Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - How to Make Things Happen with Heather & Kelley Tyan, Author & Success Coach! Episode 264

Episode Date: October 26, 2022

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  What you speak into existence MATTERS  Staying open to possibilities    Timing is everything  Resources: Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Website: www.kelleytyan.com Listen to Addicted To The Climb podcast Read: Addicted To The Climb LinkedIn:@Kelley Tyan Instagram: @kelleytyan Show Notes:  I’m joined today by my long-time friend Kelley Tyan! She’s an amazing faith inspired, success coach, as well as an author AND podcast host. We learned this weekend that you NEVER know what is possible. Life is full of surprises and when the timing is right, everything will workout! You’ll notice incredible changes in your life once you focus on what matters most, and let GO of all the other stuff. Just wait and see!   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

So you're winding down with the podcast. Sounds like you have no plans to leave the couch tonight. Nope, you just want to unzip your jeans, slip on a pair of fuzzy slippers, and rip open a bag of skinny pop popcorn. Because the only place you're going tonight is the bottom of this journey with me. Each week when you join me, you're going to chase down our goals. Overcome adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. After no sleep, I'm ready for my close time.

Hi and welcome back. I'm so glad you're here with us this week. Yes, I said us. I'm not sitting here by myself today and think goodness, we are not on video. I've got Kelly Tyein with me today. Hi, Kelly Tyein here with a lost voice. Yeah, literally. Okay. So I'm in Massachusetts right now. This is where I'm from, Wista, I mean, not technically in Wista, but closed. This is where I grew up. Back with my homies, one of our OGs got married last night, and we are coming to you live with not living our best lives right now. We are not living our best lives right now. Apparently, I was singing a lot at the wedding.

So my voice is a little off, but we had the best night ever. Ever. Like, best. I can't even. So my voice is a little off, but we had the best night ever. Ever. Like, that can't even be. But we declared it before we left the house. Do you remember it? And we did that this summer, remember when Martha's vineyard, we declared this is going to be the best day ever,

and it truly, truly was. So put out there what it is that you want. Like, for your day, I don't know, I don't know when you're listening to this. Maybe it's Monday, maybe it's Sunday, I don't know, but like declare this is gonna be your best day ever and watch the chips fall because it literally came to fruition. Yes, right.

And it matters what you speak out. Yeah, no, it's so true. Okay, here's where I wanna start, first of all. The person that got married yesterday is 48 years old. His first marriage, I never thought in a million years this person was ever going to get married. Never, never, it was never happening. And yesterday he had the most epic wedding,

incredible, very traditional. He has two children with this woman and not what any of us would have ever forecasted. Correct? Correct. He's been single most of his life. We just didn't see it coming and she was such a blessing. She just came into his life, delivered by God himself, truly planted in his path because

nobody thought this guy would be married and we're just so happy for him. So happy for him. But I guess my point for everyone listening is that you don't know what's possible because he never thought he was getting married. If anyone had asked him five years ago or 10 years ago, no, he was never going to get married. It was a joke. He would literally make a joke of it. So my point is anything is possible and you just, you have to stay open to that possibility of what could come.

God, that means, this is what I thought truly when I saw him at the church yesterday. I'm like, if he's getting married clearly, I'm gonna get married again. You are getting married. And you're getting married clearly. You're getting married. We're declaring that we're speaking

of existence right now. Yes. OK, so excited. And I will be the maid of honor. Of course, yes. But here's the thing is that I was so in awe. I was so surprised that he did get married so happy for him. He was clearly so happy.

He also showed up so differently. Like, he was a bridesmaid. He was a bridesmaid. And we never thought that we never, never, we didn't know if she would be a bridesilla in some kind of way. Right, very sweet girl. I didn't see that, but he came in hot as a bridesilla.

Oh my gosh. In every way possible. Like Heather was visiting maybe over the summer. Remember, we were with the girl that got married. She says he made me return my, what was it, the wedding invitation? The invitation. Because the font wasn't right.

The font. I mean, ladies, if you're ever at Zilla, don't be. It was so much. It was so ridiculous, but we never thought he would show up like that. However, right, things changed incredibly for this person. Once he decided he would show up like that. However, right? Things change incredibly for this person. Once he decided he did want to get married, it became like the most important thing in the world to him. Oh, it was a countdown from one year ago and everybody had

jobs and chores and it's amazing. No, he was just a happy. Kelly gave a blessing. He asked her to give a blessing at the reception. And he timed her delivery and threatened her not to go over. It was like a TED talk, basically. It was a TED talk. And I had to rehearse my 60 seconds. So it didn't go over. 60 seconds, which you clearly went over, by the way. It was so funny.

