Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - David Meltzer Episode 29

Episode Date: November 19, 2019

Heather is joined by David Meltzer, the CEO of Sports 1 Marketing and former CEO of the renowned Leigh Steinberg Sports & Entertainment agency whose newest book, Game-Time Decision Making, was a #1 new release. David has been recognized by Variety Magazine as their Sports Humanitarian of the Year and awarded the Ellis Island Medal of Honor. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Proger, fresh, for everyone! Thank you for listening to this Podcast One production. Available on Apple Podcasts and Podcast One. Each week when you join the podcast, one of your going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity and set you up for better tomorrow. After you've seen me, come on this journey with me. Hi and welcome back to creating confidence. I'm so grateful that you are here with me yet again

this week on this crazy journey. So the past week spent interesting. I was out in LA, Irvine, Newport Beach and San Diego, recording a number of different interviews for the show. One of the things that I've been doing is when I can, I really want to batch and do as many shows in a given window of time so that I don't feel that I have to change every single week around doing a show, the show. Instead, what I've been doing is I'll travel and do a number of shows together. And then I just, I come back home and I record my intro and my wrap up separately. It's just a way for me to be more efficient. But I think it's really helpful when you can approach your

schedule, your calendar as efficiently as possible. But what this has allowed me to do is to get some amazing face-to-face interviews, which to me are critical, and connect with some fantastic people that I can't wait for you to meet on the show. But it's also helping me, and that I know the TED Talk is going to be coming out in the next couple of weeks. I don't know exactly when I want to build press up around it. I want to support the talk so that the idea where spreading gets out there.

And I need to make myself available for that. Now, I don't know if that means I need two weeks, four weeks, six weeks, or 12 weeks to support that. weeks, six weeks or 12 weeks to support that. But I've created a safety net in the plan so that my podcast, the show is supported. It's done. I've literally got almost three months of shows done right now, which is kind of crazy. But I'm super proud about it because I've really banged out a lot of work on this. I've met with some amazing people face-to-face, had great connections, amazing conversations, and I'm super excited to share them with you. Two of the shows that I recorded last week, one of which you're going to hear today, and I'm freaking out about it because I love it,

but the second one was all about relationships, and I was teetering back and forth which one to share with you today, but and I'm going to tell you why I chose this. I decided to delay the one about relationships to next week. And the reason why is next week is going into holiday, Thanksgiving, a lot of people going home. I'm going back to where I grew up. And for me, I know that holidays can trigger sadness if you're alone. Sometimes sadness when you're in a relationship if things aren't going great or the way you think they should be going. You know, so to me, holidays can be such an amazing experience. My kid is like over the moon.

We're watching Christmas movies already at night together on Netflix. We saw the funniest one last night. But for other people, it can be challenging and for myself included, you know, there's definitely moments of major joy with my son around the holidays, but there's definitely moments of sadness and loneliness and and you know, expectations and failing to have the expectations I wanted. So I'm excited to share this show with you next week about relationships. It's kind of a different topic.

I don't usually get into very much, if not ever. But I think you're really gonna like that show. But for this week, you know, I'm introducing you to someone I'm a huge fan of and to give you a little background on this, I'll just tell you who it is, but I've got Dave Meltzer on the show today and he's such a phenomenal guy.

I was connected yet again through my amazing friend, Scott McGregor, who connects me to so many fantastic people. He had met Dave and actually Dave was a contributing author and standing O, Encore. And I believe he was an on core, not the original. And anyhow, he connected us, we hit it off immediately, and Dave's team is so phenomenal. I hit it off with everyone on his team.

The first time I went to their office was back in October or September. And we had decided I was going to interview him for my show and he was going to interview me for his show, The Playbook, which is a huge huge really successful show. He was running late that day and we had to make a GTV game time decision and I just said, Dave, listen, let's do one show well. Instead of trying to pack two shows in and, you know, be frantic, I'll come back. No problem. I come to LA all the time. He's actually in Irvine, which is south of LA,

but I said, it's not a problem I can make it work. So that day, we recorded me for his show, the playbook, because they were set up to do that. Now fast forward, my show had not come live yet, and I was back in his office last week with his team who I absolutely adore. They're the best guys, such cool guys. And I started asking, guys, what's up?

Why hasn't my episode dropped yet on the playbook? And it was so easy to have that casual conversation when you're face to face with someone versus had I started pinging them with emails. Guys, when will this episode go live? You know, this and that. What I found was, when I thought this was interesting, one of his lead teammates said to me,

hey, Heather, you're talking to the wrong guy, I'm not the one that handles the playbook, I handle his schedule, so you need to be talking to so and so. So I was redirected to the right person, which essentially fixed the problem. And I think these guys had just forgotten that we had had the recording done. They were so panicked and behind that day that sometimes things get lost in the shuffle. I totally know how that goes. And that's why I really recommend to everyone follow back up whenever you can follow face to face. It's much easier and more casual like it was for us that day.

I got to ping the next day. Hey, Heather, we're going to go and put the episode live, November 30th, I believe. So it was handled seamlessly, it was not hard, it was not like some big sales pitch I had to make, it was just reminding them that we had that content and we had forgot to publish it. Now I was there to record Dave now for my show, which was so cool. And he got emotional on the show, which made me emotional, because I am a big cry baby when I see other people Really, you know, sharing their vulnerability and pain which he does in this episode And I really appreciated I heard stories about his life and his father. I wasn't previously aware of So I think you're really going to

appreciate the insight and and candor he provides for us Hopefully that you can see, you know, this man has built himself Lost it all rebuild himself and now really has a sustainable foundation that he centers around gratitude and giving to others And I can just tell you firsthand It's real. I mean these guys have been amazing to me so much so that his right hand man was sitting outside with me. I was waiting for Uber to pick me up to go do another show. And we were just, you know, having a conversation and talking about my next book.

And he started helping me with, you know, the tagline for my next book and ideas for my next book. And, and I was sharing with him what I had created. And he was saying, that's good. But what about pivoting here or there? And, you know, just brainstorming with me, which is super helpful when you can be around like-minded, high-energy people that are interested in your success

and want to help you. And they just start throwing ideas out there. For me, I thrive in environments like that because I can start opening my mind to different ways of seeing it, which was super helpful, and helped me to change the idea, or actually the name of my book, so I'm super excited about that. And then he was pinging me all weekend DM on Instagram, hey, hey, a few more ideas. And then he also, he said something funny to me.

