Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - #97: It's Never Too Late To Start!
Episode Date: March 9, 2021Are you stuck in fear? Step INTO fear instead! I’m here to tell you that confidence is not something you need to get started. Just start and the confidence will come! But don’t just take it from m...e. My guest today is the superstar fitness and nutrition coach, Christmas Abbott, who took the world by storm with her mission to help others recognize their potential and live a life they LOVE. Stop living in doubt! You are never too old and it is never too late. Stake your claims and they will become true. Don’t believe it? Listen in and discover how Christmas does it every day. And you can too! About the Guest: From a reckless teenager to a top fitness and nutrition professional and influencer, Christmas has done extraordinary things that set her apart from all others in the industry. Christmas first discovered her self worth and passion in her contracting years in Baghdad, Iraq during Operation Iraqi Freedom. Afterwards, she went on and competed professionally in the CrossFit Games, USA Weightlifting Nationals, and made history as the first female pit crew member for NASCAR. Christmas didn’t stop there as she became a National Bestseller with her first book “Badass Body Diet” and went on a US and world tour with her nutrition seminar. In addition to touring for her seminars, Christmas has worked closely with several Vet nonprofit organizations helping the transition from active military to civilian life through nutrition, fitness, and lifestyle education. Christmas has also been highlighted on all major news channels for interviews and/or featured as an expert including: Self, CBS, NBC, NBC Sports, ABC, Fox & Friends, Harry, Steve Harvey, HBO Real Sports, Kris Jenner Show, Muscle & Fitness, NY Times, Shape, Cosmo, Self, Muscle & Fitness Hers, and many others. Finding Christmas Abbott: Visit her website: https://christmasabbott.com/ Read The Badass Body Diet Instagram: @christmasabbott Facebook: @ChristmasAbbottFanPage Download her App: https://www.christmasfitness.com/ To inquire about my coaching program opportunity visit https://mentorship.heathermonahan.com/ Review this podcast on Apple Podcast using this LINK and when you DM me the screen shot, I buy you my $299 video course as a thank you! My book Confidence Creator is available now! get it right HERE If you are looking for more tips you can download my free E-book at my website and thank you! https://heathermonahan.com *If you'd like to ask a question and be featured during the wrap up segment of Creating Confidence, contact Heather Monahan directly through her website and don’t forget to subscribe to the mailing list so you don’t skip a beat to all things Confidence Creating! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Transcript
Discussion (0)
Come on this journey with me.
Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals.
We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow.
I'm ready for my closer.
Hi, and welcome back.
I'm so excited.
You're back here with me again this week.
So it has been a crazy week.
I don't know how your week has been.
I hope it has been fantastic.
For me, I had a big keynote for Molson Cores for
their entire company. So it was all around the world. And you know what's funny is people will say,
oh, it's got to be so much easier doing keynotes virtually now. Not really. I mean, yes and no, right?
You don't have to take a flight somewhere, which is great because you save so much time.
However, you're not in the room. You don't feed off the energy. You don't respond and pivot based upon
what you're getting back from the audience. So this was the first keynote I've done on
Microsoft Teams. Every time I do a keynote on a different platform, there is that concern that
technology is going to go wrong, right? Because it's happened so many times in the last year
through this virtual world. It's been ridiculous. I've been on so many virtual keynotes and
expos that have gone down that it's just, it's crazy. And you never know what's going to happen.
So I was nervous about the technology. Now, the team at Molson Cours is amazing. And
We did two tech checks in the month leading up to the big event.
So we felt good about it, but we still know that anything can go wrong day of.
And, you know, we just have to get ready for it.
What was so interesting, though, the team was so fantastic.
And we had so many meetings leading up to this event because this was a huge deal for them.
And obviously, I want to do a fantastic job for them.
I had never worked with them before.
They had found me through LinkedIn, I believe, or through my website.
I'm not sure.
So anyhow, it didn't come through a speaker agency.
It came direct and a huge opportunity for me.
So I wanted to kill it.
I was nervous.
And people asked me, oh, do you ever get nervous anymore?
Heck yeah.
And here's what I always do.
I start saying, oh, I'm excited.
I'm excited, right?
There's this fine line between fear and excitement.
And I shift it in my head.
I grab my lavender, which is funny during Zoom meetings.
I have it right next to me.
I have my notes out next to me,
which is something I don't do in person.
So that's also a plus, right?
So key points that I want to make sure I head on.
But I've definitely stepped into this.
I trust myself, you know, and I went into this meeting knowing there was two different
approaches I could try.
And I wasn't sure which one I was going to go with.
But I just kept saying, I'm going to know which way to go.
I trust myself.
I know that probably makes you super scared hearing that.
And it probably would have made me scared a year ago.
But now I've done so many of these that I know.
it's going to go great, right? I visualize it in my mind ahead of time. I see myself smiling. I see the chat
thread lighting up. I see it all going down. And that this isn't my first rodeo. I've done so many of
these now that I do know it's going to go great, right? However, something that's interesting that I have
learned is that things land differently with different people. So you're messaging, you know,
you can have the same conversation with two different people and get different responses. The messages
either connect or they don't land the exact same way. You know,
what I mean? So it's the same way with speaking engagements. I gave a speaking engagement two weeks
ago. The people were screaming, freaking out. I received hundreds of messages right out. I mean,
it was nuts. My message landed. You know, that was like a hit it out of the park.
Wasn't any different than the speaking engagement I did last week or one I'll do this week,
but there are just moments where the audience, it just lands in such a powerful way.
It's, oh my gosh, it's so exciting when that happened.
I'm sure you know what that feels like when you nail a presentation or you have a meeting and just lands.
They get it.
And it's such a great feeling.
It feels so proud of yourself.
So you can't see faces.
So you don't know on Microsoft teams, all I see is my head in this red box.
Pretty much, that's it, which is super annoying.
But I'm trying to look at the camera, right?
