Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #69: Lu Parker of Be Kind & Co: Being Kind and Moving Forward

Episode Date: August 25, 2020

What does Lu Parker, award winning journalist, KTLA anchor, self-made business woman, creator of Be Kind & Co., and former Miss USA, say about achieving your goals? Become a seeker by always being hungry, hustling for what you want, and never being bored. She understands that sometimes you need to go backwards to leap forward but you never stand still. Do not sit in fear. Make the decision. And walk out your door every day like you’ve already achieved your goal. But Lu’s greatest advice for everyone is to always be kind. Because to choose kindness—for yourself, for your family, for strangers—is to shift the universe.  About The Guest: As an Emmy and Genesis Award winning journalist, Lu has worked in the television news business as an anchor and reporter for more than two decades. She is also an inspirational speaker, author, former Miss USA, animal advocate, and founder of Be Kind & Co., a lifestyle media brand. Lu has won six Emmys for her work in the television industry. You can find her anchoring and reporting the news in Los Angeles, California on KTLA 5 News. During her career, Lu has interviewed hundreds of celebrities including Bradley Cooper, Aretha Franklin, Matt Damon, Jennifer Lawrence, Clint Eastwood, Barbra Streisand, & Kanye West. Prior to her career in broadcasting, Lu was a ninth-grade English Literature teacher. While teaching, in 1994, she captured both the Miss South Carolina USA, and Miss USA titles. In addition, as Miss USA, she placed 4th in the Miss Universe Pageant. After winning the Miss USA title, Lu moved to Los Angeles, California. You can read more about her pageant experiences and find valuable competition tips in her book titled “Catching the Crown” The Source for Pageant Competition.  Lu is an avid traveler and has visited nearly 20 countries where she has had the opportunity to meet with dignitaries such as Prince William and Kate Middleton The Duchess of Cambridge and Presidents Barack Obama and Bill Clinton. While on a trip to South Africa, Lu also had the opportunity to discuss human and animal rights during visits with Nelson Mandela and Animal Advocate Jane Goodall. Lu has an English degree from the College of Charleston where she was named Alumnus of the Year. She also holds a Master of Arts degree in Education from The Citadel.  In her free time, Lu is an advocate for homeless animals. In 2010, she created Lu Parker Project, a non-profit organization dedicated to helping homeless animals and at-risk teenagers through community projects and education. She also lives a vegan lifestyle and loves living in Los Angeles with her rescue dog, Moose. Finding Lu Parker: Website: http://luparker.com/ Instagram: @luparkerla Facebook: @luparkerktla Twitter: @luparker Connect on Linkedin Finding Be Kind & Co: Website: http://bekindandco.com/  Instagram & Facebook & Twitter: @BeKindandCo To inquire about my coaching program opportunity visit https://mentorship.heathermonahan.com/  Review this podcast on Apple Podcast using this LINK and when you DM me the screen shot, I buy you my $299 video course as a thank you!  My book Confidence Creator is available now! get it right HERE If you are looking for more tips you can download my free E-book at my website and thank you! https://heathermonahan.com  *If you'd like to ask a question and be featured during the wrap up segment of Creating Confidence, contact Heather Monahan directly through her website and don’t forget to subscribe to the mailing list so you don’t skip a beat to all things Confidence Creating!   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. Overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so excited. You are back here with me again this week for this crazy ride called 2020. So thanks for being here. It means the world to me. You have no idea. Okay. So as per usual, another insane week. Oh my gosh. My son started Zoom school, so we are literally working side by side in the next room feet away from each other. I feel so bad, not an ideal situation to say the least, definitely hard on him. And I'm trying my best to schedule things around him. So I'm trying. It's crazy. I'm trying to do anything where I might raise my voice or have to be really talkative for after 3 o'clock, which is just very bizarre. And I know so many of us are in this boat where things are far from ideal with the school situations. Some of my friends said that they sent their kids to school and that's been hard because it's stressful and the kids can't leave their desk.

And then there's people like me that are at home with their kids and that makes it really complicated when you're working from home. And then, of course, there's people who I don't even know how they're doing it because they have to actually go to a brick and mortar store or location and their children are too young to leave alone. And really, how could you leave any child alone during the day when they're in Zoom school and you need to make sure they show up for the class and don't get distracted? Because it's so easy for them to look out the window or pick up the phone or turn on the TV if they're by themselves. So there is no good solution that is for sure. And I'm feeling your pain. If you're in it, you are not alone. Oh, we will get through this.

That's, you know, what we've got to keep saying because we've got to find a way to do it. So we will. So that was not the hardest part of the week, actually. It was so crazy. So I found out about a new LinkedIn program called ProFinder. And I found that out from a woman that I was connected to. Oftentimes people will connect me to someone on LinkedIn and say, hey, wanted you to meet my friend. Maybe you guys could work together or help each other or whatever. And I said, okay, I can make time for, you know, a 10-minute call. also this woman I get on a call, and this is what happens very frequently. People want to be a guest on my show, on this show, on our show.

And typically if someone's calling me and I'm not calling them, it's not someone that I really, you know, I'm excited to have on the show. So I typically get a little annoyed when that happens because it's basically me being called, you know, giving up time to be on another call or to do something else so that I can be pitched. So that was how this call started. However, the call ended up changing and she ended up sharing that, you know, hey, maybe I can help you out. One of the way that I've been able to land new clients during the pandemic has been through LinkedIn ProFinder. So I thought, oh, that's, I don't know about that, you know.