He said, hey Heather, we should connect you to the agent that did Dave's new book. He said, you know, he got a really great deal on this. And I said, well, you know, I'm not Dave Meltzer. And I don't have five New York Times bestselling books. And I'm not in the new movie, the secret. And he said, whoa, why are you putting all this negativity out there and giving all these excuses as why you can't do what Dave does? And it was so funny because here I am, I'm always preaching this to everyone else, but as soon as I was running at the next level with someone who's ahead of me, I started putting myself down and didn't realize I was doing it,

and my friend Jeremy pointed it out to me, and I was super grateful because he's right, why would I put that out there? Heck no, if Dave can do it, I can too. And why wouldn't this agent want to talk to me and want to hear my ideas and see the value in me that I know is there? And so I'm super grateful and appreciative to him for opening my eyes to that, helping me to see I'm ready to go to that next level. Even if I don't feel ready yet,

that's absolutely the time to push yourself to go. So hoping that you are pushing yourself today to go to that next level and surrounding yourself with people with positive energy that are putting good out into the world because when you're with those people, you're gonna do the same and you're gonna rise to heights that you just can't even imagine.

And I'm so grateful for these conversations that I had this past week in LA and Irvine and I'm so grateful to extend my network to include these amazing people. And I hope that you're going to love Dave and his team as much as I do. So let me kick it over to them now. Getting out of the rut and staying creative is easier said than done, especially when you have a busy schedule. Maybe you want to get back into an old passion or learn something new, we all know that feeling it's so amazing when you engage with that.

You can expand your creative fire if you fire up Skillshare, and I just did. Skillshare, it's an online learning community for the creator and all of us. And yes, we are all creators. I didn't know that back when I was in corporate America, but I definitely know it now. They have thousands of classes, photography, creative writing, design, productivity, anything you can think of. The classes are on demand, so you can learn at your own pace when you have time. Get inspired, join a class, and create something that you will love. So I don't know if you guys saw last week Gary Vaynerchuk put out this huge deck on LinkedIn, Instagram, Twitter, all about how to create content, and how important it is to create content.

One of the things I realized when I went through his deck and I think it's really valuable and it's free. So check it out if you can, just go to his page is the importance of editing video. And I do not have a video editor yet, although that's going to be my next hire. So one of the things that I thought to myself was, hang on, I can access Skillshare, I can go to the video editing courses that they have and I can teach myself how to do basic video editing So now I have a bridge plan until I've got enough revenue in to make my next employee higher So Skillshare not only can stir your creativity and get you to re-engage with a different side of your brain that you haven't been using, but it can also be applied to your business and it can help you fix and fill some holes where you have deficits.

It definitely did for me because video editing was out of my grasp. I didn't know how to do it, but after taking a quick class on Skillshare it was one hour. I've got the basic sound and I just bumped out some great video that I'm super excited about. So definitely check it out. Join the millions of students already learning on Skillshare and get two months for free when you sign up at Skillshare.com slash confidence. That's two months of unlimited access to thousands of classes for free. Not just video editing. Get started today by heading to Skillshare.com slash confidence to sign up. That's Skillshare.com slash confidence to sign up.

That's Skillshare.com slash confidence. Hi and welcome back. I'm fanning out. I'm so excited to be introducing to my guest today, David Meltzer, serial entrepreneur, three times New York Times best selling author, CEO of Sports One Marketing, and host of the Amazing Podcast with the Playbook. Thanks for being here, David. Oh my gosh, I'm so excited. I've waited for this.

I had such a good time interviewing you. And you were one of those women I met. I'm like, oh my gosh, I wish I had a younger brother. And I wish it was you. That wasn't Mary. Yeah, that's a key component. And I wish that was a marry. Yeah, that's a key component. Yeah, but you're amazing. So I'm so excited to get on here.

And I wanted to start because I have like this huge reveal for you. We were talking earlier. I know. And you won't tell me. I'm gonna tell you. So we, I took you down, I trace calligraphy. And I have, I have cookie things that I do, spiritual things that I do. And I always tell people, here's the rule.

One, there can't be risk. Like I won't do something that I do, and I always tell people, here's the rule. One, there can't be risk. Like, I won't do something like in a, you know, Mexico city where they're like, cut off your head and you'll go to another life or whatever, to risk you for me. But I trace calligraphies. I believe they're down those. I have one for abundance and financial wealth and one at home for family. They're six feet.

So I taught you how to trace these and down there. And for people that don't know what that means You took me downstairs in your office and you this beautiful wall art that I didn't realize was actual Calligraphy that someone a spiritual person he created for you. Yeah, master and Dr. Shaw Which is pretty amazing and you take your finger and run it along the actual Caligraphy a number of different times in a row. Yeah, and it's a download, or I believe. So when it has no risk, it doesn't really cost anything, and it works in my life. Those are the three components.

I figured out a new one that everyone can do that has really changed my life. So we're 80% water. And I believe in drinking a lot of water over 100 ounces a day. Water is the biggest conductor of electricity, but also of intention. When you speak to water, if you've ever seen

like the movie Blinker, whatever, you could talk negatively to water plants, which are almost all water, and it will literally turn brown or plants will die. You same thing with positive. You talk positively to water, you can clear it up, same with plants, they'll grow. So I decided that all the water that I drink,

that I'm gonna put my intention for whatever it is is into the water, drink it into my body and hold that intention at a, I believe at an electronic level, like truly at an energetic level, I'm putting energy into the water in my thoughts, a high vibrating energy, drinking it into myself, holding it all day. So I'll say this is going to be a great interviewer this is going to be a great meeting or it doesn't cost anything It's totally and I can't tell you I almost get a feeling now while I'm drinking that it's done Like whatever I'm saying that the pieces come over me if there's a certain situation life is happening with three teenage daughters in a wifer Whatever and I completely reverse the energy or intention of what's going on in my life simply by drinking down a new thought or a new idea and I would highly suggest people try it out

It doesn't cost anything. It's not gonna hurt you and it has extraordinary results for me So you just speak what you want to come to fruition to the water. We're gonna drink it or think it. Yeah, I mean I'm going all in I'm saying this is gonna be a great interview that's right all right my most down-to-one interview yet sorry you're out of here that yeah Gary take that my boy so that's amazing and I like the fact that what you're qualifying here is there's no risk involved you're not suggesting people do crazy woo-hoo things or expensive things I think risk is monetary I think a lot of people get ripped off over hope and belief and faith that's unnecessary and Find things that truly work for you and experiment with all the free stuff out there that you can do that may have significant impact on your life And why not and this all came up because I mentioned to you

I saw the secret a year ago. I was not Someone who believed in the I didn't know, I didn't understand the ability to manifest. I had never heard conceptually about that. So for me, I was just exposed to this a year ago and I thought there's nothing I can lose here by writing down what I'd like to manifest and then taking it to the next level and then trace it and then speak it into existence. And all learning about opening your mind to learn about all these things has a domino

effect. Wouldn't you agree that you start finding yourself having contact with other people who are masters in this or experts in this? Well, that's because there's a math medical formula to this that I try to break things down to a really simplistic level. So what we pay attention to, and then we give it intention, creates the coincidences in our lives, and coinciding is a mathematical term to me. It's not an accident. It's two things that are perfectly coming together at a perfect time, the right way at a perfect

time. So I'm very cognizant of what I pay attention to and the intention I give it so that I get the coincidences that I want in my life. And it really works as a mathematical equation. I make it a consistent, persistent practice to pay attention to the right things. Now, here's where it takes another level for me is, I thought about faith.

