Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #443: How To Flip Haters' Negativity Into A Positive For YOU! With Heather!

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

The biggest stages in the world are waiting to welcome you. Are you ready to take the stage? Let me teach you how…. Join The Elite Mastermind with me! There are only 3 seats available. Link here: https://heathermonahan.com/the-elite-mastermind/ In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Why you should KEEP PUSHING THROUGH challenges, no matter the setbacks. How to show grace to others dealing with tough times. How focusing on self-improvement and personal development helps you reach your goals. Reasons not to REACT to people. Resources: Get 15% off by using code CONFIDENCE at LolaVie.com  Get the free, on-demand video training at circuitsalessystem.com/confidence Call my digital clone at 201-897-2553!  Visit heathermonahan.com Reach out to me on Instagram & LinkedIn Sign up for my mailing list: heathermonahan.com/mailing-list/  Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  Are you where you WANT to be? Personal growth and defining success are so important for hitting my goals. I have learned to focus on self-improvement, own my journey, and not to worry about external validation. Let's be real – haters and misunderstandings are just part of life. Whether it's in personal relationships or climbing the career ladder, I've run into people who didn't get me or even tried to bring me down. The trick is not to let them mess with your journey. Use their negativity as fuel to keep moving forward. So, may your FAITH be bigger than your FEAR today and every day. Life’s short. Make it count. Keep building your confidence!

When I started podcasting, an online store was the furthest thing from my mind. Now I'm selling my group coaching on the regular and it is just so easy. All because I use Shopify. Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi and welcome back.

I am so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, so two things that I wanted to get into. I'm going to keep this short and sweet today. Two things that I wanted to get into. One was a situation I was working with one of my clients and I thought maybe this is applicable to more than just him So I want to go through what happened there. But before I get into that I wanted to share something that I posted this week and Wow, I was blown away by the negativity that I responded the haters, right?

We all have them and actually I mean all you can do is laugh, right? When you have a hater company. Well, first of all, I like to see it as it's a positive, right, because it means we're reaching beyond our fans. We're reaching beyond our tribe of people that love us and cheer us on. So that's great. Means we're having some impact.

So let's get excited about it, right? The other thing is, you know, it can be a little frustrating, but I wanna break down for you kinda what I saw in the negativity that came at me from these posts, because the reality is it was so wrong, and I know that this happens for you too. People don't understand what you mean.

Communication is flawed, especially when you put a social media post up, right? People aren't gonna understand exactly what it is. You're talking about. It's not like you're in a real live Conversation with them and you're having you know Dialogue and explaining yourself. No, I mean oftentimes there are communication issues with email with text messages Anytime it's one-sided or not really, you know, in person and in real life. So that's something just to, you know, be considered of and think of. But social media is real interesting because people, they're going to perceive you the way they perceive you.

That's about them. It's not about you, right? You know who you are. They don't know the context of you. They don't know the different angles of you. They don't know your background. They might think they do. And that's why I love this show because you're my tribe. You're my people. You're the closest to me. You're with me a couple times every week. You're going to know a lot more that people on social media don't know. I'm blessed to have a large community on social media, specifically on LinkedIn. We have over 300,000 strong on LinkedIn and it's great. And I love the dialogue that goes on on LinkedIn. I love the comments and the feedback and it's so super helpful and interesting to me. However, sometimes it's way off, right? Like sometimes

people miss the mark. And I don't know if you read my second book overcome your villains I actually wrote a whole chapter about this about the haters because they were so off this is a couple years ago now but two years ago someone attacked me for saying I wrong quoted Nelson Mandela it ends up in the end it wasn't a Nelson Mandela quote and the irony of all of this is that people get so angry and upset. It's all about them. I was reminded of this the other day when the AC went out in our building and one of the engineers came to my unit and it was helping me fix my unit.

