Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #63: Tracy Tutor of Million Dollar Listing: How To Successfully Manage Big Deals & High-End Personalities With Composure & Authority

Episode Date: July 14, 2020

 What do you do when you come across big egos while trying to close that big deal? Large personalities often come with the territory when working with powerful people and that does not always make for smooth sailing. If you’ve ever watched Million Dollar Listing, you’ll have seen that Tracy Tutor is a veteran in knowing how to navigate a room that has all these elements while closing that big deal on the table with as little casualties as possible.  About The Guest: With 20 years of experience, Tracy Tutor is one of the top agents at Douglas Elliman Beverly Hills and is an integral part of their Sports & Entertainment division. She has an undeniably strong presence and a confidence that has propelled her into the rooms of some of the most powerful people in LA, representing some of the most noteworthy brands in real estate, and iconic architects such as Frank Gehry, John Lautner, and Pierre Koenig. Tracy has consulted for the luxury five-star hotel and resort, Amangiri in Canyon Point, Utah on the sales of over $400 million in branded real estate. She is also a representative of one of the most exciting new developments to come to Los Angeles, the West Hollywood EDITION Hotel and Residences, designed by British architect John Pawson and created by visionary hotelier Ian Schrager. Most recently, she has been chosen to be the US Ambassador for the Royal Atlantis Resort and Residences in Dubai, a breathtaking structure designed by award-winning architecture firm Kohn Pedersen Fox, and is also an Ambassador for Costa Palmas, on the East Cape of Los Cabos, where the Amanvari and Four Seasons have a robust villa offering luxury beachfront living at its finest. In Q3 of 2019, Tracy landed the biggest local residential portfolio of her career, The Malibu Series by Scott Gillen, a collection of architecturally significant homes in Malibu valued at close to $500 million. A native to California, Tracy has lived all over Los Angeles, from Hidden Hills to the Hollywood Hills. Growing up the daughter of Ronald Tutor (Tutor/Perini), one of the most successful civil and building contractors in the country, Tracy was introduced to real estate at an early age. Shortly after graduating from the University of Southern California she went to work for her father, acquiring a wealth of knowledge and a steadfast work ethic. After almost three years at Tutor/Perini, Tracy transitioned into a career in residential real estate and has never looked back. While expanding her business world-wide and taking on more new developments, Tracy strives to maintain a work-life balance by spending time with her family and friends. Finding Tracy Tutor: Buy her book Fear Is Just a Four-Letter Word: How to Develop the Unstoppable Confidence to Own Any Room Visit her website: https://www.tracytutor.com Instagram: @tracytutor  Twitter: @thetracytutor To inquire about my coaching program opportunity visit https://mentorship.heathermonahan.com/ Review this podcast on Apple Podcast using this LINK and when you DM me the screen shot, I buy you my $299 video course as a thank you!  My book Confidence Creator is available now! get it right HERE If you are looking for more tips you can download my free E-book at my website and thank you! https://heathermonahan.com *If you'd like to ask a question and be featured during the wrap up segment of Creating Confidence, contact Heather Monahan directly through her website and don’t forget to subscribe to the mailing list so you don’t skip a beat to all things Confidence Creating! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so excited that you're here. Thank you for coming back and hanging with me. It means the world to me.

Okay, so crazy things going on as per normal. You know, this whole COVID situation, and I'm sure many of you are having trouble focusing and for those of you who are stuck inside and it can get kind of frustrating. So it was sort of interesting this week. It reminded me about the importance and power of accountability, which we really need to check ourselves with often in this current situation specifically, but really in general against what our goals are and what we're trying to achieve big picture, not just the mundane tactics that were implementing day to day. So as you know, I signed on with Harper Collins leadership to bring my new book, Leapfrogging Villains, to you next

year in 2021. Oh my gosh, we cannot wait. All of us cannot wait for 2021. So with that being said, things have moved so slow during this process. And my agent was telling me it's because publishing is really traditional and they weren't operating in a way that they could go virtual and everything's taking long. She was right. I was guessing I'm sure you can feel my pain on this. Maybe they're backing out. Why is no one contacting us? I did act like a lunatic a couple of times and ask my agent, do you think they're dropping it? Maybe they don't want to do a deal during pandemic. I had all of those crazy doubt ideas come into my head. Good news, peeps. Deal has been executed. and I'm now on deadline, which is so weird, right?

You go from this unknown phase where nothing's happening. All you hear is crickets. I hate crickets. And then all of a sudden, boom, oh, your first draft is due and blah, blah, blah. So I was really excited to finally hear back from them and get the executed contract. Now what that meant is get to work. And I'd actually already written the book. But because we redid the book proposal 15 times, 15th time for the week.

I don't want to do the book 15 times. So I know that I need to go back in and re-see my original work through these new eyes of the book proposal knowing what they bought. So basically I'm going to go back into my original work and I'm going to take the learnings and teachings my agent taught me through the 15 version book proposal to really try to have that same systematic approach to each chapter and the holistic entity of the book. So this will be interesting. So I haven't been doing it because I didn't know what was going.

on, well, now I need to do it. And here's where I held myself accountable. And here's what I want you to remember, you have the power to do this at any point in time in your life. I called the one person I knew would put me on deadline and fast. And that's my editor. And so I said, I need to set up a call with you. And he loves to Zoom. He's a great guy. His name's Peter. And so we got right away the next day or two days later, we got on a Zoom together. And I said, listen, the contract came in. We're alive. We need to get this book done. And I said, I don't know. I've never done a book with a publisher. He's done, I don't know, 20 or 30. I said, Peter, what does the timing look like? How do you lay it out? And I've got my pen and paper out. And he said, okay, we've got X amount of chapters. We've got X amount of months left. Let's, you know,

do the math. And let's pick a cadence that we're submitting. And his suggestion was seven chapters a month, Heather, you submit to me. I'll be editing and working on them while you're editing and working on the next seven. and then we keep that flow. He said, if we do that, we'll hit that deadline. Fine. We'll be in advance of a couple months just to give us some space. So, okay, now I had a deadline. Now I had a timeline.