You know, like, I'm gonna put faith in this. And that got really confusing because I aggregated what I think, say, do and believe. And I even started looking at the unconscious competencies, my genetics of personality traits, characteristics, obsessions, and addictions and how all these things were my faith. No religious context at all.

Then I met a guy who wrote atomic habits, James Clear and he talked about voting and I started saying, faith is like voting. I'm just gonna vote for what I want. And the biggest mistakes in my life, I've always voting for what other people want for me. And then I'm pissed off when I get it. And I'm resentful when I get it.

And I'm just very hard now. I know what I'm voting for, and I know it's going to be elected into my life. And so I keep voting for what I want. And if my mind tells me something that I don't want, I don't vote for it. And I see so many people voting for what they don't want. And then really upset or resentful or offended when they get it or even surprised. And so I think all of these things combined together

combined to voting is what I'm paying attention to. The intention is the action, right? So it's not just paying attention and saying, I want this or thinking about it. It's actually, get off your butt. Don't sit at home, how your mom's couch sick. Do something about it. Be efficient, effective, productive, and accessible. We were

talking earlier, I heard you, Dave, doesn't like busy. No, I hate busy. Busy means inaccessible. I'm active. I have activity. I get paid for activity. I don't get paid for. I'm productive and accessible. I provide value and I'm accessible to what I want and accessible to others. So how do you get to that place? Because I know you weren't this way your whole entire life. That's for sure. Right?

You went through some very hard times to get here. What are some of the things that you can point to that the listeners can take away so they can implement for theirself? That is great, because I was lost. Even though I made a lot of money at a young age, I was a millionaire. A lot of money.

A lot of money. A lot of dollars in your 20s. Lost, yeah. But I was lost. Even though I made a lot of money at a young to whatever I was doing and my wife was and my mom were the leaders in telling me how I lost and they were the biggest recipients of all my money which is really ironic right and which I think causes problems in relationships but I started to find these needs that I had that weren't humble needs that were creating interference or corrosion to my happiness or to that which inspired me to me Accelerating and growing because that's what inspiration does do us when we're inspired we accelerate and grow we expand So I started looking at my number one. I had a huge need to be right and I started looking a lot of people up there and I wasted so much time, emotion, energy, and money

on trying to be right. And then I had a need to be offended. And then I had a need to be superior. Then I had a need to be inferior. Then I had a need to be separate. And all together, I started identifying. I had a need to be afraid. I didn't need to be angry, frustrated.

I get choked up. I literally started looking at myself and stopping I didn't need to be angry, frustrated. I get choked up. I literally started looking at myself and stopping and saying, you're not happy why. And I started practicing ending fear or this ego-based conscious. I just started practicing it and saying, how long is it going to take me? I'm pissed off right now over nothing. How long is it going to take me to feel good again?

And instead of trying to move through being angry or scared or resentful or offended or right, I would say, okay, I feel this way, how long is it going to take me to get back to over here where I feel good? This is a waste of time, energy, emotion, and resources and money. And I wasted more time, motion, resource, and money emotion and resources and money. And I wasted more time, emotion, resource and money over the ego based stuff. And so I actually help people get back to center quickly. And I use the stop drop and roll philosophy that anytime my mind, body or soul or all three are on fire, I stop. I drop down to center to breathe. I'll take the six breast of Buddha, there's a variety of things you could do. And then I roll just like if I was on fire, I rolling the trajectory I want to go in. Not the one that caused me to get in

these awful fights with the people that I love the most. I look back in the first 10 years of my marriage. I don't know why my wife is still with me. National security experts are warning. Our aging power grid is more vulnerable than ever. January marked a third time a power station North Carolina was damaged by gunfire. Authorities are saying the attack raises a new level of threat. Authorities are now checking our grid for vulnerabilities. They've identified nine key substations.

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Thank you. Thank you. Yeah, but I literally, I'm like, what a moron. Like I wasted this woman is extraordinary. And I was looking and putting faith or voting for the things I didn't like in her. And I got more of those. And then I exacerbated the situation

by focusing in, paying my attention, and putting intention into what I didn't want from her. And that's what I was getting. And all of a sudden I started making the shift. And now we went out, uh, Teddy Melon Camp and Eddie, they're friends, but they, they're married in those first 10 years. And you know, my wife said, Oh,

Dave and I probably have argued twice in the last 10 years. And she lit up. She's like, wow. Can you teach Ed? I'm like, well, first of all, tell me how many times we argued in the first 10 years, like twice a day. That's how much I was ego driven. I'm like, well, first of all, tell them how many times we argued in the first 10 years, you're like, twice a day. That's how much I was ego-driven.

I would hold on to things and focus in on the wrong things. Now, I find the light and everything, and I try to understand things, I forgive it, and I pray for its happiness. What was the pivot moment for you? Was it going bankrupt? Was it mentally something that happened? That's awesome, because most people think it was the bankruptcy which is not it at all. There's three things that I looking back realize made a major shift for me.

The first was when my dad gave me a birthday present when I was 30. My dad forgot my birthday when I was 10. He was my hero. He left my mom when he was 5. One of the biggest things I'm still processing guilt-wise is I would sit in the back of a station wagon which my mom packed me a dinner with five of my siblings and was working a second job after she was teaching to fill up greeting cards at the 7-Eleven and I was in the back seat at 5-6-7 calling my mom a loser asking her why she wasn't more like my dad and my dad was a rich deadbeat dad who married a girl closer to my age than his and my mom never said a word. You gave me choking up because I sit there going oh my gosh so when

I was 10 he forgot my birthday I got pissed off because he lied to me and said he didn't believe in birthdays and I until I was 30 didn't get a present from him and he finally gave me a gift a jacket with no pockets and I got pissed off and called him and said, what is this? He goes to jacket. I go, what's it for? He goes to remind you that you're just like me. And I'm like, what an asshole.

Like I'm just like you. He goes, yeah, you're an overseller, back in the cellar, a lot in a manipulator, just like me. Oh my God. And I was like, I'm none of those things. I'm a good husband. I'm a good father. I'm nothing like you. You know, I'm none of those things. I'm a good husband. I'm a good father. I'm nothing like you. You know, I'm rich. I go, I'm successful. And he goes, no, he goes, you're just like me and I don't want you.

