Creating Confidence with Heather Monahan - Seizing Opportunities with Kim Gravel Episode 27

Episode Date: November 5, 2019

Heather is joined by TV personality/host, business owner and overall powerhouse Kim Gravel about the importance of preparing for the opportunities that may come down the line, and taking them when they do. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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This has been such a crazy and intense week coming off of the TEDx talk and then heading back and forth to New York twice in the same week. The Gary V episode is live on Gary V audio experience. So check it out if you haven't listened to it yet. So grateful to Gary Vaynerchuk for having me on his show. And I'll tell you the feedback has been off of that chart. I'm so grateful for all the notes that I've received, but really digging into some different topics with Gary around fear.

And he turned it into a coaching session in the end, which I thought was so cool, because sometimes you see people online and they say, oh, you know, I believe in helping people and blah, blah, blah. But he really did. And he made something incredibly clear to me. Number one, he said that he definitely wanted to make sure that I doubled down on fear. And he wants me to lean into it even more and go bigger, which I loved hearing from him. He also talked about, he wants me posting so much more on LinkedIn, 15 times what I'm doing.

That made me sick to my stomach because I just don't have the bandwidth right now to accomplish everything I'm working on. And when I told him about that, he said, do the same thing you did with Froggy when you tweeted out that you wanted help and he tweeted back to you, I'll help you. He said, tweet out that you need support and you want an intern. And so I did that this

morning on LinkedIn and I have received so many unbelievable responses. It's unbelievably overwhelming. So again, what we ask for is what we're going to get. So whatever challenge you might be up against this week, jump on it, put it out there, put it out to the universe and see what comes back to you, lean in and step into that fear. So Gary's advice was fantastic, and you know, I'm following his direction, stepping into my fear,

and trying to double down on all of it. So super interesting stuff going on. I was asked on LinkedIn by a writer for Forbes if I would contribute to a couple of different articles on speaking, how to be a great presenter, and how to be a great speaker. And that opportunity came up because of the amount of content I post on LinkedIn around business, around speaking, and I've been doing that now. I've been really aggressive on LinkedIn probably for four years. So again, this didn't

happen overnight, but now some pretty significant, you know, Forbes is a great opportunity, and I did not go looking for that one. However, you know, I'm pulling those opportunities to me by creating content. So no matter what niche you're in, no matter what you're doing, if you're creating content around those topics and you're being really consistent with it and unique, you will start attracting those opportunities. And again, this did not happen overnight because I can tell you last year, I was so frustrated at the amount of work I put into things and things would only happen when I was really pushing the train up the hill. It wasn't just flowing into me. And it's really started to take a small turn and some things are showing up for me now which is really it's cool but it was about not giving up even during those days when geez I didn't know if this was gonna work you know I really I second-guess myself so often so

don't second-guess yourself lean into the fear stay committed to your vision your goal create content keep networking keep showing up And those are the keys that have gotten me to where I am today, which is at that next level. And now I'm looking to leapfrog this level and get to that next one. So what was cool about the Forbes article is that this writer said to me, Hey, Heather, if you want, since I talked about the importance of how you dress when you're speaking to really step into your confidence and step into your power, for me, I really believe

in wearing my power colors. That's red or it's blue or you know, I have a couple different colors that are my go-to. It's like putting armor on for me and I get a lot of strength out of that. It also reminds me and anchors me that okay, when I I put this color on, I'm gonna go kill it. And whenever my mindset really starts turning positive like that, I just lock in and things end up going much better than if I didn't take those steps. So she says, Sunday night she says to me, hey, can you get me an image?

You need to have full copyright ownership and I will publish your image in Forbes. So of course that's huge. So I start immediately I connect the dots in my mind and say okay I want a picture of me on the TEDx stage because then that will help get my TEDx speech more views, my talk more views and that could really help you know the TEDx talk take off. So immediately I reach out to my friend on the TEDx team, TEDx Boca Raton, where I spoke, and asked Cindy for help. I said, is there any way you can help me

to get a release in 24 hours? Which, you know, that's a lot of red tape to cut through. Immediately Sunday night, she says, Heather, I'm on it, I'm gonna call a photographer, I'm gonna get with the remainder of the TEDx team, and we just need to get everyone to sign off on this. I don't think it's a problem because it'll look great for the TEDx team because it will be their logo front and center and You know coupled with the Forbes brand, which is really it's great for all of us

But it's just you know, can we make this happen fast enough? So putting it out there that this is going to work. It is not done yet Otherwise my Forbes article will be another picture of me speaking at something that I wasn't really wanting to be up there. But, you know, again, it's still a great opportunity. I'm really hoping we can pull this off though because it will, I hope it will just be further acceleration for the TED Talk and further opportunity to spread that message, which definitely is worth hearing. So that's pretty exciting what's going on. We'll see. By the time this comes out, we'll know. The article will be live. So fingers crossed putting it out there, it's going to work. I'm going to get the release. So the past couple of weeks as I said, had been intense because there was so much drama for me personally around the TED Talk and then relief once it was over. And then it's basically like a reboot. Okay, now I need to go back and get my mail

and start organizing my next to-do list. And then I went to New York to promote the talk. And I went on the Gary Vee show and I went on Nikki Glater and I did, was sway media with my girlfriend Amon and did a bunch of different shows in New York to promote the TED Talk that isn't even live yet, which again, I had no idea how it worked. So I just keep trying to move forward and get the message out there.

Now I'm looking at so many different things because I had to let some things drop. You know, I dropped some balls during this TED window where things got stressful, which was the answer for me to manage. You know, I had to focus on what I really wanted to achieve, which was the answer for me to manage. You know, I had to focus on what I really wanted to achieve, which was giving a fantastic TED Talk, because that would be something that will be timeless. It'll live in the digital world forever. So to me, that was priority. So if you were emailing me and trying to get a hold of me, I probably wasn't responding. And while it's not ideal, when you don't have a big team of people, I don't have people to, you know, peel things off to and say, hey, you go run with this.

So unfortunately, there's times when I just have to drop some balls. But what that, what I want you to learn from that is maybe you've been reaching out to someone and you're saying, oh my gosh, I thought I was going to get this person and they're not getting back to me. Well, maybe they're in, you know, a crazy window in their life that you're not aware of. For the past month, if someone was reaching out to me and I wasn't responding, it was not personal. It was about my focus and attention being exclusive to my TED Talk.

So you just never know what's going on. And that's really the approach that I take with anything when I'm trying to get guests on my show and they're not responding You know, I don't give up and I don't say oh, they don't want to do it I just reboot and say okay, what's a different approach? I can take this week and try to get back on their radar without annoying them Which is exactly the same approach I took with getting back in front of Gary Bannerchuck when I went when I had him on my show in May I asked him and my show in May,

I asked him and pitched him to have me on as a guest. He said yes, but then it took six months for me to get back in front of him again. Six months of me following up, being unique, giving different angles, trying to reach out to different people, six months. And there was plenty of crickets during that time. So don't take crickets as a no.

