Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - Find PEACE In Life With Heather! Episode 330

Episode Date: June 14, 2023

Attend Heather’s Sales & Confidence Masterclass June 24th & 25th! https://heathermonahan.com/sales-confidence-masterclass/ In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Powerful tools for reflection   How to give yourself & others GRACE   What it takes to keep pushing forward  10 tips for getting what you want!  Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/monahan So take the next step to earning 7 figures with your business… listen to The Millionaire University Podcast! Go to 4Patriots.com and use code CONFIDENCE to get 10% off.  Just go to fixswollenfeet.com/confidence to get 58% OFF NativePath Antarctic Krill. Show Notes:  You never know what someone else is going through! That’s why it’s always nice to take the time to check in with friends and reflect on ourselves as well. I felt so inspired this week I wanted to read you Chapter 28, Just Ask, from my first book Confidence Creator. Since what is meant for you, will always find you, go after your goals and find peace in moving forward instead of dwelling in the past! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So you're winding down with the podcast. Sounds like you have no plans to leave the couch tonight. Nope, you just want to unzip your jeans, slip on a pair of fuzzy slippers, and rip open a bag of skinny pop popcorn. Because the only place you're going tonight is the bottom of this journey with me. Each week when you join me, you're going to chase down our goals. If you're come at a diversity,

it's at you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close time. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back with me this week. Okay, so whenever I see a pattern or something comes up a number of times, I feel like I've got to tell you, right? This is my higher self saying my peeps need this. Okay, so two things. I had a couple of different people say the exact same thing to me in regards to basically with my son, I'll go over every day, like, you know, what's your peak in your pit,

you're high in your low, like what went well and what didn't today, trying to, you know, get conversation started with a teenager. Hello, do you feel me? Okay, it always works really well. And it also is just a good gratitude practice for me, as well as it gives me different perspective, whatever I think didn't go well, and then my son will give me feedback, which is always helpful,

right? Like when you're asking the right people, if you're around people that support you and love you and encourage you, it's super helpful. So two different people brought up to me this concept of the rose, the bud, and the thorn. And what is the challenge that you're currently facing, right? And so I love this. And my one friend is doing it as part of dinner every night with our family. And another friend was just saying that she's making it a practice in her life. And I just wanted to share that with you. I think that's something that whether you do it at dinner, a conversation with your kids

or your friends or at work, it's a cool way to get to know people better, to understand what challenge they are dealing with. So often we have no clue what people are dealing with. I just left a friend of mine who is dealing with so much. I mean, death of a very good friend, real serious issues, like major issues. And if you saw this woman on the street, you would never know. You never know what someone else is dealing with. And so when we do know, we can give grace,

we can have empathy. And I try, I'm sure you tried to, it's just a reminder that when someone lashes out, acts out, hurt people, hurt people. And all we can try to do is have empathy But when someone lashes out, acts out, hurt people, hurt people. And all we can try to do is have empathy for them, understanding, and grace for them. Because let me tell you, I've been there. I'm sure you've been there too, right?

When things are hitting the fan in a bad way, I remember when I got fired. I was not thinking clearly. I was not acting like myself, right? I was losing it. Panicking. And when you're in that moment, people don't know why you're behaving in a weird way. They might think you're a jerk or, you know, try to give people grace. And anyway, this game or this tactic is a cool way to open up a conversation and find out what actually is going on in someone's life and allow you to be a friend there to help an ear to listen a

support system a Champion a cheerleader. It's a cool concept that has worked well with me and my child and I want to use it with more of me and my peeps and I hope you do too National security experts are warning our aging power grid is more vulnerable than ever. January marked a third time a power station North Carolina was damaged by gunfire. Authorities are saying the attack raises a new level of threat. Authorities are now checking our grid for vulnerabilities.

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So a year ago, they were reminding me, I had not moved to my new place. I was still living in South Beach in the condo. I had owned for 17 years. And I knew I was getting close to selling it. And so I was sharing with them that I was obsessed with this one place I wanted to move to. And I had to live there.