Now I had committed to another person. I had written everything down and I had to give myself a date. I said, okay, so when is the first cycle of seven due? He said, August 1st. So, holy cow, guess what I'll be doing on my weekends now is editing my chapters from my book that we are working to get ready for you, and I'm super excited for it. But by having him hold me accountable, by having him, someone who's been through the process so many more times than I have, I knew that I could lean on his expertise for what that

right strategy or cadence the way that he said, where it wouldn't crush me, it wouldn't crush him, but we could get the workflow going and hit the deadlines in time. So I actually feel less overwhelmed about it versus how I felt before when I saw the contract come in and thought, oh my gosh, thing is due, seeing how he broke it down into multiple pieces that I can manage and knowing that he's in it with me and that we agreed upon and committed to dates together, lets me be held accountable and get it done. So the process is in motion. Hold yourself accountable whenever you're doubting anything or unclear on something. And to that point, I actually just started my new July mentoring program,

and I was working with one of my new peeps, a really cool guy out in California. And he was explaining to me that he was stuck. I love when I hear that people are stuck because we can get you unstuck. And I said, okay, tell me more about that. What does being stuck look like? And he started explaining, well, I have all these opportunities that have been coming to me based upon my job and, you know, different ways I could go with it and different jobs I could take because of how well I've done in my current role, or I could stay in my current role and continue to attempt to be promoted within the division I'm currently in. And so I asked him this question, which I challenge you to ask yourself, fast forward five years from today. And when you look back, which choice do you wish you had made?

So he started talking through it. It was so cool. He said, okay, if I go the new direction and try something new. If I end up not liking it, I could always go back because the people love me where I am now. He said, if I don't go that new direction, I'm going to really regret trying. I said, okay, so your decision's easy then. You're going to go the new direction and give it a shot. And he said, I guess I am.

So the next thing was, all right, how am I going to hold you accountable to this? What is the next step that you're taking? Because we're only stuck when we're not clear on what we want. We're either blocked by self-doubt. We don't believe it's possible or we don't know where the tiny little step to begin. And I'll tell you, for me, that was like writing the book. I had to Google, okay, how do you write a book? You write X amount of hours a day.

It was the first day sitting down with the pen and just write. didn't go great, but it didn't matter. I knew if I just started, you will get momentum and you will get clarity. That will happen through the act of doing. So sitting on the sidelines will not bring you the clarity. You're not going to have an epiphany moment or if you do, hey, kudos to you. That doesn't happen for me. I get moving in a direction and that reveals if it's the right direction. But I know I'll figure it out by going down the path, which has totally been the case as an entrepreneur and how different my business continues to pivot and change. So take the first step, get clear, ask yourself the question if it was five years from now. What would I be thinking? I think that's a really

helpful question that I try to ask myself to. And then you've got to see, you know, how are you spending your time? What's the ROI on your time? I was on another call with another one of my teammates today. And he's telling me, he's vetting all these employees for these open positions. And I said, oh, my gosh, how many hours a day is that taking you? He said, oh, it's consuming so much of my time. I said, but that doesn't deliver against your revenue numbers. You're wasting your time. Assign that task to somebody else. And he did have that epiphany moment.

He said, oh, my gosh, you're right. I was just trying to get work done and not even realizing it's not affecting the company's top line revenue, which is ultimately his responsibility. So, you know, again, evaluate how you're spending your time. I definitely look at an analysis each week on how productive was I. Where were the glitches? Where did I get held up? What could I do differently next week?

How can I be more efficient or who could I tap that maybe could help me become more efficient or who could I task this too if this isn't ultimately the best job for me to be taking on? And through these various conversations and trials and errors, I find so much out there in the world that I didn't even knew existed. I mean, again, I was in the same business for 20-something years and I lived in this little bubble and now I'm out of the bubble. and I'll tell you, I'm learning so much, and I'm learning a lot about automation. And basically what automation means is you not having to do everything, but software, apps, systems, other people doing things for you so that you can make money while you sleep, which is a beautiful thing. So this week, I just found out about LinkedIn having automation that can send messages to your contacts when you're sleeping, pre-recorded drip campaigns. it's unbelievable the results people are getting with this.

It blew me away that here I am. I'm omnipresent on LinkedIn. I'm on LinkedIn. That's where I spend more of my time than any social media. I post since I met with Gary B. Probably 10 times a day and he told me to increase my post. I've done it in frequency delivers, showing up there all the time delivers, but I could have been delivering and converting at a much higher level.

And I didn't realize that. It was just I hadn't been exposed to the information. that was out there yet. I guess it's relatively, you know, still new in some areas, at least in my world, it's still new. And I was able to, in two days, came across two different people using the same technology and both explained to me how unbelievable this tool was for their business. One was using it to convert people into listeners to her podcast. Again, she was sleeping, she could be working, she didn't have to be involved. She set it up and let it run. And this messaging was going out on behalf of her to connect to other people, which is fantastic. And then another person I

met with is actually selling programs via these campaigns that are going out on behalf of her. She's, you know, decided on the copywriting that's going to go on and the text and the actual message, but she's converting business and selling clients while she's nowhere near LinkedIn and not involved with it at all. So again, these are just these random little pieces of information I pick up during the week, being exposed to so many different people, asking a lot of questions, and trying to find out what's working for people, you're going to see. Some of the things will work. Some will look back and we'll say, oh, that wasn't, you know, the greatest investment of time.

But that's okay. That's how we continue to learn and to grow. And I actually had a super funny situation that just occurred, which I'm going to share with you right now, about learning and growing and not feeling bad about failing. I was a guest on a podcast, and it was a team of hosts. So there's a group of them and me. And at the end, one of the guys said, I'm going to go Heather Monaghan, Gary Vee, on you.

And I knew what he meant. He was going to pitch me to come on my show the same way I had pitched Gary Vee to go on his show while we were on air together. And I said, oh, I know what you're doing. So I was kind of excited to hear his pitch. And I said, okay, go. And he said, can I come on your show? And I very quickly said, no. That was a terrible pitch.

