Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - Listener Favorite: Get UNSTUCK From Your Negative Thoughts with Trish Blackwell Top-Ranked Podcast Host & Confidence Coach Episode 313

Episode Date: April 18, 2023

Have you been wanting to work with me? My annual Elite Mastermind is open NOW! Click the link below to learn more and apply now if you are ready to go to the next level! https://bit.ly/hm-cc-mastermind  In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Being comfortable in your skin Understanding your fears Becoming your own mentor  Addressing your negative thoughts Resources: Website: https://www.trishblackwell.com/  Read Straighten Your Crown Listen to The Confidence Podcast Join The College of Confidence Youtube: @Trish Blackwell Instagram: @trish_blackwell Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Start your Free Month of Thinkific Plus at: thinkific.com/confidence  If you’ve been sizing NetSuite up to make the switch then you know this deal is unprecedented - no interest, no payments - take advantage of this special financing offer at NetSuite.com/MONAHAN  Show Notes:  If there is one thing we are all about here, it is building your CONFIDENCE! So it is absolutely amazing that today we have on the show a massively influential confidence coach and one of the original confidence-creating podcasters, Trish Blackwell! Trish is here to share her unique perspective on building confidence, starting with challenging negative self-talk. Our thoughts have so much to do with how we feel about ourselves. Start thinking about your thinking and become unstuck from the negative spiral. It is time to straighten your crown and start living as the confident, intelligent, and incredible person you are!  About The Guest: Trish Blackwell is an expert at empowering people to get past self-doubt, overcome self-limiting beliefs and perform at their highest levels. Confidence coach to Olympic and professional athletes, Ironman champions, CEOs, high-achieving entrepreneurs, and cultural influencers, she has been featured by TLC, Entrepreneur and Elite Daily as one of the top confidence coaches in the world. Her approach to confidence has equipped and empowered an audience of over 3 million people worldwide through her top-ranked podcast The Confidence Podcast, her books, her coaching and her online confidence university, The College of Confidence, also considered "the most encouraging place on the Internet."  If You Liked This Episode You Might Also Like These Episodes: How to turn Perfectionism into POWER! With Katherine Morgan Schafler, Psychotherapist & Author  Heather answers YOUR questions!  Dream BIG & Bet On YOURSELF! With Candace Nelson The Founder Of Sprinkles Cupcakes  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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feeling. I have emotional intelligence. Competence isn't what I believe it's a skill, but it's also very much an emotion. It's also a mindset that you'll put in lots of different categories, but if you really want to master confidence, we've got to master emotional intelligence. I don't want just a successful life, I want a beautiful life, and I believe that emotions allow that. Gotta be willing to feel it, gotta be brave. So you can be brave in all these things going up and being bold, being on stage, closing huge deals, but the next level of bravery is the emotional bravery. And then I mean, what's available to use nuts? I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals.

If I come at diversity, it's at you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close time. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so excited for you to meet my new friend, Trish Blackwell. She's an expert in powering people to get past self-doubt, overcome self-limiting beliefs, and perform at their highest level. She's our kind of people.

Confidence coach to Olympic and professional athletes. Ironman champion, CEOs, high achieving entrepreneurs, and cultural influencers. She's been featured by TLC, Forbes, Entrepreneur, and Elite Daily as one of the top confidence coaches in the world. Her approach to confidence has equipped and empowered an audience of over, get ready for it, 3.5 million people worldwide through her top ranked podcast, the confidence podcast, her books, her coaching, and her online confidence university. The College of Confidence also considered the most encouraging place on the internet. She lives in Washington, DC with her husband

and two young children. Trish, thank you so much for being here. Well, I'm so excited to be here. So thank you for having me. I'm excited for our new friendship. You're the best. I'm loving. I love what women are doing in the world.

And so to partner and collaborate alongside other women who are my people, like you said, hello. Well, if I want to give everybody a little behind the scenes on that. So for me, maybe like a month ago, another female podcast were reached out to me. And she said, hey, I know that some people might see you and I as competitive, we're in the same arena,

whatever, I don't see it that way. She said, I think it would be cool if you come on my show. I'll come on yours. And if our listeners like the same arena, whatever I don't see it that way. She said, I think it would be cool. If you come on my show, I'll come on yours. And if our listeners like the other person, they'll go follow them and then we both grow and touch more people. It's a positive. So I said, you and DM doing the same thing because I knew your podcast is so big

and it's on the same topic as my podcast. But I thought, let's see, you know, if she's not like minded, that's not the right person for me to partner with. But immediately you were like, oh my gosh, great idea. Yes, let's work together. And it's so Exciting to see people not competing, but instead saying how can we help one another to help more people? I okay. And so you and I already connected on how we're both like when I say I'm competitive. I'm like, like, it's, it's, I've been in therapy to like get it down and like in control, right? And it's, and it's a great thing. So I have loved what some mentors in my life have just like, I don't believe in competition.