Because that's one of the keys.
When you're in Zoom meetings, don't look at yourself.
Look at the camera.
That will help you land better and connect with your audience.
And I knew it was going well.
I thought it was going well.
You can see the chat thread firing up because there's so many people on these types of meetings, right?
But you can't let yourself get taken away by it because you can go down a scary road,
meaning if you start reading all these comments, you're going to forget what you were saying.
So it's easy to get distracted.
So I have to really discipline myself not to look at the chat thread, except when I ask an open-ended question,
which I do a few different times during the presentation to see, you know, what's resonating
with people and then steer the conversation in that direction. And so I really thought it was going
great, but I had some concerns. Here was one concern that was totally out of my control.
They messaged me the night before and said, we need you to get on 30 minutes earlier because
we want to do additional tech check and, you know, we want you to meet the CFO and blah, blah,
blah. And so I did it. And one of the things I hadn't thought about was my AirPods, right? I had my
AirPods and that's what we had been doing the tech check on. It was so long before I was actually
speaking, that I thought, oh my gosh, what if my AirPods die? I hadn't planned for that, right? So, oh, God, I was just going to have to
roll with it and go with the computer-only audio. It didn't. It died literally five minutes after I got off.
But I had a Zoom meeting, right, a coaching meeting with my team right after. It was crazy. It was
total, that day was just total chaos. Anyhow, so I'm on the meeting, and there's all of these people on
on the Molson core side. And it was so cute what I observed. And it really meant a lot to me.
And this is why I want to share it with you. Wherever you work, don't ever undervalue positive
feedback, reinforcement and encouragement. I did not have this in corporate America. And this is why it
really just, oh, it hit me in the heart so much. When you're a presenter, you're in a different
view than other people are. So I can see the backs, you know, they call it behind the stage or, you know,
behind the scenes. So I can see all the private chat thread going on within the company that
the rest of the company can't see. There's two threads. One is a behind the stage and one is
what everyone sees. And in the behind the stage one, I could see the team, the event team,
encouraging one another. And I almost choked up. It was so the woman that opened up the event,
she was reading, you know, a script. And the team was going wild for her in the private backstage.
You're killing it. Great job, Michelle. So proud of you. Way to open it up with fire. You're amazing. It really, she was just, she read a paragraph. I couldn't believe it. And it just reminded me of how important positive feedback is for people in any situation. How important it is to be a part of a team where the culture is just you encourage. And so then they handed it to the next woman. Then the CFO spoke. And they did the same thing for her. And everyone was going crazy for her.
And then they handed it to the person that I, my point person at Molson Cores, who she's amazing.
And she was doing my bio and introducing me. And they were going crazy for her. And it just,
it really choked me up. And I just wanted to share with you, don't ever underestimate when you
have the possibility to add value to someone by giving positive feedback, encouragement,
letting them know that you're with them, cheering them. It meant so much. And they had so much
fun with it. And it was so cute and so positive. And I had to share it with the team when they
handed the keynote over to me. I had to let everyone know. Guys, you can't imagine what's going
on backstage right now. This is unbelievable to be a part of this company and in this moment
in a culture where people truly cheer for one another, especially, you know, with International
Women's Day and Women's Month and reflecting back on that awful environment I used to be in,
where it was so fake and it was a facade. And that woman that I worked with was not cheering me on.
And she was trying to knock me off.
And always trust your gut.
You know, I'd always question, well, maybe I'm just crazy.
I don't know why I'm thinking that it's like this.
No, I wasn't crazy.
I was dead on right.
And I should have been working on getting out of there.
But I just, for whatever reason, I was bearing my head in the sand, hoping just go away.
And on Clubhouse this week, I had a young lady come into my confidence and cocktails every
Friday at 5 p.m. E.S.T.
And she was saying, I work for a villain.
My boss is a villain.
And I'm not appreciated it.
and they put me down. And I'm like, pump the brakes. That's enough. Quit. There has got to be
another environment in the world where people will treat you better, right? Oftentimes people
say, well, I can fix it. I can make it better. And sometimes you can, but when the visceral way
she was describing it, no, get out of there. Just as much as Molson Cores was such a positive
environment, it was that clear that this woman was describing such a negative environment. Run,
run for the hills. So anyways, I got a DM from her. That was Friday. I got a DM from her over the
weekend that she quit and already landed a new opportunity. So sometimes you just got to jump
and know that your wings will arrive. They will open and you will be okay. That is the world that
I am still living in today. So I'm really excited for you to meet my guest this week. I actually
met her at another speaking event in the expo that I did, I believe it was last year.
She was a keynote speaker too on the roster. I met her. We just hit it off. Come to find out,
actually lives in Florida, which is so crazy after we did the interview. She said, you know,
the next time I come to Miami, let's go out. And I thought, how cool is that? And P.S., how cool
is it going to be when we actually get to see people in real life? One of my closest girlfriends
flew in from L.A. to see me and my son and another one of our friends over the weekend. And it was
just, we haven't seen her since before the pandemic. And oh my gosh, my heart was just
filled with joy. It was so amazing, so fun, so excited.
So positive. We got to go to the gym together. And she and I love to work out. And neither one of us have been going to a gym. And it was just, oh my gosh, so grateful for things that we used to take for granted. It's insane. She made us go on a bike ride, which I haven't been on a real bike. I go to SoulCycle every day and it's been like crazy on a stationary bike. But she had us go on a real bike ride. And it was so funny. Yes, you do just remember how to ride.
again, but it was hysterical. We were the worst drivers, and it was so out of left field and just,
oh my gosh, it was so amazing. So I can't wait for the day that it's just the world is 100% back
open again and can't wait to see people that I've now met during this Zoom world to see them
in real life. Can you imagine that? Think about all the people that we now only know through a
computer and getting to actually shake hands or hug and hang out. It's going to be so exciting.
