Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - Confidence Classic: Choose Faith Over Fear & Success Will Follow with Heather!

Episode Date: September 16, 2025

Getting fired doesn’t mean you failed. It means you’re in powerful company and standing at a new beginning. In this episode, I share how getting fired pushed me out of a life I’d outgrown and into my purpose. I break down how to turn uncertainty into possibility, why responding, not reacting, gives you instant power in any room, and a sample script for confronting workplace bullying. Get ready to choose FAITH over fear so the right doors start opening. In This Episode You Will Learn Why GETTING FIRED puts you in GOOD COMPANY. How to spot your “MAGIC moments” and turn them into a purpose. A sample SCRIPT to ADDRESS workplace bullying with confidence. How to SPOT and ASK for signs that confirm your direction. Framework to PROTECT your mindset during setbacks. PRACTICES to lead with gratitude, and move with faith over fear. Resources + Links Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/monahan Download the CFO’s Guide to AI and Machine Learning at NetSuite.com/MONAHAN. Want to do more and spend less like Uber, 8x8, and Databricks Mosaic? Take a free test drive of OCI at oracle.com/MONAHAN. Get 10% off your first Mitopure order at timeline.com/CONFIDENCE. Get 15% off your first order when you use code CONFIDENCE15 at checkout at jennikayne.com. Call my digital clone at 201-897-2553!  Visit heathermonahan.com Sign up for my mailing list: heathermonahan.com/mailing-list/  Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Follow Heather on Instagram & LinkedIn

Getting fired means you are in good company. Mark Cuban was fired. Oprah Winfrey fired. J.K. Rowling fired. Steve Jobs fired. Heather Monaghan fired. You are rolling with the top, the best of the best. Choose to see this as your jump-off point.

Did you really love? Was it your purpose and life to be there? Probably not. Peel back that onion and say, wait a minute, I didn't even really like work here. Why am I sitting here crying? Wait a minute. I'm just afraid of the uncertainty.

But here's the thing about uncertainty, guys. When everything is uncertain, anything is possible. Come on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We'll overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Tell me, have you been enjoying these new bonus confidence classics episodes we've been dropping on you every week? We've literally hundreds of episodes for you to listen to.

So these bonuses are a great way to help you find the ones you may have already missed. I hope you love this one as much as I do. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. I hope you are doing well. All right, I want to talk a little bit today about the importance of finding your purpose. And I know that sounds, gosh, that sounds so big, right? It sounds like such a big deal.

And depending on where you are in your life, in your journey, it might sound overwhelming or crazy or maybe you've already found it and you're thinking oh yeah it's so important to find your purpose okay i'm going to give you a little background into how i found or how i'm finding mine i guess is a better way to say it because it's always evolving in some ways so for me i remember i was back in corporate america d d d dd back in the day and i was not very fulfilled i don't know if you're very fulfilled at work. If you're not, just keep looking and open your eyes and pick your head up and start wondering, start asking yourself questions, right? I did that. You know, I wasn't very fulfilled. I picked my head up. I talked to people that I trusted and say, like, what am I missing?

And I remember that led me to charity work, right? I wanted to do more giving back. I wanted to do more good. I just felt like for a long time, my job was to make wealthy people wealthier, right? my job was to drive shareholder price and drive the stock up. So I did that. I did really well at it. I made a lot of rich people richer and it didn't feel so great, right? It just kind of felt empty. And so I would work so hard during the week, work hard to get time to spend with my son,

do the things that I wanted to do. There was never enough time. Anyways, bottom line is I started doing charity work because I thought maybe if I can give back and impact more people in a positive way, I'll feel better. Check, check and check. it worked, but then there's less time, right? So it was a crazy time for me before I got fired because I was searching and I wasn't sure what I was searching for. I didn't even know what it looked like. And then I'll never forget, this is probably a year before I got fired. I was taking this

huge stage out in Houston, Texas for National Association of Broadcasters event. And I was one of the MCs and, you know, I spoke at events all the time. I did not know back then that people got paid for speaking. I didn't know it was a business. I didn't know it was ever anything I could actually do. I just looked at my life as so linear in that I was on this path in corporate America. I was a cheap revenue officer. The next move is CEO. Would I state the same company? Would I pitch myself to another company? Would I get investors and start my own company? I just, that was the only way I thought. Gosh, thinking in a linear way is totally self-destructive. By the way, do not think linear. Pick your head up, look around, talk to people outside your industry, ask yourself

questions. Okay, so I took the stage that night, and it was just flipping magic. It was crazy. It was such an incredible, well, for the most part, then there was a really awful thing that happened after. I should tell you about that. That was terrible. I write about it. Actually, it's a chapter in my first book conference creator. Oh my gosh, it was not nice what happened after. But during the event was incredible and I remember everyone was going crazy and I got off the stage and so many people rushed me and they were like, oh my gosh, you need your own show. You should be speaking all the time. Blah, blah, blah, whatever. And that night I remember saying I feel like magic getting off that stage. It's incredible. Like this is what I'm born to do. And then I laughed because I thought

too bad that you can't get paid to do this. Too bad this isn't a job. I need to go back to real life Monday morning and go back to my regular job. So here's my clue number one. If you ever get that feeling doing something and you're like, oh my gosh, this is magic. This is incredible. Stop. Stop everything you're doing. That is a sign from God, from the universe, however you choose to see it, that this is the path that you're destined for. I think so often we tune that out because we don't see the way. We don't see how it would happen. We don't see how it's possible. it's so outside of what we do see as possible that we shut down the possibility. I definitely did that, right?

