Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - Rock Your Life With Rock Thomas Episode 74

Episode Date: September 29, 2020

Rock Thomas is the real rags to riches success story and he is dedicated to helping others find their financial freedom. Too many people are stuck in the weeds, stuck in fear, and stuck in complacency.... Rock encourages you to do what’s hard, change the labels other people have put on you, and define what you want. So much becomes easier when your mission is clear. Rock’s mission is to uplift others into living an authentic and healthy life. He followed his path towards joy, success, and freedom and now he knows that everyone has a path as well. All they need to do is believe it is there and follow it.  About the Guest: Rock Thomas is the World’s #1 Whole-Life-Success Expert, bestselling author, and host of the #IAmMovement Podcast. From farm boy to real estate and business guru, mentor and self-made millionaire, Rock has studied one-on-one with the world’s best teachers — Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield, Wayne Dyer, Robert Herjavec and more — on his mission to inspire others to create their best life, on their terms. His Goalcast video alone was viewed by over 100 million people. Using tools and strategies that are proven, Rock now teaches people how to create financial freedom by leveraging their purpose and passions to live not just a successful life, but a fulfilled one. Founder of the #IAmMovement, he is known as the man who redefines lives.  1. Host of the #IAmMovement Podcast  2. Founder and creator of multiple mastermind groups including the M1 Mastermind, a  community of like-minded, success-oriented individuals who are committed to living a whole-life millionaire lifestyle.  3. Author of The Power of Your Identity & Your Epic Life Blueprint  4. Author and trainer of Top 10 Rules of Success (the 90 day Breakthrough challenge)  5. Creator & trainer of the cutting edge Sunday System for Success. 6. Speaker at various key personal growth and entrepreneurship events around the  world. His speeches and content videos have been viewed over 100 million times collectively.  7. Teacher of accelerated strategies that help entrepreneurs triple their sales and growth  using the proprietary models of (SEC and 1% Rule)  Finding Rock Thomas: Website: https://rockthomas.com/ Facebook: @rockthomasofficial  Instagram & Twitter: @rockthomas  Buy his books:   The Power of Your Identity  Your Epic Life Blueprint  Listen to his podcast: Rock Your Money Rock Your Life To inquire about my coaching program opportunity visit https://mentorship.heathermonahan.com/  Review this podcast on Apple Podcast using this LINK and when you DM me the screen shot, I buy you my $299 video course as a thank you!  My book Confidence Creator is available now! get it right HERE If you are looking for more tips you can download my free E-book at my website and thank you! https://heathermonahan.com  *If you'd like to ask a question and be featured during the wrap up segment of Creating Confidence, contact Heather Monahan directly through her website and don’t forget to subscribe to the mailing list so you don’t skip a beat to all things Confidence Creating!   See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 When there's a penalty on the field, referees are there to sort it out. When there's an accident on the road, Sergeant Lindros, I'm glad you're okay. That's where USAA steps in. We help make the claims process easy, so drivers can get back on the road fast. Making the right calls, that's what we're made for. USAA
Starting point is 00:00:21 Membership eligibility and product restrictions apply in our subject to change. USAA means United Services Automobile Association and its affiliates. San Antonio, Texas. I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals. We've come adversity and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close time. Hi and welcome back. I'm so grateful you are back here with me again this week.
Starting point is 00:00:47 Okay, so as always, so much going on, where do I begin? I had put a post up on LinkedIn, saying something like, as I said, you know, three years ago when I was fired, I had no idea these things were gonna happen. And then I mapped out all the things that I didn't know. You know, on that awful day when I got fired
Starting point is 00:01:13 and I thought my life was over. And I was just sharing the story that if you get fired, if you're in a tough time, you have no idea what's ahead of you. And instead of focusing on the fear and the unknown, you can flip that around and actually focus on the excitement about what's to come. That was the whole point of the post. Anyhow, someone sent me a DM that said something to the effect of your pathetic showcasing that you were fired.
Starting point is 00:01:44 It was super negative. And so I posted about that today. And wow, did people flip out? It's so interesting. People will come to your aid. People will take up in arms for you when they see you being unjustly attacked. Or it's very interesting.
Starting point is 00:02:02 Those are the things back when I was in corporate America. I would have never posted about something like that for fear of what the people I worked with might say to me or be upset with or they'd be uncomfortable since that's not the norm. Here's what I've learned. Being vanilla is just that. It's vanilla.
Starting point is 00:02:22 Being your crazy, unique unique special self is amazing. And when you show up and really are that real you, I feel like I'm one of the only people in the world that puts getting fired to work for them. And that makes me different. It makes me unique. A lot of people don't want to talk about getting fired. And I get it super embarrassing at first. But now it's like my badge of honor. I flipped the script on getting fired and getting fired is now like my calling card, right? That wow, it can happen to anybody and it isn't about, you know, you could be doing the greatest job in the world and have, you know, so many people love you and support you, but if that one person
Starting point is 00:03:02 or, you know, the company gets sold and a new leader comes in and they want their own people, it could have nothing to do with you at all. Anyhow, so this post today was going crazy and so many people were taking up for me and it was just so nice to see. And so much support and love came from one person attacking me, showed me thousands would come to support me and encourage me, which was super cool. And says a lot about our world. Sometimes it seems bleak, but there's way more good people out there than there are bad. And the bad or the negative ones, it's really about them, their insecurity and something
Starting point is 00:03:37 probably really sad going on in their life. So trying to find empathy for those people too. Okay. So it was so bizarre. I've been talking about this the past couple of days about this fired and then being attacked, whatever. Someone came across my post and sent me a DM and said, you can't believe this, I was just fired.
Starting point is 00:03:57 What do I do? Heather, I'm flipping out, I don't know what to do. Went on to tell me that his daughter was sick, a very sad story. I have a bleeding heart for people that get fired because it is very easy for me to go back to that highly emotional moment when I was petrified capital P sitting on my couch.
Starting point is 00:04:20 I was like a zombie. I didn't know what I was gonna do. I couldn't imagine where money would come from. I was like a zombie. I didn't know what I was gonna do. I couldn't imagine where money would come from. I was a wreck. And so when I hear that someone's on the first day of getting fired, I remember it as if it was yesterday. It's so crazy that it's three years ago, but I can put myself right back into that feeling.
Starting point is 00:04:39 And so I pick up my phone and I say, give me your phone number. I'm calling you right now. Yes, I have a burner number. So no one can ever call me back. So that's pretty cool. And if you don't have that, you have to get this app. I think it's called text thread or something.
Starting point is 00:04:53 But anyhow, you can call other phone numbers from that app and it changes your phone number, which is super cool. Because obviously you don't want to call strangers that you don't know and allow them to reach back out to you. Okay, sidebar got off topic there. So I call this person and he's in it. He's in the throes of it and I so get it and he's down and it was really interesting.
Starting point is 00:05:15 I'm so glad I had the opportunity to jump on this call with him today that I was home. I was actually sitting here working on my new book and of course I'm looking for any excuse not to sit and work on the new book. So I said yes, I will call you. So I call this guy. He's in it. He's super negative. I don't know if he realized it, but he's saying, you know, I just, I got a package which is great, but that's really only a month. And then I don't know how I'm going to put food on the table. And I don't know where my next job will be and I can't be picky, I should just take whatever I should get and this is the worst time to be fired.
Starting point is 00:05:51 This is the worst time to look for a new job. I should just go right back to a competitor. I should, it was super, super negative and I'm not knocking him for that because I was the exact same way the day that it happened, right? So I have a lot of understanding for that and empathy for that. However, I had to stop a mid-track.
Starting point is 00:06:11 I said, okay, dude, slow it, pump the brakes one minute. Here we go. Listen to your words. And I said, who in the world told you that now is not the best time to get fired? You're saying it's the worst. Why are you saying it's the worst? You said, well, you can look in media
Starting point is 00:06:28 and more people unemployed than ever. Less new jobs. I said, I don't care. Now is the time you were fired. Now is the only time to get a job. Listen, people said this to me when I launched my coaching business. Oh, you shouldn't do that in a pandemic.
Starting point is 00:06:44 No one has money. That's BS. Yes, a large percentage of the population might be struggling financially, but a percentage is not. Right, so it isn't about all of the potential knows. It's about that one potential, yes. It's about that one right fit.
