Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - How To Turn Obstacles Into Opportunities! With Tanya Dalton CEO & Founder Of inkWELL Press Episode 161

Episode Date: November 2, 2021

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Living life with intention  How to make time work FOR you & not against you   Strategies to maximize your productivity  Resources: Website: https://tanyadalton.com/ & inkWELL Press  Read On Purpose:The Busy Woman’s Guide to an Extraordinary Life of Meaning and Success & The Joy Of Missing Out: Live More By Doing Less Listen to The Intentional Advantage  Youtube:@Tayna Dalton LinkedIn: @Tanya (Irelan) Dalton Instagram & Facebook: @tanya.i.dalton  Twitter: @tanya_i_dalton Review this podcast on Apple Podcast using this LINK and when you DM me the screen shot, I buy you my $299 video course as a thank you!  To pre-order Overcome Your Villains NOW and get the bonus bundle click here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  When was the last time you went to bed and thought to yourself, I did a good job today? When was the last time you recognized just how AMAZING you are!? As women we often get into patterns and live life doing what we're supposed to be doing, and miss finding the happiness and joy in the present moment. When we can slow down and live life with intention, that’s when we can feel satisfaction. I want women to feel more accomplished and energized for life as a whole!  About The Guest: Joining us today is Tanya Dalton, an amazing speaker and podcast host, a best selling author, and a nationally recognized productivity expert. As the CEO and Founder of inkWELL press she runs a multi million dollar company dedicated to providing the tools that work as a catalyst in helping women do less and achieve maximum success! See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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so drivers can get back on the road fast. Making the right calls, that's what we're made for. Membership eligibility and product restrictions apply in our subject to change. USAA means United Services Automobile Association and its affiliates, San Antonio, Texas. When is the last time that you went to bed and thought, good work today? You're amazing, Because far too many women are not saying that to themselves at all. I want women to feel more accomplished. I want them to feel

more energized for life as a whole because we live so much of life on repeat, doing things that we think we're supposed to be doing that we miss, finding the happiness and the joy that's right there in our everyday moments when we slow down, when we live life with intention, when we create time, so it works for us, not against us. That's really when we have that feeling of satisfaction. That's when we have that happiness that we're all chasing after. I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me,

we are going to chase down our goals. We've come adversity and set you up for better tomorrow. That's our new secret, I'm ready for my close time. Welcome back. I'm so excited for you to meet my guest this week. Today, we've got Tanya Dalton. She's a best-selling author, speaker, and nationally recognized productivity expert.

Tanya serves as a growth strategist for leaders. Her highly anticipated second book on purpose, The Busy Woman's Guide to Extraordinary Life of Meaning and Success will be on sale October 12, 2021. In addition to having her first book, The Joy of Missing Out being named one of the top 10 business books of the year by Fortune Magazine, Tonya's podcast, The Intentional Advantage has received millions of downloads. She's also featured as an expert on several networks, including NBC, Fox, VIP contributor for entrepreneur.com.

She's been featured in the world's leading publications, including Fast Company, Real Simple and Forbes. She's been awarded the Elite Enterprising Women Award and has been named the female entrepreneur to watch for the state of North Carolina. She's also the CEO of the Inquil Press Productivity Company, a multi-million dollar company providing tools that work as a catalyst in helping women to do less

and achieve maximum success. Holy cow-tania, how do you have time to be here today? Thank you for being here. I'm so excited to be here. We're gonna have a lot of fun today. Okay, first, what is a productivity expert? Because I don't know. I clearly am not one,

but I'm interested to learn from you. Well, it's interesting because honestly, most productivity experts are men. And I am one of the few female productivity experts, which really most traditional productivity experts would say that they teach you how to manage your time, or they to give you best tips for how to be effective or how to be efficient. And I like to give you best tips for how to be effective or how to be efficient.

And I like to say that I'm redefining productivity for women in that productivity is not about doing more. It's doing what's most important. I like to say that I use productivity as kind of the shiny object to get them in the door. And then people come in and I'm like, it's really about being intentional. It's really about being mindful of what we're doing,

really focusing in on what matters most. So that's what I do. I teach people how to use their time in ways that really benefit them, how to really focus their energy, and how to really live their lives so that they're doing the things that matter most of them. Okay, well, this all sounds very good.

