Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - Confidence Classic: Get UNSTUCK From Your Negative Thoughts with Trish Blackwell Top-Ranked Podcast Host & Confidence Coach
Episode Date: September 12, 2024In This Episode You Will Learn About: Being comfortable in your skin Understanding your fears Becoming your own mentor Addressing your negative thoughts Resources: Website: https://www.tris...hblackwell.com/ Read Straighten Your Crown Listen to The Confidence Podcast Join The College of Confidence Youtube: @Trish Blackwell Instagram: @trish_blackwell Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/monahan Kajabi is offering a free 30-day trial to start your business if you go to Kajabi.com/confidence Get your KPI Checklist, absolutely free, at NetSuite.com/MONAHAN. Want to do more and spend less like Uber, 8x8, and Databricks Mosaic? Take a free test drive of OCI at oracle.com/MONAHAN. Get 15% off your first order on www.jennikayne.com when you use code CONFIDENCE15 at checkout. Go to ro.co/confidence, and pay just $99 for your first month. Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes: If there is one thing we are all about here, it is building your CONFIDENCE! So it is absolutely amazing that today we have on the show a massively influential confidence coach and one of the original confidence-creating podcasters, Trish Blackwell! Trish is here to share her unique perspective on building confidence, starting with challenging negative self-talk. Our thoughts have so much to do with how we feel about ourselves. Start thinking about your thinking and become unstuck from the negative spiral. It is time to straighten your crown and start living as the confident, intelligent, and incredible person you are!Â
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to full capacity of the human experience, you've got to allow yourself to understand your feeling,
have emotional intelligence. Confidence isn't what I believe it's a skill, but it's also very
much an emotion. It's also a mindset. You can put it in lots of different categories, but if you
really want to master confidence, we've got to master our emotional intelligence. I don't want
it just a successful life. I want a beautiful life. And I believe that emotions allow that.
You got to be willing to feel it. You got to be brave. So you can be brave in all these things,
going up and being bold, being on stage, closing
huge deals, but the next level of bravery is the emotional bravery.
And then, I mean, what's available to you is nuts.
Come on this journey with me.
Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity,
and set you up for a better tomorrow.
I'm ready for my closeup. Did you know I recently celebrated having created 450 episodes of this podcast? And
we are still going strong. Thank you for listening. That is a lot of topics and amazing guests.
So I thought I would put together a few of my listener favorites for the month of September
as bonuses on Thursdays to help you catch up on what you may have missed.
So you can keep growing your confidence with these confidence classics. Let me know what you think.
I'm so excited for you to meet my new friend Trish Blackwell. She's an expert empowering people
to get past self-doubt, overcome self-limiting beliefs,
and perform at their highest level.
She's our kind of people.
Confidence coach to Olympic and professional athletes, Ironman champions, CEOs, high achieving
entrepreneurs and cultural influencers.
She's been featured by TLC, Forbes, Entrepreneur, and Elite Daily as one of the top confidence
coaches in the world. Her approach to confidence has equipped and empowered an audience of over,
get ready for it, 3.5 million people worldwide through her top ranked podcast, the Confidence
Podcast. Her books, her coaching, and her online conference university, the College of Confidence, also considered the most encouraging
place on the internet.
She lives in Washington, D.C. with her husband and two young
children.
Trish, thank you so much for being here.
Well, I'm so excited to be here.
So thank you for having me.
I'm excited for our new friendship.
You're the best.
I'm loving, I love what women are doing in the world.
And so to partner and collaborate alongside other women who are my people, like you said, hello.
Well, I want to give everybody a little behind the scenes on that. So for me, maybe like a month ago,
another female podcaster reached out to me and she said, Hey, I know that some people might see you
and I as competitive. We're in the same arena, whatever. I don't see it that
way. She said, I think it'd be cool if you'd come on my show, I'll come on yours. And if our listeners
like the other person, they'll go follow them. And then we both grow and touch more people. It's a
positive. So I sent you a DM doing the same thing, because I knew your podcast is so big and it's on
the same topic as my podcast. But I thought, let's see, you know, if she's not like minded, that's,
you know, that's not the right person for me to partner with.
But immediately you were like, oh, my gosh, great idea.