Crickets are, we're not doing something unique enough, we're not speaking to the right person, we need to change our angle, change our message, but just keep it moving. So so many exciting things going on right now, still a little overwhelming as I'm looking at a lot of different opportunity and trying to figure out, and again, through strategizing with Gary,

how do I grow and get more aggressive on social, create more content, which takes more time, and possibly it's bringing on that right intern, that right person onto my team, but then I also need to continue pitching myself for speaking engagements, because that's my number one revenue stream. I always need to promote my book, promote my course, because those are other ancillary revenue streams. Now I also need to pitch myself to promote my TEDx talk because I want to get ahead of making sure that message is going to be received and heard by enough people and go viral. I also always need to be pitching guests to come on my show each week on my podcast as well as I'm in the process of revising my book proposal for my second

book. And now with my guests that you're going to meet next, who I absolutely love. I mean, she's amazing. Kim Gravel is a total rock star. I flew to Atlanta and went to her house and in doing so, she and I just really connected, hit it off. She's just, this is a woman who supports other women. And she was so great. She said to me, she gave me her cell phone and she said, Heather, listen, you can never text me enough, you can never reach out to me enough. Here's my email, you will never bother me. However, I get really, really busy and sometimes I go dark.

She's got a number of different shows on QVC as well as a number of different other commitments that she's involved with and working on some different television stuff. She said, so if you don't hear back from me, just keep pinging me. And that's exactly what's happened over the past couple of weeks as she's really mentoring me and guiding me on this huge opportunity, potentially huge. I mean, again, you never know, but with Kim's guidance, I'm working on a concept for a clothing line for myself. And it's a lot of work, and I put a lot of time into it,

but she's been beyond amazing and giving me direction, feedback, ideas. She's just a brilliant marketer. She knows what works, and she's built a hugely successful, wildly successful company and personal brand. So she's just an amazing person to take advice and direction from. But that wouldn't have happened if I hadn't reached out to her and pitched her to be on my show and then didn't take the time to fly out there and then take an Uber a couple of hours outside of Atlanta to go to her home, which is holy cow amazing

and get the chance to meet her business partner, her husband, and she welcomed me into her home. So it was a really amazing experience, so grateful for it, and to get the chance to know women that actually support other women instead of trying to tear them down has been, it makes me emotional. I can't tell you after for so long I was working for 14 years in an environment where one woman in particular tried anything she could to take me down

and her minions were the same way and it was such a crappy feeling. So if you're in a situation where you're around people who aren't supporting you, aren't encouraging you, aren't mentoring you and challenging you to grow, you are in the wrong room and change rooms. It's your choice. I wish I had made it years ago, but you know what? I'm just grateful for where I am today because things are really starting to click and no one succeeds alone and that includes me at things wouldn't be clicking for me without people like Kim Gravelle. So I'm so excited to introduce you to this woman who literally looks like she could be my sister. She is the absolute best blonde bombshell. You're

gonna love her personality just like I do. I'm certain of it and I can't wait to hear what you think. So definitely hang tight because you're going to want to know everything that you can about Kim and her ascent to where she is because she's light years ahead of me. I mean light years. Her revenue is massive. But before we go there, if you don't know your numbers, you don't know your business. The problem growing businesses have is it's what's keeping them from hitting their numbers. It's hard, podge business systems or no business systems. They might have one system for accounting, another one for sales, but nothing's connected

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offering you valuable insights with a free guide, seven key strategies to grow your profits at NetSuite.com-moneyhand. That's NetSuite.com-moneyhand to download your free guide, seven key strategies to grow your profits, NetSuite.com-moneyhand. Slash Monahan. Hi and welcome back. I'm so excited for you to meet this bombshell. Him Gravel. Former Miss Georgia, one of the youngest ever, she is no stranger to TV. In addition to her frequent appearances on QVC where she's killing it, she was the number

one guest on Steve Harvey, appearing in 42 episodes. She also had her own docu-series, Kim of Queens. In addition, Kim has guest hosted Fab Life. Of course she did. She's been on HLN countless times. She has her own apparel collection called Bell by Kim Grivel on QVC. And she debuted Beauty by Kim Grivel.

And now her own TV show on QBC, this woman is killing it. Thank you for making time for me today. Oh, I'm so excited. You are, let me just first by saying, you are absolutely gorgeous. You are too, stop it. I'm saying you're going, okay, I'm with the brows.

What lip are you using? Can I have a makeup company for the love of God? For the love of God. Well, that green so much, you know I was just asking all about your skin. So we're on the same page. For one skin junkie to another, well done. It's a lot of work.

Thank you. So I'm so excited to talk to you about a number of things, Kim. My show is all about creating confidence, which you have a plethora of. I mean, it oozes out of you. So going back to 91 when you were in the page and business, I wonder, and I'm interested to hear from you, were those tough times with your confidence? Was that coming up period, something that was challenging for you, or did it just come natural? You know what, it's so funny, ignorance is bliss, right? So when I was that age, I was 19.

So I started that journey because back then, you didn't have all of these American idols and social media and all that to get your message or your word or your talents out. So for us, especially being in the South, Paget's where the way to go. And I was not always the most attractive girl in the lineup. You know what I'm saying?

No, come on, girl. Thank God this is a podcast, because if you could, I could show you pictures of me when I was, I did see that you had dark hair back then. I like it so much better. I was dark hair, I had a flat chest,

a big nose, and a huge mouth. Stop it. But what I did have was this knowing inside of me, even at a young age that I had something to say, I think a lot of us have that when we're younger. And as we get older, and I was not sheltered, but I was sheltered. I really stuck to my dreams, stuck to my drive, stuck to my vision. And so I didn't dabble in the things that distract you when you're younger. So yes, at 19 I had this bulletproof crazy confidence that really served me, but when I went to Miss America and realized, uh oh, here's the

real-world cam. That's when I got shaken. So I think when we're younger we had that kind of confidence. We had that kind of knowing we're here for a reason. And we get older and we let the world opinions, now social media, competition, I could go on and on. Filters into us and it changes how we see ourselves. So I had to get back, I went to a 10 year period where I was floundering and didn't know where I was going, didn't know what I was doing. I still knew deep down, but my actions didn't show

that kind of confidence. That was during this pageant time for you? Well, it was after the pageant time. When you have nothing to compete in or nothing, you're going out, you're trying to get jobs, you're getting your education, you're seeing everybody else rise and you're going, why not me, right?