And I'm also so impressed with how living a purpose-driven life is very important to you. That's obvious and your work and your writings. However, your business success is nothing to shake a stick at. The fact that you were able to create a multi-million dollar company with three employees in 18 months, I mean, what are some of the strategies that you deployed to achieve that level of success while still having a personal life. Yeah, well, that's the big thing is, you know,

it's not just about growing the business, it's also about still having a thriving personal life, right? We don't, we don't go into business for ourselves so we can work 80, 100 hours a week. What we do is we can have the freedom, lifestyle freedom, time freedom, financial freedom. So really, for me, it really is a lot about the systems, creating systems so that the business works for you,

instead of you feeling like you're constantly working for the business. So really making sure that we have things in place so that things run really smoothly. When I was starting off my business, and we only had the three employees being me, I has been John, who technically works for me, he's my CMO, and then one other part-time employee,

it really was important that I didn't feel like I was doing all the things. And I think that's one of the big things that we, especially as women, feel like we're supposed to do all the things. So, really making sure that I'm giving my time to the different areas of my business that really make the biggest impact. So, like like on Mondays was my marketing day, marketing Mondays, and I would focus it on marketing. I didn't worry about everything else operations and finance and product development. I worried about marketing. On Tuesdays, that was my day to worry about product development and innovations and things like that. Wednesday was a warehouse day where we worked on inventory and stuff like that. So really allowing myself to focus in and arrow in instead of trying to do all the things

at all the same time, that made the biggest difference in growing my business that quickly. Okay, well, I'm going to clearly have to do that because I try to do all the things. And it's funny to your point, Tanya, I was in corporate America for the majority of my life and that, you know, the systems were already in place, right? Because companies have been around for 50 plus years and you're just coming in and leading the company. So those structures are already created far before you get there. You can optimize them, improve them and innovate around it. But I never stop to think, right, you know, from ground zero, what is that right system and structure? So going to work for myself, I always thought the deal was, yeah, you have to work 80 to 100

hours a week for your first few years. If you want to make it, that's somebody served me that story and I was buying it. Yeah, well, I think a lot of people buy that story that in order to succeed, you have to work hard. You have to work yourself to death and you really don't. And it goes back to that whole idea of doing what matters most. And that means in your business, really figuring out what are the key tasks, what are the things that really make the biggest impact. We can apply Perreto principle, which is a principle that's been around since the 1700s. But really, it's that the vital

few make the biggest impact. So figuring out what are the tasks, what are the activities that really make the biggest impact in your business and focusing more of your time on those things. Same thing with our customers and our clients focusing in on those smaller amounts like the bigger clients that are really generating the revenue. You generally like the top 10 to 20% and not spreading ourselves too thin. Same thing with our products and our offerings. Are we offering a thousand different things because we're trying to be everything to everyone else? Or are we really niching in and really servicing a key customer

with products that really are going to make an impact? That allows us to have that thriving personal life while still making massive amounts of money in the office. How do you do that? How do you figure out which are the right products or services to move forward within when? Yeah, well, that's a good question. And this comes down to that whole idea of really you as the leader of your company being the visionary, which means you gotta step back from time to time. You gotta get the birds eye view. I call it the forest view,

because a lot of times we're so deep in the forest, we can't see it because of the trees, right? So stepping back and taking a good look. For example, with my products, what I would do is I would list out all my products on Post-it notes, whether you have products or offerings or whatever it is that you have, listing them out on a Post-it note

and going through and really looking, which of my products are my best sellers? Which ones are giving me the biggest revenue? Okay, what are the ones that are not? Which ones am I spending time on that are generating almost nothing? You'll be shocked when you do that. And then you start getting rid of Post-it notes, getting rid of, you know, those things on your, on your list that aren't really making that impact.

And that's how you really start to dive in and dial in. What about when you are faced with some of these challenging times like we're in now, right? Where things because of outside circumstances, things are changing your business. For example, live events was my main revenue stream. and that's just, you know, that's not non-existent these days. So how do you allow yourself to pivot quickly to adjust to those challenges? Well, I think that's why it's so important to, first of all, understand your North Star. What I call your North Star, your mission, your vision, your core values.

Where is it you want to go? Why is it you do what you do?, where is it you want to go? Why is it you do what you do? And how is it you want to get there? And this ties in with that whole idea of living on purpose, right? Living bigger than today. Where is it you want to go? What is the impact you want to make in your world, not just for yourself, but also for your family and for your clients and your customers?

