Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #471: Why Uncertainty Is An OPPORTUNITY With Heather!

Episode Date: October 16, 2024

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  How to embrace UNCERTAINTY to open the door for OPPORTUNITIES What happens if you stop WORRYING and focus on what you can CONTROL How prioritizing YOURSELF helps you step into your BEST SELF Why you should choose GRATITUDE over CHAOS to protect your peace Resources: Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/monahan Download the CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning at NetSuite.com/MONAHAN. Want to do more and spend less like Uber, 8x8, and Databricks Mosaic? Take a free test drive of OCI at oracle.com/MONAHAN. Get 10% off your first Mitopure order at timeline.com/CONFIDENCE. Get 15% off your first order when you use code CONFIDENCE15 at checkout at jennikayne.com. Call my digital clone at 201-897-2553!  Visit heathermonahan.com Reach out to me on Instagram & LinkedIn Sign up for my mailing list: heathermonahan.com/mailing-list/  Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  How do you handle the chaos when life throws curveballs your way? This week reminded me that life is unpredictable, and trying to control everything only drains your peace. Instead, embrace UNCERTAINTY—it frees you to stay open to new possibilities. When things spiral, focus on what you CAN control and don’t stress others until you have concrete answers. Rather than apologize, THANK people for their understanding and offer a compromise. Prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish—it’s how you show up as your BEST self. Stay flexible, keep moving, and remember—things often work out even BETTER than you expect!

Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, so a couple of things to get you up to speed on. I hope everybody's okay from the past couple of hurricanes. I have seen and read about so much devastation and damage. And that was literally the biggest hurricane we've ever seen coming at the state of Florida. And I'll tell you, I live in Miami, obviously, I have a son and we, school was canceled for most of the week.

I mean, everything was getting shut down. Every grocery store sold out of water. It's a weird thing if you're not used to living in the South because hurricanes, unfortunately, become somewhat normal, at least during a window of time during the year. So it doesn't make it any less scary. It's some of those things you can't control, you can't plan around, you can't plan for, and then it's all of a sudden upon you and you have no idea what's gonna happen So it was definitely a stressful week Like we weren't sleeping that great and PS the winds were really, you know the winds the actual

Situation outside our doors was not great either However, what's so interesting and first of all, we were so blessed because Miami did very well I think with the highest winds we got were 60 mile an hour, which is not Life threatening like what so many other people dealt with. So number one, we're so grateful. We're so blessed and we were so lucky. Okay, two is, you know, these are just first world problems. But of course when you go through something like this, it gets super stressful. You're not able to buy the things that you need. You don't know if you're going to have power.

You don't know if your flights are canceled, your work trips are canceled, the schools canceled, right? Like just all these bizarre, weird things out of your control, right? And so you just have to kind of let it go, live in uncertainty. Anyhow, it was a challenging week, obviously, for so many people across so many areas, right? Because this hurricane was literally

the size of all of Florida. So it was interesting because I had a trip scheduled to be in LA this week I had this trip planned for you know, six weeks eight weeks and I had an event with inner fifth and I was also Going to be supporting my attorney who's one of my best friends at a big event She had an LA as well and my event was earlier in the day, hers was in the evening. And so it was super important to me,

not only from a business standpoint, to be somebody that shows up when I say, I'm gonna be somewhere, of course I go, I would never miss anything. Of course there are things out of your control, but you just, you wanna be that person. If you're gonna be somewhere, you're gonna be there. But then two, also there was the personal side of it

that gosh, I really did not wanna let my friend down. It was really important to her. You know, we'd already told people I was going to be there at that event too. So I'm sure you feel this. It can be just stressful when you have all these things going on. You don't know if you're leaving. You don't know if you're going. You're trying to make plans. You don't even know what to do with your ticket. You don't even know if it's safe to fly. Well anyhow, I have become, and I swear this is all goes back to getting fired and learning to live in uncertainty. If you have not learned to live in uncertainty yet, today is a day. Like let's start because it just makes life better, right? You kind of get excited like, okay, I wonder what's going to happen. I have no idea if I'm going to LA or not. I have no idea. And suddenly I have two

days of completely cleared schedule with nothing to do because I'm going to LA or not. I have no idea. And suddenly I have two days of completely cleared schedule with nothing to do because I'm supposed to be in another state. I have no idea what's happening with my child, right? Like just embracing these moments and kind of making it more of a game, like, oh, I wonder what's gonna, what are the odds of this happening or that happening?