I want you to hang this jacket to remind yourself you can't take anything with you. I don't want you to be the richest man in the cemetery. You're lost. I was like, so mad. I hated him. Ironically today, I say, I hate my death for all the things I hated about myself. Then the second thing that happened was my, in the fourth grade, my best friend, Robbie. He asked my wife in sixth grade camp to go study. And he asked her in front of everybody goes, well, you go study with Dave Meltzer, he said, no, she said no, tell him to ask me himself. This is the lady I'm married. So I threw you to A-gatherer. That's how long I've been friends with Robbie. But two weeks before another event, my friend

Robbie and I went golfing and I asked him why don't you hang out with me. And he said, because I don't like who you hang out with. And I said to him real quickly, hey man, I'm not doing what those other guys are doing. We can hang out. I'm still the same person and he said you can lie to me, but don't lie to yourself. That really killed me. And then two weeks later, as one my wife, I came home, wasted, drunk, my wife threatened to leave me,

told me that I was lost, that I better take stock in who I was and what I wanted to become. The next morning, went into my room, figuring out how I was gonna get divorced, how pissed I was, the need to be right, the need to be offended. I literally went through a list of,

how could she do this to me with all I've given her? And then it just hit me. All three of those things went through my mind. My dad was right, I'm sorry. My wife was absolutely right. My best friend was right. And I said, it just came to me and I got really depressed. I lied in bed. I remember going, how did I screw it? And this was two years before I lost everything. I said it myself up for some great failures from being an ego maniac.

But I literally lie there depressed going, I've ruined my life. Like how could I be this foolish? Like I literally, so I started outlining and then I remember Rocky coming on the TV and he was getting beat up and he just kept getting up and that's when I decided I'm like, if I can look up, I can get up. And I got up and I apologized to my wife and I gave her a list of four things

that I was gonna live by from then on. Gratitude, forgiveness, accountability, and I was going to live an inspired life again. I was going to be the guy that could do anything when they told me I couldn't play college football, they told you know, whatever it was, I was the can-do person, right? The try-me guy, not the why-me guy, the try-me guy. And so I told her if she'd give me another chance that I would live this way. And sure enough, I, from that day, you know, took me and all of a sudden I watched the secret, right? No, I was so resistant to all this stuff. And I met this lady that taught me to meditate in India. And then I started meeting all the people from the secret.

And then all these things happened. I end up being in the place that I am in this amazing, the scariest part, every people ask me, two years when I went bankrupt, two years after that, I worked for Least Weinberg, the most notable sports agent, I was making money, but I was in a rented house, rented furniture, my wife was pregnant with her four child, three girls under 10, terrified my wife, I was not terrified at all. She kept saying, this was the recession too. Yeah, yeah, 2008. So my wife kept saying, you're not worried, that worries me. She said, are you okay? I said, yeah, I'm fine. I got my check. I wrote a check and said, is this okay? I'm going to give this to Warren Moon, my business partners charity for kids to go to college at risk kids. I said, because I could have gone to college if someone didn't pay for me. And she looked at me and sort of

crying, said, wow, you finally get it. And I was like, you're okay with this? She goes, yeah, I'm okay with that. She goes, you finally trust the universe. I was like, yeah, I really get it. I do. And she goes, then double it. That's my look. Oh my god. I literally told her. That's scary. I said, I go, I don't trust the universe that much. I literally said that to her. I said, I'll give this. And it's important because every time I give and still today,

I fight scarcity, right? I fight fear. I still sometimes I write checks to charity. And I think to myself, I have four children, two of them in college, they got to go to graduate school, get married. I have a retirement. I have all these things of the community I wanna do. Should I be doing this today? And then I remember lying in bed, gratitude.

And bam, abundance comes over. I get choked up people like, dude, doesn't work unless you cry. I'm like, no, I'm just emotionally connected. I truly live this way. I live this way and I avoid. If I get fearful, I go back to center and I get connected to that emotion that you saw, of that's the truth. The truth vibrates the fastest. And I'm okay with people thinking I'm vulnerable

or whatever, I'm not. I'm just connected to what I think people need to learn to get out of their own way and experience this unbelievable overwhelming feeling of giving. Why can't vulnerability be a positive thing though? I think that is a wonderful thing. Yeah, I think my vulnerability makes me invulnerable.

Exactly. That's really where your power lies. Yeah, it's a super power. And it's just being truthful. My life changed when I started illuminating who I truly am and stopped trying to pretend who I'm not. Boom. That is so true.

And it takes for so many people myself included so long because you're trying to fall the advice others are giving you the direction they're telling you. You're not going to succeed if you act like that. If you dress like that, if you look like that and the more you try to mold yourself into what they're telling you, the less successful you become. Yeah. You're voting for the wrong things, right? Right. That's exactly it.

Now, you talk about abundance, you talk about lack and scarcity. I think that you have three different ones. How do you lay those out? So there's three worlds that I think exist. The first is the world of not enough, and tons of people live in the world of not enough. Even if they have a lot of things, there's never enough. And that's extremely scarce world. It's competitive.

It's filled with boy shortages and obstacles. When there's not enough, that's exactly what you're going to get. I have friends in Newport Beach that have extraordinary homes that are worth more than cities in the Midwest. And they're always talking about it don't have enough. You know, they're looking for the next plane. They're looking and they're not happy. Then there's the world which is confusing of just enough and a lot of positive Optimists can live there philanthropists can live there where there's just enough of everything, you know, I'm happy I've just enough and I really don't think that's a healthy place to be at all because There's a world that I live in that is more than things happening to me as a victim in the world of not enough

Happening for me in the world of not enough, happening for me in the world of just enough. There's a world of things happening through me of more than enough in a abundant world where everything comes through me. My duty is appreciation, meaning I'm supposed to add value to everything that I get and then give it away. And then that expands me so I can get more. I'm one of the biggest capitalists. I've made more money since I went bankrupt,

being a capitalist, but I'm driven to make a ton of money to help other people and have fun. Nothing is for me. Like, it's all through me. I have a complete predetermined distribution system from my wife, to my kids, to my mom, to my other relatives, to my local community mom to my other relatives to my local community, to my state, to my country, and even the world. And I take all emotion out of it. I know that my

goals to stay focused, even my savings, I don't risk anything in funky stocks or whatever. I literally put it in an annuities that either make their guaranteed 2% if the market crashes or I get the upside of the market if it does well, but it's guaranteed annuities, right? It's a savings because I want to spend a hundred percent of my time just focusing on receiving because receiving is giving to me Every single dollar everything that I receive I have a plan and intent that is going to go help somebody and that's Inspiring to me and that's the world of abundance of more than enough. And my goal in life is the impact of thousand people like you that I know can impact a thousand people

to impact another thousand to be happy. Because if I can impact a thousand times, a thousand and a million, a million times, a thousand is a billion in my lifetime. Or the next 60 years or so, if I can impact over a billion people to be happy, the whole world would live in abundance. There would be so much of everything you won't even believe what that collective consciousness or belief would create in the world. And I truly am living that.