So what do you do to get through that time? You have to, honestly honestly look in the mirror. You can, in women are so bad about this, we compare, we say, oh, we're too old, because by, you know, about 30 in Hollywood, you're too old. Or they tell you, you are. You cannot look at any of that. You have to just

Self-reflect and realize okay, I know I'm here for reason. I know God made me for a reason and Get busy about what that reason is let everything bad relationships my guys if I could just tell women please date Don't sleep around date around Don't commit yet commit toit to you. Commit to yourself from 20 to your whole life, but really that 20 to 35 year old woman, I want to say, girl, please put more planning in your career in your life more than you do the wedding you want. I mean, it's just that time is so golden and I wish I had lost it. So I always tell girls here, don't I work so hard so you don't have to. Let me just let you work smart. Just let me tell you what what what doesn't work and what does work. And

it's universal too. I hate to break it down to you, but that is truth. Here's what's interesting that you say this. I was just on a flight coming out here to Atlanta as you know, and I'm looking at my Instagram and I had posted something today about business negotiation and essentially it's something I learned a long time ago, but essentially it says this, the person who cares the least about the relationship wins in a negotiation, reason being because if you're willing to walk away from something you hold all the power. I was talking about business, okay? So I put that post up, I'm getting off the flight, I look at the comments, a man had commented, man I don't know what it

follows me, hey Heather, this is complete crap or whatever. We know we should be lucky if you could find a good man now that you're at your age. A man could a man that could date you in the marketplace, he called the marketplace could get someone half your age. So you should

change your attitude. What was interesting to me was two things. One, first of all, I got to go comment to that comment. Oh, I did, don't you worry. Don't you worry I did. And of course, we'd love to have you gone. I love it. God love you, though, side.

Oh, it's bright. But clearly that guy's struggling. But my point about this is that's where people get caught up. I for a second read that and I thought, oh my god. Like, is there true to this? Just in the first place. Just just just in a second, right? I'm like, oh my god like is there true to this just in the first just just in a split second right I'm like oh my god right but it hit me I was like oh my gosh should I go back to that relationship that I just like you know

like for a split second that hits you and you doubt yourself and then I had to take a deep breath and get centered and get back to what you were saying which is hang on a second no I I'm a good person I can focus on what I'm doing. I'm a great mother. I'm great at my podcast. I'm great at my job and I'm having fun and life and good things will come to me and let get back to that. I'm going to take it to a whole nother left. I'm leveling you up even with that. I love that. So you said, what did you say in the in the post? Because I just want to hear you said, if you don't want them, basically, they want you. Yeah. Right. So if you in any negotiation, the person who cares about the partnership

holds all the power. So I'm gonna take it from a negative connotation that I'm not caring the least. It's not even about caring the least. Does it line up? Watch this. Listen to me, who I was listening to me. Does what?

This opportunity, this relationship, this friendship, this eating habit, this lifestyle, whatever the thing is that you're working on, because it all applies to everything. If it does not serve the highest call on your life, let it go. Wow. So if, if, and I'm preaching to the choir here

because it is taking me so, I got Coach Hills she'll say it. So it's touching somebody. So when everything that comes to you, every opportunity that comes to you, every relationship, just because it comes, don't mean just because you can do it, doesn't mean you need to do it.

If it does not line up, it's not in my carrying the least. It's about, hello, sir, does this line up with what I want for my future? No, it doesn't. So, bye. Bless you. God bless. Does this line up with what I want for my future? No, it doesn't so bye Bless you. God bless. Does that make sense?

It does You're getting desperate than just the hustle. It's more than just a hustle It's a call when you wake up and realize I'm here for a reason I Have something unique and special to offer whomever your platform is whoever your audience is whoever your partner is And if it doesn't serve that, you can't do it. That's an unbelievable lens to put everything. That's what I had when I was 19. I left it for 10 years. I'm back. What was that turning point moment when you knew you got back to it?

When I could say no to things that, I mean, I used to say yes to every little opportunity. I was worn out. I was physically drained. I was in a rat race. And you know what? It's not that you're better, because I would say this, I'm better than this. It's not even that. It's not your better.

It's just not what I meant to do. I can't tell you how many things I've turned down. Like, you know what? It's, I'm just not, that's know what? It's not meant to do that. We take opportunities to get more opportunities to get to our activities. I say this really firmly, you cannot create opportunities. You cannot create them. So all the hustlers out there listening and you're out there and you're scratching and calling,

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financing offer at NetSuite.com slash monahan. NetSuite.com slash monahan to get the visibility and control you need to weather any storm. NetSuite.com slash monahan. NextSuite.com slash monahan to get the visibility and control you need to weather any storm. NextSuite.com slash monahan. There's so many people wanna go out there and that's when you get out of the lane. That's when people don't stay in their own lane. There's a lot of people doing top shows and make up lots of stuff that have no business doing it.

They're chasing the coin or they're chasing what they think they saw somebody else chase. There's a lot of people out of the lines. That's why money and career doesn't satisfy your soul. You have to serve the soul, the spirit, and the heart, and then follow what's in that. But let me come at you from a different angle. Sure a single mother, where income is critical. Because you're the only one paying the bills. And I go back to the day I got fired, that panic moment that I know a lot of people feel,

which is, okay, that's okay for Kim to say, Kim's married, Kim's doing well, right? You build up a great career. What if you're Susie that just got fired and has her bills to pay, it's so hard to say, I need to follow my passion and do what's right in that moment. It's scary. You're working pay the bills and then follow the passion five to ten or five to twelve

because I did that. That's what people don't know because I can't so God's blister. She's so gifted. They didn't see the dice where I took no vacation for seven years. And all I did is I took a day here and a day here to go speak and a day here to do this. And I mean, I did, I never had vacation. I worked seven days a week. The people don't see when I worked from nine o'clock to seven o'clock at night at multi-family housing and managing apartment community. And then from seven to the next morning at six o'clock I drove to Nashville to record my first little Christian CD with the money I had saved from my $36,000 a year paycheck to put into the thing to sell it and then go on the weekends and sell that

truck of my car, MC Hammer. That I'm not saying you don't have to work. I'm saying don't work to chase to don't work to chase an opportunity. I've seen people quit their jobs to chase their opportunity. I have seen people leave relationships to chase an opportunity. You can't chase an opportunity, you can't create an opportunity. You have to let it come to you and then you take it. What you do in the meantime is prepare for it. Because so many people get these opportunities and they're not prepared. I can't go down a bucket list of people at

QVC, then I go make it, then I go make it, then I go. You know right away. Oh, instantaneously. Because you know what? If you have not prepared for your opportunity, when it comes, you won't have the stamina, you won't have the confidence, you won't have the stamina you won't have the confidence you won't have the balls you won't have the creativity you won't have the the infrastructure see with a hundred million dollar a year business let me tell you what it takes to have that that's what people people want all this money and all this power but they don't know the sacrifice that you have to make To get there and the sacrifice is not going put me out TV put me out the sacrifice says oh, God I've got to sit here for two hours and do this freaking Excel spreadsheet and get these margins down

So we can sell it to give you seed and get the right price and get up. Okay, so it's just You'll be seated, get the right price, you'll get up. Okay, so it's just people, I love all the go-girl stuff that I'm hearing and I love to see women rise and I love this passive income thing you're talking about, that's a whole nother podcast. But now what I want people to understand is you will not be able to sustain the success

if it is not your heart's passion and desire and call. You will be broke, tired, you won't be able to handle it. Your relationships will fall apart, your help will fall apart. Your mental and mental strength is, we should write a whole book about that. Mental strength is so missing today. 13 things, mentally strong people don't do. And it's all about this. Yes, it's amazing. Because you have to have the fortitude and the belief and your stuff to go to turn down the opportunity.