I try to, you know, just be as grateful as I can be and live in the unexpected, not knowing what's gonna happen. The other thing I try to do, I think my partners appreciate this. I don't start getting on people's radar saying, I don't know if I'm going to make it. I don't know what's going to happen because I don't know. Nobody knows. Right. Literally a hurricane is a great example. It could change course overnight and suddenly something that you thought was

going to be devastating could be gone. And so I just believe why stress out other people if they're not living in it. If you weren't living in Florida, you probably, you know, or at least in the south somewhere, you weren't really living in it the way we were. It was everywhere, you know, on every news outlet, on TV, on anywhere, everyone's, you know, schools are all canceled. So if you're not immersed in it, I don't want to stress people out. And I do believe that's the right approach to take because everyone's got their own challenges in their own life.

They don't need to start worrying about if Heather's gonna make it to speak at this event. And so I just chose not to say anything. If I have bad news, I'm gonna reach out, right? But if I have potentially good news, I'm just keeping it status quo, like of course I'm gonna be there, nothing new, nothing to be seen here, people. Well, my partner reaches out to me and says,

hey, I'm getting a little worried, saw what's happening, I'm hoping you're okay. I just sat back to her, I said, listen, still no way to know what's gonna happen because we were still 36 hours from, you know, impact. I said, so we don't really know yet. However, I'm highly optimistic I'll be able to get out. If anything goes awry and my flights are canceled, you will hear from me. Right? Like, I'd like to lead with that approach. If something bad is happening and it's definitive, you're going

to hear from me. I'm going to let you know immediately. But if you don't hear from me, it's all good. It's all good in the hood. Maybe not be great, but it's good. Right? So that's sort of the approach I took. As I mentioned, one of my best friends is out there. She's messaging me, what's the word and what's going on? And I told her, I said, listen, right now, I told you, this is different. This is someone that I've been very close to for 15 years. I said, listen, here's the thing.

It is not looking good outside right now. I have no idea as you know, things could change overnight. So I don't wanna get too tied to one outcome or the other. I will do everything within my power to be there, but I also want to set expectations correctly for you. I don't know if I'm going to make it. If there's a way to get out, I will. If there's not, I can't come.

And she understands that because she lives here too. She had just left for LA days before. I had to beat the hurricane, which was really smart. When you think about businesses growing their sales beyond forecasts, like Feastables by Mr. Beast or even a legacy business like Mattel, sure, you think about a product with demand, a focused brand, and influence-driven marketing. But an often overlooked secret is actually the businesses behind the business making selling and for shoppers buying simple for millions of businesses. That business is Shopify. Nobody does selling better than Shopify, home of the number one checkout on the planet and the not so

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Upgrade your business and get the same checkout that I use. Go right now and check it out on my page. Shopify is the answer. Sign up for your $1 per month trial period of Shopify.com slash Monahan, all lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash Monahan to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com slash Monahan. Okay, so it was just kind of a chaotic week and it became one of those game time decisions and it was interesting. We were watching the news, my son and I, and legitimately, you know, we had tropical storm winds in our house and flooding and rain, you know It was not great week

And so the weather was deteriorating quickly and we're watching the storm on the news And I'm supposed to be on a flight first thing in the morning heading to LA. My son's school had been canceled by this point I think they went to school two days last week. So he said to me, what are you going to do, Bob? I said, I don't know. I really want to go, but I just have a feeling it's not looking great. And I would keep checking the app, which is the only thing you could do. And it's still, flight is on, flight is on. And this is where I just go back to worrying is just a waste. Like to sit and worry if what if it does get canceled? You have no control over it. Like wait to worry, hope for the best, put the best out there, foresee things going amazing, whatever they're meant to be,

like however it's meant to be to play out, it's going to be amazing, it's going to be great, and it'll be for the best for all. That's kind of the attitude I try to employ in those situations because worrying is just going to rob you of your peace and any joy you could have in that moment, right? So here I am, I'm trying to think, I'm home with my son, watching a movie with him on the couch, he has no school, if I'm not doing that, I'm just sitting around worrying if I'm taking off, okay, let's focus on this moment

and be grateful for having this time with my child. So that was the option we took. We watched the hurricane right before bed, still not sure if it's a go or no go. And I said, I'm just going to go to bed tonight as if I'm going. So I said to my son, I said, there's no way you're going to be up in time. Cause he had no reason to get up. I said, so just anticipate, you're not going to see me in the morning. I'm going to be on a flight.