I didn't see, okay, I feel like magic when I'm doing this thing, speaking on a stage. I feel like this is part of why I'm here, but I don't know how to make it work. Okay, forget about it. That's what I did. Right, I just forgot about it. But I couldn't forget about it. I remember flying home, it's all I could think about. It was consuming me.

Like, how could I, I want to feel like magic every day. I want to do good every day. I remember I came home, went back to work, went back to regular linear life, right? Which I thought was the only path for me. P.S. whatever thought you have like that to rash it. It is not real. There are limitless paths available for you, right? So get rid of that crazy idea that I had.

It's not true. So I came home and back to work and I couldn't shake the idea of the magic. It wouldn't go away. Literally for a year, I think it just kept resurfacing, reservicing. And that was the time that I started getting. involved in charity work and then ironically enough right the more you go to do good and give back and give to others goodness will come to you it's just fact it happens suddenly in the charity world they started asking hey Heather could you ever emce this could you speak at this could you

keynote this could you host this and I started thinking huh that's funny you know because I've been speaking for 20 something years in corporate America it was not I didn't think it was a business I didn't think it was a thing I just thought it was part of my job but I love doing it it was this magic in my life. So suddenly all these opportunities started coming to me. I wasn't going and looking for them, which is so crazy. But that all goes back to asking yourself the question around, wow, this magic thing, how could I get more of this in my life?

What does this look like? What does this mean? Just keep asking yourself the questions around it. Like, keep thinking about it. If you sit in the question long enough, the answer will find you. So I sat in the question for a long time. I was speaking more and more, loving it more and more, yet becoming more. more and more unhappy at work during the day, still not having a clue what was about to

transpire of my life. I had no idea. Although now that I look back, I think I manifested at all because I loathed working with this woman that I worked with that hated me. Anyhow, so I would complain about it all the time, say I couldn't take it anymore, and I guess ideally I was manifesting my way out of there. So what ends up happening, if you already know the story, I get fired unexpectedly, having no clue what I'm going to do, I post online, I've just been fired. If I've ever helped you in any way, I need to hear from you now. As you know, that post went viral, got millions of views and landed me on the Elvis Durant show. Halfway through that show, Elvis looked at me and said, well, Heather, obviously you're writing a book,

but I wasn't writing a book, right? I was not a literary major. I was never anointed someone who should be an author. I didn't even understand if you could do, could you annoy yourself an author? Like, could you just decide to do that? Do you need to take a course? Like, what does that look like? So I remember he spoke such a truth, passion, and a conviction into me, which I always

want you to remember this. Your words matter. Your words are a wand that can literally imprint magic on someone else. And he did that to me in that moment, right? So don't hold back your beautiful words when you have a truth to speak into someone. You might change the trajectory of their life like Elvis Durand did. me that day. So I jumped on the plane. I googled, how do you write a book? And it said, basically, you have to be disciplined and right. And I had just been fired. So I thought, okay, no problem.

I've got some free time. Let's make the best of it. We'll write a book. You know, but I had to grapple with this story that I had hung on to for a long time in my life, which was that I was the, quote, unquote, social one. And my sister was the quote, unquote, smart one. She had a perfect score in her SATs. Obama was one of her professors at U.S. Chicago. She has a doctorate, right? She's the smart one on paper. I'm the go make it happen person in real life until I had to decide that I was willing to drop those labels, drop that story and say, okay, I might not be deemed the smart one,

but who says I can't be an author, right? Who says I can't blow up all the lanes out there and just live my life lanelessly being me and going where I want and trying different things? I had never thought that was a possibility for me before. And so I wrote that book, Confidence Creator, you already know, the first week it came out. It went to number one on Amazon trumped Donald Trump's The Art of the Deal for number one on the business biography list and crushed it, right? Book is fire to this day.

I love that book. Yes, it has three mistakes in it. And yes, I'm so proud. Dunn will always be better than perfect. So I had to Google, okay, how do you sell books? Because I had no idea, right? I've been in sales my whole life, but I didn't know how to sell books. there's always, you know, a strategy or some different ways that people would advise.