Like you said, full circle to say, you know what? Pretty much not gonna do that. And it's not easy for us. But just have it to us in a big way. I will not give it to you because it's so fresh. But literally just one of the biggest opportunities in my life, and it was just being ripped out from under me. And I pretty much said, you know, then if you rip it, then I'm done. To walk away from

this opportunity that I'm talking about is huge. You know, and they came back and it worked out. So, oh my gosh, but you had to be willing to law. I was I was walking Everybody around was like what are you doing? I'm like I'm sorry. I just I it goes against everything I know in my soul That is what I'm supposed to do you can't compromise You can you can. You can negotiate. You can partner.

I always tell people all the time now, when I talk to people, they'll say, can I want to work with you? I'm like, no, you want me to work for you. I'll work with you, but I ain't working for you. So that's the whole thing. People want you to work for them. And that's fine.

Everybody needs to pay check. That's awesome. But where I'm at now and what I've gone through, I'll work with you. But you ain't going to own me. Oh, that's a beautiful thing. That's a beautiful space to be in. But you can be in it a lot quicker and a lot easier than you think. So what's the key there? Keep working on you. And I know that sounds so cliche and so this and so, you know, I quote a script, your own in heartbeat. I mean, so you honestly have to really get real with yourself.

Because so many people like, I want to go, I want to quit this job by day job and I want to do this. But a lot of people like, there are teachers out there. There's nurses. There are people who are doing startup companies and stuff. And it's what you're meant to do, it will work. You just have to think of it. Yes, I'm living it right now.

I am living it. What happened here? I'm not business part. She's sitting right here. We spent countless hours talking about this particular thing. Because everybody, I go and speak. And I say, how many of you believe everybody has a purpose? Every hand goes, oh, and again.

Every hand. Even men too. And then I say, well, how many of you believe everybody has a purpose? Every hand goes, I'll hand it again. I'll hand it. It's a men too. And then I say, well, how many of you know what yours is? And it's maybe 1%. Wow. And so that's the big get. So how do we get people to figure out what their purpose is? Like, I've drilled mine down to one word, one word, maybe two,

but one word at the most. I'm a builder. That's what I do. And I'm an edifier. I love to see people rise, but more importantly, I'm a builder. I build people, I build businesses, I build relationships, I build connections, I build people's confidence.

I mean, I'm a builder. So if it doesn't go in like that, if it's not building something, but see, a lot of times you know what your passion is, it's just so obvious. It's everything you never what your passion is. It's just so obvious. It's everything you never thought you always wanted. It's right your face. It's okay.

Okay. Let me tell you why I agree with you 100% for 20 years. I was in corporate America part of my job. I was in charge of my sales team developing revenue, etc. Well, a bipartisan piece of that was I had to speak. I had to speak to sales organizations clients conferences etc I never got paid for that right and so I just did it and it was something I never thought about

I probably didn't have to work too hard at it either now It became very natural to me So what was interesting is when I got fired I sat there saying what am I gonna do? How am I gonna go? What am I gonna do? Okay? I'll write a book. I don't even know how I came oh no I don't at the Elvester, and so that's how I came up with the idea He said to me you're writing a book. I said of course I'll write a book. I don't even know how I came up. Oh no, I don't, I was tarantial. That's how I came up with the idea. He said to me, you're writing a book. I said, of course I am writing a book. I wasn't writing a book.

However, then I researched how to sell books. Speak, I said, oh, okay, I know how to do that. Okay, go speak. And then within two months, I got picked up by a speaking bureau, and then, et cetera, et cetera. So it's taken off from there. Well, what I didn't know was right in front of my face,

something I was really good at came natural to me. Probably all your life. I enjoyed doing it. But do you remember when you were young? Yes. I remember my grandfather's funeral. I was the only person that went. I was the only person that went.

I stood up to go speak for his funeral because everyone else felt nervous and I said, I can do it. I'm meant to do it. And I- Well, where were you? Gosh, I was, I don't know, 15. So everybody go back to your 15-year- old self. And think of what was it you really like, even though it's, you might not know you can make money from it.

I didn't know people got paid to speak. I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Right. And then it took years. It took me getting fired. It took me researching and falling into this to see this is a billion dollar business. So, bam, let's pause here. Let's just pause here for everybody listening. This is what I'm trying to get people to do sooner, quicker. This is what I want the millennials to get and the generation coming after this. If you will catch on to this because see,

we come from a generation of parents who are like, you better work hard and save your money, get your government's those security. That's where we come from. We come from this this mentality of that baby boomer built. That's where we're birthed. Okay. So for us, we like, we got to get a job and then chase the dream. So I want to say the young people chase the dream and get a job. Absolutely. Do you see what I'm saying? Absolutely. Everybody's like, I got to get a job to pay my bills and then I'll chase my dream. You chase that dream and then get a job. How do you do that with your kids? Well, Travis and I, I have a partner in Travis and we work together, but I remember

sitting at home because we made a conscious decision to stay at home. I stayed at home with my kids. It was the worst thing ever. I'm sorry to all the brilliant, beautiful moms out there. I would call him daily. I'd call him, and he'd go, I'm sorry. I just, I'm not a stay at home mom. And it, that killed me. I'm glad I did it. And I did it for my children.

I hope they're not scarred for life. Probably would have been best of them and take care. But, but I just remember working every day knowing, this is a season, this is a season, you have to understand this fear that we have that the time is running out. That is a lie, it's not running out. Your time is not running out.

The time will be when the time will be. So take a beat and really prepare for the dream. Write the dream down, write the goal down. You gotta work, you gotta pay your bills, but we focus too much on that than we do cultivating our gift. So what if you would have started at 15 cultivating that speaking gift?

You probably would have never had to go to corporate America. No. So if anybody's out there right now listening saying, well, I'm a single mom. I've got two kids. I got to pay my bills. Cool. Do that. But shift your mindset and get a new drain.

And you can work on that a little bit. But it's so funny because in guys economy, I can't tell you how many opportunities. This something just happened to us yesterday. When you release something It's almost instantaneously something comes. Yeah, truly let it go. Not when you're right something about to have six years for They let it go when you go I'm making the decision. I'm just it just opens the floodgates So I would say to you work on that practice. No work on getting a blog out there do that working on getting your blog out there I say the self-temperant entrepreneur is like,

my product, oh girl, I got to go set a girls right now going, I got the best product, I got the best product. I'm like, baby, you've talked too much about your product. You're product ain't nothing, nothing night, nobody else out there got? There's nothing new under the sun and product. Tell me about the people you go sell to. The people you're called to make to help you run it.

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off your first purchase. That's thirdlove.com slash confidence for 15% off today. When we look at your career and coming out of the pageant lifestyle, what was that next big move you? I know that you said you had that 10 year window of struggle and figuring things out. How did you land on TV? Because to the outside world, to me, and people that research you and know you from QVC and from your appearances, your show, you know, how did it come to be boom that blow-up moment? There was a moment. There was kind of a moment because again, it goes back to making great conscious decisions. I remember when I was had the children and I had a singing group, we traveled made five albums, we traveled all over the country singing

to women's groups, churches, community centers everywhere. And I knew it's time to level up. So I just knew I just knew I want more. This is not enough. And this is a natural progression. And I'm kind of like I said ignorance is ignorance is bliss. So I said, um, you know what, I had done a 10 year talk show. We'll send to this and God works. She listened to a long time ago. So I leave Miss Georgia WSB here at Atlanta calls me and says, we want to give you a job. I'm like, I don't want to do TV. I'm not going to do the news. I mean, all that. I'm like, I don't, I want to sing. So you're not going to different path. Someone approached me just a little community talk show says Kim, I don't want to sing. So here I go on a different path. Someone approached me, just a little community talk. Showed us as Kim.

