Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - Finding Your Harmony with Ally Brooke Episode 81

Episode Date: November 17, 2020

"For all those people who feel, especially now that their lives are not going to get better, that hope is lost, take it from someone who felt the same way...that there IS hope. And you can get through to the other side, and you can thrive." Ally Brooke, singer, songwriter, and now author, has faced true darkness in her life. She has struggled and come up against challenges that seem unsurmountable. But she is here today to share how she found the light in the dark and how she found hope in the devastation. She is here with a message that it does get better. And she encourages us all to find our voice and conquer our fears. About the Guest: Ally Brooke grew up in San Antonio, Texas. Following her time in Fifth Harmony, the multiplatinum singer-songwriter kicked off her highly anticipated solo career in 2019 with back-to-back Top 40 charting singles and an impressive resume of genre-bending collaborations. A life-long entertainer, Ally competed on ABC’s Dancing With The Stars before embarking on her debut headline Time To Shine Tour in early 2020 with scheduled stops including a sold out show at New York’s Gramercy Theatre. She also appears in numerous Nickelodeon shows including Blues Clues and You, and the recent Emmy-winning “Casagrandes” where she sings the theme song and plays “Alissa.” With total career streams already in the billions, Ally is only just getting started.  Finding Ally Brooke: Visit her website: allybrooke.com   Instagram & Twitter: @AllyBrooke See her Youtube channel Check out her music on Spotify Read her book: Finding Your Harmony: Dream Big, Have Faith, and Achieve More Than You Can Imagine Listen to her audiobook To inquire about my coaching program opportunity visit https://mentorship.heathermonahan.com/  Review this podcast on Apple Podcast using this LINK and when you DM me the screen shot, I buy you my $299 video course as a thank you!  My book Confidence Creator is available now! get it right HERE If you are looking for more tips you can download my free E-book at my website and thank you! https://heathermonahan.com  *If you'd like to ask a question and be featured during the wrap up segment of Creating Confidence, contact Heather Monahan directly through her website and don’t forget to subscribe to the mailing list so you don’t skip a beat to all things Confidence Creating!   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I'm ready for my close time. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're here with me this week. Okay, so here is the weekly update and the takeaway that is really sticking with me, I wanted to share with you today. So you may remember, and if you don't remember, let me tell you a story. I launched my coaching program at the end of April for a May start. I believe it was June or July when a gentleman sent me a DM on LinkedIn that said, I thought it said something about mentoring, so I sent him a link to my program to sign up.

He signed up, we began working together, very successful man on the board of many companies, CFO of a company, owned some companies, and come to find out as we began to know each other, he shared with me that the note he had sent me actually said that he wanted to mentor me. I read it quickly and just shot back the link to sign up for my program. What I thought was really cool about that was that

he reminded me no matter where you are in your journey you always have the opportunity to learn from someone else as well as teach someone else. So in one moment you can be the mentor in the other moment you can be the mentee and both are equally as valuable and I really appreciated that lesson for a number of reasons, but one is it for a long time, I thought, oh, I'm coming up, I'm climbing the corporate ladder, I should be mentored. Instead of realizing I was mentoring so many people along the way. So take a moment in your life and think of the moments where you're mentoring others, whether you've been realizing it or not, and the moments where you're learning

from and being mentored by others. It happens simultaneously all the time, however many of us put ourselves in one category or the other, which is an epic fail. We're always learning from others as well as sharing our knowledge with others, which puts us on both sides of that fence. So that was a really cool lesson. He taught me, reminded me of when he signed on for my group, even though he had really wanted to coach and mentor me. Well, turns out he does end up coaching and mentoring me,

and I'll share that part of the story with you. So during that month of working together on his goals, his priorities, which we made some major headway on, he ends up getting to know me pretty well. We're meeting a couple times a week and he says, listen, I really like the expertise and experience you have around revenue generation, leading teams, developing teams, acquiring companies, et cetera, et cetera. He said, would you ever consider being on a board? Now, for those of you that don't know, for probably a good three to five years in corporate America, I had pitched myself to be on the board of directors

for the company I was the chief revenue officer for. Why? Because number one, I warranted it. There was no diversity on the board. There was no one with revenue generation, innovation, digital experience, social experience. So I would really add this very strong flavor and unique perspective to the board that could help elevate the company as well as I was a shareholder and I cared tremendously about the performance of our stock. So I had a vested interest. Take it back a few years, I sat on the board of city year Miami,

which is a nonprofit for eight years. So I had prior board experience, I had tremendous experience more than doubling the company's revenue that I work for. So I had, listen, I had the experience, I had the proven product, I had the reputation, all the boxes were checked, right? There wasn't a box that wasn't checked.

However, every time I would pitch myself, I would be told, oh, great idea. Let's see about next year. Hey, hang on to that thought. Great thought. We'll consider it. Oh, hey, I'll bring it up in the next board meeting. And you hear what that is, right?

That's basically blow off, after blow off, after blow off. Now, I take full responsibility for this. I allowed that to go on. I didn't say, hey, pump the brakes. You gave me a blow off twice. Now, it's been two years, and that's not acceptable. I want to know why specifically I'm not getting the nod. Why am I not getting the board seat?

And just so you know, in publicly-traded companies, board seats come with equity. You receive equity in the company every quarter, as well as your paid cash compensation every quarter. So it's a freaking great gig, right? Now again, they're very sought after, but you have to own some special space. Well, most of the people on the board that I was the CRO of, the special space they owned was they grew up with the CEO. They were his age in their 80s.