And I was literally sitting outside of the building. Like I was in love. I had heart eyeballs for this Kondo. I wanted to live there so bad. And I thought I could just force it. Wait, I knew I could force it. I thought like I'm just going to envision myself being there. I'm visualizing it happening.

I'm going to visit it. I'm going to see me. This is my new life. This is happening. I was so sure of it. The word the gentleman used was conviction. He said, Heather, you had this conviction around it. It was crazy.

He's like, so did you move there? You must have, right? I said, no, I didn't. They looked to each other and they were both shocked. They're like, you had such strong conviction and certainty. We thought for sure that that was happening. So in actuality, it did not happen, right? And this is so interesting. I don't know if you remember I did share it on the podcast, but I, I had the conviction, my sale on my condo was delayed, and I kept my conviction until one day, I got news from my Reelder,

that unit was off the market and someone signed a deal, and it was gone. And I couldn't, I didn't even have a shot at it because we were still, I don't even know, I'm one third, two months away from closing, and so it was just off the table, it was gone. And I was devastated. However, this is like, when am I going to learn? Do you ever feel like that? Hello, when am I ever

going to learn on this stuff? Okay. The next thing I know, my Realtor sets up a bunch of appointments. The first few were terrible because at that time, the market in Miami was impossible. There was nothing on the market. It was all so expensive. You couldn't get in anywhere. People were fighting over stuff. It was bad timing in summer guards. It's great. I love where I live. But so we go look at all these places that I never thought I would ever live in. I didn't like the area because I had never pictured myself living there.

Like all the negativity that I could muster because I didn't get what I wanted. Have you ever felt that way? Like all the negativity that I could muster because I didn't get what I wanted. Have you ever felt that way? So I look at my realtor, I'm like, ah, buddy, I don't know. And I love this guy. I just, this is awful. This is a washout.

What are we gonna do? I, you know, Dylan had school starting soon. It was really starting to stress me out. So he said, well, we have one more left today. Let's just go for the one more. Let's try to be positive. And let's stress me out. So we said, well, we have one more left today. Let's just go for the one more. Let's try to be positive and let's check it out. And I had never heard of the place, okay, let's go. I can't imagine myself living in this location.

We pulled up and I fell in love. And it was, I never knew it existed. It was not on my radar. It is so much better than what I had wanted. I had all this conviction for something. This is what was meant for us. It was the right time, the right place, the right everything. And I didn't even know it existed.

So ultimately, what it tells me is this, the best is yet to come. Even in those moments, you have conviction and you think you lost. Maybe you really won. So so interesting is that conversation goes to they say, well, we need to share something with you. Thank you for telling us that story, which is ultimately it was God's plan, not my plan. Something so much greater than he led me to something so much greater for me if you're willing to let go of what you didn't get. Let go of the conviction, let go of the upset.

And I'm so grateful that it worked out the way it did. Blessing. Didn't know it at the time though. Don't forget, I was very, very upset for a while. Okay, cut to right dinner. They say, well, thanks for sharing the story. We want to tell you what's going on with us. We've been, I mean, these poor people,

real estate in Miami's been crazy, but they had been trying to buy a place, and then they have another place under construction, and then they fell in love with a place, and they were going to go get this place, and then it turned into a bidding war, and then they had conviction around it, like I did. This has to be ours. So they started a bidding war, and it got crazy. And obviously, a bidding war where you're just throwing money after money and you're not a billionaire, why are you gonna do that? Like that, no, that's not good.

And ultimately they decided to bow out even though they were very, very upset. And I was so glad they were sitting with me so I could remind them, yeah, but I get it. That wasn't what was meant for you. That's not what's best for you. There's something else out there better for you. You just haven't found it yet. You have to have that faith and that trust to move forward and let go and let those other people who just paid an obnoxious amount of money for something. They're not going to recoup it and it's not worth it. Okay. Gift that you didn't have to. So keep it moving. What a blessing. We're so lucky and we move on.