Nobody would say yes to that. And I said, let me walk you through what a better. pitch would be and or let me walk you through what I did with Gary Vee. I said number one, I consumed so many of Gary V's episode. I know who his audiences. I see the messages. I know he has a lot of women that are listening. However, I also know he doesn't have a lot of female guests. I understand his audience. I know their pain points and I know what he's providing for them. So my pitch to him was going to be around the angle. Don't you think there could be more value add if you had more female guest. I opened up with that question earlier before we went on air to get him thinking in that

regard. I shared with him many times that I loved his show. I gave him specific examples of guests, female guests that he'd had on that I knew that I thought did a great job that I took value from. I work in private with his EA and talked to him about the best way to approach him and pitch him. So I got inside tips on individually what he thought might work. And then I employed all those tactics live on air so that he was already thinking about it. I already had the information from his assistant. I already knew what the audience was looking for and wanted and what I could deliver, how I could solve problems for them and make him look good. That's a pitch, right? You want to solve the problem, bring the value, you want to make it easy for people. You want to put yourself in

their shoes so that it's really hard for them to say no. Why would they say no? You're delivering a great product to their audience. It's not costing them anything and it's making them look great. And you're solving a white space that they aren't solving on their own. They're not filling on their own. So that's more of what I would suggest for a pitch. So I had no problem saying no to this gentleman. And I did share with them, here's how you could pitch me better or pitch someone else better in the future. And he said, oh, epic fail. And I said, no, it's not an epic fail. It's an epic teaching moment. I have a lot of experience in sales and you do not. You know, we all can't be great at everything. We can only learn at first time experiences. That was his first time pitching himself. So it's not

going to go seamlessly. We're going to learn from it, pick up, move on and get better, just like each one of us do every single day in this grind. So hoping that you are getting better, hoping that you are taking some knowledge from this and hopefully, you know, like me, that you're learning every day as clumsy and confusing and overwhelming as it can be some days. I'm super grateful for the great people that I'm meeting that are teaching me about all these tools out there and learning more and more about automation because AI really is the future and that's the artificial intelligence and the automation and moving to ways where business can get done without such high touch. So constantly be evaluating how can you implement different products and support systems to help

you automate your business, automate your replies, maybe even automate your outreach on LinkedIn. So hang tight. We're going to be right back and you are going to love my guest. Meet a different guest. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so excited for you to meet Tracy Tudor. Thank you for being here, Tracy. Thank you for having me, Heather. You're so sweet to bring me on. Oh my gosh, you're so sweet to work with me as we got through some technology issues here today. Well, you know, we're still getting on board with this whole Zoom thing. But, you know, we're going to manage it. We're going to get through it. Yeah, I have to tell you, you seem a very cool, very calm and very together in this crazy world. How are you keeping it so together? Well, first of all, I'm lucky enough to actually be living in California where the weather has been beautiful and it gets to go outside and it's not freezing. And I don't live in a 400 square foot.

apartment on the East Coast. So I feel blessed to be like, you know, right now, and I'm just grateful for my health. And so, yeah, I'm going to wake up every day. I'm just taking advantage of this. Listen, if it wasn't for a pandemic, I think that we should all be taking quarantine for two weeks every year where we just kind of have to stay home and we're not allowed to work and we can't go on vacation because I feel like you kind of get back to taking care of yourself, you know? Yeah. Well, how did you go ahead and not get fat when all I've done over here with my 12-year-old is eat all of his snacks. Oh my God, you're hysterical. Well, first of all, I am quarantining with a trainer.

So that is super helpful. I've just been working out everything. I'm not going to lie. I'm eating like a tank. I like took down banana bread last night. You know, I mean, I'm eating, but I am working out literally seven days of week. So I'm kind of just building muscle. and it's been kind of fun to watch it.

Like I actually am seeing a transformation in my body that, like, I haven't had in a long-ass time. Oh, I am so jealous. That is like the ideal person to quarantine with either a newt. You'd either have to have a nutritionist or a trainer. Either one, but that, I'm so down with that and that will be my next goal. By the way, don't think I wasn't thinking that through. I'm like, oh, wait, who's going, who do I need in this house that is allowed to be around me?

during this time. I mean, who knows how long this is going to last. So, you know, better take the trainer. Okay. I like the way that you think. I'm totally with you. So when people see you today, they see you on million dollar listing. You're beautiful. You're confident. You've got everything together. Has it always been this way? Were you just born like this? My dad and mom would say that I always had like a little bit of grip. But listen, it took me a long time to like be like 1,000% in my body. confident with who I am. You know, I think you know that it's inside of you when you're a kid. And particularly when you get into those awkward years, being a teenager, like, you either

have the ability to recover quickly or you don't. And I think that's what as like a young woman growing up, you start to see in your 20s. And that's where it gets a little hairy. And, you know, I think for myself, now that I'm literally 44 years old and, you know, dating again. and I'm a single mom of two teenage girls, I feel like I've got it. You know, like I'm like, oh, this is who I am.

And now I'm not going to make apologies for it. And you know what? That's really frigging refreshing. And I think a lot of women appreciate that. You know, it starts with like, you know, fear. And we all have to kind of figure out what that is for us. And I think I kind of figured it out. Well, clearly you did with the launch of your new book,

Fear is just a four-letter word. How did that even come to be? You know, I had the platform to do million dollar listing. And I was very excited and honored to be the first woman that was a full-time cast member on the show with, you know, these incredible guys that I get to work with who are incredibly successful. So being the only woman on the show and having that platform, I recognized that I had the ability to share what I've been through selling real estate, high-end real estate, for the last 20 years in. one of like the premier cities in the world. So I made a lot of mistakes along the way. I've had a lot of crazy frigging clients. I've been in a lot of powerful rooms with incredible people. And I think the failures and the successes that I've had and the stories that I share in that book are a piece of

of me. And I thought, you know what? I should share that with young women and even women that want to get back into the workplace like myself, you know, going through a divorce and finding myself again. And I think in that moment, I was like, you know what? I really feel like I have something to say here, you know? Like I have so many girlfriends of mine that, you know, are in their early 40s or late 30s with a couple of kids and they're in an unhappy marriage that they can't leave because they're like, oh, I used to be a lawyer, but I gave that all up. Now what?

And it's like, well, what do you mean now what? You used to be a lawyer. You're a talented ass woman. Get out there and go get it. Like you're not like over the hill. And for the young women that are coming out of college or in their early 20s and kind of like trying to find that path, this book gives you, I think, the tips to learn how to embrace that confidence. You know, also understand your fears and what really makes you tick and then in turn be able to figure out how to walk into any room and own it. So what are some of the strategies that you share that people can implement in their life today to allow them to step into fear?