Yes, let's work together.
And it's so exciting to see people not competing,
but instead saying, how can we help one another to help more people?
I OK. And so you and I already connected on how we're both like
when I say I'm competitive, I'm like, like it's it's it.
I've been in therapy to like get it down and like, like, it's, it's, I've been in therapy
to like, get it down and like in control, right? It's, and it's a great thing. So I have loved what
some mentors in my life have just like, I don't believe in competition, I believe in competition
for your own sake, but I believe in collaboration and competition. When you're feeling like you have
competitors, especially in business, I'm like, that's just insecurity.
Like a couple of, we are in the field of confidence.
And it's so interesting because to relay that scenario,
about a year ago, I'd reached out to a fellow Feeble podcast
or also in our sphere.
And she very much rejected me and went like this.
So when you reached out, I was like, someone who's like me.
Okay, she's nice.
Like I think I had been so dejected from some of that.
And I went, well, I'm just going to keep loving people.
And the more we collaborate, the more we serve people.
Furthermore, I know the topics on podcasts,
especially that I jam out on,
I listened to like five or six different shows
that cover the same topic,
and they all serve me in a very different way.
And I often purchase from all of those people
because they mean something different.
And it's like when people put that together and you're like, you literally, I, I so grateful
for the people who share other people with me that I want to do that in this world too.
You bring up such a great point that it's something that I've really only become aware
of in the last couple of years. Everyone can be bringing the same message to light, but
you're doing it through the lens of your experience, what's important to you, your priorities and expertise, which is going to be different than mine.
Right? So like you said, we can all speak to how to advance people, how to get them
to the next level, how to get the most out of them, how to get them to the next level
of confidence, but it's going to be a different approach. So it'll resonate in different ways
with different people and they're all needed. So true. Yes. When we get out of that comparative toxic cycle of trying to be
better or trying to look better and these vanity metrics and you're like,
wait, wait, wait, where was the heart behind this and the purpose? Because
people see the authenticity and they know if you actually care about them.
And then furthermore, if you're showing them this world to make the world better, it's not actually about you. But we get into, you start looking around,
you get out of your lane, just like I was a swimmer. And if I ever even my peripheral vision
looked over, girl, I lost the race. I was also a sprinter. And so like eyes have to be forward and
like on the black line and that's it. And I even care about where my competitor is in a race, I've lost it. I've lost my race because I didn't have my mind in my own lane.
And yet we live in a world that we're constantly comparing. We scroll on social media. We're being
told and what happens is we actually, we're shooting ourselves in the foot because our
subconscious is hearing messages of comparison and criticism and competition from a
striving hustle versus insecurity sense. Let me prove myself, make my way versus I belong here.
This sense of ease and like, I'm made for this. I'm going to go help people. And such a different
energy, right? And I think a lot of people, when we start our businesses, I think you start with
that hustle energy of like,
I'm gonna make it.
And then you really hit your stride
when you trust that you belong,
you trust that in the compound effect of your efforts.
It's kind of cool to watch that grow.
I even look at my own journey and go, wow, it's cool.
Like you literally can see each transformation
of just going acceptance and confidence
in what you're doing.
As you make
massive mistakes and figure it out. But it's kind of, and you look at it as a game, it's
really fun.
When I started podcasting, an online store was the furthest thing from my mind. Now I'm
selling my group coaching on the regular and it is just so easy all because I use Shopify. How did you get into this line of work?
I mean, how does someone get into this confidence game?
I'll give you the super nutshell.
So super nutshell, highly competitive athlete was Olympic
track myself and then self-sabotaged by overthinking.
And so I would have coaches be like, Trish, you've got so much
potential, but we need you to try to stop trying so hard.
Hey, what we want you to do is just stop thinking.
And I'm like, OK, so you're telling me to stop thinking.
And all I can do is think.
And so I got really fascinated in that.
And I started through college and I studied linguistics.
So I was like, you know what? I'm just going to go live in Europe.
This whole time, the high achiever had an eating disorder
that was behind the scenes and a lot of perfectionistic
tendencies, which we have already talked about, is just a big old pretty bow for fear. And when I
lived in France, I was like, hold up, they know something that I don't. And so I got so interested
in the linguistics of it. And I can remember very distinctly sitting at this cafe. And I went from
being somebody who had my days booked as a collegiate athlete from like
4 a.m. to like, you know, 11 p.m.
