, you are a walking, living, breathing commercial for other people. And you love not just seeing the best in people, but then pointing it out. And it's one of the reasons that people want to spend time with you. Well, you're pretty easy to do that for, my friend,

because you're like the most genuine person I've ever met. Nicest person, kindest person, always trying to give back and help others. So that makes it pretty easy. Well, you also give me a really hard time. So there's two sides to that. So just just so y'all know, there's two sides to our friendship. But I love you for that too. I know that doesn't make it kind of fun. Okay. All right. So now let's get into the art of authentic encouragement and why that's important. I'm 27 years old. I'm at a really broken place in life, like pretty down and out. You know my story, Heather, but for those listening, if you don't know my story, I got fired from a Fortune 100

financial firm at a really young age. We share that in common. We both got let go for very different reasons, but nevertheless, we both got let go. Mine was just very public. I found all my identity and achievement and status. It really wrecked me from the inside out. It was a very tough time in my life. I had a mentor by the name of Tim Bohan and he took me in. I went to work for his firm and he hired me a coach.

He gave me a coaching session, paid for this coaching session with a guy by the name of Bob Tyker. Bob Tyker is hard-nosed, old school. And Tim kind of gave Bob the Cliff Notes, right? Okay, this kid's struggling, got fired, you know, et cetera. So Tim says, hey, you're going to meet with Bob today at noon. He'll be in the conference room. I want you to go spend time with him. So I knew Bob had a great relationship with Tim and it's like, well, he's probably a great guy. So I walked down to that conference room and I opened the conference room door and there's Bob Tiger in like a jet black suit, red tie, hair slicked back. And I remember I looked at him, I said, Bob Tiger. I said, man, it's really nice to meet you. He said, it's nice to meet you too. I said, I got to tell you, man, I have heard so many great things about you. And he said, like what? And I said, oh, I mean,

you know, just like so many things I've heard about you. Like I just, where do I start? You know? And then he doesn't say anything. And he sits down and there's like this 10 second pause. And I'm like, oh, this is not going well. And he looks at me from across the table and he says, you know, Jordan, I think you're full of shit. And I think you have an authenticity problem and I'd like to help you with that. Now in Bob's defense, what he knew from Tim is that I was this 27 year old, like silver tongue sales guy

who was kind of full of hot air. And I was overexposed, I was underdeveloped, I needed to build my character. And Bob had all that context. And when I walked in there and tried to gas him up with zero substance to support my comments, it didn't sit well. And we can all hear that and go, wow, Bob's kind of a jerk or Bob really was pretty hard on George. The reality is people feel the way that Bob felt literally all of the time. When we try to encourage people without substance, without an example, without a story, sometimes we even say the same thing over and over and over again, like, you're the man. Or I have this, I don't know why he says this. He's a great guy.

But he just, again, because it's easy to say, he doesn't have to say anything more than this. He says, who loves you, baby? Well, technically, it's a question, which is just weird to say anyway. And then he answers his own question and he says, I do. So he'd see you in the hallway and go, who loves you, baby? I do. And it's like, okay, that's kind of funny.

But really, it's just pretty weird. That doesn't mean anything. We say stuff like that all the time. And'm guilty and I wrote the book about this. The problem is when someone feels like you don't mean it, it actually works against you. You might as well just not have said it because you come across as an inauthentic version of yourself. I just believe Heather in this really sort of fake artificial world that we live in, people crave and want authenticity more than ever before. So the point is this, if we're going

to encourage people, it needs to be accompanied by a story, an example, a set of facts. Like we need to add some specificity to the kind words. Otherwise it can actually work against us. So that's a little bit about the art of authentic encouragement. I struggle with that every day. Caveat, you don't always have the time. I get that. You can still high five people and throw fist pounds.

I'm just saying be really careful with how many times you generically praise someone because you think it's the thing to say, but you don't really have substance to support it. I've learned that when you have the substance to support it, it sure means a whole lot more. So there's this business quote that I live by and it applies directly to what you're talking about right now.

And I love that it aligns those that deal in specific, seldom fail. Those that deal in generalities seldom succeed. And so it just supports exactly what you're saying around encouraging, right? Like that if you're just gonna be general, no one's gonna receive that. But if you get real specific, like you said, and tell a story of what you saw or what you heard, people love that stuff because 99% of the time,

we're not looking at ourselves with rose colored glasses the way other people do. So when somebody gives you those rose colored glasses and lets you put them on, you're like, oh my, I feel so amazing. I'm so high. Like you really touch somebody. And sometimes it's even admitting something that you didn't do or that you don't know. I'll give an example. I

had a place Grogens. I don't know if you know, Clay, I was on his podcast the other day. Clay is hilarious. He should be a stand up comedian. He's great. He's an author and speaker. I get on the podcast. He's like, Yo, bro, I gotta tell you this. I did not read your book. So I want you to know, I didn't read it. I don't know anything about it. I'm happy to have you here. I want to talk about this in a meaningful way, but I didn't read it. So let's talk. And I was like, dude, thank you. Thank you for not saying you have the best book and it's awesome. And it's going to help people. It's amazing, but you don't know anything about it. So I think that's another form of just authenticity, like, hey, love you, care about you, but just

so you know, here's where I'm at and I don't know what I should know or I'm not prepared. People love that. People would rather be around a person who's real than a person who's right. And I think so many times we just want to be right. Anyway, I'm preaching to the choir. I've got a lot of work to do in my journey, but Bob Tyker sure gave me a lesson that I will never ever forget.