I don't believe it. Like, I live that. I live the way that works. You can see that happen from the effect that you have on people and the connection that you have with people. You just brought up an interesting point receiving versus just giving and I've heard you make some great points on this that everyone wants to give but not everyone is capable or thinks are capable of receiving. Why is that? Judgment and conditions, we feel as if when we receive, we're someone has put judgments or conditions on what we've done because most people don't give unconditionally. You notice all my emails always say unconditionally.

It's because I've tried to separate judgments and conditions from my life that are receiving and giving our one and that I want people to feel comfortable receiving that they're worthy of everything. My biggest problem when I lost everything wasn't giving. I gave with conditions. I gave my money and my mom because I wanted to be the favorite child. I gave my money to the community because I wanted't giving. I gave with conditions. I gave my money, my mom, because I wanted to be the favorite child. I gave my money to the community, because I wanted my name. I wanted people to say how generous I was.

All of those different things. Now, I do it unconditionally. I don't want to trade anymore. I just want to give, and I want other people to receive and get the blessing. When you give and receive, the giver, Saratonin's release, it makes them happy. The receiver, Saratonin giver serotonin's release and makes them happy the receiver Serotonin's released in their mind. It makes them happy but the most powerful thing about giving and receiving anyone that witnesses giving and receiving

Serotonin is released whether it's on TV the internet a movie if you witness giving People are happy from witnessing it. I didn't realize there's no greater thing that you can do than create the flow that I'm talking about. This energetic flow and don't forget, money is the object of energy. It's a currency that goes into the current or the flow. The more you have, the more you little tracked in that. The same is this faith or voting. The green card gets you so much gold card platinum, black card from Amazon. Same thing with faith or voting. The green card gets you so much gold card platinum, black card from Amazon.

Same thing with faith or voting. If you have black card faith, that's a abundance. You just have green card faith. You're not going to get a lot out of the universe. The same as Amazon. So one of the things that's really unique about you that I feel coming into your office is your energy. How do you describe to people how you've affected or changed or honed your energy and put it to work for you? Yeah, I think the whole office has a different energy and I think it's the biggest compliment that we get here is I love the energy in this place. Well, I believe everything is connected and there's two sources of energy that we have to focus

in on. And the first is the one that most people don't understand. It's that we are like a lamp. We're plugged into the biggest source of energy. That's why in your pinky you could light up all of Los Angeles for an entire day. That's so much energy you have just in your pinky. That's because you're connected to an unbelievable source of light energy, this unbelievable vibration. And so my first focus is what's corroding or interfering with that connection. And I know that by the temperature of my feelings, why do I feel scared? Why do I feel angry? Why do I feel tired? And so I'm very conscious about if there is an interference or corrosion or I don't feel

that I'm getting enough suck from that huge energetic source, then I'm going to fix that first. And then I worry about the appreciation process of that energy coming through me Me adding value to it and then which is difficult all these different connections that we have in here with the five people in the studio right now I want I called it holding the energy. I want to make sure that I'm sincere and authentic about my own frequency the strength of my signal the spectrum of my signal, the spectrum of my signal, and the clarity of my signal. So that when you and I are in an interview, that we truly feel connected.

It's an emotional connection. I'm channeling a lot of these ideas through me, but they're going through you as well. And it's a different interview than even with like Gary who's one of our friends, right? But it's different. Mine is an emotional connection that I truly am honed in on. I'm really motivated and inspired by this and it's coming through me and I can feel the connection between you and I in an emotional level and the content will hopefully carry the signal,

the spectrum, and the clarity to all the listeners as well. Do you see that ability to connect with others as one of your strong suits? Yeah, and I think it's a practice skill, the people buy on emotion for logical reasons that we have to, there's five steps to learning that. One is credibility, the higher your credibility, people ignore credibility.

The higher credibility that you have, the more people will connect to you easily. Meaning that if I had 100% credibility, I could ask you anything and you would say, yes, the second is the emotional connection. We got to find this common connection. We have to energetically connect to someone and we have to ask questions or talk or get somebody to feel. And I know it when I get choked up, that not only am I connected here, which is us trying to articulate, but I also could feel your eyes getting watered

up that I was getting. Of course, because it's heartbreaking. It's known that you're feeling that pain and that and remembering that and touching you. It was touching you. Right. It was touching you. Then the easy part where most people try to make the connection, it's quantifying reasons,

impacts, describing the features and benefits of the capabilities. And then that's where people get lost. They start at the bottom, right? And if you lose sales as an example of connecting, people always start on the features and benefits, the majority of them. If they would start with credibility to be able to connect to somebody, then the emotional connection, then describe statistically, efficiently, you would get a shared vision

and be able to expand and accelerate that vision. Whatever it is, it could be selling, but it also could be the, get your kid to eat his peas. But isn't, that's a great point that you bring up. Getting your kid to eat their peas is selling. Terrific, yeah. I mean, light and... It's really tough sale, by the way.

It's a very tough sale to get them to do it consistently. However, don't you see that one thing that I learned from leaving corporate America, becoming an author and doing these different things? My sales expertise is what made me good at books because there's great authors out there. They don't have to sell books. Oh yeah. So it doesn't matter what you're doing in life to hone that five step process that you just detailed.

I hope everyone really picks up on it. That's for everyone to learn. So if you want to go out to dinner with your husband tonight, you need to sell him on why it's a great idea. And if you're not approaching it that way, it's not a negative. It's like what you're saying. Be credible. Connect on emotional level. You know, if you really step into that and own that power, it will take you to such stronger, greater places in your life. Yeah, you know that. I try to get out of the selling some of born salesperson like you. So I love talking about sharing a vision, right? Stimulate interest, transition interest, share a vision, and if we're able to share

that vision, then it's our responsibility to manage and develop the vision, to actually execute on what we're doing with value. And if you do that, everything in your life will thrive. You'll create ambassadors in your life, all those closest to your relativity, to the farthest relativity. I'm always trying to coach people and live my life to have ambassadors.

I don't like followers. I want someone that will impact other people with what I teach them, and that's an ambassador. And all you need, you know, I came up with this, I was Gary, I'd tell people, you know what, millennials or young people, you guys are thinking two years, six years, I'm thinking 20 years, 60 years. And when I say that, if you do the math, if you can get two ambassadors a year, people that will impact two people themselves every year, that will impact two people by ten, well. By just five years, you'd have 64 ambassadors.

In 10 years, you'd have 2000. In 15 years, you'd have 64,000. In 20 years, you'd have two million ambassadors. You know, impactful you are with two million ambassadors. You're like Gary V. Lever of an impact. And yet, most young people are on the two to six year plan. I'm on the 20 to six year plan. So when I take the time to sit down with you, I know that you're going to leave here as an ambassador. Someone that's going to impact people with

the knowledge that I've shared with you in order to manage and develop that. So it thrives. You're going for the rest of your life. There'll be one or two tidbits. You might even go back and listen to this that you start impacting people. And then someone 10 years from now, like, oh my God, you changed my life. That was amazing. That's what I look for. And I think time is a variable that young people have to look at. Stop looking at things in two to six years.