It was great. We had such a great night getting together with people we haven't seen in 20, right? Maybe even 30 years. Yeah. Some people 30 years old. And literally like picking up right where you left off. Right where we left off. Yeah.

Everybody was great. It was like we were back in high school. And truly. Those are the fun times when you meet with people you haven't seen in a while. Okay, but some unexpected things happen. So that I want to dive into. Tom Brady. So, okay, wait, that was the weirdest, like that was weird.

I loved it. Okay, so he had a cut out, a life-size cut out of Tom Brady, that he busted through the door with at the end of the night. At the reception. At the reception, walking around with the cut out. So he's a die-hard fan. Clearly. No one never won fan of Tom Brady, but that was funny.

I thought that was so weird and unexpected. I love it. I thought it was fun. Okay. I don't think it's fun just in case I end up dating Tom Brady. There'll be a little embarrassing. Ooh. I love it. We're putting it out there. Tom, we're putting that there. You are listening to creating confidence. Get in touch with me, Kelly Tyron. Oh my god. I'll hook you up. Okay. Done and done. Okay.

So to that end at the wedding, this is what was super surprising, guys, is that years ago, one of my friends from college who I had been very good friends with, I had dated someone for a short period of time. I wasn't really very serious about him at all. I was in the early years. No, I was like nothing. Anyways, I was like, oh, she just blows that one right off. Because that was never a big deal to me.

Yeah, so I remember I just moved away. And then that's I think how I broke up with them. And so anyways, this girl ends up marrying someone that I dated, but it wasn't a big deal, because I wasn't very serious about the guy. So I knew she ends up marrying him, and then she stopped talking to me, for whatever reasons people have.

So for years, years and years and years, even at your wedding, right? At your wedding, 20 years ago, she wouldn't speak to me. It was weird, but okay, like, you know, I just let it go. It's not about me, whatever, you know, whatever issue she has, she had an issue. So I let it go. You had stayed friends with her and you guys would go on vacation together, sometimes and I couldn't be around. So there was like weird dynamic, but whatever, again, you know, life moves on. First world problems. Well, wouldn't you know, out of the blue last night,

we're standing there and she walks right up and she's standing on one side of you and I'm on the other, which she would never have done in the past and she just said to me, oh my gosh, I love your shoes. And this woman has not spoken to me. That's how she's spoken. Yeah, it was my shoes.

Oh my shoes are incredible. They were incredible. They were cute. They're Christian LeBouton. They're so gorgeous. I'm obsessed with them. Anyhow, they took a couple of falls last night, but yeah. Anyways, so all right.

So she just says, oh my gosh, I love your shoes. So immediately I say, thank you so much. Right, like I just act like nothing had happened at at first at first, but I changed that after. So I just said, you know, oh my gosh, thank you so much. That's so sweet of you to say. I love them. Like I start telling you about the shoes and then all of a sudden it was just pick up like nothing ever happened. And then they were glued at the hip the whole night. No, she went. I was sitting next to your husband at dinner. No, I was sitting next to your husband at the beginning of the wedding.

And I leaned over and said, I told him what happened. And I said, listen, I'm going to go talk to her though. I don't want to act like nothing happened. I'm just not that person. I can't just pretend nothing happened. That's not me. That's her for sure, which like different things work

for different people. But that just isn't me. I have to address the elephant. I'm very happy. Wait, let's talk about that from it, because I think many people, I don't know if I'm as strong as you. No, you would let it go.

I think I would, even though it would bother me, I would want to say something, but this happened to me in my life with a friend, and she just never addressed it. Yeah. I didn't need that, and it bothers me. So I'm happy that you felt that way. Oh, my God. I felt, well, because even your husband said to me, he's like, I don't think you need to do that. That's right. He was like, I don't think he was like, I don't think he's like, yeah,

he's like, why would you risk, you know, like, how they're just let it let it be. It's kind of his point. Like, just let it go. Well, that goes with the whole thing of being comfortable. It's very comfortable not to say anything to me. That's more uncomfortable. Yeah, right But I like your style because you want to handle it and then move on and then move on because then once you've addressed it I know you can move on I know because you've already said it's but she was not comfortable with it by the way Oh, not at all not at all. So what did you say? I don't know all right? So first of all I ran up by your husband first Because he's kind of like my litmus and he was like you know what? I don't think you need to I'm like well I really feel like I need to because he's kind of like my litmus, and he was like, you know what, I don't think you need to, and I'm like, well, I really feel like I need to.