And then using that as your guide to help you understand what you want, right? And then building in a little bit of grace and a little bit of flexibility. What happens is we have these ideas that we need to create plans that are really, really stringent. First, I'm going to do this, then I'm going to do that. Then this is going to happen. And we have this really like very detailed map created for ourselves. And when we veer off course, because, well, life happens or maybe a pandemic happens or something like that,

we feel like we've failed or we've done wrong and really getting off that path, getting onto that detour, oftentimes brings us to where we're really meant to be. So building in some of that grace into our planning and not having a detailed step by step, by aty-bitty step of exactly what things need to look like. of that grace into our planning and not having, you know, a detailed step by step by itty bitty step of exactly what things need to look like. A lot of times we look around

what everybody else has done and we think our path to success needs to look exactly like theirs. When your path to success needs to look exactly like yours and it's going to be unique and different from anybody else's. Oh, I so agree with you. And you just reminded me of a part in the book on purpose where you talk about and you use an image, which is popped into my mind, of the grace we give others compared to the grace we give ourselves. And it's so much less what we give to ourselves. It is. It's so much less.

We're so willing to. We look at people who put their necks out there and they fail or they try to do something and we're like, wow, they're so amazing. Look how resilient they are. Look how strong they are. And those very same things, if they happen to us, we look at ourselves and go, oh, I'm the worst, right? We give this grace to everybody else that they're just out there trying, but we forget to give that to ourselves. And it's time to really take a look at ourselves with that same kind of viewpoint of when we put our next out there when we try something new and it doesn't quite work out. We haven't really failed because we've added to our little backpack of knowledge.

I like to say, especially as a business owner, we're constantly like adding to our backpack. You know, this did this. It worked. Add it to the backpack. Did this didn't work. Okay. Added some of that to the backpack. Did this? Didn't work. Okay. Added some of that to my backpack. And we start accumulating a lot of knowledge and a lot of skills, not just from the successes, but oftentimes from those failures. That's really where our best learning happens. And then that means that the

next time we go out there, the next time that we take a step towards our purpose, we put our next out there a little bit. We have a little bit of a risk. We have a whole foundation underneath us of experience of knowledge that's going to help us even more. It's going to build momentum. National security experts are warning. Our aging power grid is more vulnerable than ever. January marked a third time at power station. North Carolina was damaged by gunfire.

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to get the visibility and control you need to weather any storm. NetSuite.com slash Monahan to get the visibility and control you need to weather any storm. Netsuite.com slash Monahan. This whole idea of on purpose is so interesting to me. I had a phone call from a friend of mine that I was in the media business with for 20 years and she's still in the media business now. She calls me this morning to say, I think I'm at a point in my life when I want to start living more intentionally. And she said, I'm setting a goal for myself. I said, she life when I want to start living more intentionally.

And she said, I'm setting a goal for myself. I said, oh, she said, I want to do some like more meaningful work. I want to leave legacy. I want more than just a paycheck, right? Which I know is so much about what you talk about. And she said, and I'm going to give myself a goal. And I said, what's that goal? And she said, I'm going to do it in 2022. Tanya, I was so disappointed because this person's always had these ideas of wanting more in the back of her head.

But for some reason, she's stuck. What do you say to those people that they know they want to live on purpose? They know they want more, but they can't bridge that gap. Mm. Yeah, I think being stuck is one of those things that we, we like to blame the universe for, right? Like, oh, I can't move forward because I'm stuck.

I don't know what to do. Honestly, the opposite of stuck is not unstuck. There's not this like magic moment where all of a sudden we're unstuck. The opposite of stuck is action, taking action, itibitiaction, tiny action, little action, small action, just taking action is what helps you start to get unstuck because once you make that first little step, it's easier to make the second step and then the third step and the fourth step and then we have that momentum and then we're able to really move forward. So when someone tells me that they feel stuck, I'm like, okay, let's take a step back. Again, it's really about zooming out and looking at that forest view.