You know, I think it's really about understanding big personalities. And, you know, I talk about four different personalities in the book, you know, a couple of them being like a creative type, someone that you walk into a room that is really inspiring and has just a ton going on. But those are the types of people that are really hard to get focused, right? You can learn a lot from those type of people. But if you can't keep them centered and focused on the goal of whatever that meeting is or whatever your goal is for getting that job or that whatever it is that you're doing listing appointment or negotiation you have to be able to control that type of person. And so I'll give you tips on how to manage a creative personality. And then there's the domineering personality, that

aggressive ego-driven guy or female even. And I'll give, I talk about what that's like. And you know, you really have to learn how to navigate allowing someone with an ego to feel heard and feel like they run the room, but then you've got to come in the back door and know how to get your point across. Otherwise, you're just going to be a wilted flower that isn't going to be heard. And, you know, you want to be successful. You're going to be around a lot of very successful people. And those people oftentimes are not weak. And if you walk into a room like that, you have to be prepared to deal with those kind of personalities and know how to figure out who they are quickly. Have you ever been intimidated dealing with one of those domineering personalities?

So many times. Like, again, I've been doing this 20 years. There's been times where I've totally blown it and I've walked into a room and been caught off guard or thrown by an ego asshole. And then there have been times where I've gotten sucked into the creative person and the direction and they've completely thrown me off course. You know, I think one of the story that I've told before and I share it much more in depth in my book is recently I was at Soho Beach House in Malibu,

and I was having a meeting with a very, very important client of mine about a property. And there was a buyer that had been interested in the entirety of the portfolio, which was worth in and around $400 to $500 million. And I was really tentative to put those two big personalities together. One, my client is the complete lunatic. And you'll see a little bit of that on Million Dollar listing season 12 this season. And the buyer also was just a fast-talking, you know, finance guy, big ego. And so I was like, how am I going to deal with these two people at the same table?

But they insisted on it. And so the meeting sort of went awry. And even now, 20 years later, I was trying to navigate how to keep them focus. on the goal of the meeting, which was to try and obviously put a massive deal together without, you know, one or the other personalities getting out of control. And the buyer, which I did not know very well, started just, you know, veering off. And I tried to bring him back to the table. And I got a little frustrated with him.

And I shared that frustration. And his response, I think I actually said, like, why don't we stay focused on what we were talking about earlier. It seems like we're getting off topic. And he was like, you know, what's your problem? And I go, I don't have a problem. I just think we need to stay focused on what we're here to discuss, which is the property. And he goes, sounds like you've got a little bit of a that time of the month thing. You're on your period? And I just was so, like, blown away that I didn't recover. I had to get up and leave the table and go to the bathroom and gather myself because I was so furious and like enraged that I couldn't be reactive in the moment. And I talk about it in the book and I talk

about, you know, being caught in those moments where you are going to get flustered and someone's going to say something that's going to completely offend you and you have to figure out how to recover. And in that moment for me, I like almost was in tears in the bathroom. I pulled myself together. I went back downstairs and I literally just sat and listened for a minute because he knew I was upset. And once I gained my composure, he was like, are you okay? And I just looked at him square in the eye. And I said, you ever speak to me like that again? And this meeting is over. And I think he was like, oh, you know, oh, I was just fucking around. I was just kidding. And I was like, yeah, it wasn't funny. Let's get back to business. And even though I thought I had failed because I had to get up from the

table and as a woman, you don't want to show weakness and all of this stuff, I was able to kind of come back, sit down, regain my composure, and then, you know, and then say what I needed to say and move on. And so I think, you know, it's those types of stories that you're going to hear in the book. And I think see on the show this season, you know, as a woman struggling, you know, in like a high on real estate capacity. Starting the year with a wardrobe refresh, Quince has you covered with luxe essentials that feel effortless and look polished. They're perfect for layering, mixing, and building a wardrobe that lasts. Their versatile styles make it easy to reach for them day after day. Quince has all the staples covered, from soft Mongolian cashmere sweaters that

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in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes. Visit northwestregisteredagent.com slash confidence free and start building something amazing. Get more with Northwest Registered Agent at www. Northwesternigertagent.com slash confidence free. Tracy, the thing is, though, a lot of women, and I'm thinking, putting myself in that situation too. If there was 500 million on the table and I was feeling like I had a potential deal on my hands, many people might second guess taking that really direct approach to stand up for yourself in fear of losing the deal. What do you say to those people that might say, I don't want to upset the apple cart. I'm not going to anger this guy. I'm just not going to stand up for myself. I'm just going to try to move forward and forget that he said that.

I will always, and, you know, there obviously have been times where I haven't done this, but I will always now speak my mind because I find that's the only way that I can put my head on a pillow at night. I'm just not that personality type that feels comfortable, walks being spoken to like that. And for me, I like to leave it all on the table. I don't want to walk out of a meeting or a listing appointment or an interview or coffee feeling like I just got crushed. I want to feel. I want to feel. like I'm a player at the table and if that means I have to say something that's going to make the entire table uncomfortable, then so be it. I mean, I think the goal is to learn how to say it in a way that is direct, confident, and in control without being, you know, you're going to be called a bitch. You're going to be called emotional. You're going to be said, told that maybe you're on your period. Whatever it is, I think it's important that you recover from that kind of stuff. And And I would say to women, any time that you feel in your gut, and there's a entire chapter on my book called Trust Your Gut, you know, like, it's all about your instincts. And anytime

you have that instinct to speak up, you need to do it. And it's just about learning how to be reactive, but controlled. Everybody always says, oh, God, don't be reactive. Well, why the hell not. If it's that your knee-jerk reaction, sometimes is your gut speaking up. It's just about learning how to hear it inside and then say it in a way that is controlled and effective. So you sometimes use humor in those situations too, right? Oh, God, all the time. My friend Corey, who is maybe one of my favorite people, he's very successful. He ran new development for Douglas Ellum in California for quite some time and now is consulting. But he's one of those guys that was very much in like the corporate environment in real estate,

which, you know, as an agent, you really are in. And he would be in these massive meetings with, you know, suits and ties and doing the whole bit. And everyone's taking themselves very seriously. You know, this is all very important stuff that we're talking about. And Corey could take down an entire boardroom with one comment. or one one-off, you know, self-deprecating comment or joke that just lightens the mood. And I feel like when you're an intense moment, whether it's in a board meeting or a listing appointment, there are different types of humor that you can use to sort of break the ice and make someone feel like they're on,