I'm so looking forward to it. Okay. So my guest today,
is someone who I've only met virtually, but I am going to meet her in Miami because she promised
me she's going to come down.
Crazy story.
From a reckless teenager to a top fitness and nutrition professional and influencer, Christmas
Abbott has done extraordinary things that set her apart from everyone else.
She first discovered her self-worth and passion in her contracting years in Baghdad, Iraq.
I mean, this woman was in Iraq.
She went on to Crosby Games, USA Weightlifting Nationals, and made history as the first
female pit crew member for NASCAR. She did not stop there. She's a national bestseller with
badass body diet, went on U.S. and World Tour with her nutritional seminars. She's got her app that
just came out. Christmas is such a talented, unbelievable, positive light. And I'm so excited for you
to meet her. Hang tight. We're going to be right back. Welcome back. I'm so excited for you to meet
Christmas Abbott from a reckless teenager to top fitness and nutrition professional
and influencer, Christmas has done extraordinary things that set her apart from all others in the
industry. Christmas first discovered her self-worth and passion in her contracting years in Baghdad
Iraq during Operation Iraqi Freedom. Holy cow. Afterwards, she went on and competed professionally
in the CrossFit Games, USA Weightlifting Nationals, and made history as the first female
pick crew member of NASCAR. Christmas didn't stop there as she became a national bestseller
with her first book, Badass Body Diet and went on a U.S. World Tour with her nutrition seminar.
In addition to touring for her seminars, Christmas has worked closely with several vet nonprofit
organizations helping a transition from active military to civilian life through nutrition,
fitness, and lifestyle education. Christmas has also been highlighted in all major news channels
for interviews and featured, including Self, CBS, NBC, NBC Sports, ABC, Fox, Harry, Steve Harvey,
Harvey, I mean, the list goes on and on Christmas.
Thank you so much for being here with us today. Oh, man. Thank you so much. It's so crazy because I,
when I saw you, we were speaking at the same virtual event together. And I always try to pop in and
catch a little bit of, you know, everybody just to see what's out there and whatnot. And your
speech and the fire that you brought was palpable. And I just, I was so drawn to your energy.
So I'm super excited to have you here today. Oh, thanks. I mean, I get that from my mom.
Come on, you know.
Well, Christmas, it sounds like, you know, well, it doesn't sound like, first of all,
anyone goes to your Instagram.
They're going to see how freaking confident you are.
You are Uber confident now, but it did not start out that way.
So if you could share with us some of your backstory and where you came from.
You know, growing up, I was, we were just kind of dirt poor.
And literally my parents were bikers.
We just lived in a different lifestyle than what you would see.
most people, especially most athletes, right? We didn't play sports. I grew up just kind of, I mean,
I had everything that I needed, but anything extra, I had to figure out myself. And I won't say that I was,
I think I was a super confident kid kid, but I really believe that like you have to train your confidence.
You have to train yourself to be willing to fail, to take that chance, to be uncomfortable, to be nervous,
to be told no over and over and over.
And then also, you have to be willing to accept the rewards that taking that step can lead to,
which I think is more terrifying than actually failing.
So for me, like, I had a really turbulent teenage years, and I used that as a crutch to not
be more myself and be daring and step into my own power.
But there's only so long that you can kind of hide from yourself before you're just like,
I'm miserable. I'm not like, this isn't who I am and you start freaking out. And usually you find that
in midlife crisis, but I was fortunate enough to find it early in my 20s. And I just,
I wanted to make a change. And there was no significant goal. There was no like, this is what's going to
happen. And this is the plan. I just took action. That's it. Like I made a decision and I started
taking action and I was like, okay, let me just see where this takes me. And that's where I was able to
really kind of dive into all these really unique things and build my confidence. I didn't have confidence
when I started. That's it. Like people were like, oh, how did you get your confidence to start?
It was kind of a reverse engineer. I just started and then the confidence came as I kept doing it.
And you didn't even really know where you were going. You just figured I'm just going to keep
stepping into uncertainty and see where it takes me? I had no clue. I had no clue. And what I tell people
all the time, I'm like, look, you can have a pre kind of determined experience in your mind.
People are like, oh, I would never do that. Well, have you tried it? And then, but they're so certain.
They're like, no, I won't like it because this and this and this. And I'm like, you were just
literally limiting yourself. You're restricting yourself to all of these unknown and like these
potentially beautiful experiences. One, you might actually like it.
It might give you a different experience.
Fear is excitement just reassessed.
And so for what I did, I just had no idea what I was doing.
And I just wanted something better for myself.
So I started saying yes and living more in fear than from fear.
You know, I was making decisions that scared me.
And I was okay sitting in that fear of like whatever it was, like heights, going into a war zone,
trying something new, being vulnerable, being laughing.
at being, you know, failing, then not doing something because of my fear of it. And so I decided to
live in fear, not from fear. That's powerful. You brought up Iraq, which I can't even imagine.
And if anyone is hearing this just on audio, you have to know Christmas is such a beautiful woman.
To me, that sounds scary on so many levels, scary for your life and not knowing if you could get
killed. Scary that I'm sure you're one of very few women out there. You're the only woman
that looks like you, I would imagine in Iraq.
So I would just imagine just being in another country in a war zone.
Was that the scariest thing you've ever done?
At that time.
You know, I was 22.
I went into Iraq.
I was in Baghdad.
And we had incoming.
So we had mortar rounds.
Our camp got bombed.
There's a few other times where I just like, it was really close.
You know, they would hit the camps.
And you have friends that either got injured or passed.
You know, it's a scary time to think about that's a,
peace of our world that we're in an act of war. And then also, you know, like a few weeks earlier,
I was so oblivious to what was happening. And it just, yeah, it puts things in perspective.
Like, it grounds you quickly and it takes away all the bullshit. So that's not an experience that
you regret going through. It was the changing point in my life. It changed. It saves my life,
hands down. Saved it. To kind of give you a little bit of perspective, like I did a lot of crazy
things as a teenager, but in my early 20s, like, it just progressively got more and more.