Starting point is 00:07:01 And the more we focus on that one right fit or that one right client or the clients that do have the money, the more we pull those people towards us and we find solutions to attract them towards us. So I apprised him of my opinion and suggested he changed the way that he's speaking because if he is on the phone with anyone and he starts talking like that, that he can't be picky and he should take whatever he can get.
Starting point is 00:07:25 That's not attractive, right to any employer. No, no, no, no. People are attracted to those that see their own worth, know their own value. And again, I'm not knocking him, I get it. He's down. This just whacked him and it's super painful. I so understand. However, 24 hours after I had that horrible day, I posted, I have just been fired.
Starting point is 00:07:47 And if I've ever helped you in any way in the last 14 years, I would love to hear from you today. And I asked for help. And I shared that with him today. I said, if I was you, I would let people know you've been fired. And I would let people know you need help. And then I would convert those opportunities in the moment. So he agreed that that would probably be a good idea because no one knows he's been fired, right? So if people don't know you're available, they aren't going to make offers to you. That's on you to raise your hand, ask for help and be clear with what you're asking for. was that post that I put up went viral, people were going crazy about it, because most people have been fired, most people have empathy, and most people want to help others, right? The vast majority of the world is full of good people,
Starting point is 00:08:33 and if you raise your hand and say, I need help, a lot of people are gonna say, okay, I'm here, how can I help? And that's really what allowed me to begin figuring things out. Again, I had no idea what my future was going to look like or how I was going to end up here three years later. God, I'm so glad this time has passed, though, I would not want to go back to that day again. I was very, very hard and I've learned hard one wisdom as a result of it. So it's been super, super valuable, but it was super, super hard in the moment.
Starting point is 00:09:01 So I talked about changing his word choices. I talked to him about reframing the opportunity and I talked to him about asking for help. Those are really important things. And then I said, well, tell me this. Well, this could actually be the greatest thing that ever happened to you. I'm sure you didn't love your job every day.
Starting point is 00:09:19 And he said, no, not at all. Okay, what did you love doing? What did you like doing when you were a kid? What are you doing your free time that you kid? What do you do in your free time that you would do even if you didn't get paid? And let's start there. He goes on to tell me that he was a teacher for a long time in the beginning of his career.
Starting point is 00:09:35 And his ex-wife asked him to quit that career to pursue one that he could get paid more and get into sales. But that was not his passion. His passion was coaching and teaching. It was very clear. He knew exactly what he wanted to do. And then he said, but this is the worst time of the year to try to become a teacher.
Starting point is 00:09:52 And I started laughing again. Who said, right? Who said it is? So I hear him out, I hear him out. And I said, okay. And he kept saying, well, I'm going to go back to the insurance business. He kept going, and this is very normal.
Starting point is 00:10:04 Because I had these conversations a lot with people that they just assumed to go back to what you've always done. I did not do that. Super grateful, I didn't do that. If I had gone back to what I had always done, I'd be back in media, back running some big publicly traded company, only affecting the people in my team, in my company.
Starting point is 00:10:25 I wouldn't be on this podcast. I wouldn't be talking to you right now. I wouldn't have written a book. I wouldn't have my TED Talk. I wouldn't have my new book. You know, I wouldn't have all these amazing things that get to help so many people and also allow me to shine my light and grow every day
Starting point is 00:10:40 and step into fear and realize my potential. I would have never done any of those things if I had just gone back to what I'd always done. I was really good at my old job and I put all of those learning skills and techniques and strategies to work for me now as a consultant as a coach and through my teachings, which is super cool. However, I'm so glad I just didn't go back to what I had always done because people just get in that rut of, well this so glad I just didn't go back to what I had always done. Because people just get in that rut of, well, this is what I've always done. This is all I'm supposed to do.
Starting point is 00:11:09 No. You can take your unique skills, your unique assets, and go anywhere you want and apply them. And try different things. So again, back to him, he loved teaching. And now he says, well, this is the worst time of the year to try to be a teacher, so I can't do that. And I stopped him and I said, hang on a second, worst time of the year to try to be a teacher. So I can't do that. And I stopped him and I said, hang on a second, I'm going to look at that through a different
Starting point is 00:11:28 lens. What if this is the best time ever to be a teacher? And he said, how so it's not. It's not school already started and gave me all the reasons why it's not. And I said, I'm going to give you one reason why it is. I said, there's lots of rich people in the world with kids stuck in their home doing Zoom school and the kids are not doing well. They're struggling.
Starting point is 00:11:50 The parents are struggling because they're not teachers. They're trying to work. They don't have the time to deal with it. They have additional resources, but not the time. Nor do they have the talents to teach. They don't know how to do that. Let me just raise my hand on that one. I have no idea what new math is and I can't help my son
Starting point is 00:12:06 with his homework. It's crazy. So, and please tell me that you're with me on that one because new math is just, I don't even know. I really don't understand it. Okay, that's for good thing that I'm not in the mathematician world. So I said, there is this need out there.
Starting point is 00:12:20 There is this issue that people need help. They need teaching. they need mentorship, they need the skills and talents you have. And he said, well, yeah, I have an MBA in teaching, I have all these recommendations for my work as a teacher, I love doing it. And that's right, there are people out there that have wealthy parents that need help and I could actually get paid instead of sitting around my house feeling bad about everything. Ding, ding, ding, ding. So I said, okay, so do this. So he said, well, how am I going to find those people? I said, raise your hand. You have all these amazing people in your network. You have
Starting point is 00:12:55 all, you have this great LinkedIn world and Facebook world and social media. Why not raise your hand and say, is anyone out there struggling with their kids in Zoom School at home? Raise your hand and tell people how you're here to help shine your light. You know, it's an amazing gift when you look at it like that. Hey, I just got fired. And while it is jarring and tough, it's giving me this amazing blessing to return
Starting point is 00:13:19 to what I love teaching and helping students. Can I teach and help your child while they're working from home in Zoom school? To me, that sounds like an amazing business. At least it's something to re-engage him on what he loves to do, to reconnect with his passion, and to get paid so he feels valuable.
Starting point is 00:13:38 And even just, this is so weird, but I remember this, like it was yesterday, the first time you make money, like the first time I sold a book, like the first time I sold a book, or the first time I sold a speech, or the first time I got a check for my podcast, those first moments, it validates and makes it real. Like, oh my gosh, I actually am getting paid from this.
Starting point is 00:13:55 It doesn't matter if it's $5. That's, it's irrelevant what the dollar amount is, but that gives you that proof, that check is that proof. There's value here. And while I'm just beginning, I'm on day one of the first day I'm getting paid for it that check is that proof. There's value here. And while I'm just beginning, I'm on day one of the first day I'm getting paid for it, this is gonna grow. And who knows what that trajectory looks like?
Starting point is 00:14:11 Who knows how fast this thing can take off? And who knows how much money I'm gonna make from this? But there is value here, it's crystallized, right? It's real. And that's a super powerful moment. It was for me on every different endeavor I've been on as an entrepreneur, whether my online video course sold on Teachable and I saw the money go into my bank account. That was another aha moment.
Starting point is 00:14:33 Holy cow. Things can sell while I'm sleeping. That's so, oh my gosh, it's unbelievable. You know, or when I did my deal with Harper Collins, this is the first check of many to come from them. That's what I see in my mind. This is crystallized, this is real, and this is just the beginning.
Starting point is 00:14:49 So I wanted that for him, and I knew that if he sat around feeling bad at his house, that was gonna fix nothing and take him and nowhere. If he changed his wording, if he reframed the opportunity, instead of seeing it as scary, see the flip side of it, which it's exciting because the fact that you don't know reframe the opportunity instead of seeing it as scary, see the flip side of it, which it's exciting because the fact that you don't know what's going to happen is super exciting. If I had known on day one of getting fired what the next three years held for me, I would
Starting point is 00:15:15 have been so freaking excited, I would have been screaming and throwing a party instead of sitting on my couch crying my eyes out. Right? So what I was asking him to do is kind of forecast your future through the lens I'm sharing with you that the next three years are gonna be amazing. You're gonna reconnect your passion. You're gonna grow a business.