And it just reminds me there's so much in this world we do not know about it's overwhelming, right? There's someone out there, whatever problem or challenge you're having, there's someone out there in the world that's figured it out. They've found the solution, they've found the software, they've found the person, they found the answer, and you just haven't found it yet. That's annoying. However, you need to keep looking for it, right? So I'm always wondering, okay, maybe this is the one thing missing from my business, or maybe this is a thing that makes it easier or, you know, move faster or solves my pipeline problem or solve some problem that I haven't fixed yet. So I go into ProFinder and I want to set up an account and they come back to me and say, oh, you can't because it's, it's, says you're out of the country, and I'm saying, what's going on? And I'm forgetting that I started

working with this amazing young woman who's handling a number of different things. But one of the goals for me is she's trying to handle some automation for me so that I don't have to be everywhere, you know, and be doing everything that she's doing things. I didn't understand, you know, the complexity of what is involved behind the scenes because, frankly, I don't want to get involved in that. I want to do the things that I need to be focused on, which are, you know, my coaching calls with my clients, my speeches, my writing for my new book, the things that only I can be managing. Anyhow, make a long story longer, I end up getting locked out of my account on LinkedIn. And I didn't know why. I didn't know what was going on. I just got this message that said,

your account has been restricted. I didn't even know that happens. And so I was freaking out and I stopped myself. And I reminded myself that a couple of years ago when I first got fired, So maybe it was a year after. I'd finally gotten my knowledge panel on Google, which was a big deal to me at the time. I had never had one. It said I was an author and I felt really proud. Anyhow, my son decided to link something to one of my accounts as he will use my email addresses for different things, because he was younger and didn't have his own yet.

And he ends up switching the name on my Google knowledge panel to sway, which was his game name. And anyhow, I lost my knowledge panel. I had a nervous breakdown because I thought, I worked so hard to do this. And he took this away in one second. And I was so upset. I wasn't mad at him. I was mad at the situation. Anyhow, I feverishly tried to fix this and worked on it and called people and asked for favors and

did everything under the sun. And within a month, it got fixed. But it took a month. And in that window, I just thought I had lost it and it was over and I was going to have to work really hard to get enough SEO again to, you know, to create a new knowledge panel. But it got fixed. It was fine.

So I thought to myself, I wanted to cry. 90% of my business leads come to me through LinkedIn. Can you imagine that? Okay, so that's a huge problem now that I'm having this epiphany, right? Is that I don't want to be that heavily dependent on anything because if that thing goes away, hello, we've got a major problem to fix. So in my mind, I started thinking, okay, how that remember the knowledge panel situation, you got it back within a month.

Everything is going to be okay. We'll work through this. You need to find someone that works there that can help you. So I write a nice note back to the somewhat automated email I'd received back that said, you know, your account's been restricted and we'll be in touch and asking a bunch of questions. And luckily, they responded and answered to me. And they said they just wanted to, you know, essentially check out what was going on. Make sure there was nothing fraudulent in my account.

Find out if my account had been hacked. Find out, you know, in a number of different. questions, find out if I had done anything wrong to the account. So I tried to remain really calm, but then I also started thinking to myself, okay, worst case scenario, if it's gone, what will I do to get business for next month? Because typically what I do is I post about my coaching programs, especially the last week of the month to drive business, you know, for the first September 1 start date. So next week, you know, coming up here now last week of August, that's when I really get aggressive and post a lot, sense of urgency. You know, there's only two days left, only five spots left,

whatever it is. And that's been my strategy thus far and that's been working. So I was just going to, you know, rinse and repeat. And anyhow, I thought, okay, I'm going to need to move to an email strategy. And so I jumped over to this young lady I've been working with. And I said, listen, we've got to pivot fast and get into an email strategy. And we've got to start, you know, getting aggressive in that direction. And, you know, LinkedIn might be gone. I don't know. I guess I'll have to make a new account and, you know, all my testimonials will be gone. Oh my gosh, that was a really sad part. But anyhow, I ended up getting it back, and I was super stressed out about it for 24 hours.

And they were very nice to me. And they explained, listen, there's rules and regulations, and we can't have, you know, multiple people logging into your account. And it looks like your account actually may have been hacked. And so bottom line is this, I had to reset all my passwords. And I've actually been having issues where with cybersecurity, anyhow, where people have been trying to reach me. and take my passwords and try to get into my accounts. And that's why two-factor notification where you have to get a secondary code

is really important for any of your accounts, bank accounts, social media, anything. That's really helpful. That's the tip that I learned. And so I've been really diligent about that. And so I set the same thing up now with LinkedIn so that it's just me in the account. However, the strategy that this young lady had been implementing for me

on LinkedIn was working amazing. And so now we've frozen that. because I don't want to do anything that could potentially cause me a problem with LinkedIn. So it's just like anything, I swear. When you think you have one problem solved, then suddenly the problem is back on your plate again. And then it's on you to say, okay, what is the next solution? What is the next best solution? So I had been meeting with one of these online business managers to see if they could, you know,

take some work off my plate and help me with my process and streamline things and automate things. And, you know, find ways to take me out of the day to day. And I put a freeze on that right now because I thought I need to go all in right now on the pipeline generation side of this sales process. And in any sales process, it's a loop, right? And we need to start with how do we create the pipeline? How do we funnel people into the pipeline? The goal is to automate that, not for us to be. I don't want to have to handhold all of that.

It's too much work that you shouldn't have to be doing. So that was one of the issues or issues that are back on my plate again is, you know, I have people to the funnel, get them in the funnel. And then once they're in the funnel, record them, keep track of them, and track somewhere on a grid, a Google spreadsheet, an Excel doc, whatever, where they are in that process. So the notes could be, hey, this one wants to do a 15-minute call for executive one-on-one coaching, has a couple of questions, and I'm supposed to follow up on such and such date. So really tracking, where are they in that process?