you guys are on the same page and you're on the same level. And humor is sometimes the most effective way to do that, particularly when you might not have the upper hand intellectually or, you know, whether you're, like I said, in an interview, a listing appointment or anything of that nature, you might not have the upper hand. If you have the ability to have a sense of humor or know how to direct it, then you can sometimes gain control of it again. Oh, I love that approach and couldn't agree with you more. Sometimes cracking a laugh can really ease a situation and allow people to connect with you in a meeting or in a negotiation. Oh, fully. And, you know, listen, it doesn't always land. I've like made jokes. sort of like gone way too far or maybe was a little crass for the room and then you kind of,

you know, you know, you're not going to win everyone over all of the time. But my biggest thing is don't be vanilla. Like vanilla's okay, right? There's a lot of vanilla. But like, if you're authentic to yourself and you're like in that moment, do it because don't be scared of someone not liking you and you figure if you're just vanilla all the way through that, you know, maybe you're okay. Maybe you get it. Maybe you don't. But you're afraid if you're too aggressive, then they'll say you're too aggressive. But my opinion is you're going to win a lot more loyal clients and business associates over

by being 100% authentic to who you are and kind of going for it. Because people respond to that. People respond to authenticity more than anything. If people think you're fake or selling a story. or you're a hustler and, you know, there's no, like, realness to you, people see right through it. And, you know, it's kind of like being on this TV show that I landed on a few years ago. It's like you kind of all of a sudden have this, you know, camera in front of you and you see yourself and you're like, oh, God, you know, like, I have to, I said, if I'm going to do this show, I have to be like 100% me.

And that's me with the cursing. Like, I can't, it's just part of who I am. I'm a little bit of a potty mouth. And, you know, I am a mother of two, and I did get a divorce on the show. And guess what? You know what? If you guys don't like that or you have a problem, then I'm sorry. Don't follow me.

Don't embrace me. But there are people out there that are going to embrace me that much more because I am authentic and unapologetic about who I am. And that means sometimes, like you said, sharing your imperfections. Oh, 1,000 percent. I mean, you can't, there's no perfection to this. whatsoever. So,

I mean, I really, even my team is like, don't post that or you should, you know, not write this or say that. Or maybe to the producers, edit that out.

And it's like, no, I don't want to be. I never was polished. And I didn't get to where I was today without grit and, you know, without doing me.

So why would I stop now? Just because you put a camera on me? No. When you look back on your life, did you always know you were going to achieve this level of success? Like, did you foresee this life that you're living currently? No, I did not. I really, I was a theater major. I wanted to, like, move to New York and, like, be on Broadway and, like, dance and, you know, like, just,

I really, really thought that that's where I was going to end up. And I graduated from USC theater school, and I was, I thought, you know, I need to do these auditions and struggle. And so I started waiting tables and I was like, this is what I have to do. I need to be in it. And I did it for a few years. And I just found myself going, I don't like that I don't have control over my success here. And somehow it shifted me into real estate maybe because my family had background in construction. And it felt like a natural fit, I think, growing up in L.A., but I had no idea I was going to make any money.

and, you know, a few years into it, I, you know, worked really hard. I landed on a team and I started, actually, I made six figures and I was in my 20s and I was like, this is bananas. I never thought I'd make that kind of money. And then it just, it went from there. And how did you end up taking that risk and going on the show? Because for a lot of people, I know they'd be petrified to do that. You know, I think that's what's so interesting.

Obviously, reality has been around for a long time and it's not the first reality show that's kind of crossed my plate, like, you know, in my late 20s and even my early 30s, like there was a couple of things. But even like, you know, 15 years ago, it wasn't really like, oh, you go on a reality show and you can, you know, help out, it helps your business. Like, it was like, you go on a reality show and it's like, you're done. And to be honest with you, I don't think if I ever was on a reality show in my 20s or like, I mean, maybe I would have figured it out, but I don't think that I would have that strong sense of, I mean, I'd probably be a total hit on like Vanderpun fools. I would have been a hot mess. So I just feel like it kind of

got me to where I am and full circle moment. I was an actor for a lot of my young life. And so now to end up on this real estate reality show, it's like, okay, I'm like somehow God's like watching over me. That's really interesting to see the different path that your life has taken. But like you said, really led you to a place that's incorporated where you have control of your finances. You're able to achieve major success while still jumping into this passion that you've had since you were a kid. That's pretty amazing. Yeah. I mean, the fact I like pinched myself, I mean, it was terrifying leap to take and I took it and I like no regrets whatsoever. But once I did, it was good to be like back in front of the camera again and it was fun and, you know,

and doing what I actually love, which is selling real estate and working with different clients and personalities. I was never one that would, you know, be able to sit at a desk all day. So, you know, kind of to get to put those two jobs together, I know, I'm really grateful. And that's kind of, again, part of the reason why I was like, you know what, I have this opportunity to be on this great show that's been running on Bravo for 12 seasons now. And, you know, and, you know, I'm just, you know, why wouldn't I want to speak to women about some of the stuff that I've been through? I wish someone told me what the fuck to do when I was 23 and getting into the business or getting into any business because you're as a young woman, you know, you're told to do things a certain way,

you know, put on your black slacks and your flats and show up with your hair tied back and you sit at the desk and do what you are told to do. And I'm like, now, don't do that unless you like slacks. I don't know. I mean, you write about the importance of dressing the way that you want to, not the way that others tell you to. Yeah, because I think that that's such a big piece of being a woman that feels confident. I think what you wear and how you feel about yourself is a gigantic part of how you, you know, walk into a room.

And I don't believe in trends. I mean, there are certain trends that are going to work for you and certain trends that are not. And I don't feel like following the trends is the way to go. And I think that you have to do and dress in what makes you feel incredibly confident. And I think also following, where are you going? Are you going to meet someone for coffee? Who are they? Are they in, like for me, are they in entertainment? Are they a writer? Are they a producer? Are they a studio head? Or are you meeting with a big CEO in a boardroom for a listing appointment. You know, there's all these different elements that come into play when I figure out,

what am I putting on today that's going to make me feel great. Sometimes, and, you know, you see this on the show. I'm in, like, jeans and some golden goose tennis shoes, and then I'll grab my burkin and I'll go show property to an actor. And that makes them feel. I mean, what am I going to do? you know, some young, like, 32-year-old successful actor who's a creative, I'm going to throw on like a Zach Posen dress and a pair of stilettos and walk properties in the Hollywood Hills.