I will message you. And whenever you wake up, just let me know how you're doing. So I wake up in the morning, I look right away at my phone, and it looks to me like maybe the hurricane moved a little more north. And so I said, you know what? I'm just gonna go to the airport. And so I got dressed, ran to the airport,

and when I tell you I got to the airport and there wasn't a soul in there, it was the wildest thing ever. There was a handful of people there, no lines at the Miami airport, what? Said no one ever. There was a handful of people there. No lines at the Miami airport. What? Said no one ever. Usually it's pure chaos. No lines, no people got right to my gate, said my flight was on time, boarded my flight. I think there was a total of five people on the airplane. It was completely empty. It was the most surreal situation.

And a few people said to me, well, aren't you scared to fly? I was not because I knew, listen, this is what these people do for a living. If it was that bad and they couldn't fly around it, they're going to cancel the flight, right? And I just know that I know for boarding the plane, we're going to be fine. And so boarded the flight, it was literally the easiest trip to the airport, easiest flight of my entire career. And we got in 45 minutes early because there was no air traffic issues. You know, there was no problems at all because there's no planes leaving Miami. And I guess everybody else had,

you know, decided that flights weren't going to be going. So anyhow, point is this, I get in so early, I can't get into my hotel room. So there was like this whole backlog of other domino effect problems that occurred because I never thought I was even actually going to be there. And then I was, and then I couldn't get into the hotel. And then I had to get ready for the event and blah, blah, blah. First world problem after first world problem. However, like you're in it, let's make it work. And we did, and it ended up being a great trip.

And I'm so grateful I got to be there. In any moment that you get the chance to show up for people that show up for you, you gotta do it, right? Like whenever you can, you really want to because it means so much. You know, it's just a special thing. It doesn't happen every time, right? There's plenty of times that we can't make it

to somebody's event. I was so grateful to be able to be there for her, to show up for somebody who shows up for me all the time. Okay, so during this time before I was so grateful to be able to be there for her, to show up for somebody who shows up for me all the time. Okay, so during this time before I was heading out, a number of people were reaching out to me saying, I think you should cancel on both of your events for your friend and for your partner because it's too dangerous, it doesn't look good, right?

Like worrying, worrying, worrying. And again, listen, I get it, right? But I was trying not to do that. I wanna expect the best and put that out there and then just handle it as it comes. I wanted to walk you through a couple of different ways you can handle something if you do want to decline because there are going to be times you can't be... listen, the reality is if the hurricane hit I was not leaving my kid here. It wasn't even if I could get out, right?

I was if he was not gonna be safe. I was not leaving and I'm not gonna apologize for that. That was like the one thing I was clear on. Yes, if I can get out, I'll go, but if I can get out and it's still questionable, if Miami's going to be okay, I'm not going. So I'd already made that decision. I had that clarity. I was not going to be, you know, no one was going to talk me into anything other than that. So I started thinking, how would people handle this situation if they felt like a lot of pressure that they should be somewhere and they did not want to go

any longer because of a situation that had arisen that was unexpected. So I wanted to give you three different ways that you can handle declining an event when it just isn't ideal for you anymore. Right? I did not do that. I went, it all worked out. My son was fine. He had a couple days off. He was psyched. Actually he was so happy. Got to sleep in every day. Got to work out, had a blast. I was like, actually, so happy. Got to sleep in every day, got to work out, had a blast. I was able to make my event, right? Like everything worked out so much better than expected. Again, reminder, do not worry.

Wait to worry because everything worked out. And actually got into LA 45 minutes earlier than I've ever gotten in. It was wild how easy things actually came to be. However, if you had been here in my home that week leading up to it, you would have never thought that would have been the outcome.