You want to learn from those that have done it before you. So I did some research. And I saw that speaking was one of the ways that you could sell books. And I thought, oh my gosh, great. I'm a great speaker. I love speaking. I'll start cold calling companies and speaking for them if they buy my books. And that's what I did until one day I called a company and they said, what's your speaker

fee? And I googled speaker fees. And I saw Gary Vaynerchuk was making 300K. for a 60-minute keynote, I pumped the breaks and I said, I am moving into the speaking business stat. And I did. And my speaking business blew up. I gave my TEDx talk.

I got promoted to TED. I interviewed Sarah Blakely live on stage in front of thousands of people. I was getting booked left and right. Boom, pandemic, you know the rest. Okay. So I'm sharing all this with you to show you like what a messy journey it was to get where I am today. I'm actually, I'm flying to Dallas this week to give a keynote for a company.

and it's so funny when I stop and think how different my life is now not even it hasn't even been five years yet since all this stuff happened and it's been so incredibly messy so many turns and challenges to really find out what I'm meant to be doing I will say today I have 100% clarity on my purpose in life and what I'm meant to be doing and a lot of that just so you know comes from you I hear from you you send me DMs you leave reviews on on my podcast, on this show right here. You leave reviews on my books. You give me feedback after my speeches.

You know, and I get this affirmation that I'm exactly where I'm meant to be. I truly believe my purpose in life, my divine timing, is that I'm here to make the world a better place. I'm here to help people heal through their challenges and open their eyes to their possibility to the greatness within you. But I truly believe that's my life's work. Now, oh my gosh, if five years ago someone had told me that when I was still in corporate America, I would have fallen on the ground laughing because it sounds so beautiful, but it was so far from my reality, right? So just wherever you are today, I hope this message finds you, if you're unhappy, if you're not fulfilled, that's okay. I've been there too, right? And I'm not saying it's just some magic, easy way that you're going to fall into it.

But maybe for you, it will be, right? We don't know that. I have no idea. That's, you know, turn that over to the high. power and let that way be shown that isn't really the way I went about it at first. I definitely stumbled, made tons and tons of mistakes, but I kept listening to my intuition. I kept opening my ideas of the possibility and allowing for things to rise up and show that reveal themselves to me, right? And looking at things in a very different way. So wherever you are in your journey to find your purpose, to find your divine timing in life, just start asking yourself the questions. When you sit in that question long enough,

that answer will find you. Don't get frustrated. It's annoying. By the way, I'm not a patient person at all, so I totally get it. It can be super frustrating and annoying. But I'm grateful that I didn't give up on it, right? There were plenty of times over the last four years

that I thought maybe I should just go back to corporate America, especially during the pandemic, right? Like I was thinking, oh my gosh, this is, who am I kidding? What am I doing? but I'm so grateful sitting here today that I didn't right so everyone wants to give up sometimes but as long as you're true with yourself as long as you're being honest with yourself and that intention that you have is good I believe those right doors are going to open for you you just have to keep believing you have to have that faith faith over fear and the funny

thing is like anything you can sit here like let's use the example I just shared with you you know on day one of getting fired I could have sat there and for four years sat every day just being scared and saying this isn't going to work or I could have stepped forward with faith and tried different things and put the post up and got floated New York and did the Elvis show and wrote the book right none of that stuff wasn't scary to me but here's what I've learned is that it's your choice it's up to you if you choose to move forward with the faith or you choose to hold yourself back with the fear and the more you hold yourself back the more you limit yourself right and I always talk about fear is a green light that means go but I also want you to

know it's sort of nonsensical right like when we fill our heads with all this doubt here's what i mean by that had i just sat and doubt and done nothing that would have been a self-fulfilling prophecy right nothing would have happened but if i had had the faith and step forward with the possibility and positivity of what could come that's when the doors start opening for you so could it be just as likely that one thing could work out or not yeah right like we can't see in the future we're not clairvoyant and if you are please call me tell me about my future can't wait to hear because it's going to be big i'm so excited but when you think about that you think about okay i'm sitting here fearful i'm sitting here doubtful and i'm projecting that onto my future doesn't sound like a good recipe for success or i'm going to sit here with faith i'm going to sit here and think

about other times in my life where things have gone well and worked out and i'm going to move forward that same energy and attitude into the possibility of what could be right like that other option is so much better and really why isn't it just as likely as things could go great as they could go terrible why isn't it just as likely as you could manifest a miracle it is you just have to start believing you have to open your mind to that possibility so i hope that you can do that today i was at church with my son and the message was so incredibly powerful i'm big into believe leaving in signs. I don't know if you are, but I ask God for signs all of the time. I always want to know, am I on the right path, right? And again, I go back to you when I get your feedback,

when I get your reviews, when I get the notes from you, that steers me on the path. So thank you for that. And please keep them coming. I love your reviews. I love your feedback. It means the world to me. And it tells me to stay on the path that I'm on. So I keep looking for these signs everywhere. And I was given a huge sign at church day. It was so crazy. This is surreal. But I started thinking this week about a new book that I want to write, and it's totally out of character for me, but I wrote down the title, like anything, you have to start somewhere, right? Like, people think that you have this whole big plan and strategy. I don't have that.