It's like you push that threshold more and more, either a continuum of I'm working towards
a healthier life or I'm working towards a more disastrous life. And I was working towards a more
disastrous life. And, you know, I was doing really, really heavy hard drugs before I went to
Iraq. And I know it's like you accept your environment and you accept it like other people don't,
you know, like, they're like, you don't, you'll never be able to do this. That's not who you are.
That's not where you came from. And that blind acceptance is what holds people back. And it's not their
true truth. And for me, you know, hanging around with people doing drugs every day wasn't the
environment that I cultivated, but it wasn't me. And so when I went to Iraq, I had such as radical
change that it literally saved my life. I would have been, you know, most likely,
in a ditch across the street somewhere because of drug use or just making bad decisions.
When you want more, start your business with Northwest Registered Agent and get access to
thousands of free guides, tools, and legal forms to help you launch and protect your business.
All in one place. Build your complete business identity with Northwest today. Northwest
registered agents has been helping small business owners and entrepreneurs launch and grow businesses
for nearly 30 years. They are the largest registered agent and LLC service in the
the U.S. with over 1,500 corporate guides, real people who know your local laws and can help you
in your business every step of the way. Build your business identity fast with Northwest
registered agent and get access to thousands of free resources, forms, and step-by-step
guides without even creating an account. Sign up for a free account to begin managing your business
hub with lawyer drafted operating agreements, bylaws, resolutions, membership, certificates,
bills of sale, and more, all at no cost. Northwest is your
one-stop business resource. Learn how to build a professional website, what annual filings your
business needs to stay in good standing, and simple explanations of complicated business laws.
With Northwest privacy is automatic. They never sell your data, and all services are handled
in-house. Because privacy by default is their pledge to all customers. Don't wait. Protect your
privacy. Build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes.
Visit northwest registered agent.com slash confidence-free and start building something amazing.
Get more with Northwest Registered Agent at www. northwest registered agent.com
slash confidence-free.
Starting the year with a wardrobe refresh, Quince has you covered with lux essentials that feel effortless and look polished.
They're perfect for layering, mixing, and building a wardrobe that lasts.
Their versatile styles make it.
easy to reach for them day after day. Quince has all the staples covered from soft Mongolian
cashmere sweaters that feel like designer pieces without the markup to 100% silk tops and skirts
for easy dressing up to perfectly cut denim for everyday wear. Their wardrobe essentials are
crafted to last season after season. Their Italian wool coats are real standouts. They're
beautifully tailored to soft to the touch and built to carry you through years of wear, not just one
season. The quality shows in every detail, the stitching, the fit, the fabrics. Every piece is
thoughtfully designed to be your new wardrobe essential. And like everything from Quince,
each piece is made from premium materials and ethical trusted factories that are priced
far below what other luxury brands charge. I can't tell you how much I am loving my new cashmere
sweater. It's a staple for sure, and I can't wait to give one to my best friend for her birthday
this year. It is timeless, gorgeous, and the softest thing I've ever touched. Which quince pieces
are you interested in it? I mean, from the bags to the denim, to the sweaters, to the jackets,
they're all incredible luxury high-end products without the high-end price. Refresh your wardrobe
with quince. Don't wait. Go to quince.com slash confidence for free shipping on your order and
365-day returns. Now available in Canada, too. That's your
Q-U-I-N-C-E.com slash confidence to get free shipping and 365 day returns.
Quince.com slash confidence.
But how do you not fall back into that when you came back to the States?
Because I would imagine once you're there, it's discipline, you're in a structured environment,
and you're being told what to do.
But once you're giving your autonomy and freedom back when you came back home,
how did you not fall back to bad habits again?
Well, my epiphany was pretty impacting.
It was, you know, that moment.
of like, I don't know what to do, but I just need to do something. You know, when have you had
enough, when you've had enough? And for me, it wasn't perfection. It wasn't like every decision
wasn't the best decision, but it was a better decision than what I had the option of choosing
at the time. So I also was in Iraq for four full years. So I had a lot of discipline and I mean,
it was my life university, as I call it. I'm like, where did you go to school? I didn't,
but I went to Iraq for four years. And I worked for the
parabilitary company. So it helped me structure and schedule and really like
reinforce all these things that I wanted to implement. But I would say that the fear,
like knowing that I had finally started to tap into my true self and my potential,
that was what the driving force was. And so for a while I was making decisions to stay away
from this old lifestyle. Like I didn't like it. I didn't like who I was. I didn't feel good.
it's a hard life. It's much harder than doing workouts every day. I'm going to tell you.
Like, it's much. People were like, oh my gosh, I can't meal prep. I can't workout all this stuff.
I'm like, the alternative choice is significantly more painful and significantly harder and more
expensive in the long run. So I knew that I didn't want to go to that life anymore. And so I just
started making decisions to better decisions. And it led me to a pretty incredible life. So I still struggle
with discipline and schedule and like all the things that people do. I'm not nearly as regimented
as I used to be coming home from Iraq and while I was in Iraq. But I also can find the balance of
living a little bit of a life now instead of just so strict. So was it working out in Iraq that
started opening your ideas to the fitness industry and the fitness world? Actually, no, I think that
it was coming home after Iraq that that's what that was. I mean, I didn't do any workout or
sports until Iraq. So that was, and I figured, you know, here I am 22 years old doing my first
mile run and it killed me. I couldn't walk for a week. I was too late to the game, you know.
And when I came home, I just kept doing what I loved and it made me feel good. It made me feel
like worthy of myself. And I knew that when I got to work out, it was going to be a better day.
And I also have fought depression from a childhood, you know, from my early teens, even to today.
I fight and that helped me handle that, you know, and be able to control that.
And then it just like, I got pushed into competing because I was like, I'm not a competitor.