So you can start measuring, okay, what's going well, what's working, what's not working, and this is back to, you know, with copy points or with email blasts or whatever, you know, let's test a couple different things and then let's see what has the best response. Let's optimize that and lean into that and let's ditch the stuff that's not working. And then the goal would be at some point to have somebody filling in these things for me so that I don't have to do all of them, whether it be someone doing the one-on-one calls for the qualifying calls, the 15-minute calls. Anyhow, so all this process, I'm constantly looking at how can I improve it, how can I accelerate it, how can I automate it, and how can I hand it off? to somebody else. And then this situation occurred where something that had been going really well has now stopped. And I'm in this moment in time where I'm saying, okay, how can I diversify my funnel? And I need to start leaning into different things. So I really am going to start trying to lean

more heavily into email because I own that. That's not something that someone, you know, can shut down on you. At least I don't think so. I'm hoping that doesn't happen. So, and I'm just saying that joking, but it's just because it's so crazy that I never thought my LinkedIn account could even go away, much less it did for 24 hours. So anyhow, it's so good to build up a personal brand, and it's so good to build credibility and trust with a community so that people like you know you want to do business with you, but you need to be aware at any point in time, those platforms could disappear or your account could disappear, you know, whether it be by your choice or something you did wrong or not.

And anyone could get hacked at any point in time, and that could appear as if you did something wrong. So sharing this with you so that you look at your business and look at where your funnel comes from and look at your brand and see where you could be exposed and where you could potentially diversify your business, your audience, because leaning in too much on one thing or one solution is really risky. And I felt the pain of that this week. That is for sure. I was so excited when it finally went back on. So that's my. big epiphany moment from this week. And the thing is, I love LinkedIn. I think it's so interesting. I love the people that I meet there because we're all there for business and we're all there to learn and push each other. And I've met so many amazing people. And for September, I already have so many amazing people from LinkedIn coming into my coaching program. And I'm really excited about the opportunity to learn from one another, push each other and hold each other accountable and go to the next level. So it's been great. I'm praying it continues to be great and continues to grow. But I'm also committed.

to diversifying my funnels and where those funnels are coming from. And I hope that that sharing that story with you at least helps you to think about what your current strategy is and if there is a way to diversify it and improve it and automate it, of course, wherever it can. Okay. So today, this is so interesting. I met the guest that you're about to meet. I met her a couple of years ago in LA the first time I went on her show. And she's legitimate the most gorgeous human being ever. Truly, she's former Miss America. You know, she's rather intimidating because she's very tall and completely

drop-degorgeous and articulate and amazing. And so when I first met, I just thought, oh, gosh, this lady is a flippin knockout. I can't believe it. And in the end, it was funny because, and she'll tell you the story. Actually, when we sit down and talk next, she asked me for some help. And it was so ironic because she wanted helpless speaking. And this is after I already had launched my speaking. business and I had been, you know, picked up by a number of speaker bureaus and I was killing it

on the speaker circuit. So it was super easy for me to help her. And I jumped at the chance to do it. And like me, she was blown away when another woman really wants to help another woman. Because as we all know, that it's not always the case, sadly. Sadly, so many women want to hurt and set up other women. But anyhow, she is not like that. I am not like that. And so we hit it off. I love this woman. She is absolute doll, truly one of the nicest people that I know. And you're going to love her. She's going to drop so much wisdom on you right now. I mean, you have to listen to this interview. It's so flipping good. And it's really the first time that I've had a good friend of mine on the show. So I can't wait to hear what you think. Hang tight. We'll be right back.

And welcome back. I'm so excited for you to meet my guest today. She is a former Miss USA. Holy cow. She is an anchor for KTLA TV and an unbelievable anchor that Emmy award-winning journalist. She is the founder of Be Kind and Co. And she is a very dear friend of mine. Lou Parker, thank you for being here. Hi, beautiful. We did it. We figured it out between the six-month-old puppy and everything going on. We figured it out. We figured it out. in this moment. It's a beautiful thing. It is a beautiful thing. So thanks for being here. And I, I wanted to get into, you've achieved a tremendous amount of success in the public eye. You're very much

in the public eye, especially out in L.A. and worldwide. Can you talk to us a little bit about how did this all begin for you? Like, where does this come from? When you were a little girl, did you know that your life was going to play out the way that it did? Of course, I didn't know that my life was going to play out the way it did. But when I look back, I attribute a lot of it to Girl Scouts in a crazy way when I look back. I know that sounds crazy, but you know, in Girl Scouts, were you a Girl Scout by chance? Yeah, for a hot minute. Okay. So remember when you had to get the patches, you could win the patches. If you did this, this, this, and this, you got that patch. And if you did this, this, this, and this, you got that

patch. So that's very small goal-oriented task, right, to get the patch. And I was all about the patch. And then with cookie sales, I was all about the cookie sales because I had to do this, this and this, right? I don't know where that came from. My parents never pushed me to be successful or to get out there and go and do. But I've always had this yearning inside that there was something out there that I was supposed to be doing. I never and still don't know exactly what that is, but it's always inside saying move forward.

And so I don't know. I grew up in a really small town. My parents divorced. Great relationship with them still throughout the years. And so I grew up as a country, like way out in the country. A small school played a lot of sports, was very successful because there was no one at the school. So basically you have a space to be successful because, you know, it's not like 500 people in your class. I graduated with 32 people, I think, my senior year. So but after college, I went to graduate. I went to graduate. school and then ended up being a high school teacher. I don't even know if you know that. I didn't know that. Yes, I was a high school teacher for about a year and a half and then decided to be in a pageant. And that's when everything sort of flipped. And I was living in Charleston, South Carolina at the time, and ended up winning Miss South Carolina USA and then represented the state in USA. And somehow walked away with that crown. That was crazy. It was a long time ago. So what had, happened there was once I won Miss USA, I was living in Charleston teaching school. They move you

to where the company was based. So they flew me to L.A., set me up in an apartment with a chaperone. I was 25 years old, and I thought I'd died and gone to heaven. And I'm still here. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than a rough patch, you don't need just another meditation app. Tachiatry makes it easy to see a psychiatrist online using your insurance in days. Tachiatry is 100% online psychiatry practice that provides. comprehensive evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, insomnia, and more. Unlike therapy-only apps, tachiatry is psychiatry.