Like a little seed of a thought will come to me, and then I'd plant it in the ground, pour water on it, pay attention to it, and see what happens, right? So I was kind of doing that this week, writing some things down on paper, and I wrote down the title of this book, oh my gosh, this is so crazy. All I'm going to tell you is when I got, to church today they had these cards they were passing out it's like um this new online journaling thing that they have for people who attend this church and the cover art on the paper is the same name that i had written down for this book that i that came to me this week if that isn't a flipping

sign it's crazy and it's completely out of character for me and i walk into church and it's on a piece of paper so to me you know look for those signs be open to receiving those signs out there and if you think I'm being woo-woo, that's fine, but at least open your mind to it could be possible and start asking the question, right? Wouldn't you want that gift to be handed to you? Wouldn't you want that way to be shown? I'm so, when I look back and reflect on my life when I was younger and I was living in this really linear, closed way, I didn't look for signs. I didn't ask for signs. I didn't ask for what I wanted, right? I didn't even know that was a thing. And I've spent the last few months, but this has been the most incredible year for me because I've really spent the

last few months asking for what I want. I've been asking God, you know, for what I want, praying to God. Maybe you're saying, Heather, don't talk about God. This is not a religious show. Then for you, you could say, I'm going to ask the universe. I'm going to ask the higher good. I'm going to ask a higher power. Right. There's something obviously much greater than all of us out there. Whatever you want to label it, that's up to you. I'm not here to judge you condemn anyone, right? I don't want to be judged. I don't want to be condemned. I just think that we all need to treat each other better and nicer and find commonalities instead of arguments. So to that point, start asking for what you want. Start putting it out to the universe. Be really mindful of your

words and realize you're speaking things into existence. You truly are. I know I am. I wish you could see this card and then see it sitting next to the paper with what I wrote on it just days ago. It's incredible and I'm so excited and it just shows me that God's working in my life. Something greater is working in my life and I'm on the right path. So I'm so grateful. Always get back to gratitude, right? That's such a great way to center yourself, such a great way. And especially in this crazy time that we're living in, so many people fighting online right now and so much upset in the world, any way that we can lead with gratitude, lead with joy, lead with kindness, even in those difficult moments, or more importantly, definitely in those challenging moments, the more good we do in the

world, the more good is going to come back to us. So that's what I'm wishing for you is I'm wishing good and joy for you. And that's what life's all about, right? Finding joy and every day and finding your purpose and your passion, I believe, is a big part of that because you're not going to really be fulfilled or allow your greatness to shine through if you haven't found that calling. So if you haven't found it, start seeking for it. If you found it, I'm so happy for you. Spend more time there, seek those possibilities and find ways to do more good because it is so incredibly powerful. If you're like me, trying to find the right candidate is not very easy these days.

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Use my code, confidence at checkout to receive 20% off today. Go to timeline.com slash confidence. That's T-I-M-E-L-I-N-E dot com slash confidence. I asked you to try to find your passion. I got a few DMs that I need to dig into with you because they really caught my attention. And I promised I would give them a response. One came from a woman, of course, no names here, but it says, Heather, as you know, I'm a huge fan, but I need your help. I have listened to your books and your podcast.

In fact, every day on my drive to work, I listen to an episode of your podcast, y'all, as I find them motivating and inspiring. Thank you. In fact, because of you, I've learned that I have worth far beyond what a company is willing to pay me. And yes, you do, by the way. And so do you, right? We all have worth beyond just what we're being paid at work. A paycheck is just, you know, money is an exchange of value in any moment. And valuations change, right?

Our excellence, our expertise changes and grows and evolves. You know, there's so many factors that, no, we are much more than just. a paycheck at any given time people and you are too okay i've also faced my fears and i've made some big moves going to a new employer and making some leaps of faith in my life good for you growth i love it i love it living in that uncertainty is all about stepping into fear growing taking risks yes yes and yes okay however at this new company someone who's supposed to be my equal and supposed to be showing me the ropes has been condescending and bullying to me so this sadly is life right there are villains in our lives we are going to encounter

villains and we have to decide how we are going to handle it and not allow it to go on so she goes on to say that you know she's almost at our wit's end at this point why is she even putting up with this maybe she should just quit she said i thought about it and i realized i need to face my villain yes yes in fact i think she is probably intimidated by me bingo When you are a threat, you will always be the target. Okay, that's something that I learned. So 99% of the time, if someone's bullying you, it's because they're jealous of you or they are threatened by you.

Facts, straight up facts. It doesn't make it okay, but it is a very true. Okay, nevertheless, could you help me figure out how to say what I need to say, which is, I don't like the way you are speaking to me. I want to sound assertive, but I don't want to be too aggressive. Super smart. You are right. Okay. So I want to address this in the best way possible. Yes, it's important to be assertive and not aggressive, and I want everyone to know this. You don't have to yell at someone to make a point. You don't have to beat your fists on the table to be heard. In fact, the most powerful people are typically the ones that sit in silence, own their thoughts, and then respond when they're ready. Right. The people that lose in all these situations are the ones that react, right?