I believe in competition for your own sake, but I believe in collaboration and competition when you're feeling like you have competitors, especially in business. I'm like, that's just insecurity. Like a couple of, we are in the field of confidence. And it's so interesting because to relay that scenario, I'm like, that's just insecurity. Like a couple of where in the field of confidence, and it's so interesting, because to relay that scenario about a year, a glidery shout to a fellow feedback podcaster also in our, our sphere,

and she very much rejected me and went like, this so when you reached out, I was like, someone who's like me, okay, she's nice. Like, I think I had been so dejected from some of that, and I went, well, I'm just gonna keep loving people. And the more we collaborate, the more we serve people. Furthermore, I know the topics on podcasts, especially that I jam out on. I listened to like five or six different shows that cover the same topic. And they all serve me in a very different way. And I often purchase from all those people because they mean something different. And it's like when

when people put that together and you're like, you literally, I, I so grateful for the people who share other people with me that I want to do that in this world too. You bring up such a great point that it's something that I've really only become aware of in the last couple of years. Everyone can be bringing the same message to light, but you're doing it through the lens of your experience. What's important to you, your priorities and expertise, which is going to be different than mine, right? So like you said, we can all speak to how to advance people, how to get them to the next level, how to get the most out of them, how to get them to the next level of confidence, but it's going to be a different approach, so to resonate in different ways with different people. And they're all needed. Oh, so true. Yes. When we get out of that comparative toxic cycle

of trying to be better or trying to look better in these vanity metrics, and you're like, wait, wait, wait, where was the heart behind this and the purpose? Because people see the authenticity. And they know if you actually care about them. And it's furthermore, if you're showing them this world to make the world better, it's not actually about you. But we get into, we get, you start looking around, you get out of your lane, just looking,

I was a swimmer, and if I ever, even my peripheral vision looks over, girl, I lost the race. I was also a sprinter. And so like, I have to be forward and like on the black line, and that's it, and I even care about where my competitor is in a race. I've lost it. I've lost my race because I didn't have my mind in my own lane. And yet, we live in a world that we're constantly comparing. We are scroll on social media. We're being told. And what happens is we actually, we're shooting ourselves in the foot because our subconscious is hearing messages of comparison and criticism and competition from a striving hustle

versus insecurity sense. Let me prove myself, make my way versus, I have a long here, this sense of ease and like, I'm made for this. I'm gonna go help people. And such a different energy, right? And I think a lot of people when we start our businesses, I think you start with that hustle energy of like,

I'm gonna make it. And then you really hit your stride when you trust that you belong. You trust that in the compound effect of your efforts. It's kind of cool to watch that grow. I even look at my own journey and go, how it's cool, like you literally can see each transformation of just going acceptance

and competence in what you're doing. As you make massive mistakes and figure it out, but it's kind of, and you look at it as a game, it's really fun. How did you get into this line of work? I mean, how does someone get into this confidence game? I'll give you the super nutshell. So super nutshell, highly competitive athlete

was only big track myself and then self-sabotaged by overthinking. And so I would have coaches be like, Trish, you got so much potential. But we needed to try to stop trying so hard. Hey, what we want you to do is just stop thinking. And I'm like, okay, so you're telling me to stop thinking and all I can do is think.

And so I got really fascinated in that. And I started through college and I studied linguistics. So I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna go live in Europe. But this whole time, Zahaja Chiefer had an eating disorder that was behind the scenes and a lot of perfectionistic tendencies, which we have already talked about,

is just a big, old, pretty bow for fear. And when I lived in France, I was like, hold up. They know something that I don't. And so I got so interested in the linguistics of it. And I can remember very distinctly sitting at this cafe. And I went from being somebody who had my days booked as a collegiate athlete from like 4am to like, you know, 11pm. And then I go to France to teach English and they're like, you know, we don't need school today. And come have a glass of wine at lunch. I mean, it really was this like very

stereotypical French experience of like here. We're going to pay you full time, but really, you need to work about 10 hours a week. So go have fun. I went from literally my whole life had been over booked. So now I found free time, and it was my first opportunity to go, well, how do you wanna live your life? And what is important to you? And why are you hustling?