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Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash confidence to get free shipping and 365-day returns. Quince.com slash confidence. Your whole life changed from that one incident. Were you nervous back then competing and competing?

and competing at that level? I have thought about that over the years, and I really wasn't. It was, you know, of course I was nervous, and of course you're excited, but I had this great guy who I met. It was the first gay man I'd ever met or known, you know, this was in the 90s.

So I went to get my hair colored, and he had heard that I was going to be in a pageant. He worked at the salon, and he said, well, can I see your application? And I had handwritten the application. And he was like, girl, you can't handwrite the application. And you got to like type it out on a typewriter, right? Not a computer because there were no computers back then.

Right. But anyway, so he kind of took me under his wing and said, this is the deal. You walk out of, and this is great advice, Heather, for the listeners too, when you have a goal or when you're trying to achieve something or you're going on a job. He said every day from now until the day of that pageant, when you step on the stage, you walk out of your house every single day as Miss USA. You're not Miss USA yet, but you will be. you walk out knowing you are Miss USA.

Act like you're Miss USA, everywhere you go, even if you're at CVS. That is such powerful advice. I totally agree with you. It's similar to when I did my first TEDx talk, as you know, in October, for the two months leading up to it, every day I would say 50 million views of my TED talk. I killed it. I would really get excited about, I visited the venue, you know, and all of it was around this. Oh, my gosh, I killed it.

And I truly believe that work. Well, it's a visualization, right? They say visualize you doing what you're dreaming of. Visualize yourself and the relationship that you want to be in. Visualize yourself in the house you want to own. By the way, I listened to your podcast the other day about that's the house that Heather bought. That's a house that Heather built. That's right. The house that had better built. That's a great podcast, by the way. I'm not sure which one that one is, but you guys should listen to it. That was the Nina Sussman podcast. That's right. Thank you.

You know, I'm putting that in my new book. I'm putting that story in my new book because I've gotten so much feedback that it resonated with people. Yeah, of course, because it's like, what? All right. So one of the things that we were talking about offline is how different your life would have been, what different trajectory you had gone on if you had been first runner up instead of the actual winner and how close of a different, those two positions are. After I won and I judged several pageants afterwards, figuring out that I won, it was like a lottery.

I mean, obviously, all the girls that were at that level were, you know, had done really hard work. They, you know, looked good. They had shown up prepared, right? So a lot of the girls could have been Miss USA. So it just narrows down, narrows down, narrows down, narrows down. And then I just believe it's fate when it gets down to like the top three. You know, it's like who answers the question properly, what question gets asked, you know? And so it's fascinating that, so if I'd gotten first runner up, I would have gone back to Charleston, South Carolina, and I was still going to be teaching. I probably would have ended up. I had just been asked to coach the JV basketball girls team, so I probably would have gone back and coach basketball and kept teaching. But I know in my heart that I would have ended up being propelled to do something. Maybe I would have ended up in Atlanta, or maybe I would have, I'm not sure. Who knows? We can't assume that, right? I

probably would have gotten married and had kids. Maybe. Who knows? It's so interesting, though, to just think of those one. It's like for me getting fired, right? Like, that totally changed my life and my career. And it's interesting when you get a little bit older so that you can look back and reflect on those really, you know, those moments that were everything pivoted in your life.

And you can't imagine if that hadn't happened where you'd be. Right, exactly. And California, I had heard of Los Angeles, but I didn't know really what, expect when I got here and I moved here and the weather's amazing and but my mom always reminds me she said Lou you don't remember this she said but in high school you always said mom I want to live somewhere where I can wear what I want to wear say what I want to say I want if I want to have purple hair I can have purple hair I don't think I ever wanted to fit into a mold into like a puzzle piece right I wanted to be able to express myself and here no matter how you express yourself I'm like

vanilla boring here you know compared to like what goes on here because there's so much, you know, creativity and diversity. And I think I like that. I think I like living in that space. And so maybe, you know, L.A. was a magnet for me and drew me here through the pageant. Who knows? But I do love it here. I've been working here as a TV news anchor for 15 years. It's so crazy. I'm like, where did the 15 years go? But clearly I'm having fun. Clearly, I enjoy my job. Clearly, things are good because the 15 years is just like, and I'm never born. Put it that way. Lou, how did you end up landing anchor at KTLA?

Because obviously that's the most sought after job in TV. Yep. A lot of work. I definitely paid my dues. So I was living out here as Miss USA, you get paid for a whole year, travel and do your thing. And then literally, we always say you arrive in the limo and you leave back then in the cab. We leave in an Uber now. But literally it's like, you're Miss USA, you're this and that.

and then the new one girl's getting in there like, push her aside. You girls are down. Right, but I mean, clearly I did that to someone else, right? So I stayed for an extra year and just dilly dallyed. I'm not even sure what I did. And then it came to the point where I was like, you know, I got to start figuring out what I want to do.