And I had gotten him and his partner, a couple of bottles of water. They were, you know, so hot, obviously, and it was super hot in the building. And I said, gosh, this must be a tough day for you guys and they said actually It's not you know, 90% of the people are nice like you. However They said there's a couple of people that are literally losing their minds and screaming at us And I just reminded them like, you know, that's about them. It has nothing to do about you and they're like, yeah No, we know we definitely know so we're all gonna and hopefully you don't run into those people today I don't know you may right

We all might run into angry and upset people but give them some grace and just remember it We never know what's going on in their life and what's so bad that they're spiraling out of control and attacking others Bummer for them, right? But just focus back on what you can be grateful for grateful. That's not your life thankful That's not you, right? I think we've all been there before. We've all had awful days and awful situations under lots of stress, maybe illnesses, firings, you know, whatever it may be, fear, but try to give those people some grace.

You just never know what they're walking through. Meet a different guest each week. What you know is the truth. Confidence cleared. Are you tired of the stress and chaos of live launching? Who isn't, right? But if you've tried going evergreen, you know that's not the solution either. Hello, low conversions.

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So I wanna get to this post. Well, first of all, I'm gonna tell you how I came up with this post. So Alex Hermosy, one of the things that I do with social media is I watch what is trending, I watch what's exploding. Here's why. When you see what's doing really, really well, it can give you an insight or an idea on what you could recreate through the lens of you

with that same topic or theme, right? So don't worry about copying people so much, as I would say, use it as inspiration, right? And I always go back to this example. I don't think Kim Kardashian loses sleep at night about creating skims, because I'm sure plenty of people said to her, well, basically you're knocking off

Sarah Blakely's idea of Spanx. But she re-imagined that product line through her lens, her community, her perspective. So it's similar yet different, right? It's similar yet it fits her audience. Listen Listen there hasn't been an original creation since the Bible So whatever you're creating it's going to be seen through the lens of your perspective But it's a reinvention of something that's already else. It's already out there right so rare that something is unique or different It's a blend of different things you see out in the world

So don't get too caught up in that idea that you're knocking off someone's idea I actually use it as inspiration. And then what I like to do is I comment about the person in my post. And so I'm going to walk you through what I did. Here's a post it was inspired by Alex Hermosie age 24 boyfriend cheats on me that moment allows me to accept an equity partnership I never would have agreed to otherwise jump on a plane and move to Michigan to buy a $25 million radio company

and drive revenue as fast as possible. Age 28, sell that company for 55 million and go to work for a nationally publicly traded media company. It's a mouthful. And pitch myself for a job that didn't exist, was awarded VP of sales for the company, promoted three times over 14 years

and landed in the C-suite as a CRO. Age 32, get married, give birth to my son, get divorced all over a three-year period. Put my head down and outwork everyone in corporate America, continue to climb the proverbial ladder. Age 43, named one of the most influential women in radio and then unexpectedly fired when the CEO I worked for stepped down and elevated his daughter to replace him.

Have an 18-month non-compete so I needed to start over somewhere new as a beginner. Age 44, in desperation, I write and self-publish, confident creator, launch my speaking career and personal brand, start stepping into fear on the regular and double down on me. Partner with Perry Ellis to launch a clothing line after nine months working on it and pitching it to HSN and QVC. I'm told, no, we folded the entire concept. Nine months gone, nothing to show for it. H45, launch creating confidence podcast, launch my group coaching and consulting business and land my first paid board seat.