Where are you right now with your life? What do you think is holding you back? And then how can we look at that from all the different angles to figure out a way around it? Any time we get to an obstacle, we have a choice, right? And when I picture an obstacle in my mind, I picture it as just like wall right in front of me. So when I hit a wall and we all hit walls, I don't care how successful you are, how successful you've been in the past, we all hit obstacles from time to time. My choices at that point, when I hit an obstacle are,

I can go around the wall, I can climb over the wall, I can tunnel underneath it, or I can pour some gasoline on that wall and light it on fire and burn it down to the ground. It's ultimately up to me, but a lot of times we see that wall and we think there are no choices. And right there, I just talked about what four or five choices we get. So really understanding that anytime we have an obstacle, it's an opportunity. How can we shift this and start looking at it from different angles and figure out one small thing we can do to move

forward? Oh, that reminds me of the obstacle is the way of Ryan Holiday, which I completely love and couldn't agree with you more. Focus on the solution. There's always a way around it over it or underneath it. So very well said. Thank you for that. One of the things that you did in this book that I am a big fan of is separating the book into four different sections around reflection, projection, action, and alteration, which I was hoping you could give us at a high level, just some insight into why you did that and how it works. Yeah, well, to me, those four steps, those four actions really are the basis for any goal,

any dream, any big aspiration. So we start with that first step of reflection. You have to look backwards in order to move forwards because honestly, sometimes you have to see the bread crumbs of where you've been to understand how far you can go. And I think reflection is so important because it answers that question of why. Why do I want what I do?

Why do I think I want more? Why is it I am built the way I am? And I think when it comes to reflection, it's really easy to look at all the shiny trophies, all the things that we did well, all the things that were like, we're really proud of. Honestly, it's the things we don't like. It's the areas of trauma and failure and frustration.

Those are even more important to look at when we think about reflection. Because when we know what we don't want, it's so much easier to push against that into what we actually do want. I like to tell people that failure is probably one of the most fertile grounds that we can grow from.

So we start there with reflection, really understanding who we are and why we want what we do. And once we understand that, we move into that next section, which is projection. And projection answers what? Reflection answers why? Projection answers what? Okay, what is it I want to do? Right? Like okay now I

know why I do the things I do. What is it exactly that I want? And a lot of times again we look left and we look right and we crane our necks over the fence trying to figure out what everybody else is doing and we think that's what we should be doing. Well now that you know why you are the way you are, let's figure out what it is that really fits what you want, what's unique to you. And so we project forward into the future and figure out what it is that might possibly look like.

And then we get to the third section, we have reflection, and we have projection, and then we have action. And action answers the question, how, okay, now I know why I am the way I am. I know what it is I want, how in the world do I get there? How do I create a little map for myself so I can move forward? So that's where we talk about creating an action roadmap.

Really understanding how we can build in our goals so they actually work for us. And then that last section is alteration. Alteration answers the question, what is, what is life happens? What if I bear off track? What if I have to take a detour because you're going to from time to time. As we mentioned, every one of us faces obstacles and detours. That's not unique to any of us. So we need to be prepared for that. And we can't plan ahead for what every obstacle is going to look like, but we can prepare for how we're going to react to them and how we can take action once those obstacles appear. So we reflection, we do projection, then action, and alteration is woven in throughout all of those steps.

Oh my gosh, that's so good and so powerful. You mentioned when you were describing the four sections that when we reflect back, sometimes we'll see behaviors or patterns that we don't like that maybe didn't serve us well. How do you recommend we remove ourselves from repeating those patterns? I love that question because to be honest with you, I think reflection is one of the most important things we can do, especially if you own a business, I build reflection in, so I'm doing it at least every quarter, if not more often, like a deep day of reflection to see where I've been. What we want to do is we want to look back at where we've been, and we want to look back without judgment. So I can share with you an example of how I've used this for myself in my own business, if you'd like, because I think it's really powerful to understand that the things we don't like, the things that are painful really can't push us forward.

So for me, I have physical products that I sell, and several years back, I had a shipment that came in. Thousands and thousands and thousands of products filling literally the warehouse from like floor to ceiling, all the wall jam packed. And I was very excited. Part of it was there early, ready for launch, everything else, opened up the first box, everything inside was damaged. Every single item, I opened up a second box,

a third box, a fourth box, a 20th box, a hundredth box. Everything is damaged. Now, that's the time where I could crumple into a heap or I can say, okay, alteration, we're gonna figure out what we're gonna do. And I did, we called it the Great Frankenstein Project. I called what I could to make it work. I reordered what I needed to. We couldn't get everything done at the manufacturer, so we had to Frankenstein everything ourselves. And so we spent we being me and my husband,