And he's like, well, then if you feel that strongly, do it, he's like, but don't make a big deal out of it. I'm like, okay, got it. So I just immediately, when they let us stand up from the tables, I walked, I be lying to her, and I said, I need to speak to you for a moment. And she's like, what's up, sure? Like, acting like everything's fine,

that we hadn't, like, 20 years had not occurred. And I said, listen, you and I were good friends. And obviously, you know, something changed. And I didn't want to dig into the reasons why, you know, I just said, obviously, something changed. I said, and now today, you know, fast four or 20 years, you're showing up, like nothing happened. Number one, I want to say thank you. Like thank you for opening that door for kindness and forgiveness for whatever, you know, was uncomfortable for you before. I said, number one, I want to say thank you. I said, and number two, I just want to say I'm grateful that, you know, we're speaking again.

That was so nice. But no, but she, the funny thing, she must have been very nervous. She's very nervous. Yeah. No, you're right. I wasn't thinking about that the time, but she the funny one she must have been very nervous. She's very nervous. Yeah, no, you're right I wasn't thinking about that the time, but she was very nervous and she was very put off by me saying this like it was very Uncomfortable for her actually sweating right now thinking you are well, I mean first of all you guys were at a wedding I'm not sure maybe Your listeners can tell you if they would do that because I think this is interesting. Would you wait until the wedding is over and then maybe send her to or call her?

No! Because then I'd be fake! No, I'm not fake! Okay. I'm not showing up as fake. I either have to avoid her the rest of the night. So I know you and I know this, but I still don't know if I would have done it. No, you would not have done it. Yeah, no, you totally wouldn't have. So anyway, so she was very nervous. It was uncomfortable for her. And she basically kind of said to me, like, oh, no, I don't think it's a big deal.

I just haven't seen you, which that was not a truth, right? And I knew that wasn't a truth. But I wasn't going to argue the point, right? I'm like, okay, at that point, I decided to let it go, because it wasn't a battle I was trying to win. I was more or less just saying, I want to show that, okay, something was broken here. You're opening it up to repair it and I'm appreciative of that. Right. And let's like acknowledge it and move forward, you know? But she did not want

to, she wasn't getting my vibe. Like she didn't feel the same way I did. She wanted to just push it, push past it. Right. And so I did at that point, I let it go. And, you know, she just kind of basically said, I haven't seen you and, you know, how I seen you, it would have been different. So let's just move on. And I just said, okay. Perfect. Yeah. So I let it go. And then, yeah, we dropped it and then acted like nothing ever happened. Yeah. So bizarre. So, but that was back to my point of you just never know what's going to happen in life. I would have, as much as I never thought Tommy was going to get married. I never thought this woman would have ever spoken to me ever again in her life. I know.

I wasn't sure myself to be honest. Yeah. If she would ever say, yeah, because like it had gone so long. Why would she now? Yeah, so long. Right. I guess the shoes. Yeah.

No, but you know what? Shoes. No, it wasn't the shoes. Okay. The shoes. But you know what? Shoes. No, it wasn't the shoes. OK, you want to know what it was, guys. Here's what I think. I think she's in a better place in her life.

I think it has nothing to do with me. 100%. I agree. Yeah. It's she's in a really good place. And when you're not in a good place, right, it comes out in every single way. Just like we said, about what did we say?

One of our friends. You can see happiness on someone's face. Yes, it's visible. Yes. Okay, so one of our friends looked so gorgeous yesterday. It was like breathtaking, like a stall, like she was like a show stopper. It was radiating.

Radiating. Her happiness was radiating through her face. Literally. Literally. Yeah, usually she Well, she looks beautiful all the time of course, but not like this like right like you said it was other Level it was visible to everyone. She was stunning. Yes, you can see the happiness when it's shining through Yeah, and that's something you can't hide that's something you can't fake That's just you either have it or not and this woman that decided to speak to me yesterday,

same thing she just was like a happier version of herself. She was, and I'm happy that you guys moved on. Yeah, no, for sure. To me, listen, life is about finding joy in it any moment. And if you're gonna be uncomfortable or unhappy, that hurts you. Like, I don't need to penalize someone for not speaking to me for years.

