Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #455: Why We Don’t React, We RESPOND With Heather!

Episode Date: August 21, 2024

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  How to control your emotions when you are tested in tough situations The best ways to recognize your negativity & PIVOT in the moment Why relationships are everything & what it means to show you care EMPOWERING yourself by focusing on what you can CONTROL  Resources: Go to ro.co/confidence, and pay just $99 for your first month, then $145 a month after that. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/monahan Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/confidence Get your KPI Checklist, absolutely free, at NetSuite.com/MONAHAN.  Want to do more and spend less like Uber, 8x8, and Databricks Mosaic? Take a free test drive of OCI at oracle.com/MONAHAN. Get 15% off your first order on www.jennikayne.com when you use code CONFIDENCE15 at checkout. Call my digital clone at 201-897-2553!  Visit heathermonahan.com Reach out to me on Instagram & LinkedIn Sign up for my mailing list: heathermonahan.com/mailing-list/  Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  I am officially 50 and this week has been a non stop party! My friends totally outdid themselves and I am overcome with their thoughtfulness and love. But even surrounded by positivity, we can be caught off guard by a negative or unwanted comment. That’s exactly what happened to me and I almost spiraled out. But when something like that happens, it is so important to be aware of our emotions and not let them control us. Never react! We must give ourselves time to process and RESPOND instead. Stop feeling caught up in negativity and empower yourself to rise above! Need the step by step on how? Listen in!

When I started podcasting, an online store was the furthest thing from my mind. Now I'm selling my group coaching on the regular and it is just so easy. All because I use Shopify. Come on this journey with me each week. When you join me, you're going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my closeup. Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week.

Okay, so this was a, wow, a crazy intense week. Way too much fun, way too over the top. No one should be having fun like I have had last week. It's insane and I'm exhausted. My voice is gone and please bear with me. So Here's what I know. I just had my 50th birthday and I had friends from all over the country that came in and It was such an incredible week. And I just wanted to remind you that it's the little things. It's making the trip. It's being thoughtful It's my best friend creating a book ten reasons Why you're my best friend and then making a blanket of our whole lives together From when our children were babies from when we were teenagers

Just being so thoughtful and kind from one of the women that worked for me for so thoughtful and kind from one of the women that worked for me for 15 years in the radio business sending me flowers and a card and I hadn't seen her in months, right? Just all these incredible things that people do to make you feel special, to let you know that they love you, that you're important to them. And these are milestones and it just, I felt so incredibly loved, so supported. Now, so this is a reminder first and foremost, and I'm gonna keep this short because I want you to know that 150 is not something to be sad about, it's something to be celebrated just like any milestone, any birthday, any anything is to be celebrated, right? So my reminder to you today is this,

reach out to somebody that has impacted your life in a positive way. Don't think that not making the call or, you know, make it, make the call, send the text, send the card, send the flowers, jump on the plane. People are everything, relationships are everything. And it's just, I feel so beyond blessed for the relationships and friendships and all the love that I have.

So, so grateful. I can't even put it into words. I'm so grateful. I just really meant so much to me to have so many people supporting me and showing up for me in the last week Okay, and which is so fun too, by the way, it was insane When I started podcasting an online store was the furthest thing from my mind now

I'm selling all my digital courses and coaching on Shopify. It's so easy, all because I use Shopify. Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business from the launch your online shop stage to the first real life store stage, all the way to the, did we just hit a million order stage? Shopify is there to help you grow. Whether you're selling scented soap or offering outdoor outfits, Shopify helps you sell everywhere from their all in one e-commerce platform to their in-person POS system, wherever and whatever you're selling. Shopify has got you covered. Shopify helps you turn browsers into buyers with the internet's best converting checkout, 36% better on average compared to

the other leading commerce platforms and sell more with less thanks to Shopify. Magic, your AI-powered all-star. Shopify is constantly teaching me so much, things that I never knew about conversion. I am not a master on any of this selling online. I'm a master in coaching people in the things I do, but I did not know how to convert it. Shopify is always sending me tips, tricks, articles, and offering different partners and solutions for me to improve my conversions,

which means ultimately drive more revenue for my business and diversify my business. Thank you, Shopify. Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce in the US, and Shopify is the global force behind Albers, Rothy's, and Brooklyn, and millions of other entrepreneurs of every size over across 175 countries. Plus Shopify's award-winning help is there to support your success every step of the

way and it's so good because businesses that grow, grow with Shopify. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash Monahan, all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash Monahan now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in Shopify.com slash Monahan. So with all those good things right there's lots of good going on of course there's some not good going on I'm exhausted I haven't slept I've gone out more in the last week than I've gone out in a year probably. I mean, we went out every single day. It was crazy. So it's a little tiring today and we're going to have to get back in a normal routine again. What's not

going to be easy as I try to get my voice back. But one of the things that I noticed as I'm trying to grow as a human being in a person is I did not like, right, a lot of people were reaching out to me on my actual birthday and I did not like getting a message from one person. And it was so funny that I really had to witness myself. Like if you've ever done this, you know, you're noticing your behavior and you're like, ooh, this is not good. Like, wait a minute, I am not impressed by this one. I unraveled, somebody reached out to me, I didn't feel that person should reach out to me, I didn't wanna hear from that person,

and it put me in a little bit of a tailspin, or I allowed it to put me into a little bit of a tailspin where I was upset and being negative and saying not nice things, being a baby, right? That wasn't what I wanted. And it was interesting because as I reflected on it, a few minutes later, another person reached out to me that I had not expected to hear from either,

but this one, I felt that was okay. And so I was like, oh, that's cute. That was so cute. Oh, what a nice guy, blah, blah, blah, right? So it was interesting as I observed myself, and I wonder if you've ever done this, where you're like, you qualify what's okay and what's not. And so the problem was this, it was on my actual birthday, I allowed this message that