And then I go to France to teach English and they're like, you know, we don't need school
today and come have a glass of wine at lunch.
I mean, it really was this like very stereotypical French experience of like here, we're going
to pay you full time, but really you need to work about 10 hours a week.
So go have fun.
I went from literally my whole life had been overbooked to now I found free time. And it was my first opportunity to go, well, how
do you want to live your life? And what is important to you? And why are you hustling?
What does it look like to sit with your and at this point, there were not smartphones,
right? I had a dictionary and a notebook and I would just sit at a cafe and watch people
go by and be like, Oh, I don't know that vocabulary word for a scarf. Let me look that up. That's how I passed time.
I know it's like that experience changed my life because one day
I was looking and I was feeling really insecure and I had been
self-critical about my body and what am I doing with my life?
I was like, all these women,
they're so beautiful, they're so confident.
I was like, I'm so in admiration of them.
It wasn't because I think in the US, I was like, oh, it's because she looks like
this and this and this and she wears this.
But there I was like, well, that woman's 20 pounds overweight and that woman's five pounds
underweight.
And that woman has a completely like goth style and this woman's very Parisian chic,
but they're all gorgeous.
What?
Like that blew my mind.
And then I was like, what is it?
And I finally was like, it's confidence.
That's what I want.
My whole life, I've come off as super outgoing, type A, team captain of every, like that achiever,
I can flexible with everything.
So I'm technically on the surface very confident, but I looked at these and I'm like, huh, these
women have a different type of confidence than I do.
I looked at the French word.
Now, you can say in French to have confidence, You can use the word confident, but they don't really
say it. What's more colloquially used is the phrase, etre bien dans sa peau, which means to be well
in your skin. So they wouldn't say, elle est confident. They would say, elle est bien dans
sa peau, meaning she's well in her skin. And I'm like, oh, I'm not well in my skin. How do I get that?
Like, how do I become comfortable in the skin I'm in?
And then that started, and he went back to US, became a personal trainer.
And then in my training, I realized, look, I can get anyone to lose 100 pounds.
I can get anyone to lose five pounds and look amazing.
But if I can't change their thoughts, they can hold it.
They'll look good for a month and then go back.
And that's where I was like, okay, this is a moron to something.
I was interested in the comp and the brain transformation.
And so that got down me, got me down the path of coaching.
And at the time I started my podcast, I started writing and it was like, okay, something I'm
really well and broadly educated.
And I don't know how to do this stuff.
Where are we not having conversations?
How are we not teaching people
to think about their thoughts? Like, and I, as sports psychologist at the division one school,
I was just told to stop thinking if that's what the help I was getting. I'm at this elite level and these elite people are going, yeah, just, you know, just some visualization. And I'm,
I mean, again, I had access to such great resources. And that's what I got.
I went, okay, there's got to be a better path.
And what's very cool is, you know, you're like, I love something and I don't know why
it makes sense.
The whole time when I was in college, I majored in French and Spanish.
So, you know, why?
I don't know.
It's just like, that's my passion.
I just was like, I know I'm supposed to do things with words.
I just know it was evident to me like God had been like, yep, study words. I don't want to be a teacher. I don't want anything. I thought maybe I'll go
work with CIA, do linguistics. And what was so cool about it was, everyone was like, why are you
majoring in that? Like you should go be a doctor. And I was like, I don't know. I just love dictionaries
and words and looking them up in different languages. And you know what's so cool? It does not make sense. I have incredibly
expensive education, but it is 100% what I do in confidence. In my coaching, if you were to ask me,
what do I do in my podcast, in my coaching, in my work? I help people look at the words
their brain uses and help them find different words for them. That's all that is. If we look
at what mindset is, we are changing the language of the way our brain thinks. Where if you go to the neuroplasticity of the brain and creating new neural pathways,
all we're trying to do, I really believe in the life coaching that I do, hey, what are the words
you currently think? What are the default thoughts you have? Let's really seek to understand them.