It's just not, it's not who they are. It's not who I am. And it's not an introduction on connection. And connection is really, really important. So I think fashion and dressing is a big piece of confidence. And, you know, again, staying true to who you are. So where's the line between listening to your intuition, being authentic, being the real you, and then being a chameleon where it can benefit you?

Yeah, the big piece of that for me is being able to compartmentalize because I think that, you know, people like, well, how do you, you know, how can you be 100% authentic to yourself if you're this person over here, but you have to walk into a room with just basically personalities that might be the polar opposite of it. of you. And I think, you know, being a chameleon and, and first of all, doing your diligence on whoever it is that you're meeting with. And I talk about this in the book as well, my girlfriends who are single and like the girls in my office, if they go out on a date, they know their social security number. They know where they went to high school. Who was their first girlfriend?

How many girls they've slept with, you know, they know so much about this person. I think that that's something that you should do before you meet with anybody. Being authentic is obviously the most important thing. But when you walk into these different rooms with these different personalities on some level, by using the humor, by figuring out what type of specific personality they are, who else is in the room, all of these different factors are going to make you figure out what you, what parts of yourself to bring out. Because, you know, there are several different parts to me. There is that humorous, you know, type of personality. There is the, I'm ego driven as well. So I know kind of what to bring into every room.

And I also know what happened to me earlier in that day. So if I woke up in a bad mood or I had an argument or a tough time with my kids that morning, I need to kind of embrace whatever that was and feel it and then be able to put it away for the time being so that I can walk into the room and totally focus. And that is, in my opinion, for me, one of the hardest things that I have to do. I am not great at compartmentalizing and putting things away. So for me, and I think a tip for, you know, a lot of girls and young women out there is, you know, a lot of times, you know, like you were saying, when you're in the meeting, it's like, don't cry, don't fall apart. Don't say anything. Just let it go.

And then all of a sudden, like all this angst and stress and stuff. And this is why so many young people are on Xanax and different types of medications and all this stuff because they let all. all of that stuff just build and they don't say anything about it. And my feeling is say it, own it. I don't care if you have like a moment where you need to step outside and scream or do whatever it is you have to do. Get it out in a workout. But do something to feel whatever it is that you're going for so that you can get it out

and then you can refocus yourself. And sometimes for me, I don't meditate. It's not my jam. So for me, it's like doing like a mundane task, like organizing my calendar, like to get me focused to get, to get me like, I have to look at my calendar and I have to make some adjustments to my schedule. It is the dumbest thing on the planet. But also, when you're emotional and, you know, you've had an outburst or an argument or whatever, sometimes that's the best way to kind of bring you back after you've experienced it so that you can move on and, you know, go into that

meeting and take that piece and compartmentalize it. Yeah, compartmentalizing is definitely not easy. It's more of a discipline. And, you know, that's a lot of self-awareness that you show and that you're sharing right now is to really spend that time to understand, we all have weaknesses. Oh, yeah. It's self-awareness, you know, is a huge piece of, I know, I know where I'm flawed. I know where I'm lacking in my business. That's why I brought in my partner, Gina, to sort of be that business background finance major. You know, she went to Columbia. She is the micro- to my macro. And, you know, it's recognizing those weaknesses that it only makes you better. And you have to learn how to kind of delegate. And that's something that I've had to figure out as well. I'm right there

with you. Delegating is definitely not my strong suit. However, the older I get, the more I realize to really get to that next level, it's impossible to do everything on your own. And it's like you just said about your partner, bringing in really smart people that can fill that gap that you're missing is, you know, know, that's the missing link to being able to get to that next level. 100%. You know, it's so hard to let go. And it's obviously difficult to, I think, to sort of say to yourself, I know where I am not good in having systems. It's never been my thing. I've always been a one-man show. Maybe I have an assistant. And that was it. So once I had a team of six people and we were flailing, I had to bring on a business coach and say, like, he just looked at me like,

you're awesome at what you do and you are really sucking in these areas, you know, and really building out my business and having a proper plan and systems in place that can monitor what I can't on a daily basis because I'm too busy has been enormously helpful. I know when we're slipping even 5%. I couldn't tell you five years ago if I was falling 20% in my business that year. So these are things that I think are important. Yeah, that's so smart to ask for help, to find somebody that is light years ahead of different areas that you might not be and tap that person like you did with hiring a business coach. I couldn't agree more. For me, when I was writing a book, I had no idea what I was doing, but the minute I hired an editor, everything started changing for me. And it became,

you know, we could move so much faster because I was working with someone who had been there before. They've seen the movie. They've done it. Yeah, 100%. And for me, You know, I'm kind of like the extrovert, big picture, macro personality. I need to be out in the field. I'm a networker. That's, I'm the one that goes out and can get the business. Oftentimes, like, a lot of business comes from me on vacation, which, you know, a lot of people are like, oh, she travels so much.

And it's like, I'm always working. I'm always networking. I'm always meeting people. And that's my job. If I was, and I always say this to women, well, I'm not there like, I'm not like you, Tracy. Like, I'm a little bit more like behind the scenes, but like, I want to be successful too, but I just don't have that

extroverted personality. And then it's like, well, if you know what your strength is and you're the opposite of me, then go out and find someone that's like me to partner with. Like, you know, most people would be like, why would you bring on a partner? And it's like, because I can't do it all. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD

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slash confidence to get matched in minutes. And people are always like, how do you do it? How do you have two girls? How do you have a social life? How do you trust? Well, because I have a partner. And that means me sacrificing some of my income to bring in someone that is able to help me manage this business.

I want a life. I am not going to live real estate 24-7 and, you know, be taking calls at 10.30 at night if I can avoid it. At this point of my life, I want some balance. And, you know, that's why, you know, Gina's been such a blessing and the rest of my team. Those are such great tips. And where can we find Fear is just a four-letter word? You can pre-order Fear is just a four-letter word on Amazon right now.

We've got the audible version, this, you know, hard book or Kindle. And you can also order it on Penguin Random House as well. And I think there's a few other sites, some of the big book sites. But right now, the easiest way to do it is Penguin Random House or Amazon. And million dollar listings coming out with the new season? Yes, season 12. We've been delayed a little bit due to COVID, but right now we are scheduled to premiere on June 16th at 10 p.m. following Band of Pump Rules and 9 p.m. every Tuesday thereafter.