Pitch myself for my TEDx. I'm told no 100 times. Finally landed it on the 101st pitch. Age 46, name top 50 keynote speaker and sign with Harper Collins leadership to publish my second book, Overcome Your Villains. Second book launch isn't as successful as the first book launch due to COVID

and frustrations are running high. That is an understatement, my friends. Age 47, named top executive coach of the year by real leaders, launched my annual mastermind and agreed to speak in Saudi Arabia at the world's largest tech conference, taking stepping into fear to a whole new level now that we're heading to the Middle East. Age 48, take Tony Robbins and Dean Graziosi stage for the first time, bucket list moment,

sign on to speak for Leap 2025 and gearing up to head back to Saudi Arabia. The second time is never as scary as the first. Life is a series of ups and downs, highs and lows. We are all in the middle of writing our very own stories. The worse the villains are that we face, the more epic your story becomes. You'll either get an epic outcome or an epic story. Either way, you win. May your faith be greater than your fear today

and every day. Thank you for the inspo, Alex Hermosy. That's my shout out. Need a hand to get through your low moments? I got you. Join my mastermind. I have three spots left. Apply in the show notes below.

See you on my team. Okay. So, and by the way, there is a link to the mastermind. There are three spots left. Get in. This is the crew you want to run with if you're ready to push yourself into fear and go to the next level.

It's happening now in real time. Okay. So that was the post that I put up. Here's what's interesting. I don't know if you already know where I was getting the hate on this. I had no idea, which is so wild. Posted really, really well, right?

Not by chance, by design, meaning I saw Alex Hermosy's post was going viral. So I knew if I created something similar and I took the idea of the age, the low moment, the high moment, the low, right? Like I just basically took that kind of framework and then I inserted my stories and my experience and expertise into it.

Okay, so I reimagined his posts through the lens of me. That was the concept. It works. It works all the time, right? Like I've just, I've tested this stuff enough. First you need to identify who your competitors are out there. I call Alex a competitor. He's actually a friend.

He's been on the show. I love him. He's amazing. But like who are the people that are in your sphere that are ahead of you that you could reimagine? Posts or concepts from okay Here's what people attack me on and it's not one like you can go to the post on LinkedIn and see Just go to my content on LinkedIn. You'll find it. It's crazy So many people attacked me about this line age 24 boyfriend cheats on me

The moment allows me to accept an equity partnership I never would have agreed to otherwise, jump on a plane and move to Michigan to buy a $25 million radio company and drive revenue as fast as possible. We sold that company for 55 million in under three years, killed it out there, right? It's like one of my most major epic accomplishments

in business. I'm super proud of it. Put me on the map in business. And gosh, all my friends were out dating getting married falling in love and We were all in our 20s and I was out crushing the business game, right? I sacrificed a lot for that. It paid off really well in regards to business not in regards to my personal life That is for sure, but that's for another day Okay

Here's what people hated on me for so much on that is they hated on me because they don't know me, right? I mean, there's 300,000 people in the community that they all don't know me. And obviously, some of these posts reach people outside of the community, right? So they know me even less. And this is why I don't want you to get upset when haters come for you. They don't know your whole story. Here's what they were saying. They were saying they took from that line that I just read to you that I grew up rich, that someone gave me millions of dollars to buy a company. That is wrong. You know me. I grew up poor, right? So and no one gave

me any money. What happened and I'm giving you the insight so you can understand, don't react to people guys. Like when you react, you don't have the whole story. People were getting so mad at me saying, I'm so privileged and all this. I didn't have 25 million. Are you mental? Oh my gosh, I wish. Cause then I would have kept all the profits

of 30 million from the sale that I created, delivered on. And I didn't, I was an equity partner, a sweat equity. Here's what that means. And this is business lesson 101. When you don't have any money, but you have all the talent, you have all the ability, you are called a sweat equity partner. Here's what that means. My partner, who's still one of my dearest friends to this day, Jeff Wilkes, he saw me,

I was working for him as a salesperson in Worcester, Massachusetts. I was the number one salesperson in the company in under one year when he hired me. He saw something in me. When I went into work, crying my eyeballs out about my boyfriend cheating on me. He said, I want to make you a real rich girl. Do you want to be a real rich girl? I said, well, yeah, you know, I come from nothing. I have nothing. He said, great hop on a plane with me. I'm going to make you my sweat equity partner.