That's just crazy. Like, why not find a to penalize someone for not speaking to me for years. That's just crazy. Right. Like, why not find a way to forgive, repair and move on? I love this because that's what it's all about forgiveness. And we would talk about this all the time. When you hold on and you're not forgiving, the other person's moved, like, you moved on. She was holding onto it.

So it's causing so much angst in her. Just forgive and move on. It's that easy. And it was so funny, because her husband looked so happy. Like, it was just like a weight lifted like that we don't need to have this like weird, unseen, negative thing in the room anymore.

Exactly. And even though it could have just, you know, they didn't have to do, it just, the point is this, if you have the opportunity to forgive someone, if you have the opportunity to find joy Choose it. It'll make you feel better It will make those around you feel better and then you can just pick

Happiness and move on and literally like our friend you'll end up looking better as a result of it. I agree I think I looked really good because I was very happy And I and it's true it shines. That's the filter that you choose. Oh, is it? The filters I can't. Okay, so we need a filter right now. No, we look horrible.

We will be the first one to tell you when we think we look terrible. We're not. It's not a great, not our best look. But it's okay. Yeah, no, it's so, it's great. I mean, it is so fun. It is so funny. It's so fun. National security experts are warning. Our aging power grid is more vulnerable than ever.

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yesterday, yesterday was one of the first times I've been back in a traditional Catholic church in a really long time, in years. And my faith journey has me very much in a different type of worship season right now with Christian faith is so incredibly different. And what the things that struck me, number one, I felt like a little nervous. Like you almost feel like getting judged the minute you walk in. Like I hope this dress is appropriate for being in church. And I didn't feel the way that I feel when I walk in. You felt that way?

Oh, yeah. It took me back to being a kid. Like, oh gosh, remember I started saying through the rules, you're not supposed to receive communion. If you weren't in a traditional church the week prior, like I remember the rules and I remember the dictates and just that sense of kind of being judged that hit me very quickly.

So I understand so much so when I hear people who, you know, they don't like church, they don't have a good feeling around it. I sort of have, you know, not the greatest memories of that. It's so different now, you know. So different because what you're saying is, there's people are taken back by religion. Yes.

And right now you have are in a relationship with God. Totally different. Totally different. And, you know, Catholicism is a lot of rules and that's why people push back. So faith, you know, both of us go to Christian churches that there are any rules, it's Bible-based. So Jesus loved everyone, that's the message,

love your neighbor as yourself. And that's what we're doing here. So Heather was looked at me when communion was being served. And she said, should I go? I said, yes, why not? Just right right away you said that. But I said, no, the rule is I remember if you haven't been the week before you're not supposed to receive. And you said to me, why wouldn't you receive? Like there are no rules? That's what you said I did and so I Jesus there are no rules. You're right. God there are no you're right But I was thinking of the Catholic Church. I don't think of religion not like what you're saying right relationship

The the funny thing is I hadn't changed just the geography changed I walked into a traditional church and suddenly my mind set changed. So it's sort of interesting that your brain could change so quickly just in the environment because of the way I had grown up, right? So once Kelly gave me permission to receive, I felt, okay, this is okay for me. So this is why it's so important who you surround yourself with. So important, you know, the people that you choose to listen to my back process from my second book overcome your villains, that third piece, or the knowledge that you choose to access and support yourself with, like in that moment,

you granted me permission and immediately I stood up and said, okay, why wouldn't I receive? Right. Christ, like let's go, let's do it. And then I was so glad that I did it, but I needed that permission because I had reverted to an old way of thinking because of the geography I found myself in. So bizarre. It is. But my cousin's son just said this the other day. He said, oh, I really don't

do religion. And I said, why? Or we were talking about God. And he said, yeah, I just, I don't really have an interest in all of those rules. He actually said that. Yeah, I get it. For Son. And I said, well, I just want you to know one thing. I'm not part of a religion. I have deep faith.

I love. I love God. I love Jesus. It is the same Jesus in God in Catholicism as my church. But I'm in relationship. and I really just want to stress that to people. You don't, not to go on a church tangent right now, but you don't have to feel nervous about God.