I want you to come do this community talk show. I did it for 10 years and never made one time. Oh my gosh. 10, I would take my vacation and go and type those shows. 10 years. It was live TV, taped edit to TV, remote TV. I did it all. Because you just loved it, loved it, did it for free. I made not one penny. Well, for 10 years. Didn't know that. So then I said, you know what? I'm going to go

and get a reality talk show. I need to get my name out there. I didn't do a book. I didn't do anything. And so I went and pursued reality TV show. And we got one. And you got one. But because of that experience that you have. That's right. And people don't see that. That's right.

And that's what most people are smarter than me. Because if it takes you 10 stupid years to get what you need to go, that's me. Okay. Most people are a lot quicker than me. Yeah, but now that I'm putting these pieces together, that's also what set you up for success on QVC. Girl, I mean, that's it.

Right. I mean, all of that. All of it's all in the preparation. So when the opportunity comes to you, you're prepared. So when I went on Steve Harvey's first time, I'll never forget and I walked in there. I was promoting our reality show. It was a big code to get on there

because I couldn't get anybody on anything at that time. And I sat down and I had the second, Steve, and I'll never forget, so he was, you coming back. He said, I won't hurt back like next week. He wasn't lying either. And I went back and back and we were turning them down. We kept, we were like, we can't go out there. Everyone, get y'all get somebody else.

Were you nervous that first time you went on the show? Yeah, yeah Steve's up powerhouse. Yeah, but see again, I know my I know my audience My audience is just regular people just like Steve's audience. It's just trying to laugh a little and joy life Have a little bit of success or a lot of success whatever because success is relevant You know, it's it's to you it might be different than what is to me. Sure. And so, you know, I'm just a regular person, but I believe, I believe in myself and I believe in people.

And I know by faith that each person is created so fearfully and wonderfully and uniquely made. And I get emotional talking about it. And if they would catch on to that, see, I know that about myself. So it doesn't matter if I'm a size 12 and in 48, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter if you're 16 and you know, you're, you come from, you know, wherever Peru and you're in this country, it doesn't matter. See, when you know, wherever Peru in your end of this country, it doesn't matter. See, when you know you're unstoppable,

to me, that's the biggest job of all, is for you to clearly, and not be okay with yourself, and I've accepted myself, no to love who he has made you to be. When you can do that, you're unstoppable. But that is your confidence. That is your confidence. I couldn't agree more. And that really calls for you to be. When you can do that, you're unstoppable. But that is your confidence. That is your confidence. I couldn't agree more. And that really calls for you to step into who you really are, not who you're trying

to show up for, for your boss, your husband, your friends, you know, whatever. But really everybody, that's everybody's doing that. Everybody's doing what you just said. Yeah. And you say that again, so everybody knows that, like a side note that you said, because that's what they're doing. But I know that because I did that for a long time. I remember in corporate America,

don't wear your hair this way, don't wear a short skirt, don't wear this. I heard all the don't, don't, Heather, don't speak up. People are seeing, you know, that you're too tough. Well, show up as you, and if you're being told not to be you, you're in the wrong room with the wrong people.

And that wasn't a pith any moment for me. Now, and there's some people, like, there's some of the, I just keep it real. I just wanna be me. I was about an upset everyone. You don't even know who you are. You know, so there's the flip side of that too. Sure.

You're right. It's not, being who you are is not attitude. It's not a catch phrase. It's not a meme on Instagram. It's not, I just been saying what I mean, it's not being who you are is not attitude. It's not a catch phrase. It's not a meme on Instagram. It's not, I just been saying what I mean. It's not any of that. What I'm saying is to just that stillness of just like, yeah, I'm not going to do that.

Right, because you just know it doesn't align with you. When that is true power, that is what all the greats have. That's what my angel had. That's what over hands. That's what all the greats have. That's what my angel had. That's what Oprah has. That's what Steve Jobs got. I loved Steve. I loved watching that Steve Jobs, because it was a roller coaster.

Everybody thinks it's just this event. It was a roller coaster when he was not serving his true self. He got fired. Yes. And then when he took a beat and he went back and he got to his same, and he got up and got back again. Right.

It went even bigger. So true. So that's my that's my that's I mean, I know I sound like a preacher because that's what I went to school for. It's the only jam. But it's the truth. It's not about your education. It's not about your age or height, your weight, your color, your gender.

None of that. It's all about people like people are in are drawn to people who know who they are. I can't think or authentically who they are. So I need your help with something. Okay. Okay. So you're an expert in the pageant world. I have zero experience and I just got tapped to go be a judge for Miss Alabama.

Oh, oh, oh, go. You got a good one. Miss Alabama, USA or America, the sexy one or what? Because it's like I'll say the sexy one or smart with a both smart. Miss America. Oh, good, good, good, good. Well, now they have they put back the

Bain suit competition. I don't have any. I don't even know what I'm talking about. She cut the Bain suit part of a Hague Ratchet. She was there two years before me. So you're going to know. You're going to say, get in there. But what was I going to walk in and whoever's the realist,

whoever is the real deal, holy field sitting there and then go, I believe it's so and so and so. Well, it's interesting because you did go back to a couple of times since we've been talking. You don't have to be a certain way. You don't have to have certain eye color, certain hair color. And in my mind, I'm thinking, well, then how do you judge something like this? So that's interesting.

Just go in there and use my own instinct. But don't use what somebody else gives you a list of what they want. Do they do that? Do they tell you? Some do? Yeah, interesting. Do what you look.

It's like hiring for a job in so hard to find good people. We're looking for people right now. But we just can't hire anybody, because it really affects the DNA of your company, the DNA of your spirit, the DNA of your product, everything. So the same thing goes with these badges. You've got to get a girl in there who's passionate about what she's passionate about.

And those people are hard to find though, honest to God. What I'm talking about is the ultimate get in life. I can sit here and go, yep, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Okay, she's got it. I mean, it's so rare to find somebody who's just who they are. Is that what you taught when you would coach people for the pageant? Yes, it was torture. Because nobody would know what I was saying.

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millionaire university on Apple Spotify or wherever you get your podcast. So you're winding down with the podcast. Sounds like you have no plans to leave the couch tonight. Nope. You just want to unzip your jeans, slip on a pair of fuzzy slippers and rip open a bag of skinny pop popcorn. Because the only place you're going tonight is the bottom of this bag of popcorn. They still don't know. I say that and people are like, I don't understand. I'm confused. You sound dumb. I don't know. I mean, I'm like, okay, because you, but once you get it, it's like almost like, you know, once you taste that one piece of chocolate cake, you going back for more, right? It's, it's that addicting. So once you, once you taste that one piece of chocolate cake, you're going back for more. Right. It's that addicting.