I'm going to go ahead and lay out the 25 million to buy this company, but I want you to move there. I want you to run it. I want you to accelerate the revenues and I want you to sell it for as much money as you can as fast as possible. He dropped me off and he left. Right, so he provided the 25 million. I didn't have the cash. I provided the work.

They call that sweat equity. I moved to the operation. I ran the operation. I built the team. I drove the revenue and sold it. That is what sweat equity is. So the irony is all these people were hating on me on this post, going ballistic, calling me this rich,

white privileged person. I left a lot. I think if they were gross, the comments were gross, I delete them because I just don't think anybody needs that. But I did leave a lot of the nasty comments up because I think it's funny. Anyone that knows me that has read my books, that has listened to the show knows I grew up poor I come from nothing

So who are these people attacking me saying that I'm so wealthy and privileged to have 25 million So my point is this when you attack when you react when you get triggered because these people were triggered for whatever reason We don't know why that's about them. Not about us. They were making fools of themselves They don't know the whole story and in fact, they were reacting responding to something they knew nothing about and they were wrong fools of themselves. They don't know the whole story. And in fact, they were reacting and responding to something they knew nothing about and they were wrong. Right, so don't ever allow that to be you. And again, give grace to these people when we can because gosh, something's really triggered within them.

Must have a lot of upset, anger, jealousy, whatever it is, I don't know, it's not about me, but you can't get caught up in that. You can't go down that spiral. You can't circle that drain't know. It's not about me. But you can't get caught up in that. You can't go down that spiral. You can't circle that drain with them. That's what they want. They're like, hey, hold my hand and come down and spiral around this death spiral I'm in.

No thanks, I'm gonna go ahead and give you a pass with grace, I'm gonna go ahead and remove that comment or just keep it moving. Like I'm just gonna stay on my positive trail, I'm gonna stay focused on me and actually feel badly for you. Right? So let those people go. Let those negative people go. Don't hold their hand and circle the drain with them. There's no need for that. You're better than that. You know better than

that and you don't need to react or get triggered by them because that's a rookie move my friends. Okay so that was what I wanted to share with you about that post. If creating content is more than just a passion project for you, it's time to make your passion profitable with Kajabi. I wish I had known this. You can easily diversify your revenue, build your own brand and turn your audiences into customers. As a creator, you are a brand, so your business should be built exactly that same way that you want it. And you deserve all of the benefits of it, including the revenue. With Kajabi, you can build your business the way you want and keep everything you earn. Kajabi is the leading all-in-one platform that helps creators and

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dot com slash confidence. Kajabi dot com slash confidence and join the creators and entrepreneurs who have made over $7 billion. Get your free 30 day trial now and start your business at kajabi.com slash confidence. When I started podcasting, an online store was the furthest thing from my mind. Now I'm selling my group coaching on the regular, and it is just so easy. All because I use Shopify. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business from the launch,

your online shop stage to the first real life store stage, all the way to, did we just hit a million order stage? Shopify is there to help you grow. Whether you're selling scented soaps or offering outdoor outfits, Shopify helps you sell everywhere. From their all-in-one e-commerce platform to their in-person POS system,

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I didn't know how to set up a website and I really didn't need to. Shopify does it all for you and they make it so easy. It was that breakthrough moment for me that I realized I can do this. I can go to work for myself thanks to Shopify. What I love about Shopify is you don't need to have all this technology information ready to you don't need to know how to plan and run things. You just need to go to the platform, turn it on and know what you're selling. And Shopify is going to help you figure out the rest. Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce in the U S and

Shopify is the global force behind all birds, Rothy's and Brooklyn and millions of other entrepreneurs of every size across 175 countries, including your girl right here. Plus Shopify's award-winning help is there to support your success every step of the way because businesses that grow, grow with Shopify. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash Monahan, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash Monahan now to lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash monahan. Now to grow your business, no matter what stage you're in.