So my whole message on this podcast today and in this specific situation is, don't react, respond. Now, this is something that's taking me 47 years to learn, right? And I'm still a work in progress like we all are, but I'm getting a lot better. My amazing moment that I'm so proud of, I have to share it with you because I'm super proud of it. I was almost going to say I can't believe I did it, but no, I totally believe I did it. It's so, oh my gosh, it's so good. Okay, so here's what happened. And you know that back at the end of 2017, I was fired unexpectedly when the CEO I had worked for 14 years became ill and he elevated his daughter to replace him.

My villain, my number one villain, and she fired me. So anyways, here's how it went down. She had her assistant send me an email. That was yet again another power play that she would try to implement to make me nervous or frightened or feel fearful of her, like these tactics to be a toxic boss or whatever. oh my gosh it's so far in my rearview mirror now that it's just comical but at the time it wasn't right like when you're in it it's horrible i remember i was losing my hair i was crying when i would get home from work i was so stressed out all the time my jaw was cracked it was bad really bad so for anyone who's in a situation like this number one there is life outside of it and it's

going to be a lot better when you're away from these negative situations these negative people and negative environments but i do want you to know i'm empathetic i get it, I struggled for so long with that woman, and it really took a toll on me physically, mentally. But when you get that space, when you fire that villain, when you put yourself first and do what's right for you, that's when you set yourself up to take off and take on the world and find your purpose and find your right people, right? It's incredible. And now that I'm on the other side of it, I'm not saying it's easy, right?

I wasn't handed a special little box that I opened the day after I got fired and all my answers were inside? Uh, hardly. No, that really was not the case. But, you know, I did learn so much about myself along the way. I made so many mistakes, right? And then the pandemic really wiped me out. And there's been a lot of challenges. We'll leave it at that the last couple of years. But in the end, sitting here today with you, I'm just, I'm so clear that it wasn't easy, but it was so worth it. Right. And that's what I want everyone to know, putting yourself first, not allowing someone to bullying you, leaving a negative situation, and trying to fix it, attempting to fix it and address it first before you leave, because it is the right thing to do

because you do need to stand up for yourself and you need to let someone know when they're not treating you the way that you want to be treated. A few reasons for that is that they might not know that they're treating you in a poor way. Maybe they're going through a horrible time in their life. Maybe they have health issues. Maybe they just lost a family member. We don't know what's going on with someone and maybe they're lashing out at everyone and they just need someone to tell them, hey, I don't appreciate the way that you're speaking to me. It doesn't feel good when you and I sit down and talk. I feel like you're upset or angry with me. Is there something that you want to tell me because this doesn't seem to be working the way that it had in the past or, you know, the same

way that I typically work with other people. I really want to give you a chance to let me know what's going on. If I did something wrong, please inform me. Otherwise, I want to talk about how we can move forward in a better fashion. I digress. So I had tried those things with my villain before she fired me. You know, I tried a couple different sit downs saying, hey, is there something that you want to talk to me about? I just feel like you're not happy with me. You know, I went from this place of curiosity.

You know, I'm a big fan of it. I'm sure you've heard me say this before. Hang on, I'm confused. Anytime I'm in a difficult conversation and a business environment, I always go to that one. I'm confused because it's not attacking. It's not aggressive. It's not argumentative.

But it's going to get that other person. to empty their glass, which is always my goal. I want to know what is the other person thinking? What are their challenges? What's their objective here? And is there a way for us to work together on this and find a solution, right? From a calm standpoint, I had tried all these things with this woman, my villain. And it was a game to her. It was so obviously a game. My opinion is she was very, very threatened by me, which I don't blame her. I definitely should have been CEO, not her, but that's okay. Now I'm CEO of my own company. All right, moving on. We're going to take that rejection actually as a redirection to something better, which it was.

Okay. So I believe she was threatened by me. She would never respond in a positive way to my conversations when I tried to empathize with her, when I tried to come from a place of curiosity and find out what the problem was. She would always say, I don't know what you're talking about. Right. So when someone asks like that, there's really, there's nowhere to go from there. You have to have two parties willing to find some common ground, some form of compromise

when you're in a bullying, toxic kind of a situation, right? So she was not interested in that. And that's how I ended up in her office on that final day with her, you know, about to tell me she was going to fire me. When you walk into any meeting, any presentation, any discussion, there are dynamics that go on. There are power dynamics, right? Who sits at what seat at the table?

Who's standing versus who's sitting? Who's smiling versus who has a face with no emotion? With someone's enraged, they're red in the face, right? there's just so many dynamics you can look at when you're walking into a situation in business and life where you want to be aware, nothing huge, but just, just notice. So one thing I noticed, you know, she had had her assistant call me over for a meeting, did not disclose what it was for. I did not think I was getting fired.