So once you, once you operate that one time and who you really are, it's like a drug and you know it. You know when you're off. Like I was, what was I off the other day? I was off last weekend when we went to our retreat. I was off. We had a Zion retreat and I was just off because I let the energy around me affect me.

And see, but I know I'm so, I can recognize that now. And so then when that happens, I just shift it. I just change. I just change when I look at it. So I'll rank him. You're coming at it from the flash. You're coming at it from your insecurity. You're coming at it from your whatever.

Come at it from your true self. Well, I like that you just shared that even you, someone who has mastered this, you still have these drawback. You never master. You're always a student. If you don't wake up curious, you're screwed. There's so much to learn and so much information. When you wake up thinking you've arrived,

you are, you might as well just cash it in. It is, that is the death kiss of death. You will not, in every aspect of your life, you have to always be going, what? What? So these millennials, oh, you hire the millennials and

milk them today, gotten nothing else to give you. You have to surround yourself with people who are not like you. You don't have to go to bed with them. You don't have to get in business with them. But you got to learn from them. Because you're never going to learn from a guest man. I can't stand that. I got a girl.

I got to grow this. She's not a friend of me. But I say it because I just. I can't stand that. I gotta girl, I gotta girl this. She's not a friend of me, but I say it because I just, I love to say it because she's, she's exactly who she is and sometimes she can get a little knife in you every now and then and I look forward to it. Cause I know when I get her, I'm getting, I know what I'm getting. There is no fakery.

I mean, she'll jam me every now and then and it's, I sit there and go, oh my God, you're not gonna believe it so I just jam me. And I know that sound silly and you think, Kim, are you crazy? every now and then and it's I sit there and go, oh my God, you're not going to believe it. So it's just jam me. And I know that sounds silly and you think, Kim, are you crazy? I found the humor in it. But God, I'd rather deal with somebody real than somebody fake. Yeah, but this is why you did so well in my opinion on Steve Harvey. And I remember when I went on the producer, the female producer, not the head

producer sat with me right before we went on air. And she said, how are we talking the phone number of times? We talked to you about being you. We talked to you about using your voice. I need to know when you go out on the stage right now, you're gonna be you. You're gonna be your strongest you. And I'm thinking,

you're tricking me up right? She's so freaking out. Why wouldn't I be me? Yes, I'm gonna be me. But the whole point was what I'm understanding or what I heard from her, they had had other guests out there that obviously were vanilla or just went along with Steve or whatever it was. And clearly that was

never you. No, I remember Steve and I went at it a little bit on camera one time because I someone said something and I was like, no, that is not right. Like, oh, we were talking about sex ed and these in these health books and they're teaching all these kids this stuff in the fifth grade. I mean, come on people. I mean, still little brains can't even, they haven't even understand what's going on down there, but let's try to stick it in somewhere.

And so the book was going to, to the book and everybody, and there was a lot, there was another, there was a pastor on the panel. It was like, I think it's time, I'm like, are you crazy? Because as a mom, you know, I'm like, no, I'm sorry. There's limits to what kids can handle. It's a certain age. And I remember

Steve was like, all right, this is a Christian. And I was like, Christian, he ain't got nothing to do. I mean, him and I went at it. But see, that's why he with respect, of course. But that's why he liked me. Because he knew Kim's gonna give it to me straight. Kim, so, so, but don't you want somebody when? Yes, it's the fan. Yes. Or when God forbid something happens, who do you call? Do you call the people that are like,

oh, it's in the cute little Instagram people that's just faking and all, no, you gonna call Kim, girl, what do I do? What do you do? So it ain't sexy, it ain't thin, it ain't all that pretty at times, but it's real. Well, that's why, I really wanna talk about your new show. I mean, that's kind of what you're giving people

have that opportunity to have these conversations through your new show. Yeah, and it's through product too. I never thought I'd be selling a bunch of product. I never thought I'd be at the place where I would be having a fashion line or a beauty line. I mean, yeah, I mean, I maybe drink about it every now and then, but I never really saw myself doing it.

But when I did it for the first time, I was like, oh gosh, this is fantastic. So you didn't have the vision of it coming, but it was when it actually happened that then you know, this is what I'm supposed to be doing. This is one of the things I'm supposed to be doing because what I'm supposed to be doing is building, right? That's right. So I can build a lot of things. So again, they don't let yourself get, we're such a, we're going to have Dr. Philan, because he's a counselor and he's in a term, those days are over guys, specialized things like that. If you want to be in the business brand, it's entrepreneurial world. You have to be, I say it's you have to be

Fred Astaire, or you have to be one of the old actors. You have to sing, dance, right? They did do it all. Just once I answer, it's come full circle. So for me, I say build your call and then have different ways of making income, different ways of service, different ways of operating in it. But that's exactly what we were talking about when I got here was you were asking about oh about the different types of course building and different paths. I think you would kill on that. It's so interesting to learn that no matter how successful you are monetarily, there are

always new pathways that we can create or check out and investigate to see. Is that a great pathway to create new revenue for ourselves? You know, we always compare ourselves to the opres of the world or the Steve Jobs of the world, and those are like one in like a billion. Okay, those are specific reasons. Those people were put here to do specific things to be a catalyst for change. Hands down.

I tell my son this all the time, he's not going to be an NBA player. I'd sorry, I'm not going to be a catalyst for change. Now I tell my son this all the time, he's not gonna be an NBA player. I don't know. He's not gonna be Stefan Curry. He's not gonna be Stefan Curry. He's not gonna be Stefan Curry. And see, I know my oldest son, he's more of a referee. He could really be a fantastic referee.

He is that checks and bounds. I mean, that's who he is. But he thinks he's gonna be Stefan Curry. Well, okay, let's get real people. There's only one Oprah. So quit trying to be Oprah. So, exactly. So, what I get real people. There's only one Oprah. So quit trying to be Oprah. So, yeah, exactly what I wanna be you. So what I say is be you and be you in all different platforms.

We've got to get multitask and multi-minded when it comes to business and what comes to putting your messaging out there. There is no one way to get there. No, but also, I also believe Oprah was fired right Oprah's path wasn't some seamless You know why write down it to owning her own, you know Massive media brand it was fights and pivots and not giving up and going back So if you are driven towards something don't just take a path of lesser resistance because that's impossible

You're not gonna be able to get me you'll quit if'll quit. If you can't face a challenge in Hopper, we're in face challenge in Fight It Back or face challenge in Pivot, we're not talking to those people because they're not listening to this podcast. That's absolutely right. Or hopefully if they are, they understand everyone is going to face adversity. It is not just you. It's up to you. It's not easy. But my point with the whole OPER thing was, you can't be so tunnel visioned about, I want to be a singer, which you did want to be.