I got pushed into competing and I discovered a whole new world.
So you said something that's really important that I want to highlight, which is you had a moment where you thought, oh, I'm too late to the game.
I'm starting sports in my 20s. This is ridiculous. I grew up as an athlete, well, a child.
athlete, you know, I was playing sports my whole entire life. So when you said that, it really resonated.
I can imagine if I knew you in my 20s, I wouldn't say, why are you starting this now?
Right? It just, it doesn't make sense. But somehow you were able to push through that,
that lie that was out there and say, it doesn't matter that I'm starting in my 20s. I'm starting,
and that is all that matters and just keep going. Because now to see where you are and what you've
accomplished in the fitness industry after starting in your 20s, it just goes to show it is never
too late for anyone. Not at all. Not at all. And I mean, everybody can, you decide today to start
your journey. And I'm, you know, I'm 39. I'll be 40 this year. I'm really excited about it.
But I'm also like, oh my God, what now? And there's a lot of, there's a lot of projects that I'm,
I'm really excited about. But then you also have that, that little voice, you know, society in the
back of your mind, you're like, girl, you're 40. You're going to start a new project? And I'm like, yes,
yes. And I have to, I have to combat it, you know, because it's still, even with all the things that I've
done, that doubt naturally kind of comes back to me and that voice comes back. And I'm like, no,
bitch, you don't get to, you don't have that say. Like, this is my choice and I'm going to succeed.
And I think that when people understand that that voice is a liar and you have to, you have to talk back to
it and you have to let them know that you're the boss. And that's what I always say. I'm like,
I think, like, during my workouts, they're like, what do you do to hype yourself up? I just tell
them that I'm the baddest bitch here. And that's what, it's in my head, you know, but if you say it in your
head and you say it to yourself and you're doing it in motion, it sticks. And then you're like,
I am the baddest bitch here, even if only to yourself, you know? Oh my gosh, that's so good.
And it's so true. If you state claims and you're moving your body, it is.
science back that it actually will stick with you. So I'm so happy you brought that up,
Christmas. You are so right. And you did use that saying you're the baddest bitch line when I
heard he's speaking, which I freaking love. And my spin instructor uses it every Saturday morning.
And I worship that. And it just reminds me to say it to myself. You also just remind me of something
else. I just had a doctor on who works around negative self-talk. Dr. Abbott. No, not Dr. Abbott.
you're Dr. Rabbit, Dr. Cross.
And so, and one of the things that he taught me, which you innately are doing on your own,
super important, you step out of yourself and coach yourself, which is what you just
explained to me, almost as if you're a third person, you're outside of your body.
That is scientifically proven to work.
The problem is when people stay in the eye and they stay inside, they don't jump out
to start coaching and looking at themselves from outside of their body, outside of
yourself. So you're innately doing what he's has taken years to find essentially a solution to help
people really stop that negative chatter. Step outside of yourself. Look at yourself as if you're
coaching another person and give the directive that they need to do. So amazing job. I love that. I love that.
You know, it's fun fact is that loyal my son. He's two years old. He's doing it too.
Of course he is because he learns by watching you. Of course. It's so cool. He's a rad little dude.
Now that I'm observing and I understand that this is an actual application, that's pretty cool.
It's amazing that sometimes we can stumble upon something without, you know, knowing for sure,
but then just feeling like, hey, this feels good.
You know, this is helping me get through this.
And what a great life act.
That mantra got me through all of my training for the games and like not even training for the games,
training to actually do my first competition.
I mean, that's what that was about.
Like that wasn't, it wasn't like, oh, I've made it.
Now I'm going to like have this mantra.
And it was like, that was the building block to get me there, which I didn't even know
that that's where I was going to go.
I was just like, I just love this so much and I feel good.
And I'm going to do more of what makes me feel good.
So this is interesting to me because I hear so many people preach around visualization and
knowing where you want to end up going and focusing on that.
And you weren't doing that.
At any point in time, did that switch for you?
Or has it just always been?
Okay, I want to hear about that.
For sure, switched right when I started competing
because my friend who forced me in a competition, I hated it.
He was a really big competitor, and he did like MMA.
And he said, look, every day, don't do it all.
You don't have to do it all.
But just do what you're able to do, like show up every day.
And then when you go to competition day,
you know that you've done everything in your power
to lead you and prepare you for that moment.
That moment's it.
Like do what you know how to do.
do don't get in your own head, don't change anything. And then what I started doing is visualizing
myself in these competitions, but I visualize myself in these competitions with things going wrong.
So like I visualize like if I fell down or if I dropped the weight or like I basically made
obstacles of how I would attack a problem if and when it occurred and then not only overcome it,
but also exceed it.
So for me, it was like, I can visualize something perfect.
Fantastic.
Not going to fucking happen.
I visualized real stuff that was actually going to happen.
And so I knew that whatever happened, I was going to be able to manage it in a calm,
assertive way to be able to correct and exceed.
So that's what I did.
Would that actually happen?
But then I would also visualize winning.
Would that happen?
would you have those things that you had forecasted or sometimes you would sometimes you wouldn't?
Sometimes you wouldn't.
Like somebody getting in your way or, you know, like our hands rip a lot in competition,
you know, just like ripping the skin off and going.
You know, just I know it sounds crazy.
But if you don't plan for things to that are not in your plan, then you can, like,
I didn't want to easily get derailed by something so much as like may not be able to take the clip off
the way, you know, just you, for me, I had to focus on that. So I knew that it didn't have to be
perfect to be great. Oh my gosh. It's so good. And there is no such thing as perfect. And I,
I have to tell you, I absolutely employ the same methodology. I was going on the Elvis Duran
show for the first time a few years ago. And I was so nervous. And so I started thinking,
okay, what's the worst that can happen? In my mind, the worst that could happen is I could fall down
and Getty images get a shot of me falling on the ground in his studio.