And I had an agent at the time and she was just, they were kind of pushing me to act. And I am not a good actress. So I just, it made. me squirm to be in auditions. But when a camera was on me as Lou, I felt very comfortable speaking and expressing myself. But if I had to be someone else or cry or whatever, it was weird. So I guess my agent happened to see back in Charleston, South Carolina, where I was from, that they were hiring a education, again, Fait, an education reporter. And so they had followed

me, the CBS station had followed me to Miss USA and to Miss Universe, where I competed. in the Philippines. So they knew me. And so I went back and interviewed. They offered me the job and I told them no because I was like, I don't want to go back. I want to stay out here in California. But I knew my acting coach said, as long as you're on camera, you're moving forward if that's ultimately what you want to do. So I packed everything back up, went back 3,000 miles, back to South Carolina and worked at CBS for two years. I was horrible. I look at some of the live shots. I mean, it's like when you're in sales for the first time and you go on that first call or whatever you're doing, right? You've got to get the experience or if you're a trial attorney or whatever it is

or building a business, you know, you're learning, but I was learning, unfortunately, on camera in front of people. So that's painful. But luckily, I got two years later, I got a job in San Antonio, Texas, as weekend anchor and general assignment reporter. Now that means I've gone from education reporter talking about education now to anything, death, destruction, school board meetings, positive stories, whatever. And then I was anchoring on the weekends. And I was there for about four years, then got a job at the CBS affiliate there always with the intention with my eyes on LA. I would spend my holidays. I would come out here and try to do interviews even on my vacation days just because I wanted to, you know, I was a hustler. I still am a hustler. Like I like the

hustle. You are. You definitely are. Yeah. Thanks. You are. too. Well, we're very similar that way. Yeah. I mean, I think in a way, I feel like we're born with that gene, if, you know, for the listeners out there, if you have that where you're, you're always hungry for something else. Maybe it's where seekers. I like to say I'm a seeker, or maybe I'm, you know, just trying to continue to learn. I just don't want to slow down. I never want to say the word, I'm bored. I hate when people say I'm bored. I'm like, how can you be board, I have a list of things back there and like 12 projects I want to do and 20 countries I want to visit and, you know, anyway, I luckily finally got a job out here in 2005. I got the weekend

anchor gig and I could not have flown out here faster. But Lou, you know, that's a great story of having to go backwards in order to leapfrog forward. And I think that's a really important point to make to everybody. I did the same thing. In my career at one point, I was running my, I was an equity partner coming, running a pretty decent size company. And I took a step back to have a much smaller job at a much bigger company because I knew that once I was in, I could elevate very quickly. So sometimes that, that is the right move to take. Well, and you definitely, things are a little different now on TV, but you can't in any job expect to all of a sudden be great at it, right? it's like with anything, a sport, you have to go out and hit the baseball like hundreds and

hundreds of times or shoot the free throw a million times, right, to get good. And it's the same thing in business. So, and then when you're starting over, exactly the same thing, even with Bekind and Co, this, you know, company that I've started, I'm starting it so at scratch, right? And I'm looking at Goop and Thrive Global and all these companies that started 10 years ago. You think, oh, Gwyneth Palsrow just started Goop and like, you know, a year and a half ago. now it's this huge company, they've put 10 years in, right? Ariana Huffington put so much into Thrive Global and Huffington Post. And she actually, I was reading an article the other day and I was sort of thinking,

what am I doing, which I'd love to talk about eventually, but like just making a decision, like I was sitting in fear for the longest time creating, well, basically I should say what, Be Kind and Co is this lifestyle media company that I've started. And I'm wanting to take it to the next level. and I was sitting in fear about it, and Ariana Huffington is turning 70, and she wrote, she's like a role model of mine, but she wrote a blog, and she was talking about turning 70 and what that means and looking back. And then she, just out of the blue, was my sign, the sign that I was looking for. It said, I didn't start Huffington Post until I was 55, and I didn't start Thrive Global

until I was 66. And I was like, there it is. There it is. Because I keep, you know, know, because then women and men maybe too, but for me as a woman, the older I get, the more I'm like, well, I'm too old to start this or maybe I'm too old to do that or maybe I'm, but no, we're not. I mean, we've got like 40 more years to go, right? And so when I read that, I knew it was a sign from the universe. I'm a big sign looker and watcher and very attentive to that. And when I read that, I was like, there it is. And I literally made the decision the next day and hired the branding marketing person. Oh, it's so good, Lou.

So that's such a great point. And I talk about this a lot on LinkedIn, which is we are never too old. It is never too late. And now is always the right time. Easier said than to believe that, right? I'm like, yeah, I hear you, girl. But then when you're, you know, so example, you know, I'm wanting to take Be Kind and Co, which started out as a passion project and a blog, I want to take it to the next level.

And so for the listeners, I'm trying to take it from, you know, a blog to more of a magazine-style website. And I'm wanting to up my game in terms of getting content out there to everyone. I want to also get some really cool hats and T-shirts and mask. But to do all that, I can't do that alone, A, I don't know what I'm doing in terms of that. I need knowledge. I need someone to actually go in and do that on the web. website and I have a full-time job, right? And I'm single. I'm like, how am I going to spend this money? What should I be spending this money? The world might end in October or, you know, or what happens

if everything shuts down? What if I lose my job? Like I just went through all that, right? And what if, what if, what if, what if. And then I finally just, you know, I wrote about it, actually. I wrote a blog about it. It's like, make a decision, right? A friend of mine said to me a couple of months ago, they were like, just make the decision and move on. Just make, you'll feel better. And once I did, I did feel better. That's the cool thing about it. It's like when you make that decision, what's the worst thing that can happen, right?