It's really about you just, like Heather and I have in a conversation. That's how I talk to God. I want to part of my life. I want to know he's taking care of me. I feel his peace, his presence all the time So take religion out of your head if you are you know Taken, you know, maybe you have bad feelings about religion

Just know that you can have a relationship with God your own special unique relationship with him And it all just starts with talking a normal conversation, a prayer. Like, guide my day today. You know, I never feel alone and I think that's the biggest blessing. Like, I want my kids to know they're never alone and you know, we want to bring up our children, knowing they're never alone, not to go out on faith. Let's go back to the church because I know we wanted to talk about the mass itself. It was so beautiful, you guys.

I haven't been to a Catholic mass in so long, but the priest was hilarious. So hilarious. He was hilarious. You know what the difference is when the priest that marries someone or you go to a funeral and the priest knows the actual person. It's such a connection. Yes. And the audience feels it.

Yes. Like he knew the bride and groom so well. He made jokes. It was just beautiful. He was moved. He was moved. He started tearing up. Yeah.

And when that happened, it made it so much more meaningful. It was so meaningful. That's what it is. It was so meaningful. That's what it is. It was very meaningful. It was a beautiful mass. And, you know, it was very traditional. It was. It nailed stand.

We hated the kneeling part. Or like, oh my gosh, our knees are killing us. We hated that. We were all in our dresses. And no, but it was. It was beautiful. The church was very pretty. And the father did a great job. He did an amazing

job. He was hilarious. To your point, it makes such a big difference who's leading in an environment like that. Right. Because it had even more that traditional way. That would have been not as memorable ceremony. And I felt so compelled to, I went up to him at the reception afterwards. I did too. Oh, you did. Oh, good. Oh, good. He was so happy. I wanted to encourage him to let him know that, you know, someone like me who had been, you know,

very big and grew up in Catholicism and then moved away from it and didn't have great feelings. Like he opened that door to make me feel I was feeling really good about it again. Yeah, he did a great job. Everything was perfect. We can't say enough about this wedding. I mean, it was incredible. It was epic. Epic.

I mean, this guy waited 48 years to get married for the first time and it was worth it. It was just so much fun. So many good things happen last night. So many great people that I forgot about. The relationships just every thing that's right. Right.

I mean the dancing like just the whole thing was epic. I mean my singing all. Oh my gosh. The boys. Oh my gosh. It was dancing in the sun. The guys my calves are killing me. My feet are killing me.

I was jumping like I was on a trampoline. Why didn't we have flip-flops on the whole night? Why were we wearing giant high heels? Horrible decisions. We had to look a certain way. I was painful. Sometimes it is painful. If your business earns millions or tens of millions of revenue,

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Shopify.com. Slash Monahann. Okay, so not living in New England for the past 20 years, because as you know, I live in Miami, I appreciate the foliage so much. I appreciate so much more. How beautiful it is here now that I don't live here. So Heather comes everything's giving to my house with my family and she always misses October of the foliage and it's a short season. misses October of the folia,

Jim is a short season, right, with the leaves changing. They don't last. It's all I wish it would be at least four weeks. It's not. It's like two and a half and it's gorgeous. Yes, it's it's like the golden hour. Yes, all day. It's beautiful.

So she flew in and she said her and her son Dylan, they were looking out on the plane and just how beautiful it is and I've never flown and I I usually go up north and we drive we take a trip every fall my husband and I but I've never really flown in the fall Oh, you said that you need me to take a flight. Yeah, take a flight now now Now you can see it right because it's already literally the leaves are falling off today. I'm falling off It's getting very quick. It's so fast. It's coming to see it. It's coming to see it. Literally the leaves are falling off today. It's already falling off. It's getting very close. It's so fast.

It's so fast, but it's so spectacular. And it's something I always took for granted when I lived here. But now it just, wow, it just jumps out at me because we only see green trees where I live, right? So it's like suddenly when something's taken from you or you know, or absent from your life, you really appreciate it so much more. Right, right. I'll be happy when I'm back in Miami,

but it's nice to see for sure. We'll miss you. We'll all miss you guys too. I mean, listen, as I was telling you, one of the things that stinks about being single is when you have to go to a wedding by yourself because you're like, ugh, this is gonna be awful.