So I played that out.
Like, okay, what does that look like?
Okay, then I get back up.
I laugh about it and we move on.
So, like, exactly what you're saying.
Like, I started playing out, what are these worst case scenarios that can happen?
And I'm going to live through them.
I'm going to laugh about them.
And we're going to keep on going.
And it all works out fine.
Yes.
Yes.
It's such a good exercise to know that life is going to give you a curveball.
You know, it's kind of like you still have to figure out how to keep going.
just because you get a flat tire, you don't abandon your car, you figure it out. I'll call it
FIFO, figure it FIFO it, you know, just like get it done. And if you, if you're not like
realistic on planning for that, and I do that even with my schedule, I'm like, okay, I'm going to go.
I know that there's a hard time to find parking down there. So I'm going to allot myself extra
time to find parking. So I don't get road rage, you know. So it's just, you know, you got to kind of like
think about it. People don't think about what they're.
doing anymore. If your anxiety, depression, or ADHD are more than a rough patch, you don't
need just another meditation app. Takayatry makes it easy to see a psychiatrist online using
your insurance in days. Takayatry is 100% online psychiatry practice that provides comprehensive
evaluations, diagnoses, and ongoing medication management for conditions like ADHD, anxiety,
depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, PTSD, insomnia, and more. Unlike therapy-only apps,
Psychiatry is psychiatry.
That means you're seeing a medical provider who can diagnose mental health conditions and
prescribe medication when it's appropriate.
All their 600 plus clinicians are in network with major insurers so you can use your
existing insurance instead of paying monthly subscriptions or out of network fees.
You'll meet with an experienced licensed psychiatrist who takes the time to understand
what's going on, builds a personalized treatment plan, and can prescribe medication when
it's right for you. Your care stays consistent and evidence-based. Head to tukhyatry.com
slash confidence and complete the short assessment to get matched with an in-network psychiatrist in just a few
minutes. That's talk-giatry.com slash confidence to get matched in minutes. Very, very true. So for you,
one of the things that I noticed when I look at your career, it's not linear and it's very unexpected, right?
So Baghdad, fitness, CrossFit, reality TV.
It seems to me like, Heislaus, how do you figure that trajectory out?
Or is it just by chance?
How did you come to be where you are today?
Man, I said yes when other people said no.
It's just that willingness to try something else.
And then if it sparked a passion in me or a fire in me, then I would pursue it.
And I'm not going to say that that's the best strategy.
but it works for me.
And now I'm starting to be more,
like I'm really dialing in a lot of my business.
I'm making it more fluid
because I want to spend more time at home with my son.
Before it was like I could fly anywhere and do anything.
And I still can, but I prefer to be with him.
And so I know that there's another like fiery project
for me to do out there.
I just don't know what it is yet.
And being open to what God puts into my life is really important.
because if I would have said no to a couple, like one of those things, then my life would be completely different.
I'm not saying it would be better or worse, but I really, really enjoy what I've done so far.
And I think that like people that, I mean, it just depends on what that person's goal is and also their personality.
I like to do a lot of different things.
My ADD is full throttle.
So I know that if I sit down from a nine to five every day and do the same thing for 20 years, that doesn't resonate with my.
soul. And I like having a little adventures, as I call them with loyal. We go on little adventures.
And let's see what happens. That's so exciting, this idea of the power of yes. And what's funny is,
I'm always preaching to people just say no and you don't need to explain because so often I work
with different people in here, you know, oh, I'm going to do this even though I don't want to. I'm going to show up for
this person, even though I don't have the time. And so I'm constantly preaching to people, no, you can
just say no, and that's a complete sentence and thank them and move on. But there also is something
to the power of saying yes. And a lot of people get held back in that, I'm not qualified. I'm too
old. It's not my right time. I wasn't invited, you know, all the excuses that we can find around
why you shouldn't say yes. So how do you reframe that so you're able to step into it so easily?
It's very feeling driven, meaning that like if something kind of interests me or
piques my interest and kind of like tickles my soul, then I'm going to say yes, even if I'm not invited
or, you know, like if it gives me like this, hmm, this fear a little bit, then I say yes, because
it's a new experience. And if I try it one time and I hate it, then I know. If I try it one time
and I'm not sure, then I'll try it again. And that's how I found, like, that's how I literally fell into
NASCAR. Like I went and said yes to a thing that I thought we were going to be driving the darn
car and we went and hit lug nuts. And I'm telling you, I was mad. Like I didn't want to be there.
I was like trying to call my friend and tell him to get me out of here, you know, to be like,
call an emergency. And so I was like, okay, I'll hang out for the day. Like I said, I would.
And I'm telling you, if I had had more information, I would have definitely said no. And I showed up
and then I was like, what is this? And they were like, this is what we're going to be doing today.
And so it literally changed my career path 100%.
And I got excited and it scared me.
And so I had to do it.
I just have to like get out of my own head and get out of my own way and just know that
something really beautiful and unique might happen.
Oh, that sounds so exciting.
And it's so funny that you were mad.
You weren't getting a chance to drive.
Oh, yeah.
I was best.
I was like, we're going to be changing tires.
What?
And then like it was just the coolest day.
I can remember the day so clearly.
It was the coolest day ever.
And you ended up loving it.
Loved it.
Had a whole career.
I went into actually funny stories that when I started working on a pit crew,
I was early 30s.
And so like people in my position were retiring because of their age and like their inability
to keep up with the sports demand because it's really hard on your body.
And so there I am.
There's another reason.
One, I'm the only female that's ever done.
on it. Two, people are retiring before they're my age. And I'm coming in as a new whippersnapper,
you know, basically ancient, old woman into this new sport that I've never done before.
And it would be really easy to say, nope, I'm not qualified. Nope, nope, nope, nope. And I was like,
screw it. Let's have some fun. Like, I love having fun. And that's why I love my workouts.