They went to college with him. He trusted them. That was the space that they owned. The space I owned was revenue generation, innovation, doubling revenues. So I owned a space that wasn't being represented on the board. And that's why I felt so strongly about I

warranted and deserve a position. I waited years to get it. I never got it. Well, come to find out. Listen, we all know why I didn't. The woman that eventually fired me was a CEO's daughter and she was roadblocking me from that opportunity from day one. I started pitching myself. So if you're being blocked from something instead of, you know, continuing to beat your head against a wall, pick your head up and say, am I being roadblocked somewhere? Who do I need to ask to find out what's really going on? So that that way you don't waste your time any longer. Did I warrant a board seat? Absolutely. Was I pitching myself for the wrong one? Yes, I was. Okay, fast forward to now. So I meet

this man. He comes into my mentoring program. We develop a rapport He sees value in me ask if I would consider being nominated to the board of one of the companies He's in the seasweet on of course. I said yes as this was a bigger picture goal of mine So all of this is going on and I'm I'm pretty excited I had to go through a number of interviews in person on Zoom with the existing board, with the founder, with him. You know, it was very intense. There's tremendous amounts of paperwork to fill out, which is crazy that, oh my gosh, took a lot of time. However, we got it all done. Anyhow, my first board meeting was this week, and I was talking to one of my girlfriends

who's known me for a long time, and she said, this was a day before the meeting, she said, oh my gosh, are you nervous your first board meeting is this week? I said, no, I'm not nervous at all. And she said, tell me why and I want to share this with you. So for me coming up in corporate America, I made it to the C-suite when I was younger, people would say, oh my gosh, you know, when you get to that level, it's going to be so much harder, so intimidating. Here's what I learned, and I want to share with you, and don't forget this. It is so much harder being an up and coming account executive than it is being a chief revenue officer of a company. And let me tell you why, when you're a chief revenue officer, you have 20 years experience.

You have a name that is owned. People know you. You've got a huge network. You're making a lot of money. So if you need a babysitter, it's a phone call away. You know, things are much more simple because of the means that you've created, because of the network you've created, because of the funds that you have, the resources you have, the fact that the company supplies you with assistance. they have teams to support you. The higher you get up in different companies, the more support, more revenue, more income you have. Now, the more responsibility you have, but so what?

You have 100 times the resources and support you need. I take it back to being a new account executive. You don't know where you're going. You don't know what you're doing. You don't know the roadmap. You don't know the people, you don't have an established name, you're busting your butt and you're not making a lot of money. That is so much harder. So I constantly remind myself of that now as an entrepreneur with three years in, I'm

still a rookie, I haven't branded my name after 20 years of experience in an industry. I don't have the entire network built out developed in on speed dial. I'm still climbing that mountain. And I want you to remember this, that people will try to intimidate you, because maybe they've pulled the curtain back and they're back there, and they don't want anyone else coming for their spot.

But let me tell you, go for the spot. Go bigger, because the higher up you get, the easier it is. My experience with the board, when I go back to that position in the C-suite in corporate America, I would be the one preparing the reports for the board meeting. I was the one actually executing operations and delivering the strategies and concepts and ideas and implementing and executing and taking responsibility for the end result. I'd prepare these reports, I'd hand them over to the board walking into this meeting, they'd go in and essentially what they do is they Monday morning quarter back you, they talk about

what's going well, what's not going well, what they'd like to see, and that's their feedback, and they move on with their life. They walk out of that room, they go back to whatever job that is their real job and they'll see you next quarter. Once a quarter, they come in. So I knew for me, because I had played the support role, the execution role, the person who's actually making it happen role, I knew I could go in and Monday morning quarter back after anyone, right?

Because people have been doing it to me for years. It's much harder to be the one in the building executing. And if anyone tells you differently, they haven't been on both sides. I've been on both sides and I know. The person that's actually running the show, executing the strategies, dealing with the challenges, driving the revenue, implementing the plan, and dealing with it either working or not, and having to rebound or bounce or change or find solutions, that person's got a tougher job than the board member

that comes in once a quarter to evaluate and comment on that performance. So, with that being said, I'd also been on the nonprofit for eight years and I had some experience being that, you know, once a quarter person that would come in and give feedback and ideas and then we can be a quarter later. So I was set for this meeting, I was not nervous, I was excited for it. However, what it reminded me of, I've never been a part of a tech company before. So anytime you change

industries, you're going to have a unique perspective, but the people that are in that industry are going to have a very different perspective than you will. So one of the things I learned is that in technology development, product development really is the star of the show. I come from a more traditional business where product development wasn't as exciting. We really showcase revenue and driving revenue. So there's nuances you'll learn, but there's also value that you're going to add just because you see things through a different lens and you have the opportunity to learn from other people what works in that industry. Right? So it's a two-way street which is super exciting for me to see.

But I was able to, you know, my focus is revenue, my focus is marketing, my focus is sales and sales development. And that's the lens of which I see everything through, which what was so great about this is the other people on the board have very different, unique specialties, one person's legal, one person's primarily developing one person's innovation and technology, one person is finance. So everyone own their very unique white space. And when you bring all of those different perspectives

together, you get a really holistic plan that has a potential to do incredibly well. So I was really happy to be a part of it. I wasn't nervous for it. It didn't shock me other than it just reminded me every company runs its own way, every company has things that go really well and things that might not go so well.

Every company has an opportunity to get better, but companies only get better when they tap people with different perspectives, different experiences, and different prisms of which they see things through. That's how you start finding ways to grow and get better. And that's why I'm so excited to finally be on the board of a publicly-traded company, something that I had strived for for years, and now something that I reflect on. I was knocking on the wrong door,

the wrong company that was never going to elevate me to that position, appoint me to that position. That was never going to happen. In fact, the tides had already turned on. I was the plan to get me out of there and get me fired. We're already in motion. So grateful for this opportunity. And I want you to remember, just go bigger, go to that next level,

and don't be afraid. I promise you, if anything, you'll have more resources, more support, more money, which takes care of a lot of problems and makes that job a lot easier on you. So don't let you be the one to hold you back. Whole tight, we are gonna be right back. And I can't wait for you to meet my next guest. We look different guests each week. We look all different. All of us create. And welcome back.