I certainly did not anticipate it to be that easy. Okay, so here are three different ways you can decline going to an event when it's just not feasible, possible, or just not what you want, right? Again, that was not my situation, but I'm gonna give you some ways to handle it. All right, somebody asks you to go to something like this and you have a horrible situation

with weather and you're in your mind. That's not something you want to deal with. A great way to handle something like that is instead of apologizing, right? Which puts you at fault. You're not at fault when you just are deciding you don't want to attend something for your own reasons. That's your privilege. That's your choice. That's up your privilege. That's your choice.

That's up to you. It's your decision. So instead of apologizing, which puts you beneath somebody else or to blame, instead you say to them, I really appreciate you understanding. And it was funny, I have another best friend happens to be two hours north of me right now. I just got back from LA and she had asked if I wanted to come up and see her and a bunch of her friends for dinner tonight. And of course I wanted to see them. I love these people. They're incredible. But the idea after just getting back off this flight and I haven't even unpacked yet and my son has school tomorrow and I have work tomorrow and I haven't gone to the grocery store and I haven't done it. It just didn't seem feasible for me. Yes, of course I wanted to go, but it didn't seem feasible. Instead of saying I'm so sorry that I can't do this, I just got back from LA, I said to her, I said, listen, I

would so appreciate it if you could understand that I am exhausted, completely not prepared, and while I would love to see you, I just, I can't make it work right now. And she said, no problem. I completely understand. And then I was able to thank her and say thank you Thank you so much for understanding. I so love you. I so appreciate and love you. Thank you, right? But don't blame yourself. You don't need to apologize You can thank that other person you can show gratitude and you're taking the presumptive close. That's the other thing That's super smart. You're setting them up to say I so appreciate your understanding with this

I so appreciate your help with this. Thank you for understanding. It's hard to unravel that on the other side and say, no, I refuse to be understanding. Right? So you're taking the assumption of clothes, which is really, really smart. Okay. Another thing you could say is, you know what? Unfortunately, this isn't going to work for me. Again, you're not blaming yourself. You're not blaming them, but you're just saying, unfortunately, this isn't going to work. So just really simple to the point. The third one is, while this is not going to work, how about you and I find a compromise on something that could work for both of us? Meaning to my friend who's two hours away right now, who I would love to see, I'm not going to be able to do this, but I will come see you in November for Thanksgiving. Right? Like coming up with an alternative solution

that is different than the one that's on the table, but is mutually beneficial for both of you. So you don't need to blame yourself, you don't need to apologize, you don't need to get all upset and worked up. You can either say, I appreciate your understanding. You can say, unfortunately, this won't work for me. Or you can say, let's find a compromise that works for both of us. And remove the emotion from it. Saying no to one thing is saying yes to something else. And for me saying no to going to that dinner tonight

meant I could say yes to making my son dinner. I could say yes to getting the groceries for the week. I could say yes to doing laundry, getting my house organized so that I feel really good about my son situation tomorrow, my week tomorrow. Right, like it's going to set me up for a big win nice so that I feel really good about my son situation tomorrow, my week tomorrow. Right? Like it's going to set me up for a big win versus if I went to a dinner late tonight two hours away, I think we all know what's going to happen.

I'm going to get home really late. I'm going to be exhausted. Yeah. I'm going to have had a blast, which I love having fun with my friends. However, this wasn't the day for it. So you don't need to give anyone excuses. You don't need to apologize to anybody You don't need to over explain you can keep it short. I appreciate you understanding. Unfortunately, this won't work for me Let's find a compromise that works for both of us. Love it. Love it. Love it. Okay, so choose you and you know

What good friends are gonna appreciate that they're going to Understand it and they're going to support you in it and everyone's gonna keep it moving. Okay so I have been getting so many messages to my clone, my digital clone at Heather Monahan.com. I also have a phone number for her. I have posted it numbers of times. This probably is in the show notes right now if you want to call her. You literally can call me live. It's my AI clone. It's me. It's so wild. Okay, so this week I was seeing that for whatever reason, a lot of people were sending her messages.