Starting point is 00:15:32 You don't even know exists yet. And you're gonna get that first check. And then you're gonna forecast how big it's gonna actually become. So the talk's getting better, conversation's getting better. And then he says to me, well, okay, I see what your idea is, Heather, I think you're right, my passion and purpose is around teaching.
Starting point is 00:15:49 I want to work with those kids. Yes, I agree, there are some rich parents out there that need my help, and I can add value, I can do a great job. He said, but then where do I go from there? How is that a business moving forward after the pandemic? And I started laughing. And I said, I'm not asking you to forecast what your business will look like in the next year, because there's no way that I know
Starting point is 00:16:08 what my business is going to look like in the next year or anyone else does, because things are so uncertain outside of us. What I'm asking you to do is to find certainty within yourself and know that stepping into this darkness, stepping into this unknown, but doing it following your passion and your purpose will allow the way to be revealed. The more you step into it, the more Zoom students you help, the more Zoom students you teach, the more the opportunity will reveal itself. We don't know if one of those really wealthy parents offers to bring him on full time
Starting point is 00:16:42 or works at a university and gives him a professor's position. We have no idea what lies ahead for him. All I know is it begins with the first step. And for him, the way I left it with him on the phone today was make the call, raise your hand, put the post up, reach out, ask for help, and share with people that you're re-engaging with your purpose, your passion, and reconnect with it, and ask who you can help now. Take the action, put yourself out there, raise your hand, and you don't have to know beyond that, just take that first step.
Starting point is 00:17:13 I'm so glad I did. I still want that for you. Oh my gosh. Okay, I'm off on a tangent now, and I have to introduce our guest today, what I'm super excited for you to meet rock. Okay, rock Thomas is the world's number one whole life success expert bestselling author,
Starting point is 00:17:29 host of the IAM Movement podcast, from Farmboy to Real Estate and Business Guru. Mentor and self-made millionaire, Rock has studied one-on-one with the world's best teachers, Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield, Wayne Dyer, love him, and more on his mission to inspire others to create their best life on their terms. His goal cast video alone was viewed by over 100 million people,
Starting point is 00:17:55 million using tools and strategies that are proven rock now teaches people how to create financial freedom by leveraging their purpose and passion or to live not just a successful life, but a fulfilled one. Founder of the I Am movement, he is known as the man who redefines lies. So I can't wait to hear what you think about rock
Starting point is 00:18:15 and we'll be bringing him back right after this. We have different guests each week. We're going to the church, all of us, really. And we're back and I'm so excited for you to meet rock, Thomas. What's going on? Hey, I tell you what, I'm glad to be well, not here in Miami with you, but with you. Well, I'm happy even though it's by Zoom to have you here. So rock, as my
Starting point is 00:18:36 audience knows, I had a difficult childhood. However, I will say digging into your amazing videos, viral videos with over a hundred million views, I've learned that I am not alone here and I was hoping you could share that your backstory. Probably everybody's had their own version of difficult and even those that haven't had difficult, they have to deal with trying to be perfect and different things so
Starting point is 00:19:06 we all have to deal with our childhoods and being bullied. In my case I was the youngest of seven I grew up in a farm I had a Dutch German father who believed in discipline and hard work and throwing you out to feed the 22 horses. I mean at the age of eight and a half I think it's a little bit harsh up and can it in the winters opening the barn door and seeing rats and there was a lot of fear and I just learned to suck it up and David Goggins it now as far as I call it. But you know, I learned that in life, if you do what is difficult, then life
Starting point is 00:19:36 becomes easy. And if you do what is easy, then eventually, you're going to come across difficult and it's going to be much more difficult for you to have success. So I've turned into being a great employee, a great entrepreneur because you become incredibly resourceful growing up on a farm. Horses and annals need to be fed 365 days a year. They don't care if it's Christmas Thanksgiving or birthday or you're sick. And so I learned as an entrepreneur that there's always a way and that confidence comes from knowing that you can find the way Versus most people are confident only when they're competent and there's another layer, right?
Starting point is 00:20:14 Tom Brady who I love sports metaphors or if you know, you're not people are in sports metaphors I'm from Boston. So I'm all for Tom Brady. Okay So if his best receiver goes down, he doesn't go crying back to Bill Belich. I can say, I can't play. Suit up the next guy. We make it work. He could lose three guys.
Starting point is 00:20:33 He's still going to call the next play. And I think that a lot of people in life stop calling the next play. They have fear, doubt, and worry. And they let that stop them. And they hesitate. They lose momentum. And then they shrivel up. And then they struggle. So that's been one of the benefits of going through
Starting point is 00:20:49 probably what you went through as a difficult childhood and I went through as you you'd get a bit of the warrior kind of attitude. You know for me it took a really long time to learn that that was a benefit right because when you're knee deep in it, it's hard to see. In fact, I was so paralyzed by fear in my early 20s that, you know, it was almost the opposite effect, I would say. Now, having hindsight, I can see it was definitely a benefit that set me up for success.
Starting point is 00:21:18 But for a long time, I would see the people that grew up wealthy, grew up with great parents. And I thought, and they were like on this clear cut path success. And it just looked so easy. You never experienced that? No, I did experience it. And it took me a long time. And I, you know, alcohol and drugs to numb the pain, a feeling sorry for myself, and feeling alone, and feeling like I didn't fit in. My neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my neck, my And my nickname as a kid was bone dog and pizza face. And I was a skinny little kid. I was shy and I did not speak. And my brothers and sisters, I was younger. It's the seven.
Starting point is 00:21:52 They would laugh at me and say, he can't even talk. So I became even more introverted. And then they called me pizza face. So I hid in my room because I had acne. And I didn't want to go to school. So I stopped going to school. I go pretended being sick. So now it's not a good combination
Starting point is 00:22:06 thinking you're ugly and stupid, not one that I recommend. So when I was in my late 30s, I met a guy who started asking me questions and I told him about the story of pizza face and he goes, you still feel that way. You still have that version of yourself even though you're now an adult.
Starting point is 00:22:24 And I said, yeah, you're right. And he goes, do you want to change that? What do you mean, change that? He goes, you can change your identity. It was totally foronding. Long story short, he had me choose another idol, and I chose Clint Eastwood. And he says, how do you describe Clint Eastwood in your mind? I go, well, he's not pretty like Tom Cruise.
Starting point is 00:22:43 He's more like Ruggedly Hensom. And as I said that, my face lit up and he goes, say that again. I go, Ruggedly Hensom. He goes, that's it. No more pizza face. From now on, you rock Thomas are Ruggedly Hensom. And that moment changed my life.
Starting point is 00:22:59 And I drove home. I remember driving home, saying over and over again, because this is what he told me, the words that follow I am following you, to say, I am, ruggedly handsome, I am, ruggedly handsome, and I was crying, saying it, because for the first time I realized I could change the labels that had been offered to me
Starting point is 00:23:18 by people that didn't get a shit about my outcome. They wanted to feel better about themselves. And then I went on from, I'm a hard worker to I work smart. And I took my business from struggling sales person to the top sales person. Then I bought the company and the rest is history. You just made that sound so easy.
Starting point is 00:23:37 And I have people asking me all the time, I used to have a lot of negative self-talk in my head where I beat myself up. Why did you do that again? You blew it. What the heck's wrong with you? You know, not outside. People didn't know I was saying it,
Starting point is 00:23:49 but in my own mind, I was running that tape. And I had to work for years. I went through therapy. I, you know, self-development work on my own, et cetera. And ultimately, I ended up rewriting a script. You know, and I am script that I wanted to say to myself. It happened for me after I had my son because I didn't want him to grow up and make some of these same mistakes I made.
Starting point is 00:24:10 So I worked really hard for him and then I started feeling better. But for me, that took a long time. I didn't have that crying moment. For you, it sounded really connected in that moment with that ruggedly handsome. I wonder why for some people, it is instantaneous and for others it seems to take a lot longer. Well, I don't know in your case, but you may have learned how to disassociate your emotions
Starting point is 00:24:32 to survive and that's a really powerful skill to have. And I do it too and I have done it and I'm capable of doing it. And the best example is if you've ever had something happen and later on you look at your leg and you're like, oh my god, I'm bleeding. And you didn't notice it, right? It's because you're adrenaline's running, you're doing something else.