That's why I love, like, trying new things. It's not always going to be a party, but you should
enjoy it as much as possible. That's so true and no better time to be talking about this during a
global pandemic because I know for me, I have plenty of days. I just think I just need to survive this
time. I just need to live through this time. And I'm forgetting about what you're saying.
No, it's not about just surviving. It's about thriving and enjoying your time. And it is easy to
forget about that given really easy. The situation that all of us are in was both of us having our
Our kids at home were typically they would be at school and life would be very different.
You know, I used to say put on your lip gloss and go have a fun day.
But now it's like put on the wing liner because you have the mask.
And like I said, you know, me like loyal is home this week.
He was having last week very unexpected through a few wrenches in my schedule.
But it's fine.
Like we're going to have an adventure later today.
He's going to try something new.
I'm going to live through his experience.
I'm probably going to try something new.
We're going to have a blast.
And it's just like, what's the point if you're not enjoying it, period.
That is so, so good.
Thank you for that reminder because it definitely, I needed that one today.
So one of the things that I noticed on your social media, which I am over here
applauding you and cheering you on, you are so confident the way that you show up on social
and truly fearless, right?
How is it that you're able to do that?
And I mean, one of the most recent photos shoots you have is freaking amazing off the charts.
Unbelievable.
It's so proud of you.
But I know just being another female that's on social media that you must get haters.
How do you handle the haters when they come?
I feel like there's a few different types of haters.
There's haters that are just going to, they just talk down.
Like, they're just mean.
And usually, actually, it's really sad because a lot of them are young kids.
Like 12, 13, 14, you know, like early teens, eight.
I've gotten, yeah, it's just wild.
I have a lot of opinions on social media accountability.
But for me, like, especially if somebody, like, I've had really hateful messages sent to me.
It depends on the tone.
Sometimes I'll choose to educate them, meaning, like, one person got upset because I was implied nude.
And they were like, you're a mother.
I'm like, first of all, I gave birth naked.
That's what our bodies fucking do, you know?
Newsflash.
We were born naked.
We're going to leave this world naked.
There's a lot of naked days in between.
And like, what does that have to do with anything?
Like, it was very tasteful.
Like, even if it wasn't, it's still my right.
It's my right, whether I'm a mother or not.
And so I went on a little tangent in the sense of like,
I don't push back in a negative way.
I like to educate so people can take the information and go on or change their opinion.
So normally I will kind of softly.
And in a, but also very concisely just like let them know like, hey, look, this is one, my Instagram.
You're coming into my, my home.
Yeah, I'm a public figure, but you came to, you clicked that follow me button.
You clicked the comment.
You clicked and decided what you were going to put out there through your voice on social media.
That's on you.
You don't have to participate in my world if you don't want to.
And that's usually like the message that I.
I claim is like, I'm not asking you to follow me. I don't need you to. So whether I have a million
followers or one follower, I'm going to still be myself. And that's where my confidence comes is because
I'm not trying to be anything other than me. I think that's where like people deteriorate is when
they're like trying to post for the masses and get likes by everybody. And I'm like, nah, I like myself
more than just likes for, you know?
So good and so true.
The most powerful you'll ever be is when you just show up as that real you.
And those are the moments.
It really doesn't matter what comes after.
Like you said, it doesn't matter about the legs.
It's about the fact that you took that step into being you.
And it comes through loud and clear Christmas.
So I know you do so much work to help others, to help others with their diet,
to help others with their workout.
Can you share with us about your new app?
Oh, yeah.
I love it so much.
It's called Christmas Fitness.
So it's Christmas Fitness.com.
And it's kind of like me on Netflix.
You get an absurd amount of videos of me.
We do full, like I do full length workouts.
And there's different levels of, you know, there's beginner, intermediate advance.
And I show you every workout, every workout, I show you the movement.
I show you how to modify for more intensity or less intensity.
And then I do the whole workout with you.
There are timed workouts.
So if you've got five repetitions or 20, that's your time.
And I literally coach you through the workout the entire time.
We do mindset.
We do some meditation.
I do full on cooking shows.
And then I also do nutrition education.
It's called Can Express.
And I just, I've been in this industry for so long now.
It's like 15 plus years, which is kind of bizarre.
You know, you just learn a lot.
So I'm just trying to unpack all the things that
are in my head and my repertoire to be able to give to everybody else on a video format.
And so I do programs every month.
And if you want to do one of the old programs, you can, you have a private Facebook
group.
It's just a lot of fun.
Like my rebels, I call them my rebels.
They're like on fire in the Facebook group.
I get in there and like, they're like Christmas, we don't even need you.
They motivate each other.
They have like little Zoom workout classes too.
I mean, it's a whole, like, literal community in their own right.
And there's some bad bitches and dudes in there.
So guys and girls are rocking and rolling.
We just have so much fun.
And it's really affordable.
I have some higher price point things, but this is like $37 a month.
It's subscription.
So you don't like, if you don't want to be in it next month,
then you don't have to be in it next month.
Like, that's not what I'm about.
I'm just about giving people my information because I wish,
that I had more when I was starting off.
It was a lot to learn.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, 15 years of it.
And there's a problem is there's a lot of bad information out there,
which people like me or when you were starting out,
you just don't know.
And it's great to have someone who's actually lived it.
You've gone through it.
You know, you started it in your early 20s.
You've approached it from a really methodical, smart place.
And now you're able to put the best of all the information together.
And I love the community that you've created.
and of course they're rebels.
Who else would they be?
Yeah.
They're super fun.
Like I literally,
if I'm having any sort of like bump in the day or down or like just kind of like not feeling it,
I literally go to the Facebook and I just read some of their comments and they're,
they're in it.
They're so much fun.
Like that alone is priceless for me.
Everyone's going to want to find you Christmas.
So where can everybody find you and where can they get the app?
The app is Christmas Fitness.com.
You can have a download on your phone and your TV.