Right. I don't even sing anymore. See, do you some saying? Yeah. Don't let it be about the thing. Let it be about the thing. Let it be about the the the purpose. So what's the next big thing for you? I don't know. I'm open. I'm very open, you know, because I'm to a point when you reach a certain amount of success or I'm not a

faint chaser. I don't, I don't need to have a lot of followers and I don't need, I have to lay my head down at night. No, I have put something out. I mean Long story short, I am called to preach so to speak It might not be in the pulpit and it might not be the Bible all the time But it is to see people become more and become what they were created to be and it and I'm good at it See you're great at it. I'm good at it one. One on one was somebody I meet down there at the Wawa or the QT. I'm good at it on QVC.

I'm good at it on Steve Harvey. I was so honored. Steve, when he went to LA, I just could not go to LA as much as I used to. It's just too far of a trip. And we got a call from a producer. And I didn't know the LA team see because I've never been there

And he was about a year in and I thought well, I guess there's never gonna use me again, you know Because this new Chicago team was gone and we got this producer called and he said you know they were having issues with Ratings and things like that and you know just stuff you have with TV shows this irrelevant and he said damn How Kim Grvail get him Grvail here? He said he's never heard him ask for any other guest. But Steve knew that I could get in there and build. I could build him up, I could build the audience up, I could build the people I'm sitting in the couch with

because that's what I do. He even, he didn't even know how to put words to it, but he knew if I could just get Kim out here to help, to help. I don't even know what she's gonna do to see her and give her a opinion. There wasn't about that. It was what I did behind the scenes.

It was what I did for him as how I set him up and I could out the park. It's how I encouraged the staff. And you know, it's so interesting, you just remind me of, we never know what's going on on that other side because here you were wondering, I'm not even even getting a call anymore I guess they're not interested in working with me when in fact they wanted to have you there but it just you had not been wanting to travel out to LA and it took them actually having some challenges to say we need her out. I don't know. I don't know

if they wanted to I don't because I didn't know those people but Steve knew so they were just unaware of you. Yeah Steve knew and that that's my point. This is not about Steve knows. It's about like when you are, I thought that was over, right? So when you are who you are and you do what you do, it'll come back around. And there's also nothing wrong with reaching out to people when you haven't heard from them. Because you know, there's not, there's not. And I didn't have to go to LA all the time.

But I will say reach out, be persistent. But let it be the thing you really fight for what you really want. Don't fight for the scraps. Yes. That is something to reach about. Being good is fine, but being great is gonna cost you So it might cost you some opportunities it might so don't settle for good I've done that so many times. Oh my god. Can't how many times I mean if I'd done this and be like oh

Okay, if we could just get someone so wouldn't that be amazing and when it came to us It was so much bigger an asset. Oh girl. We weren't we weren't we weren't reaching high enough We were not going to go bigger. Hmm. Always go bigger. Great, but it cost you. Being great is going to cost you. But yeah, hustle.

I'm not saying, I don't want people to say, sit around and wait for it to come to you, because it doesn't. But make sure what you won't come to you, you won't. Because I wasted a lot of years chasing things. I really shouldn't have chased. It's such good advice. I did the same thing, but I wasn't acknowledging it. I got in the routine of life. Me too. And that when I look back now is wow, I don't let that happen

to you. Don't just show up every day. We got into the routine of life because that's what it tells you what you need to do. It's almost like there's no handbook, but it's like you do this and you do this and there is no handbook. To be successful, you do this. I'm saying throw out all of that crap and go inside yourself and see what you have to say. That's where true co-create your life with him. Don't don't don't let people create your life. Yes. You you if you'll be still and be silent and read and read your book and listen to

the podcast or things will come to you creativity and inspiration like you people just want to sit there and let it happen. You have to you have to let your mind go yes and think outside the box and be open to it. Be open but don't be so busy that you can't take that time for yourself. I can't even, I don't know what to say. To a 16-year-old, just chill, girl, you got time. So everyone's gonna want to find you. Where can we find you? Where can we watch you? And when does that happen? Kimgravel.com or any of our social media, Kimgravel. That's, that's better than any. You want to give me your phone number? And when are you on KVC? Every day. I mean, literally, that's how I know you.

That's a week. Once a week, it's been a blessing. We're actually creating home right now. We've done beauty and apparel. And it's been a massive success. But again, there's been 20 years of preparation. I've seen famous people come and go out of there. I've seen Oscar winners can't you have to prepare? You at they're gone. They're just gone. The brands are gone. They didn't they didn't hang on to it. It didn't didn't stick

Sticking this is everything to this a whole nother pie. You should write a book about that. You should write a book about it You know the right of people people have tasted it once, but they come back to the buffet if it ain't good. So you got to be sticky. And what it takes, it just takes a lot of preparation. And that's not sexy, I know. And people just want to put on some fake lashes and acute bra and a great selfie.

And think I'm going to want to be people laughing me all the time. The Kardashians are the hardest working crew in the end of the world. You never see it. I mean, it takes a lot of sacrifice. It takes a lot of work and a dream and a call. If you just operate in that, you'll be good. You figure that out. You nailed it.

Thank you, Kim. And I can't wait. Please check him out online. I'll follow you on Instagram at Kimgravel and I always catch up with you on QVC. Love you girl. Love you. Thank you. I hope you enjoyed meeting Kim as much as I enjoyed getting to know her and having that time with her because she is everything that you hear is so real and she's so legit and cares so much. I can't share that enough with you how kind this woman has been to me. And again, she's light years ahead of me.

And the fact how much time she gives me and ideas and support and challenging me, it's just so great to just keep going bigger. I got my entire deck done and presentation done for her. And we had a schedule to follow up call. We jump on the call and she says, how the first thing I want to say is, it's so nice. The number one, it looks great and you did a really good job.

I'm really proud of you. However, what do you think about this idea? Maybe we need to go bigger. And as soon as she said that, I just started laughing because she's right, you know, we can always go bigger and that's exactly what we're gonna do. So I'm shifting gears. I'm, you know, putting some focus on this this week

and I'm really gonna crank out an bigger idea, a bigger presentation, a bigger deck, and a bigger concept to go big. So, a whole type for that. I'm working on it. I'm really excited. A lot of work ahead of me this week, but it's going to be huge. I want to share a personal story. And I don't know if you guys haven't listened to my first episode, which is my episode with GaryVee. It's called Go Bigger Go Home. Check it out. It's my number one show on the podcast more downloads than any of the other shows, any of the other episodes. But I share, you know, what happened to me and how I got fired.

And what I wanted to talk about was during that time, two years ago, this was, the universe was screaming at me to do something. I had thrown my back out. I was losing my hair. Anyways, I ended up getting fired, right? So my body was telling me something was wrong. And I didn't know how to handle it. I didn't have a solution. I didn't take action and quit my job. But what's interesting is I ended up, my throw out my back, I had to go to rehab for a couple of months because I mean, if you've never hurt your back before, it is the worst pain ever. And I mean, I had a C section and that was nothing compared to this. I mean, it did not go away fast. It took months and it was scary.