Starting point is 00:24:51 So you can literally change your focus. But it was one of those aha moments for me. It was like a freeing out of a prison that I didn't know I'd created for myself. Because I wanted so much connection and love with my brothers and sisters and to belong that I would do anything I became the pleaser right I used to play monopoly with my brother and he would win every game and any game that he wasn't winning He would accidentally knock the board over in the middle of the game. So my brain
Starting point is 00:25:20 Associated to I'm a loser. I lose all the time. And when I lose, people want me around because he would play with me as long as I would lose. So it's amazing the little subtleties that happen in our brain because the strongest, one of the strongest forces is we want to connect and belong in this whole COVID thing. It's been a real challenge for most people because you know, I don't know about you, but I'm a hugger and a high fiver and all that so I see people and now they're like oh the elbow and they don't touch me and I'm like whoa it's really tough for me but growing up we look for a place to belong and that's why bullying is so difficult on people because it's the exact opposite they're saying you don't fit in you don't belong
Starting point is 00:26:01 I don't love you I don't like you, I don't like you, you're not enough. So people develop coping mechanisms in mind was to become the pleaser. But after a while, I tried that technique at school, I started to get beaten up. People saw me this week. So I didn't like that so much. And then one day I became unleashed. And I went after the biggest guy in school, jumped on his back and started counting him and he beat the crap out of me.
Starting point is 00:26:29 But everybody else knew that I was fearless. They were like, he will come a cause, he will hurt himself and I just don't want to go down that path. So I made a mark for myself. So the unwinding of all of that Heather is what you know you go to therapy for and you start to cast some awareness around that. So yeah no it's it sounds very simple it was not simple it was a lot of hard work and there's still process with it right I've
Starting point is 00:26:58 been in and out of relationships that's the part that's been difficult for me because I put this demand on the women in my life to give me all the love I didn't get as a kid, which is totally unfair. And it would last for a while until it wasn't sustainable anymore. So, you know, it's a working progress. National security experts are warning. Our aging power grid is more vulnerable than ever. January marked a third time a power station, North Carolina was damaged by gunfire. Authorities are saying the attack raises a new level of threat. Authorities are now checking our grid for vulnerabilities. They've identified nine key substations. If these substations are attacked power could be knocked out from coast to coast for up
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Starting point is 00:30:09 who's been divorced and gone through this, you know, a lot of it for me too, went back to people pleasing and wanting to make people happy. And now at 46 years old, I'm so good at saying no to people. It's crazy, but I reflect back on how much money I gave up when I was younger, how many opportunities I gave up when I was younger, because I thought the idea of telling someone no would hurt them or put them in a bad spot.
Starting point is 00:30:36 So in order to please, you know, you just, you'll just say, yes, and I hear from men and women today, a lot of people struggle with how to say, no, how did you start teaching yourself to do that? You know, it was a process. And I'm somebody who likes to serve and I have an incredible amount of energy. So saying no is, in fact, I have a saying
Starting point is 00:30:58 is say yes and figure it out later. And it's dangerous, Richard Branson says, say yes and learn it later, which is the same philosophy. But if you don't know what you want, it's easy to say yes to a lot of things. When you're clear on what you want, it's like, hey, do you want to go to a yoga class tomorrow? Yes. Do you want to go out tomorrow night and hang out with friends and drink a two o'clock in the morning? Maybe. No. Like, you need to know what's important to you. So I think I got really clear on what my mission was,
Starting point is 00:31:29 and my mission was to become wealthy, and be as healthy as I possibly could, to be a great dad. And so I said, yes, to the things that were in a line and with that. That's really smart and simple and well said, and that for me, the things that I hear from people are smaller things.
Starting point is 00:31:45 So for example, someone asked me to go to a show and it was conflicting with something I had going on my day. It's a can't bake it. Let's look at another date next week. And she came back and said, how's that so easy for you? I just looked at my schedule and it didn't work, but I didn't have to look at, wait a minute, does this align with everything that I'm doing? Sometimes there are situations like that where it's a little bit easier, but for those bigger picture ones, I like that strategy to step back and think about, does this align with my big picture goals? And it's funny because given this time of COVID, things have changed, as you mentioned so rapidly, that even six months ago, my vision and focus was on my speaking business and moving that forward, full steam and everything in business went through that lens. Is this going to elevate
Starting point is 00:32:29 this business? And it was easy to see, but as my business is evolving and things are changing, it becomes a little murkier. You sometimes have to test things not knowing. Yeah, I mean, there's a lot of times I said, yes, the things in, and I'm like, oh my God, why did I say yes to that afterwards? But you don't always know, but you know, you know this is a speaker and as a leader and as a coach is that most people are not clear on what they want. They really aren't. When I coach with people, the first thing I ask them is what do they want? And most people, they tell me what they don't want.
Starting point is 00:33:00 And what you focus on expands, so I don't want to, I mean, with COVID, maybe not anymore, but I don't want to drive in traffic to work. I don't want to have this ticket boss. I don't want to have to do overtime. I don't want to say you everything you don't want. People need to spend more time focusing on what they value and what they do want and how they can become free. I teach people, you will be stuck in the rat race for the rest of your life unless you do this one thing is you need cash cash flowing assets and there's three categories. Realistic, investing in the stock market like Warren Buffett or owning a business. Otherwise, you're free. And most will want to be free, right? They want to work when they want and do different
Starting point is 00:33:41 things. But if you don't put your money to work for you or you don't leverage systems in people, you're going to do everything. And the microcosm of that is, do you do your shopping, do you clean your house, do you do your laundry, do you clean your pool, cut your grass, wash your car. And so I help people develop but do not do lists. So that gets bigger and bigger and bigger so they can do the things that fulfill them and that are dollar productive activities. So they can truly live an epic life. Miss one life we have, right? I think as far as I know, why not do stuff that makes you really happy and makes you a shit ton of money? Because people believe that might be for you, but they don't believe that it's necessarily for them. And it goes back to just in my experience
Starting point is 00:34:25 and the people that I have worked with and had the opportunity to get some insights from that self-doubt and that lack of confidence, that lack of certainty within. And oh, I should just be grateful for what I have right now and shrink back into this small area that I've created. Yeah, 100%. The thing is people don't choose your tribe consciously.
Starting point is 00:34:47 How do people choose their career? Most people do it because of proximity or pressure. When I was 17 years old, my left home, the first job I got was working for my sister's boyfriend because of proximity. He was a manager of McDonald's. I got a job at McDonald's. Some people get a job because of pressure. Their parents say you got to go to college, you need to become a doctor or a lawyer and
Starting point is 00:35:09 engineer. So they go down that path, invest five years in their education or more, and they do the job and they end up hating it. I have a guy who is a CPA who hated his job, had a big student loan, came to see me, and after we did this thing called Sacred Gifts, we out that it was he is the gift of teaching. We introduced him to short-term rentals. Today he has hundreds of clients and he teaches how to do short-term rentals
Starting point is 00:35:33 or Airbnb online. He has 28 doors. He retired as mom, his wife, and himself, and his three-year-old son, who had a heart condition. And they needed to be around him all the time. So him and his mother and his wife were rotating around the clock, never seeing each other. They all now work together and they're financially free in two and a half years. So people don't know what they don't know.
Starting point is 00:35:57 And there are beautiful vehicles out there that can meet somebody's skill, but you're a hundred percent right, Heather. People are like, oh, but I could not run a business. I don't have that skill set. I don't know how to invest in the stock market. That's for other people. For real estate, that sounds complicated. Don't you need a lot of money?
Starting point is 00:36:16 But what if the toilet breaks? So they talk to themselves out of it because they're not in the right fish tank. Need a fish tank where people are having that quality conversation that helps you believe you can do it. are not in the right fish tank. Need a fish tank where people are having that quality conversation that helps you believe you can do it. So how do you suggest people find that fish tank? Well, it's back to what we talked about before, as you got to know what you value.