What does it look like to sit with your, and at this point, there were not smartphones, right? I had a dictionary and a notebook, and I would just sit in a cafe and watch people go by and be like, oh, I don't know that vocabulary word for a scarf. Let me look that up. Like, that's how I passed time. I know it's only that experience changed my life because one day I was looking and I was feeling really insecure and I had been self-critical about my body and kind of what am I doing with my life. And I was like, huh, always women, they're so beautiful, they're so confident. Like, I was like, I'm so in admiration of them.

And it wasn't because, I think in the US, I was like, oh, it's because she looks like this and this and this and this and she wears this. But there, I was like, well, that was 20 pounds every way. And that woman's five pounds underweight. And that woman has a completely like goth style. And this woman's very perusion sheep,

but they're all gorgeous. What? Like, that blew my mind. And then I was like, what is it? And I was like, it's confidence. That's what I want. And I'm a whole life. I come up as like super outgoing, you know, type A team

captain, like that achiever, I can flexible with everything. And so I'm technically on a surface very confident. But I looked at these and I'm like, huh, these women have a different type of confidence than I do. And I looked up a French word. Now, you can't say in French to have confidence. You can use the word confident, but that they don't really say it. What's more colloquial used is the phrase, et très bien dans ce pot, which means to be well in your skin.

So they don't want to say, elle est confident. They would say, elle est bien dans ce pot, meaning she's well in her skin. And I'm like, oh, I'm not well in my skin. How do I get that? Like, how do I become comfortable in the skin of men? And then that start, and it went back to U.S. became a personal trainer.

And then in my training, I realized, look, I can get anyone to lose 100 pounds. I can get anyone to lose five pounds and look amazing. But if I can't change their thoughts, they can hold it, they'll look good for a month and then go back. And that's where I was like, okay, this is a moron to something. I was interested in the brain transformation. And so that got down me, got me down the path of coaching. And at that time, I started my podcast, I started writing,

and I was like, okay, something. I'm really well and broadly educated. And I don't know how to do this stuff. Where are we not having conversations? How are we not teaching people to think about their thoughts? Like as sports psychologist at division one school, I was just told to stop thinking. If that's what the help I was got, I'm at this elite level and these elite people are going, yeah just, you know, just in visualization and I'm, I mean again, I had access to such great resources and that's what I got. I'm like, just, you know, just some visualization. And I'm, I mean, again, I had access to such great resources. And that's what I got. I went, okay, there's got to be a better path.

What's, and what's very cool is, you know, though, you know, oh, you're like, I love something, and I don't know why it makes sense. The whole time when I was in college, I majored in French and Spanish. So, you know, why? I don't know. It's just like, that's my passion.

I just was like, I know I'm supposed to do things with words. I just know it was evident to me. Like, God had just like, that's my passion. I just was like, I know I'm supposed to do things with words. I just know it was evident to me, like God had been like, yep, study words. I don't wanna be a teacher. I don't want anything to, I thought maybe I'll go work with CIA, do linguistics. And what was so cool about it was, I was like, why are you majoring in that?

Like you should go be a doctor. And I was like, I don't know, I just love dictionaries and words and looking them up in different languages. Like I just, like, and you know what's so cool? It not makes sense. I've incredibly expensive education, but it is 100% what I do in confidence. In my coaching, I, I, you were to ask me, what do I do in my podcast and my coaching and my work? I help people look at the words their brain uses and help them find different words for them.

That's all that is. Right. If we look at what mindset is, we are changing the language of the way our brain thinks. Where if you go to, you know, the neuroplasticity of the brain and creating new neural pathways, all we're trying to do, I really believe in the life coaching that I do. Hey, what is, what are the words you currently think?