So so interesting. These people go to my church and there's various locations that my church operates in but it's always the same message and same sermon and when I got out of church today I immediately text them I said oh my gosh did you see the message was for you? It was for me too I mean it's for all of us but it was a story from the Bible of hanging on to something that wasn't meant for you, grieving for it, being upset about it, disturbed about it, angry about it, not letting go, having too much conviction about it, wanting to control, regretting that

it didn't work, and instead God says, you weren't rejected. You didn't lose. I, God, forced that close, because I have something better for you. And when you trust that and move forward in faith, not in sight, everything works out as intended. And it's such a beautiful message, so timely for my friends, so timely for me. And hopefully timely for you, instead of seeing it as I was fired for my old job and rejected for my old job,

now I look back, God rejected them for me on my behalf because he had something so much bigger and better for me. I just didn't know it at the time. You can't connect the dots, looking forward, you can only connect them looking back. So choose to have faith, know that God is at work in your life and closing the doors and rejecting those that you've moved on beyond, that there's,

that aren't good enough for you, that aren't the right fit for you, that you have outgrown and know that God has such a bigger and better plan for you if you keep moving forward in the face with your Realtor. Like I did. But that goes for relationships, jobs, homes, like so many different teams, friends, right? Maybe you weren't rejected.

Maybe God rejected them on your behalf because God can see things that you can't have faith. Move forward with peace. Get excited because the best is yet to come. So I was so grateful for that message today. It really resonated with me. I wanted to share it with you and I hope it is meaningful to you today.

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I was the VP of Sales of a company, the EVP. I was promoted to Chief Revenue Officer. During my tenure at that company, more than double the company's revenue. I mean, this is my jam, sales and sales leadership. It's all I've ever done. Cut to I get fired at the end of 2017. I had to lead the industry. I was an expert in for 18 months, because I had a non-compete, which would hold up in court I was told by every lawyer I spoke to. So I have to start over. So I started over as an author at first. Right? I wrote my first book, Confidence Creator.

What's so interesting is right after I wrote that book, when you Googled me, I used to show up as a business executive. Now when you Googled me, I showed up as an author. And so it was like that whole life of 20, whatever, five years was wiped out overnight by one change, one book, Confidence Creator. And what's interesting is now so many people, because of social media, will know me as an author,

a podcast host, a board member, a speaker, these new things that I've done since the end of 2017. However, I have 25 years of business expertise in sales and sales leadership. That's what I thought I was always meant to do. I was really, really good at it. Now, of course, I still incorporate all of that into my life and everyday. First of all, everybody is in sales. Whether you realize it or not, you are in sales. I'm here to awaken you to that. In every exchange, someone is sold. You're either going to sell your husband on taking you out to dinner tonight or he's

going to sell you on making him dinner tonight. Like, who do you want to close the deal? And that's just not about husbands and wives. That's like, your kid doesn't want to get out of bed in the morning. You're going to sell them on getting up or they're going to sell you on why they should get 10 more minutes of sleep. In every exchange, someone is sold. And so the more you embrace that and just become aware of it and accepting of it, then you've got to open your mind to, I want to get better at selling then, because if I can get better at selling, I can make my life easier. I am all about finding the easy button in life, right?

Life should just be a moment of joy and fun and keeping things easy and simple and enjoyable. And that's my goal in life. I hope that's your goal too, right? How can we live our best lives and do good in the world and have a lot of joy while doing it? So, to that end, I've been asked many times if I would... I taught a class at Harvard, two sem, 2020 and 2021 and sales and sales leadership. And I've been asked many times if I would teach again, a course, but open it up to the public. And I really, it's so funny, it's so weird.

Things might be obvious to people on the outside, but when you're living the life, it's not obvious. It was like me launching my mastermind because my friend told me to do it first, to launch a speaker in confidence mastermind, never even crossed my mind. But now that I've done it, I'm so grateful I did. And I've got so many amazing people in this mastermind

and it's a community for a year, encouraging each other, and going to the next level, and doing big, amazing things, and bringing positive messaging to life. And I'm so excited and happy about it. So I've been asked many times if I would teach around sales and confidence. And I just always thought, well, you know, I created my podcast for that. I create my books for that.