we spent 60, 80, 100 hours a week during that three month period working every single day, seven days a week at the warehouse. Because I knew that if I just crumpled up in a ball and said all these products are destroyed, I would have lost my business. It would have just never taken off from there. So I spent every day at the warehouse. The kids would get off the school bus. They'd go to the warehouse. We would spend weekends at the warehouse, we would eat dinner at the warehouse. We got to the end of that season in my life and I wanted to stop and reflect and the reflection process told me I was the world's worst mother. I felt terrible. I felt awful. I was like, this is not the kind of

parent I want to be where my kids are literally not doing anything after school, they're not doing anything fun, we're eating fast food in the warehouse because we're working nonstop. And I very easily could have used as an opportunity to just continue to beat myself about what a bad mom I was. That was the moment because I knew that's not what I want. How can I push against that to create what I do want? I made a decision after that season in my life that I was going to leave work every day, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday at three o'clock. No questions asked.

I leave work at three o'clock. On Fridays, I'm not gonna work. So I'm just gonna work four days a week, till three o'clock. So that way I can really focus in on my family and put on my mom hat in the afternoons when the kids are ready for homework and snacks and those kinds of things.

And I made that decision several years ago and here I am years later still holding those boundaries, really holding strong to when I work and when I don't work. And if I hadn't gotten to that point where I reflected and looked at that painful moment, I may not be where I am now, where I am running a business on my own terms, running a seven figure business, not working seven days a week, but working four days a week, so three o'clock. Okay, first of all, the struggle is real, and I so feel for you on that whole Frankenstein event. I would have definitely been shedding some tears,

so I completely empathize. I'm sure, right? That's so frustrating, and it's a hard, hard hit. However, I completely understand that you had, in those windows of time, it's a hard hard hit. However, I completely understand that you had in those windows of time, it's a grind and you know there isn't and it's temporary and that you can get through it, right? I also personally believe your kids learned a massive business lessons from being involved in that. Absolutely. I think that's a big thing too that you know a lot of times we as women feel like we have to do all the shoring, all the holding up, all the foundation, we have to hold everybody else up. And really, I'm a big advocate for bringing your kids into your work, bringing your kids into your business, really letting them understand what you do on a daily basis, the trials,

the tribulations, the successes and the celebrations, all of that. When I talk about my business, I talk about it as our business, which is why you'll hear me say, we all the time. Because it's not just my business, even though I'm the sole owner of the business, it belongs to my family, it belongs to all of us. So really letting my kids be a part of that has made a huge difference for us.

I think as women, we have such a unique position in that we are able to really create new models for what women are capable of for our daughters. But I also think we're able to create new models of what women are capable of to our sons. I've got one of each. And so they have a really unique perspective as far as what women do for a living. My son thinks that all women are CEOs.

And if they're capable, they're able to run the show no matter what. And I think that's really powerful. Oh, I do too. I think that they're getting an MBA program by being in the warehouse with you. So congratulations on that one. That's my opinion. Now, you know, it sounds amazing what you did. You made this shift to say, okay, I'm changing my schedule. I'm going to create boundaries so I can show up as the mom that I want to be. However, I hear that, Tonya, and I'm petrified for you because I can't imagine how scary. This is just how I think, oh my gosh, to make that decision, how much revenue am I going to let go of? How much business opportunity? Did you go through those feelings when you made that shift?

Well, I'm going to be honest, it's not easy to make a shift like that, but you know, we touched on that whole idea of your North Star earlier, your mission, your vision and your core values. One of my core values is family. So I knew that I needed family to be front and center, not just for me, but also for my employees as well, where family could be front and center for them as well, because by the way, my team also doesn't work on Fridays.

We do Fridays off because they're able to really spend time with their families. It was scary. That's not something we can enter into lightly, but at the same time, I knew that if I continued doing things the way I had been doing them, I wasn't going to be living that life on my terms. I went into business for myself because I wanted to have lifestyle freedom. I wanted to have lifestyle freedom. I wanted to have time freedom. And if I have chained myself to the warehouse or the computer or whatever it

is that I've chained myself to because of a story I'm telling myself about what a good entrepreneur does or a good boss does or what a good mom does, I've lost all those opportunities for freedom. So again, you can look at time as an obstacle that I only have a certain number of hours in the day, certain number of hours in the week, 168. I look at that as an opportunity. You have 168 hours every week to do with as you wish. And again, if you go back to that whole idea we talked about earlier with the Pareto principle of figuring out who are your key clients, what are your key products? You're not doing as much. You're doing fewer things.