What are the default thoughts you have? Let's really seek to understand them. First, we have to undercut the emotions. I mean, let's get beyond a self-criticism, get beyond the insecurity. Find out what's the thought behind that. And now let's use a different language to get a different result and communicate to our future in a different way. And I was like, oh my gosh, it's so cool that this whole time, when my parents were like, are you sure you want to do this? You sure we should be studying French? But I just knew

deep down. I'm like, I'm called to words. And to be able to use that now a full time. I'm like, I'm called towards. And to be able to use that now full time. I'm like, that is what kind of got me down the rabbit all along the way. I've just been blessed to have some friends to be like, hey, there's this new thing called podcasting. I think you should do it. I'm like, fool. All right, I mean, I kind of always had a mentor

who said, thrust me getting in the lawn, see what sticks. And I never thought of it as a business. I just thought, if it helps people, okay, that might be cool. Of course, I didn't get over like, I don't know the technology. I don't know if I can talk about anything. I mean, just, but I had enough people go, hey, I think you should try it. And I was at that time single. And I went, all right, I got time. Let's do it. And so, but it was, you know, I started my podcast in like 2013. Oh, good for you. That is so great. Well what's crazy is it was like it was at a time when I was working in a gym with like you know 3000 people who came through

a day. So very high volume, very cool, great social thing. And everyone would be like, how's that it's almost like that joke of like how's that book going? Like for some, he's not writing a book, but they say they are. Oh that podcast. Oh right. How do you do that? How do you find a like no one knew what podcasts for, you know? So I'm loving that we're a day and age that people do. So it's got full circle. Yeah, but that's a little bit more. You got in at the right time.

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like someone that you worked with and what does that look like and what are those words like? Well, let's see so in Helping someone Understand why they're sabotaging their own success So I work with a lot of high achievers who then there's guilt of success, right? Hey, I'm doing so much better than everyone else is it wrong for me to want more and so first We so understanding helping them identify, I move the motions, like what is that guilt that you're feeling?

Is it guilt? They wouldn't identify. I just, well, I think I'm enough. I should settle here. And understanding, no, there's emotion and going into what is behind, because if your thoughts create your feelings and your feelings create your actions,

your actions create your results in life, everything goes back to the brain, to the thought. And so what so many people just brush through the emotion and they don't identify. So, if we want to identify one specific emotion, so it's guilt or overwhelm. Let's go, overwhelm is maybe an easier example to work with. I don't know, I'm just feeling so overwhelmed. Okay, so we can't allow that. And the overwhelm, what overwhelm will do is it confuses you.

It's an adult in emotion that when you're looking, especially if you look at a business project or growth project or weight loss or anything that you actually care about, it's very easy to feel overwhelmed. It feels unsurmountable and then you're like, I don't even know where to start. And we allow ourselves that cop out. When really, overwhelmed just clouds your thoughts.

And I think about confidence as having clarity of thought. When it's cloudy, it's foggy. It's very hard to move forward. So overwhelm is the emotion. And so often we go, it's just my thought. And behind the overwhelm is typically fear. It really goes back to identifying what is the fear. And if you were honest, I can tell myself, I, here's a good scenario. Last time I was overwhelmed, my husband said, well, what are you overwhelmed about? I remember being very exasperated. I was like, you wouldn't understand. It's like 15 things. And he was like, well, what are they? And I was like, well, and girl, once I like listened them out,

it was like four things. And then they were very manageable. And then I put them in words. And then ultimately behind that, I said, oh, I think I'm afraid that, blah, and whatever it was. And so if you break down that first you break down the emotion, why are you feeling the emotion? And now what are the thought?

What is the thought, the driving thought? Often with overwhelm, I'm afraid I'm not enough to do what it takes. Or I'm afraid that I might go and embarrass myself and everyone's going to remember. And then when you have that, you can then talk back to it very directly to that thought, to create the freedom to go have that courage to go and go, what's the worst thing that could happen? I think you and I, because we have enough competency of practice of knowing, all right, I feel fear. I also can go right to the worst case scenario and know, okay, what's the worst that can happen? Can I handle that? Yes, I can handle that. I can move forward. I think a lot of people can cognitively get that conceptually,

but to get to the emotional ability to move through it, if you've never done it before, I think it's really helpful to go into breaking it down past the emotion to the thought and go, oh, you're afraid of that? No, you have your, your high yourself, your future self answer that with a better sentence, with a better reframe. And the reframes of language aren't necessarily this positive reframe. Like we're not like, I'm afraid,

I don't need to be afraid. Sometimes you can be as simple as, I'm really stressed, stress is a choice. Sometimes you can speak very directly to yourself and kind of get yourself out of your own way. But then sometimes it's teaching yourself, how to talk to yourself as a friend as the mentor you need at that moment.