Well, Tracy, thank you so much for the tips from the book. I can't wait for everyone to get their hands on it. The cover is amazing. You've got to pick it. You're awesome. Thank you so much. And by the way, did you let pre-read the book? You know you knew so much about it.

That's because you've got such a great team and they got me up to speed. So keep surrounding yourself with good people. They make everybody look good. I ask you to try to find your passion. Hi, and welcome back. I got asked a question this week on LinkedIn that I wanted to share with you. Here goes. Hey, Heather, love your posts.

Well, thank you. Do you have any tips on becoming a better LinkedIn networker? Please share them. I'm trying to get better about my presence and learn how to best. network. Okay, so a couple of things here. One is becoming a better LinkedIn networker, understood, but also I'm trying to get better about my presence. So those are two different questions. Your presence on LinkedIn is going to come from your content, what you're creating. If you are not creating content, you don't have a presence. You need to start and start with

something easy. Start sharing content that you like. You'll get more comfortable with that. Then you can start with text content. Then you can start with picture. Then you can move to video, right? So you're just going to keep progressing, but you have to start. And if four years ago when I started was the best time, great, now's the time. Right? It's the only time. You've got to go now. So start creating content so that you can have a presence, whatever that may be. And don't overthink it. You don't need to have the perfect logo and have the perfect photo shoot. Just post something that's meaningful to you. Post something, a story that you learn something from, but post. And again, If you don't feel comfortable doing that yet, share somebody else's content.

It's a great way to start having a presence, but you've got to start somewhere. Okay, next, if you want to become a better LinkedIn networker, share them, the tips that I would suggest. So first of all, reaching out to people, I can't stand, people will just send me a friend request. Why am I accepting someone I don't know on social media? Not going to happen, right? And you also don't know someone's situation. My LinkedIn account, LinkedIn maxes people out of 30,000 first-degree contacts. After that, if you want to let someone in, you have to kick somebody else out, which is sort of an interesting concept.

It's like evaluating and reevaluating who's in your circle on LinkedIn. I actually like it. However, it takes time because you have to go in and weed out who you're not networking with or who's not adding value to your feed. So first of all, if you're just sending me a blind connect, it's never going to get accepted. And I don't think anyone or most people wouldn't just accept a blind connect. Don't do that. That's just like spamming people. what I would do if I wanted to get to someone, which of course I want to get to people too,

I stock them, I Google them, I go to their page. And when you go to their page, you can click on their activity. You see what posts they've commented on. You see who they're connected to. You see what groups they're in. You see their content and you can comment and share and add value. Whoa, wait a minute. We are now adding value to someone we want to connect with.

they're going to start recognizing our name. If we do it with a little bit more consistency and frequency, they're going to start noticing us, right? So add value first. Always come from a place of adding value to someone else. And then I would send a specific note, hey, so-and-so, I have been consuming your content lately, love the stuff that you're creating around whatever,

business strategy and how it applies to all industries. It really impacted my bottom line. and I wanted to say thank you would mean the world to me. There'd be an opportunity for me to be in your circle so I can consume more of your content. I love sharing it as well as my audience likes consuming it. Right. So there's a number of things you did there. You shared that number one, you know this person, so they should read on.

You made it about them. You're giving them an honest compliment, which everybody likes. And then you're basically, you're going for the ask, going for the clothes, but you're going to say, I'm going to continue to share your content. I'm going to continue to help you. I'm going to continue to help you elevate. and reach more people. And by the way, I'm grateful for what you're doing. It's helping me too. That's pretty hard to say no to. When I get messages like that, I find people to kick out of my

circle so I can bring that person in, someone who's a cheerleader, an advocate, and is actually getting help from what you create. That's a really good strategy, right? And you're going to say, oh, but that takes so much time. Yeah, it does. But anytime I'm going after anyone, I am doing that work, right? I was going after getting Seth Godin on the podcast, a guest and he doesn't do a lot of podcasts anymore as he's so far, you know, beyond in his career. And I was getting the opportunity to connect with him. So I did my research. Yes, I know about what his career is all about and has consumed so much of his content. But I want to know what's going on today. If I'm going to be speaking to the man or interchanging emails with him,

I want to know today. And you need to have that same commitment to if someone's going through, you know, some business change. I want to be able to mention it in the text exchange email. exchange. Hey, saw that you have a new book coming out. Hey, saw that you're working on this. That means something to people and you want to separate yourself from the masses. Don't be like everybody spamming with these random notes. That doesn't add value. It doesn't make you stand up from the crowd. Okay. Another great way to network on LinkedIn is to get into groups because that's going to get you into new circles, new spheres of influence. So if you're in sales and, you know, type into the LinkedIn search bar sales groups and look through different groups that you could be a part of.

Some you have to be accepted into. Some I think everybody will just let you join. But, you know, take a look at that and see what groups you can become a part of. Facebook has a lot of groups. LinkedIn has a lot of groups. But what you'll start seeing is there's constant chatter and threads and conversation going on. Jump in. People want you to jump in.

And if you're thinking, I don't have anything of value to add. That's okay. You can ask questions too. or you can give your perspective. There is no wrong answer, and you will inevitably find that through these groups and conversations, you'll create new friendships and networks outside of that. So it's a really positive way to do it. Another way is following a hashtag, something that I do.