Gosh, it was scary thinking that I could never run again or be able to work out. And it was a really hard time for me on top of exercise has always been my release. And so not being able to work out for months, it was a really, really hard time. The reason I wanted to share that with you today is I was just introduced to TheraGun, which is the most unbelievable new way to relax your muscles and to do it by yourself at home. And I got the actual gun. It's a handheld gun that's very lightweight. And I got it a couple of weeks ago. And as you know, I 12 year old son my son, play football now he's in basketball season, he's always crushing it with sports but like me he has super tight legs, hamstrings, quads you know and his back is already bothering him and so it was so cool that

now what we do at night when he gets home from practice and and I'm home is I take the gun on him and work his legs and it doesn't take long at all. It's extremely relaxing. It just it calms you down just the vibrating effect and it releases so much tension in your muscles. It's unbelievable. My son now begs to use a Thera gun when he gets home which makes me so nervous because of course I don't want him to break anything or drop anything but he's been great with it. He can even do it to himself which is so cool. I'm actually going to buy him his own and so that he can't he won't take mine anymore because I want to travel with mine. You know when I travel my back pulls or you know I still act up occasionally with to sit on a six-hour

flight I get tight and it's unbelievable the release that this provides. It's just, the arrogant is, it's so easy to use. It's handheld, it relieves tension. It increases blood flow, which is so needed. It's therapy leg, you can't even imagine. It's like a massive massage device. You know, it's like having another person there working your muscles for you,

but you're doing it yourself with something in your hand. Can you imagine how much money I would have saved on actual massages versus if I had owned this for the past couple of years? And I could have helped myself, right? It's empowering because you don't have to wait for someone else to see you, a rehab specialist or a massage person. You can actually take action and fix something yourself. And it's not painful at all.

It's so simple and it truly provides relief. So I'm so excited for any of my peeps that struggle from, you know, tight hips or bad backs. You've got a solution now in your hand that you can have in your home in the next day or two. And it's gonna provide you such relief. It's gonna increase your blood flow. It's gonna allow you to relax at night.

It's such a cool thing to do before going to bed. My son has slept like a rock since we've been using this. He's super excited about it every day. Ask me, where's the Thera gun? Did you charge the battery, mom? He wears that battery down daily. And it's so easy to use. There's a charging stand.

I mean, it's very, very simple. And the actual gun is so, it's just so light and easy to use. So empower yourself, invest in yourself, get your body free from pain and never struggle like what I did before. I will never again because I'm taking care of my body now on my own and investing in me and and Thera Gunn's helping me do it. So if you want two free attachments right now, you can get it with purchase www.theragon.com slash competence and you get two free attachments now. Definitely check it out. It's TheraGun, T-H-E-R-A-G-U-N. You will not be sorry. I promise you that.

So today, two different questions that I've received lately, which is so interesting. I spoke at an event last week and I got someone DM me after and said, hey, if you're going to create a course on confidence in dating, please keep me updated. And I thought that was an interesting question. What this woman was saying is that she really struggles with her confidence specific to dating. We all know this. Everyone has different highs and lows with confidence in to dating. We all know this. Everyone has different highs and lows with confidence in different settings. Maybe it work your confident, but in your personal life, you're not. Maybe you're super confident when you go working out of the gym, but if

you go to a charity event cocktail party, you're not confident, you know, there can be different ramifications and implications from different settings. So that's totally normal. But I never thought about addressing confidence with dating. So here's the thing. And I love this line is that you are a catch, so start acting like it. The minute that you see your value as a person,

as an individual, as someone to be in a relationship, someone who should be coveted, when you see yourself in that regard, others will see you in that regard. But if you don't see yourself in that regard, others will not see you, right? So if you're down and thinking, oh, I'm not good at dating, you're probably not going to be great at it. But, you know, what's the difference? And if you don't feel confident around dating, I would say probably right now is a time to take off from going on dates and instead start doing

things you love. Do you love working out? Do you like hanging out with your friends? Do you like meditating being creative and painting? Figure out the things that you really like to do that you feel confident in and let that confidence grow and stem from there journal so that you can watch your progress and you've got to start taking chances. So, you know, maybe it's at work that you've been holding back going for a promotion. Go for it. You have nothing to lose. And when you start taking chances in other areas of your life that you see, you know, I have some confidence over here. You know, let me go for it and push myself to go bigger. Then you can start applying all those things that you're learning back to your dating life and to in your personal relationships just because things haven't gone well in the past doesn't mean they can't be different now. I've

seen that happen countless times for so many of my friends. It's, you know, you're not just destined for one. Oh, I'm bad at dating and you know and I don't have a lot of confidence over here. Well, you can change that. You can change it in any area of your life. I have on my website, Heathermontahan.com. I have a free e-book you can download 30 days to your most confidence self. And that can totally be applied to dating. It doesn't have to be for work or in any other area.

You can absolutely apply that to dating. So I want to hear back from you if you're the kind of person that's been struggling with dating or in personal relationships definitely send me a DM or you can always leave me a question at my website at HeatherMonahand.com. I've got a drift bot on there that will has real-time feedback for you so that you can speak to me directly there and I'd love to hear back from you on that. I had another woman reach out to me that I've been working within the past year and she's got a very high profile job and she loves her work. She's definitely in a great company working for good people that love her.

She seems supported. She's in a good relationship, but it was funny. I had a question on my Insta story that said, what are you asking for this week? And she wrote, I'm asking for confidence. And I just thought that was so interesting. Here's someone to me, looks like they've got it all together. They're in the right job with the right people, integrate relationship. You know, it looks like things are going so well, but this week, she's really

asking for confidence for herself. So don't let, you know, sometimes we look at social media, we look at people and we think wow they've got it all together. The reality is no one has it all nailed down all the time. We all go through highs and lows and I can't tell you how much of a high and low I've gone through in the past month with this TEDx talk. It's so it probably sounds a little crazy at the 10 minute talk and I'm acting like it's the end of the world. But you know, I put a lot of pressure on myself and I had never done one before and standing in that little red dot knowing you can't leave the circle and knowing that clock is ticking and you have to hit your mark was a very different experience for me.

And I'll tell you, I'm so proud of what I did, but stinks that I still can't see it. It's like the most frustrating thing ever that you've done something that you're proud of and you can't Grasp it. I'm so over here saying where are you come out for the love of God? I can't wait till it's out and as soon as it's out I will keep everybody updated I will post about it share it everywhere and I'm gonna ask you to do the same But you know just to know this I was definitely struggling with my confidence especially the day of my TEDx talk. Holy cow, I was leveled that day.

So many different things went wrong and I started panicking. But luckily, I'll tell you, lavender for the save when I sniffed that lavender right before I went on stage. And then the last thing that I said to myself when I'm super proud of you is I was panicking and they called my name. I closed my eyes and I thought, Heather, if you don't go out here right now, you will never forgive yourself. However, if you walk out there on that red dot and you go for it and you bomb,

I will be so proud of you for just taking the step and going. Stepping into fear is always the answer. And I stepped into it, I turned it over and I'll tell you what, I couldn't be more proud, even though I haven't seen it yet. So step into fear, whatever it is, just like Kim Gravel said, double down on it, go bigger and just go for it, because if I can do it, you can too. So I can't wait to hear what you think of the show. If you could please leave me a rating and review, it helps so much. And I'll see you back here next week.

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