So I'm going to go through the messages that I received and answer the questions live. Live Heather, not AI Heather. However, I'm sure AI Heather answered all of these already, probably exactly like I will. But if you haven't checked her out yet, check her out, HeatherMontaghan.com. She is the digital avatar on my site and she will give you answers just like speaking to the real me. Okay. I have this tool. The whole thing is incredible.

It's by a company called Delphi, the cloning company. They're amazing to work with. You can have your own digital clone. They're amazing. Anyways, they send me reports daily, weekly, and monthly to let me know what people are asking. So today, it said, an important insight is a significant number of messages revolve around building confidence in various contexts with multiple users asking for actionable steps

and tips to enhance self-assurance in business and personal settings. So I want to explain something. In any moment, you can choose to channel another person, another persona. Beyonce channels her inner Sasha Fierce before she takes the stage, right? This is one of the biggest performers in the world. So if she needs to do that occasionally, I think it's fine for you too as well.

As you know, I was at my event in LA this week and after the event was wrapping up, a woman came up to me and said, this is a very similar question. She said, Heather, I'm a CEO of my company. I have my board meeting tomorrow. And she said, this is a very similar question. She said, Heather, I'm a CEO of my company. I have my board meeting tomorrow. And she said, this one gentleman really has been upsetting me and I've been finding myself standing up

and raising my voice to him because he keeps speaking over me. Okay, that's not gonna build your confidence. And this is what I explained to her. I said, listen, number one, channel your inner Heather Monahan or channel your inner whoever you want to that you feel like would handle a situation better. Right? When you step into a different persona, it's going to empower you to behave differently. I

highly suggest you doing that until you're able to embody yourself, right? You want to be yourself in the end, but sometimes we're all gonna be there where I'm gonna channel my inner whoever it's gonna be to come through and manage this for me right now. I've done it many times. It works, right? I have done it more in my personal life because I have a tendency to be harder and bring my business persona into personal life. And so I channel one of my girlfriends who's the sweetest, softest, most gentle person in the world. And when I am dealing with a relationship situation, I channel my inner Samantha, right?

So you can channel different people in different situations. I am dealing with a relationship situation, I channel my inner Samantha, right? So you can channel different people in different situations and it just reminds you, oh, I don't have to be negotiating. I don't have to be, I can just be me. And you know, that's what channeling my inner Samantha means to me. So be thoughtful and intentional

about who you're going to channel in these different situations and it will set you up for success in whatever it is you're trying to tap into inside of yourself. So I explained to this woman to channel her, enter Heather Monahan or whoever she needed to. The next thing I said was this,

remember it's a meeting. You were invited at the meeting. You are wanted to be there. You own a seat at the meeting. Okay, so that's confidence tip number one. You were invited. You are wanted. Then two for her was she's a CEO.

It's her meeting. This is your meeting. You don't need to stand up to him. He needs to back down to you her meeting. This is your meeting. You don't need to stand up to him. He needs to back down to you, right? This is your meeting. You invited him to the meeting. But here's the thing, by standing up, punching your feet on the table, yelling, raising your voice,

all of that takes your confidence away from you. What is really powerful is to sit very quietly, very, you know, posture's really important. 90% of communication is nonverbal. Your face, how you're sitting, how you're positioning yourself. If you start getting hot and sweating and standing up, you're losing it. You're unraveling. You're reacting to what somebody else is doing. We always want to have all of the grace, class, and poise within us

and sit tall with confidence, quietly thinking, articulating, and responding with class and grace, right? So that's powerful. And the fewer words, even better, even better. And we don't need to explain ourselves. So what I suggested to her was if he begins speaking over you, which you're telling me he's done before, let's prepare for that now. He starts speaking over you. You say, excuse me, I'm confused. And pause and let him say, what are you confused about? And then say, I was not done with my thought.