Starting point is 00:36:33 Because a lot of people say they want to be financially free, but they don't really want to. They just want to be comfortable. There's a reason it's only three percent of the population that are wealthy, right? But if you're somebody who's really hungry and you have a drive, in other words, you have a work ethic and you're coachable, then you look for the community that resonates with you. So real estate, there's real estate groups all over the place. There's people that do stock training
Starting point is 00:36:56 and you can talk to people that have different businesses. The shortcut is you get in touch with me because I've accessed all of that, right? I mean, I've created a community eight years ago and I've created 64 whole life millionaires. Doing that, all of my buddies are experts in these different fields. So once we put you through our assessment and evaluation, we see what your skills are, we say, you would be probably really good at online sales or at speaking or coaching
Starting point is 00:37:25 or at running a real estate in this particular niche. And by the way, you can't just stay static because how do you think retail real estate's doing these days, Heather? Not very well. Right, but a year ago it was the bomb, right? Student housing, the same thing. I just got out of my student housing
Starting point is 00:37:44 made 19% over three years, but right now, the same thing. I just got out of my student housing made 19% over three years, but right now, not so pretty. So I'm shifting my assets into industrial. Why? Because that's going to be the move. You're going to have fulfillment centers because we're all going to be ordering online, the majority of our stuff. And you need warehouses all over the world. And Amazon just announced that they're coming out with 1500 warehouses in different cities so they can do the same day service to compete with Walmart and Target So I'm moving my money into industrial and into self-storage because that's gonna be the next boom
Starting point is 00:38:15 The reason I do that not because I'm so smart But the guys I hang out with that are worth a hundred million dollars That's what they track they own transportation companies. They have their year to the ground there, and I just follow this smart money. But if you're not in that room, having that conversation, you're down earning three and six percent of return your money, you're going to be poor for the rest of your life. Yeah, that whole concept scares people so much to enter into a new arena where you don't have experience. Like you were saying before, the lack of confidence stems from the lack of competence.
Starting point is 00:38:45 If they haven't done real estate deals and they don't own real estate previously, the idea to get in now where there's so much uncertainty paralyzes them. And for me, it takes you back to 08.09. What I learned from that window was, there was opportunity everywhere. However, I had my head down in the grindstone,
Starting point is 00:39:03 just grateful to keep my job trying to outwork everybody so that I could show I was worth keeping around. And I lost all those opportunities. And it's interesting now to apply that reasoning and that lens to today because it's exactly, well, not exactly because it wasn't an illness,
Starting point is 00:39:18 but in regards to another recession and what's happening right now with uncertainty everywhere, it's very similar. Yeah, it's a great point is a lot of people are stuck in the weeds and they're just trying to stay afloat because they're not following the principles of wealth creation. And so they don't teach it in specificities fault. They teach you what? You know, go get a job and then get a good education, get another job, and so people are just following the programming. But if you really follow the way wealthy people behave in what they do, it's a completely different track. And once you get on that track, then you can
Starting point is 00:39:51 accelerate towards success. And that's, you know, for me, I've got, I think, 40 streams of income and in real estate, I have books and online products, et cetera, et cetera. But once you get a few of them that are passive or mostly passive, then you can go focus on the next one and then go focus on the next one. And then before you know it, you're living off of 5 or 10% of your wealth and you have so much more to reinvest. On one of the calls in the soonest COVID hit, I did 12 days of Zoom calls every day with a different thought leader. And one of the conversations was around, where's the next opportunity? And he goes, what platform are we using right now to communicate everybody? Zoom!
Starting point is 00:40:31 And he goes, look at the price of Zoom stock. And he goes, I'm not going to advise you to buy it, but I'm going to tell you to watch it and make a decision for yourself. It was around $100. Do you have any idea what it is today? I don't. Over 400. Oh my gosh. and make a decision for yourself. It was around $100. Do you have any idea what it is today? I don't. Over 400.
Starting point is 00:40:47 Oh my gosh. So it's about a 350% return during the worst time when everybody has their head down, just trying to survive. And yet, some of us made 350% on our money in six months. So there's opportunity all the time, but again, you've got to get into that VIP room. When Elon Musk came out with his IPO 10 years ago for Tesla, had a good friend of mine,
Starting point is 00:41:14 and he said, rock, mortgage your house, and put everything you have into Tesla. And I go into what? There's Tesla. You know Elon Musk, I know, I don't know him. And the stock came out at $17, Heather. Today, it's over $2,000. Was that a good enough friend that you actually did mortgage your house? Ha, ha, ha. I know here's the point. Is back then, I had a maybe a millionaire mindset,
Starting point is 00:41:42 but not a hundred millionaire mindset. And that's exactly what happens to people. A lot of people that are struggling have a thousand millionaire mindset, but not a hundred million in our mindset. And that's exactly what happens to people. A lot of people that are struggling have a thousand in their mindset or a 10,000 in their mindset. That's their thermostat, that's what they're used to. So I wasn't ready to receive that opportunity. So I didn't do anything. Now, I have bought a Tesla myself the car last year,
Starting point is 00:42:01 and I've started to buy some of the stock, and the stock has actually also gone up 300% this year. So better to be late to the party than not at all, but if you had put $10,000 into Tesla when it came out, you would have something like $4 million. That's a big multiple. It can change your life. There are opportunities like that right now happening, but you got to be in the right room. So I understand your got to be in the right room. So I understand your point with being around the right people and I couldn't agree more. You need people who are way further ahead of you so that they can help
Starting point is 00:42:32 destruction and grow you and bring you along versus the ones that want to hold you back that have never been where you want to go, right? However, I still struggle with this personally and with what I see around this money mindset concept because personally for me, I've made more money when I was more scared and had a scarcity mindset than I have when I'm really confident have a great mindset and things are mentally and internally going fantastic. And I've seen countless people worth hundreds of millions of dollars who have major scarcity mindsets, really negative. It's almost shocking to me to see their level of financial success.
Starting point is 00:43:12 How do you explain that when you believe so strongly that there is a certain mindset that attracts money to you? You know, it's a great question. Some people, you know, what we'll get you here won't get you there. Some people that are worth $100 million will still not buy the $5 bottle of water in the hotel room and go downstairs and get the $1 bottle because that's what got them there, right? So there's a different conversation when it comes down to your emotional freedom and fulfillment. There are people that are billionaires that are depressed and that are fearful. But it's a job emotionally to be able to release that. And it's been a process
Starting point is 00:43:48 for me. I just can tell you from my experience. So before I used to be very, very cheap and frugal and was that way. And so the way I got myself out of it was there's a system called the Six Bank Accounts from T. Harbacher. Have you heard of it? No. So you divide your money into six bank accounts, 50% for your necessities, and then five of their jars. One of them is a fun jar. One of them is pay yourself first. Another one is give, another one's education. So I learned to take my money and divide it up, and then the fun jar, you have to spend
Starting point is 00:44:20 every month. Now, if this friend of yours had a fun jar, he would realize that he could spend $100,000 a month and it would totally not wreck his budget. So for me, I remember two years ago, was every time I went on vacation, I could spend $500 a day. And then it's my wealth went up, it became $1,000 a day, and then $1,500 and then $2,000 and then $3,000. So when I go on vacation, I get there and the hotel room say it was $600 bucks for a night and I'm like, yes, 600 bucks Okay, $2,400 more to go for today. How much of the massages? They're only 185. All right, we'll take two and I have to I have to spend the three grand every day
Starting point is 00:44:56 because if I don't that programming from not ordering a big Mac with cheese on it and saving 15 cents from cheese, not that I eat that anymore, was so hardwired in me to get me to be successful because every dime I reinvested, no longer serves me long term. And so that gentleman just hasn't gone through there or woman has not gone through that process
Starting point is 00:45:20 of realizing that we just form money personality types. These are the things we go through to help release people emotionally, because from what the thinking that got you here will not get you to bear. And that is so absolutely true, and I've seen that so many times in my life, you can achieve a certain level of success
Starting point is 00:45:37 and cap yourself unless you're willing to innovate, take risk and try to grow from there. You've pointed to the people that you're surrounding yourself with. What are the other things that are critical for someone to get to that next level other than the people they're surrounded with? I wrote a book called Your Epic Life Boop Root and I have 10 rules. I believe their habits are rules. I just grab any one. Rule number nine is the power of reframing. So when I was 40 years old I lost all my hair to alopecia and it's a autoimmune disease
Starting point is 00:46:06 of the hair follicles, nothing else. It just means that your system is taxed. I ran a marathon without preparing. I was going through a divorce. I went to Fiji and went through a cleanse for seven days, and when I came back, I lost all my hair. And, you know, the power of questions creates focus. And so people were saying to me, are you okay?