I'm kind of everywhere for you.
And then following me on Instagram on Christmas Abbott.
And then I have my Facebook fan page, Christmas Abbott.
Thank you so much for being here.
And can't wait to hear about your adventure later on today.
I hope you guys have an amazing time.
Thank you so much.
I appreciate you right back.
All right, hold tight.
We're going to be right back.
I hope you loved meeting Christmas as much as I,
I loved interviewing her. She is such a positive force and just a real light in the world. Okay. So let's
dive into a couple of questions I received, one on Instagram and one on LinkedIn. If you have any
questions for me, shoot me a DM on any social media platform and I answer them here for you live.
Okay. Hey, Heather. Wanted to reach out for your advice. I was recently fired unfairly, of course,
wrong leaders, previous boss left, blah, blah, blah. This was in November 2020. If I'm interviewing now,
best to say I am still with the company. I feel as though saying I am no longer there and especially
telling a recruiter or a hiring manager that I was let go, no matter the reasoning, will cause me not to be
hired again. What are your thoughts? So no, always be honest. Listen, the best advice I can give you
in regards to interviewing is be transparent. I would rather not get a job being me and telling the
truth because here's the thing. If a company doesn't want you because you were fired from another one,
Those aren't your people, right?
Why are they judging?
What, they've never been fired?
They've never been in a bad situation.
Reframe getting fired.
I talk about getting fired everywhere, right?
I put getting fired to work for me.
If I decided tomorrow that I wanted to go work for a company, I'd walk in and say, yeah, I got
fired.
I was working for someone who didn't value and appreciate me.
I had outgrown the company I was working for.
I need to work with confident people.
If the team that you're interviewing this position for is not confident, I'm not going
be the right person, right? Show up and shine your light, own your story. You do not want to lie.
Misleading people is never the right answer. People want transparency, authenticity, honesty,
trust, and lead with that. Say, listen, I could have very easily, you know, sidestep this.
However, I want to call it out. I want to save you the time, me the time, everybody. Here's the thing.
I was fired from my last position and it really stung. There was a lot of politics behind the scenes,
whatever. The bottom line is this, I did a great job there. I'd like to talk about the value that I
brought and talk about how I can bring value to this opportunity today. But I don't want to mince words
and I don't want you to think I would ever mislead you. The character of who I am is I'm an honest
person who will always do 100% what you ask, you know, give 100% and I will also always be
honest with you. Put that to work for you, right? So I would reframe it. That's 100% what I would do.
Okay, hey, Heather, I'm watching on the Molson course kickoff right now. This is so crazy. This is what's so cool about, it's so cool about social media that you can get people DMing you while you're live talking. This woman goes on to say that, you know, I talked about firing your villains during my keynote. And she went on to say, what if I have a villain as a co-worker and I can't fire that person? This is interesting. And I hear this a lot from people, you know, here's the thing. You can create boundaries.
Number one, that's really important and that's something that I had to learn how to do myself.
You can create boundaries and or you can raise your hand and ask to be moved to a different team.
You should probably do both, right?
So creating boundaries means having a very clear conversation with that person,
letting them know what you will no longer tolerate.
And then making sure that you hold those boundaries.
You don't, you know, just because somebody used to treat you one way doesn't mean you have to fall back to that.
You can completely start over and change anew today.
But you need to hold the boundaries and hold.
them accountable to it. Now, let's say the person, let's say you go and have a conversation and you say,
listen, you're speaking over me in meetings. I really don't appreciate that. I treat you with respect
and allow you to finish your sentences. I would like that same respect. Can you offer that back to me?
And if the person says, yeah, no problem. Okay, great. Thank you. I'm, you know, maybe you just weren't
aware you're doing. Yeah, no problem. Okay, great. Oh, maybe it was a miscommunication.
Fast forward. The person does it to you again in the next meeting. That's when you say, excuse me, John.
We had a discussion about this.
Could you please let me finish my thought?
I'd really appreciate it.
Right?
You call out the poor behavior in a very calm, no emotional, no emotion in business, stay calm,
don't give someone else your power.
And you call it out.
Now, if that does not get better and the person is clearly, you know, trying to screw with you,
then you raise your hand and you go to your supervisor and say, listen, I tried to handle this
on my own.
Unfortunately, this person is still not respecting me in the same way that everybody else
and the team respects one another. I don't think it's in my best interest to work side by side with
this person. Is there any way I can be moved to a different team? Right. And maybe what will happen
as a supervisor will say, no, I'm going to go talk to John and deal with John. That's unacceptable
behavior. And a lot of this goes back to communication. So many people just aren't aware what's going on.
Everyone's caught up in their own worlds, moving fast, not paying attention. So raise your hand,
ask for help, raise your hand and call out the bad behavior. People will treat you the way.
way you teach them to. So let's start teaching them better. Okay, I have some exciting stuff to tell you
guys. I have new merch that's going to come out. I'm waiting for it to arrive at my house right now. I can't
freaking wait. You're going to flip out. And the reason why I created it is I have so many messages from
people asking for it. So I just thought to myself, you know what? If people want it, I'm going to
bring it. Let's let's go all in. Let's 2021. It's the year. Let's blow it up. I can't wait to hear what you
think as always I, you know, well, you know, I'm working on my second book. That's going to be out
November. I'm under deadline right now, by the way. It's so intense doing a book with a publisher.
So much more work than doing a book on your own when you self-publish. Just FYI. I'm just putting it
out there. Wow, this is our third round of edits and deadlines and they don't give you a lot of time.
Super stressful. But anyways, I'm super excited for the new book to come out. And I still have my group
coaching. I've got my one-on-one coaching where I solve your sales problems. DM me, reach out to me,
Heather Monaghan.com. Would love to hear from you. Okay, until next week, keep creating confidence.
And as always, please subscribe, rate and review, and share this on social. I will always repost.
And I'll catch you next week.