I'm sure you did not mean to interrupt me. I'd like to finish my thought. That's a really powerful way, very classy, with a lot of grace. You're not fighting, you're not standing up, you're not punching the table, you're not yelling, but you are showing authority and you're giving respect and you're asking for mutual respect back,

which is fair and kind in the way people should behave in any situation. Right? So own your power. When you have moments like that, your confidence will skyrocket because you'll be so proud of yourself. You're gonna be like, oh yeah, I just did that. Okay, I just shut down that terrible behavior and I did it in a really powerful, professional, classy way. And I'm proud of me. Yeah, you might be a little bit nervous when you first do it, but the more you step into the nervous, the more you step into these new situations, the more proud and confident

you will become. Okay, so that's a great way to build confidence. Stop apologizing. I've been talking about this today. Too often people apologize and blame themselves for a thing. Instead, switch to gratitude. Thank others. Tell them you appreciate their understanding. That's a really strong, powerful move. Do things that you like to do around people you like to be around. Fire your villains. Get rid of negative people from your life, negative situations, negative habits from

your life. Get rid of clutter from your life. Get rid of anything negative from your life. Create space for positive and watch positive begin to show up for you. That is another incredible way to build confidence. When you strategically decide to remove negative people, places, things, and experiences from your life, you're choosing you. That's a confidence builder. Journaling is a great way to build confidence. It really helps you to get in touch with your inner voice. When you get in touch with your inner voice, act on it. The more you act on your inner voice and your intuition, the more you build confidence within you. Be accepting of

yourself. And one of the best ways to do that is to forgive yourself. One of the best ways to forgive yourself is to start by forgiving others, right? The harder we are on other people, the harder we're gonna honestly be on ourselves, right? So if you're putting other people down and saying, oh, they're stupid, they're fat, they look awful, they're not nice, they're nasty, they shouldn't do that, inevitably you're gonna have that same conversation with yourself, right? You have more dialogue and more conversation with yourself

than you do with anybody else in the world. So if you're spewing hatred and negativity at others, you're going to do it to you too. Rewrite that narrative and start spewing kindness, thoughtfulness, and acceptance to others. Yes, you can be aware of things you don't like, that's fine. But the more understanding and accepting you are of others, the more understanding and accepting you will be of yourself. That is a confidence building moment. And as you notice things you don't like about yourself, commit to changing those habits,

commit to changing those practices, own your behavior. If you don't like how you snapped at your child, maybe give it a little bit of time and circle back. And an hour later, come back and say, I wanted to come in and let you know, I don't like how I responded to that conversation we had. I don't like that I raised my voice and I'm working on that right now. And you're gonna see, this is not gonna happen again. I'm owning this and I don't like it and I'm changing it.

Right, the more that you own who you are, accept who you are and are aware of who you are, the more you can tweak the things that you don't like, be proud of the things that you do like. I'm always writing down things I'm super proud of myself, like, oh my gosh, great job doing that, Heather. You need to be your number one cheerleader too, right? As much as you wanna forgive yourself

and be self-aware and be accepting, we also wanna be a champion for ourselves too, right? If we don't see our own value, why would anybody else? If we're not a champion for us, why would anybody else be a champion for ourselves too. If we don't see our own value, why would anybody else? If we're not a champion for us, why would anybody else be a champion for us? So start truly celebrating you and whoever you uniquely are. But own it, rock it, and you don't need to feel embarrassed about it. And the more you start showing up and doing and celebrating those little things and stepping into the things you like doing, the more stronger and more confident you're gonna feel and become. Meet a different guest each week.

Paying on a date. Confidence created. Confidence created. I ask you to try to find your passion. She's having fun. Okay, so those are some good tips for you. All right, there is a clear interest in career transitions with users seeking guidance on finding their niche for successful pivots and advice for managing stress

and anxiety during a job interview. Okay, so a couple of things. In regards to career transitions and seeking guidance on finding your niche, okay, I've done a number of things with Dean Graziosi and Tony Robbins, and I've got another event coming up with them at the end of this month. This event will help you so much with this. So be on the lookout. I'm going to share the link.

I'm going to make sure that you can get a seat at this event. It's three days. This is going to solve that problem for you. So I'm hyped up. It's happening in October. I think it's a 24th, 25th, 26th. Your girl's going to be speaking. I can't wait for you to hear and that's gonna answer your problem. We're gonna have some solutions for you and I'm really excited for you to see what they are. Okay, so that's one.

Two, how to manage stress and anxiety during a job interview. Desperate is so unattractive, right? And the more, I know people don't like to hear that, but the truth, if you're not desperate for that one interview, because you've got 10 or 20, you don't need to be stressed out and anxious about it.