Starting point is 00:46:25 Are you dying? Is this what's wrong with you? So I started to doubt myself. I was like, instead I started to research it and I finally just figured out what it was and I was then a little bit reassured. But at the same time, it changed my entire look. And I questioned myself at 40 years old.
Starting point is 00:46:42 People are going to think I'm old, I'm bald. What if they think I'm ugly? I love bald. What if they think I'm ugly? I love them. What do they think you're ruggedly handsome? Exactly. And imagine the power of the brain that played those tapes. I have no eyelashes, no eyelashes, no hair in my nose. When it's cold in Canada, it's not comes out my nose because the hair is there to stop it.
Starting point is 00:47:06 I know all these things happening that created doubt and insecurity, but there is a way around it. You can ask yourself a better question. So I said to myself, what's great about this? And my brain first said, well, there's nothing great about losing all your hair. And I said, well, what could be great?
Starting point is 00:47:19 I'll never have a bad hair day. That's great. I don't have to spend money going to get my hair cut. And I don't know, spend money going to get my haircut. I don't know. I spend minutes less getting ready of the buy shampoo and I started to feel great about it. So there's a power in reframing. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% the meaning you give it. So I just learned to give it a better meaning. And then I started to realize that a Greek friend who he would go and get his, he was so hairy, he had to go and get wax hair removed from his back. And he would complain
Starting point is 00:47:51 about it, how painful it was and how much it cost. And I'm like, you want alopecia, don't you? He was like, he's like, actually, I do. And then I would go and get a massage and they'd like, how is it you have no hair in your body? It's so easy to massage you, right? And I was just like, elevation. And that's really it. And so then I started to get the references of how great it was. So for me, part of success is just understanding.
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Starting point is 00:50:54 Croger, fresh for everyone. So hearing you explain that, and I'm not trying to say I understand what that's like, because I've never gone through that. So I imagine that would have been horrific the moment it happened. It reminds me the day I got fired from corporate America. Everything seemed to be bleak.
Starting point is 00:51:12 There was nothing good. I had lost everything. That was the only way I could see or think. And other people would say, no, you're so talented. No, you don't understand Heather, but I couldn't hear anyone. And it took me, I'd say about 30 days
Starting point is 00:51:26 to be able to employ what you're suggesting right now. I couldn't do it at first. However, because I was able to reframe that situation and make it work for me instead of against me, ultimately, it took me a month. But once I was able to implement that strategy in my life and in my business, now, henceforth, I'm able to very quickly,
Starting point is 00:51:47 when COVID hit, I'm real fast at now. It just keeps every time you employ that strategy, which is 100% correct around the reframe, it becomes easier and easier and more natural and don't you see yourself jumping and I'm gonna have to think about it anymore. It's like a muscle, right? It's just like a muscle gratitude practices or a muscle.
Starting point is 00:52:07 What's great about this? I mean, I have bands now that say what's great about this. I do talks on it culturally and my business is something goes wrong and employee quits or you get fired or something changes or computer system breaks down or like just whatever. And the general common culture in my organizations is okay. what's great about this how do you pivot how do you make it work and I learned that really on the farm is you know the the pipes that brought water to the horses in the field would get frozen in the winter and then you had to carry buckets and you go what's great about this well nothing was great about great about them then, but you know what, it made me stronger. It was like a shoulder workout. And so you learn over time that you have a choice, right? You can have a pity party or you can make the best of it.
Starting point is 00:52:53 So successful people I could talk to about before Tom Brady. He doesn't give, I remember when he was down 27 points or whatever it was in that famous game, third quarter, and he marched up and down the bench and they have a recording of it and he goes, don't let doubt in your mind. We are coming back, right? And doubt is the devil. And most people allowed doubt to come in because they don't look to reframe the opportunity. And there's the five stages of grief that you should go through, because sometimes just schlepping it off when something happens and not going through it emotionally, it'll boomerang on you later.
Starting point is 00:53:30 It's okay to be angry, it's okay to be sad, but you want to be conscious of it so that when you get to the acceptance piece, you can have peace with it versus just racing there and then later, you know, that's the person that cuts you off and then everybody starts arguing, it's never because of the cutting off, it's because of something else that happened that now was an outlet, poetic girl, right? So true. And I believe Tom implemented that same strategy from week one of the NFL and Tampa to his second week because he was able to completely turn it around.
Starting point is 00:54:02 You saw a different player and different team out there. So, yeah, the sports analogy is such a good one because we can actually see it live on TV from week to week happening. And as well as I was watching the Celtics and Heat and the playoffs right now in the same exact thing, the first two games, the Heat owned it, but the momentum completely shifted
Starting point is 00:54:21 to the Celtics in the last game. So in order for the heat to emerge again, they're gonna have to find that way, not to let doubt in, because once that takes off, those dominoes just keep on rolling. You know, it's interesting you say that because real competitors,
Starting point is 00:54:37 they actually love the art of competing. It's really like it's not the Super Bowl. It's being up against the best other athletes in the world and having to constantly search for your higher self, the best part of you, the part that doesn't play the victim, the part that wants to be even more. And I think that's why relationships, intimate relationships are so difficult because we open ourselves up vulnerably to want to be needy, like get attention or be special or important. And then if that person doesn't provide that expectation at the time, you feel so make it and so
Starting point is 00:55:12 open. We're in a sport, you can kind of just man up and call the next play and go hard at it. So it's really interesting to watch the desire to be our very very best and what are the tools and resources and and that's you know It's been my life's passion is to find the ways to do that and to help other people find the ways to do that But there is a path rule number 10 in my book is there is a path There's a path for you and there's a path for me to have everything we want and just like on a great Duray hunt think about the energy on a great, great, great hunt, think about the energy of a child on an Easter egg hunt,
Starting point is 00:55:48 positive anticipation, curiosity, looking high and low, excited, belief at a very high level that there are eggs out there. Imagine if people got up every morning believing that things were gonna be awesome. Wonderful things were going to happen. That they could make a difference. That the path for their joy and success and happiness was there.
Starting point is 00:56:10 They just had to be putting in the effort to go find it. And so that, I think, is a really big part of that. Unfortunately, as a culture is not really encouraged. Why are you so enthusiastic and passionate, Rock? Come on, man. Just come have a beer, man. You're going to work again, are you? So and passionate, Rock? Come on, man, just come have a beer, man, you're gonna work again, are you? So we beat each other down. So that's why I go back to what I said before.
Starting point is 00:56:31 I selfishly created my own tribe eight years ago, and I continue to seek and find out, find bad-ass people to include. And this is the price of membership, is you've got to support, encourage or challenge each other, support, encourage or challenge. There, support, encourage or challenge. There's no blame in criticizing and complaining.
Starting point is 00:56:48 That's for the real world out there. But in our world, you either support, encourage or challenge. So I might ask you Heather, what is one of your goals? You'll tell me your plan, your strategy, and I have a job, which is either to support, encourage or challenge you. It could be, hey, did you think of this? Or do you need that resource?
Starting point is 00:57:05 Oh, I know, John, he's doing that too. Maybe you should reach out to him and you guys could collaborate or get him insight. I think that's much better. Yeah, of course, it's much better. But that goes back to that age old advice that your family wants to give you or these people that are surrounding you. They're trying to protect you. And in fact, it's trying to protect you. And in
Starting point is 00:57:25 fact, it's kind of holding you down versus what you're talking about, which is curating the people that you're selecting and picking who are ahead of you and of like mindset, successful and really trying to stretch you. And for me, I know I've fallen
Starting point is 00:57:38 into that, okay, oh, everyone's looking out for me. I shouldn't go do this. That's too risky for a long time. I fell into that and it took a very conscious decision making tactic to say, okay, I can no longer take advice from people who are not near where I wanna go or haven't been there successfully. And that's something that I constantly stop myself
Starting point is 00:58:01 and say, wait a minute, is this a person I should be taking advice on this topic from? No, typically nine out of 10 times, it's a big no. And less like you said, it's people like chosen to bring around me for that purpose. Yeah, Ray Dalio in his book, Principles, he says, triangulate with people of merit. People of merit, listen to people that have merit in that area.