A mic drop, I was. But, you know, I walked in, very uncertain about what I was walking into. She was standing up, which she never did. She always sat down, right? typically if I would walk into a meeting to see her, she would have her glasses on, her calculator out, her notes out, and she'd be working on something when I would walk in. Well, on this day, when I walked in, she was standing, huge smile, which was not her typical disposition, right? She was more of an introvert, not someone that would be standing up with our hands on our hips smiling, right? That'd be something more like I would do, typically, like I'd be running around, you know, super high energy, standing, not because I'm trying to make a power play on someone, but because I just do.

crazy things like that. I prefer to be standing up. You know, that's more my norm and always smiling. So when I walked in and saw that, I noticed, pay attention, right? Be aware when you walk into these situations just to notice. And I thought to myself, hmm, this is weird. Why would she be standing all smiles and hands on our hips? And that's when I knew something was about to go down. And she really was owning all the power in the room, right? Because I kind of sat quietly into chair. I was a little concerned at this point. You know, I wasn't smiling. I knew something bad was about to happen because she looked so happy looking at me. She never looked happy when she looked at me, right? This lady hated me. It was clear. So I knew something not great for me was about to

happen or I thought so, right? I was just really paying attention to her power dynamics she was trying to, you know, bring to this meeting. And she was, right? So she's the one speaking. She's taking of all the air in the room and she's, and I'm saying nothing. I'm just sitting there. I've been called there. and she says, well, as you know, I've been named CEO, and so, therefore, I no longer need a chief revenue officer, and therefore I don't need you. That was basically it. The whole conversation was like a minute or two minutes. You know, I'm maybe a paraphrase a word or two, but that's pretty much the gist of it, right?

It was not, there was not a lot of small talk that day, not there ever was with her. Okay. So, you know, and this is after a couple years of this woman bullying me, I'm kind of noticing, I'm noticing her. I'm noticing how happy she is. And I'm thinking to myself, this lady has bullied me for far too long. This is just, this has gone on far too long. The fact that she's smiling in my face right now and getting joy out of this, no, this isn't sitting right with me. And thankfully, I had been working on my confidence. I had been really intentionally trying to show up as the most powerful, real version of myself and really get my confidence back the way I'd had it years prior. And I'd been

working on that for a little over a month before this this random meeting popped out of nowhere popped out of nowhere she was named the official CEO and had me brought in immediately not nowhere okay so in that minute or two minutes I'm noticing all these power dynamics she's playing I'm really a little confused but then it's like one of those seconds where all of a sudden the damn breaks right like there's just that one that last pin that drops that puts everything over the edge right the whole thing comes down, I just snapped in some way. I just remember thinking, no more, like, no more, lady, are, am I going to sit silently and let you treat me crappy and smile in my face as you're about to fire me after I gave

14 years of my life to this company, and I did an incredible job, incredible, right? The results speak for themselves. I had just won most influential women in radio, like, I was, I was it. I was killing it at work. And she was just so happy to be firing me that that was the moment. That was my final straw. And I knew, because I've worked with myself a lot on this, don't react, respond. And here's why when you react, you're allowing someone to puppeteer you.

You're allowing someone else to control you. I don't like that idea. I don't know about you. I hope you don't like that idea. When you give yourself a moment to take a breath and think and then respond in a very calm manner, you take all the power out of the room. You control the table, and you are in control of yourself, most importantly. When I started this podcast, it seemed like I had to have it all figured out on my own.

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slash confidence to save 15% and unlock free shipping. Exclusions apply. So she's, you know, knocks it out, says, hey, no more cheap revenue officer, therefore no more you. I've got two memos for you to look at. She passed them both in front of me, all smiles still standing. And the first memo said Heather's been fired. That was it. After 14 years, that was the memo she was going to send out to the company. The second memo was this beautiful love letter, you know, Heather Monaghan, amazing employee,

accomplished so much in 14 years, more than done. doubling the company's revenue, blah, blah, blah, going on and on about how amazing I am. And then in closing, it says, Heather has made the decision to go on and do something new and pursue new opportunities. We are cheering her on. Please join us and cheering her on as well. Basically, here's what this all means. And I've seen the movie before.

I had been at the company 14 years. I knew. Once she said I was being fired, I knew what the game would be. She always did this. You basically bully the person to say, I'm going to send a memo to everyone. saying you've been fired and that's it which is you know many of us will feel shameful or embarrassed or just crappy like disregarded kind of tossed away just a crappy feeling right not something that you're planning or hoping for the second option is to write the beautiful memo which really

gives you the out right i'm not going to be at the company anymore regardless right she's giving me this beautiful out to go out on top but in order to get that memo you have to sign this really lengthy, convoluted, non-dispairaging agreement. And what that is for anyone who hasn't had to deal with something like this, basically it's a gag clause. And so it says, if you sign this paper, you are going to get a very big check. A parting gift, we'll call it. And you're going to get the beautiful memo, too.