First, we have to undercover the emotions. I mean, let's get beyond the self-criticism,
beyond the insecurity, find out what's the thought behind that. And now let's use a different language to get a different result and communicate to our
future in a different way. And I was like, oh my gosh, it's so cool that this whole time,
when my parents were like, are you sure you want to do this? You sure we should be studying French?
But I just knew deep down, I'm like, I'm called two words. And to be able to use that now full time,
I'm like, that is what kind of got me
down the rabbit hole. And along the way, I've just been blessed to have some friends to
be like, Hey, there's this new thing called podcasting. I think you should do it. I'm
like, all right. I mean, I kind of always had a mentor who said, throw spaghetti on
the wall and see what sticks. And I had never thought of it as a business. I just thought
if it helps people, okay, that might be cool. Of course, I had to get over like, I don't
know the technology. I don't know if I can talk about anything. I mean, okay, that might be cool. Of course, I had to get over like, I don't know the technology.
I don't know if I can talk about anything.
I mean, just, but I had enough people go, hey, I think you should try it.
And I was at that time single and I went, all right, I got time.
Let's do it.
And so, but it was, you know, I started my podcast in like 2013.
Oh, good for you.
That is so great.
Well, what's crazy is it was like, it was at a time when I was working in a gym with like,
you know, 3000 people who came through a day. So very high volume, very cool, great social thing.
And everyone would be like, how's that? It's almost like that joke of like, how's that book
going? Like for some, he's not writing a book, but they say they are. Oh, that podcast. Oh, right.
How do you do that? How do you find a, like no one knew what podcasts for, you know? So I'm loving
that we're a day and age that people do. So it's kind of a little circle. Yeah. But that's the one.
You got in at the right time. That is so great.
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I've never heard the way that you just described it right again, like we were saying, I've
never heard this approach. And so I'm so intrigued. Can you give us a real world example of like someone that you work with and what does
that look like? And what are those words like? Well, let's see. So in helping someone understand
why they're sabotaging their own success. So I work with a lot of high achievers who then there's
guilt of success, right? Hey, I'm doing so much better than everyone else. Is it wrong for me to want more?
And so first we, so understanding,
helping them identify emotions,
like what is that guilt that you're feeling?
Is it guilt? They wouldn't identify.
I just, well, I think I'm enough.
I should settle here.
And understanding, no, there's emotion
and going into what is behind,
because if your thoughts create your feelings
and your feelings create your actions,
your actions create your results in life, everything goes back to the brain, to the thought. So many people just
brush through the emotion and they don't identify. So if we want to identify one specific emotion,
so it's guilt or overwhelm. Overwhelm is maybe an easier example to work with. I don't know,
I'm just feeling so overwhelmed. Okay. So we can't allow that. And the overwhelm, what overwhelm
will do is it confuses you.
It's an indulgent emotion that when you're looking, especially if you look at a business
project or growth project or weight loss or anything that you actually care about, it's
very easy to feel overwhelmed. It feels unsurmountable. And then you're like, I don't even know where
to start. And we allow ourselves that cop out when really overwhelmed just clouds your,
your thoughts. And I think about confidence as having clarity of thought.
When it's cloudy, it's foggy, it's very hard to move forward.
So overwhelm is the emotion.
And so often we go, it's just my thought.
And behind the overwhelm is typically fear.
It really goes back to identifying what is the fear.
And if you were honest, I can tell myself,
here's a good scenario.
Last time I was overwhelmed, my husband said,
well, what are you overwhelmed about?
And I remember being very exasperated.
I was like, you wouldn't understand.
It's like 15 things.
And he was like, well, what are they?
And I was like, well, and girl,
once I like listed them out, it was like four things.
And then they were very manageable.
And then I put them in words.
And then ultimately behind that I said,
oh, I think I'm afraid that blah and whatever
it was.
And so if you break it down that first, you break down the emotion, why are you feeling
the emotion?
And now what are the thought?
What is the thought, the driving thought?
Often with overwhelm, I'm afraid I'm not enough to do what it takes, or I'm afraid that I
might go and embarrass myself and everyone's going to remember.
And then when you have that, you can then talk back to it very directly to that thought
to create the freedom to go have that courage to go and go, what's the worst thing that
could happen?