I'm so excited to introduce you to a pop superstar. She's an actress, a songwriter, and now she's an author. Ali Brutum, so excited. You're here she's an author. Ali brought them so excited. You're here with me today. Hi, thank you so much. I am so excited. I know we're gonna have a really fun conversation. So thank you for having me.

Okay, so I have to tell you, I read your book in one day, and I am not a... It's not crazy, I'm not a big reader. So I wanted to tell you that you either are a very good writer or you had a great editor. I mean, I don't know what the deal is, but for me, I get really taken by story.

And so you did a great job pulling the reader into the story so much so that you're like, all right, I can't, I can't get off right now at that I can't hear what happens next. Wow, thank you so much. That's like that means the world to me because my story is is everything to me. You know, it's not just about me, but it's about my family. It's about the people who changed my life, who paved the way. It's about my faith and how that's changed me. Thank you. That's crazy. That's a really, really incredible. Thank you so much. Well, I'm so happy that I did a good job

with writing my, picking out all the right stories. Thank you so much. That's, that means everything. So when you were writing, was it one of those things when I wrote my book, I was thinking, what am I doing? Do I even know how to write? Like, should I even be doing this? Did you doubt yourself in that same regard or were you able to leverage your success as a singer to say, okay, I know this will work?

Well, I'm actually a writer, so I know kind of what I want. It just sound like kind of the style, but at first for sure, I was really kind of, I think the hardest thing for me was figuring out what to choose to write because I have so many stories, so much that I've lived through and narrowing down that was really challenging.

It could have easily been like, about three-part book, eight-hundred-a-dage book, but narrowing all that down was so important and took a lot of time. But I did know right away kind of like what I wanted to sound like the style, et cetera, but the hardest part was choosing the stories, you know, because there's just so much that I've lived

and I've seen in so much, so many stories that I have. But yeah, once I kind of came to the conclusion of what I wanted, with the help of course, with like my parents and my, or publishing company, then it was a lot easier having that, you know, those other eyes too. It's funny to hear you say you had so much to choose from because you're only 27 years old.

And that is crazy to me because at 27, I was never thinking, oh, I should be writing a book. A lot of people think, oh, I have a book inside me that I'd like to tell one day and they never do it. So what was that catalyst for you? What, you know, was it someone reaching out to you to say, hey, you need to do a book or did you just finally say, I need to put this in writing?

Well, I knew that I wanted to one day write a book. I knew that I had so many stories in me again, and wanting to share that with the world. You know, everything from me being a premature baby to find the odds to me chasing a dream, and obviously reaching success to, you know, my family, how that shaped me, my identity, my culture, all those things, and of course, my faith.

So I knew one day I wanted to put it to paper, but I had my team around me to really encourage me and to say, hey, you know, I think now is the time. And I was like, wow, okay, if you guys, you know, believe that, then let's do it. And also my parents too, as you see, they're such a, I mean, they're the biggest part of my life and such guiding lights for me. And I get so much advice from them, even now. I'm always going to need my parents advice, mom's advice, as you see, she's brought me to where I am today, both of them. Seeing how much I lived, gosh, I mean, in this entertainment industry, you just grew up so quickly, you see so much.

And that is all what helped me to decide that now was the perfect time. And it ended up being the best time more than I could have even imagined, you know, because right now a lot of people need that hope and that joy in that love. Yeah, the timing was definitely perfect. And you talk about your family throughout the entire book

and what an amazing cornerstone they were for a sense of confidence, security, and believing in you. However, there were times earlier on when you were pretty young, still relatively young, 17, 18, you were off even a little before on your own and you didn't have necessarily the best, most supportive people around you, and that was a really challenging time for you.

Yes, that was so hard. Obviously you read the book and you saw just how close, you know, my parents were. They were basically my managers, my guiding light, never, you know, crazy parent managers, but always parents who looked out for their child and wanted what was best and also had a lot of wisdom. So when X-Factor came along, I had to go by myself

to the next round after I made it to the audition, who camp, I was 19 years old. And that was the first time that I was doing something so big and something know, and something for my career without my parents. And again, doing everything with them, them guiding me, being right there, being that source of comfort was everything. And just to go without them was so, so hard.

I had to go by myself because on the show, when you're a legal adult, you cannot have anybody around, no parents. So that was such a pivotal moment in my life to really transition from a girl to a woman, to a real adult. And in that moment, man, so many things changed and bootcamp, you know, I really relied on my faith and praying throughout the process and my own instincts and wisdom on how to make the right choices on my auditions and stuff in that time. And obviously, calling my parents every second I could, feeling their love from thousands of miles away, you know, they were in San Antonio, the boot camp was in Miami. And then eventually when I made it, in the fifth harmony, and then we made it to live shows, that was very, very hard because I was met

with the harsh reality of the entertainment business is not always kind. And everyone else had their parents because they were not adults yet. And I was by myself. I had a friend for myself. I was met with a lot of opposition. And a lot of people being kind of rude, you know?

When I try to speak up for, you know, something is, well, it was very significant, having more vocal parts. Again, nothing crazy. I'm not saying, give me the whole song. But you had one line in your first big song, you only had one line. Yes.

And you can imagine how humiliating that was, because on Pex factor, that was kind of a theme. I wasn't getting a lot of singing parts. I felt like, man, I had all this training. There's so much I did with my parents. I know I can sing. And I knew that everyone else too, we had the girls who didn't really get the time to sing.