But you can never, ever again, speak of anything that had happened in or around this company, in or around these 14 years you worked here, in or around any of executives in the company any of the trade secrets you have the list goes on and on i mean it's so one-sided it's ridiculous so i knew basically i'd be setting myself up for a lawsuit right because if i said anything this lady is going to come after me because she'd have this gag order and i didn't want that but more important that i didn't want that of course i wanted the big check hello who wouldn't want the big check right you work somewhere for so long you set yourself up to be in a place of you know financial stability to all of a sudden, no, I'm not going to have a job, which I always have worked my whole

life. And then, no, the other thing I didn't mention, I had an 18-month non-compete in order to get the CRO job I had to sign that. So for 18 months, I would not be able to go back and work in the industry that I had expertise in. I had a massive network in. I mean, I had so many, I could get any job I wanted in that industry. But because I had signed that non-compete, for 18 months, I could not compete against the company that was firing me. And so knowing all this, and literally, this is all happening in my head in like 30 seconds as I'm realizing it, because I hadn't planned for any of this. I didn't think she was firing me that day.

As I'm thinking about it, all I could focus on was this lady standing there and smiling. And that was it. I remember thinking, she's not going to be controlling me. No, I'm not going to react. And you know what? My response is going to take all the power out of this room. So I sat quietly for a minute, and I kept looking at the papers and looking at her, and her smile didn't fade, right? It was this giant megawatt smile, and it was so, yuck, gross.

I remember thinking, not today, Satan, not today. And I smiled. And I said, I didn't write either one of these memos, so I won't be signing either one of them. And if you have nothing else to say, I'm out of here. And I stood up and I took all of the air and all of the power out of that meeting, out of that room. that woman's face turned beat red and her giant megawatt smile went into a frown and she had no words and it was incredible and that whole meeting was around this concept of don't react don't let her control me respond of course i wanted to start crying are you kidding of course i

wanted to cry i mean i fought back tears but i did it right i just remember stay calm stay calm how they breathe like to stay calm i didn't know what i was going to do but i'm so flippen proud And I think that, I should say, I think that I know that the reason why I was able to do this is because that was after years of her treating me badly for so long and me turning a blind eye to that bad behavior. P.S. So this power move that I played was incredible, so proud of it. It wasn't about banging my fist on the table, screaming at her. How dare you do this to me after I built this company? That would have been one option, right? I could have yelled at her. I could have told her she's a terrible person and that she's impacting me and my son in a whole. horrible way and that this is so crappy and that she's going to fan, right, all these like things you think up in your mind, right, of freaking out and blowing a gasket on someone. Of course, I thought all those things, but because I had worked on this, personally, for myself for a while, I was able to do the right thing, which I'm so grateful for, super grateful.

I didn't cry. I kept it together and I really stood in my power and I will never forget how I handled it or I will never forget how I took all the power out of that situation and brought it right with me to my car. Then I cried for three hours on the ride home. Okay, keeping it real. Just got to tell you. But it doesn't matter.

I'm fine with that because it was normal, right? I was really devastated in that moment. But when it counted, I didn't react. I responded. And so this is for my amazing person who sent this note in today, okay, we got you. You're in a situation. You haven't been treated with respect. You've been bullied.

Probably passive aggressive. this lady is probably intimidated by you agree to all of it right so here's the thing and we've already talked about this thing is that you want to respond not react you want to remain calm i'd practice at home right like you really want to be thoughtful and intentional about how you're going to handle this and think about the outcome that you're looking for right i want a solution whatever that may be doesn't have to be perfect but the fact that you're showing up for yourself the fact that you're speaking your mind the fact that you're not allowing someone to disrespect you any longer, that's going to create confidence within you. That's going to help you feel better

about who you are. And that's going to start you down a better path moving forward. Whether you stay at that company or not, right? Whether that lady stays there, it doesn't matter. It's about you choosing you. And I'm proud of you for doing that. So respond. Don't react. Stay calm. Practice this at home. And I would, you know, send an email and just ask for a quick meeting. I'd say, hey, is there any chance I can get on your calendar for a 15 minute meeting this week? You don't need to say why you know you know she says what's it about just some communication issues that i want to address with you feel like it can be very you know basic and then i get really calm i go into the meeting and i and i would explain listen i'm making it up listen jen when i came here i was told to

work with you and that you would help show me the ropes however i have to be open with you that i feel like there's tension between us or i don't know if it's resentment i'm not sure what it is that i'm feeling i wanted to ask you did i do something wrong did i upset you or is there something do you feel this too or or is this in my head right i mean i'd ask that question in some way that's not offensive but coming from a place of curiosity knowing that you don't feel good about the situation you want to be honest about it but you're here trying to find a solution again we don't know what's going on this lady's life she might think you're there to take her job and she's getting fired the next day and she's panicking we don't know and you can't answer those