Yeah, I lose some money. It doesn't work out. But in the process of taking that chance, trusting myself, moving forward as opposed to being stuck, maybe not what I envision is going to happen, but something will come from that. Maybe someone sees what I'm doing and something comes out. just like with my speaking engagements, I never saw speaking coming from Bekind and Co. And all of a sudden I get an email from someone saying,

hey, will you come speak at our convention? And I'm like, sure. You know, so it's weird how you have to really trust the system, trust the universe, right? And go with your gut. So, so true. And I even remember, Lou, remember at the beginning of pandemic when you were working so much

because obviously anyone who is covering the news right now is busier than they've ever been, right? Like, you were all hands-on-deaf all the time. And I remember when you sent me a text. In the studio, too, not at home because we're essential. So now I'm having to go in the studio, too. It's a lot. Right. It's scary. There's a lot of energy that has to go into that that is just intense. I remember you sending me a text saying, I feel like I want to do more. I feel like I need to create something. thing, should I do a podcast or a book? I'm like, only Lou would be freaking working around the clock just in a pandemic and trying to figure out if she should write her first book or launch a podcast. That was... I know. I think it's a problem. I think I think I might have to diagnose

myself with some thing. But, you know, I took your advice. You know, you've been so great, like, just giving me advice. And quick, too. You are like fast. on the money with texts and emails. I'm always like, Heather got back to me so quickly, I'm so bad about, like, I'll delay it like half a day or whatever. You're like, just do it. Move forward. Go. And I'm like, I know, I know that's all you need to hear. Like, all right, this one's going to take this long. This one can take this long. Which one do you want to do? Now go. Just go and do it. So I've been playing around with that a little bit with the podcast and coming up with the concept. I hired someone to, in the beginning, just to work with me in the development

stage with it. I have not pulled the plug on it, but I definitely have started the flow forward, which is a great thing. And even like the other day, I was thinking to myself, you know, I was putting pressure on myself, which I think a lot of people do is they put pressure on themselves to either achieve or to be better or have a better body or, you know, have a better job or whatever it is that you're a better friend or a better lover or whatever it is, that we don't sit back and say, look at our progress and where we are at this point, right? And be grateful for that and look back. You know, someone said one time, go back. I know not everyone has a bio. We have bios because we work in the media and like in this life, we have bios, right? But if you don't have a bio and you can't go

back and read your accomplishments occasionally, just list out everything you've accomplished in your life and everything that you've accomplished. And people sometimes say, well, I don't know if I've accomplished anything. You know, there's nothing I've done so far. But there's, I mean, anything, right? Graduating from school, having a baby, you know, getting married, finding your first job, moving away from home, like all those are accomplishments, you know? And it helps to look back at your bio sometimes, I think, too. I do that. Just to sort of like be a cheerleader for yourself, I think we forget and we doubt ourselves. And even like before this interview, you know, you think I wanted to talk about certain things. And then I'm like,

well, you've got to look and think like what you've done. And it just feels weird to me. to do that. But at the same time, who's going to be your biggest cheerleader if you're not, right? You're with yourself all the time. Might as well be your biggest cheerleader, right? I mean, you don't have to go out and be like, hey, I did this and I did that, but just tell yourself that. And then it gives you more energy. Yeah. And it gives you confidence. And actually, one of my mentoring clients, we had that task. We said, go get your resume or look at your LinkedIn profile. It was all business people. and look and read through it as someone coming in and meeting you for the first time. And then you'll begin to see yourself through that, you know, rose-colored glass.

Oh, that is really impressive. And also reading back testimonials that people will leave you. Or I keep a file on my phone called fam love. And anytime someone sends me a really nice note, I screenshot and I put it in there. And when I'm having a tough day, I look through those little notes and say, oh, yeah, I remember, this is all good. Yeah, I mean, because I think a lot of, lot of times we can focus on the negative comments. You know, there's that whole thing about non-attachment

and that don't get attached to the good or the bad, right? I remember someone saying something about non-attachment. I was like, well, I can't go into a relationship non-attached or to, you know, starting a business non-attached. But I think their point was, and I think it's a Hindu belief, possibly if someone knows they can email us, but it's non-attachment to the good or the bad. So you're not attached to the high. You're not attached to the low. You can flow in both spaces and not be like rollercoaster with it, right? So your emotions are not rollercoastered because of what people are saying. When you want more, start your business with Northwest Registered Agent and get access to thousands of free guides, tools and legal forms

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slash confidence-free. Wow, yeah, that's powerful because I'm the roller coaster girl. Like I'm riding the roller coaster every day in my life. It's high, it's lows. It's scary lows. It's really high. so exciting. I'm screaming. I feel it. I'm throwing up now. Literally. Welcome to quarantine.

So tell me, where did the whole kindness thing come from? Well, you know, it's so interesting. Growing up, my mom says, now that I can really sit back and look, she said that I'm very much like her mother, my grandmother, Tute. We called her grandma Tute. I'm not sure why. But when she passed, My mom said she found a piece of paper in her purse that was just written on. It was like in the 70s, I guess, and it said kindness is the oil that takes friction out of life. And so my mom cross-stitched that and it hung in our house all my life, right? So it was always around because my mom had made that of her mom's quote that she had found somewhere. Was that word just embedded there always?

Were my parents who I totally consider very kind people? they're very happy. Like, I feel like they were born happy and born kind and always allowed me to be kind to animals, you know, like I saved every animal in the neighborhood, the rat or the squirrel or the dog or the, you know, the cat with three legs or whatever. Wait a minute. I'm starting to get a glimpse into some of the boyfriend choices you've made right now. Saving everyone.

Okay, go ahead. Oh, my God. That might, that's a very good point, Heather. There is a little bit of a savior fix. like help. There is definitely a helping thing, which I think is coincides with kindness, right? But I would say probably the big shift of why it actually happens is like about four years ago I had a situation happened to me where I actually was doing an act of kindness for someone and I literally got in trouble for it, which was another pivot in my life. And so much so

that it was a pivot where I almost gave up on kindness. I was like, I questioned my own kindness. I questioned like, I remember saying to myself, you're so gullible and like stupid and like, why do you always have to help people? Why do you always have to pick things up? Why do you always have to? Why, why, why, why? I didn't give up on kindness. I actually chose not to fight the hate with hate or the misunderstanding with more misunderstanding. I just knew that in the end that the truth would be told kindness would elevate. I didn't know it was kindness at the time. I just knew that my truth would elevate in some capacity. So I started writing a lot because I like to write, which turned into maybe this should be a book. Maybe this should be like one of those calls to actions on the internet. Nothing ever felt right.