Shopify.com slash monahan. No matter what stage you're at, they're gonna make it easy. Okay, second thing, I had to jump on a call with one of my clients over the last couple of days. Here's what's super interesting is that within five minutes on the call with him, I was like, give me an update on business. Where are you at right now? What's going on?

He's traveling all around the world, speaking everywhere. He's actually part of my mastermind and there there's only three spots left, get in! Don't miss this opportunity. It's such an incredible group of people. And it's just, gosh, it's so amazing to watch everyone's success. It inspires me daily. Okay, he's an incredible human.

So we're on the call and we're like, I said, listen, give me an update on business, high level, what's going on, where are you at? And he's like, things aren't where I want them to be right now. I said, well, walk me through, like where are you at? And he's like, things aren't where I want them to be right now. I said, well, walk me through it. Like, where are you falling or failing? Where are you excelling?

And where is your biggest and fastest business opportunity to drive results? Like, pick your head up from inside the business. And this happens to a lot of people when we're knee deep in the day to day and executing on the daily stuff, the tasks that we have ahead of us. We're not picking our head up to say, wait a minute, is this even the right decision? Is this the best and most strategic use of my time? Is this what I should be doing? It was not. Right? So within five minutes I hear him give me a high level overview. I said, pause. This is not the best use of your time. If you're telling me what you want to do right now is drive more revenue, right?

Got it. Okay, great. So let's look at everything through the lens of, is this the best use of your time to drive revenue? Where do we need to focus your team? We picked our heads up, we looked at what he was doing, and it was painfully obvious. He was not doing the number one thing that could drive revenue for him seamlessly. He'd gotten away from it by accident

because he had gotten caught up in his speaking, because he had gotten caught up in his schedule, because he had gotten caught up in his schedule, because he hadn't picked his head up from inside his business to look at it strategically and overview his business. So here's what I'm challenging you to do. It was such an easy fix, right? So once we identified it, now we put the plan in place,

now the action steps, and now we execute on that strategically, watch revenues soar So I want you to do this in your life as you look at your life Where are the biggest opportunities get out of living in your business take a step back from it? You can't be working in your business and on it at the same time those two can't coexist It's impossible because you're either knee-deep in execution and making the stuff happen in it Or you're taking a step back and strategic and like observing it from afar. You need to do that. You could say, hey Heather, well I'm

in corporate America. I still want you to do that. Take a step out of it. Is this where you really want to be? Where are your big picture goals? Where are you winning? Where are you failing? Where are you succeeding? What does success look like? What is possible for you? Right? Like you need to do all these things. Don't wait for a manager or leader to come in and tell you to do it. You do it for you. You are worth it. No one is going to take the time for you that you should be taking for you.

You need to be your number one priority. You need to define that. What does success look like for you? Listen, there's going to be roadblocks. There's going to be excuses. Maybe you just had a baby. There's going to be a million reasons why it's tough to do that right now. I got it. Now pause and do it anyway. You matter. You need to reach your potential. You have a

God-given talent, a purpose, and a passion on your heart that is there for a reason. Don't die with that on your heart. There's so much wasted potential in a cemetery. While you can still choose, while you still have the opportunity to choose the life and the potential I've had of you, pick it, go for it, choose it, choose you, and do it now. Life is short. Make yours count. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. This episode is brought to you by the Yap Media Podcast Network. I'm Hala Taha, CEO of the award-winning digital media empire, Yap Media, and host of

Yap Young and Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can listen, learn, and profit. On Young and Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week we dive into a new topic like the art of side hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion, and goal setting.

I interview A-list guests on Young and Profiting. I've got the best guests, like the world's number one negotiation expert, Chris Voss, shark Damon John, serial entrepreneurs Alex and Leila Hermosy, and even movie stars like Matthew McConaughey. There's absolutely no fluff on my podcast and that's on purpose. Every episode is jam-packed with advice that's gonna push your life forward. I do my research, I get straight to the point, and I take things really seriously which is

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