They could do it too, but feeling all of that, and having your chance at success and being part of something amazing was really hard on X-Factor, being stripped right away of my identity, of my voice, both figuratively and literally, you know, was very hard, and I hope that after X-Factor, when we'd have our first single, things would change. But I was met again with a really heartbreaking reality of, oh, you just get one

line on the song, you're very first single, and you can imagine a hard that was in dealing with, you know, my family's emotions, and then also dealing with the public thinking, you know, online are fans again, like, oh, Ali, you know, she's just not very valued, you know? And like, kind of having that narrative on me was really hard as you can imagine, it broke my heart. National Security Experts are warning. Our aging power grid is more vulnerable than ever.

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slash monahan. NetSuite.com slash monahan to get the visibility and control you need to weather any storm. NetSuite.com slash monahan. It definitely rang true during the book that that window of time was a dark time for you where you were losing your voice figuratively that you weren't and you know it's interesting to me alleys that I've never been in the music career I was in the radio business but I was on the business side of it in corporate America it's very similar to what you went through and that coming up went until you

make it right until you're Beyonce or someone you know so well recognized. It's easier than to say excuse me. The song is gonna go like this, but when you're not approving commodity yet, you feel that sense of if I raise my hand, they're gonna say I'm difficult. No one will want to work with me.

If I don't raise my hand, I'm not gonna be sound the way I have the potential to what's the right answer and it's very hard to figure that out. Wow, it's so true. You nailed it perfectly for people who are not an entertainment business. You said it and people who all around this could apply to them is that feeling of losing your power, your control, losing who you are in your career or in your path, it's so hard because it's finding that balance. And, you know, in our situation, we were controlled by the label and managers.

And a whole team around, and there are so many opinions, you do feel that you don't have a voice. And in my case, many times, when I did try to speak up for little things like, oh, can I have my hair a certain way of makeup, where can I wear this outfit? No, you can't. You know, this is not for you. This is for this person. And you know, you got to just stay where you are and being met with talk that was very demeaning, you know, even kindly asking like, hey, can I have a little bit more, you know,

singing parts? What can I do again being so young and trying to be a better part of something, you know, being better represented, being met with people saying stuff like, you should just be grateful that you're here. And talk like that. It makes you feel so small and humiliated. And you question yourself and you start to feel guilty. And you also have a complex of every time I speak up, it's being met with, you know, harshness or with the big no.

There was no sense of understanding on the other side, like, hey, listen, understand, you're feeling this way, just write it out. It was very much the opposite. During that time, you share that you gain some weight, which let me tell you, anytime I go through really bad. I'm right there with you. For me, it's the food or the drink. Like, let's find a way to get through this. And that helps, you know, for difficult times. Never helps in the big picture, but you think in the moment it's helping.

And that actually makes things worse. But did those decisions during that time when things were going really bad were those some of the catalysts that help you say wait I can't I can't keep going like this. This isn't helpful to me that seeing you went back to the hotel room and shut the door and turned your phone up and started drinking after this was after I think you'd already you know gain some weight You were getting haters coming out and you were just hitting your wits end That was so hard. So there was a moment where I was overwhelmed. There was so much that was happening at that time and we were at the height of our career. We were already at the top. We had not one but two smashes

and we were coming soaring off of work from home. And you would think that man, her life is perfect. She is just out loud. Nine, she's untouchable. I can't imagine how she feels. It's actually in some ways, yes, but in most ways, it was so just being in that position of, at that point, as you read, there was so much that was happening,

everything from people being mean to me online, making fun of me, my body, making fun of my dancing, you know, not being validated in the group, losing my identity, executives are being inappropriate with me when I was trying to ask them for help. Things were going on behind the scenes and the group that was very, very, no one could deal with that type of stress and toxic environment. And all these things out up and I was just trying to seek help. I had a really dark moment of going into my hotel room and just drinking myself away

because I wanted to escape reality. It was a very dark place. It wasn't, you know, I'm stressed. Let me have a few drinks. I mean, that's fine. But drinking because you want to numb everything and you want to not feel and you just think these terrible dark thoughts.

And I never thought that before. I never turned anything else or comfort besides my family or my faith or you know food, but this was a very dark moment for me so out of character and I just had enough of all the pressure and the things that were going on. I just want to not be there in that moment. And I just remember the feeling, this overwhelming feeling and just all this darkness and pain and anger. And in that moment, crazily enough,

one of our managers will, he was our toward man at this time, who I became super close with. He became like a component, someone who I could trust and someone who had similar faith as me and views and stuff. He happened to gut feeling know, gut feeling. He knew Ali's not answering her phone. Ali's not responding. She's not like her.

He got a key to my room. He came in. He saw me. I was just completely out of it. And I was in one of my darkest moments. I've ever been in my life. And he was there to rescue me in a way and to speak life into me and truth into me and encouragement and say, Ali, you know, why are you doing this?

And he was there to be a friend to me and to pick me up and to speak face into me, you know, saying stuff like, you know, Ali, I know, you know, things are hard, things are not fair. But God is going to get you through. I promise, just hang on, you know, I know it's hard, but you can do it. And I'm here for you and I'm praying for you. In that moment, I awful, as I felt in this dark place, it was nice to know that I had someone to talk to, you know, and I wasn't all there. You know, I was very enabrated and a fog, and it was really embarrassing because I threw up and it's just awful.

It was really, really, really bad. But in that, I remember just in a way feeling lighter, and having a muster seat of faith and saying, you know, God, I'm angry, I'm unhappy, I'm frustrated, I don't feel, it's darker now, Lord. But I'm gonna choose to trust you, you know, and try to live each day as best as I can. And thank God I didn't have another moment like that. And eventually took a long time, but eventually things got better.

And that's why I chose to share that stories for all those people who feel especially now that their lives are not going to get better. That hope is lost. Take it from someone who felt the same way is that there is hope. And you can get through to the other side and you can thrive and you can really get back to a place where you're happy and you're fulfilled and it may take some time. It took me years, but I held on and knowing that you can hold on.