questions until she tells you how she feels right so i open up the communication that's the first step. This lady could empty her glass and be like, I'm at the worst time in my life. I'm so sorry that you feel that way. That was not intentional. But we don't know how she's going to respond. She might be the same way my old villain was and say, don't know what you're talking about. I have no idea what you're talking about. When that happens, okay, that's not a red flag. That's a deal breaker, right? And that means, okay, well, I guess this discussion's over then. I do want you to know that I will be respected here at our place of employment. I will respect you, but you will respect me as well. I guess there's nothing else for us to discuss. Thank you. Have a good day. And walk out,

right? Just very calm. Own your power. And then what I would do after that is I'd reach out to the HR director. I would reach out to your manager, whoever it is, but I'd ask for help. I'd say, hey, listen, I've been having some challenges in regards to communication with Jen. I decided to address them one-on-one. The meeting didn't go well. She didn't see any issue. However, I know in our handbook respect in the workplace is really important. Communication is important. How can we best handle the situation as she and I working together doesn't seem to be working. What would you suggest we do from here? Right?

So, I'd ask for help. So those are the steps that I would initially take and see how it unfolds. Right? We can't predict. We can't project. We have to put it into motion, take action and put it into motion. So best of luck, I'm super proud of you for sticking up for yourself. I'm super proud of you for not letting this villain to continue her bad behavior and never

turn a blind eye to bad behavior. And you are not, which means you are creating confidence in you. So I get a message from a gentleman, and it says, and this is on LinkedIn. Hey, Heather, I've read your story. I know that you got fired. I just want you to know what's happening to me right now. I am struggling and trying to hold my head up, however, it's not easy. Okay, I totally get it because I felt the same way when I was in the moment when it was

all happening. But here's what I know now. Wait a minute. No, getting fired means you are in good company. Mark Cuban was fired. Oprah Winfrey fired. J.K. Rowling fired. Steve Jobs fired.

Heather Monaghan fired. You are rolling with the top, the best of the best. Choose to see this as your jump-off point. Did you really love? Was it your purpose and life to be there? Probably not. Peel back that onion and say, wait a minute, I didn't even really like work here. Why am I sitting here crying?

Wait a minute. I'm just afraid of the uncertainty. But here's the thing about uncertainty, guys. When everything is uncertain, anything is possible. Stepping into that uncertainty, embracing it and saying, I'm excited. I have no idea what's about to happen next. That means it's going to be different than this groundhog day run that I've been on for a year or two years or 20 years. Who knows?

This is exciting. I'm taking my unique skills and talents somewhere new. I have no idea what that's going to look like. And that's why I'm jumping up and down to walk out the door in my house every morning embracing this opportunity. This is like once in a lifetime rebirth. Here we go. This is my jump off point. Right.

So that's kind of how I see it versus how. how he's seeing it right now. And I said to him, you need to read my books. You need to listen to my podcast, ASAP, because it's important in those moments when you're really challenged, really down, like getting fired or breakup or whatever it is. You're doubting and questioning yourself. It's critical who you surround yourself with, not only the people in your life, but the podcast, the books, you know, the content you consume, the media, really, you've got to curate this. I talk so much about this in my new book, Overcome Your Villains. It's the three-step process to overcome any adversity beliefs action and knowledge so i'm talking right now about this

knowledge piece for him that you know who are you letting into your world and this is like i see you critical time right now right intensive care you're you're in it so be that protective of you that you're not letting anyone into your circle into your head unless it's someone who is cheering you on supporting and encouraging you someone who's light years ahead of you that's showing you the way those are the people you want to surround yourself with fire all of the villains and i promise you if you were fired from that company it's because you weren't the right fit anymore it doesn't mean anything bad about you or it has nothing to do about you when that woman fired me she should have fired me she was threatened by me you don't want to be working side by side with someone you

think is going to take your job she should fire me then i'm not the right fit for her and here i am you know four years later outside of it and i'm saying what a gift she she was right i shouldn't have been working there side by side. I was diminishing myself trying to make her feel comfortable. And that is the wrong answer. So stop shrinking the fit in the places you've already outgrown. The only reason you're freaking out is because you don't know what's on that other side. But I'm here to tell you, for me, there was my first book confidence creator and my speaking career and interviewing Sarah Blakely live on stage at a sales conference and my TEDx talk getting and promoted to TED and me launching my podcast back in 2019 and me signing with Harper

Collins leadership and me taking these massive stages all around the country, right, helping so many people. There's been so many blessings that have happened and they all started with that one domino falling that day. The one domino that fell was that old life went away when I got fired. The old must fall away in order for the new to arise. Don't see it as an end. This is just the beginning.

Until next week, I'll be creating my confidence, and I know you will too. I decided to change that dynamic. I could have been more excited for what you're going to hear, start learning and growing. Inevitably, something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. I'm on this journey with me.