You're doing them better. You're doing them in a way that fulfills you. And you're making a lot more money. Oh, I love that. All right, I've got to be implementing this ASAP as soon as we disconnect today. I'm on it. So you share a lot of great exercises and strategies in on purpose. One of the concepts that you share that was new to me

is habit stacking and I was hoping you could share a little bit about that. Yes, well, you know, I think sometimes we hear that word habit and we think about biting our nails or things that are not good, but habits can be really good things, things that are really healthy for us, things that get us closer to that life we want. A lot of times we look at these people who we think are accomplishing amazing things and we're like, oh, they have amazing willpower. They have great discipline. I just don't have that willpower.

And I'm here to say willpower doesn't exist. There is no discipline. It's just creating healthy habits for yourself. That's what most of those people have done is they've created healthy habits for themselves that they do without even thinking about it. There's just things that habits are things that we do on autopilot, right? You should know what that means already. That's the best kind of notification. That's the sound

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New episodes drop every Monday and Thursday. Find the Millionaire University on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcast. This episode is brought to you by Taukaya Tree. Talking about mental health isn't always easy. Finding care should be. by Taukaya Tree. Talking about mental health isn't always easy. Finding care should be. Meet Taukaya Tree. They offer virtual in-network psychiatry to treat the most common mental health conditions,

like depression, anxiety, OCD, and trauma. Within a week, they can match you with a doctor who takes insurance and takes the time to listen. Get started at Taukaya Tree.com slash start. That's T-A-L-K-I-A-T-R-Y.com slash start. So if you want to create some healthy habits for yourself, bad habits are really easy to stick to. The healthier ones take a little bit of intentionality.

So you choose the habits that you want to focus in on. And then you think about what's a habit I'm already doing. What's something that I already do on a regular basis that I could stack on top of? So say, for example, every morning, you get yourself a cup of coffee. It's something that you just do. You don't think about.

You don't question it. You just get up and you get your cup of coffee, right? Well, you could say to yourself, what's a healthy habit? I want to stack on top of that. Let's say meditation is something you really want to do. What if you made the decision that, okay, I go to get my coffee and then I'm going to stack on top of that habit.

That's a habit I'm already doing. Right next to my coffee maker, I'm going to place my meditation app or I'm going to place my, you know, Tibetan bowls or whatever it is. I'm going to put it right next to the coffee maker. So when I go there and I'm going there already, because that's already a habit. It's right there. And I know, okay, this is what I do next. And then I just create this healthy habit of I get my coffee, then I go to my meditation or if it's journaling, put your journal right there.

But really make it so it's an easier way to get started because you already have a habit. You're already doing. So you just follow it up with something else that you really want to do on top of that. Okay, this is crazy. It's like you have a hidden camera in my apartment because everything you just described is identified chance, I didn't do it by design, which so much about on purpose, it is about being intentional.

And I just fell into this, but same thing you were saying, I wanted to start meditating and there isn't a good time in the day, because once I get out the door to get my son to school, I'm home and I go to work out and it's grace back to work. There just wasn't that window. However, somehow, I thought of, what about in that window when he's in the shower in the morning and I'm drinking my coffee? I decided to bring my coffee with me to my couch with my headspace app, open on my phone.

And at least even if it was just for four minutes, it was something into me doing something good for me was better than nothing. Yes, I mean, that's the thing is we think, you know, if I want to meditate, it has to be for like 45 minutes. No, no, no, no, let's throw that whole idea out the window for minutes counts.

You know, we have this whole idea that in order to do something big, it has to be these big things, right? As we said earlier, it's the small steps, four minute meditation. And I can guarantee that four minutes makes a big difference, right? And then eventually, maybe you'll find that you want to build on it. Maybe you won't. And either one is okay. But I love that that's exactly what you're doing. You're right. I must have a hidden camera. Oh gosh, I hope not because I'm always thinking I'm on punk somehow and it's going to be like something's going to show up in my house on TV. Okay, when you think back to on purpose and why you created it and what this was all about

for you, what is it that you ultimately want people to leave having read the book, feeling understanding and doing? Yes, well, what I want, first of all, is I want women to feel successful. I think far too many women are chasing busy. We're doing everything we think we're supposed to be doing, or we should be doing. We're checking a million things off our to-do list, running ourselves ragged, doing this, and that,