That's my prayer is through this book is that people can know that there is light and there is hope out there. So I hope that through those stories, someone who felt like me can choose to not give up, finding your harmony really is about hope. And even though you're so young, and I want people to know this,

because a lot of people say, what the 27 year old gonna be able to teach me? But there's two things that I want people to know. It's really important. One is that you've reached super start them and everyone wants to take a step back from that and say, oh, she's pretty. She's a great voice.

Oh, because of this. Oh, she's great parents. No, because once you go through the book and see that EKG of highs and lows and about to give up and then doesn't go. And it is un... I mean, literally starting from the time you're a little kid, whether it be from your career or from your family, death in your

family, illness in your family, car accident, you still don't even have a license from the result of the car accident you went through. And that's what I want people to see, you know, taking off that layers and of, you know, oh, singer or dance good stars with harmony, you know, it was like, no, the human part of me and in our pain, we're all connected and we all have a story and you may not be a singer or you may be a singer, but you can, you know, I hope that through my book, you can learn so much, you know, from, from my, I guess short live so far, I've lived a lot, seen a lot like I keep saying. And I share it lessons from my heart because at the end of the day, guess what, we're all human and we all

experience pain. And I've experienced a lot of that and a lot of joy too. And you get so many fun stories and just awesome moments that you see as well. but that is so important to share that yes, like you said, everything from a car accident to illness in the family, to death, to rejection, to heart rate, to identity issues, body issues, it's all here. And I really genuinely hope that I can help someone out there by sharing my story. Oh, you already have.

I really like the part about when Fifth Harmony breaks up, first it goes to four and then you guys split up and go your own way after six years, which that's, I mean, that's a huge deal. It's essentially like restarting over as a rookie all over again, because now you're on your own and seeing these other girls get picked up by labels and that pressure that you had on you as the more senior, the older out of the whole group. Why has an alley been picked up by labels and that pressure that you had on you as the more senior,

the older out of the whole book. Why hasn't Alie been picked up hearing you tell that story of the nose and not knowing if it was over. That was so hard to read thinking about what you were going through. You kind of see that theme in the book and my story is those almost happening. The threat of all this almost happened or, oh man, this door constant or shutting my face and for someone who's so young and for anybody who's who's lived what I lived, it really take a toll on you and your confidence and your faith.

My faith was tested so many times. And at this point, seeing that pressure of the fans being like, Ali, where's your label? Where's your music? And me internally and privately freaking out. And I had rejections from four different labels that I saw, which was so devastating. And in that moment, you know, will now went from Fifth Harmony Tour Manager to part of my management, which is awesome. And he was there to deliver

that news. I knew something was wrong. I was on my way to a private event in Bentonville, Bentonville. I think that's how you say that, Arkansas. And, you know, I was like, what's hey, what's wrong? I could tell something's wrong. And he wouldn't tell me. He's like, minimum fine. Then finally, I'm like, hey, I know something's wrong. Please tell me. I can take it. And he's like, I'm so sorry, but the labels all passed.

I'll never forget just crumbling on the floor in my hotel room, crying. And just feeling all hope is lost this shock of, oh my gosh, like not even one out of four of the labels said yes, and my other co-manager at the time was so sure that all of them would say yes. There'd be a bidding war, and I, you know, went off of his confidence as far as being excited, you know, and I, again, 12-year-old never got a record label meeting to now.

I got my first record label meeting, therefore, you know, blah, blah, blah. awesome, but meant for me. I can't go to those labels. There's only a handful of labels that you can go to. So, you know, this to me in that moment felt like, oh my gosh, there may be no more doors. I don't know what I'm going to do, feeling that anger and that panic and that agony of God. What is happening? What are you doing? This is always happening to me, but now I really don't know what I'm going to do. Am I ever going to be able to make music again? All this work that my parents and I have done

since I was 12 years old, all the sacrifices and hard work and staying the narrow path, trying to do things the right way and staying in your path while doing it. And this is what happens. It's so devastating. And I just never forget that agony and feeling so alone. That pain just overwhelmed me. I was angry, I was angry at God and crying, but I happened to be singing one song in particular called Jesus Take the Wheel the next day at this event. And I remember just crying the entire night there was a

thunderstorm. I hate thunderstorms and I think I fell asleep in the bath tub because that's where I like to hide when there are thunderstorms. Just cried my eyes out, but I listened to Jesus take the wheel. I carry underwood so many times on repeat. And I literally just surrendered and said, God, please take the I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it.

I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. I'm not sure if I'm going to be able to do it. all my mind on that stage and just like God does even though I was very, very, very sad and low for the next few weeks. God reopened a door and that was to Aladdin slash Atlantic Records with Charles Chavez and I ended up getting signed

a few weeks later and it was extraordinary and that's the theme of my book is not giving up even in the face of adversity even when you feel like it, when you don't want to move on, when you when all hope is completely lost and shattered, God will get you through. And man, he's changed my life and faith is everything and just believing. Those are all the themes in my life that I want to share with some people. I'm so thankful and beyond thankful. I like how you would end those chapters where really seemed, you know, at the lowest moment, you'd say, and, you know, and as I was going through, I had no idea what was about to happen next. And that gives you that epiphany moment that anyone can be in any situation. And if we don't know if we stay on that path,

what could happen next? But if we give up, we're foregoing what could happen next. Mm, exactly. And that's the theme. Again, you don't have to be in the entertainment business. You can be in college, in school, in the job you're in now. You just don't know what's going to happen. And sometimes it's in the job you're in now, you just don't know what's gonna happen. And sometimes it's in the waiting that you learn

the most lessons and you become the strongest. And sometimes we just have to wait it out, even in our pain, in our sadness, in our brokenness. But there's something beautiful waiting on the other side. It could be your answered prayer prayer or it could be an answer to a prayer. You didn't even ask for, but it ends up completely changing your life. It's amazing. We just, we just got to hold on.