Because so often we're just waiting for permission to say, is it okay to not feel this way? Or is it okay to feel this way? Can you tell me this will pass? Or as I think you've mentioned, oh, I feel really anxious about this opportunity. Oh, no, you don't, girl, it's just excitement. That's it. Like I have a seven year old, right? And I often think about this when you break down confidence and bot patterns into how would I talk to Ellie? Because right, she's like, oh, blah, blah. And you're like, no, girl, that's we're supposed to feel.

That's just your brain being normal, being human. You're supposed to feel really a little bit nervous about that girl scout presentation. Of course, it just means you care. And so giving new language to the thought that's already there, it doesn't negate that you feel that way or that you're thinking it or that it's wrong to think it, it gives your permission to go to not get stuck in it. I think we get to stuck at our thoughts.

Oh, that is so true. And I just, I love the way that you explained it. It's such a different way than I've ever heard it. Now, you also mentioned that you talk back to negative thoughts and anxiety. What is talking back to you? So I look at my thoughts and I preach and I think this is what's so funny. Again, nerd alert. It goes back to me when I lived in Europe

where I would have my, and this was me again before phones. I'm so thankful for translation apps now, but my Spanish, I had Spanish. I was trying to teach myself Chinese. I had my Chinese dictionary, my Spanish dictionary, my French dictionary, and my little journal. And so it was cool because I kind of got to a point

where I was like, oh, how would I say this in this? How would I say this in this? Same language, same sentence, different languages. And I had the practice of learning how to have a conversation with myself, even though I was saying the same thing. And I think that's what we do when we talk back to a thought. We almost neutralize it, almost personify the thought

and go, hey, thought, oh, that's interesting that you say that. It could also be this instead. Here's a different translation of that. I mean, we certainly can do this that loud. I encourage people to do this with pen and paper or with daily journaling. I look at journaling and thought reframe,

not as a nice to have and not as this like descriptive today I did this. It's, I think it's very much like brushing your brain. Like we brush our teeth, and we're not, we're not upset that we do brush our teeth every day. But I think some people are really like, wait, so you're telling me to be confident and have an amazing mindset. I have to journal every day.

Like, yeah, like three minutes, like a four minute thing. Like write your visualization, write your affirmation, and reframe a thought. Teach yourself to talk back to a thought, right? And it can be so simple as simply going, hey, what am I actually thinking? I think that's the other key. What is it that I'm actually thinking?

I like to go to little Trish and go, hey, little Trish, like, what are you actually thinking? Or another key kind of a good way to get my brain to know what I'm thinking. Again, keep in mind, I was the worst sports psychologist patient possible, because I couldn't think about, I couldn't even identify what I was thinking. So for me to identify when I'm thinking off

and say, Trish, what's bothering you? And then I can go, oh, I'm really irritated about, and then I can go, oh, man, can like, we've taken knowledge of the thought. Yeah, that it does stink, but, and almost like a friend talks back to it, you can learn to talk back to your thoughts. Another way you can talk back to a negative thought, or specifically an anxious thought,

is that's effective for me and a lot of the people I coach, is I like to personify my old, like old Trish, the one who has these anxious thoughts, the fear thoughts as either Trish 1.0, and then my future Trish, the Trish on me coming is Trish 2.0, like that upgrade, or even better, I like, cause my thoughts can be trashy,

like really fear-based, let's just call it trash. So Trishy Trish, and then Trimed is Trish, or I mean, I like alliteration. It's the ability to go, oh, that's just trashy trash showing up again with some ridiculous fear. I don't need to camp out there. I kind of think of trashy trash as the most insecure, like eighth grade version of me who never fit in,

like people are looking at, like, and I can see her and go and have compassion for her. She's just scared. Whereas I think before I knew how to do some of these techniques, I would be like, oh, you're not supposed to be negative. You're so positive. Like I tried to sort of whitenuckle it. I'm like, the leader, I shouldn't break.