Starting point is 00:58:23 If you want to improve your nutrition, well, maybe somebody who for 25 years they've studied nutrition and they've looked at it from left right and center. That might be a quality conversation to listen to. But listen to the person beside you saying, you know what, a couple of burgers a week, it's not going to make a big difference. It might not be the best advice, right? Or when you get called from somebody that wants to invest your money, and they're really just a broke stock broker that's looking to add to their portfolio, another client, but they've never invested more than $10,000.
Starting point is 00:58:55 I don't even invest with that. I invest with people that have more money than me, right? It's so funny that you say that the first story that popped into my mind is that most of the time it's not intentionally bad advice and I'm not a nutritionist at all, never have been. And my son called me, I was with my trainer
Starting point is 00:59:11 outside the other day and he called me and he said, hey, can I get Uber Eats while you're on your way home? I said, oh sure, because I feel so bad for my son and he's in quarantine and anytime he wants something like a treat, I think, oh great. Yeah, let's do it. I want to keep him happy. And my trainer hears the call and I hang up and she lit me up.
Starting point is 00:59:32 And it was a great point she made. She said, you're harming him. And of course, as a mother, I would never harm. That's not my intent, right? I'm trying to help him feel better. But when she explained it to me in the way that she did, she was like, okay, here's what I suggest you do, and here's something that can help him,
Starting point is 00:59:48 and here's something you can feel good about, and he'll feel good about long term. Here I was as a parent trying to do something to make my son feel better. I was actually harming him inadvertently, and it took an expert on the outside to bring my attention to that. And it was just kind of a,
Starting point is 01:00:02 it was a cool experience that sometimes we think we're helping and we're not. And that's again, back to, it's just so valuable to have an expert around. Yeah, I mean, we are ultimately going to give into our environment. So that's why I went on this quest to collect people that are smarter than me, better than me, healthier than me,
Starting point is 01:00:21 you know, like this, the industrial deal I'm going in, the guys worth $100 million. So that's, there's a track record there. There's a history of experience and the board of directors are also many of the multi-multimultimultimillionaires or worth more and those people are making decisions based on a big picture and decades of study. So that makes me feel very confident about the investment versus, my bank wants me to invest in a mutual fund that'll make 68%.
Starting point is 01:00:52 You know, come on, man. But that's not gonna get me to where I wanna go. So, but finding the people, and there are also people who screw you over and people that are not truthful and people that will be Duponsi schemes. So it's a bit, you know, it's a lot of work to navigate through that. And sometimes people just get tired and go, you know what, I'll just put it in the bank at 3%. I just can't, you know, or they get hurt. I've been, you
Starting point is 01:01:18 know, it's not gone the way I wanted to in some investments. And then you're like, man, if I had just done nothing, I'd be better off. So you got to navigate through all of that. And it goes back to how badly Heather, do you or I want the greatest life possible? And what are we willing to do? I think it's rocky that says, it's not how hard you punch. It's how hard you can be punched and get back up.
Starting point is 01:01:41 It's so true. So tell me about the 90 day challenge. So what we discovered is that 90 days are really sweet spot for people to make a transformation. Some people say 21 days of change, I have it 66. I don't know. I think it all has to do with the intensity of your intention. When I got in my car and I was like, I'm ruggedly handsome,
Starting point is 01:02:00 I'm ruggedly handsome. Or I could say, I'm rugged ugly handsome, it's different, right? So the more you use your physiology, the more intensity, the more you have energy around it, the more you can make a transformation. You can make a snap like that. Have a car accident while you're texting, you may never text again and you may tell
Starting point is 01:02:18 all your friends not to do it either. But have a near brush miss or what have you, you know, you may still do it. So the 90 day challenges about taking the top 10 rules, the things that allowed me to become a millionaire, and the things that I teach all the people in my mastermind groups, and creating the habits and rituals around that. If information transformed people's lives,
Starting point is 01:02:37 and you know this, so I'm speaking to the preaching that converted, is if information transformed everybody, everybody would have the results they want because everything's available on Google. But information is not transformation. It's the application of information that transforms. So in a community of people that every week are discussing in a mastermind setting, each rule or habit every week, and then going out and playing with it and practicing it and then coming back and getting feedback. That's how you transform. Tom Brady will stay with that one, you know, after the first game where he didn't win it, he went back, they reviewed the homes, they looked, they tweaked, they adjusted. He said, Hey, this is the first time you're playing in competition with these players. Now go here, go here, go here, and you look to way better in the second game.
Starting point is 01:03:25 And that is the simple formula. Information with practice and then feedback and then information with practice and feedback leads you to mastery. So for 90 days, we walk people through the what I believe are the 10 habits of the millionaire mind. And then you have this foundation that you can rest any vehicle or any goal you want in your life upon for the rest of your life. And so we're really excited about that and that's a process that's worked for a lot of people and it's the corners. Don't know what I teach you. I've seen massive change in people I've worked with in 90 days and I can't agree with you more that you know 30 is just too short of a window to see real transformation. It's great to start implementing some standards and understandings of what
Starting point is 01:04:08 the principles people need to implement, but to watch some type of transformation and growth, you've got to have those 90 days to really crystallize it and see some results. Yeah, and you know, with technology today, what happens is they get a video. They'll probably get tired of my voice after a while, but they'll get a video with each rule for about 15 or 20 minutes that I just read it. This is a course I've had for over 12 years, and I just brought it to the modern age, the language changes with social media and everything, and they used to be 45 minutes long, so we're more like 20 minutes now, get in, get out, and then you get on a call and
Starting point is 01:04:44 a Zoom call with other people, 30, 40, 50 people. And you get into breakout sessions. You start to discuss the rule and their perspectives, and you have coaches in the environment. And then you start to really wrap your head around it, and then you go out and implement it, and then you come back, and you have an accountability now, to, okay, so what did you do?
Starting point is 01:05:04 How did that play out? And so the application now isn't just you reading a book on your own or you just downloading a course because the finishing rate on downloadable courses is about 6%. People need community more than ever now. So I love what Zoom has done in the breakout rooms and then in 90 days you're going through this process and you actually get to own these new habits and it creates a lifelong. I got a guy who did the course. He was selling basements up in Canada. It's where they raised the house and they put in new foundations, the old rooms. And he was a very average salesperson. He smoked, he was about 30 pounds
Starting point is 01:05:42 overweight, didn't really work out, you know, his typical once or twice, go into the gym, single guy, and he took the course and no exaggeration. Within the 90 days, he got his ass in the gym, lost 20 pounds, quit smoking, quit drinking, and then within 90 days after the completion of the course became the top salesperson, tripling the sales and beating all other three salespeople in sales. Then he put his mum on the course. She was a CPA, he loved it so much. And during the time his mum was on the course, he met his fiancee and got married. Bam! All of that from one course. And he rewrote the course, took notes, and sent me a book on what he wrote. And he said, this is my Bible for the rest of my life.
Starting point is 01:06:26 Now, that's not a testimonial. I don't know what is. And I could go on and on with many others, but that's, that was pretty freaking epic. Now, you asked me why I do what I do. That's pretty fulfilling. That's an obvious why. I mean, the fact that I think one of the hardest things people
Starting point is 01:06:42 can do is to stop smoking. I believe that's one of the top three things that be in their lives, right? So just that alone is epic. When you stack all the other things and we've helped people lose a hundred pounds that struggled their whole life, we had one woman that was abused as a child
Starting point is 01:07:02 and she had carried 60 pounds of protection with her entire life. She was able to shed that and release that. Her husband, who was a teacher, quit his job when he saw what she did. And then he took the course and he now owns seven Arabian bees and he's a life coach. I mean, I'm telling you, it's pretty epic stuff. It's very gratifying. And that's why we call it the journey of the whole life in the arena. It's not just about creating money. It's holistically, I believe you can have it all.
Starting point is 01:07:33 You can be in great shape. You can have great communication and connections and relationships. You can become a better son. Five years ago, I bought a house for my mom. She was in a senior assisted living. I bought a house for her, moved her into the house. She lost 40 pounds, does gardening. I mean, there's so much you can do on this planet if you have the right toolbox. And this is a really cool toolbox, I believe. So how can everyone find that toolbox?