I do my speeches for that. But why don't I do a class? So anyhow, I've been asked enough times that finally I'm getting the message. And so I am holding a master class on sales and confidence and that master class is June 24th and June 25th from 1 to 4 p.m. It's all live. We are gonna do Q and A.

We are gonna do exercises. I am going to teach. I'm gonna speak. It is gonna be really powerful. And if you, well, first of all, as I said, everyone's in sales. So this is for everyone, in my opinion, if you need to work on your sales, tax and techniques, answer confidence. This is a class for you. If you know someone that has more potential

within them, that isn't reaching their goals, that isn't showing up as their most confident self, that needs to fine tune their sales skills, they need to sign them up because there are limited seats available and I can promise you this, it's gonna be epic. So I'm super excited about it. I love what I do, I love sharing what I learned over 25 years and packaging up and giving it to people because these are the things I wish I had

when I was a younger girl and I was out for a walk with a friend of mine earlier today and we were talking about, gosh, I wish we were both 48. And we were like, I wish we had the knowledge we have at 48 when we were 28. And I started laughing. I said, but literally that's why I create the books and the posts and the podcasts and the speeches. That's why I create everything is to hopefully give that knowledge to other people. And I really believe this master class on sales and confidence is a really targeted, concise, powerful event that so many people are gonna benefit from.

So if you or someone you know can benefit from fine-tuning your sales skills, your approach, and upping your confidence, which I don't know who can't benefit from that, grab your ticket, link is in the show notes below, limited seats available. I don't know when I'll do this again. It's June 24th and 25th. I'm super excited to do it, one to four PM.

It's alive. We're gonna do live Q and A. Like, I am answering your questions. I'm sending you up for success. I wish someone had done this when I was younger. They didn't, but I'm grateful I have the opportunity to now. This episode is brought to you by Snapple. Want to taste the flavoriest flavors to ever flavor?

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I love my books. If you haven't read my books or listen to them unaudible yet, can you please go get them? They're incredible. Literally, I get so many messages about my books. It's, I'm so grateful for that. I love the feedback, by the way. So if you can leave a review on the show,

I would so appreciate it. If you can send me a DM and let me know what adds value for you, let me know. And if you have questions that you want me to answer, DM me that too. I would love to hear from you. I want to help you. what adds value for you. Let me know. And if you have questions that you want me to answer, DM me that too. I would love to hear from you. I want to help you. I want to support you and I want to empower you and I'm here for you. So please let me know share the show with somebody that you think can use it. Leave a review. Send me a DM. I'm here for all of it. And I appreciate you. Okay, chapter 28 and confidence creator, my first book.

Okay, chapter 28 and confidence creator, my first book, just ask. In order to get what you want, sometimes all you have to do is ask, that's it. Some situations require a little bit of fineness, but it all comes down to how you ask. Recently I was at Adolphin's game with my girlfriend and she wanted a plastic cup for her husband, but plastic cups are apparently held hostage at certain stadiums. We were at one of those stadiums because she asked very nicely and was still denied the cup. She came to me and asked that I work my magic. That makes me laugh.

Working my magic means that I would go up to the counter and convince someone to give me a cup. Whenever you find yourself in a situation where it's difficult to ask for what you want, try to remember these 10 basic rules. Have courage. You will only ever get what you want when you have the courage to ask for it. This is true in the stadium and it's true in life. Why not ask for what you want? This is for you. If you don't, someone else will. You'll be bummed out. They got the plastic cup, and you did not. Number two, stay confident. Get your mind right before you act. Sometimes that's the channeling

Beyonce's Sasha Fierce. I convinced myself that nothing will knock me down before I do it. I get on point. I've got this. I hype myself up. Do whatever you need to do to get your mind right. Listen to music that fires you up. Do whatever you need to do to get your mind right. Listen to music that fires you up. Think of a time you achieve something beyond your dreams. Grab onto that feeling and use it as motivation that this too will work. Smile. Never underestimate the power of a friendly smile.