I'm proud of you for going on dancing with the stars, because I know you had received some negativity dancing back in fifth harmony. And the haters were really hitting you hard when you had those some negativity dancing back in fifth harmony and the haters were really hitting you hard when you had those low moments. But then when I saw you would pass a couple of times and then this time, this final time, you said, you know what, I'm going to go for it and I was so proud of you for going for it. But that had to be incredibly scary for you. Yes, it was. Oh my gosh, for those who don't know, in Phytarmony, the fans, they, a lot of people made fun of me online

and said, we could stand certain. I couldn't dance. This went on for years. So I had a complex about myself, was super secure. And there was even videos that were made that went viral for the wrong reasons. Obviously, it's a very sensitive subject dancing. So when dancing in the stars comes,

obviously I'm flattered, I'm a huge fan of the show, but I'm super scared. So I passed the first time. And also the first time was not the right timing because I was just starting out my civil career. I needed music and all these other things. They asked another time, year later, and thank God they did.

And again, I was like, my team, they're like, galley, we really think this is awesome for you, could be amazing. And I'm like, no guys, you already know my answer? Nope. And I said that because the root of it all was, I was terrified of going on this show and embarrassing myself

and confirming my worst nightmare, which was I couldn't dance, failing in front of millions of people, literally trying to stop my dancing by judges. But at the same time, I secretly did want to do it because dancing with the stars, again, huge fan, when with Harmony was on it, it was so magical. Oh my gosh. And this is what really helped me

was talking to my friends and also talking to my mom. And you see all this unfold in the book. And my mom's like, mama, I really think for the first time you should do it. You know, we're fans of it. We've been watching it since you were little. And then it could be an awesome challenge for you but most importantly it could really help you with your confidence, my mom,

give you a beautiful experience I've never had. And I was like, oh man, of my mom saying yes, what? Man, that means something because she's usually right. And the first time around, she's like, I don't know if it's hard timing, but this time I was like, dang it, I have to listen. And also several other people in my life were saying the same thing. So I prayed and with faith, I said yes,

and I was super nervous of what the heck lie ahead. I was scared, like, please dear God, don't let me embarrass myself, but it ended up being one of the most special, amazing experiences I've ever had. I learned so much. You'll see it all in detail in the book, but I say in the book that I entered a little cub, and I left the competition, like this fierce lion. And it was so incredible. I love my partner

Sasha. I loved all the contestants. We really did become a family. I made it to the finale third place. And that's what I'm going to show so many people, especially kids, is that, hey, don't be afraid. Go for it. Even if you are afraid choosing to not listen to the negativity or the haters and to go for it. afraid choosing to not listen to the negativity or the haters and to go for it. An amazing experience could be on the other side or greater lessons. So that's hopefully the encouragement that people can see. What if I didn't say yes? My life might have not been the same to where it is today.

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vehicles, as well as strategies aimed to potentially generate income, and much more. To discover how you can add ETFs to your portfolio, visit GlobalXETFs.com. Well, your confidence certainly wouldn't have been, and I'm a firm believer that's stepping into that big fear, stepping into that big scary moment really is what helps you to create the confidence. Your mom was so right. But you know, it's so interesting. You were talking about, and I'm hearing you talk now about asking this person for advice,

this person for advice. But I also know that now, at this point, and one of those things, obviously, is a result of you starting a professional career at such a young age, you had to ask outside of you all the time, right? You couldn't make those decisions at 12, 16, 18, no one could. But now as an adult and you stepping into your solo career, you began to ask yourself. Absolutely, and I love that you bring that up because, yes, at such a young age, I relied solely on my parents.

I did not make a decision without them. And now, after so long getting so much experience under my belt, having a personal transformation, growing so much, I'm now at a place where I am making my own decisions. Of course, if I'm stuck or, you know, I'll ask people, but at the end of the day, I know who I am. I know my brand. I know what's in my heart, and I'm confident enough to now say, hey, I'd love to do this or,

that's not right for me or, hey, I'm gonna change this or hey, let's explore that. It's so awesome, because I know a lot of people out there probably struggle with finding their own voice and finding their own confidence. And again, for me, having that complex of being in Fifth Harmony and a lot of people being so mean to me and negative to me when our business

and trying to just take away my voice, take away my life. I work through that with the help of my face, my parents, my new team around me. Therapy, all these things helped me to stand tall today and to say, hey, I know my voice, I know who I am, I've got my confidence, and I know someone out there is struggling the way I did,

and is maybe super codependent on some one of of people's opinions. It's possible to get to a place where you hone in on your voice and what you want and you become your own boss. And there's something so liberating that happens there. And it's a lot of work, guys. It's a lot of work on yourself. A lot of tests that need to happen.

A lot of growing, but it's want to encourage someone your own voice and to work even yourself. It's so w look back on all these d one that yield point to en many whether it be deci your own and really starting your own solo career

or taking that fear and jumping into the dancing situation, going on dancing to the start, or bearing everything and writing the book. What's the moment that you look at that you're like, this is when I knew I'm my most confident from now on? I think up until recently, the moment that, the beginning of this year, starting my own solo tour, that was a moment. Every single thing that had occurred in my life led up to this one moment of having my own

show, of showing people in the world who I was on the stage as an artist on my own for the very first time. I'm calling the shots, you know, obviously collaborating with my team and my choreographer and my dancers, but at the end of the day being my own boss, it's like, whoa, as you see, you know, people who get my story and read my book, you'll see why that moment was so significant for me. And it was so powerful and pushing myself to the limits. There are so many obstacles that happen just to get my tour to become red too that you'll see,

but fighting through all that and just like, just being that fighter and owning who I am was so wonderful. And then through this book, writing this book, bearing it all and not being afraid to be vulnerable for the very first time in my life was so freeing and wonderful. And it's the most amazing feeling knowing that so many different stories have helped so many young girls, guys, adults. I've gotten so many messages of people being like, Ali, your story of not giving up helped me or inspired me or hey I'm going through a very similar situation as your family did or my mom struggling with school

yo says I'm a premature baby just like you I mean all those moments and even something is I've heard so many stories of something very personal like my you know decision to save myself for marriage. A lot of messages of people saying, Ali, you know, I felt alone, but thank you for sharing that and people who don't have that same decision still showing me so much love and support. It's so awesome seeing all these beautiful stories. That's why I created this book. You know, it's not about me.