Starting point is 01:07:59 You can go to rocktomest.com, forward slash VIP. And you'll find some tools there. You can go to my website, of course, rocktdowns.com. You can follow me on social media. I'll let you get a lot of free information. I have a podcast called Rock Your Money, Rock Your Life. And you'll learn a lot of free stuff there as well. So, I mean, we'll meet you wherever you're at. We're happy to take you from wherever you are, wherever you want to go.
Starting point is 01:08:20 And then I have some mastermind groups, which is a whole year long thing. And we do trips together. Yeah. We're happy to take you from wherever you are, to wherever you want to go. And then I have some mastermind groups, which is, it's a whole year long thing and we do trips together. Yeah, so check it out there. I'll include all of those links in the show notes rock. Thank you so much for being here and continue your good work
Starting point is 01:08:37 and turning people's lives around. It's amazing to see. My pleasure. Remember, man, rock your money, you can get to rock your life. Whole tight will be right back. I, you can get to rock your life. Whole tight will be right back. I ask you to try to find your passion. I hope you loved meeting rock as much as I loved sitting down
Starting point is 01:08:53 and getting the chance to speak with them. Okay, let's cut to Q&A. I got a bunch of questions this week from all over the place, Instagram, LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, everywhere. You can find me anywhere. Okay, first one, here we go. Hey Heather, I hope this message finds you well.
Starting point is 01:09:08 Thank you. For the last two years, I have been severely, verbally abused and bullied by my boss. This is taking a toll on me and my family, and I need to get a new job. I was wondering if you could help me any advice is welcome. I'm in the education field.
Starting point is 01:09:24 Okay, first of all, I'm gonna go to this. Number one welcome. I'm in the education field. Okay, first of all, I'm going to go to this. Number one, if you're in the education field, why not start your own business on the side and start working with people remotely as someone who is helping these kids that are in Zoom School. You can charge a lot of money. You can charge a premium. There are opportunities out there. I know there's a need as I am a parent who has a child in Zoom School and I don't know how to help him, right? So there's a business that you can create and start now today and you can do it after hours of your existing job. If you want, if you so choose, you can do it at night and on the weekends, you can help people, you can make money and create a path to get out of your situation.
Starting point is 01:10:02 The most important thing, and I talk about this a lot, is firing your villain. You have a villain in your life. You need to fire that villain. Don't let me mince words here. Fire that villain. Walk in there and quit that job. It is the most important thing for you, your sanity, your family, and your health.
Starting point is 01:10:23 So walk in there tomorrow and quit, and you will figure out where you go next, whether it be starting your own business, because you're going to work virtually with kids in Zoom schools, whether it be you put out there on social media that you had to leave your job because you were being bullied at work
Starting point is 01:10:41 and that you're looking for a great place to work with good people. Update your resume and send it out to everybody that you know. Go take an inventory of all the testimonials you have of, you know, what's great about working with you and start promoting that. Send that out to people. Ask people to connect you to different opportunities. But make it known.
Starting point is 01:10:59 You are free, eligible, and looking for work and start working immediately on these one-on-one opportunities where you can work with kids remotely. I really believe that the most important thing you do is go in there and quit and get away from someone that's bullying you, verbally abusing you, fire that villain now, and the opportunities will come to you. Okay, hey Heather, I've been following you
Starting point is 01:11:23 since your James, I'll to share podcasts a few few years ago. Yay James, you're doing great work and I engage with your LinkedIn often. I pivoted this year on business from a product company to consulting. We work with tech resellers to help them sell software and services. The challenges these guys are struggling this year big time. I'm connected to most of my target audience. I'm linked in and write many blogs and do videos to help them. That being said, how can you help me? So I asked for clarity. I said, what is the actual problem you are looking to solve? I don't understand. Are you trying to drive more clients to your clients? I'm not clear. And he said, yes. He said, he needs more clients that will pay him for his work.
Starting point is 01:12:05 We work with them to upsell cross-sell their existing customers on new solutions. So a few things here. One is I really need to look at how you're marketing yourself, right? Because marketing is everything. You can have a crappy product, but if you have amazing marketing, you're going to do a lot of business. It's sad, but it's true, right? You might not have a lot of reoccurring business, but you're going to pull people towards you. So people are purchasing right now
Starting point is 01:12:28 on a need basis. Something appears to be something they need, not a want, which is the way people used to buy on a want basis. And that's changed because of the pandemic. How can you position your product and services as a need? So this person needs to look at his business as, okay, here's the problem that I solve. Here's why you can't afford not to work with me. And then I would give very specific examples, case studies, and testimonials to your work. So people know there's credibility, expertise, and that, you know, you get the job done. I'd offer 100% money back guarantee. How can people even question that when you say, I will guarantee results.
Starting point is 01:13:07 I do that with all of my coaching programs, all of my consulting. I know I'll get results. So stand behind your words, stand behind your business, really take a hard look at how you're marketing, leverage your credibility, your expertise, your testimonials,
Starting point is 01:13:19 and lead first with the problem that you're solving for people. That's the best way to really get their attention. And then showcase as why they need to work with you. Okay, hey Heather, I absolutely love your posts. I wish I could hire you as a coach, but I can't afford that right now. I've been a speaker for 15 years. Now I know I deserve to be a highly paid speaker. My question to you is how did you get past all of the negativity from the jobs you had? I am still having trauma from experience back in January. I'm even talking to a therapist about it hoping that as my business venture grows It will solidify exactly why I'm on the path I'm on. I can no longer
Starting point is 01:13:58 work for anyone else. My dream is to be a well-paid, and to give a TEDx talk to and even a podcast when you were growing your brand, did you know that you were going to do all three of those things, or did you just focus on one? I had no idea. If I don't make this clear, I had zero idea what I was going to do when I got fired. None. The only thing I did know is that I would take action and figure it out along the way, which is exactly what I did.
Starting point is 01:14:27 And, you know, me putting a post up that I got fired led me to the Elvis Durant show. He told me I was writing a book. I took that conviction that he had, and I ran with it. I wrote a book, and I self-published that book. And then I googled, how do you sell books? And it said, speak. And I said, great, I've been speaking for years.
Starting point is 01:14:43 And I just cold-called companies. And I set up a speaker circuit for myself. Then someone said, what's your fee? And I Googled speaker fees. And I saw how much money people got paid. And then I Googled speaker agencies. And then I started pitching myself to these speaker agencies. And then I took the one that I landed.
Starting point is 01:15:01 And I leveraged that to get the rest. And then I Googled other ways to sell books and it said, pop, be a guest on podcast. And I started turning up as a guest on every podcast under the sun until finally I realized, I need my own podcast. And then I pitched myself for a podcast. And then I took a breath from my podcasting
Starting point is 01:15:23 and I pitched myself for a TEDx talk. And then I pitched myself for a TEDx talk. And then I prepped for my TEDx talk. So I never knew any of these things were in the big plan. You know, it wasn't like I had some strategy when I got fired. I just kept taking action and one thing kept leading me to the next. And yes, there was many obstacles in the way.
Starting point is 01:15:43 I just didn't allow them to stop me. I stayed focused on solutions and clear on my goal that was ahead of me and you can too. Okay, so I think that's enough questions for today. We are going to shell the rest till next week. I hope that you got some value today. I hope you're out there creating your confidence. You know that I am.
Starting point is 01:16:02 I've got 60 days left to get my book done. I am so I've got 60 days left to get my book done. I am so and I can't wait. If you have any stories, issues that you want me to make sure that I include in the book, please drop me a DM, send me a note at my website, HeatherMonningand.com. I would love to hear from you. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. At a time when change is constant and we are pulled in far too many directions, we need a way to stay present to life and to increase our ability to remain calm, think clearly and maintain our well-being.
Starting point is 01:16:59 Many studies indicate mindfulness improves our mental, emotional and physical health. On a mindful moment with Theresa McKee, you can learn how to practice mindfulness and enjoy its many benefits. Tune in for guided meditations and to hear tips and advice from some of the most respected experts in the fields of mental health and mindfulness. The world truly can be a better place. It all starts with a mindful moment. health and mindfulness. The world truly can be a better place. It all starts with a mindful moment.

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