And I'm like, well, I can just have compassion that I have a human brain. And sometimes my human brain is going to offer me very negative suggestions. And sometimes they're going to feel very intense and real. And I can either camp out with them, because where you camp out is what you activate, right? Because your thoughts are going to create your feelings,

feelings for your results. Or you can just go, hey, trashy trash, it's good to see you. Thanks for saying hi, and I'm just going to escort you out. But in order to do that, you can't just like ignore that she's there or that the thoughts are there. You have to acknowledge, hey, you're not supposed to be here. Well, you're welcome here, but you're not taking the driver's seat. You can sit in the passenger's seat.

Like, you can be along for the, because sometimes it's be honest, sometimes the fear's going to be there. Or we can think big, big world stuff. I mean, sometimes like, there's things going on in the world like there are now, which we can't just rainbow sunshine, a global crisis or a war. And so you can have those thoughts about it

and the compassion and the pain and heaviness of that. But we don't let that drive our vehicle, our thought vehicle. So to speak, we say, hey, you can be with me, but I'm a person in the passenger seat. And so I'm going to hear you every now and then, but sometimes I'm going to turn the radio up or put my earphones in. You should know what that means already. That's the best kind of notification. That's the sound of another sale on Shopify, and the moment another business dream becomes a reality. Shopify is a commerce platform,

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you know, a type A personality, you're in, you know, some major job, you know, overwhelm, if you had just had that conversation with me back in corporate America, I'd be like, I don't have time for this. That would have been my go-to answer. It's like, you're crazy. And truly, I believe that.

I 100% believe. But now what I know about that earlier version of me, I wasn't at a place in my life to deal with it. Because I felt like, or I was subconsciously that if I started peeling back that onion, everything was going to fall apart and that scared the heck out of me. And I think the way the sort of exit ramp to freedom for anybody that's shaking their head to that, I remember that. Like if I peel that back, I don't know if I can handle it next.

Yes. And I think one of the best quotes I've ever heard and I cannot attribute to it, I can just tell you it's not my quote. So, okay, it's not my quote. But if you're willing to feel your feelings and you're willing to fail, you will be able to achieve anything. And so I love that. For those of us who are type A and driven and you're like, well, I don't want to fail. Like, I'm willing to do the failure.

Like, failure all the way. Check, check, check. I know it's a step to success, but you're like, oh, I also have to be willing to feel. Because that really is to full capacity of the human experience. You've got to allow yourself to understand your feeling. I have emotional intelligence. Competence isn't what I believe it's a skill, but it's also very much an emotion. It's also a mindset. You can put it in lots of different categories, but if you really want to master confidence, we've got to master emotional intelligence. And we very much go, I haven't got time for that. But I tell you what you do have time for is a better experience of

life. And this way you do some of this work, it's five minutes, ten minutes, fifteen minutes at a time, right? And so if we're going to say that we don't have time for it, then I think we need to take ownership of that we're preventing ourselves from tapping into the, really the fullest, like, I don't want just a successful life, I want a beautiful life. I want a beautiful experience of life. And I believe that emotions allow that. You've got to be willing to feel it. You've got to be willing to feel it.

You've got to be brave. So you can be brave in all these things, going up and being bold, being on stage, closing huge deals, but the next level of bravery is the emotional bravery. And then, I mean, what's available to you is nuts. And you know that. Yeah. I do, but that's been a long, long journey. And then I mean what's available to use nuts? And you know that. Yeah. I do, but that's been a long, long journey. And I know there's people listening right now that I need you to hear what Trisha's told you. That is huge. Tell us a little bit about

straightening your crown, your newest book that you have out there. Ah, so straightening your crown, it's my newest book we just released a few months ago. It is a book on worthiness. It's a book for the reader who craves something deeper spiritually and a deeper competence in their purpose. It's a book on worthiness and a book on purpose and a book on busyness because a lot of I think what we're craving is this deep sense of fulfillment and purpose. But we live such busy lives. We live so distracted that we go, I don't even know if I have time to think, I can't even hear my own thoughts,

and let alone, can hear God. And so it's a book that shows you that how whatever your relationship with God is, and whatever your faith background is, that God doesn't just love you, he delights in you. And that's a big difference. Like I know, like I think about, you think about for those of us who are parents out there,

I love my nieces and nephews, for sure, but I delight in my children. When you see your children happy, like the delight that I have when my kids are joyful, like it's just incredible. And like I also love that when I want to do something intimate with my kids are like exciting. I have a little for you, and I'm like, big, big.