I think you and I, because we have enough competency of practice of knowing, all right,
I feel fear.
I also can go right to the worst case scenario and know, okay, what's the worst that can
happen?
Can I handle that?
Yes, I can handle that. I can move forward. I think a lot of people can cognitively get that conceptually,
but to get to the emotional ability to move through it, if you've never done it before,
I think it's really helpful to go into breaking it down past the emotion to the thought and go,
oh, you're afraid of that. Now you have your higher self, your future self answer that with
a better sentence, with a better reframe.
The reframes of language aren't necessarily this positive reframe. We're not like, I'm afraid.
I don't need to be afraid. Sometimes you can be as simple as, I'm really stressed. Stress is a
choice. Sometimes you can speak very directly to yourself and kind of get yourself out of your own
way. But then sometimes it's teaching yourself how to talk to yourself as a friend, as the mentor you
need at that moment. Because so often we're just waiting for permission to say, is it okay to not
feel this way? Or is it okay to feel this way? Can you tell me this will pass? Or as I think you've
mentioned, oh, I feel really anxious about this opportunity. Oh, no, you don't girl. It's just
excitement. That's it. Like I have a seven year old, right? And I often think about this when you break down confidence and thought patterns into how would I
talk to Ellie? Cause right? She's like, Oh, blah, blah. And you're like, no girl, that's, we're
supposed to feel that's just your brain being normal, being human. You're supposed to feel
really a little bit nervous about that Girl Scout presentation. Of course it just means you care.
And so giving new language to the thought that's already there,
it doesn't negate that you feel that way or that you're thinking it or that it's wrong to think it,
it gives you permission to go to not get stuck in it.
Think we get too stuck in our thoughts.
Oh, that is so true.
And I just I love the way that you explained it is such a different way than I've ever heard it.
Now, you also mentioned that you talk back to negative thoughts and anxiety. What does talking
back mean?
So, I look at my thoughts and I preach. I think this is what's
so funny. Again, nerd alert goes back to me when I lived in
Europe where I would have my, and this was began before phones.
I'm so thankful for translation apps now, but my Spanish, I had
Spanish. I was trying to teach myself Chinese. I had my Chinese dictionary, my Spanish dictionary, my French dictionary, and my little journal.
And so it was cool because I kind of got to a point where I was like, oh, how would I
say this and this? How would I say this and this? Same language, same sentence, different
languages. And I had the practice of learning how to have a conversation with myself, even
though I was saying the same thing. And I think that's what we do when we talk back to a thought, we almost neutralize
it, almost personify the thought and go, Hey thought, Oh, that's interesting
that you say that it could also be this instead.
Here's a different translation of that.
I mean, we certainly can do this out loud.
I encourage people to do this with pen and paper or with daily journaling.
I look at journaling and thought reframe, not as a nice to have
and not as this like descriptive today, I did this.
I think it's very much like brushing your brain.
Like we brush our teeth and we're not upset that we do brush our teeth every day.
But I think some people are really like, wait, so you're telling me to be confident and have
an amazing mindset I have to journal every day?
Like, yeah, like three minutes, like a four minute thing, like
write your visualization, write your affirmation and reframe a thought.
Teach yourself to talk back to a thought.
Right.
And it can be so simple as simply going, Hey, what am I actually thinking?
I think that's the other key.
What is it that I'm actually thinking?
I like to go to little Trish and go, Hey, little Trish, like, what are you actually
thinking? Or another key kind of a good way to get my brain to know what I'm thinking. Again,
keep in mind, I was the worst sports psychologist patient possible because I couldn't think about,
I couldn't even identify what I was thinking. So for me to identify what I'm thinking off and say,
Trish, what's bothering you? And then I can go, Oh, I'm really irritated
about, and then I can go, Oh man, I can, like, we have to acknowledge the thought. Yeah,
that it does stink, but, and almost like a friend talks back to it. You, you can learn
to talk back to your thoughts. Another way you can talk back to a negative thought or
specifically an anxious thought is that's effective for me and a lot of the people I coach is I like
to personify my old Trish, the one who has these anxious thoughts, the fear thoughts
as either Trish 1.0 and then my future Trish, the Trish I'm becoming is Trish 2.0, like
that upgrade or even better, I like, because my thoughts can be trashy, like really fear-based.