Everyone's gonna ask why I'm not married. But it just, it reminds you that you're like, uh, this is going to be awful. Everyone's going to ask why I'm not married. But like, it's just it reminds you that you're, you know, not in a relationship with somebody. But yesterday, that was not the case at all. Nobody even asked. No one even asked me why I was single. Isn't that crazy? So usually that happens. I've been married forever. Yeah.

I never thought about it. Yeah. That being a single person going and having all the, it's like when a woman is getting married, oh, you're having kids yet. You exactly thought about it. Yeah. That being a single person going and having all the people. It's like when a woman is getting married, oh, you're having kids yet. Exactly. You know, same thing. I never thought about that. That that is uncomfortable. Oh, wait. People should say, keep your opinions to yourself though. Yeah. You know, if you show up single, okay, it doesn't have to be about, oh, aren't you getting me? Why is that? Right. What's going on? It's like that single people feel like that. Of course they do.

Especially in your 40s when you show up somewhere. Oh my God, of course. Yeah, so it's definite. But I'm happy you felt comfortable. And it was great. And you know what's so funny is I was talking, there was a lot of my ex-boyfriends were there yesterday, which is so weird, right?

That's one of the funny things coming home. That is so fun. It's so weird. And then I was talking to a friend of mine who I forgot was a cousin of another guy that I had dated and I said, and he was telling me how well he's doing. And I said, oh gosh, I guess it was an epic fail. I broke up with him and he looked at me and he said, no, you were so right to break up with him.

And it was just one of those funny moments that you're like, I was joking when I said it, but he was saying, no, like Heather, good move. So it's just like that further affirmation that, okay, yeah, I did listen, I might be single, but I'm glad I didn't settle for any of these people that were not meant for me. Exactly. Yeah. You're right where you're supposed to be. And that's what you just have to accept and welcome that who knows what tomorrow holds. Who knows what today holds? Like, it's life is literally an adventure. It's gonna be whatever it is meant for you. And you just have to move forward with that optimism

and that excitement for like who knows what's gonna happen next. But I just can't wait. It's so fun. It is so fun. The journey is always, the joy is in the journey. Yes. I love that. Yeah. It's not the finish line always. I love that. Yeah.

It's not the finish line always. It's like, what's next? Where am I going to be next? Like, who am I going to meet next? It's exciting. Yeah, it really is exciting. And I know how it has a plan for you and God has a man for you. OK?

Yeah. I'm making sure. Yes. A plan and a man and it's coming. Oh, we need that. We need that. I like that t-shirt. I like that.

God has a plan and a man for me. And he has a man. So, state, just be where. We need that. I like that. I like that. God has a plan. And he has a man. So stay just be where you are. OK, tell me you have such an incredible marriage. You've such an incredible husband. You're such an incredible wife. How do you guys keep it? Like we're talking about how it's exciting for me

because we don't know what's coming next in my life. How do you keep it exciting for you guys when you do know what's coming next? Oh, that's so good. You know, my husband and I, Tony, we really work hard at our marriage. We really do. It's not just the way it is because it's just the way it is. We really put time in with each other.

We spend quality time together. And you guys date. We date. Yeah. You really do. We really do. If you guys are stuck in a relationship and you've been married for a while and stagnant, I'm telling you, you have to put We date. Yeah. Exactly. You really do. We really do. If you guys are stuck in a relationship and you've been married for a while and stagnant,

I'm telling you, you have to put that time in with that person so you don't just doing the same thing. It gets monotonous. You have to go on a date. Go somewhere different. Tony and I just went to Maine. Right. It's beautiful hotel we go to and we found it.

We happened to find it through another friend, but we just date. Like you said, that's exactly right. He'll say, let's go out, let's go to dinner. We don't lose it. You know, we don't just get, you know, every day we do the same things that can... And I watched my parents, you know, I had a really great parents. They loved each other, but they didn't date like me. Right. Tony. They had a great marriage, though. I can't the best. But it was day in, day out doing the same thing and you see people get bored all the time. Right.