Look at it in 20 to 60, because you're going to live to 110. But I hear you saying that, and I'm putting myself in there shoes, because I've been there. I remember when you've been there, too, right? A different life in our life. That was worse. For sure. And it's a tough position to be in. When I remember those moments, so it was because the struggle was so real and so hard.

It felt too overwhelming to look that far ahead. Does that make sense? Yeah. And too, you don't have the situation. It's easy for an old guy to say, look 20 or 60 years when you've already worked for 25 years. Right, I totally get that. And the only things that we can do though, and why I teach this so much even to young people,

is I know that when they're ready, I've planted a seed. And some of the 22 year olds, the seed will water today, some at 32, some at 42, and some at 52, but I feel a responsibility or a duty or because my vision is to impact so many people to plant those seeds and everyone that I have, because whether it's Dave Boucher, you or a coach or a teacher or a preacher, whoever it is later on in life, when they're ready, the plant will grow just like bamboo. You should know

what that means already. That's the best kind of notification. That's the sound of another sale on Shopify, and the moment another business dream becomes a reality. Shopify is a commerce platform revolutionizing millions of businesses worldwide. Whether you're selling books or courses, Shopify is simplifies selling online and in person so you can focus on successfully growing your business. Shopify covers every sales channel

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All lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash monahen to take your business to the next level today. Shopify.com slash monahen. Say you have a business idea but you're not sure what to do next. Don't go into debt spending four plus years on a degree. Listen to the Millionaire University podcast. Learn how to run a successful business and graduate rich, not broke. Trust me, you need to check out this podcast. The Millionaire University podcast is hosted by Justin and Tara Williams, who started their business from square one and now have years of valuable experience. They hit lows and dug themselves out of debt

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New episodes drop every Monday and Thursday. Find the millionaire university on Apple Spotify or wherever you get your podcast. Keep coming back. You got plenty of space. Oof, not how you would have done that. You like working with people you can rely on, like USAAA, who has helped guide the military community

for the past 100 years. USAA get a quote today. This is so well said because I am running through my own mind connecting those dots, the coach that first planted the seeds for me. And then my mentor in business when I first started out, I just start connecting all these different dots to sitting right here today with you, that is literally how it works. Somebody along the way, whether it be someone in your family, a friend, it doesn't matter some type of a mentor or even someone you follow on social media, those dots will connect. You just need to allow for that time to transpire.

One of the most significant lessons I've learned in my life was when my dad planted a seed when I was 30 years old that didn't take root until I was 38. Right? Until I eat the jacket I was 38, right? Until I... The jacket? The jacket, right? I planted a seed and at the time I didn't see it at all. I was so against him, I thought it was an insult.

I thought that he was manipulative. He was an overseller, a back-end seller in the life. He was. And yet he was emitting it to me, but I couldn't admit that I was. That I carried that quantum memory, that I carried that genetic trait, that was in me and that I was going to stop the chain, the genetic chain of that obsessive behavior, that different behavior. I was going to stop that, and he was trying to plant the seed,

but I at 30 years old with all that money and everything on my side, the mightest touch, I had no capability of watering that seat or letting it grow until I was 38. Did you keep the jacket? Yeah. It's gotten me buried in the jacket. You so the jacket still hangs today is that it reminds you every day. I kept it even when he told me and I hated them. There's something that told me not to throw it away. And at first I thought I'd burn it and I just kept it. Even when we lost our house, when in the storage was one of the first thing I looked for, because it almost everything I owned when in the storage could be at this tiny rent house with renter furniture,

instead of the rancher saying, hey, hey, home, that was one of the first things I looked for. That and I have an all-star jersey from Gene Tennis. I like the juxtaposed thing. Yeah. How did you end up or did you end up forgiving your father? Oh, I did for sure. So through the process of the gratitude accountability, forgiveness, and inspiration,

I learned about people that I had to be around, that either bleed me or I had resistance with. And I learned the lesson of one understanding. So all the challenging relationships of my life, I set forth on understanding the relationship, not trying to change a Seven-year-old man. I wanted to understand him and learn lessons from him and then finally To forgive him and to pray for his happiness. And once I did that my dad and I became closer and closer Past away the day after father's day two years ago at eight years old. He, uh, most people, for me, that's really young in my family, but the man lived on three packs of cigarettes and candy. So it's an extraordinary health miracle that he lived that long.

You really ended up so not like him because I know how committed you are to your health. You're eating, you're working out. I mean, all of this. Yeah, and, but I was on the path to end up just like him. But you chose to change it. And that's what really hit me from the story when your wife put you against the wall and said, okay, I can't do this anymore. And you thought about it, you came out saying, here's what I'm going to do. No one was making you do it, you decided you wanted to do it. Yeah, something came through me.

People talk about being saved, you know, and I try to keep things out of a religious context because it separates us, and I don't want to do that to the listeners. But for me, something came through me at that time because I was really angry and lost, and it just hit me. And those four things came through me like the 10 commandments. You know, I wrote those things down, and I still, this office has the energy. My books have it. It's those four things.

Anybody ask me, I make quick decisions because they're just based off of gratitude, forgiveness, accountability, and inspiration. I literally am very hardcore on those values and I believe in making a lot of money to help a lot of people and have a lot of fun. Everything's simplified to me in mathematical. I love how you reframe the idea of making a lot of money because so many people and I felt this way You know, they look down on you. Yeah, why do you want material things or why are you doing this and it's such a better way to Embrace it embrace abundance embrace that you're bringing value to the world and it's just an exchange of value

But you're also going to bring more goodness forward when you're supported to do it. And there's lessons in every, there's lessons in buying a Ferrari. Now, I owned a Ferrari for the wrong reasons, but there's lessons in owning a Ferrari. So I, even to self-absorbed monetary things, I look at it in a different way to learn the lessons and to make it a profit. It's a little different than most people, but I actually, if I'm going to buy something I look for, some sort of lesson experience or profitability that can come from it. So I look at things which automobile, which food I eat, there's just a different perspective that I have, and I make sure that I have enough not only for me, but for everyone else as well.

That's so beautiful. All right, you can't get off this show without answering one question. Sure. When in your life have you struggled the most with your confidence? Still with my children. So, I mean, I practice ending fear. But the one fear, I just, you know, I walk outside and my 17-year-old's daughter's car is not there, or, you know, they're on prom or the nine-year-old's playing in the street or whatever it is, you know, the only thing that I truly, you know, I'm dealing with that, that way is my, my children. I will continue to practice ending. I just am emotionally attached so much to their well-being and feel responsible for them. So.

That's such a real and I relate to it with the 12-year-old son so much that watching them go through these hardships and changes and challenges that we know they're facing. Oh, yeah. Heart, but I'm going to do things that you did. You know, my son was a playtackle football and I'm like stuck, right? If mine too, it ends up, you know, it's so interesting about confidence building is that my son had never played. He went to middle school and came home.