Let's just call it trash. So trashy Trish and then tremendous Trish.
Or I mean, I like alliteration.
It's the ability to go,
oh, that's just trashy Trish showing up again
with some ridiculous fear.
I don't need to camp out there.
I kind of think of trashy Trish as the most insecure
like eighth grade version of me who never fit in belt.
Like people are looking at like,
and I can see her and go and have compassion for her.
She's just scared. Whereas I think before I knew how to do some of these techniques, I would be like, Oh, you're not supposed to be negative. You're so positive.
Like, I tried to sort of white knuckle it. I'm like the leader I should write and I'm like, why could I have compassion that I have a human brain?
And sometimes my human brain is going to offer me very negative suggestions. And sometimes they're going to feel very intense and real.
And I can either camp out with them, because where you camp out is what you activate, right?
Because your thoughts are going to create your feelings, feelings, create your results.
Or you can just go, hey, Trishy, Trish, it's good to see you.
Thanks for saying hi. And I'm just going to escort you out.
But in order to do that, you can't just like ignore that she's there or that the thoughts are there.
You have to acknowledge, hey, you're not supposed to be here.
Well, you're welcome here, but you're not taking the driver's seat.
You can sit in the passenger seat.
You can be long for the- because let's be honest,
sometimes the fear is going to be there.
Or we can think big world stuff.
I mean, sometimes there's things going on in the world like there are now,
which we can't just rainbow sunshine,
a global crisis or war. So you're going to have those thoughts
about it and the compassion and the pain and heaviness of that. But we don't let that drive
our vehicle, our thought vehicle, so to speak. We say, Hey, you can be with me, but I'm going to put
you in the passenger seat. And so I'm going to hear you the radio up or put my earphones in.
When I was back in corporate America and for everyone listening right now that has like, you know, a type A personality, you're in, you know, some major job, overwhelm.
If you had just had that conversation with me
back in corporate America, I'd be like,
I don't have time for this.
That would have been my go-to answer is like, you're crazy.
And truly I believe that.
I 100% believe, but now what I know about that earlier
version of me, I wasn't at a place in my life
to deal with it.
Cause I felt like, or I was
subconsciously that if I started peeling back that onion, everything was going to fall apart.
And that scared the heck out of me. And I think the way the sort of the exit ramp to freedom for
anybody that's taking their head to that, I remember that like, if I peel that back,
I don't know if I can handle what's next. Yes. And I think one of the best quotes I've ever heard,
and I cannot attribute to it,
I can just tell you it's not my quote.
So, okay, it's not my quote,
but if you're willing to feel your feelings
and you're willing to fail,
you will be able to achieve anything.
And so I love it.
For those of us who are type A and driven,
and you're like, well, I don't want to fail.
Like, I'm willing doing the failure.
Like failure all the way, check, check, check.
I know it's a step to success, but you're like, oh, I also have to be willing to feel because that really is
to full capacity of the human experience. You've got to allow yourself to understand your feeling,
have emotional intelligence. Confidence isn't what I believe it's a skill, but it's also very
much an emotion. It's also a mindset. You can put it in lots of different categories, but if you
really want to master confidence, we've gotta master our emotional intelligence.
And we very much go, I haven't got time for that.
But I tell you what you do have time for
is a better experience of life.
And the way you do some of this work,
it's five minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes at a time.
And so if we're gonna say that we don't have time for it,
then I think we need to take ownership
that we're preventing ourselves
from tapping into really, uh, really
the fullest, like, I don't want to just a successful life. I want a beautiful life.
I want a beautiful experience of life. And I believe that emotions allow that.
You've got to be willing to feel it.
Got to be willing to feel it. Got to be brave. So you can be brave and all these things going
up and being bold, being on stage, you know, closing huge deals. But the next level of
bravery is the emotional bravery. And then I mean, what's available to you is nuts. And you know that. Yeah, I do. But that's been a long,
long journey. And I know there's people listening right now that I need you to hear what Trish just
told you. That is huge. Tell us a little bit about Straighten Your Crown, your newest book that you
have out. So Straighten Your Crown. It's my newest book. We just released it a few months ago. It is a book on worthiness.