So I started looking for signs. And then about six months later, I was like, stop it already with the kindness. Like, leave it alone. Like clearly something's not happening here. Clearly whatever is supposed to be formulating is not working for you, Lou. And I was driving down Sunset Boulevard, and I saw a guy with a sign that said something about kindness. And I was like, there it is. Right. And the next couple days, I woke up and I knew, I was like, I know what I wanted it to be. I wanted to be like Thrive Global. Like, because Thrive Global is about like environment and positive and it's a magazine website. So I called a friend that I had known from me. many years who was in marketing and branding and just gave him the idea and said,

what do you think? And we just took off from there. But that was two years ago. And I've just been sitting in that space and developing that space. And it's amazing how things show up. I'm like, are there more kindness things out there? Or I'm just more aware of the kindness that's out there, right? Not acts that I see, but things that are being said about kindness. It breaks my heart as a news anchor, to be honest, to see all the negativity and the people being mean to each other. And it just, like, why can't we get along? Why can't we be kind to each other? Instead of like pushing some, some woman pushed another woman down in a store the other day. She was like 70 with a cane and something happened about a mask, fight about a mask or whatever. And the woman, the other woman

pushed the 70-year-old woman who, I mean, it was just like, I was like, who are these people? And why can't we just be kindness wins, right? Why can't we just be? kind to each other, right? I know people are negative. You just made me think of something, you know, everyone's saying take a break from the news and take a break from media because it's overwhelmingly negative, right? You can't take a break from it. Holy cow. That must do a number on you seeing that much negativity every day. It's very difficult. I think we just, as journalists, learn to, we say like put the wall in front of the heart because if we got emotional about every single story, we'd be a basket case. But I truly believe that our souls and our bodies can't

help, but I'm taking it in and then not only taking it in, now I'm sharing it with you, which is interesting, right? I mean, we also tell great stories and we tell good stories and we help people and we find injustices that are happening. And so the power of TV is amazing because we can raise a bunch of money for someone who needs it or find someone who ran over someone and then kept going because we were able to share that story. But, you know, that's why we have vacation and that's why, you know, in terms of self-care and what I talk about a lot with Be Kind and Co is self-care. Like we have to, no matter what profession you're in mind is just a little bit more intense, but think about like firefighters, police, people who

drive ambulances, first responders, nurses, doctors. Think about what they go through as well, right? But then like what we're all going through now collectively, even hearing the stories of tens of thousands of people dying, if we don't stop and check in with ourselves and say how do I feel about this? You know, because stress is starting. You can feel the tension around right now, right? Everyone's like, it's just getting to the point where. But I think it's because we might not be checking in, right? So we've got to like, and I'm guilty of it too, just to stop, meditate, just get quiet, take a bath. go on a walk without your AirPods or whatever they're called, the ear things that I finally just got.

You don't have to always have those in your ear. You don't always have to be listening to something, including music. I'm not a big TV watcher. And Sunday night, I did something like I was like, I got home and I said, you know what tonight? You're going to give self-care to yourself. You're just going to watch a movie tonight. I don't know what you're going to watch, but you're going to sit on the couch. You're going to turn on the TV and you're not going to work. You're not going to listen to a podcast. you're not going to, you're just going to check your brain out. And it was so awesome. I haven't done that in three months.

Gosh, you needed a break. I'm so glad that you gave yourself. I mean, it was just like a documentary on Netflix, you know, but it allowed me to check out, which is important for everybody. You got to figure out whatever your checkout is to do it because if not, we're going to implode. But that's where Be Kind and Co comes in

because it's a place for people to go where they can feel good and know that they're going to get positive, uplifting messaging, not negativity. And that can be the checkout and that can be the escape. Exactly. Thank you. And it's not be kind and co. Like, woo, fluffy all the time, like, you know, helping someone on the street type of thing. It's, it's self-care, it's environment, it's in relationships, it's with your kids. It's kindness in that moment when you're driving, when you want to be like, I'm actually a very patient driver, but I have friends who are not. And I'm like, whoa, what are you doing with the, like the horn's getting ready to get hit

before anyone's doing anything wrong, right? And so just recognize those spaces, right? Where I really believe that I actually get off on letting people in front of me or letting someone not honking at someone when they're sitting at the light because they're texting because I've been guilty of that too, giving them three seconds now. If it's 10 seconds, they're going to get the horn. but giving them the three seconds for me it's very gentle right so they go oh no oh i just realized i'm at the light oh she didn't honk at me oh that's cool she didn't honk at me their day is much

better right because they're not going to get the like you know yelling at them right and because then all that does is stress me out it stresses them out and why not if you can be kind one if everyone could be kind one time a day, that energy in the universe, it shifts. It changes just like being negative shifts the universe as well. Oh my gosh. That's so well said. And I'm so grateful that you created Be Kind and Code to put more good in the world. And thank you for featuring me and giving me an opportunity to write for it. So I really appreciate you doing that. No, you've been so awesome. I know Heather and I met at KTLA. She came on to speak. What were you talking about your book? I think. My book. She came on to talk and I had just started thinking about getting into the speaking world where you speak on stage and she had mentioned that she did that.

So I was like, oh, I don't want to ask her. I don't know her. And so I just pulled her aside and we didn't know each other at all. And I said, hey, I'm just sort of thinking about the speaking thing and what do you think about it and blah. And she was like, she goes, you totally should do it. Of course. You totally should do it. This is how I did it.

I'll send you an email with some information. information. And I was like, oh, you're so sweet. Thanks. Heather, Lou, nice to meet you, whatever. Literally, like, seven hours later, I get, like, seven pages of, like, everything she's ever, like, done, research, contacts, who I should link into, what bureaus I should go to. It was just really cool. That was an act of kindness. Because if you really think about it, it's women to women, too, like, which is an issue a lot of times is women don't want to support other women, right? And I talk about that a lot. I think it's so important for us to hold each other up. Your success does not mean my failure, right? It's like success. There's so much opportunity. And by you helping me that day, you help propel me forward, right? And now here we are now, right? Whatever that means. But I'll never forget that because you took it upon yourself instead of saying, oh, I'm not going to help this TV anchor. She already has, you know, her job. And she doesn't, you know, it'll be competition for me on stage. You totally were like here, bleh. And you gave me everything.