So you have to really put work into your relationships so they can flourish because they'll get stale. But you know one thing I'll add to as an observer, you know, and long time friend of both of you, and depending on, here's what I'll say that I notice. And he and I were speaking about this this morning, he was telling me like, oh, I'm gonna start coaching and I'm like, he's taking on new things of interest to him,

separate from you, like not negative, but like stuff to make him interested in interesting and trying different things that are cool and like giving back and doing his own things that make him happy. And then you do the same thing, like you just went to California. And like you were like,

I'm gonna, you know what, I wanna invest in myself and I wanna like learn and grow and like be around people who are ahead of me. And like you would go invest in yourself and you take that time to stay interesting. Like you both separately and together work on yourselves. Exactly, that's so important. Because we have to constantly evolving and growing as people and we have to keep climbing

We have to keep trying new things. So Tony and I that's a good point I never looked at it like that, but he does he does a lot of things on his own I do a lot of things on my own and we do a lot of things together Yeah, but we love where each other is at. Yeah, love the things he's doing the man he is. And I think he respects me too. It's a respects thing. So I think that's part of having a strong relationship. You know when people try to change the other person, he doesn't do what I want him to do. He won't change.

I'm like, well, he's not supposed to change. He's him. You should love him. You fell in love with the guy. So why are you trying to change him love him for him? So I think that's a really positive thing that Tony and I share he loves me for me I love him for him and we don't try to change each other But one of the things you do is your champions for one another you encourage each other so much so

That's what makes a great marriage. I wanted a great marriage. I declared that my whole life. Like I, so my mom, I love talking about my mom. So, but she did. She taught me to put the time and tell my husband, he's handsome, you know? Yeah, after 20, whatever. She would always say, Kelly, before he leaves in the morning,

do you tell him he looks good? And I'm like, no. Because you don't think about doing that. Right. But she taught me to do those little things that just make a marriage, make a relationship. Say you have a business idea, but you're not sure what to do next. Don't go into debt spending four plus years on a degree. Listen to the Millionaire University podcast.

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This is what I've been waiting for my whole life. But things get real. I have such a great group of guys. I see myself with each of them. Real fast. The beat I've just exploded. You did me dirty. Are you kidding?

Your brothers is on the chest, but who's to say I can't clip that off? Oh! The Baxlerak for years, tonight, 9 a.m. Central Y ABC and stream on Hulu. I'm looking right now in your office, and I'm looking at all the messages. Like, I so believe in the power of messaging, and the power of frequency, and what you see and surround yourself with.

And literally, there's so many pictures in here of you and your husband kissing of you and your husband getting married. And then there's all these messages of with God, all things are possible. Love is patient, love is kind. I'm going to make you so proud. There's all these positive messages

all around the walls, too. Like this is work, but you make a commitment to do it. I love it. You said the frequency. Yes. And it's constant. If I don't tell myself all this and look at this constantly, you know, I need to feed myself these positive messages all the time. If you don't do that, then you're going to take all the negative thoughts in your head

that we have 80,000 a day. Those are going to fill up. You're going to start believing those. So you have to put the positive in. You know, I just got this new one. God is making a way where this seems to be no way. Because there's so many times when you're in trouble or you're just, you know, stressed out. And I always say God will make a way when this seems to be no way. So that's my newest one. I love that one. I love it. Tell everybody how can they find you tell them about your podcast, tell them about the book. Okay, so Kelly, Tyne on Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook,

my book is called Addicted to the Climb and my podcast is also called Addicted to the Climb. It's really a message and a movement for women particularly. I've been coaching women for years but just to help people stay on the climb with a very strong faith so when life gets unshakable you're firmly planted with God. So you can find me there and message me if you have any questions I'd love to chat with Heather's listeners. And I will have a better voice on my podcast. This is just a one time thing.

I'm going to go to bed. Well, thank you for showing up for me today. Thank you for showing up for our listeners and thank you for your commitment to faith, for giving me permission in a traditional scenario yesterday and thank you for being you. Thank you Heather. and having me until next week keep creating your confidence. I'm on this journey. I'm on this journey.

I'm on this journey. I'm on this journey. I'm on this journey. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You can miss it. I'm on this journey with me. Hope you're enjoying this episode so far. I'm Jennifer Cohen, host the top ranking business and entrepreneur podcast, Habitson Hustle, apart the YAP media network, the number one business and self improvement podcast

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I also pick the brains of top thought leaders on how they've gone to the top, and the advice they have to help you get there, too. Head over to Happets and Hustle, once you've done listening to this episode and get one step closer to boldness, one episode at a time. You're getting a diploma. You can't eat a diploma, but you can eat wings and charles. Get 23% off any order, 30 or 50 piece wings when you use promo code 23 grad at charlie's dot com. That's promo

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