I'd like to play tackle football. And immediately I said, no. And he asked me to open my mind to the idea of trying to learn something new. I ended up letting him do it. He ended up really striving so hard for something that he was a complete rookie and and had great camaraderie, a great experience. He came out of that season more confident than I've ever seen him because he's stepped right into that fear and went for it. And it was such a great learning lesson for me more than for him. That's beautiful. It's a beautiful world. David Meltzer, because of you. So thanks for making me an ambassador of you, because I am.

Well, vice versa. And anytime anything I can do for you, let me know. Oh, I appreciate it so much. Thanks for being here. Hang tight will be right back. Thank you. Have you ever gotten into a rut? I know that I have gotten into many ruts, but one that I've shared with you is when I

threw my back out, you know, I wasn't able to run any longer. Well, that was until I found the anti-gravity machine at rehab, which completely opened my mind to the potential that there is always hope for anything. You just never know what you don't know. So that was an amazing moment. But ever since I threw my back out two years ago, a little over two years ago now, I've been very consistent with just spinning

or stretching or doing bar class instead of running because I had this awful experience. The pain was debilitating. But I'm so excited. I mean, there are game changers out there that we're not aware of, but one that I want you to be made aware of because it's a game changer for me is there a gun. It's an easy to use handheld device. It helps relieve tension and increases blood flow. And you can do this at home on your couch. My 12-year-old does it every single night.

He plays basketball, gets really sore, and I will be making him dinner. He's sitting on the couch, and he's got the Thera Gun out, and he's working on his legs. So Thera Gun is therapy unlike any massage device you've ever tried. It's designed by a chiropractor.

It's therapeutic, and it's for all body types. It does not hurt, and it can treat every part of your body The triangle design allows you to grip it multiple ways so you don't have to strain to target a hard-to-reach area It also weighs about three pounds So it's very easy to pick up and use again my 12 year old does it if you're an athlete a mom a business professional a Fitness enthusiast or a person who experiences pain, each TheraGun provides a natural approach to improving your wellness and health. I'm telling you, my whole body is relaxed and I'm feeling pain free even after tough workouts and I have begun running again only because I feel so confident I can come back home, I

can use the TheraGun and really allow my legs to feel so much better, so much more relaxed because that's where my back pain has really come from. It releases tension, enhances muscle repair and reduces any post workout soreness. So if you're looking to accelerate recovery, activate muscles, improve muscle coordination and really body energizing, enhancing your performance and avoiding injury, you've got to check it out now www.theragon.com slash confidence. You get two free attachments with a purchase. Again, www.theragon.com slash confidence, you are worth it.

The biggest and best investment you should be making is in you. I'm so grateful that I did. So I hope you loved meeting Dave as much as I love hanging with him. That was my second time there with him and his team. And I have to tell you, I I just I have the greatest sense of positive energy being amongst like-minded people People encouraging me cheering me on and truly just supporting me so it's such a great feeling I'm such a fan of him and his team

Equally, they're just the best and I'm so excited. He and his wife are going to come to my army for the Super Bowl. So thank goodness my army is holding the Super Bowl down this year because we're going to have so many amazing tourists coming in and guess that week. So I'm super excited for it. But before we get to answering your questions, I want to remind you that Pluto TV is the leading free streaming television service. You can watch over 100 TV channels and thousands of movies on demand holiday movies, and they're completely for free. Pluto TV never asks for a credit card.

You don't even need to sign up to watch for free. Pluto TV is the easy and completely legal way for you to watch your favorite TV shows and hit movies for free. What are you waiting for? Never pay for TV again by downloading Pluto TV. You can download Pluto TV for free on all of your favorite devices today, including your phone, Roku, Amazon Fire TV, Apple TV, Smart TV, PlayStation, and anywhere else you stream. Wow, it's a lot of TV. Okay, so I have a lot of inquiries or questions

that came into me in the past week. So I want to jump into a couple of them. And actually a couple of them were about speaking in work and I think it's kind of interesting. So I'm going to, this is a DM that came into me off LinkedIn. Hey, how's there? One of the leaders in my organization who has believed in me since day one.

I love that. Bought your book and even stayed at a conference you were speaking at for you to sign it for me. Funny enough, the day before she heard you speak, we had lunch and she told me the only thing holding me back from rising to the top is my confidence. Ever since reading your book, I cannot tell you how connected I feel to you. You have been so much of an inspiration and motivated me to be a better version of myself.

Oh my gosh, I love that. I've always been extremely afraid of public speaking. I've been in sales for two years, and I'll tell you much like yourself, I've thrived in every way possible, yet nobody can understand, because to my peers, I come off as outspoken and confident however, like you mentioned throughout your book, on the inside,

I'm actually really the opposite, and this is so true because people, oh, this is sidebar right now, my entire career people thought I was so confident, but I really, I really wasn't. I was, I really struggled inside, and a lot of my book is about that. Okay, so I've been approached multiple times to speak, and the long story short is, I keep putting it off by saying I'm not ready. So that's an easy way to deflect when you're not feeling really confident. Here's the bottom line.

If you're not taking risks, if you're not stepping into fear, you are not growing. And I need you guys to be growing with me, either grow with me or people are gonna outgrow you. Take some chances for so long I didn't and I just see what I've done in the last two years on my own every day I step into fear. Every time I turn the mic on, you know, every time I jump on a stage, every time I do something different,

it's all about growth and I feel so proud of myself all the time and that's what builds confidence. Staying stuff and protecting yourself and coming up with excuses is the the time. And that's what builds confidence. Staying stuff and protecting yourself and coming up with excuses is the antithesis. And that's how you chip away your confidence. Okay, let's get back to her. As I prepare, oh, so, anyway, she ended up agreeing to do a speech. Thanks to your book and podcast last week,

I decided to take the leap of faith. I agreed to present in front of my entire team and even though it scares me, I couldn't be more proud of myself for committing. Yes, that's totally the answer. As I prepare, I continue to listen to your podcast over and over where you talk about your tech talk and how important it was for you to leave notes

around your house, which I did. My son thought I was crazy. I remind myself daily that even if I don't blow away the audience, I will still be proud that I faced my fear and that is 100% correct. So I remember, and I know I've mentioned this to you already, the day of my TED Talk, I was in panic mode, and I said to myself right before I took the stage, Heather,

if you don't walk out here right now, you will never forgive yourself. If you walk out there and you blow it, I will be so proud of you for taking that red dot, just take it. And that was the last thing I said to myself and the rest is history. And PS, by the way, the TED talk,

I was told is everything is uploaded and will definitely be out by the first week of December. It will be live. I'm super excited to see it. I'm freaking out. And I'm definitely all over press, trying to make sure I can get any press possible picking up the story telling the story of my TED Talk and spreading that idea we're sharing I hope you love it and I can't wait to hear your feedback