When you approach a stranger with a big smile, it's hard not to smile back. You've also opened the door for a conversation. Number four, consider your approach. When you walk up to someone, you don't know, you have to be friendly, you have to be authentic. For me, that means being upbeat and optimistic. For you, it might mean cracking a joke or giving a compliment. Be yourself, put your best foot forward, and make a quick, honest connection. Number five, give off a good vibe.

The vibe you put out is usually the vibe you'll get back. When you stand tall, smile, and are open to meeting others, you are more likely to get that same attitude back in return. Make it clear that you are there to be positive, and you are asking for help. Six, prepare yourself to be uncomfortable. There is a brief period after you ask for what you want when you have to wait for the response. That is when things can get uncomfortable.

It's so easy to walk away or doubt yourself, power through it, smile and don't say a word. Let things play out before you respond. She who speaks first after the ask loses. Number seven, be relentless. Relentlessness doesn't have to be negative. Once someone answers with a reason why here, she can't give me what I want.

I say something like, I know you can do this. Come on, I'm sure there's a way you can make this happen. Oftentimes people are so surprised by this that they quickly give me what I ask for. You just want to make sure that you remain positive and friendly the entire time. Number eight, do not accept a no. If you have truly tried everything

and you keep getting turned down, then you need to kick it up to the next level. I would suggest saying, I know that you can't make this happen, but is there someone who can? Is your boss able to do this? Is he or she here? Number nine, be ready to pivot.

Conversations can take a turn at any moment. You need to be ready to laugh or ultimately meet with a manager who might be annoyed that you called them over. Be ready for anything and try to have fun with it. 10. Practice makes perfect. If you practice these steps over time, you'll become an Ask Ninja.

You will become the person your friends turn to when they need a plastic cup at the football game. You'll have nothing to lose. The most important thing to remember is that you didn't have the cup when you started. So it's not the end of the world if you don't get it now. Just be careful what you ask for. Okay, so that's a quick chapter. And my first book, Confidence Creator, which I love.

My gosh, you haven't checked it out yet. You're gonna love the audible because you are already riding with me. Like, hello, you're gonna love it. Okay, so this masterclass is about sales, this masterclass is about confidence and this masterclass is about selling yourself and moving yourself forward to market with confidence.

If you know someone that needs a little confidence boost and needs to fine tune their sales skills or their approach or how they're marketing and positioning themselves, this is the master class for them. For sure. So I only have limited seats available. I do not know what I'm going to hold this again.

I have this weekend that I'm going to be in town for it and I thought it would be a great opportunity to do this. I'm big into trying new things and moving forward. Yes, I've taught classes before. As I mentioned, I taught two semesters in 2020 and 2021. Definitely liked it. But this is the first time I'm holding my own. So I'm super excited. I'd love to have you there. If this is not a fit for you because you're already an ask Ninja, you're already a confidence killer, then this isn't for you. And please share it with someone that it could help. Because I promise you this, I'm going all in,

I'm sharing all my secrets, and I wanna elevate every single person that's there. I'm gonna answer all your questions, I'm gonna do a follow up email for 30 days after to ensure that you're holding yourself accountable, reaching your goals and going for more. If you're not living your best life yet, you've got to sign up for this Masterclass. Please click the link and show notes below

and grab a seat before they're all gone. I can't wait to see you there. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. I decided to change that tiny amount of time to my fill out. I couldn't be more excited for what you're getting here. Start learning and growing. This episode is brought to you by the YAP Media Podcast Network. I'm Holla Taha, CEO of the award-winning Digital Media Empire YAP Media, and host of YAP Young & Profiting Podcast, a number one entrepreneurship and self-improvement podcast where you can

listen, learn, and profit. On Young & Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world and I turn their wisdom into actionable advice that you can use in your daily life. Each week we dive into a new topic like the art of side hustles, how to level up your influence and persuasion and goal setting. I interview A-list guests on Young & Profiting. I've got the best guest. Like the world's number one negotiation expert, Chris Voss, Shark, Damon John, serial

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