You know, I believe much like you that putting good out into the world comes back to you tenfold. And I never know what it's going to be. But if I keep showing up and doing that next right thing and supporting people, it will show up for me. And how many times have you guys had me back on KTLA since? And how much, you know, we've gotten to know each other and become friends. And, you know, we're able to do so many different things together. And we're going to hold events in the future when life comes back to a more normal.

Like we, so it ended up, I'm so glad. I was able to help you with that and shoot that email to you and support you in some way because it snowballed out of that, you know, to be so much more. So for all that you've done for me, I'm super grateful. Well, back at you. Well, you are a unicorn, my friend. I have to tell you, an incredible woman full of kindness in a world that isn't always full of kindness and in a business that definitely isn't full of kindness. So thank you for creating kind and co. How can people find you and find Be Kind and Co. Be Kind and Co is easy. It's just Be Kind and Co.com. And we have all the content there that you can check out. I just wrote a blog about decisions and the power of making a

decision and why when you just make it, how much better you're going to feel moving forward. Like we talked about earlier, you can go on there and sign up for our newsletter. We're going to have weekly newsletters now. We used to only have monthly and now we're going to have weekly. And I'm like, ah, weekly. I don't know. But the cool thing is I'm going to be able to connect with everybody on a weekly basis and say hi and also find out what you guys want to listen to and what you want to hear and what you want to read and what your interests are. Everyone knows they can find you on KTLA and catch you there, but how about on social media? Social media is Lou Parker, LA for Instagram and then Lou Parker. But, you know, Be Kind and Co is where we're focused a lot right now.

And I think that if you're interested in the kindness, I'm always talking about kindness with Lou Parker stuff too, but there's Be Kind and Co on all platforms. LinkedIn, and then me for Lou Parker. Thank you, Lou. Hold tight. We're going to be right back and check out the show notes below. You will see all the links to Lou sites there. Hold tight. I hope you enjoyed meeting Lou as much as I enjoyed just getting to sit down with her,

even though it was virtually just seeing her face. Oh, and I'm actually going to share on social media on LinkedIn, of course, and Facebook and Instagram and Twitter. I'll put up a video of her and I jamming out on. Zoom so you can actually see this complete knockout. She's unbelievable. Okay, so hopefully you love Lou. I love Lou and check out her stuff. She's doing amazing work about kindness and it's definitely worthwhile. We're checking out. As we mentioned, I did a blog for her on her new media platform and be kind as I mean, you get to check it out. Okay. So I was asked, actually today I was on a coaching call with one of my clients and he asked me, he said, Heather, where do you see yourself and what does your business look like in the next five? 10 years. And I laughed. And let me tell you why. When I used to be in corporate America, it was very clear to me. I would end up being a CEO of a major company and I'd innovate that

company and I'd win awards and get covers of business magazines, whatever. That really was my path. And that's what I was going to do. It was a chief revenue officer. So I was the number two at a publicly traded company. And for me to get to the next spot, I would just need to either be promoted or jump to another company and do that. As we all know, that did not work out when I got fired. and ended up going to work for myself. Complete irony. I am the CEO now. Just not a publicly traded company.

So when my client asked me this, I said, listen, here's the thing. I reflect back on that time in corporate America, and I was naive to think that I just could plot it all out. And for a long time, my little plotting it out had been working. So I was deferring to that same methodology. I just thought it would always work. And, you know, I'd get that next step. And again, it's not because it would be handed to me. I'd have to push and I'd have to, you know, finagle my way and figure it out, but I would.

And then I became an entrepreneur. And then I didn't know I'd write a book. And then I didn't know I'd launch a speaking career because I didn't even know speaking was a business. I didn't know people got paid for that. And then I didn't know I'd launch a podcast. And then I didn't know I'd do a TED Talk. And then I didn't know I'd sign with Harper Collins leadership for my second book. And then I didn't know the pandemic would come.

And I'd launch an executive coaching program and mentoring program. I didn't know any of these things. And to that end, this is why I believe this now, here's what I can tell you what my business will look like in the future. I will be helping as many people as possible. I will bring good into the world. I will teach and share all that I know. I will be making millions because the more money that I make, the more I can give back, the faster I can grow and help others and support people. And that's what I want to do.

So that's what I'll be doing. Do I know what that looks like? Heck, no, I don't. And to say that I'm so clear on what it looks like isn't real. And sometimes I think we say those things because we want safety and prediction or we want to believe it'll be a certain way. But I'm not naive anymore. I know that the path will reveal itself as I continue to move forward. And this is a micro example of that.

Who knows if the pandemic is gone when the vaccine comes out six, nine months from now, whatever, whenever it is. And suddenly the speaking business blows up, and I'm speaking everywhere, every week again, and that's my number one revenue driver. And suddenly I have to pivot everything again. Who knows if my new book next year will take off? And then suddenly I'm, you know, charged with writing another book immediately, and I have to really change my schedule. Who knows? Who knows if the podcast doesn't blow up?

And suddenly, who knows? We don't know. So what we have to do is just show up as our authentic self every day, have confidence and certainty that we don't know what's going to happen next, but that we believe in ourselves and who we are in doing good, that other good's going to happen for us and that we're just going to keep on moving forward and figure it out along the way. That is what I hope for you. That is what I'm stepping into. And that is what I'm sticking with. So until next week, I hope you keep creating confidence within you because I'll be right here with you doing it together.