Like, the whisper brings them closer to me. And I want that tenderness. And I think sometimes we get so frustrated with like, wow, I can't hear you. And like, what's the point? We can get very cynical. And I, as cynism steals your joy, it steals your confidence. But when you realize that some of the deepest things,

the deepest lessons, the deepest growth lessons, the deepest spiritual lessons, the things that give us meaning and purpose for our competence, come in whispers, and like, I used to be so frustrated, like, great, God was for us to be, too bad I can't hear, I'm like, whoa, I didn't know that was like almost like a, almost like an act of intimacy, it's beautiful.

And so it's really a book on slowing down your life a little bit to experience deeper joy, more beauty, but more than that freedom to not have to believe that. I'm not doing it. I very much have had to detox the, I'm not doing enough, I'm not enough, I need to do better. And so it speaks to that, not enoughness voice, so that people can show up without all that noise. And we just go and make a difference in the world. Oh my gosh, this is so important. I've had so many people ask me recently about purpose and how to figure out the purpose. And you're right, if you don't slow down and start noticing what your thoughts are, what your feelings are noticing what's around you, it is almost impossible to ever

figure out what that purpose is. Yeah, and it's counter-tuitive, right? Like it's counter-tuitive. Like, I need you to slow down and be still. And you're like, yeah, but if someone should do, but true wisdom, true maturity, true leaders have that margin, right? And I look at it, here's what's cool. I think it's been helpful for me, to somebody who loves productivity. Man, girl, I love squeezing out every lesson out into my day. I want to incorporate micro moments of margin. That's way more accessible to me than Trish Stock work an hour early.

I mean, maybe I can do that. I'm gonna do that today, meet my nails done, but micro moments of margin, I'm like, oh, a time in a walk with my dog, without my phone. That's beautiful. That's actually purposeful. Like, oh, it's time I walked in my dog without my phone. That's beautiful. That's actually purposeful.

Like, okay, and seeing that your time to luxury and quiet throughout your day is actually purposeful for your higher purpose. Crunch. What a name for a chocolate bar. Tells you what you're signing up for. Crunch, that glorious combination of crispy rice and 100% milk chocolate makes

crunch the chocolate bar that's just more fun. It's the mic drop of chocolate. It's chocolate with game. It's chocolate with what's the word in after? Oh yeah. Crunch. Oh, it's so good. I could not agree with you more. Where can everyone find your book? Go to Amazon. We'll go to my website or go to, and you can go to TrishBlackWood.com, Ford Slush Crown. That will take you right to Amazon. Anywhere books are sold.

And you'll find it there. And we've got the audible and we've got all versions. And yeah, check it out. And the confidence podcast. You recently had me on go check out that episode guys You've done subscribe to this podcast. She's got 3.5 million people listening for a reason where else can everybody find you Trish blackwell.com or college or confidence calm. Yeah, thank you so much for coming on I'm so grateful to have met you so excited for what is in store for both of us moving forward and really

appreciate coming on the show. You know, did oh, did oh, thank you Heather. I'm so grateful and everyone I can't wait to meet you as well. Thank you for allowing me to be just a voice in your life today. Well, you are an important one and I love the perspective that you bring. Thank you for teaching me today too guys. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. Take Trish's advice and direction and take a minute to see how you're feeling, to think about your thoughts, and know we're thinking about you too. See you next week.

I'm gonna write a word over here. I decided to change that tiny amount. I can write down my feelings. I couldn't be more inside of the world when you're getting here. Start learning and growing. And inevitably something will happen. No one seems alone. You don't people happen. No one seeks a loan.

You don't stop and look around once in a while. You can miss it. I'm on this journey with me. I hope you're enjoying this episode so far. I'm Jennifer Cohen, host the top ranking business in entrepreneur podcast, Habits and Hustle, apart the YAP media network, the number one business and

self-improvement podcast network. So most people live the life they get and not the life they want. And I'm here to change all that. My goal with each episode to give you the habits and hustle tips you need to show up to your life better, bigger, and bolder. Tune in now, and I'll not only help you answer the questions like, what do you want most in life and why don't you have it, but we'll also help you make it a reality. I also picked the brains of top thought leaders on how they've gone to the top and the advice they have to help you get there too.

Head over to Happets and Hustle. Once you've done listening to this episode and get one step closer to boldness, one episode at a time. Head over to Happets and Hussle, once you've done listening to this episode and get one step closer to boldness, one episode at a time.