It's a book for the reader who craves something deeper
spiritually and a deeper confidence in their purpose.
It's a book on worthiness and a book on purpose
and a book on busyness because a lot of,
I think what we're craving is this deep sense
of fulfillment and purpose. But we live such busy lives. We live so distracted that we go, I don't even
know if I have time to think. I can't even hear my own thoughts and let alone can hear
God. And so it's a book that shows you that how whatever your relationship with God is
and whatever your faith background is that God doesn't just love you, he delights in you. And that's a big difference. I know, I think about, you
think about, for those of us who are parents out there, I love my nieces and nephews, for
sure, but I delight in my children. When you see your children happy, the delight that
I have when my kids are joyful, it's just incredible. I also love that
when I want to do something intimate with my kids, or exciting, I have a little four-year-old, they're
like, Baker, come here. The whisper brings them closer to me, and I want that tenderness.
I think sometimes we get so frustrated with, I can't hear you, and what's the point? We can get
very cynical, and as soon asicism steals your joy. It steals your
confidence. But when you realize that some of the deepest things, the deepest lessons,
the deepest growth lessons, the deepest spiritual lessons, the things that give us meaning and
purpose for our confidence come in whispers. And I used to be so frustrated, like, great,
God whispers to me. Too bad I can't hear. I'm like, whoa, I didn't know that was almost like
an act of intimacy. It's beautiful.
And so it's really a book on slowing down your life
a little bit to experience deeper joy and more beauty,
but more than that, freedom to not have to believe that.
I'm not doing it, I very much have had to detox the,
I'm not doing enough, I'm not enough, I need to do better.
And so it speaks to that not enoughness voice
so that people can show up without all that noise. And we it speaks to that not enoughness voice so that people
can show up without all that noise. And we just go and make a difference in the world.
Oh my gosh, this is so important. I've had so many people ask me recently about purpose
and how to figure out the purpose. And you're right. If you don't slow down and start noticing
what your thoughts are, what your feelings are noticing what's around you, it is almost
impossible to ever figure out what that purpose is.
Yeah. And it's counterintuitive, right? Like it's counterintuitive to be like, all right,
I need you to slow down and be still. And you're like, yeah, but I have so much to do.
But true wisdom, true maturity, true leaders have that margin, right? And I look at it,
here's what's cool. I think it's been helpful for me,
as somebody who loves productivity,
man, girl, I love squeezing out every last ounce of my day.
I wanna incorporate micro moments of margin.
That's way more accessible to me
than Trish stop working hour early.
I mean, maybe I can do that.
I'm gonna do that today, I'm gonna get my nails done.
But micro moments of margin, I'm like,
oh, a 10 minute walk with my dog without my phone. That's beautiful. That's actually purposeful. Like, okay. And seeing
that your time to luxuriate and quiet throughout your day is actually purposeful for your higher
purpose.
Oh, so good. I could not agree with you more. Where can everyone find your book?
Go to Amazon. We'll go to my website or go to, and you can go to trishblackwell.com forward
slash crown. That will take you right to Amazon anywhere books are sold and you'll find it
there and we've got the audible and we've got all versions and yeah, check it out.
And the confidence podcast you recently had me on, go check out that episode guys. You've
got to subscribe to this podcast. She's got 3.5 million people listening for
a reason. Where else can everybody find you? TrishPlackwell.com or collegeofconfidence.com.
Yeah. Thank you so much for coming on. I'm so grateful to have met you. So excited for
what is in store for both of us moving forward and really appreciate coming on the show.
Ditto, ditto, ditto. Thank you, Heather. I'm so grateful and everyone, I can't wait to meet you as well. Thank you for allowing me to be just a voice in your
life today. Well, you are an important one. And I love the perspective that you bring. Thank you
for teaching me today too, guys, until next week, keep creating your confidence, take Trish's advice
and direction and take a minute to see how you're feeling, to think about your thoughts and know we're thinking about you too.
See you next week.
I decided to change that dynamic.
I'm the right family.
I couldn't be more excited for what you're gonna hear.
Start learning and growing.
Inevitably something will happen.
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