and everything, and anything, and just running ourselves crazy. And then we fall into bed at night, we're exhausted, and we are just frustrated. And our head is a pillow and we go, ugh, why didn't I get more done? Right? Even though you were busy all day long, even though you checked a thousand things

off your to-do list. Why didn't I get more done? Or I'm the worst, I didn't do nearly enough. Here's the truth. If we do things that matter to us, if we focus in on our priorities, if we do fewer things with more intention, that's when we fall into bed at night and say, you know what? Today was an amazing day. That would

be a question I'd like your listeners to think about. When is the last time that you went to bed and thought, good work today? You're amazing. You're incredible. Because far too many women are not saying that to themselves at all. So really, that's what I want. I want women to feel more accomplished. I want women to feel more accomplished. I want them to feel more energized for life as a whole because I feel like we live so much of life on repeat doing things that we think we're supposed to be doing that we miss finding the happiness and the joy that's right there in our everyday moments. I think there is joy and happiness that is hidden in cracks and crevices in our everyday

life when we slow down, when we live life with intention, when we create time, so it works for us, not against us. That's really when we have that feeling of satisfaction. That's when we have that happiness that we're all chasing after. That's funny. You say that this morning was very stressful morning, you know, running, running, running in no time and I could feel my anxiety coming on as I'm getting in the car to make sure

we make it to the bus to the deadline. So he gets to school on time. But now that when you're saying that and expressing the importance of gratitude and finding that happiness, I'm thinking of the funny things that he'll say in the car or whatever that kind of reminds you, like, I'm so lucky. I have such a great

kid and what a blessing in this life. But sometimes we lose that in the anxious moments and running to catch the bus or hit that deadline. Oh, without question, without question. And I think for many people, the life we have now, a lot of the things in our life that add stress were things that we once dreamed of, the things we once wished for and aspired for, you know, like your kids and, you know, the whole idea of taking them to the bus was probably something that was really ideal like long ago in the throws of real motherhood. It's a stressful mess. It's, it's a tough gauntlet some mornings, especially when they don't get out of bed. Trust me,

I totally get that. But there are just these little moments if you slow down and it's like that little funny comment they made or that look They gave you or the you know There's so much of that that we miss because we're so busy Rushing rushing rushing and hurrying out the door Well, you also just reminded me that one year ago my son was on virtual school And I prayed for the day that I would be rushing out the door at 6 a.m. To get him on a bus truly You just reminded me of that one

year ago I was praying for today. And then today I was almost having an anxiety attack as I was so stressed out about it. So thank you for that. I'm going to reflect and I'm going to remind him about that to this afternoon when you get home. I love it. I love it because I think that's so true. It's really easy to get get caught up in the busyness of our every days when when really there are these little pockets, these little little moments that we really are filled with happiness. We just have to slow down a little bit. Can we can we stop feeling like the need to hustle? Can we stop feeling like we have to do more and choose what we want to do? That's that's really what living on

purpose is all about. It's not about changing who you are. It's rising up and becoming the best version of you. Oh, I love this. So everyone's going to want to check out on purpose. Where can they find it? It's available anywhere. Books are sold starting on October 12th. You can also get information on pre-ordering it. If this comes out before it comes out at taunya-dolton.com slash on purpose. It would be a great place to find all the places where you can find on purpose. Taunya, thank you to find all the places where you can find on purpose. Tanya, thank you so much for this reminder today. I appreciate you helping all of us live on purpose

and making this world a better place. Absolutely, this is a lot of fun. Okay guys, until next week, keep creating your confidence. I love my girl, I decided to change that time here. And I want to go out. I couldn't be more excited for what you're doing this episode so far. I'm Jennifer Cohen, host the top ranking business and entrepreneur podcast Habits and Hustle, apart the YAP media network, the number one business and self-improvement podcast network. So most people live the life they

get and not the life they want, and I'm here to change all that. My goal with each episode is to give you the habit and hustle tips you need to show up to your life better, bigger, and bolder. Tune in now, and I'll not only help you answer the questions like, what do you want most in life and why don't you have it, but we'll also help you make it a reality. I also picked the brains of top thought leaders on how they've gone to the top and the advice they have to help you get there too. Head over to Habitson Hustle. Once you've done listening to this episode and get one step closer to boldness, one episode at a time.

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