Okay, so for my friend that submitted the question on the DM and asked she asked basically are there any tips? You can give me for speaking So I did an entire episode on this with Kendra Hall, who's one of the biggest speakers in the US right now. She's killing the game. So definitely check out that episode. If you haven't heard it yet, again, it's on my podcast, Kendra Hall's the guest. And it's a great episode just talking about the, you know, how to handle speaking and how to be more confident you're speaking. But the reality is this, lower the expectations on yourself. If you are able to reach one person with your speech and connect with them, you've done

your job, right? Practice obviously pays, utilizing story to engage the audience on the front end. It's really important how I dress and how I position myself that day, listening to the playlist that fires me up, that reminds me how powerful I am, looking at different instances in my career where I thought I was gonna fail, but I succeeded. All of those steps and actions that I take before I speak

before I do something big, they put me in the right mindset. I visualize going to that place, take yourself physically to where you're going to speak, see yourself killing it in your mind. Sometimes scent works, I use lavender the day of my TED Talk, totally got me centered and calm. I always write notes on the bottom of my shoes for my TED Talk, I wrote, I can, I will TED X 50 million views. Let's go. So, you know, babe, Ruth it, put it out there, you're going to kill it.

And at the end of the day, if you don't, you took the flipping stage. You got in the arena. I mean, that is the ultimate win. Sitting on the sideline and being the Monday morning quarterback, you know, telling everybody how they could have done it better. No thanks. That's not my people. And, again, you got to start growing and growing means getting in the game. So I'm super excited for this woman to take this stage on Thursday. Okay.

Another question I got. Actually, this was on, I think this was Instagram. Okay, I got a DM on Instagram. Said yesterday I was delivering a workshop for school leaders late in the afternoon, after some had been at work for 10 hours. This was not my choice. I do this often. I'm always confident.

But for some reason this time I wasn't. I was distracted by two comments early on that derailed my confidence. I don't think they knew it, but I was fully aware and I felt like I did not deliver or do a great job. I ran short on time because they delayed the start time. My most valuable component was at the end and we didn't even get to it. Today I was complimented by the client, but I'm having a hard time accepting it.

I was beating myself up over this all night, knowing I could have been better. I offered to go back and finish. I explained that I cared about the team leaving more informed. I mean, this person cares a lot. I also need to leave it on a positive note too, because my reputation depends on this. I'm definitely my own worst critic.

Have you ever experienced something like this? How would you have handled it differently? Okay. Here's the first thing that I set back to this woman. Number one, the client complimented you. Okay. First of all, thank you to the client for giving you the compliment. I love ratings and reviews.

I'm always asking, put those in writing. Can you put that on my LinkedIn wall? Can I share that on my website? You know, so leverage that review. Number one, number two, just because you thought you didn't do a great job, doesn't mean you didn't do a great job, right? So sometimes we are our own worst critics

and we need to accept that when other people feel good about what we did We can thank them for that and be grateful for it and we can learn from situations as we go in the future You'll set expectations differently with a client that you need X amount of time and if people are running late That you'd like the ability to go late right? We'll communicate better and we'll set expectations better on the front end so that we don't need to have these challenges in the moment. As far as having someone derail you with comments, comment, nothing beats this one for me. I was preparing the morning of the TED Talk. We had to go there super early in the morning. I was in my sweats with my eye patches, not feeling my best. And they said, Heather, get on the stage and start doing your talk.

I wasn't prepared for it, but I jumped up and then suddenly five minutes in, I went blank and froze. It's never happened to me in my life. I got off that stage and someone was on the sideline saying to me, oh gosh, that was a nightmare. I had a friend like you who totally choked in an NFL game and missed the field

goal in the most important game of his life. Now that person I don't think was trying to harm me, but that comment sat with me in a very negative way. So what I did was I smiled and I said, this is not helpful for me right now. So I'm going to excuse myself from the situation. And instead of really focusing on that comment that person made to me, instead I jumped in my car, I put my fab playlist on it, fires me up, and I drove myself to be surrounded with two people that fired me up, that loved me, that know me, that encouraged me, and I started practicing. I got in my zone, you know, so I got around the people that I trust, the people that I love, the people that love me and support me.

I got dressed in the clothes that made me feel powerful. I sniffed my lavender. I listened to my music and Brought it together and it wasn't easy, but then again, if success was easy, everyone would have it, right? So it's about having that mental warfare to say, okay, I'm getting attacked or I feel like I'm getting attacked. And I'm in a weak moment. How can I turn this around? Now, maybe the comments that this woman got were happening while she was on stage. I don't know, but I also know this.

People, when they come from a place of negativity, that's about them, right? It's not about you. And people could be feeling jealous, people could be struggling in their own personal life with battles. We know nothing about. So I try to be open-minded about that and have empathy for them instead of, you know, taking it inward. But the bottom line with this woman who wrote me this note is this, how's it working out for you beating yourself up? Does that help you?

Does that motivate you? Probably not, right? And I know this because I went to therapy forever in college and in my 20s and into my 30s. And my therapist used to say the same things to me. I was my own worst enemy and I would beat myself up all the time. Why did you do this?

You should have done better. I can't believe you blew it. That was my tape. I would run in my mind. Now I've rewritten that tape and if you read my book, confidence creator, I teach all about it how I did this, but I did it with repetition, frequency, clarity, and being very direct on how I wanted that tape to run. So now it runs on automatic pilot that, great job. Well, it wasn't perfect, but nobody is perfect. And you are shining your light.

And I'm proud of you. And for me, that works out so much better than beating myself up. And it works out well for my son too. I remind him all the time. Hey, nobody's perfect. No one flies in here and kills it every day. We all make mistakes, and that's how we learn and grow.

I applaud and embrace the mistakes, because I'm human. and I want you to know I'm human because anyone who says they're perfect, those are the people we need to run from. So instead of being our number one villain, let's start loving ourselves, encouraging ourselves, and reminding ourselves that we've all got flaws, the more we rock them and step into them, the better and stronger we become. So thank you for being with me yet again this week. I love that you're here. Please, if you could please leave me a review when you rate and review my show, send me a DM, a screenshot of the review and I buy you my $299 confidence video course as a big thank you because reviews really help so much when you share my show tag me online tag me on social I will reshare your

post because we need to get the message out there when everyone has confidence this world is such a better place can't wait to see you next week thank you At a time when change is constant and we are pulled in far too many directions, we need a way to stay present to life and to increase our ability to remain calm, think clearly, and maintain our well-being. Many studies indicate mindfulness improves our mental, emotional, and physical health. On a mindful moment with Teresa McKee, you can learn how to practice mindfulness and enjoy its many benefits. Tune in for guided meditations and to hear tips and advice from some of the most respected experts in the fields of mental health

and mindfulness. The world truly can be a better place. It all starts with a mindful moment.