I got to put me into a negative mood, which was ridiculous. And listen, I ended up shaking it, but not fully, right? I was just kind of a little bit off. You know how sometimes you can react to somebody sending you a message or a note, or you don't like it, or you qualify it. Anyhow, bottom line is I did all those things, all the wrong things. I reacted, I did not react with class and grace. I was negative, I was cold, not my finest moments.

But then literally five minutes later, another person sends me a message and I decide that that is great and wonderful and I'm so excited. And it was funny to observe me doing that because I realized, wait a minute, I'm not in charge of what other people do, I'm not in charge of who reaches out to me who doesn't, that's you know about them, that's not about me, but I am in charge of how I respond to it, right? And just because I didn't feel it was right for that other person to message me, that's

not my choice. And when I finally, it took about a day, it was right for that other person to message me. That's not my choice. And when I finally, it took about a day, it was the next day, I finally stepped back from it and I realized I was being really negative for nothing. Instead I could just receive it as, okay, this person reached out. I don't have to be, you know, over the moon about it. I don't have to understand why I did it, but it just is. So I'm going gonna see it as This is another person in my life that has positive thoughts or emotions around me my birthday

And I can leave it at that I can be grateful for that and I can move on And so it was such a blessing the next day when I finally decided to let that go and just you know, not try to Overanalyze it and over whatever it but instead let let it go, say, okay, wasn't what I thought I wanted, but you know what, that's nice and keep it moving. So for you, with whatever you are facing, or if you are ever in a situation where you feel like someone shouldn't have reached out or they didn't reach out and they should have, right? Like, you qualify all these things, and I had done that a couple times this week.

It was just interesting to observe that with, you know, a big milestone birthday, you have the opportunity to kind of notice that stuff. And I was pretty proud of myself that only took 24 hours for me to get my head back on right and then be a kinder, nicer person, even though I definitely wasn't initially in the moment. If you're like me, then you are getting so hyped for fall dressing now that fall is right around the corner. I'm so thrilled to hear from one of our favorite sponsors, Jenny Kane. They are the experts in classic elevated wardrobe essentials, especially iconic and super luck

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your summer aesthetic with Jenni Kane. Find your new uniform at jennikane.com. 15% off with your first order. That's code CONFIDENCE15 at checkout. My message for you today is as always, we do not react. We respond with all the class and grace within us, even though I forgot on my birthday, I definitely did. And it took 24 hours to get it right, but I did get it back to right again. And I felt so much better once I did. The funny thing is doing the right thing

will always make you feel better, even though it might be so hard to do in the moment, which it definitely was for me. So that's my message for you today. We do not react, we respond with all the class and grace in the world and what somebody else does isn't about us, that's about them, how we respond to it is about us. Right, so we just gotta let that go

and stop trying to control it, because we can't. And the other thing is showing up matters, reaching out to people and letting them know how you feel about them matters, and send the text, make the call, make the book, make the blanket, whatever it is for you. Do the thoughtful act because people are everything in relationships or everything in life and I am so incredibly grateful for mine. I'm so incredibly grateful for you listening to the show. I'm so incredibly grateful for all the support and just wanted to

remind you today, make the call, send the text, make the book. You will be glad that you did. I'm so glad for all the messages that I received. I hope you have an amazing day today and I hope you keep creating your confidence because you know I will be. See you next week. What's up everyone? I'm Hala Taha, host of YAP Young and Profiting podcast, a top 10 entrepreneurship podcast on Apple. I'm also the CEO and founder of the YAP Media Podcast Network,

the number one business and self-improvement podcast network. That's why they call me the podcast princess. On Young and Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world, offering actionable advice to level up your life. I've interviewed marketing legends like Gary Vee and Seth Godin,

serial entrepreneurs like Alex Hermee and Seth Godin, serial entrepreneurs like Alex Hermosy and Damon John, and even the godmother and godfather of AI, Fifi Lee and Stephen Wolfram respectively. I've interviewed so many inspiring guests, and I don't really like to put my podcast in a box. We talk about anything that will improve your life as an entrepreneur. I tend to talk a lot about brand, marketing, sales strategies, and better understanding psychology and human behavior to get what you want. But we also cover things like balance, biohacking, and mental wellness,

and of course, hot topics like AI. One thing my listeners always say is that my podcast is highly motivational. If you wanna get pumped up and take your life and business to the next level, come listen, learn, and profit with the YAP fam. We're young and profiting not because of our age, but because we're committed to ongoing learning and self-improvement.

So join Podcast Royalty and subscribe to YAP Young and Profiting on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcasts.