Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - Reclaim Your POWER With Iman Oubou Founder Of SWAAY Media & Miss New York US 2015 Episode 215

Episode Date: May 10, 2022

In This Episode You Will Learn About:  Claiming your power       Embracing your FULL identity  Making an impact as an entrepreneur Resources: Website: swaay.com Read The Glass Ledge Join Voices+ Listen to Women Who SWAAY Podcast   Email: [e-mail]  LinkedIn: @Iman Oubou Instagram: @imanoubou Facebook: @swaaymedia Twitter: @ImanOubou Overcome Your Villains is Available NOW! Order here: https://overcomeyourvillains.com  If you haven't yet, get my first book Confidence Creator Show Notes:  You possess the power to CHANGE your life; use it! Take control of your circumstances and build the life YOU want. Successful entrepreneur and former Miss New York US, Iman Oubou is here to help us learn how to showcase the BEST version of ourselves and embrace our FULL identities. If you can step into your OWN power, you’ve already accomplished the hardest part. Iman will share the nitty gritty details behind building a business from the ground up, and navigating the obstacles that come with it. You don’t have to hide or change who you are to reach your goals. Don’t be timid; reclaim your power today!  About The Guest: Joining us today is Iman Oubou, an American entrepreneur, author, published scientist, and National beauty pageant winner! She won the title of Miss New York United States and was second runner up at the 2015 Miss United States pageant. Known for her advocacy work, Iman has been featured in Harper's Bazaar, Forbes, Cosmopolitan, and SO MANY more. She founded SWAAY Media in 2015, a leading publishing platform that provides writing and editorial support, and creates a thought provoking community of like minded women!  If You Liked This Episode You Might Also Like These Episodes: Living Life on Purpose with Les Brown How Your Mindset Can Change EVERYTHING For You with Heather!  It's Never Too Late To Start! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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See packages and options at Toyota.com for future availability. Reese's peanut butter cups are the greatest, but let me play devil's advocate here. Let's see. So, no, that's a good thing. That's definitely not a problem. Reese's you did it. You stumped this charming devil. I have never really explored my own relationship with power until I was in a position of not having any power at all

and that's with these investor meetings. And so at that point, for me, instead of actually taking a step back through in those meetings or after those meetings and figuring out what went wrong and how can I claim that power back, I played the victim and realized, okay, there's nothing I can do. Instead of me taking control of the role I play in changing my circumstances, I'd wild more and more and more into becoming more of a victim as opposed to a change agent in

my own life. Let's make sure that you know and you're self-aware of your own relationship with each of these themes. I'm honest journey with me. Each week when you join me, you're self-aware of your own relationship with each of these themes. I'm on this journey with me. Each week, when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for better tomorrow. Faster, no sooner than you. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so excited for you today.

It's so rare I have one of my real friends on the show. But today, Aman Ubu, she's an American entrepreneur, author, published scientists and national beauty pageant winner. We're gonna get into that. So if you're cringing right now, don't. She won the title of Miss New York United States and was second runner up at the 2015 Miss United States pageant. Aman was awarded the Women's Advocate of the Year Award

in 2019 and Dubai and has been featured in Harper's Bazaar, Cosmopolitan Forbes, Fortune, Vogue, everything. She's founder of Sway Media, leading publishing platform aimed at championing female thought leadership by providing access to editorial and writing support as well as a supportive community of like-minded women. I mean, I'm gonna go on and on about her, but I have to tell you,

she was named one of the female entrepreneurs to watch in 2018 by CIO magazine. Same year, Amon was a keynote speaker at Harvard and MIT. She was a first-ever face of Morocco Ambassador, a new initiative, uplifting female voices in Morocco and the Middle East. And she was also part of the first all female judge panel at Miss Universe 2018 and Judge Miss Teen USA, Miss Earth, USA and other state pageants. And now she is the author of the Glass Ledge. Amon, thank you so much for being here today. Yeah, thank you for having me.

I'm excited to finally be doing this podcast. I remember how much fun we had when you were on my podcast a couple of years ago. So this is gonna be fun. Oh my gosh. All right, so let's get started. And I want to jump into the pageant thing first because for me, I used to be one of those people that would be like, oh, she's a pageant person.

Oh, how ridiculous. You know, oh, she's too pretty, too perfect. That's such BS putting wrong emphasis on looks. That's what I used to, you know, wrongly think until you became my friend. So can you tell us a little bit about the pageant life and what pageants really mean and why they are so positive and impactful?

Yeah, I was one of those people that thought the exact same thing. And honestly, I only went into it because my mom pushed me into, quote unquote, getting more in touch with my feminine side. So I kind of had to please her at that time. And I went along with it. She went through so much trouble to sign me up and I was accepted. So like, fine, I'll try this out. And I had the exact same perspective as many people. It's shallow. It's a lot of just a bunch of pretty girls walking around on stage.

It's not very substantive, but I tell you, it was a very surprising and shocking experience for me because I had never really felt so empowered to be the best version of myself until I competed in my first beauty pageants, the back in Colorado in 2013. And that was also my very first time encountering this environment where women are supportive of each other, even though they're competing for the exact same thing at that same time. And up until then, I was obviously in college, I never even dared to rush for a

sorority or even have a lot of girlfriends around me because I just never felt that kind of support system from the girlfriends I had prior to that. I was never a girls girl and I just was terrified of being like in a room full of beautiful competitive and smart women because I would just get insecure right away. But there was something very different about being part of the pageant world because I would just get insecure right away, but there was something very different about being part of the pageant world, because I think you are also trained to show up as a different version of yourself.

One that is secure with herself, self-assured, wants to see other women succeed, someone who also knows who they are and are very self-aware, and they know what their values are, what they would wanna do with that title, how are they going to show up as a change agent in the community if they do get that title.

All of this stuff isn't really talked about enough when we dress pageantry. And I think it's a little bit of the media's fault. But also, it is what we're shown on TV. On TV, the competition is mostly about how you show up on stage, how you look, you know, your fitness, your body type, and then your gown, and then there is that one-stage question that is often asked in a lot of women sometimes feel the pressure

and it's not the best answer you would expect, but you have to understand that that's a very nerve-wracking position to be in. So it's not a reflection of the person's intellect. You know, I think anyone going up on that stage, especially if they haven't done it often, would sometimes mess up. But I think for me, it was what I fell in love with the most about pageantry and outside of just competing and wanting to win because I love winning is of course changing myself and bettering myself and having something to look forward to that I can showcase my best version that I worked for for so long. So true and because of our friendship and because of your support, I ended up judging one of these contests and it was an incredible experience learning how hard these women were

working number one, how they were all supporting one another, the same, you know, that you just described to us. And it was such a powerful and positive experience. So yet again, you know, just stereotyping the way all of us do in some way, it's so fun to open your eyes to the possibility that something is very different. And I'm really grateful that you did that for me. So thank you. And it's funny to hear you talk about a time in your life where you didn't have supportive women around you when you've built so much of your success around supporting other women. And that's really how you and I came together. So can you talk us through how that journey changed for you from being one of you kind of out there on your own to you building community around supporting others.

Pagenture really was the vehicle for me to realize that I do want to build some kind of platform that brings women together. And when I want the title of Miss New York U.S. in 2015, you know, usually pick a platform to have as a title holder. And for me at the time, I chose women empowerment and women's entrepreneurship. And so that's again, why I launched a podcast shortly after to really be able to bring those stories to light. And really tell stories that weren't necessarily prioritized by mainstream media, but they were important and inspiring the next generation of young women who might be feeling a little lost,

which I was at the time. You know, I think when I won Miss New York in 2015, I also was a science communication specialist. I was a scientist on that that was my day job. And to me, I was going to live in this double life a little bit because by a day, I'm like this nerdy scientist was also like helping all this biotech of emerging startups to translate their technology and their science into words, people without the science background can understand. And then by night, I'm like doing appearances

on the red carpet with bearer weighing and all these celebrities and things. And it's just like people look at me and like, wait, you're a scientist? That's your job and you're a Miss New York outcome. Like what's the connection here? And I just, I never really expected for people to be that surprised by the multi-dimensional

facade I had. And it's like, oh, just because I'm a scientist, I can't also be a Miss New York or a title holder. But I think, you know, people think that if you're doing pages, then you automatically are a model or do you want to be an entertainment, which is not always the case, especially not today anymore. But prior to pageantry, I didn't really have the women support. I mean, in college, I even grow enough. I don't think that I ever was able to build healthy friendships

with girls or young women. I'm not really sure what it was. Maybe it was also in securities that I was struggling with, that I, you know, I'm now learning how to process properly and overcome. But the platform that pageantry gave me was gave me was ultimately what led me to kind of build up on that and create kind of a similar world to what I experienced in Pagetry, but in the media and a platform like sway where those stories come together in one under one group. Because I think when I was first kind of navigating the Paget world, what I loved the most is hearing other women's stories that were competing with me. And that wasn't something that made me insecure. If anything, that was something that made me empowered and excited. I was like, wow, I'm in the same room

as all these awesome women. So that means that I also, I'm awesome. Like, you know, it's kind of based around about great women who also want to see you succeed. I'm like, I don't see that. How do I replicate this experience in the real world? Because when I was in STEM, it was mostly men. It was a very male dominated world, you know, and I didn't really experience that kind of women support in my day job. So ultimately, my goal would sway. It was a little bit self-facient with the podcast is, I loved it's feeling, how can I continue replicating it even outside of the pageant world even after I'm retired from the pageant world I want to continue having this family of women around me that continue to support me and also show me what's possible and so that's ultimately what I

ended up doing and again meeting women like yourself and I was a little bit surprised too that it was met with a lot of excitement because I think at my first initial instinct was that, you know, not a lot of women want to come together and help each other out, you know, and this was, you know, 2014, 2015, a little pre-me too movement, pre-women's movement, but I was excited to see that I maybe I created that platform in the right time as we were all kind of taking our voices higher and higher and elevating each other whether it's in the workplace or in personal lives and it was just the perfect timing. Share with us something that I'm very familiar with which is some of the challenges that you dealt with in launching sway and growing sway. I think the biggest challenge

was just access to resources. Obviously I was very lucky to have a lot of the initial women in my network invest in the opportunity and wanting to be part of it and help me at the precede level. But again, those checks were smaller and only can go as far. So when I was getting ready to raise my official seat around like a normal startup, especially with all the traction we were getting and the brand we built and the community that's around it and also the mission that we really set for ourselves. I didn't really think that we would have that much of a hard time getting investors to be excited about the opportunity because also remember at the time a lot more V season investors were committing to investing in more women, forward more women driven and female forward initiative.

So I was like, perfect, great timing. I have it all, let's do this. To this day, it still has been challenging for me as a founder and just for the company to really land that big seat funding that would really make us just worry about the operations and the growth as opposed to being scrappy, that scrappy start-up we've always been.

And a lot of the time for me personally going to investor meetings as a young female founder at the time when I started first fundraising, I was like 24, 25, and on the heels of my beauty page and success, that didn't really help. A lot of the investors were men and much older and I think with the outdated preconceived notions of what a person like me is capable of or not capable of in that case.

And so I was met with a lot of inappropriate comments. The focus was more on my appearance. And sometimes when I try to tone that down because of the previous comments I've gotten, people were like, wait, you showed up in flats today? Why? Like, that's not okay. So there was always like a comment around what I'm wearing, what I look like, the fact that I don't remiss New York,

and it's not a good thing, because people can't take me seriously. It was a lot of noise that I was not prepared for, because all I was trying to do is, here's a great business, the opportunity is here, the number we're here, that's all we only to talk about. Why are we distracted by other things that I don't have anything to do with what I'm here for? You know, don't ask me out for dinner.

Let's talk about this business deal at the conference room we're in right now. So it was a very, and I was not, I didn't know how to really react to that. And I think what ended up happening, and this is again, what I talk about at the beginning of the book, is that I internalized a lot to that. And I think what ended up happening, and this is again, what I talk about at the beginning of the book, is that I internalized a lot of that. That became my truth. That became my narrative. I became kind of also defensive and aggressive and just angry. And that's not really my nature. I was already

like, before I would even go to meetings, I would anticipate the frustration, the, you know, the comments that are gonna be, you know, that I'm gonna be met with. So it was just, I think it affected me a lot more than I had realized at the time. And ultimately that led me to get in my own way and kind of start adapting strategies and behaviors that didn't necessarily help me much because I was scared of this notion of power and balance.

And I just was like, I'm not good enough. I don't think I'm going to be ever taken seriously. It was just, you know, all in my head at that point. Even when I had some positive comments and stuff, it was hard for me to believe that. And it was hard for me to even visualize what success looked like anymore, because I was so sucked into this echo chamber of victimhood. And so that was really challenging.

And I think it took a lot of self work for me. And a lot of almost cultivating an uncomfortable sense of accountability to overcome that stage I was in. And almost like we build myself from the inside out to become this new woman before I go out there and set up to continue growing my business and rebuilding it in a much healthier way. So of course, I ended up focusing on building my business as opposed to go and raise my knee, which maybe there was a good thing for me as well as being able to really, or being forced to be more creative

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This is Possibility powered by Shopify. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at Shopify.com slash monahen. All lowercase. Go to Shopify.com slash monahen to take your business to the next level today. Shopify.com slash monahen. Why in the world would you then want to write a book? I'm so curious about this. You look, I've always wanted to write a book that's I think everybody wants that but I was lucky in the sense that when I was going through this time, so time rock bottom I call it, there was an article about me on Forbes, about rejection and especially like being part

of the female founders that struggled to really get access to that funding. You know, only 2% of venture capital funding goes to women, so it's a very low number. So I'm not the only one. And I know a lot of women are going through it as well to this day. So there was an article that I was mentioned in,

and an agent saw that, and she reached that to me, and you loved this, because she's like, why don't you think about writing a book about confidence? And you know, she reached out to me at my rock bottom, as in like, I have zero confidence at the time, like me, a confident, no. I'm like, plus I'm like, I know my friend, she's much better at this,

and like, I'll leave her be the expert at confidence, because she truly is the confidence queen. But I'm like, I don't think that that's that I'm like, I'm, I'm open to writing a book, but confidence probably not the subjects I'm an expert in, I could write as part of the book, but it's not all. And so what I told her was, look, I have probably a lot of self-work to do myself before I think I'm in a good place to write a book or give advice to other women, because I myself right now think I'm in a good place to write a book or give advice to other women because I myself right now, I'm struggling a little bit to find my way out

out of this devastating, I would say fail at the time, but I know I'm gonna get out of it and I feel like that's gonna be a much better story to tell because I know I'm going to uncover a lot of lessons along the way of rebuilding myself and rebuilding this business in a way sustainable. And maybe we'll check back in a couple years and then see if there is a story there. If I made it out alive and maybe there's some lessons to share. And so, yeah, that's exactly what happened. In 2020, we kind of reconnected and we talked a little

bit about my journey leading up from the moment she reached out to the moment we reconnected. And I told her about just what happened and all the kind of tactics and things I had to unlearn and learn along the way to be in a better position to build my business and not let the outside world and external barriers become kind of a burden on who I am. And that's kind of how the book really conceptualized. So we talked a lot about how I was constantly trying to break glass ceilings.

And that was going to be my journey. I was out there trying to break glass things. But I didn't realize that I was also tittering on a glass ledge, which to me is a representation of self-imposed glass ceilings. And I'm like, that's what I really want to talk about more in the book and just what I want my message to be because I have realized that during my fight for women empowerment, I had actually

became this empowered myself. And a lot of that was because of the self-imposed glass ceilings I was putting in place for myself without really realizing it. And that's really what I want to shine light on. And that's how the book came about. Wow, so it's so full circle. I love that idea of that real glass ceiling being the one that we've put on ourselves. It's so accurate number one and not talked about very much. So share with us some of those lessons that readers will learn from the glass ledge. Yeah, so I think so the way I structured the book is in 10 chapters. Each chapter has its own theme that I kind of dive deeper in using my own personal experience. And some of the examples are power, like ability, appearance, which we talked about also relating

to both discrimination and also coming from a world of pageant expertise, confidence, which I definitely are part of it as well. Conflict is a big one for me because I just didn't know how to address conflicts and I would shy away from it and run away from it as opposed to being comfortable with that concept and finding my balance with it. And then same thing, I think a lot of the chapters that I, you know, the way I outline the chapter is not to go one way or another,

but rather figuring out what your balance is when it comes to that theme. So power, for example, I have never really explored my own relationship with power until I was in a position of not having any power at all, and that's with these investor meetings. And so at that point, for me, instead of actually taking a step back through in those meetings or after those meetings and figuring out what were wrong and how can I claim that power back, I just kind of played the victim and realized, okay, there's nothing I can do. The world is unfair, I'm fed, they treat me that way, which is true, it's unfair.

But instead of me taking control of the role I play and changing my circumstances, I kind of doled more and more and more into becoming more of a victim as opposed to some, a change agent in my own life. And so that's kind of what I make sure in each chapter is let's make sure that you know and you're self-aware

of your own relationship with each of these themes. Same thing with likability, right? I think for me, when I started a company such a young age, my biggest thing was to be liked by my employees, by my community, by my investors, instead of actually putting my foot down when I needed to and demand respect. And so my relationship and my understanding of the theme of likeability wasn't really right and it wasn't really well explored, and I didn't even know anything about that. So I make sure that you're aware of how you act

and why you act the way you do, so that you're able to know how to balance your relationship with each of these themes, and really kind of, you know, sometimes you need to be like, sometimes you don't need to be like. So at what point do you really know what strategies to adopt? So that's really what I wanted to make sure is not telling you what to do and how to act in certain situations, but giving you the tools to know how to change your situation

faster than the outside world can change for you. And in regards to all these themes, that's so funny. I remember when I was young in business, I was the opposite of you. I did not want to be liked. I wanted to be respected. And so I went the polar opposite way, which was not the right way to go. But I was so tough and hard on people and created such concrete boundaries because I was so fearful that if they got to really know me or see that I am caring or that they'd want

to take advantage of me or they wouldn't respect me, right? And I went off the rails the other way, which again didn't benefit me in business specifically until you find that balance of showing who you really are and that vulnerability coupled with boundaries and having a healthy respect for yourself and the job that you do in commanding that respect and culture that you're looking for in business, it definitely is a dance where many of us can fall.

That's why I'm all about like the, that's why I call it the glasses and balancing on the glass ledge because everything in love, every issue that we deal with, there is not one wear or another that's always going to work in every situation. For example, my femininity, right? Like, I was either not, I was a tomboy growing up, or then with the beauty pageant was just like, all feminine and I would just be that.

And then when people started kind of making kind of comments and appropriate comments about just my appearance and femininity, I completely suppressed that. And I just left it alone and I'm like, no, but you can use your femininity as a tool, you know, in the right situations, in the right way. If you find that balance of how you explore your relationship with your femininity, and, you know, there are times where I have my masculine side

has to step in. And then there are times where I have to show my feminine side as a leader. So again, like it's all about establishing that balance when it comes to different situations, but again, you can't establish that balance unless you build self-awareness. You need to know what triggers you, why you have the way you do, what situations you need to use, this side or that side, and a lot of that takes practice. It takes a lot of self-work and I think a lot of conversations were uncomfortable of having with ourselves. My favorite quote is someone said that the most important conversations you have in your life

are the ones you have with yourself. So make sure they're productive ones or positive ones. And so I think a lot of people don't really think about that at all. They are so busy talking to everyone else, minding everybody else's business as opposed to taking time for themselves and checking in with themselves every now and then to see,

why did I act that way yesterday? What was that? What triggered me? Let me write it down and make sure that I understand it so I can address that issue better next time. And these are things that require a lot of maturity and patience and self-awareness, but it's easier not to do them and just continue

being the way you are. And we always kind of blame it in the word, that's my authentic self. But I talk about in the book and my chapter on authenticity is that we all have an authentic self and an adaptive self. And you need to know when to let which one lead and they all need, they both need to be in sync. So sometimes your authentic self was not to be an entrepreneur or a CEO. I had no business doing that. And that's not really what I would have chosen to do. But at the time, my adaptive self stepped in and so you need to adapt because now you need to be a CEO and you need to learn how to be one.

As opposed to taking the easy road and saying, like, my authentic self is not to be this kind of leader, and I'm just going to be who I am. No, we can change. And that's when adaptive selves take control over our actions and decisions. I hope everyone listening right now gets this message that I'm getting loud and clear,

which is really about the word and instead of an in place of the word or. Right? So for people who see a mom and say, she had to be a scientist or she could be a beauty queen. No, she was a scientist and a beauty queen. Right? And just like you're talking about now with the book showing there's two sides to everything. You don't have to pick one or the other. In fact, it's about that and and that joining and that balance in different situations and different moments and embracing both.

People naturally swing to the way I can be this and that. I have to pick a side. And even like I talk about this a lot and I think it's all out there in the press that I got is the first question I've gotten in my first pageant was if you had to choose between being smart or pretty or smart or beautiful which one would it be? And that's what it all clicked for me because I was never really like a one-faceted person. I was always very multi-dimensional. And I never was brought up with this idea that I had to choose between being things.

And if I wanted to be both or multiple things and it's possible, maybe not all at once and not all at the same time, but it's okay to maybe realize along the way that this is no longer working for you and now you want to become this and that's okay to pivot as well. And I've done that multiple times in my career and I think that's really how I built my confidence actually along the way because I was able to see that I was going to take on a new role that I had absolutely no experience and or no, you know,

precedent, and I built myself through it. And so that gave me the confidence to go into the next chapter of my life and be able to do the same thing. When I first stepped on that stage and pageant world, I was like, well, if I could walk on stage in front of thousands of people in a swimsuit and heels and be open to being judged, Like, guys, I'm literally here for you to judge me.

I can do anything, you know? And it's just like, you have to remind yourself of what you're capable of because other people will sure not have a reminder of that. And it's your responsibility. It's your choice to be able to say, I've been through this or I've overcome this. And because of that, I built the confidence to do this. Say you have a business idea but you're not sure what to do next. Don't go into debt spending four plus years on a degree, listen to the Millionaire University

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who like choices, Corolla is music to your ears like jazz fusion. If that's your thing. To find your perfect Corolla visit your local Toyota dealer or Toyota.com today. Toyota let's go places see packages and options at Toyota.com for future availability. Our stories are very different, but very similar. When I hear you tell that story, it just reminds me of being fired and being told all your good at his sales,

all your good at a sales leadership in Corbin America. That's the laying your skills to be in. What are you gonna do now? You got fired and you can't compete in that business. And I had to come to terms with myself that maybe there's more to me than this one lane, one job. Maybe there's other skills intrinsically within me that I can explore and tap into that I just never paid attention to before. And I've seen you evolve through this process, through all these changes and the technology that you're now embracing in business and doing so many different things.

And that is exactly that same path that I've been on. Okay, I can still be that person that's great in corporate America, but I can write a book and I can launch a podcast and I can jump into the unknown world of entrepreneurship as a rookie, having no expertise at it and just make some mistakes and start figuring it out. as a rookie, having no expertise at it and just make some mistakes and start figuring it out in your right through those steps, through those low moments is what gives you that true confidence that no one can take from you.

It's not something outside of you. It's something within that said, I built this from zero. I stepped into that unknown. And if I was able to get out there after getting fired and not knowing what I was gonna do and build this company that I have today, I can do anything, just like you in the swimsuit on that, you know, on that massive stage. It's a good reminder and I think people, again,

and I don't talk a lot about this with fear of failure, which I know we're all paralyzed by that. But look, everybody fails and that there is a reassurance to tell yourself that, like, and you see people fail publicly much worse than we do. So if they can go through that, then we could easily do it as self, especially if you're not someone who's living your life in public, and if you do fail, most of the time people are gonna move on from it.

Everyone has their own issues. No one's gonna judge you for that or making mistakes because we're all doing it. And if I see someone, well, built a company that didn't work out, I don't sit here and like dwell on like life at it because I'm like, I have my own problems to go through as well. And I maybe I'm about to fail as well. But it's like people just get in their own head and they think that they're like the center of the world and everybody's going to judge them and everybody's going to come at them with these comments and, you know, they're gonna say this or say that. But that now you're falling again,

victim to the outside world expectation. And I think to me, the first thing I thought when I hit rock bottom in 2018 and I thought I lost the company and everything I built is that what are people gonna think? But I didn't think, oh, I don't have any money in my bank accounts or that shit, my creditors are calling me like asking, I didn't think any of that,

which was the most important thing to figure out. All I thought was day and night, what are people gonna say about me? Now it's embarrassing or oh shit, like I've been talking about all this dreams of mine and now before I get a judge move or not being able to make it happen. It's all in my head and I put this extra pressure on me

and I'm already going through a lot. So you know, I'm having anxiety around, all right, what's the next step in my head and I put this extra pressure on me. I'm already going through a lot. I'm having anxiety around, all right, what's the next step in my career? And now I also have to feel like I need to be perfect for the outside world's expectation and live my life as what people expect out of me, which is not a healthy way at all to think or even just adapt as a strategy for your own life.

So I had to slowly figure out how to stop caring about what people think about me. And it's, you know, to this day sometimes to struggle with it, but you have to remind yourself, I don't care. And you know, who's a great, my brother is so great at that because I call him every time. I'm like, so this person emailed me and they asked for this.

And I'm not sure what to say. Like, who cares? Just tell them this in defacul. I was like, I need some, I mean, you need a champion in your life that can constantly remind you that right now you're thinking about the wrong thing because what you're thinking has to do with what people think of you. And it's not the right question to ask. You're asking the wrong question, you know, and everything that you're thinking about should be about how to live purposefully, how to be fulfilled on your own. Whether or not people see what you're doing, whether people are not aware of your accomplishments

or lack thereof, you should be the one focusing on what actually fulfills your soul of the core as opposed to how much money it makes you or how much followers you'll get from it or how much press or outside validation or how much hype you'll get from that. And I know early on, I made that mistake with when starting the company because I just had this big chip on my shoulder that I had to prove myself all along. I was always doing things because I felt like they would give me more credibility to the outside world and people are going to see me as a more competent or more credible or better.

And it was just the wrong mentality to have. Obviously, yes, you should care about your reputation because that's important. But that's not the same thing as caring about what people think of you. That is so good. My tell me, who is the glass ledge for? I mean, I wrote it for every woman,

no matter what point she is on her journey. Women in business, professional women in corporate, graduate students, students in high school or college who are still trying to think about their future and what they want to do, even women at the peak of their careers and see sweet level. You know, it's just written in a way that it can always serve as some kind of reminder or there's always lessons there that you can remind yourself up no matter what you've been through, no matter what your journey is or what your industry is or what your dreams are. So I really wanted it to be kind of encompassing from a professional woman being ambitious in her career all the way to even a stay at home mom who's figuring out how to be a better mom for her children and how to also balance her dreams and ambitions with her new motherhood.

Well, I am so excited for you. I am so proud of you and I can't wait for everybody to get their hands on this book. Where can everybody find it? Yeah, so it's available on Amazon, which I feel like everyone's go to for a book purchases, but it's also available on Barnes & Noble and every other retailer that you can think of can just type up the Glass Ledge Amazon, it'll top up. Also, it's all over my social media. If you want to follow me at e-m-on-o-u-b-o-u. And there will be a website for the book coming up this week to GlassLedge.com, so that's going to have all the information that you need. About the book signings and book tours and events and also signing out for my newsletter for more tips and advice. Oh my gosh, get in the community. Get the book. You will not regret it. This book is really just like you were describing you reach out to your brother when you need someone to pick you up. This book is that pick me up. So you need it. Get be your own champion. Get the glass ledge. Now until next week, keep creating your confidence.

You know we will be too. I decided to change that time and I. I couldn't be more excited. Once you're here, start learning and growing. And inevitably something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You can miss it.

I'm on this journey with me. I hope you're enjoying this episode so far. I'm Jennifer Cohen, host the top ranking business and entrepreneur podcast, Habits and Hustle. Apart the YAP media network, the number one business and self-improvement podcast network. So most people live the life they get and not the life they want. And I'm here to change all that.

My goal with each episode is to give you the habit and hustle tips you need to show up to your life better, bigger, and bolder. Tune in now, and I'll not only help you answer the questions like what do you want most in life and why don't you have it, but we'll also help you make it a reality. I also picked the brains of top thought leaders on how they've gone to the top and the advice they have to help you get there too. Head over to Happets and Hustle once you've done listening to this episode and get one step closer to boldness, one episode at a time. Once you've done listening to this episode, and get one step closer to boldness, one episode at a time.