It's about helping, you know, that little girl who felt like me, who doesn't have a confidence, who doesn't feel pretty never good enough, or someone who's out of crossroads in their life saying, I don't know what the heck to do or adore is close. All these things, that's the most beautiful part of finding my own harmony and writing it down and sharing it with others. That's, I think, one of the most beautiful things about writing a book is that it's all out there and you get to connect to people and help people. That's what it's all about.

So I hate the end because here's the thing. And I'm reading, Allie, and I'm like, oh my gosh, you know, her solo crew starting to come together. And I'm like, cheering you on. I'm excited for the next city and your Chicago and now Boston and we're selling out now and I'm getting so excited. And all of a sudden the freaking pandemic hits and I'm like, what the F?

Why now? No. Girl, I know. See you get it. You get it. You see that this kind of a recurring theme, but hey, it's life, if you know, and it's what we choose to do after that.

Oh, yeah, I had many tears that were cried. I had prayers of like, God, why? But you know what? I trust you, you know, I've been through this story before to where lots of wise, but then, you know, in the end, you get me through it. And that's exactly what he's done. And the most crazy part about it is, you know, yeah, still sad, you know, that I couldn't complete my tour. And it was very devastated for a long time, you know, during the quarantine. But what's been such a wonderful thing about this time, personally, for me, if I didn't have the time that I did, I would have never completed this. I completed this during the quarantine, they're in the first few months.

I mean, tirelessly working on it, finishing stories, gosh, up for many, many, many long hours, days crying, call my parents, saying, I don't think I can do this, no. Because as you know, a book is such an extraordinary amount of work and time. It's like an ensuing thing to get accomplished. But I did it.

And what a more perfect time to have an inspirational book than now. So many people need it. And again, hearing how many people love the stories. And one of my favorite things is when people shout out my parents and give love to my parents, because for the first time, my parents story gets told, my mom, her schooliosis, but still supporting her little girl traveling back and forth, all the sacrifices they did, all the little self promotion they did for many years, how we did it together as a family.

Like, my parents deserve the whole world and their stories in here. Not to why I want people to read it for many other reasons too, but that's one of the most important things because my parents are superheroes. Man, it's been crazy that like God turned some of my pain into something powerful, which was this book.

And during this time, I was also able to be part of an award show and to film my very first movie. It's just like God continues to blow me away. And most importantly, I'm thankful. My friends, family and loved ones are safe and healthy. And that's all that you can ask for and everything else. It's just an added bonus and, you know, just taking my blessings so heavily in my heart.

I mean, you're so right. Your parents are total superheroes. I was blown away by the sacrifices that they've made physically, financially, geographically. I mean, just everything. They're flipping amazing. But it is kind of cool to hear now thinking about the impact of the pandemic,

you ending the tour unexpectedly. That was not the plan. Then finishing the book, then a movie, right? Like all these unexpected blessings came after yet again, a very difficult and trying and testing time for you. Again, you know, just taking the good and the bad, you know, dealing with my emotions. Yeah, you know, I taking the good and the bad, you know, dealing with my emotions. Yeah, you know, I was very sad. I was in sadness and, you know, a lot of questioning for a long time again, but choosing again to trust God and to trust his plan. And oh my gosh, there's so much anxiety that came to me as a Saul, so much fear, fear of the unknown, fear of what's going to happen to my family, my loved ones, all of it. But you know, sometimes in that you just got to be like, I have no control. I have no control. So the thing I can control is sometimes is my emotion and my

outlook and just leaving it all to God because that's all I can do, but being thankful for every day. And again, like you said, you know, one door closed and another one opened. And I learned so many lessons during this time and really worked on myself, reconnected with so many different people, been able to work, you know, and again, so thankful. And most importantly, trying to help other people through my book and through social media, that's what helps connect us all, is our story. So again, just fighting through the hard times and the hardships.

Well, you're an amazing storyteller. And for everyone to understand, this is a super easy fast read with really inspiring messages that, to me, I'm 46 years old and it resonated clear as day. Oh my God. Oh my God.

I want people to know that you don't have to be in your 20s to read this book because it's really relatable as a parent, as a corporate employee, as an entrepreneur, as anyone who has something out there they want to chase down, but they're scared to go after it. They're challenged with their own self confidence, they're owned out, the haters. All of the same things that we all deal with, this is just such a great story of overcoming it and so much of your success after reading that.

Obviously is rooted in your faith, which is such a good reminder that there is something so much larger than us out there and we can turn it over instead of carrying it on our own backs every day, which happens to so many of us. Yes, that's it. And you perfectly encompassed my story and its message. And thank you for sharing that because that's so important, you know, is connecting through our stories. And hopefully people of all ages can connect to mine because there's so much in there. You know, I know I'm young, but a lot of life,

you know, a lot of experience, it's all the same, you know, the pain's the same, the victory's the same, the question is the same, the wonderings the same, the anxiety, but no matter who you are, no matter where you come from, no matter what age, you can overcome so much, more than you could even think possible and you really can buy all that achieve more than you can imagine that's what happened to me you know to my surprise

you know I would have never thought gosh if you had told me two years ago when I was crying on the floor that hey Ali you're about to be on such an extraordinary ride in the next two years, have so many of your biggest dreams come true. You're able to bless so many people and be an impact and be a light and live out so many amazing dreams from collaborating with people you love, meeting people you love, getting that love from your favorite, you know, artists and stuff and also creating the songs in your heart, the videos in your heart, being part of, you know, Macy's Day Parade and these award shows and

have all these things in your heart come true, being in a movie. All these things I would have never believed you, but again just fighting and never giving up, not losing hope is the fame and is the message and honestly even things I didn't even think of happened in these past two years. It's really wonderful. Thank you so much for saying that. Ali, where can everyone find the book? You can find it wherever books are sold. Barnes and Noble, Amazon. You can even get, I could read to you on Audible. I mean, the audio book.