It isn't the end of the world. You know what? Those people are lucky if they get you. It's the end of the world if they don't get you. You got to flip the way that you see it, flip the script. The more desperate you are that it is the only thing, the more stress and anxiety you're going to have, the more you see that there's millions of opportunities out there. You can start your own side hustle.

There's thousands of other companies you can go to work for. You can work remotely for different countries if you want to in this day and age, right? There's so much you can do. And there's so much opportunity approach from that standpoint. And if they don't get you, that's their loss, poor things. You feel bad for those people. As you approach things with those attitudes, your stress goes down, your anxiety goes down. And the other thing is practice. You've got to practice. The more reps you put in, the less stressful and anxious you need to be.

So don't approach it from a place of desperation. It's the only job in the world. Of course, your stress and anxiety is going to come unhinged just like dating. If every day you go on, you approach it that this is the only person in the world to go out with. You're going to be desperate to land that date and get a second date and whatever else after. But if you embrace that, you're an amazing person, you're gonna attract the right people to you.

There's millions of single people out there in the world. You just haven't found the right one yet, but you will. And you're one step closer because of one bad date, one bad interview, whatever it may be, right? Listen, there can be so many nos, all you need is one yes. And I am reminded that from, I applied to 100 TEDx talks before I landed my 101st. That's my TEDx talk that got promoted to TED and translated into five languages. Right? We nailed it. But it took 101 pitches to get there.

So don't focus so much on the nos. Focus on all it takes is that one yes. And the only way you're not gonna find the right job, the right date, the right career is by settling for the wrong one. Hold out for what's right for you. Never settle. And then I got this one, this is so interesting, okay, the conversation also is touching on personal interests including skincare routines, balancing dating with professional responsibilities, indicating a desire for relatable insight and personal connection. So this is interesting.

I have an episode coming up where a friend of mine who's a matchmaker and I sit down and we do talk about dating. So I'm going to get into that. Let me know if you want to hear more about that stuff. Listen, I got plenty I can share with you around all of that. But the crux of it is this, to approach things as who you really are, to show up as that best version of yourself. If getting in a relationship is important to you, make it a priority.

Make it a priority in your life. Show up as that best version of you. And remember, you don't need to be desperate. It's not the only single person on the planet. There's millions, if not billions of single people out there. Don't settle for the wrong one, and then you'll find the right one. As far as skincare goes, oh my gosh, that's millions, if not billions of single people out there. Don't settle for the wrong one, and then you'll find the right one. As far as skincare goes, oh my gosh, that's wild because my skincare journey is an interesting one. It is ridiculous. I probably spend more money, time, and effort on my skin than anything else in the past two decades of my life. I mean, we've done everything from lasers to a blade of lasers to retinol to filler

to Botox to no more filler, no more Botox. Right? Like I've been all, Thermage, all Thera. I mean, I've done a lot of different things and I'll tell you different things are going to work for different people. Right? People have different skin. People have different concerns.

People have different whatever it may be. But I also think it comes back to sleep, working out. These are things that are non-negotiable for me, you know, vitamins, like what type of supplements you're taking. All these things are factors. How happy you are in life. I'm not gonna lie. Whenever I'm in love, I look better.

I think that's the case for everybody, right? So like it just goes back to get a good night's sleep, do the work that you love, help people, do right. Like make yourself feel proud of who you are, attract the right people to you and don't settle for the wrong ones. Spend time with people that make you feel beautiful and then you won't focus so much on how your skin looks. That's a great tip for myself as well. Okay. So I hope that answers some of your questions. As always, you can go to Heather Monahan.com. You can submit questions for the podcast there. You can go to at Heather Monahan, LinkedIn, Instagram,

Twitter, Facebook, wherever you want and throw me a question. I will always answer it for you every week on the show. I'm so grateful you're here. I would appreciate it if you could share the show with one person that you think it could help. Please get them to subscribe. Nobody succeeds alone.

And that includes your girl right here. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. Hey team, if you're enjoying this podcast where we delve into high achieving people with transformative lives, then I have an exciting recommendation just for you. Introducing the Ty Ease Gibson podcast, a show that dives into creating long lasting change by starting at the subconscious level. Did you know 95% of our conscious decisions are actually determined by our subconscious?

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