I follow sales. I follow leadership. I want to see content that is in my realm of interest. It doesn't have to be in a certain industry, but I'm interested in what people are doing around revenue generation. I'm interested in what people are doing around leaders. whatever is of interest to you. Follow those hashtags so you start getting those conversations fed to you. If you're targeting specific companies, follow those companies, right? Why not put

them on your favorite and your interest list so that you get served that content? And if you have sales navigator, you can actually click on the very specific companies or people that you want to follow. Take out Google alerts on these people. Just keep yourself in the loop as to what's going on. There's so much that you can do. So when there is an opportunity, presented where you can contribute or jump in a conversation, you can add value because you read the article, you have a perspective, you've got to get in the game. I spend more time on LinkedIn than I do any other social media platform tenfold. And that's because this is the place where business gets done. Yes, you can meet great people. I've made great friends, Joy McAdams,

a good friend of mine who I met through LinkedIn and through our rapport and comments and posts. and then it turned into us actually meeting in real person in Atlanta, before COVID, obviously. But, you know, so it can be a place to create friendships and it can be a place for you to better yourself, to learn more. But you have to be the one doing the outreach. You have to be the one doing the legwork ahead of time and putting the time and effort in to jump into these threads, jump into these conversations, jump into these groups. Don't sit on the sidelines waiting to be invited. Permission granted. Get in now. I'm sorry. so glad that I did four years ago. And to see the growth on my LinkedIn, because of consistency,

because of increase in frequency, because of following certain hashtags, you know, now I'm learning about this automation and the ability to send out specific messaging to people in specific positions so I can reach more people. Even if it's just I'm going to reach out to them with, hey, I want to share my ebook on how to be a more confident seller, click here to get my free ebook. I can add value to people even when I'm not at the. computer actually, you know, typing away and hitting the keys. So the more people you connect with, the more people outside of your bubble you get to know and converse with on LinkedIn, the more you will learn about what tools and tactics and opportunities are out there. I'm sure there's

millions that I don't know about and I can't wait to learn them, right, and add them to the repertoire. Also, algorithms are always changing in social media. So we can't just have one way and done. And I actually was talking to someone about this today. I remember when I got into business, early in my 20s, female, not a lot of females were in the industries I was in. And I'd always hear from the older men, this is the way we've always done it. No, this is the way we've always done it, Heather. Heather, measure twice, cut once. These were older gentlemen that would say to me, very lively young lady running a $25 million operation and people weren't happy about it. And I'll tell you, I wanted to move fast and break things. Speed to market is the new business currency. That is

fact, right? You've got to move fast or your competition will move ahead of you, number one. And then number two, you know, I'm constantly saying, I understand this conventional way that you have always done it. However, what's a better or new or different way that we can do it? And I've been challenging myself with that perspective since day one I got into business. It has never served me wrong. In fact, it's always served me right. Doesn't mean that each time I try to innovate and try something new at works. Sometimes it's failed. but that's okay. I fail, I learn, I get backed up, and I try a different tactic. But staying that one course just because that's what has always worked, that will not be what works today or tomorrow or the next day.

You've constantly got to evolve based upon what's happening with market conditions, with pandemics, with industry changes, with environmental factors, with political changes. There are so many pushing exterior factors on business that you have to be responding to in as fluid, way and shape a form as you can, not in a knee jerk after everything comes crashing down. I go back to when I was young, I was a VP in sales and radio, and this is a very traditional, very one-way old business, and I was constantly coming up with new ideas on how we could innovate, and I was shot down all the time. But luckily, as you might know me by now, nose don't really get me down, not that often. They did a little bit when it was pitching to the publishing houses. I got a little nervous, but we broke through it and it came, and it

everything worked out all right. However, I was told no all the time. And you learn in sales. Don't take it personal. Figure out how you can come back to that person and showcase your idea in a different way, a different light, a different frame so that it might connect to them better and they might understand it. Empathize with them in their situation. Overcome their objections. What is their real fear? You know, I would think about these different things. And one day I saw this really funny graphic and I used it in a meeting, in an annual meeting that I was going into about the need to innovate in business. And this is a long time ago. I mean, a really long time ago. I was probably 30 years old. So probably 15, 16 years ago. And I had seen this meme, or we probably didn't have

memes back then. I don't know what it was called. Some graphic that was a picture of a man with horses pulling a wheelbarrow. And he was, you know, working in a field trying to, like, let's say he's picking up corn or whatever to go sell corn and that's his business. So a salesman comes up in a car next to him and jumps out of the car and says, oh, Mr. I wanted to share with you this amazing idea that can innovate your business and 10 extra revenue stream. The corn guy looks at him and says, I'm too busy. This is the way we've always done it. This is the way we'll always do it. And the point was, it's a funny example of when you're so in the weeds on what you're doing, this guy was just so used to doing it this one way. And he was so busy. He was so tired.

He was so stressed out. He was so behind trying to get the corn to market to sell because he's using a wheelbarrow on horses when everyone else in the world is driving vehicles and cars, right? So the whole idea is there's the car sitting there and a salesman standing next to the car. He was going to say to him, you can buy a car and you can travel at speeds 100 times what you're traveling now, get your corn to market, beat your competitor there, sell out before the competition even gets there. You can claim 100% market share. You can drive rate, drive price. Your revenues are going to accelerate immensely. But the man was so in the weeds, he couldn't pick his head up beyond what he had always done to see there's a better way.

So I'm challenging you the same way I challenge myself daily. Don't get so mired down and what if I try something different and it fails? Lots of things will fail, but then you can pivot and grow and then you can pivot and find a different way. And the more you put out there that you're looking to find a new and more innovative way, you're looking to become more automated, you're looking to become more efficient, you're looking to grow. The more you put that out there, the more you're going to track that back to you. So whether you're looking at growing your presence on LinkedIn or growing your business, challenge yourself to try different ways. Try to put yourself out there in different ways and see what connects, what works, and see what doesn't. But constantly be testing and then

evaluating the data behind it. So you're going to say, Heather, I reached out to 20 people on LinkedIn this week, 20 of them I sent personalized notes to. I did all the work. And I received 80% of that I got connections back. I want to test it and do it differently. So I tested it through an automated device to 20 people, and we only got connection of 40%. But what I figured was with the time spent doing it, it was more efficient doing it this way. Do you see what I'm saying? You've got to constantly attempt, analyze data, re-slice it, re-evaluate it, and go back and do it again. And the more efficient and more practice you get doing that, which is essentially you evaluating your business, you evaluating your efforts, you evaluating your innovation, the more of that.

the more that becomes your norm, oh my gosh, the better you get, the more you become a leader in your industry, in your field, in your personal brand, and whatever. But it all starts with starting. So start now. That's my message to you right now. I hope this answered this beautiful young lady's question. And I hope there's some value that you can get from there as well. Keep innovating. Keep taking chances. If you're not subscribed yet, please click subscribe now because there are some big stuff coming in the next couple of weeks. You are not going to want to. miss it. And as always, if you could leave me a review, it helps the show so much. You guys mean the world to me. I appreciate you being here week in and week out. And until next week, keep creating confidence. You know I will be.