Yes, there's so much in here, so much eye on cover, so many different topics and lessons from my heart. And I hope that I can inspire you and your story in your own faith, you to have a confidence to create your own path. And to know that all things are truly possible and knowing that you can achieve so much, you can achieve such great heights

and you can get through anything. That's my prayer for this book, so thank you to all your wonderful listeners out there. Well, thank you for writing, finding your harmony and we will be cheering you on. Aw, thank you Heather. This was so awesome and I really appreciate you reading my story in a day. That is oh man

You can't really ask more than that and that Appreciating every story. There's the way I hope so thank you. God bless you. All right, hold tight guys. We'll be right back Hope you enjoyed meeting Ali as much as I did. I'm so blown away. And this goes back to what I was talking about before we sat down with her. At such a young age, she has achieved such massive success, so far beyond me, right? She is so far ahead of me in so many,

which is four million followers on Instagram and her community. She is just light years ahead of 99% of the population. The amount of success she's had at such a young age. And that reminds me, she just kept going bigger. Even though she was afraid, even though she had doubts, she found ways to keep going bigger and really started going to the next level

when she started listening to her own voice and started tuning out the naysayers. So, I am taking that advice from myself. I hope you take that for you so we can continue to go far beyond where we are today. So this week, I had my team meeting, which I have every Friday, and one of my clients was going through a program that he has to help young people in their early 20s. People graduating in college figure out what it is that they're meant to do, you know, from a passion perspective, really bringing passion,

their talents, and finding a way to create revenue altogether, and really have this great experience in life instead of like many of us just kind of fall into a job or, you know, do what your parents tell you to do or do what a friend said you were good at. But really tap into what is your purpose? What is your mission? Why are you here and how can you create revenue for yourself while serving your purpose and mission? And it was so interesting. One of the women on my team raised her hand and said, oh my gosh, do that for me. I wish someone would do that for me now. And she explained, you know, in your 40s, oh my gosh, do that for me. I wish someone would do that for me now. And she explained, in your 40s, after having kids, after doing all the things and checking all the boxes,

everyone told you to do, go buy a house, go to college, go get a nine to five job, go get married, go have kids, go do these things. And then one day you wake up in your 40s at this second half of your life and start saying, wow, did I have I really been living my purpose and I'm making an impact and I'm leaving a legacy and I'm living to my potential?

Right, all these questions that so many of us myself included have asked, my wake-up call obviously was at 43 getting fired. That sort of was that moment to ask those questions. Some people don't get fired and just ask themselves the questions for whatever reason or realization they have. And I hope you're doing the same thing. But for me, that moment for her,

the fact that she raised her hand on that call and asked that question on the call, that's the answer. Right? She might not have that whole picture answer yet, of course not. I still don't. I'm sure you don't either. But the fact that she raised her hand, that she had the confidence and felt comfortable enough to raise her hand and ask that question, that's how I know she's going to find what her purpose is. That's how I know she's going to head down that right path. And for me, it reminds me of the day, my friend said to me, go take a stand-up comedy class.

And I cringed. And he said, oh, you really don't want to do it. Even more of a reason why you need to. You need to start stepping into fear and putting yourself in new situations to figure out where you're actually supposed to go. Because the more we stay in these little rat races that we're comfortable in circling the drain, I call it,

we're just running around the same path, but going nowhere. The more we do that, the more we're never gonna find passion, the mission, the purpose, the bigger picture, the legacy, the whole reason why we're here. So I challenge you today to step out of your comfort zone. I challenge you to be like this woman and raise your hand and start asking the question.

I challenge you to ask someone the question too that you never have before. Ask for help surround yourself with people who are so far ahead of you. Because if you're not willing to change the situation, you're accepting it for what it is and you're choosing that situation, you're choosing to circle the drain. So choose not to circle the drain, choose to raise your hand. And just like this woman, she might not have the answer today, but the fact that she's choosing not to accept where she is is the answer that's going to get her where she needs

to go and it's going to get you where you need to go to. I'm committed to that. I'm not where I need to be yet, but I am definitely on my way. And just like her, it started with raising my hand and asking questions, questions of myself first, and then questions of others, and then taking actions and stepping into fear and falling down along the way.

But that's all part of the process to figure out where it is you're actually supposed to be. So thank you so much for being here this week. If you like the show, please leave me a review. It helps so much. And if you can share it on social media, tag me, I will definitely repost, reshare, retag. We'll do it all.

And until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I'm right there with you. Hope you're enjoying this episode so far. I'm on this journey with me. I hope you're enjoying this episode so far. I'm Jennifer Cohen, host the top ranking business and entrepreneur podcast, Habits and Hustle, apart the YAP media network, the number one business and self-improvement podcast network. So most people live the life they get and not the life they want.

And I'm here to change all that. My goal with each episode is to give you the habits and hustle tips you need to show up to your life better, bigger, and bolder. Tune in now, and I'll not only help you answer the questions like what do you want most in life and why don't you have it, but we'll also help you make it a reality. I also picked the brains of top thought leaders on how they've gone to the top and the advice they have to help you get there too. Head over to Habits and Hustle.

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