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So many people, if they get hit between the eyes sometimes, that can go really poorly, right? Like they'll get defensive or they can't receive information. Even at that low moment that you were in, you still receive this information and use it as an opportunity to get better. You wouldn't be who you are today if you hadn't processed it that way, which is very humble. Like it's you have to humble yourself to check your ego and someone hits you hard like that. It's not always easy. And I just know personally that when I'm in difficult times,

it's a lot easier to be like supported and hugged and loved versus smashed in the face. So that really was a pivotal time for you. And it allowed you for anyone listening right now that is at a low moment, that is in a tough spot, think about this feedback that Gordon Gekko had for Jordan and apply it to your life and think about like, how can I leverage that so that I can become a better person so that I can attract more people towards me so that I can do more good and you've definitely lived that Jordan. Well, I think the highest form of encouragement is love. Like it's loving other people well. And I think sometimes we reduce love to like

warm and fuzzy, which is really unfortunate. Because oftentimes love is clear and direct. You know, like to be clear is to be kind, to be direct is to be loving. Like Bob Tykert was actually ultra loving to me in that conversation. He helped me like it created a breakthrough in my life. And he had enough courage to say, hey, I care about your future. I want to help you. Let me help you with this. Let me encourage you in this. And then we had this really great hour long conversation, but he needed to kind of punch me in the mouth to get my attention. And so I also don't want people to think that this topic of encouragement is like sunshine and rainbows and it's warm and fuzzy. It's not. Like oftentimes loving people and encouraging

people means you provide truth, but you call them up, you don't call them out. You do it in a way where they can receive it and hear it. We've had to have a conversation like that. Heather, you've challenged me a couple of times, like, hey, here's something I see in you. You gotta stop doing this. Or conversely, it's been like, dude, start doing this.

Like you're missing it. And there's some moments where that didn't feel good, but those are things that I needed to hear so I could grow and get better. And I actually think that's one of the most encouraging, loving things that you could do because you were depositing beliefs saying, like, I see this in you, and I'm not seeing you for who you are today. I'm seeing you for who you could be. And that's the most loving, inspiring interaction that you could have with another human. Well, I'll tell everybody right now what it is, what you're talking about, because I think it's important for people to hear because we can all learn from other people's experiences.

And that is you have built such a life of giving, you have built such a life of connecting other people, in my opinion, sometimes to a disservice to yourself because you have like 9 million chips out there and you never cash them because you feel that part for you. It's become so easy for you to give to others that it's almost foreign now for you to ask. And we've all seen a lot of people out there that just ask, ask and ask and you don't want to be that guy. But you know, for me looking at you, it's just so obvious that you've done so much good. You have so much goodwill out there that for you to ask someone,

hey, could you help me out with this? There's no one that's going to say no. And it's so important to ask. Well, that's been helpful. So those hard conversations are challenging conversations where you've been like, you've got to get better at this or you need to do better in this area. That's helped me. Like I have been more direct the last few months,

specifically with this book launch. So so thank you for that. And thank you for having me today. And thank you for your friendship. You have been one of the more encouraging voices in my life over the past couple of years. God bless David Nurse for connecting us. You embody every part of this book, Heather, and what we're talking about. And I'm just honored to call you a friend. So thanks for being my buddy from Miami that encourages me and also gives me a hard time. My brother from another mother. All right, so guys, I'm going to make a very direct ask. And actually, Jordan's giving you so much support,

so many reasons why to do this. Right now, I want you to go pre-order The Art of Encouragement, How to Lead Teams, Spread Love, and Serve from the Heart. I am linking this book in the show notes, but tell them a little bit about the webinar and what you've got to support this so that the rewards that they're going to get from this. Yeah. So we have a book launch webinar July 12th. So if you order the book, go to the

art of encouragement book.com. So it's the art of encouragement book.com. There's a landing page and you could join us for a webinar on July 12th. John Gordon, David Nurse, Ryan Leake and Jess Ekstrom are gonna be sharing for about 10 minutes a piece. I'll also be sharing, it's an hour. We'll have another giveaway in the webinar. Yeah, come hang out. We'd love for you to read the book.

It's discounted right now. It's available for pre-sale and it comes out July 23rd. So we would love to impact you with the book if you're kind enough to order it. So guys, I am asking you for personal favor, go get the book The Art of Encouragement. Who would they be buying this book for Jordan? Like who is this book really written for? This lacks specificity. But I wrote the book for this reason. I truly believe Heather that if someone is a stay at home mom,

or stay at home dad, or they're a president of a company or professional athlete, like it doesn't matter. You could be 13 years old or you could be 93 years old. This book speaks to the human spirit. And so if you want to spread love, lead teams, and share from the heart, this book is for you. Parenting Journey, Lead in the Workplace, Lead in the Community. I really truly believe that anyone of any age and any background could read this book. I will say this, if you lead a team, it's a must read because you, like me, might be making too many assumptions about how your team feels and how well you're doing in this area of your leadership. And I can say that because we spend time with a lot of leaders in the corporate

world who are, I think, struggling or falling short in this area. Guys, this book is going to add so much value to you, to your community, to your family, to your life. Go get the book, The Art of Encouragement, Jordan Montgomery. I'll put all of the links in the show notes below. Catch this webinar, some incredible speakers, and most importantly, just an incredible message from an awesome human. Jordan, thank you so much for being here and thank you for writing this book.

Thanks for having me, Heather. Thank you for being my friend and thanks for encouraging me. God bless you. Right back at you. God bless you, my friend. thanks for encouraging me. God bless you. Right back at you. God bless you, my friend. All right, guys, go get the book right now, called Action, The Art of Encouragement. I can't wait to hear what you think about it.

Give me a message, drop me a line. I want to hear all about it. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. I want to make a move again. I decided to change that dynamic. And then I fell out. I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear.

Start learning and growing. Inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. I'm on this journey with me. This episode is brought to you by the Yap Media Podcast Network. I'm Hala Taha, CEO of the award-winning

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